................... Posted October 28, 2015 Share Posted October 28, 2015 I have a child who will play, read books, day dream, sit on the toilet...and not start school till 10 o'clock. I would rather not be yelling and nagging. We use Accountable Kids system, but it doesn't really cover actually getting started on school, although we have tried. Technically she is not supposed to have any privileges until she finishes a "set" of cards (which includes some school), but other than reading, (which I have taken away as well), she will just in general take forever, and daydream while showering, having breakfast, etc. etc. So, in order to get my dd to start at a decent time, (which I think, now that daylight savings has happened and it's easier to get up early) is 8:30 ... Ideas? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dancingmama Posted October 28, 2015 Share Posted October 28, 2015 Can't help ya. My daughter just rolled out of bed. It's 11. She's out walking the dog, then she will eat, then she has a 1pm study session with her friend for Latin. Then she'll get some work done before dinner and dance. Subbing for ideas. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kiara.I Posted October 28, 2015 Share Posted October 28, 2015 Well, I'm not sure how conversations have been going. I have slightly younger kids, so my solution is to just go and get them when it's school time. A 5-minute warning that school will be starting, and then I escort them to the table. If you don't like that version, then I'd probably have a look at the book How to Talk so Kids Will Listen as a refresher, and use some of the techniques from that. A family meeting, maybe, where you both get to set out your views of the issue, and then brainstorm ideas to solve it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coco_Clark Posted October 28, 2015 Share Posted October 28, 2015 I guess it depends on why it matters? Is it because YOU need to get your part of her schoolwork done at a certain time? Aja by the time she's ready to work with you, you are busy with other things? Is it because she has afternoon commitments out of the house? I'm not unsympathetic. My 7yo WAKES UP after 9 most days. Then he putters about for-e-ver, and takes almost an hour to eat breakfast. He's often not ready to do school until after lunch :/. Drives me up the wall. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HomeAgain Posted October 28, 2015 Share Posted October 28, 2015 I'm a fan of the Overly Attached Girlfriend method. Getting right there next to them, cheerfully talking to them as they go through their tasks (because you're not going away until they do), asking them questions about what they're doing, encouraging them in a fake cheerful manner...it's very effective. They want you gone, you want them to do chores on their own and get started on school, and they will start to do anything after a while to get you away from them. :D 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mathnerd Posted October 28, 2015 Share Posted October 28, 2015 I'm a fan of the Overly Attached Girlfriend method. Getting right there next to them, cheerfully talking to them as they go through their tasks (because you're not going away until they do), asking them questions about what they're doing, encouraging them in a fake cheerful manner...it's very effective. They want you gone, you want them to do chores on their own and get started on school, and they will start to do anything after a while to get you away from them. :D It only works if they want you gone! My child is an only child and loves to talk and looks for companionship and cheerful conversations all day long :) 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HS Mom in NC Posted October 28, 2015 Share Posted October 28, 2015 My first instinct would be to say, "Well, it seems like you can't get started on time in the morning. We'll just move your bedtime to an hour earlier. If that doesn't solve the problem then we'll make it an hour and a half earlier. If that doesn't work, then 2 hours earlier." Is the actual problem not waking up in time? No, but most kids want to stay up as late as they can, so I'd tap into that.I'm assuming there are clocks in her bedroom and bathroom with the correct time. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
................... Posted October 28, 2015 Author Share Posted October 28, 2015 Love the last idea. That's it and it'll definitely be effective if I stick to it for a few days ! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted October 28, 2015 Share Posted October 28, 2015 Wait...daylight savings time happened where you are? It's not until this coming weekend for us...where do you live? 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tanaqui Posted October 28, 2015 Share Posted October 28, 2015 What's the problem with starting at 10? I see two situations here. Either starting at 10 really does affect your life negatively - maybe it means you feel rushed at dinnertime, or you can't make afternoon appointments. In that case, I'd want to talk to the kid about a solution that's mutually beneficial, perhaps a time in between her ideal start time (10) and yours (8:30), or maybe you could agree that she works six days instead of five, giving her an hour or so leeway every day, or maybe she could agree to do some solitary work in the evening after dinner. Alternatively, starting at 10 has no effect on your life, you just don't like her doing it. In that case, I would grit my teeth and ignore it. Some people simply take a long time to get going in the morning. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennay Posted October 28, 2015 Share Posted October 28, 2015 It only works if they want you gone! My child is an only child and loves to talk and looks for companionship and cheerful conversations all day long :) And this would be difficult to do with four children! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted October 28, 2015 Share Posted October 28, 2015 I have an early starter and a late starter. They also have somewhat different sleep schedules. But since they do their work, I don't worry about it. However, their work does not involve me, as both are independent 9th graders at this point. When the kids' work involved me, I served breakfast and then rounded them up to sit down and start read alouds, which gave everyone a chance to wake up and get their brains going. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennay Posted October 28, 2015 Share Posted October 28, 2015 I am dealing with this same problem, especially with DS age 13 and DS almost 12. I would be estatic if they would begin school work at 10:00! The problem is they have three evening activities that are very important to them (Science Olympiad for one, band for both, and Scouts for both) and they often cannot physically get into bed until 10:30 or so. And I do feel they need their sleep..... But I struggle with it because I am only functional for so many hours of the day and even though they do most of their work independently I have to check it, get siblings to afternoon activities, cook dinner, etc. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
................... Posted October 28, 2015 Author Share Posted October 28, 2015 Yes, the problem is that my own brain and patience wear thin as the day progresses AND we have afternoon activities AND my dd is a slow eater and loves to make her own creative lunch, AND 3 days per week her only exercise is to go walking or jogging with me in the am. I might be able to adjust it for 8:45 even though that is not my preference. And I'll see if she can accomplish what she needs in that time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
................... Posted October 28, 2015 Author Share Posted October 28, 2015 Daylight savings is this coming Sunday, but I just mean it'll be easy very soon. Only two school days left. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redsquirrel Posted October 28, 2015 Share Posted October 28, 2015 "We have a certain amount that must get done in a day. If you don't do it before you have to do ABC then you have to do it when you get back." That has been very useful in my house. It takes me out of the picture to some extent. DS2 has become a late starter, but he also likes to finish early, lol. In fact, he's just a school avoider. I don't like to start the day with a fight, because it usually causes the rest of the day to devolve and become horrible. DS2 will put up a huge battle if I push him too hard. So, he knows what we have to do and it is his job, not mine, to make sure it is done. I am there to facilitate, not dictate. I set expectations, and he has to meet them. He actively talks himself through this during the day. It's a constant stream of cost-benefit analysis, lol. Some days he says he knows he will have afternoon work, but it is worth it to him to have a break to go outside after lunch, etc. Other days, he wants to get done ASAP and he knows what that means...working with no breaks between subjects. And sometimes a subject was challenging and he just needs to clear his head if he is to work effectively on his other subjects. He has become good at self regulating. Yes, we had a few evenings with school work at the beginning, but that stopped pretty quickly. It was self-limiting behaviour. My older boy was exactly the same in 5th-7th grade. It started to wear off in 8th..started to wear off, not stop completely, mind you. But now he is in public high school and I think my backing off a bit in the middle grades and making him responsible for how his day went helped ds1 become quite disciplined in his work ethic. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pen Posted October 28, 2015 Share Posted October 28, 2015 Our consequence for doing what needs to be done is getting to go to a special activity. If not done, the activity cannot be done. This is the only motivator that ever has seemed to work for us. Bedtime is 9PM (not always perfectly adhered to) for young teen. That is as early as I feel it can be, and if sleep is needed later in morning that is okay. Reading in AM can be a way to get going and is okay. If I need something done by a certain time for my own reasons, I say so. If material is finished late, I can look it over the next day rather than when I am too tired. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted October 28, 2015 Share Posted October 28, 2015 I don't think it's that unusual to have to hustle the kids through their morning routine, so that's what I would do. Put that book down and get your clothes on! Hustle, hustle! *bang on bathroom door* Stop petting the cat and eat your breakfast NOW. No, don't let the cat taste your eggs, gross! Grab your math book and get to the table . . . move it, move it, move it! You might try using timers to remind you to move things along. I have alarms on my phone not just to wake me up, but to remind me a bit later that hey, you really should be dressed by now, lol. When my kids have something scheduled, we set a timer for the shower, because they easily lose track of time in there. You just have to stay on top of some kids. Parents with dawdlers and daydreamers in school are doing the same thing, except they're yelling about finishing homework and missing the bus. Just keep moving her through the day. You don't have to yell, but honestly you probably do have to nag. Just for a while, though. Probably no more than five years. Ten, tops. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TianXiaXueXiao Posted October 28, 2015 Share Posted October 28, 2015 My dd and yours have a lot in common. I myself do not make a good example of getting started in a timely fashion so we're kinda hopeless, lol. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HS Mom in NC Posted October 28, 2015 Share Posted October 28, 2015 I wonder if the kid in question is like my oldest who is just in her own little world often (which is fine after school hours) or if she's one of those people with no actual internal sense of time. ( I lost mine for 6 months after my middle daughter was born. It was freaky.) I'd be curious to know how she answers questions like: "About how long should it take you to take a shower?" "About how long should it take you to brush your teeth?" "About how long should it take you to eat breakfast?" "About how long should it take you to get dressed and do your hair?" If she gives unrealistic time frames, that may be the problem. She may need someone to give her a more realistic time frame. When she has a good idea of how long things should take plus an extra 10-15 minutes of wiggle room on top of that, she can watch the clock and start regulating herself. If she's someone who has a hard time keeping lists in her head, she may need a morning routine checklist with or without those times on it. You can print one out and put it in a plastic page cover and use a dry erase or wet erase marker on it until she gets the hang of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kirstenhill Posted October 28, 2015 Share Posted October 28, 2015 My DD can dawdle or get sidetracked pretty easily on some days too. I make it a rule that there should be no "fun stuff" until after schoolwork is done (playing with friends, email, video games, crafts, pleasure reading, etc), which should be a motivator in and of itself. But sometimes it is not, and DD dawdles just doing nothing (or does something like read her literature selection for an hour, reading more than what was assigned, to the detriment of getting other work done). One way I've tried to combat it is by encouraging her to think about what she wants to do later in her free time. So she reminds herself she wants to see if a friend can play or she has a craft in mind to do after school and that helps her redirect herself a bit. Sometimes anyway...;-) Since I really want her to learn to overcome procrastination and dawdling, I do "let her" fail in this (not to say I am not reminding her to stay on track, but I am not holding her hand anymore either like I do my younger kids) so that she feels the pain of still having work do do at 4 or 5pm when her brothers are relaxing or playing with friends. If we have an activity, she still gets to go (unless it was something just our family was doing like a trip to the park...then I might be mean and tell her to stay home). So if it is guitar lessons or a meeting or something she still gets to go, and has to work again afterwards. I get tired too, but I have just decided to not let it concern me if she is still working. I don't stress, and I check her work the next day if is too late for me. So far, the latest she was ever working was 6:30 (the time we usually eat dinner). I think overall she is dawdling less, having felt the unpleasantness of still working in the late afternoon/evening. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2ndGenHomeschooler Posted October 29, 2015 Share Posted October 29, 2015 I'm having this same problem. I was hoping to have all of our schoolwork done by lunch but we aren't starting on time so that's not happening. I work 3 afternoons a week and we have activities another afternoon so we really need to be done around lunch time. I'm going to try some of these ideas with my oldest 2 and see if they help Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LMD Posted October 29, 2015 Share Posted October 29, 2015 We have Accountable Kids too. Do you use the on-time card? I put it at the end of the morning set, then we start school afterwards. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
................... Posted October 29, 2015 Author Share Posted October 29, 2015 LMD- we have the on-time card, but I can't remember how it's used. Can you share how you use it? How does it make them to be on time? Thanks! Mom in AZ yes our dd s are alike, you have definitely helped me with mine so many times!! I like your thoughts; thank you for sharing. I'll help her with time ideas and see if some lights dawn a bit there 😀 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
matrips Posted October 29, 2015 Share Posted October 29, 2015 I had that issue with my dd. finally I just acknowledged that she likes to take her time in the morning and I set her alarm that much earlier. Now she can take an hour to get dressed and do whatever, and it doesn't bother me. Because I'm still sleeping! She hated it at first (it's been two months) since she doesn't like getting up early, but even she realized it worked better than me nagging and hurrying her along. And if she starts turning off her alarm and going back to bed, I just plan to get more alarms and hide them in her room. And if she starts taking longer, her alarm moves along with it. We haven't had to adjust it for awhile now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Momofeat Posted October 29, 2015 Share Posted October 29, 2015 We're trying something new here. It's been 2 days, and so far, so good! :-) I printed out a time sheet, and my dd(12) now "clocks in" to do schoolwork. Part of her day must follow my schedule because it must be spent with me. I reminded her that kids who take classes outside the home have times that they must meet with their instructor according to their instructor's schedule, and the same thing has to happen here. For the other things, she has freedom to choose the order that she completes her work. However, she is not allowed true free time until she has put in 5 hours of school work. I may have to adjust the time requirement, but I think that if she works hard and stays focused on a daily basis, she'll easily finish her required work for the week before the weekend begins. I do break up the school time with things like walking the dog, but I set those times, not her. I plan to give her more leeway as she matures and shows an inclination to actually complete her work without my intervention. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scoutingmom Posted October 29, 2015 Share Posted October 29, 2015 We have Accountable Kids too. Do you use the on-time card? I put it at the end of the morning set, then we start school afterwards.I was going to suggest the on-time card, or the privaledge pass..... Sent from my SM-T530NU using Tapatalk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tsuga Posted October 29, 2015 Share Posted October 29, 2015 Once she gets started, does she work? I hate working in the mornings. I don't really wake up until later. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LMD Posted October 29, 2015 Share Posted October 29, 2015 LMD- we have the on-time card, but I can't remember how it's used. Can you share how you use it? How does it make them to be on time? Thanks! Sure. :) I put the on-time card as the last one in the morning cards (yellow). When the kids get up in the morning I tell them that on-time is x o'clock today. They all look at the clock and I can see the wheels turning lol! I'll usually remind them that if they get done early they have that time free. Then I pretty much leave them to get on with it. I'll do some reminders when it's getting close to time. Sometimes they're running around at the final few seconds! If they're late they still have to complete their chores but they miss out on their morning ticket and subsequently their star for the day. Make sure that they know exactly what is expected for each chore/ticket (we have printed lists up everywhere!) and that they really do have adequate time to complete them. Hth! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted October 29, 2015 Share Posted October 29, 2015 We tend to start school while breakfast is cooking. I can read poetry, she can do handwriting and that kind of stuff before food. She still might take an hour to eat breakfast, but it feels like less of a hassle if there are fewer subjects sitting there looking at us. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LMD Posted October 29, 2015 Share Posted October 29, 2015 We watch our coursera course video over breakfast! I can enjoy a coffee in relative quiet and feel smug about fitting in science! ;) 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted October 29, 2015 Share Posted October 29, 2015 I'd sit with her a bit more if you can. Is she not ultimately getting the stuff done? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiramisu Posted October 29, 2015 Share Posted October 29, 2015 My oldest was hard to get up in the morning, and it wasn't a character/obedience thing. We wound up at a sleep doctor for other reasons. He did his tests and he diagnosed her with something like delayed-sleep phase disorder. He really felt we should take advantage of homeschooling and let her sleep a bit later. Once I got that permission, I let her sleep in without guilt, and life got much better. I realized if I let her sleep, when she got going, we were both happier and her work got done. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted October 29, 2015 Share Posted October 29, 2015 Yeah one of mine does better if he doesn't start too early. I see no point in forcing an 8 am start if he can't function quite right. I realize sometimes we don't always have that luxury, but we do, so why not make use of it? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Governess Posted October 29, 2015 Share Posted October 29, 2015 We have a start time, and if the kids are dawdling over breakfast/getting ready, we just start anyway... even if they are still eating. If they aren't ready for the day on time, they'll have to use their break/lunch time to finish whatever they didn't get to. The day goes on whether they are ready or not. We have a busy schedule most days and don't have the luxury of starting late. My kids do much better with lots of structure. The days when we have no where to be in the afternoon are the days that are most likely to include dawdling. On days when we have to be efficient in order to be done on time and out the door, they are much more on task. Also, my dd11 is taking a couple morning online classes this year and it has really helped her to be more productive in the mornings. She loves class and doesn't want to be late, so she is generally motivated to wake up and get going this year. It has helped so much to have a set start time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted October 29, 2015 Share Posted October 29, 2015 I guess I don't see the big deal. We all have different times of day that are more conducive than others. And those times may not be the most convenient. If it is that big of a deal to you, I would give her the option, of either start on time and create your own lunches, or start at 10 and lunches are a basic pb&j. Or do what you can before your afternoon activities and finish when you get home from them. If it wasn't for the eye appt my kids have today I would be at work right now and all 4 would still be asleep. We do all of our school work after 630pm once I am home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reefgazer Posted October 29, 2015 Share Posted October 29, 2015 I've got a procrastinator, which is a problem because schoolwork needs to be done by the time I leave for my night job (I work until 10 pm most evenings). So I say to the procrastinator, "Thing One, whatever you don't get done today gets transferred to Saturday on your day off". I'm mean that way, but it works fast. I have a child who will play, read books, day dream, sit on the toilet...and not start school till 10 o'clock. I would rather not be yelling and nagging. We use Accountable Kids system, but it doesn't really cover actually getting started on school, although we have tried. Technically she is not supposed to have any privileges until she finishes a "set" of cards (which includes some school), but other than reading, (which I have taken away as well), she will just in general take forever, and daydream while showering, having breakfast, etc. etc. So, in order to get my dd to start at a decent time, (which I think, now that daylight savings has happened and it's easier to get up early) is 8:30 ... Ideas? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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