Josh Duggar in the news yet again

[HRAAB]

I've known quite a few people who were cheated on when they were dating (myself included) but I can't think of any that were cheated on once they were married. Not that I know of, anyway. People seem to be much more hesitant to throw away an entire family, as opposed to just a boyfriend or girlfriend, for the sake of a fling.

 

Though I did have the husband of a friend come on to me once, so I guess that's one attempted instance of cheating by a married person that I know of.

 

I think there's a good chance the rate of cheating would be lower in homeschooling families, just because if you make the commitment to homeschool, you're probably pretty invested in the success of your family and would be less willing to risk it for some casual sex. That's just a guess on my part, though.

 

Yes, I was just talking about married couples.  Those numbers would be quite different if I considered dating couples.

[Tanaqui]

I was hoping it was identity theft, except what kind of person doesn't notice for two years? And then who would have had their identity stolen for two different addresses like that?

 

Lots of people, actually. Not that I think that it's identity theft in THIS case (the timing is too perfect), but a good deal of identity theft goes uncaught for a long time. When people are in a hole, they don't open up bills they can't pay, so they don't see that they have weird expenses.

 

I'm enjoying all this public humiliation he and his family are going through.

 

Several of his family members were already victims, others are still minors. Few of them have had many meaningful choices in their lives.

 

I feel schadenfreude towards the Duggar parents, but ultimately, all their children are victims of poor parenting and membership in what is effectively a cult. (This does not excuse Josh's reprehensible behavior towards his sisters, nor his cheating on his wife.)

 

[HRAAB]

Won't quote content, but you're not the only one! lol

 

 

 

Nobody who knows me irl knows my husband made one bad decision early in our marriage. And very few people knew my dad also made one such bad decision in his marriage (they were married 24 years before divorcing for other reasons). Many couples work it out between themselves, and more partners than you might expect are willing to forgive and offer a second chance. In these instances, people don't talk about it.

 

On the other hand, I know a lady who will say she divorced because her husband was too busy working and didn't care about her, but in actual fact she cheated on him and tore their family apart. I know a couple who divorced because 'he works too far away and I barely know him anymore' but, he actually cheated and she's hiding it from the kids. 

 

I think cheating is much more common than people want to believe. 

 

It's not so much not wanting to believe.  It's just that I realized I only know of three marriages where it happened.  If it's happened in other marriages, they've reconciled and are keeping it private, and of course I would have no knowledge.  I can see among my friends/family where it wouldn't be something people would be willing to talk about, even to good friends/family members.

[abba12]

It's not so much not wanting to believe.  It's just that I realized I only know of three marriages where it happened.  If it's happened in other marriages, they've reconciled and are keeping it private, and of course I would have no knowledge.  I can see among my friends/family where it wouldn't be something people would be willing to talk about, even to good friends/family members.

 

Oh, it wasn't a personal comment. In your situation obviously you are either around some great people or some people who have reconciled quietly. My comment was more that society in general doesn't want to believe it happens as much as it does. It's treated as this crazy thing only the scum of the earth do, when it's unfortunately too common. 

[Arcadia]

Yes, I was just talking about married couples. Those numbers would be quite different if I considered dating couples.

My cousin had children with his employee before divorcing his wife. My brother's internship boss had children with an employee too while married. Two married staff in my ex-company were having an affair, the wife found out and came to the office. My ex-classmate's dad had many affairs with his fraud victims claiming to be a single. He ended up being jailed for fraud.

 

As a lawyer girlfriend said, divorce lawyers make the best money in her firm and would never be jobless :(

[Guest]

How did you get that from what I said? I was pointing out that hundreds of thousands of other families are in the same position and might not even realize it. Thus, check the databases.

 

I think it's too easy for women to be blindsided by cheating. My heart breaks for them. I could care less about Josh. He can hang to dry, whatever. His family is who I am concerned about. And his isn't the only one that could be affected by this. There are cheating wives and husbands across the country and I consider this as good a PSA as any for one to check their own spouse. Maybe I'm being paranoid, but it can happen to anyone.

 

Like I said. I used to be more optimistic on this.

Because you said "the breech affected thousands of families" who were "blindsided". It sounds like you are sorry the cheating was revealed.

 

I completely believe that it can happen in any marriage; I have never been one to say, "oh, no, that would never happen here! dH would never do that!" BUT I do believe it is *highly* improbable my DH is having any affair at this time, least probably of all through a site like AM. He is not savy with on-line stuff. He would also have to maintain a secret credit card. I would expect he would be more protective of his phone or his iPad, rather than leave them all over.

 

I just generally don't go looking for lies if I have no reason to believe there are lies. The same thing could be said about the behaviour of my teens. They might do things I don't approve of; they might cover their tracks and be great deceivers. But, so far, this hasn't been a problem. Red flags have not waved, so I don't rifle through their rooms looking for evidence, KWIM?

[Mimm]

I think it is sad that a lot of you have nothing better to do that be judgmental of an ENTIRE family because one member seems to have issues.  I'm sorry and you may not believe me, but this could happen in ANY family.  You are all just pleased that it was the Duggar family so you'd have yet again another reason to dislike them.  It's too bad you don't have better things to do with your time. :thumbdown:

 

Oh I judged them way before Josh Duggar's little "mistake" went public. :) I might have better things to do with my time, but I'm a good multitasker.

[LucyStoner]

Oh, it wasn't a personal comment. In your situation obviously you are either around some great people or some people who have reconciled quietly. My comment was more that society in general doesn't want to believe it happens as much as it does. It's treated as this crazy thing only the scum of the earth do, when it's unfortunately too common.

I haven't seen this attitude too much in my community. I think people get that a lot of people have extramarital affairs and divorce. I also don't demonize people who do. Humans do human things and make mistakes. My father had an affair, my MIL and FIL both had an affair. They aren't perfect people but they aren't scum of the earth either.

[Lang Syne Boardie]

I think it's useful in life to consider the lessons we should take from current events.

 

If I hear that Josh Duggar is a card carrying, dues paying member of a hookup site, I do not think the takeaway is, "Oh, hey, my husband might be doing that, too. Lots of men cheat. I wonder if my husband is cheating."

 

I think the takeaways are more along the lines of, "Perverts gonna pervert." "When people tell you who they are, believe them." And even further, "History has shown us that those who are most invested in persecuting others for sexual immorality are most likely to be guilty of it themselves, so maybe don't glorify (or give the political reins to) people with that sort of agenda."

 

The first thing, about people considering their own marriages, is so not the point. Even if my husband were a filthy philanderer who had molested children as a teen (assuming that I'd marry or stay with such a man, which I wouldn't), he has no power to hurt anyone but his own family, and his sins would lose him everything he values in life. Josh Duggar was empowered in a big way, and we need to notice who did that.

 

 

[abba12]

I haven't seen this attitude too much in my community. I think people get that a lot of people have extramarital affairs and divorce. I also don't demonize people who do. Humans do human things and make mistakes. My father had an affair, my MIL and FIL both had an affair. They aren't perfect people but they aren't scum of the earth either.

 

That's wonderful. Apparently I am the only one who thinks society is trying to ignore the issue of affairs. I continually hear advice about how, if a partner cheats once that's it, there should be no second chances, not seeming to realize that if people actually adhered to that idea there would be a LOT less marriages. of course, plenty of people manage to never cheat, but plenty of people do as well, so advice which says a man who cheats doesn't care about you, leave him immediately strikes me as a very judgemental 'only scumbags do this' mentality.

[liber]

I think if people wanted to access the names they would have to go on the dark web using a tor browser to do so. I don't think this info is on the regular internet. Of course I haven't looked so I don't know for sure.

[FaithManor]

 

 

The thing that scares me about sites like these is that while they appear to pander to consenting adults, I suspect they could be fronts for providing sex slaves and delivering children to pervs. A few key special words and phrases in sequence, and presto the member is hooked up with a sex trafficker. Man I hope the police and FBI have been on there investigating.

[LucyStoner]

That's wonderful. Apparently I am the only one who thinks society is trying to ignore the issue of affairs. I continually hear advice about how, if a partner cheats once that's it, there should be no second chances, not seeming to realize that if people actually adhered to that idea there would be a LOT less marriages. of course, plenty of people manage to never cheat, but plenty of people do as well, so advice which says a man who cheats doesn't care about you, leave him immediately strikes me as a very judgemental 'only scumbags do this' mentality.

 

I don't deny that idea is out there but IME it's usually people who don't have a lot of first hand experience or have had loved ones affected by infidelity who think this way.  

 

Not infidelity, but I stayed in my marriage and we fixed things after something a lot of people would consider a deal breaker and say they would no question divorce over. We were (are) in love.  I take my commitments very seriously and he took changing his behavior very seriously. 

[KungFuPanda]

 

I think there's a good chance the rate of cheating would be lower in homeschooling families, just because if you make the commitment to homeschool, you're probably pretty invested in the success of your family and would be less willing to risk it for some casual sex. That's just a guess on my part, though.

I doubt that this is remotely true.

[Tanaqui]

The thing that scares me about sites like these is that while they appear to pander to consenting adults, I suspect they could be fronts for providing sex slaves and delivering children to pervs. A few key special words and phrases in sequence, and presto the member is hooked up with a sex trafficker. Man I hope the police and FBI have been on there investigating.

 

Perhaps, but then, so could ANY site.

[abba12]

I think if people wanted to access the names they would have to go on the dark web using a tor browser to do so. I don't think this info is on the regular internet. Of course I haven't looked so I don't know for sure.

 

http://www.trustify.info/check- you can check it here.  There's a couple of other sites which were offering the list, but Ashley Madison is working to shut them down quickly. The list itself can also be downloaded on the internet now I believe, through torrents, though it is still hosted on the Tor network

[KungFuPanda]

The thing that scares me about sites like these is that while they appear to pander to consenting adults, I suspect they could be fronts for providing sex slaves and delivering children to pervs. A few key special words and phrases in sequence, and presto the member is hooked up with a sex trafficker. Man I hope the police and FBI have been on there investigating.

While I'm sure that scenario is possible, I'm equally sure that there are enough consenting adults out there to keep sites like this thriving without ever HAVING to take on the liability of illegal activities.

[Mergath]

I doubt that this is remotely true.

 

You don't think people who are very committed to their families and their children are less likely to have affairs?

[SproutMamaK]

If you guys haven't seen... it appears he also had a profile (with a fake picture) on OKCupid. He had some, er... "interesting" answers to questions in his profile. Among them:

 

Do you feel there are any circumstances in which a person is obligated to have sex with you? Yes

Have you been faithful in all your past relationships? No

Do you think it’s possible for someone to be an Atheist and still have a solid framework by which to live? No

How do you feel about government subsidized food programs (free lunch, food stamps, etc.)? Never - Get a job

The idea of gay and lesbian couples having children is? Unacceptable

Would you need to sleep with someone before you considered marrying them?  Yes

Which of these options most closely describes what you’re looking for in your next relationship? someone for tonight

 

Link

[Scarlett]

I think if people wanted to access the names they would have to go on the dark web using a tor browser to do so. I don't think this info is on the regular internet. Of course I haven't looked so I don't know for sure.

The information is out there. No need to travel to the dark web.

[KungFuPanda]

You don't think people who are very committed to their families and their children are less likely to have affairs?

I don't think your educational choices are any sort of indicator that you can maintain a marriage any better than the next guy.

[Mergath]

If you guys haven't seen... it appears he also had a profile (with a fake picture) on OKCupid. He had some, er... "interesting" answers to questions in his profile. Among them:

 

Do you feel there are any circumstances in which a person is obligated to have sex with you? Yes

Have you been faithful in all your past relationships? No

Do you think it’s possible for someone to be an Atheist and still have a solid framework by which to live? No

How do you feel about government subsidized food programs (free lunch, food stamps, etc.)? Never - Get a job

The idea of gay and lesbian couples having children is? Unacceptable

Would you need to sleep with someone before you considered marrying them?  Yes

Which of these options most closely describes what you’re looking for in your next relationship? someone for tonight

 

Link

 

Yeah, he certainly failed all the "weed out the douchebags" questions, didn't he?

[LucyStoner]

I think if people wanted to access the names they would have to go on the dark web using a tor browser to do so. I don't think this info is on the regular internet. Of course I haven't looked so I don't know for sure.

Or, just follow the links in this Washington Post article.

 

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-intersect/wp/2015/08/19/how-to-see-if-you-or-your-spouse-appear-in-the-ashley-madison-leak/

[Mergath]

I don't think your educational choices are any sort of indicator that you can maintain a marriage any better than the next guy.

 

I don't think there's a huge difference, but in general, you have to be fairly committed to your family to run with the idea of homeschooling. Or maybe I'm naive and overly optimistic. :P 

[albeto.]

I could care less about the hypocrisy, honestly. At this point he has already trashed his credibility beyond repair.

 

I can't fathom this. The hypocrisy is the *only* thing that makes this news. The guy profited from stirring up fear and encouraging foaming at the mouth with regard to the LGBTQ community, even when that person is one's own child. He's a liar and a charlatan of the worst kind - he offers emotional and spiritual security by selling a service that he can't even begin to deliver, and turns around to spend that profit doing the exact thing he falsely accuses others of doing. If he and his ilk could be arrested for inciting hatred against a community innocent of crimes they are systematically and unjustly accused of, I'd totally support that because it's not just hypocrisy, it's hypocrisy plus oppression. 

 

I think it's too easy for women to be blindsided by cheating. My heart breaks for them. I could care less about Josh. He can hang to dry, whatever. His family is who I am concerned about. And his isn't the only one that could be affected by this. There are cheating wives and husbands across the country and I consider this as good a PSA as any for one to check their own spouse. Maybe I'm being paranoid, but it can happen to anyone.

 

Like I said. I used to be more optimistic on this.

 

Does your heart not break for the families who couldn't adopt children because of Duggar and his road show of hate and paranoia? Does it break for the people who grew up being told they were abominations because Duggar encouraged their parents to hold fast to that belief despite the reality their children were no different after coming out of the closet than before? Does it break for people who are denied basic civil rights because Duggar and his ilk pump millions of dollars into lobbying to promote and secure homophobic public policy in whatever way they can? 

 

The hypocrisy is that Josh-the-sex-creep was created to be a pawn in a disgusting game that serves the egos of few men who are charismatic and clever enough to convince gullible, desperate, and frightened people, and he turned around and helped create more, all the while pointing his finger at a group of innocent, and already marginalized people. He did this for a juicy paycheck and secure ego. All these promises are built on lies and deception, and that affects more than his family. It affects so, so many families, even those whose husbands won't be found on this list. His is the face of this spiritual ponzi scheme. Or I should say, the latest face. 

 

I think the lesson in this isn't to search one's husband's computer history, it's to check and make sure one isn't willfully being a cog in this hateful, hurtful machine. Sexual repression creates sexual deviancy, and that hurts innocent people. Infidelity is always a risk, but that risk is directly increased when one subscribes to the very religious, patriarchal, repressive ideologies Josh Duggar capitalized on promoting. One need not be a member of ATI, or even identify as a fundamentalist xian to incorporate these beliefs and practices, and teach them to their children. That's what people should be checking on.

 

 

ETA: I don't mean to pick on you, AM. I'm replying to your post because it articulates certain sentiments and misses what I think is the bigger, more important issue. 

 

Your sympathies for Anna as a person betrayed is commendable. I hope your sympathy extends to the [countless] other victims of Duggar's actions, not just his extramarital stuff. She and her kids aren't the only ones who have suffered from Duggar's work. And there are just so many families who think they are doing the right thing, but are in reality setting up very similar circumstances, the circumstances that directly contribute to confusion, guilt, repression, anger, self-loathing, and hatred. 

[redsquirrel]

You don't think people who are very committed to their families and their children are less likely to have affairs?

 

I think that plenty of people who consider themselves to be totally committed to their children and even be good partners can have affairs.

 

And I have seen affairs rock several homeschool families in this town. In one case it was two moms who were having the affair.

 

I have also seen some pretty lousy husbands in my homeschool community. Not abusive, though I know of those as well, I just mean men who are asshats and I wouldn't give them the time of day, much less reproduce with them. One of them absolutely was checking me out on a regular basis. Shudder.....

[Arcadia]

I don't think there's a huge difference, but in general, you have to be fairly committed to your family to run with the idea of homeschooling. Or maybe I'm naive and overly optimistic. :P

There was a recent thread on a boardie facing infidelity and divorce. Hopefully that thread is already deleted and the person managed to get good legal counsel.

 

ETA:

It could be worse if the mom is a sahm and feels financially trapped.

[Mimm]

I don't think Mergath is saying it never happens, just maybe less often? I get the reasoning behind saying that, but I don't know if it's actually true. I think people fail to live up to their own ideals all the time.

 

I personally know people with all kinds of families and educational choices with bad marriages. My own parents were homeschooling parents and my father cheated and my parents are divorced.

[KungFuPanda]

I don't think there's a huge difference, but in general, you have to be fairly committed to your family to run with the idea of homeschooling. Or maybe I'm naive and overly optimistic. :P

I think you are. You have to have a very hands-on approach to child-rearing to homeschool, but that doesn't give your marriage any extra protection. I'm willing to bet the rate of divorce among homeschoolers is no different than society's in general. If there is a lower divorce rate, I'm guessing the numbers are skewed because those kids are more likely to return to school and therefore not be counted as homeschoolers any longer. Most people can hold it together for a decade at least. It's after that that you see more cracks. Ten year anniversaries are plentiful. At twenty years it can sometimes feel like Survivor: Marriage Edition.

[zoobie]

I don't think there's a huge difference, but in general, you have to be fairly committed to your family to run with the idea of homeschooling. Or maybe I'm naive and overly optimistic. :P

Well, the Duggars are homeschoolers... :P

[mommymilkies]

In my entire adult life I've known of two marriages that ended in divorce because of infidelity and one marriage where they separated because of cheating  but are now back together.  That's three total.  I really don't know of any others.  Obviously there could be marriages where they are hiding it.  I just don't know of many people who have gone through this in my circle of friends and family.  Definitely not enough that I would be thinking women (and men) on this board ought to be checking to see if their spouses have accounts on ....whatever... it's called.  

 

Do I live in some alternate reality?  Now I'm beginning to wonder how many friends/family members have cheated or been cheated on.  I know it happens, you hear about it all the time.  But I don't know it from personal experience.

It's possible!  :lol: I know of far more affairs than I know of marriages that last more than 10 years.  Some of these very close to me. :/  Statistics seem to back it up as way higher than you'd ever hope.  

 

And yeah, no need to check on my hubby.  If he has the funds to join that site, he must be magical because I run the finances and our budget is so tight that there's no room for an extra pop at a restaurant, let alone dropping cash on a hook up site.   :svengo:

[JustEm]

Hmm i know many marriages that ended because of cheating. Dh's first wife cheated on his and then wanted out of the marriage, my uncle cheated on my aunt and then married his mistress, dh's best friend cheated on his wife, I'm pretty sure my fil cheated on my mil before they separated, a close friend had both of his previous wives cheat on him, and that is just in my immediate group. I know of many more cases of infidelity in my network of acquaintances. Most ended in divorce. Oh and then there are the cases where I'm almost positive cheating is going on but the other party doesn't want to burst their bubble so they just put up with it.

[Audrey]

I think it is sad that a lot of you have nothing better to do that be judgmental of an ENTIRE family because one member seems to have issues.  I'm sorry and you may not believe me, but this could happen in ANY family.  You are all just pleased that it was the Duggar family so you'd have yet again another reason to dislike them.  It's too bad you don't have better things to do with your time. :thumbdown:

 

 

Oh come on now.  I've got nothing against the minor children, nor the grown girls.  I pity them for having been raised by reprehensible slimeballs who pimped them out to the public on a sleazy network and have been living off the proceeds.  It'll be tough, but they'll learn to live like normal people -- or as normal as their cult-programmed minds can accomplish.  

 

I *am* very, very glad the parents were exposed for being the enabling, clueless, manipulative, lying, greedy, egomaniacal cult-fetish control freaks that they are.  I also glad that their smug, self-absorbed, hate-mongering pervert oldest adult son has been exposed for what he truly is, too.  

 

And, whether I may or may not have better things to do with my time, there's always time in the day for a good laugh.  The Decline and Fall of the Duggar Empire is comedy gold any day of the week. 

[gardenmom5]

Oh come on now.  I've got nothing against the minor children, nor the grown girls.  I pity them for having been raised by reprehensible slimeballs who pimped them out to the public on a sleazy network and have been living off the proceeds.  It'll be tough, but they'll learn to live like normal people -- or as normal as their cult-programmed minds can accomplish.  

 

I *am* very, very glad the parents were exposed for being the enabling, clueless, manipulative, lying, greedy, egomaniacal cult-fetish control freaks that they are.  I also glad that their smug, self-absorbed, hate-mongering pervert oldest adult son has been exposed for what he truly is, too.  

 

And, whether I may or may not have better things to do with my time, there's always time in the day for a good laugh.  The Decline and Fall of the Duggar Empire is comedy gold any day of the week. 

 

while I *really* hope they drag ati/gothard/pearl's etc down with them (and I'm disgusted they've hurt Christians in general by association) - I don't consider it comedy, of the gold or any other variety.  most of the children are innocent pawns/victims (especially the youngers) and I feel sorry for them.  It might have been funny - if they weren't ensnaring innocents in their machinations.  I feel nothing but disgust for JB and M.

[kubiac]

Free Jinger and Johannah and Jackson and, man, what a disaster.

[Crimson Wife]

 

While I am far from a Duggar fan, and blame lies with the individual, I have to wonder if this is a child-man who never got the love and attention he needed, and then was railroaded into a marriage to a woman he'd met three times as a way to "cure" his(normal) s*xual desires.

 

Molesting your SISTERS including a 5 y.o. proves that Josh does NOT have normal s*xual desires. If the only victim had been that teenage Bates girl he was courting, then maybe you'd have a point (still creepy and unacceptable to do it while she was sleeping, though).

[SKL]

Yeah, I know lots of people who have cheated while married.  I've been hit on by a number of married guys - and believe me, I am NOT that hot.  :p  I know people whose biological father was a friend of the guy their mom was/is married to.  And I don't even get around that much.

 

And the vast majority of these people put on a facade of being good husbands; and most of them are anti alternative sex partnerships (even though some of them do that stuff secretly themselves).  And no, this certainly is not a Conservative / Republican thing.  Talk about hypocrisy.

[Audrey]

Molesting your SISTERS including a 5 y.o. proves that Josh does NOT have normal s*xual desires. If the only victim had been that teenage Bates girl he was courting, then maybe you'd have a point (still creepy and unacceptable to do it while she was sleeping, though).

 

:iagree:  

[Jane in NC]

I am so naive.  It never occurred to me that websites like Ashley Madison even exist because this sort of thing is so off my radar.  Frankly I think all of the users are idiots if they thought the information would remain private--but then my husband works in cyber security.

 

Agreeing with those who suggest that those who bleat sanctimoniously and loudly are often wolves in sheeps' clothing. 

 

Ugh.

[gardenmom5]

Molesting your SISTERS including a 5 y.o. proves that Josh does NOT have normal s*xual desires. If the only victim had been that teenage Bates girl he was courting, then maybe you'd have a point (still creepy and unacceptable to do it while she was sleeping, though).

 

I think she was referring to how ati/gothard/pearl's view such behavior. (pushing him to get married would certainly fits their views.).  not how the rest of society sees it.

[ktgrok]

Ugh. That's the dating site I met my husband on!  There were certainly some weirdos on there, he should fit right in. (will never forget the first date I went on where the guy YELLED at me because I wouldn't go back to his apartment and put out. On the first date. Or the guy that messaged me wanting to worship my feet. )

 

But seriously, it does squick me out that he is not only tainting my religion but the dating website I used. Go mess up your own stuff, buddy. 

If you guys haven't seen... it appears he also had a profile (with a fake picture) on OKCupid. He had some, er... "interesting" answers to questions in his profile. Among them:

 

Do you feel there are any circumstances in which a person is obligated to have sex with you? Yes

Have you been faithful in all your past relationships? No

Do you think it’s possible for someone to be an Atheist and still have a solid framework by which to live? No

How do you feel about government subsidized food programs (free lunch, food stamps, etc.)? Never - Get a job

The idea of gay and lesbian couples having children is? Unacceptable

Would you need to sleep with someone before you considered marrying them?  Yes

Which of these options most closely describes what you’re looking for in your next relationship? someone for tonight

 

Link

 

[ktgrok]

I am so naive.  It never occurred to me that websites like Ashley Madison even exist because this sort of thing is so off my radar.  Frankly I think all of the users are idiots if they thought the information would remain private--but then my husband works in cyber security.

 

Agreeing with those who suggest that those who bleat sanctimoniously and loudly are often wolves in sheeps' clothing. 

 

Ugh.

 

My husband does cyber security as well, and yeah. The number of people that use their corporate emails and such for this stuff is mind boggling. 

[gardenmom5]

Yeah, he certainly failed all the "weed out the douchebags" questions, didn't he?

 

he also failed at some of the biggest "are you living a Christian life" questions.

 

 

 

Have you been faithful in all your past relationships? No

Would you need to sleep with someone before you considered marrying them?  Yes

 

just - wow.  so, is he saying he slept with anna before they got married? or he wishes he had?

[gardenmom5]

Anna was raised the Gothard way.  She bought in, 100%.  All she wanted was her Prince Charming and a lot of kids.  And now what does she have?

 

hopefully enough of a reality check to use as a bridge to escape the gothard brainwashing.

[ktgrok]

You know, the only reality show I'd be okay with after this scandal is one about Anna making it on her own. That I'd watch, just to give her a means of support while she maybe goes back to school or something. 

[kimberlapoderosa]

You can never tell what is going on inside someone's marriage.  I thought my brother and his wife had the perfect family.  Her parents are pastors at their church and they spent a lot of time doing church activities with their kids.  They took their kids bowling, my brother coached little league, and they did scouts.  My sil even worked at the boys school.  They really seemed to have it all.  Then came the day my brother went home and found my sil in bed with her second cousin.  Turns out he wasn't the only other man she was sleeping with.  You could have knocked me over with a feather!  She was the most "Christian" woman I knew. Twenty years of marriage down the toilet.  It was humiliating for my brother and his boys.  They live in a small town and everyone knew.  She moved out and my brother is now raising his kids on his own.  

 

I really wonder if the cheating happened because she felt pressured to be so perfect.   

 

As for Josh and Anna...well I wonder if her own family would take her in if she left him.  Do they allow that sort of thing?

[SproutMamaK]

I would love to see an insider's report on how Gothard/ATI approaches counselling after infidelity, similar to the information that was leaked on how they counsel after sexual assault/molestation. Since cheating would (I hope) be even more common, it might be even more well-known. Has anything come up on any of the anti-ATI sites about it?

[Scarlett]

Ugh. That's the dating site I met my husband on! There were certainly some weirdos on there, he should fit right in. (will never forget the first date I went on where the guy YELLED at me because I wouldn't go back to his apartment and put out. On the first date. Or the guy that messaged me wanting to worship my feet. )

 

But seriously, it does squick me out that he is not only tainting my religion but the dating website I used. Go mess up your own stuff, buddy.

I thought you were saying you met your husband on AM! Yikes!

 

But doesn't that profile you quoted sound made up?

[FaithManor]

 

 

As for Josh and Anna...well I wonder if her own family would take her in if she left him. Do they allow that sort of thing?

In Gothard's cult, all sexual sin on the part of males is laid at the feet of the female. Even rape victims are told to repent of their sin for their role in being raped (ie. you tempted him you little harlot you), and ask your rapist's forgiveness for tempting him to sin, then thank God for being raped because it should cause a change of heart and draw the victim closer to God. Not joking! It is in their sexual abuse counseling materials. Parents are not encouraged to allow their wayward daughters home because they could corrupt their younger siblings and should also honor God by trying harder to be better wives so their husbands will not wander. This is why Chelledumb gets all preachy at the engaged girls about being available for sex 24/7 to their husbands and talks about being ready to drop everything for Jimboob when the urge comes over him. I suspect that JB is a sex addict because in all of these years, except for during Gothard's prescribed periods of abstinence "to increase fertility", he has had what amounts to an on demand sex slave. And no, in Gothard's world waiting six weeks after a baby is born is not an excuse either. If he wants it before then, he gets it, period. In Gothard world, "I do" means consent to whatever he wants to do to her.

 

So I would guess that unless this shakes her parents up enough that they are willing to leave the cult, she can not count on her parents to support her.

[MBM]

I don't care much about the Duggars but how accurate is the information that's been released? Couldn't someone use another person's name and email? I found this from Wired magazine:

 

It’s important to note that Ashley Madison’s sign-up process does not require verification of an email address to set up an account, so legitimate addresses might have been hijacked and used by some members of the site. One email in the data dump, for example, appears to belong to former UK Prime Minister (Tony Blair).

 

 

 

http://www.wired.com/2015/08/happened-hackers-posted-stolen-ashley-madison-data/