Another would you let your child do this -- spend the night in a medical facility without you?

[Daria]

My 16 year old son needs a sleep study and a follow up test called a "Multiple Sleep Latency Test" which will happen the next day. In all he'll be at the sleep center for about 20 hours. Neither test is invasive, they just attach a bunch of electrodes and he goes to sleep.  Scheduling the tests has been tricky, so I've talked to about 6 places about having it done.  The first 5 made very sure that I knew that since he was a minor, I would need to be present throughout the test.  Several of them told me they don't provide beds for parents, but I could have a chair to sit in.   The place I finally scheduled, though, said I could have a bed in a separate room, or I could check him in and leave.  I could also stay over night and leave in the morning.  I don't need to pick him up the next day, he can check himself out and hop on the subway when he's ready to come home.  Basically, whatever I want to do is fine with them.

 

Leaving him there is tempting, because otherwise I'll need to kennel the dog, and cancel a work meeting the next day.  To be honest, I can't really think of a reason why I should stay, but it seems odd because I'm just used to being there when he has a procedure.  He does take himself to the psychologist and to the allergist to shots by himself, but those are both very familiar places with people I know and trust.  Also, those appointments don't last 20 hours.  

 

 

[marbel]

I'd say it depends on your son and how he feels about it.  

 

My son had that sleep study.  I was required to stay in the room. There was no bed, just a chair.  It was so uncomfortable.  My son slept great, but I slept hardly at all.   No one came into the room while he was sleeping.  Oh, I just remembered that once lights were out, I couldn't get out of the chair because my movements might disturb him.  So I couldn't get up to use the toilet either.  It was a miserable night for me. 

 

Even if I could have left, though, at that time my son would not have wanted to be left alone.   But, that was him at that age.  So, what does your son think?

 

 

[Pawz4me]

At 16 if he's okay with it then I wouldn't think a thing about letting him go alone.

[Daria]

I'd say it depends on your son and how he feels about it.  

 

My son had that sleep study.  I was required to stay in the room. There was no bed, just a chair.  It was so uncomfortable.  My son slept great, but I slept hardly at all.   No one came into the room while he was sleeping.  Oh, I just remembered that once lights were out, I couldn't get out of the chair because my movements might disturb him.  So I couldn't get up to use the toilet either.  It was a miserable night for me. 

 

Even if I could have left, though, at that time my son would not have wanted to be left alone.   But, that was him at that age.  So, what does your son think?

 

I hear you, my son had a sleep study when he was about 10 months old, where they put him on a really high single bed with no railings.  So, I spent the entire night standing at his side, prepared to catch him.  This was at our local children's hospital, you'd think they would have cribs, but apparently not in the sleep lab.

 

Before that it probably wouldn't have occurred to me to ask, but after that experience I asked every place about their sleeping accommodations for parents.  This place told me I could have my own room and double bed, or go home.

 

My son's not home right now so I can't ask him.  If he wants me to stay I'll definitely stay.  Maybe I'll stay anyway, it will be like a little hotel vacation.  We'll see.

[J-rap]

If he's nervous and really wants you there, I'd stay.  If not, I'd go home and be back in the morning.

 

ETA:  I just read your post again, and I see that if he's comfortable, he could even just go home on the subway himself!  I know for certain that a couple of my kids would have wanted to do it that way, and I'm fine with that.  One of my kids would maybe want me to spend the night, or at least be there the next day to pick her up.  I'd say it's whatever he's comfortable with, as long as you are, too.

 

 

[marbel]

Yikes, what a horrible experience.  I'd have been crying if I'd had to stay up all night by the bed!  How crazy that they didn't have cribs for the babies.

[FO4UR]

It would completely depend upon his comfort level.

 

To answer the question, I've left a baby in the NICU overnight without me there.  I slept at the Ronald McDonald House and came back in the morning.  I was recovering from a nightmare of a c/s so I had to physically rest or I would be back in the hossy myself.  Yes, it killed me to leave.  Yes, I worried.  But, it was the smart thing to do.  She was in good hands, and I could be the mom I needed to be during the day.

[gardenmom5]

for a 16yo - depends upon the 16yo.

 

if it's a kid I consider competent to do everything that comes up (including possible glitches) and not stress - sure.

[Okra]

At 16, as long as he is fine with it, I'd leave him.  He doesn't need you there, he will be sleeping.  

 

And, it will make him feel more independent for the future.

[Daria]

for a 16yo - depends upon the 16yo.

 

if it's a kid I consider competent to do everything that comes up (including possible glitches) and not stress - sure.

 

I'm not sure I know what glitches could come up?  It's not like being in a hospital, they won't need to make any life or death decisions, and there's no risk that they'd over medicate him or something because it's a totally noninvasive procedure.  However, it's also not like being in a hospital in that it would be him and one tech alone in an office building.  I'm probably hyper aware of the dangers of adults alone with kids because I work in a school, but I won't even be alone in classroom with a student without the door open. 

 

Plus, he's 16 and I feel like we're 2 ships passing in the night sometimes because we have so little time together.  The idea of spending a day together, talking, and just being together, is kind of tempting, even if we do get interrupted every 2 hours because he has to take a nap. 

[marbel]

<snip>

 

Plus, he's 16 and I feel like we're 2 ships passing in the night sometimes because we have so little time together.  The idea of spending a day together, talking, and just being together, is kind of tempting, even if we do get interrupted every 2 hours because he has to take a nap. 

 

Well, I admit that part wasn't bad... or wouldn't have been if I had been so exhausted from my poor sleep!  :-)

 

[ErinE]

For a sleep study and a 16-year old, I wouldn't stay if the child was comfortable on his own.

 

But I absolutely would stay for any medically necessary hospital stay.

[Chris in VA]

I regret not staying with my then-14yo, but that was a hospital stay--much different, and much different circumstances.

 

I think I'd probably let him sleep there, if he's ok with it, but come just before he wakes in the am. I'd just feel more comfortable that way.

Or, if I could get a decent night's sleep there, then I'd stay--or if he says he wants you to.

[Daria]

I don't drive, and the sleep study place is about 2 hours away on public transportation.  So, if they have a bed for me, I'd rather stay then leave, travel home, sleep a few hours, and then travel back.  

 

I'll either stay and sleep there, or say goodbye and expect him to make his way home.  I also might stay and sleep and then go home midday since I have a client at 4:30 that I'd rather not reschedule.

[Guest]

At 16 if he's okay with it then I wouldn't think a thing about letting him go alone.

Yes, I'm surprised they'd make an issue of it! Any kid over about ten I'd leave overnight with medical staff. But my exposure is to things like cancer kids or those in long term care units where the family has no choice but to leave them for periods of time because of other children, travel, etc. I was almost entirely self sufficient at 16, I just can't imagine needing my parents there for any medical anything.

 

I could be weird, though.

[SparklyUnicorn]

I'd stay if my kid asked, but I'd have no worries about going in that case.

 

 

[SparklyUnicorn]

I hear you, my son had a sleep study when he was about 10 months old, where they put him on a really high single bed with no railings.  So, I spent the entire night standing at his side, prepared to catch him.  This was at our local children's hospital, you'd think they would have cribs, but apparently not in the sleep lab.

 

Before that it probably wouldn't have occurred to me to ask, but after that experience I asked every place about their sleeping accommodations for parents.  This place told me I could have my own room and double bed, or go home.

 

My son's not home right now so I can't ask him.  If he wants me to stay I'll definitely stay.  Maybe I'll stay anyway, it will be like a little hotel vacation.  We'll see.

 

That's quite bizarre.  My sister had her her adenoids removed and tubes put in her ears when she was 6 and they put her in a crib!

[Daria]

That's quite bizarre.  My sister had her her adenoids removed and tubes put in her ears when she was 6 and they put her in a crib!

 

It was particularly bizarre because it was a Children's hospital, and a huge percentage of the sleep studies they do in Children's hospitals are on babies to see if they're ready to come off apnea monitors.  So six months to 2 years is prime sleep study age.  

 

And, yes the hospital is full of cribs, but those are for the inpatient kids, and sleep studies are considered outpatient, even though you sleep there.  

[Daria]

Yes, I'm surprised they'd make an issue of it! Any kid over about ten I'd leave overnight with medical staff. But my exposure is to things like cancer kids or those in long term care units where the family has no choice but to leave them for periods of time because of other children, travel, etc. I was almost entirely self sufficient at 16, I just can't imagine needing my parents there for any medical anything.

 

I could be weird, though.

 

I've had enough bad experiences with my kid and doctors forgetting about medication allergies, or not paying attention to signs of pain, that I'd try really hard not to leave my kid in the hospital during a short term stay, even at 16.  But this test is totally non invasive, no meds or anything so I don't have that worry.  

 

Heck, when my mom fell and broke her pelvis a few years ago I tried to convince her to let me spend the night, because I felt like she needed someone alert and not doped up on painkillers to advocate for her.  

[luuknam]

I'd probably leave my almost 8yo alone overnight for a sleep study if he was cool with it and the center was cool with it. At 16yo, it wouldn't even cross my mind to stay with the kid I think (hospital stay is different). I sent my almost 8yo to overnight camp, so why not a sleep study?

[Reefgazer]

I would do what makes your DS most comfortable.

 

My 16 year old son needs a sleep study and a follow up test called a "Multiple Sleep Latency Test" which will happen the next day. In all he'll be at the sleep center for about 20 hours. Neither test is invasive, they just attach a bunch of electrodes and he goes to sleep. Scheduling the tests has been tricky, so I've talked to about 6 places about having it done. The first 5 made very sure that I knew that since he was a minor, I would need to be present throughout the test. Several of them told me they don't provide beds for parents, but I could have a chair to sit in. The place I finally scheduled, though, said I could have a bed in a separate room, or I could check him in and leave. I could also stay over night and leave in the morning. I don't need to pick him up the next day, he can check himself out and hop on the subway when he's ready to come home. Basically, whatever I want to do is fine with them.

 

Leaving him there is tempting, because otherwise I'll need to kennel the dog, and cancel a work meeting the next day. To be honest, I can't really think of a reason why I should stay, but it seems odd because I'm just used to being there when he has a procedure. He does take himself to the psychologist and to the allergist to shots by himself, but those are both very familiar places with people I know and trust. Also, those appointments don't last 20 hours.

[Daria]

I'd probably leave my almost 8yo alone overnight for a sleep study if he was cool with it and the center was cool with it. At 16yo, it wouldn't even cross my mind to stay with the kid I think (hospital stay is different). I sent my almost 8yo to overnight camp, so why not a sleep study?

 

Well, because presumably at overnight camp there are staff who chose to work with children as a profession, and who have background checks to work with children.  And presumably there are multiple people around, and layers of supervision.  

 

I wouldn't leave my 7 year old in a 1:1 situation with a total stranger without vetting that person in some way.  

 

The way I see it, if I'm being logical, is that this is pretty much like leaving him alone.  I've never left him alone over night, I've always made him sleep at a friend's or grandma's when I'm out of town.  But I've also never been out of town for just one night.  

 

I did just post on the "free range" thread that I usually just follow my gut, and for reasons I can't put my fingers on my gut is telling me to stay.  Which is a little odd considering I also just posted that I'm also considering letting him spend a month exploring Europe without an adult.    I can not tell you why my gut thinks he's safer across the ocean.  

[Joyofsixreboot]

If he's fine I'd leave him. Because of other kids needing me I left a 9 yo after an appendectomy and my 15 yo after extensive back surgery. My kids were fine with it.

[texasmama]

This depends completely on the kid and how he would handle it/feel about it.  Your son sounds pretty independent so I think he would likely do fine.  I have one who would need me there.  The other kids would likely not.  I think it would be just fine for you to leave him, and I am not a freerange mother.

 

If your gut tells you to stay, then I would not argue with that.  If you can't pinpoint why, then just stay.  It will be inconvenient but not the end of the world for you and maybe he will remember it fondly someday.  :)

[luuknam]

Well, because presumably at overnight camp there are staff who chose to work with children as a profession, and who have background checks to work with children.  And presumably there are multiple people around, and layers of supervision.  

 

I wouldn't leave my 7 year old in a 1:1 situation with a total stranger without vetting that person in some way.  

 

The way I see it, if I'm being logical, is that this is pretty much like leaving him alone.  I've never left him alone over night, I've always made him sleep at a friend's or grandma's when I'm out of town.  But I've also never been out of town for just one night.  

 

I did just post on the "free range" thread that I usually just follow my gut, and for reasons I can't put my fingers on my gut is telling me to stay.  Which is a little odd considering I also just posted that I'm also considering letting him spend a month exploring Europe without an adult.    I can not tell you why my gut thinks he's safer across the ocean.  

 

Well, no. It's leaving him alone with another adult. For a younger child (e.g. my 7yo) it would depend on my impression of the person etc. I'm by no means saying that I'd leave my son alone with just any random adult. I'm saying I might though if everything seems fine.

 

I'm having a difficult time seeing what the problem is with leaving a 16yo male alone in a sleep study though. 16yo males are presumably strong enough to not be easy targets, and old enough to know what to do if something were to happen. They're practically adults.

 

That said, I'm not going to argue with your gut instinct.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Sure.  My son had a sleep study without me.  I dropped him off in the evening.  I called the next morning to see when I should come pick him up.  They said "come on over" and so I did.  No big deal for either of us.  

 

PS. he was schedule for the longer test but his over night showed that he didn't need it.

 

It is not at all like "leaving him alone."  There is someone monitoring him by video the entire time and they tape it so the doctor can review it later.  

[Butter]

Unless he was especially anxious about being there without you, I'd have no problem leaving him there alone.

[catz]

If he's fine I'd leave him. Because of other kids needing me I left a 9 yo after an appendectomy and my 15 yo after extensive back surgery. My kids were fine with it.

 

I used to volunteer in a large children's hospital that drew kids from a WIDE area.  There are often kids without parents there.  Sometimes they had to work, sometimes they had siblings, sometimes their parents had to go pay bills.  And these were kids of all ages.  I would have no problem leaving a 16 year old overnight for a sleep study if they were fine with it.  I'd leave my current 14 year old for that matter and I think he'd be fine with it.

[BigMamaBird]

I would feel comfortable leaving a 16 year old who was comfortable being left.

[Joanne]

At 16? I would totally go home, sleep, and work.

[Orthodox6]

As the facility is two hours away, for economic reasons I would stay in whatever room is given to relatives. There likely is a "family lobby" with chairs and couches. I think I understood that you must get there by means of public transportation, which often is an awkward business.

[Garga]

Depends on the kid. At 16, I'd have been fine with my mom checking me in, waiting until I was in the room and falling asleep for the night. I wouldn't have wanted to have to talk to the staff there about insurance or things I couldn't really know the answers to. Otherwise, I'd have been fine.

[Jean in Newcastle]

For my son's appt.  all insurance, medical history etc. was handled prior to the actual overnight test.  I went in with him for his over night, walked down the hall with him to his room, met his main overnight nurse, made sure he understood the instructions and left.  (I think that all took perhaps ten minutes at the most.)  Ds said that it was boring more than anything.  

[Daria]

As the facility is two hours away, for economic reasons I would stay in whatever room is given to relatives. There likely is a "family lobby" with chairs and couches. I think I understood that you must get there by means of public transportation, which often is an awkward business.

 

No, they said that they'd have an empty room with a bed because they aren't full that night.  So, I'd be sleeping in the same kind of bed as he would be, just not all hooked up.  

 

Going home would make more sense economically.  Since I wouldn't have to pick him up, it would cost me the same to go home on Tuesday as it would on Wednesday, and I wouldn't have to pay for the dog to go to the kennel.

[Orthodox6]

Then just check him in for the sleep study, pay whatever up front fees required, and go home. If HE wants you to stay, then stay. I don't see this as an essential "must stay we though mom because it is a make or break maturity test." The European trip seems more in that vein!

[Orthodox6]

Cellphone typos. Can't edit well on this thing.

[foxbridgeacademy]

If it was me I'd probably stay or at least stay until he was asleep then check back in the next day to take him home.  

[Tap]

I have been through several sleep studies with my dd8.  Honestly, once the put on the electrodes and start the equipment, you are pretty much just supposed to lay down and go to sleep, so there really won't be much for you to do.  I don't think we were in the room for more than an hour before they sent her to bed. 

 

With all of dd8s, I had a couch to sleep on so I stayed in the room.  We have done overnights and daytime sleep studies for narcolepsy. For the daytime, one we did leave the hospital to go walk around for a while and get lunch etc.  

 

 

If it were dd16 and she was fine with me leaving.... I would just take her to the room, stay until they sent her to bed and then leave. 

[JFSinIL]

When my adult son had an overnight video-recorded EEG I HAD to stay in the room (but they had one of those comfy chairs that pulls out into a bed) but then again, ds is autistic and pretty non-verbal (his choice). 

 

If your son can get himself home, I'd say 16 is old enough to stay overnight by himself.   Sounds like he will be fine.

 

My 15-yr-old dd spent the night by herself after her gall bladder was removed. 

[Jean in Newcastle]

I would have titled this thread "would you let your teen do this. . . "    There is a big difference in my mind on how I handle things with teens and how they can handle things.  

[chocolatechip]

Unless he wanted you to stay, I'd have no qualms about leaving him there.

[Daria]

I have been through several sleep studies with my dd8.  Honestly, once the put on the electrodes and start the equipment, you are pretty much just supposed to lay down and go to sleep, so there really won't be much for you to do.  I don't think we were in the room for more than an hour before they sent her to bed. 

 

With all of dd8s, I had a couch to sleep on so I stayed in the room.  We have done overnights and daytime sleep studies for narcolepsy. For the daytime, one we did leave the hospital to go walk around for a while and get lunch etc.  

 

 

If it were dd16 and she was fine with me leaving.... I would just take her to the room, stay until they sent her to bed and then leave. 

 

Tap, can you tell me more about your experience with narcolepsy?  Did she end up having it or a different condition? I think that's what they're looking for during the daytime part of the testing, although the doctor didn't say so directly.  

 

Can you tell me what your daughter's symptoms were like and whether you found solution?

 

I'm happy to take this to PM if you'd rather protect your kid's privacy.  In fact, I'd probably rather do that.

[Daria]

So, I think I have a decision.

 

I'm going to proceed as if I'm staying.  I'll board the dog, and bring my stuff.  But I'll actually make a decision after I get there, it will probably depend on how comfortable he seems, and how tired I am by the time he's checked in.  Leaving would get me home around midnight, so if the bed looks comfortable, I might be tempted.  Also, I'm a little worried that just because the receptionist said I can leave, it's possible that the tech will say no, or they'll say I can leave but have to come back to pick him up, and if the dog isn't boarded then I'll be up a creek.  

 

 

[Jean in Newcastle]

Not Tap, but with my son the daytime testing was ruled out by the nighttime testing so he came home early.  Some daytime issues (like narcolepsy) are comorbid with the nighttime ones so since he didn't have the nighttime ones, the daytime ones were automatically ruled out.  If he had shown problems with the nighttime ones they would have continued the testing because it would have been possible that he had the daytime ones as well.  

[Daria]

Not Tap, but with my son the daytime testing was ruled out by the nighttime testing so he came home early.  Some daytime issues (like narcolepsy) are comorbid with the nighttime ones so since he didn't have the nighttime ones, the daytime ones were automatically ruled out.  If he had shown problems with the nighttime ones they would have continued the testing because it would have been possible that he had the daytime ones as well.  

 

I'm confused by this, because his neuro says it takes 5 days for them to upload all the information so that they can read the results.  So, how could they give you that information in time to make a decision about the daytime?  Was there a doctor there who could read the results, or did a tech make that call?

 

Can I ask what your son's symptoms were?

[Jean in Newcastle]

My son's symptoms were daytime sleepiness, dopiness (how's that as a medical symptom!) and ADD.  The sleep specialist said that the ADD stuff counted because a lot of executive function type problems are actually caused by sleep deprivation.  I'm not 100% sure on who made the determination but it was the doctor who called me to tell me that ds was being sent home so he at least was consulted.  In my son's case it was fairly cut and dried - there were no signs at all of apnea or other sleep problems.  I think if there had been even a bit of nighttime problems that the daytime testing would have proceeded.  

[Jean in Newcastle]

PS - I had a sleep study done at a different facility and with a different doctor.  In my case, they didn't get back to me until the week was up with the full results but did tell me right away that they found some indications of problems.  It's just that the breakdown of the problems and what to do about it etc.  took 5 days.  But this very much might be a YMMV type of situation since I would assume different facilities and different doctors might have different policies on this.  

[Daria]

Did you figure out a cause for the sleepiness and dopiness, or did they end up attributing them to the ADD?

 

[Daria]

I know we won't actually stop the test, because the neurologist/sleep specialist wants to see the results of both.  We're not doing it at the hospital where the neurologist works, since the price difference is huge at the freestanding center.  So, even if there's a doctor at the sleep center saying to go home, I'll probably insist that we stay. 

 

Which might be a reason to be there, because I can totally imagine my son walking out the door if they told him he could go without thinking "Hmmm, better call mom."  It's taken us a month to get this test scheduled, so I wouldn't be amused if we had to go back.  

[Jean in Newcastle]

You might just ask if there is ever a situation where they will tell someone to go home or will cancel the daytime part of the test.  If the answer is no, then it simplifies things.  I was told upfront that there was a chance that the second part would be canceled.

 

We ruled sleep problems out as one cause of his dopiness and ADD.  We work on his executive functioning skills (which are really getting better with age) and we're addressing some pretty severe allergies (which testing showed were really a problem) which cause dopiness and ADD type behavior as well.