Homeschooling in Suburbia in the Summer

[TheAttachedMama]

Hi Everyone,

 

We have to school year round for a number of reasons.  When I look at the business of our life, it is the only way I know of to make homeschooling work.  

 

However, every summer I suffer HORRIBLE guilt.   HORRIBLE.

 

My kids are stuck inside doing school while all of their friends are knocking on the door, laughing and shouting, having squirt gun battles, running through sprinklers and everything else.   We TRY to finish up by early afternoon.  (I would ideally like to be finished much earlier, but it takes us THAT long to get through the basics because a) I have a needy toddler who seems to do everything possible to interrupt school, b) I have two other school aged children who don't read very well and require a high level of teacher interaction.

 

Am I the only one who deals with these feelings of guilt?  

 

We aren't doing any more school than the typical kid.  Our school is just spread throughout the year.  I try to explain that to my kids, but it is hard for them to really see that.   They don't complain too much---but I FEEL terrible when they are stuck inside doing a spelling test while there friends are leaping through fields of daisies playing.  I know I'm doing the right thing in the long run, but it still stinks every summer.   Part of me wants to hide in our house and draw all of the blinds so they don't see everything they are 'missing'.

[Kerry Blue]

I do not know the ages of your kids, or how you have your school year planed out, but here was my first thought; could you rotate through your school kids and only work with one a day so the rest get a full day to play? I do not know if the concentrated one on one time with mom would make up for not doing school every day.

 

Is there a way to do school at another time during the day when there the kids are less likely to be out of doors? My family all heads inside around midday because of the heat in the middle of summer.

 

Another option (if you are not doing this already) is 'summer light' school. We are doing school here too, but I the number of subjects we cover everyday is a lot lower than 'normal' school.

[marbel]

I gave up on summer school when my kids were younger.  It just didn't work.  Everyone was frustrated.  

 

Could you do 3 intense days and have 2 days off?   I'm assuming M-F schooling, but would Saturday or Sunday be better days?

[Farrar]

From the way you describe it, it sounds like you put value on that idyllic summer play. In other words, I might re-evaluate. Can summer schooling be shorter, cut stuff, do less? Or could it be only two or three days a week? Or could you commit to schooling more in the year a little?

 

To me, one of the benefits of schooling in the summer is that the weather is icky most days and my kids don't have neighborhood friends knocking on their door. Not only that, but all our school and homeschool activities shut down and most of our homeschool friends are busy with uneven schedules. So getting school done makes sense. But maybe it doesn't for you.

[TheAttachedMama]

Well, I have one of the older kids play with/watch the toddler while I work one-on-one with the other.   (I have three kids.)   So if I sent one older child outside to play, I think it would make things even more hectic.  Plus, my older two are VERY close in age and have the same friends.  So I think it would cause more feelings of angst and jealousy if I were to send one outside.

 

And we are doing light school in the summer, but it takes us until 2PM most days to just get through light school.   This is mainly because my time is being worked in series....NOT in parallel.  

 

This year, all of my kids were sick SO much, so we missed a ton of school.   Then, towards the end of school, my toddler got really sick.   (I mean like 18 days in the ICU with pneumonia, sepsis, and kidney failure).   So we missed almost a month and half of school alone just with that.  My mom had both her knees replaced and she was living with us while I cared for her.  (That cut into school.)   I had to care for my grandma who also is having health issues.  (That cut into school.)     It was just a mess of a year.   My kids learned a lot of life lessons on compassion, which is great.   I don't take that for granted.  But I also owe them an education.   And honestly, I foresee my future years being just as busy and stressful.  So I feel like I really need to "make hay while the sun shines" so to speak. 

 

On top of all of that, my two older kids also have some learning disabilities, so they really NEED instructional time and remediation.   We are not the family who can say, "Oh, they are learning so much outside of school that we can just relax."  or "Oh, I can just get some library books and documentary videos and they will learn a ton."   No, they need remediation and lots of TLC in their schooling.

 

Gosh, I didn't mean this thread to be so whiny.   Please forgive me, I didn't mean to vent.       Reading back on this thread, I feel like I am talking myself OUT of homeschooling.   I've been persistently trying to make it work this year, but maybe it isn't going to be the best thing for my family situation.   I have been plagued by lots of self doubt this year as you can probably tell.   There were more times I felt like throwing in the towel than I can count. 

[TheAttachedMama]

I gave up on summer school when my kids were younger.  It just didn't work.  Everyone was frustrated.  

 

Could you do 3 intense days and have 2 days off?   I'm assuming M-F schooling, but would Saturday or Sunday be better days?

 

I've tried doing the Saturday and Sunday thing, but it is not realistic for our family.   DH tends to work long hours during the week, but he is home every weekend.   The kids are too distracted with him being home to get anything done.  The kids just want to spend time their dad, and I want them to enjoy the time with him too.

 

Plus, I need the weekend to do a lot of household stuff.   I meal plan, grocery shop, and meal prep.   I catch up on cleaning and laundry.   The kids have gymnastics one day.  Plus, we like to have a little R & R as a family so we can just be together. 

[wintermom]

It really sounds like YOU need a few weeks break. ((hugs))  I'd take a break and recharge my batteries, were I you. 

[Tanaqui]

You want them done by early afternoon. I have a few thoughts, and I don't know how helpful they are:

 

1. What about splitting the day up? Do half your work in the morning, then take a break until dinnertime and do the remaining work then?

 

2. What time do you start? Would it make sense to wake the older kids a little earlier in the morning so they can get some stuff out of the way before the toddler awakens?

 

3. Does the toddler take a nap still? Getting some stuff then seems like the obvious choice.

 

4. You said it takes a little longer to get work done because of the toddler, which is why every idea of mine revolves around that. Would it make sense to hire a high schooler to entertain the toddler while your kids work? Then you could be working one-on-one with one child, and the other two could either be doing the sort of work they can do without assistance or they could be outside playing.

 

5. Okay, so working on the weekends isn't going to work, and I assume Dad doesn't really want to do schoolwork with them either. All the same, could you perhaps take ONE day off a week, and maybe have them do an extremely light review on the weekend, the sort of thing they can do without any assistance that won't take more than a half an hour?

[lovinmyboys]

Do the neighborhood kids play in the afternoon? It seems like in our neighborhood the kids play from like 10-1, then they go inside during the heat of the day. Could you do school from 8-10 and then 1-3?

[MysteryJen]

I used to let the kids play outside In the morning when the weather was nice. Then, at lunch, when it was getting really hot, and the kids had quiet time (my sanity saver), I did school one on one as needed. It was usually enough time (since they had played) and if it went into dinner, oh well.

 

Here in our suburbia, the kids are out in the morning and in during the afternoon. And gone for activities in the evening.

[Tanaqui]

I DO NOT KNOW HOW THIS COMMENT GOT HERE INSTEAD OF THERE SORRY.

[Tsuga]

We do after schooling during summer. In the evenings, after dinner.

 

If you're working in parallel with the kids, could you do it like this:

 

• Math right after breakfast, as soon as you are done, go play
• Other subjects on rotation after lunch, as soon as you are done, go play
• Reading right after dinner (yes they are tired, oh well)

Maybe if there is an end in sight, they will slog through more quickly? Set the timer, whoever finishes early can go outside and play before the timer goes off.

 

Also, fix this:

 

" a) I have a needy toddler who seems to do everything possible to interrupt school,"

 

No, you have a full-time job educating two children with learning disabilities. Your family NEEDS to hire a mommy's helper to entertain that child twice a day after meals so you can teach.

 

There is a reason teachers, office workers, construction workers, and in short the entire working population is not bringing our children to work with us. I get that in some circumstances, homeschooling, it can work. But it doesn't sound like it's working in your family right now.

 

But if this is costing your kids their entire summer and making them unhappy about school, then you need to hire one of those neighborhood kids for a bit. If you cannot hire them for a split shift (one hour after each meal), then do it all before lunch, no exceptions, and hire someone for that. I really, really think this will be worth your money.

 

And what doesn't get done before lunch, doesn't get done. Period. Wake at 7:30, eat breakfast and review history at the table. Start school. 1 hour for math, 1 hour for English for each. You are running back and forth. It is a lot but without the baby you can do it. What's done is done, what's not is not. Save for tomorrow. Having kids set their own learning goals could help with that. Then you have one more hour for another subject.

 

Review topics at night with joint reading aloud.

[TheAttachedMama]

Do the neighborhood kids play in the afternoon? It seems like in our neighborhood the kids play from like 10-1, then they go inside during the heat of the day. Could you do school from 8-10 and then 1-3?

 

We live in a neighborhood with LOTS of little kids.   That is both a blessing and a curse sometimes.   The earliest we usually get a knock is from one little girl who is out playing at 9 or 10.  Then, their will be kids out playing until 9:30PM at nights!  That is another thing my kids DO complain about.   I make them go to sleep at 8PM when it is still light out.   They do complain about that!

 

So I know my guilt is a bit unreasonable.   If we finish by 2PM, they usually are out playing until 7PM or so.  That is 5 HOURS of free play a day.  That should be plenty.  But I hate hearing kids our playing while I am making them work.  I feel like that stereotypical homeschool mother making her child practice violin while everyone else plays.   (Except we don't play the violin, but you know what I mean.)   

 

I am so thankful that I have kids who don't complain about school, because that would really make me feel bad!

[Lang Syne Boardie]

It's possible to burn out on necessary things to the point that they aren't getting done, anyway. (BTDT, with parallel situations of getting behind in school due to major illness, etc.)

 

I think you really need to put away the books and let the kids out to enjoy the daisies, the sprinklers, the neighborhood friends as kids on summer break instead of in summer school.

 

Not for the whole summer. You have some serious work to do, and you know that your family doesn't do well without school structure. But what about just one month? What would you really accomplish in 20 days that would be such a game changer that you couldn't miss it?

 

Take off the entire month of July and have a real summer break. Start back on the first Monday in August. That's my advice. It's also what I'm doing, even though my kids didn't get everything finished last year while their brother was in the hospital.

[daijobu]

I can't offer much help, but I'd like to say it sounds like you live in an awesome neighborhood.  

[KrissiK]

We don't really do summer school. However, the kids are finishing up things they didn't get done during the year. dS1 has Latin, DS2 has Latin, reading and math and DD has history. We do work right after lunch. It is hotter than Hades here and the kids play in the morning with their friends. Then, when it's too hot to play, we do school!

[HS Mom in NC]

We homeschooled during the summer with the older kids when there weren't neighbor kids to play with but there were regular meet ups of homeschooled kids that worked with our schedule a few times a week. When we schooled in the summer it was so we could take off bigger chunks of time other times of the year for holidays and outdoor activities.

 

When there are neighbor kids to play with, we follow the school year pretty closely.

 

 

[fourisenough]

I invite the neighbor kids in to join us occasionally. Would that help or hinder your situation? One neighbor girl is doing Mapping the World with Art with us this summer and another begs to come in to play math games. One of them, I have discovered, is an excellent listener to my 6-year old's chapter-book-reading (bless her heart)!

[Dramorellis]

I dialed everything back to math, literature and reading instruction. It took them a few weeks but they finally see the benefit of just getting it out of the way first thing. Now they ask first thing to do it and we are done by 9am. How long does reading and math really take? No matter how much they might need, children (everyone?) max out at a certain point. We just cannot spend more than "x" amount of minutes on math or reading. Anything past that and the quality of work is diminished and they can no longer focus etc. It's just no longer worth the effort for me once we hit that mark. Everything else is icing. I was super stressed about it but the reality is that not doing history, science and latin for a month will not ruin their chances of becoming successful adults. What time do you get up? I have early risers but if your children are not, would they be willing to get up at 6a and get some work done? Then everyone would be fresh, it could go quickly and you all have the whole day left in front of you.

[Mrs. B]

Sounds like a front door chalkboard sign that reads "School in Session, Do not Disturb" or "Gone to bed, Do not Disturb" would come in handy. I once read that someone in a suburb had a flag out when company was allowed over for free play. This may be a tiny help to the problem of kids knocking on the door at times you know your children are occupied.

 

Can't help for a solution to summer schooling, except I agree you need a break as well. You have had a rough year. I admire your dedication and endurance. Can you have one week atleast for all of you to take off? Let the kids' play to their hearts' content a few days, then go back to your current schedule with open play between 2 and 7.

[sassenach]

My compromise is if kids knock at the door, they can go play. Until then, they're all mine...muhahaha.

[Tsuga]

My compromise is if kids knock at the door, they can go play. Until then, they're all mine...muhahaha.

 

In our neighborhood you'd have your kids from exactly 8 a.m. to 8:30 a.m. and 8:30 p.m. to 9 p.m. if they can get up that early, stay awake that late.

 

I have to tear my children away from their friends and the neighborhood pack to get them to shower once a week. It is a great childhood but a pain in the butt to get anything done.

[Junie]

I used to let the kids play outside In the morning when the weather was nice. Then, at lunch, when it was getting really hot, and the kids had quiet time (my sanity saver), I did school one on one as needed. It was usually enough time (since they had played) and if it went into dinner, oh well.

 

Here in our suburbia, the kids are out in the morning and in during the afternoon. And gone for activities in the evening.

 

Super idea!  Thank you.  I think we will end up doing this throughout the summer and probably more so in the fall.

[EmilyGF]

I've made a schedule for my kids of 3 hours of school work. We can do it from 9-12 or 8-11 or 2-5; it doesn't matter. But unless there is a special circumstance (day before the best friends go on vacation, for example), they need to get it done. It still provides time for free play which they can't do with their friends when the friends are in school from 8:30-4 followed by homework, but it keeps us going and keeps them sharp.

It also makes them appreciate the value of their play time.

Emily

[My3girls]

No suggestions as I am in the same boat.  They do complain, and I do think that they need a break.  However, we just don't get it all done during the "school year" so summer school is a necessity.  I have a friend who just cuts it off at the end of May whether they are done or not, and they do summer.  I can't do that, though.  I have issues with not FINISHING.  The compromise is that we do a light schedule, usually 2 hours or less.  We, also, take a week off at Memorial Day, July4, and the week before public school starts.  I hope you can find your peace with doing it your way instead of the traditional way. 

[marbel]

Just an aside, that might or might not be helpful, with regard to finishing.  In Pennsylvania, and I think in some other states too, "finished" does not necessarily mean 100% of a book or curriculum completed.  It means 75% completed. 

 

Now I know some people will disagree with that, and of course some things might need to be completed 100% - math, for example.  But, when I could see we were running out of time to finish Environmental Science, before everyone burned out and wanted some vacation, I picked some chapters to do lightly and one to skip altogether.    Teachers do it all the time, I'm told (by teachers).  

 

YMMV and all that.

[Arcadia]

:grouphug:

 

I'll hang a do not disturb sign at the door at certain hours to get the basics done for your scenario.

 

I have the reverse problem. No kids around even in summer. They are in daycare or summer camps. We are going to a park 30mins drive away tomorrow because that park always have kids when we go.

[Mercury449]

First of all, can I just say that you sound like an AMAZING mom, TheAttachedMamma? You have obviously been having a rough year and I don't think you are whining. Those were legitimately ALOT of set-backs. 

 

I think there have been several good suggestions here (taking note myself). I too, plan to teach through the summer: I don't like being relegated to traveling in June or July and the mind turns to mush if unused. And like you said, you have two kids that REALLY need the extra help and attention. I know YOU know you're doing the right thing, but it helps to hear other people say it too. You are doing the right thing. It sounds like they DO still have plenty of time to play. As for the toddler situation... If you can do it, I second the suggestion of getting a mother's helper. 

 

Hang in there. Sending good thoughts your way!

 

 

[mamakelly]

What if you hired a neighborhood preteen to play with your busy toddler? Both my teens (boy and girl), currently babysit and were able to get a lot of practice being a mother's helper. It might really lighten your load, tire out the toddler and give you more free time. 

[mathnerd]

 If we finish by 2PM, they usually are out playing until 7PM or so.  That is 5 HOURS of free play a day. 

Since you feel guilty that 5 hours of free play is not enough, I suggest that in the summer, you take one week day off schooling (ideally Friday) completely. That way, your kids can have a long weekend every week of the summer. Then, they can play outside all day long on Fridays and have Saturday and Sunday off as well.

[MistyMountain]

I have been after schooling my kids this summer to remediate and I live in a neighborhood with lots of kids playing outside. Do you have a fenced in yard that the toddler could play in with his older sibling? You could leave windows and doors open so you can see and hear. I find it easier to work with one child and send the others outside. If that is not an option then it is fine for them to play inside for a little while. It sounds like they do get plenty of free time to play outside and they do not mind too much so I would not worry about it. I feel a little guilty too at times but you are doing what is best for them. My kids also go to bed much earlier then the other kids in the neighborhood and that adds to the guilty feeling but in reality it is fine to have an early bedtime.

[Artichoke]

A couple of things that worked for us were posting a sign on the door when we were unavailable and mostly starting school work at 7:00 am. The dc would finish easily by 10:00 and have the rest of the day school free. We also took Wednesdays off to meet up with friends or go to the local waterpark.

[Crystal Starr]

This is interesting.  All of the children in our neighborhood disappear every day off to camp or whatever.  Not that it matters, since my kids don't go to school with any of them none of the neighborhood kids have any interest in us. 

[Jean in Newcastle]

We school year around due to chronic illness (me) plus LDs (kids).  We focus only on reading and math during the summer.  And we don't always do it every day.  I've found that hitting math (more important to our particular LDs than reading) 3x a week is enough.