goldberry Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 I'm imagining lately the Chat Board is causing its fair share of headaches for the moderators. Some posters have even suggested that X topic or Y topic be off limits. My response to that could not be better worded that Sadie's post on the other thread... Either we keep talking, and yes, have days where our skin is thin, and we emote or over-react, and then we simmer down and keep listening and talking - or we end up with a forum that is only for our own kind, and for the discussion of laundry tips. I want to speak out as one who has had my fair share of thin skin, hurt feelings, and over-reactions, but who DOES NOT want topics banned or prohibited because of the very reason Sadie so put so eloquently. This board has been an amazing place for keeping my mind open and my heart understanding to others I just would not be seeing in my everyday life. I greatly appreciate the moderators taking the time to remind us to be kind and reasonable, rather than just saying X topic is now off limits. I beg you to continue doing so. The value from these discussions is not immediately measurable in the sometimes heated responses. However, the value is real. Please be patient with us as we work through these difficult subjects (sometimes with more grace than other times). 45 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flyingiguana Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 If I get offended, I try to take a walk. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AimeeM Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 I agree completely... and, like you, have had my "thin skinned" days. I have learned so much from the threads on this board... honestly, I've learned the most from some of the more controversial threads... often when I get my feelings hurt. Despite the thin skinned days, and the occasional bickering, I've never seen the members of a board come together like they do here, when it's needed, regardless the feelings hurt the day before. This is my "safe spot", even if we don't always agree. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milovany Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 I've been here for 5+ years and haven't noticed that it's any more contentious than usual. Maybe I am learning to stay away from the contentious threads, though (although I do think I'm aware of them). 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 As for certain topics, if you don't like them, why not stay out of them? I skip right over threads that I know are a hot button for me. Why is that hard for some people? 19 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 It can be very therapeutic to type out responses and then delete them. It always makes me feel like I get it off my chest without bothering with the hours long back and forth on the board. And walking away with an eye roll is always good! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunflowerlady Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 I have been here since the old old boards with the threaded format and they would flip over every night. I didn't post much then, mostly I lurked and read. And I got awesome deals on the sale boards as well as selling sveral items. I agree that it is no more contentious than it has ever been. I love the diversity here. This is the most interesting home school message board I have found. And I have seen and participated in many. 12 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joyofsixreboot Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 Must have missed all the fun ;) 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 It can be very therapeutic to type out responses and then delete them. It always makes me feel like I get it off my chest without bothering with the hours long back and forth on the board. And walking away with an eye roll is always good! Except when you accidentally push send. Whoops! ;) I punish myself sometimes, forcing myself to stay away from threads which I know are always upsetting, or putting another member on ignore for a while - not necessarily because the poster is behaving badly, but because I know *I* am behaving badly with respect to that poster. I've broken my own rules though recently. Never a good plan. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom-ninja. Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 Must have missed all the fun ;) Me too. I guess you and I spend too much time exercising and posting about it. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I talk to the trees Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 As for certain topics, if you don't like them, why not stay out of them? I skip right over threads that I know are a hot button for me. Why is that hard for some people? I think too many of us have this mindset. ;) 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 What have I been missing? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slartibartfast Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 I think some people also could expend a little more compassion. If people are being told they are being unkind and judgmental then maybe they should take responsibility for that and spend some time thinking about whether or not that is who they are. I am just saying, I don't think it is the people who are getting hurt or upset that is the issue. I think some people are being nasty and that gets tiresome. It would be nice to be able to discuss serious issues without someone throwing it off because they can't seem to discuss serious issues without being a jerk. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slartibartfast Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 So is it Ok to be' unkind and judgemental' about an idea ? I mean, probably not the best strategy....but often people, me included, have trouble separating out disagreement with an idea from unkindness towards ourselves... Idk. I'm here and not elsewhere because I must get something out of not being in an echo chamber. What I am referring to is people being judgmental towards other people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MomtoCandJ Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 If you don't think you will like the topic then don't look :) ok that's what I do anyway. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 Oh my gosh, that's human nature...isn't it ? It happens very frequently here, and from all sides of the aisle. I'd venture there aren't many posters here who haven't indulged at least on occasion. Of course it's not nice. I personally think singling out one person on one issue as THE problem is a bit over the top. I mean, as an unmarried atheist with a gay kid, I'd be kidding myself if I thought some of the Christian posters here were merely judging my life philosophy. I am pretty darn sure they are judging ME :) It all comes down to what people see these forums as. I see Chat as a big international debate club, and I tend to look for my validation as a person elsewhere. But I can see that if you just want your Chat light and breezy, without challenges to who you are as a person ( via challenge of your beliefs ) that you might feel differently. Probably more topics will end up banned, which will be a shame, imo :( I gotta say, I have benefitted many times -sometimes actively, sometimes passively - from heated topics here. I do think there are a few subjects it is better for me to sty out of. But I would hate it if we were simply not permitted to talk about anything that tends to wind people up. And just FTR, Sadie, if I do get a chance to head Down Under, I plan to try to comnect with you there! (and Rosie, and Melissa!) 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ravin Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 So is it Ok to be' unkind and judgemental' about an idea ? I mean, probably not the best strategy....but often people, me included, have trouble separating out disagreement with an idea from unkindness towards ourselves... Idk. I'm here and not elsewhere because I must get something out of not being in an echo chamber. Some people frame just about anything as " an idea." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saddlemomma Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 If I feel like I could be offended or if I am sensitive about a subject, I usually don't post anything. Why would I want to add on more hurt if I am struggling with something? That's just my opinion. I am still very thankful for this board. It has been such a great help for me and my family. I know my children's education has greatly benefited from the Hive's wisdom. I also stay away from things that will likely raise my BP. Sometimes, though, I'm really interested in a topic and add my 2 cents while trying to be respectful. However, I don't stay around to get into arguments that are going nowhere, and I simply don't respond to nasty or belittling replies. That way I don't get caught up in the drama, and I don't become an instigator. I hope there isn't the need for more censorship. There's too much of that now-a-days as it is. Tolerance is becoming more and more the opposite of its true definition. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fraidycat Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 Some people frame just about anything as " an idea." And just as many frame an opposing opinion about an idea as "a personal attack". Conflating an idea with an identity. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 I think some people also could expend a little more compassion. If people are being told they are being unkind and judgmental then maybe they should take responsibility for that and spend some time thinking about whether or not that is who they are. I am just saying, I don't think it is the people who are getting hurt or upset that is the issue. I think some people are being nasty and that gets tiresome. It would be nice to be able to discuss serious issues without someone throwing it off because they can't seem to discuss serious issues without being a jerk. it's frequently the same people. there are certain topics, the same people make the same remarks. it seems like every. single. time. they don't like being told it might be them that's the problem . . . . (I'm thinking of a particular person and subject . . . . the remarks were hurtful for the OP of that particular subject. not me.) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 I have been here since the old old boards with the threaded format and they would flip over every night. I didn't post much then, mostly I lurked and read. And I got awesome deals on the sale boards as well as selling sveral items. I agree that it is no more contentious than it has ever been. I love the diversity here. This is the most interesting home school message board I have found. And I have seen and participated in many. Same here. I've been around since 2002 and it's always been one group or another flying off into fits every now and then. People come. People go. The names change. The personalities change. The dynamic, however, is still the same. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 Same here. I've been around since 2002 and it's always been one group or another flying off into fits every now and then. People come. People go. The names change. The personalities change. The dynamic, however, is still the same. Yes. I've been here since around 2004 and I don't think that the level of drama has changed much. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Florida. Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 Same here. I've been around since 2002 and it's always been one group or another flying off into fits every now and then. People come. People go. The names change. The personalities change. The dynamic, however, is still the same. This. I lurked on the old old board (the one that used to flip every night) and started posting on the old board around 2006 or 07. Nothing is really different other than the no politics thing. People come and go, but it's the same old song.There were posters long gone who turned everything into a debate, including one who turned everything into one specific topic no matter how much she had to twist things to relate it to her pet topic. I actually think it's been pretty mild here lately. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StaceyinLA Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 I TRY not to get in the middle of especially heated subjects, though I certainly have on occasion. However, I will say that the discussions on these boards have often made me "see" things in a different light. There are certainly areas I feel strongly about that I'm sure no discussion could ever change, but I think I have become way more compassionate and understanding over the years because of people's input on TWTM. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 I think actually it was worse. Certain posters were just out to get a rise out of people. I try to stay out of things, but sometimes even when I post what I think are benign things, people get upset and go off on me. That does upset me and it is hard to walk away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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