MedicMom Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 I asked a few years ago the same question and the answer was pretty 50/50. But circumstances are a little different now. I am 20 weeks pregnant with a miracle baby. We had been told natural conception was impossible and our family was done. Apparently fate had different plans. It's been a touch and go pregnancy but as we are getting closer to viability my mom has been talking about a baby shower. (In my area it's the grandmas/aunts who throw the baby shower) I had one with my first, and a sprinkle with my second that was just close family. I have an entirely new social circle now. the main reason my mom wants to throw a shower is that I have nothing. We thought conception was impossible and I kept no baby things. I have a borrowed crib and that's all. We are also drowning in medical debt due to this high risk pregnancy and buying everything new is possible but would put a big dent in the budget. I am not talking the baby accessories but the basics---car seat, stroller, crib sheets, high chair...I have none of this left. I feel like a full blown baby shower for a third child is a little excessive. I don't want a gift grab or the appearance of one. Everyone knows the circumstances though. So....yay or nay? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 I think that some circumstances warrant the community of friends and families getting involved and yours is one of them. In the church we attended previously, the rule was only one church sponsored shower per family. But, then a woman whose oldest child was 14 became pregnant at a time when her husband was just finishing some serious health treatments that really set them back financially. The church did not officially sponsor a shower, but a bunch of her friends and family got together and hosted one privately, but using the church facility. It was super well attended, and they got what they needed. I think that is what is important. So, if your mom wants to do that and you are not getting a negative vibe from those that would normally be invited, then I think it's perfectly fine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenn121 Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 My kids are very far apart. Between the 2nd and 3rd there is 6 years. We thought we were done and our little Sarah was wonderful surprise, We had nothing and everyone knew that and wanted to help. I think that a baby shower is very appropriate in this circumstance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halftime Hope Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 "Third-ing" what Jenn and FM said. I follow your posts on FB, and I'm thrilled you and baby are making progress. (The opposite is unthinkable, so my prayers are with you every day.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AK_Mom4 Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 Yep - when DD13 was born, we had a six year gap between her and kid #3. Like you, we had absolutely nothing except a crib because we were "done". My co-workers and I were working an insanely difficult project (16 hour days, 7 days a week) and they took the new baby as an excuse to throw an all-afternoon work party. They took up a collection and we were able to buy a car seat and the critical stuff to get us started. The project went live on a Monday and DD was born the following Thursday morning. Absolutely have a baby shower. Give everyone a chance to celebrate this new addition! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 My sons are 5.5 years apart. When I was pregnant the second time around, I was thrown three showers by different groups of people, two of which were a total surprise. People are gonna do what people wanna do and if that includes giving me gifts, who the heck am I to complain about it. Personally I neither want to be or know the person who would look at a party for a mom and baby and assign negative intent. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 Congratulations!!!! If your mother wants to throw a shower for you, then she should. She could leave out any registry information, such that people who want to know specifics have to call and ask if you registered somewhere, or if you have specific needs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 I think it totally depends on the vibe of your community. Neither of my kids had a shower, but I still had tons of people asking for registry info. I was very high risk with my first child. My SIL was going to have a shower, but I was uncomfortable having it until the very end. And then she didn't want to do it. I had gifts sent from relatives of DH's I've never met! So my thinking tends to be, people who know and love you will love on you and baby regardless. I got like 40 gifts for my SECOND child. If showers for subsequent babies are common in your area and showers given by close relatives, no one will likely blink an eye. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kareng Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 I say AMEN!!! to all of the above :iagree: . I especially agree with this line from Ellie: "People are gonna do what people wanna do and of that includes giving me gifts". Most people LOVE to celebrate babies and they WANT to give gifts. So they will give gifts most likely anyway. Why not help them know what would be helpful (if they ask)? Wouldn't you like to do the same for another woman who found herself in the same situation (a miracle baby and no baby things)? Of course you would! So say yes to your mother :-) :hurray: :hurray: :hurray: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan in TX Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 Yes, you should absolutely have a shower. Some of my most favorite baby showers were for parents who had thought they were done, got rid of all their baby stuff, and then had a little "surprise". Susan in TX Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momto10blessings Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 I'm for it. I'm for celebrating any and all babies, but especially miracle babies. If they are your friends they will know your situation and won't judge you for having a shower. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MiMi 4under3 Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 So....yay or nay? Preparing for, and celebrating the arrival of a new baby is always a "yay" in my book. Congratulations! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ocelotmom Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 I think each baby should be celebrated, I don't think people should have to hoard their baby stuff until well past menopause just in case they have an unanticipated baby, and there are more items these days that are disposable or have a limited lifespan for safety reasons. And a subsequent child could easily be more difficult for a family financially than the first. I don't think every baby needs a ton of brand new stuff, either. But I think passing on every single baby thing as soon as you're done with it (except perhaps the things of highest sentimental value) and having a hand-me-down shower if a new baby comes along is an a fabulous idea. (Which isn't to say that having a non-hand-me-down shower is wrong, either) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 Have the shower!! Celebrate that baby!! I attend a church that hosts a shower for each and EVERY baby - first babies, second babies, fourth and fifth babies, and yes, 8th and 9th babies, too!! We like babies around here!! Congratulations! Anne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 I say AMEN!!! to all of the above :iagree: . I especially agree with this line from Ellie: "People are gonna do what people wanna do and of that includes giving me gifts". Most people LOVE to celebrate babies and they WANT to give gifts. So they will give gifts most likely anyway. Why not help them know what would be helpful (if they ask)? Wouldn't you like to do the same for another woman who found herself in the same situation (a miracle baby and no baby things)? Of course you would! So say yes to your mother :-) :hurray: :hurray: :hurray: This may be the first time I've been confused with Ellie! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Okra Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 All babies should be celebrated..... Have the shower and celebrate with friends and family your miracle baby! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 I wouldn't be comfortable with my mom throwing me a shower, but I wouldn't turn down a friend's offer. I hope your baby gets celebrated! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Butter Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 I vote an unqualified YES! A friend of mine had been told virtually no chance of conceiving and, if she got pregnant, virtually no chance of carrying past 9 weeks. She had had one child before being informed of all this. So they adopted #2. No baby things in the house, because why would you keep them around past needing them when you've been told you never will again. And she got pregnant and, while her pregnancy also was touch and go, she had a beautiful little one last summer. We showered her good :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisbeth Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 I wouldn't be comfortable with my mom throwing me a shower, but I wouldn't turn down a friend's offer. I hope your baby gets celebrated! :) This is what I was going to write. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Acorn Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 Absolutely, and ENJOY it! Your mom sounds so sweet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 If someone offers you a shower, why not? It's not like you are throwing it yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 Enjoy the shower! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eagle Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 Babies should be celebrated! Definitely have the shower that has been offered. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 Congratulations! I know I would joyfully attend and be happy to bring a gift to celebrate your little miracle. (Oh, and I'll admit, I can be a little fussy about somethings (like paying for an co-workers child's college), but never a new baby.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan C. Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 Whatever YOU want! And suit your comfort level. If you want it after you know baby is born, then wait. If you don't feel up to attending, then have your mom/friend/relative have a virtual shower. I was given showers with both kids, it was fun. We had to wait until almost delivery with both because I had terrible morning sickness and I wouldn't have been able to attend earlier. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaz Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 Let your friends and family bless you! Enjoy the shower. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 This may be the first time I've been confused with Ellie! Are you wearing hose with that dress? :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 Are you wearing hose with that dress? :D No. Maybe Ellie is wearing jeans, a hoodie and laceless converse with no socks. Twinsies! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caclcoca Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 Another Yay vote! I think that all babies should be celebrated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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