StaceyinLA Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 Someone at mom's night last night mentioned a book by Debbie Pearl that teaches kids about not letting people touch them inappropriately and what's ok and what's not and about running away and yelling. Neither are big Pearl fans but both said they really liked this particular book. I have issues giving the Pearls my money so does anyone know of a good alternative to this? Does anyone second that this is worth buying and ignoring what else they stand for? My dd would really like this or something like it to read to her kiddos. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 The Pearls? Seriously???? :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momofkhm Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 I think the book's name is Yell and Tell. http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=yell+and+tell There are several non-related books on that search, but a few others that may be good substitutes. My kids are too old for this kind of book so I have no idea if any that are showing up are good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 Please find other sources to keep kids safe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 I like this book a lot, and it is applicable for many ages of children. It is for parents to read and then apply the concepts. ETA: The book is Protecting the Gift. http://www.amazon.com/dp/0440509009/?tag=mh0b-20&hvadid=4963521288&ref=pd_sl_4uc4lne5yj_e More ETA: I reread my post and realized it sounded like I was endorsing the Pearls' book. I can't even. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FO4UR Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 I'd recommend parents read Protecting the Gift. Jemima Puddle Duck is the very best kids book for discussing stranger danger ever. Grimm's Fairy tales work well too. The Pearls? Seriously???? :glare: Is there a chapter on calling 911 when your parent begins to hit your baby brother with plumbing line???? (sorry, the sarcasm just slipped out. That REALLY isn't funny. Makes me vomit, really.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lang Syne Boardie Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 Don't take child safety advice from people who teach systematic abuse of children. Partly because we shouldn't be sending them any traffic, money, or word of mouth recommendation. But also because they aren't qualified to address the subject! All they can possibly offer is that it's fine for mommy and daddy to hit you, trick you, manipulate your emotions, attach religious guilt to your childish transgressions, and disregard your bodily privacy...but watch out for strangers! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 Don't take child safety advice from people who teach systematic abuse of children. Partly because we shouldn't be sending them any traffic, money, or word of mouth recommendation. But also because they aren't qualified to address the subject! All they can possibly offer is that it's fine for mommy and daddy to hit you, trick you, manipulate your emotions, attach religious guilt to your childish transgressions, and disregard your bodily privacy...but watch out for strangers! I can't imagine anyone who already knows about the Pearls asking if she should buy one of their books, no matter what the topic. It boggles my mind. Maybe Stacey was just bored today and decided to start a controversial new thread. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FO4UR Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 I can't imagine anyone who already knows about the Pearls asking if she should buy one of their books, no matter what the topic. It boggles my mind. Maybe Stacey was just bored today and decided to start a controversial new thread. ;) I'm going with she's looking for an alternative. That said, %&(*@^#*&%@#*(%(!!!!!!!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alessandra Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 Boy Scouts has some nice booklets that are included with the Cub Scout handbooks for each year and with the Boy Scout Handbook. I read with my kiddos and found them very helpful, especially as they talk about the grooming aspect and also that abusers could be other kids, not just adults. BSA also has online training for adults that would be good for older kids. Iirc, you do not need to be registered to go through the program, only to get a completion note. I think BSA has other books and videos in their online and real life shops. Sad in a way that they have to have so much.... I cannot imagine taking any advice from the Pearls, not any, not ever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
73349 Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 Amazon has "I Said NO!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 We have: http://www.amazon.com/Right-Touch-Read-Aloud-Prevent-Collection/dp/0935699104/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1424295907&sr=8-1&keywords=the+right+touch and: http://www.amazon.com/Those-are-MY-Private-Parts/dp/1482544377/ref=pd_sim_b_31?ie=UTF8&refRID=0XV1GQ6566GHTPZJNK65 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pam in CT Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 Protecting the Gift is the only parenting book I've ever asked my husband, who doesn't so much go for such things, to read. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denise in Florida Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 I like this book a lot, and it is applicable for many ages of children. It is for parents to read and then apply the concepts. ETA: The book is Protecting the Gift. http://www.amazon.com/dp/0440509009/?tag=mh0b-20&hvadid=4963521288&ref=pd_sl_4uc4lne5yj_e More ETA: I reread my post and realized it sounded like I was endorsing the Pearls' book. I can't even. I read the bolded part (bolding mine) and laughed so loud I scared the cat. lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DesertBlossom Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 Amazon has "I Said NO!"We have this book and I really like it. It is really good at teaching kids to be able say no without scaring them with too many details. It's told from the point of view of a little boy at a sleepover who was basically asked the "show me yours" line and how he handled it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 I read the bolded part (bolding mine) and laughed so loud I scared the cat. lol I know! It was horrifyingly laugh-worthy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kiara.I Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 I like "A Very Touching Book." It even includes lovely sections on making sure your adults (you know, the ones reading it to you right now) know the right names for parts--check for purple face syndrome (caused by not knowing the right names for parts.) Hysterical. My kids didn't get it. LOL And yes, "Protecting the Gift" is a great read. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*lifeoftheparty* Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 I can't imagine anyone who already knows about the Pearls asking if she should buy one of their books, no matter what the topic. It boggles my mind. Maybe Stacey was just bored today and decided to start a controversial new thread. ;) No kidding, the other day on the Classical Conversations facebook page, someone asked for help with discipline, and at least THREE people recommended To Train Up a Child by the Pearls. Then someine finally chimed in to say not to support the Pearls, and they got jumped on people who were saying that saying the Pearls advocate abuse are slandering them, and they don't advocate that at all. I was dumbfounded. And so incredibly thankful that none of those people were in my CC group.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 No kidding, the other day on the Classical Conversations facebook page, someone asked for help with discipline, and at least THREE people recommended To Train Up a Child by the Pearls. Then someine finally chimed in to say not to support the Pearls, and they got jumped on people who were saying that saying the Pearls advocate abuse are slandering them, and they don't advocate that at all. I was dumbfounded. And so incredibly thankful that none of those people were in my CC group.... Yikes. :eek: It's so hard for me to imagine anyone supporting the Pearls. I don't blame you for being thankful that none of those people were part of your group. I can be friendly with most people, but I don't think I could even manage to be civil with Pearl supporters. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted February 19, 2015 Share Posted February 19, 2015 I recommend The Safe Side: Stranger Safety DVD. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StaceyinLA Posted February 19, 2015 Author Share Posted February 19, 2015 Okay did Yall NOT see that I didn't want to give them my money and wanted something like it but by another author? I definitely said the same thing last night about how they could write a book about protecting your kid while also promoting child abuse. I was actually stunned they'd promote anything that would encourage a child to question an adult. So yeah - definitely looking for an alternative. Thank you for the suggestions. I actually searched Amazon as well and found the book then looked for similar ones below it and found several that look really good for reading to kids. Protecting the Gift sounds great and I'll definitely be checking that one out! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted February 19, 2015 Share Posted February 19, 2015 Okay did Yall NOT see that I didn't want to give them my money and wanted something like it but by another author? I definitely said the same thing last night about how they could write a book about protecting your kid while also promoting child abuse. I was actually stunned they'd promote anything that would encourage a child to question an adult. So yeah - definitely looking for an alternative. Thank you for the suggestions. I actually searched Amazon as well and found the book then looked for similar ones below it and found several that look really good for reading to kids. Protecting the Gift sounds great and I'll definitely be checking that one out! Stacey, you know I like you, but when you mentioned Debbie Pearl in your thread title, you had to have realized that it was going to get a reaction from people. You could have just as easily simply asked for a book recommendation on your topic of interest, without bringing the Pearls into the discussion at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted February 19, 2015 Share Posted February 19, 2015 The one I used and ALWAYS recommend is called "My Body is Private". I love that book because it is clear without being scary, and it has a very warm tone, AND it models how to say no and set boundaries. I think that a lot of kids put up with things because they are too embarrassed to speak up, and having a resource that models how to do so is very valuable. It's intended for older grammar school, but I started reading it to DD when she was 4 or 5. We also had several discussions about bad secrets, and how a person will sometimes lie and say that they will hurt your mom if you tell, but that that is ALWAYS a lie, and that actually the only way they might possibly be able to hurt someone is if you DON'T tell. And that lying to get away from someone like that is the only time to lie, and to go ahead and lie to get away, and then find me and tell me and Daddy right away. But also that that is very unusual and that it doesn't happen to everyone, but it's one of those things that is good to know what to do about. I know 3 kids who were contemporaries of DD's who were molested or being groomed to be molested by age 6. I'm glad I got out there ahead of time with this information. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiana Posted February 19, 2015 Share Posted February 19, 2015 No kidding, the other day on the Classical Conversations facebook page, someone asked for help with discipline, and at least THREE people recommended To Train Up a Child by the Pearls. Then someine finally chimed in to say not to support the Pearls, and they got jumped on people who were saying that saying the Pearls advocate abuse are slandering them, and they don't advocate that at all. I was dumbfounded. And so incredibly thankful that none of those people were in my CC group.... Yep, I have some people that I know offline that were talking about how wonderful it was. Fortunately their kid was old enough when they started trying to implement it that it backfired very, very quickly and they gave up. They still think that the main issue was that they didn't start young enough. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StaceyinLA Posted February 19, 2015 Author Share Posted February 19, 2015 Stacey, you know I like you, but when you mentioned Debbie Pearl in your thread title, you had to have realized that it was going to get a reaction from people. You could have just as easily simply asked for a book recommendation on your topic of interest, without bringing the Pearls into the discussion at all. I guess that's true but figured if someone was familiar with this particular book then maybe they could point me to something similar. I wanted it (well dd wanted it) to be easily readable to young children. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StaceyinLA Posted February 19, 2015 Author Share Posted February 19, 2015 I do appreciate all the alternate suggestions. I'll be ordering a few of these from Amazon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hilltop Posted February 19, 2015 Share Posted February 19, 2015 I recommend The Safe Side: Stranger Safety DVD. I second this recommendation and also recommend Protecting the Gift. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FO4UR Posted February 19, 2015 Share Posted February 19, 2015 I wanted it (well dd wanted it) to be easily readable to young children. Jemima Puddle Duck It is all very vivid, and yet not scary b/c we are talking about a duck. It portrays the grooming process wonderfully, and b/c it is about a duck and her eggs we can apply the lessons Jemima learns to a variety of situations. Kids are groomed for....a variety of different things! Parents should talk about those variety of different things, but I'm not convinced the reading of books should go much further than Jemima b/c those talks are best aimed very directly from parent to child and sometimes a book gets in the way. jmVHo. If you read Protecting the Gift, and then reread Jemima...it gives a whole new respect for Beatrix Potter and her ability to communicate with children. One would think maybe she read PtG before writing Jemima, but that wouldn't be possible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted February 19, 2015 Share Posted February 19, 2015 4blessingmom, on 18 Feb 2015 - 10:50 PM, said: Jemima Puddle Duck It is all very vivid, and yet not scary b/c we are talking about a duck. dudeling has anxiety as part of his diagnosis. he found jemima puddle duck very scary and became quite agitated. it didn't take much- a stranger knocking on the door would get a reaction from him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
albeto. Posted February 19, 2015 Share Posted February 19, 2015 I like this book a lot, and it is applicable for many ages of children. It is for parents to read and then apply the concepts. ETA: The book is Protecting the Gift. http://www.amazon.com/dp/0440509009/?tag=mh0b-20&hvadid=4963521288&ref=pd_sl_4uc4lne5yj_e Oh my. That book would have terrified my children. They never would have left the house. It seems awfully scare-tastic to me, but that's just from the "look inside!" portion. Sorry, OP. I can't help. My kids are older, and I never used books. We just talked about this kind of stuff, kwim? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8circles Posted February 19, 2015 Share Posted February 19, 2015 Oh my. That book would have terrified my children. They never would have left the house. It seems awfully scare-tastic to me, but that's just from the "look inside!" portion. Sorry, OP. I can't help. My kids are older, and I never used books. We just talked about this kind of stuff, kwim? You don't read the book to your children. It really is a wonderful book for equiping parents to talk to their children and even to protect themselves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deee Posted February 19, 2015 Share Posted February 19, 2015 I'm not trying to put the kibosh on any of your efforts, but please be aware that the published research shows no significant increase in protective behaviours in lower primary school-aged children following "stranger danger" or similar education programs. There may be a decrease in parental supervision because parents think their kids are equipped and will be OK, but the kids are just as clueless as before, only more anxious. The take-home message is that education is fine, but not a substitute for parental vigilance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted February 19, 2015 Share Posted February 19, 2015 I'm not trying to put the kibosh on any of your efforts, but please be aware that the published research shows no significant increase in protective behaviours in lower primary school-aged children following "stranger danger" or similar education programs. There may be a decrease in parental supervision because parents think their kids are equipped and will be OK, but the kids are just as clueless as before, only more anxious. The take-home message is that education is fine, but not a substitute for parental vigilance. I believe it. Pedophiles tend to be very good at what they do. They also tend to pray on people they know. The whole weirdo jumping out behind a bush thing is unlikely. Not impossible, but unlikely. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 19, 2015 Share Posted February 19, 2015 I believe it. Pedophiles tend to be very good at what they do. They also tend to pray on people they know. The whole weirdo jumping out behind a bush thing is unlikely. Not impossible, but unlikely. My dd is in pre-k this year and it is shocking (but not surprising) how, if an adult say "Sam, you are riding home with me", Sam follows with no question. Kids are trusting. It is up to the adults to be vigilant and keep kids safe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted February 19, 2015 Share Posted February 19, 2015 Oh my. That book would have terrified my children. They never would have left the house. It seems awfully scare-tastic to me, but that's just from the "look inside!" portion. Sorry, OP. I can't help. My kids are older, and I never used books. We just talked about this kind of stuff, kwim? As I stated in my post, it for parents to read and then apply with kids. Most parents need some way to teach and evaluate how well-equipped kids are, and this book gives one such way. I also like his companion book The Gift of Fear, clearly written to adults and for adults, particularly women. It is very empowering and combats the societal messages of "be nice" and instead teaches practical ways to evaluate situations and listen to one's "gut". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted February 19, 2015 Share Posted February 19, 2015 I'm not trying to put the kibosh on any of your efforts, but please be aware that the published research shows no significant increase in protective behaviours in lower primary school-aged children following "stranger danger" or similar education programs. There may be a decrease in parental supervision because parents think their kids are equipped and will be OK, but the kids are just as clueless as before, only more anxious. The take-home message is that education is fine, but not a substitute for parental vigilance. Protecting the Gift goes far beyond typical "stranger danger" programs, which is a silly concept anyway, as kids are more likely to be victimized in any way by a person known to them and will also need to be able to interact effectively with strangers if ever separated from a parent in public. I completely agree that no substitute exists for parental supervision and vigilance. Kids turn into adults, and if we teach kids how to stay safe from a young age, it becomes an ingrained lesson they can take with them into adulthood. My college age dd needs this information now on campus and in the world now more than she ever did as a minor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AimeeM Posted February 19, 2015 Share Posted February 19, 2015 The Pearls? Seriously???? :glare: I know. The irony. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MeAndTheBoys Posted February 19, 2015 Share Posted February 19, 2015 I guess that's true but figured if someone was familiar with this particular book then maybe they could point me to something similar. I wanted it (well dd wanted it) to be easily readable to young children. I am familiar with the Pearl book--I bought the "boy" version. It was appropriate, but just a little creepy. I am NOT a fan of the Pearls, but the book was useful enough--but there HAVE to be better written books out there. I read it to my boys when they were younger, we have talked a lot--now they just pull it off the shelf and read the ridiculously bad poetry out of it. Don't waste your money on it; there are more engaging books out there. But if you find the Pearl book at a thrift shop for 25 cents, it's not a terrible "stranger danger" book and it's amusing. Just don't buy it full price. B Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StaceyinLA Posted February 19, 2015 Author Share Posted February 19, 2015 Thanks for more info. This is really not so much for stranger danger as for protecting their bodies/not being afraid to say no, etc. Dd already doesn't push them to be affectionate when they don't want to or with those they don't want to, etc. Heck I don't even try to get them to kiss me when they don't want to. I think the main thing is just having them comfortable saying no and knowing they can. Thank goodness there is a LOT of supervision and they aren't really left with anyone other than me (and that's rarely). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
idnib Posted February 20, 2015 Share Posted February 20, 2015 . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momacacia Posted February 20, 2015 Share Posted February 20, 2015 Oh these Kid Power books ^^^ are really, really good! Much better than the Pearl's Pantiloons Yell and Tell book (which I've read). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldberry Posted February 20, 2015 Share Posted February 20, 2015 Protecting the Gift actually *lessened* my anxiety as a parent. He really focuses on how anxiety/worry is not productive at all and can actually distract you from situations that should generate a real fear response if you are in tune with your intuition. It was a great book for me as someone prone to worry. I also liked his approach (that someone else mentioned) that the old philosophy of "don't talk to strangers" is not the most effective any more. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pamela H in Texas Posted February 20, 2015 Share Posted February 20, 2015 We have The Right Touch and I Said No. It is driving me batty that my newbie is calling her privates "la-la" and that her fostermom does too. During foster training, we had to come up with a list of names we had heard. It is amazing how many there are! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.