Jump to content

Menu

My husband is sincerely obsessed with ridding our home of the squirrels.


AimeeM
 Share

Recommended Posts

It's every house in the area, but you would think they had a personal issue with my poor husband. We've had professionals out and sure enough, the little pests were somehow getting into the basement. Now, only occasionally, and they never bothered ME, but hey, what do I know.

Tony went so far as to have the trees in front of the house cut back (they needed work done anyway)... and paid the guy extra to knock down the nests.

 

I swear I thought what I'm about to tell you was a dream... until the other day when DH thanked me for "being a good sport the other night".

 

The setting is about a week ago, around 3 am.

 

I'm awakened by a flash light in my face, my husband (in his boxer briefs) standing over me hissing "put your slippers on - don't argue, I need back up".

I'm terrified. I'm all, "Tony, wha-.".

He says, "hush - do you hear that noise? That tap-tap?".

I'm all, "sure, it's an older house, Tony".

"Don't argue. Follow me".

So I follow him, into the living room, over into the office, while he's muttering to himself about "da*n tapping".

I follow him to the basement door. He says, "be quiet, don't argue, back me up".

He freakin' TIPTOES down the basement stairs, all lights off, flashlight down.

We hear the tapping getting closer. We realize it's coming from there - in the basement!

Tony whispers "I finally CAUGHT the stupid mother f*******!" (he never curses). 

He quickly runs over to his workbench, where the noise is coming from, throws the light in that direction, looking all sorts of triumphant and manically thrilled at finally having CAUGHT the evil little squirrels.

 

It was the faucet dripping.

 

Apparently since that part of the basement is directly under our master bathroom, we could hear it through the pipes.

 

I will never, never let him live it down. Any time he annoys me, I will bring to mind the sight of my almost always stoic, calm husband running around in boxer briefs muttering to himself, and dragging his poor wife along with him, to catch a squirrel in action.

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

:lol:  :lol:

 

A few years ago I was at my dad's house and we're sitting in this little side room talking when suddenly he stands up mid-sentence, grabs a BB gun off the top of the china cabinet (I was like, what the... there's a gun up there?!?), opens the door and starts popping the squirrels. Then he comes back in and resumes talking to my complete bewilderment. Finally he's like, "I'm trying to learn them." He really felt he could teach the squirrels to leave them and their bird feeders alone.  :laugh:

 

I think it's because our lives are too safe. Some menfolk need to protect their homes from... something. Even if it's a squirrel.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

:lol:  :lol:

 

A few years ago I was at my dad's house and we're sitting in this little side room talking when suddenly he stands up mid-sentence, grabs a BB gun off the top of the china cabinet (I was like, what the... there's a gun up there?!?), opens the door and starts popping the squirrels. Then he comes back in and resumes talking to my complete bewilderment. Finally he's like, "I'm trying to learn them." He really felt he could teach the squirrels to leave them and their bird feeders alone.  :laugh:

 

I think it's because our lives are too safe. Some menfolk need to protect their homes from... something. Even if it's a squirrel.

:lol:

 

Mmmhmm. I think you must be right.

 

Years ago my husband was working with a company in a different city, and several days a week he just worked from his home office. 

I can't tell you how amusing it was to watch my college educated, philadelphia raised, Italian husband grab the pellet gun from beside his desk, open the window, and start shooting at the squirrels... in the middle of our downtown subdivision. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I thought they were pretty cute, myself... until they started pelting me with acorns at 6:30 in the morning (outside, I mean; walking the dog or getting kids out the door).

They used to throw unripe peaches at my dad's poor doggies. He would hear bark bark bark YELP bark bark bark YELP.

 

I think you now have a theme for your next giftable occasion... ;)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

All the Asian tourists I see taking photos of like every single squirrel would probably be horrified by the hatred some Americans have for squirrels.

 

I don't understand it myself.  We have them all over the place here, and I think they're adorable.  :001_wub:

 

Of course, I used to have pet rats, so...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

All the Asian tourists I see taking photos of like every single squirrel would probably be horrified by the hatred some Americans have for squirrels.

 

A squirrel used to use our mailbox as a food storage shed.  I saw him open the mail box and retrieve a muffin.  It's funny because for awhile I was finding various baked goods in my mail box.  Stuff like hot dog buns, cookies, and muffins.  I thought it was some weird kid prank or something.  Although even that didn't seem likely because I never see kids around here.  Then one day I saw the squirrel doing that!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I don't understand it myself.  We have them all over the place here, and I think they're adorable.  :001_wub:

 

Of course, I used to have pet rats, so...

 

Yup! I think they're adorable too. & I have pet rats :D

 

one of the squirrels that was painstakingly treated & rehabilitated at the wildlife rescue where dd works was released in my yard - we back onto a greenbelt. It was a 'soft release' meaning we had to put food out for it for several days in case it was having a hard time finding suitable forage or establishing its rank within the existing squirrel population.

 

If they're getting into the house, don't focus on killing the squirrels - focus on squirrel proofing the house. It takes time & good chicken wire & caulking & staple guns...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

We have a lot of squirrels.  Probably because we are one of the few people to have a tree in the yard.  Except for chewing a hole in one of the trash cans, they don't cause trouble really. 

Tony is pretty psyched that the house we're bidding on has, like, NO trees. :P

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yup! I think they're adorable too. & I have pet rats :D

 

one of the squirrels that was painstakingly treated & rehabilitated at the wildlife rescue where dd works was released in my yard - we back onto a greenbelt. It was a 'soft release' meaning we had to put food out for it for several days in case it was having a hard time finding suitable forage or establishing its rank within the existing squirrel population.

 

If they're getting into the house, don't focus on killing the squirrels - focus on squirrel proofing the house. It takes time & good chicken wire & caulking & staple guns...

Absolutely nobody can figure out how they are getting into the basement. We've had everybody from a hired architect to Hired Killers look. It isn't a lot of them... in fact, I'm pretty sure that it's just one... probably one who has a bone to pick with my husband.

 

ETA: Years ago, we set traps and tried to just re-home them, and knock down the nests. Then we found out that we faced a $500 fine, per squirrel, if we relocated them. I guess they carry disease. Not fond of the buggers myself.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

All the Asian tourists I see taking photos of like every single squirrel would probably be horrified by the hatred some Americans have for squirrels.

When we went to DC a few years ago we were sitting on benches eating lunch. People feed the squirrels there, so of course they are pretty tame, but we were just ignoring them because we have plenty of backyard squirrels of our own.  But the Asian tourists, oh my! Two of my kids were sitting on a bench by themselves, and the tourists were practically on top of them trying to take pictures of and get close to the squirrels. My kids couldn't get out of the way fast enough.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

A squirrel used to use our mailbox as a food storage shed.  I saw him open the mail box and retrieve a muffin.  It's funny because for awhile I was finding various baked goods in my mail box.  Stuff like hot dog buns, cookies, and muffins.  I thought it was some weird kid prank or something.  Although even that didn't seem likely because I never see kids around here.  Then one day I saw the squirrel doing that!

 

That's hilarious! They're smart little buggers.

 

My dad had a pet squirrel when he was a kid; it lived in the house and used to ride around on the dog.  (They also had a pig who slept on the front porch, lol). When I was little, there was a really tame squirrel that would come to our back door every morning to get his share of breakfast cereal. He would sit very patiently outside the door, but if we didn't open it, he would climb up the screen, look in the window, and tap to get our attention. My kids would LOVE to have a pet squirrel, or even just a tame one who would come to the door for treats, but sadly our dogs would not approve.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I don't know a good way to get rid of squirrels except for having a fenced yard and a lab to chase them out OR a BB gun, which isn't legal to fire in city limits here.

 

I do know how to get rid of chipmunks though!

 

We used to have a neighbor who would feed them.  In the year after she put up a giant squirrel feeder the population of chipmunks increased by 100x.  Which would have been fine except we were temporarily caring for a dog who barked incessently at them.  I couldn't get rid of the dog (the dog's owner had cancer), so I decided to get rid of the chipmunks.  I got a 5 gallon bucket, filled it with water, topped the water with an inch of floating sunflower seeds, and made a ramp from a scrap board, trailing sunflower seeds up into the bucket.  I set it up on the porch under which a bunch of them lived.  They'd go up the ramp, fall in the bucket, and drown.  I killed two dozen of them in two days.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm with your dh. We had squirrels get into our attic and walls. There was no sleeping at night. They are also a huge fire (chew insulation off of wiring) and disease risk. We have been able to trap them and...dispose of them well enough that they haven't shown their furry little faces in our house again. The idea of squirrel proofing is a little funny. Once they have found out there is a warm dry place, they will find a way in again. You pretty much need to kill off every squirrel that has been in the lovely, warm home. Life traps with sunflower seeds stuck to a piece of bread or cracker will lure them in like nothing else. Then, you need to have a method of extermination because, as someone else pointed out, it tends to be illegal to relocate them. It is not illegal to kill them however.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The idea of squirrel proofing is a little funny. Once they have found out there is a warm dry place, they will find a way in again. You pretty much need to kill off every squirrel that has been in the lovely, warm home. Life traps with sunflower seeds stuck to a piece of bread or cracker will lure them in like nothing else. Then, you need to have a method of extermination because, as someone else pointed out, it tends to be illegal to relocate them. It is not illegal to kill them however.

 

This is not our experience nor the experience of the humane pest control companies that work with the wildlife rehabilitators. We live in an urban forest essentially. Skunks, raccoons, coyotes, bears, & the occasional cougar come through our neighbourhoods. Squirrels are just a small part of the fauna in our area.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

When we went to DC a few years ago we were sitting on benches eating lunch. People feed the squirrels there, so of course they are pretty tame, but we were just ignoring them because we have plenty of backyard squirrels of our own.  But the Asian tourists, oh my! Two of my kids were sitting on a bench by themselves, and the tourists were practically on top of them trying to take pictures of and get close to the squirrels. My kids couldn't get out of the way fast enough.

 

Squirrels on the mall be like this...

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My husband taught toddler DS that squirrels are evil. When we were newly married two of them jumped out of a bush and mugged him as he walked home from the grocery store eating peanuts. He's never quite gotten over the creepy feeling of having them scramble all over his body.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

We don't mind the ones that don't throw things at us or try nesting in our house. The ones I saw in California were fine, but the species of them up here in Alaska are MEAN little turds.

There are definitely mean ones in Sacramento :). When I was 10 we used to sit I under the pine trees after school until we got hit in the head repeatedly by squirrel-tossed pinecones. They'd strip out the seeds then lob them at us with remarkable accuracy!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I don't know a good way to get rid of squirrels except for having a fenced yard and a lab to chase them out OR a BB gun, which isn't legal to fire in city limits here.

 

I do know how to get rid of chipmunks though!

 

We used to have a neighbor who would feed them. In the year after she put up a giant squirrel feeder the population of chipmunks increased by 100x. Which would have been fine except we were temporarily caring for a dog who barked incessently at them. I couldn't get rid of the dog (the dog's owner had cancer), so I decided to get rid of the chipmunks. I got a 5 gallon bucket, filled it with water, topped the water with an inch of floating sunflower seeds, and made a ramp from a scrap board, trailing sunflower seeds up into the bucket. I set it up on the porch under which a bunch of them lived. They'd go up the ramp, fall in the bucket, and drown. I killed two dozen of them in two days.

Now I know what I'm doing this spring! We also have a chipmunk problem (we didn't have one until our cat passed away).
Link to comment
Share on other sites

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

 

We have a small stand of trees in the backyard so we get lots of squirrels, though they seem to have gone down in number over the last few years. I don't think it's due to our and the neighbor's cats--those squirrels are fearless. We had so much fun watching them trying to get into the birdfeeder when we first put it up. It's one of those really small, clear plastic ones that suctions to the window. Just big enough for finches and such, though mourning doves can manage to bend their bodies in such a way as to be able to reach the seeds. Mockingbirds and bluejays can't though. The feeder is far enough from the deck railings that the squirrels can't reach it no matter how hard they try. But it's hilarious to see one jump, hit the glass and slide down. Every spring there's always at least one young squirrel who has to try it out. :D

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I laughed out loud. Legit laughed out loud.

 

I also got a little giggle because this so reminds me of my dad--and I don't have tons of great memories of him, so just know I extra appreciate the laugh--and his struggle with his neighborhood squirrel population. He had such trouble with them that he started trapping and releasing them, but he didn't seem to be making any headway. He realized that he wasn't taking them far enough away when he released them, and the squirrels were just coming back. So he has the bright idea to start marking the squirrels with a little spot of blaze orange spray paint, and he starts experimenting with how far away he has to go to release the squirrels and not have them come back (7-10 miles, for those wondering). Next thing you know, all the old guys in the neighborhood are in on the action. It becomes a contest to see how many they can trap. They all marked their squirrels with a different color paint (in case any traveled back--no cheating, didn't count if you caught a squirrel twice!). This went on for like a year. It was hilarious. They caught *hundreds* of squirrels. Hearing them discuss their squirrel-trapping escapades, you'd have thought they were psyched for the Super Bowl.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

That's. Freakin'. Awesome. Lol!

I laughed out loud. Legit laughed out loud.

I also got a little giggle because this so reminds me of my dad--and I don't have tons of great memories of him, so just know I extra appreciate the laugh--and his struggle with his neighborhood squirrel population. He had such trouble with them that he started trapping and releasing them, but he didn't seem to be making any headway. He realized that he wasn't taking them far enough away when he released them, and the squirrels were just coming back. So he has the bright idea to start marking the squirrels with a little spot of blaze orange spray paint, and he starts experimenting with how far away he has to go to release the squirrels and not have them come back (7-10 miles, for those wondering). Next thing you know, all the old guys in the neighborhood are in on the action. It becomes a contest to see how many they can trap. They all marked their squirrels with a different color paint (in case any traveled back--no cheating, didn't count if you caught a squirrel twice!). This went on for like a year. It was hilarious. They caught *hundreds* of squirrels. Hearing them discuss their squirrel-trapping escapades, you'd have thought they were psyched for the Super Bowl.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Your DH is right to want the squirrels out immediately.

 

My BIL once went on vacation and while he was traveling a squirrel got into his house.  It apparently couldn't figure out how to get out.  It gnawed giant gaping holes in every window and door frame, destroyed the kitchen cabinets, pooped and peed on all the floors, and chewed up the electrical system.  The house was TRASHED!  He spent almost as much repairing the damage as he had paid to buy the home a year or so earlier.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Absolutely nobody can figure out how they are getting into the basement. We've had everybody from a hired architect to Hired Killers look.

 

That is truly bizarre that they can't find the entry point.  Usually it is fairly obvious and easy to repair.  We owned a 110 year old farmhouse that looked like a cheese grater when we purchased it, and were able to squirrel proof it.  

 

An architect is of less than little help for squirrel proofing, and if your pest control company wasn't able to find the entry/exit point, I'd question their skill.  Try hiring a handy-man or looking for a pest control company that offers a "maintenance plan."   It is in their best interest to fix the problem rather than repeatedly having to come out to your home. 

 

Oh, and make sure to check the chimney to see if there are any holes in your chimney cap.  They can travel the entire distance and exit through one of the ducts in the basement.  Tricky buggers.  

Link to comment
Share on other sites

ugh I hate rodents of any kind.  Squirrels look cute but they can chew up wires and burn your dang house down.  We live out in the country, have a ton of trees around our house, and a lot of squirrels.  I've been informed that I've terrified more than a few people by sprinting out into the yard with my .22 shooting squirrels out of the trees when said people happen to by driving by.  My husband is hopeful that since I have a reputation as the crazy lady with a rifle that no one will ever try to rob us or break into our house at night :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This is not our experience nor the experience of the humane pest control companies that work with the wildlife rehabilitators. We live in an urban forest essentially. Skunks, raccoons, coyotes, bears, & the occasional cougar come through our neighbourhoods. Squirrels are just a small part of the fauna in our area.

 

I had a fawn born in my fenced backyard. Seems mama deer throught it would be a safe place to raise her young one. We named it Snickers and had to leave the gate open so that it could leave. Dog had to be kept out of the yard for a while. We have plenty of experience with critters. Unfortunately, that includes squirrel infestation in our house. The humane pest control companies that I called who specialize in wildlife rehabilitation and have the lovely websites that tell you they can squirrelproof your home and get rid of you problem sing a different tune when you speak to them in person. At that point, they tell you that your options are to have them trapped and released somewhere (by a professional who is allowed to trap and release legally/not sure why they are allowed and the regular citizen is not) a minimum of 10 miles from the capture site because they WILL return otherwise or exterminate the ones who have found their way in. It seems squirrels know a good thing when they find it and they will chew their way in another way if you close their hole to their home. Since they have the ability to gnaw holes in the wood or vinyl siding to access your house, they will do it. The ones who haven't found the lovely comforts of human habitats are fine. But those who have decided to take up residence inside the human abode need to go. Fortunately, there are plenty who do not make the discovery that human houses are the nicest places to live. I must say that I really was impressed with the pest control companies I called. They were very up front about everything, including their fees. They basically told me it was not worth it to hire them to come for a squirrel infestation. The cost is astronomical, and it is simple to handle on your own.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I don't understand it myself.  We have them all over the place here, and I think they're adorable.  :001_wub:

 

 

 

I have a love-hate relationship with squirrels, although, admittedly, I think it's more love than hate.  

 

I mostly have a problem with them in spring, when I'm trying to plant veggies and things, and they are all about digging up my garden, searching for their dang nuts.  Yes, we have two huge nut trees, a hickory and black walnut, and I think the nuts just make the squirrels  giddy.   My favorite squirrel is so bold and comes up on our patio, as if he owns the place.  We'll open the door, thinking he'll take off, and he just stands there, looking at us.  So cheeky.  Once this past December, I caught him looking in our patio window (it's a covered patio), just staring at the Christmas tree, longingly.  And I almost wanted to invite him in.  LOL.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm with your DH. Squirrels have caused literally tens of thousands of dollars of damage to our house; chewing through support beams to get in, making the house structurally unsound, getting into the walls and stealing insulation, chewing through wiring... They're like cats. So cute and fluffy and will happily murder you if given the chance.

I may have some issues when it comes to squirrels, lol.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm with your DH. Squirrels have caused literally tens of thousands of dollars of damage to our house; chewing through support beams to get in, making the house structurally unsound, getting into the walls and stealing insulation, chewing through wiring... They're like cats. So cute and fluffy and will happily murder you if given the chance.

 

I may have some issues when it comes to squirrels, lol.

 

 

See, our house is concrete, and it's just not tempting for the squirrels to gnaw on.  Although, of course, they have all of the aforementioned nuts...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

When we went to DC a few years ago we were sitting on benches eating lunch. People feed the squirrels there, so of course they are pretty tame, but we were just ignoring them because we have plenty of backyard squirrels of our own.  But the Asian tourists, oh my! Two of my kids were sitting on a bench by themselves, and the tourists were practically on top of them trying to take pictures of and get close to the squirrels. My kids couldn't get out of the way fast enough.

 

It's all what you're used to.  Where we are living now (in Central America), we'll go on picnics and see little armadillos everywhere, scurrying along in the grass.  My family continues to be enthralled by them, and will often follow them, taking close-up photos, etc.  The locals are probably looking at us thinking, "What's the big deal about armadillos?"

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I've been teaching all the neighborhood squirrels to take a peanut from my hand. :coolgleamA:  The bravest one is a female that has been coming to us for the past three years.  Sometimes she just sits on the deck railing and won't come to the door when I hold out the peanut.  She's lazy and wants me to bring it to her!  So I have to actually go outside and hand this diva squirrel her peanut!!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...