being "shadowed" in your homeschool

[EmilyGF]

I live in a community with very few homeschoolers. Additionally, I am friends with a lot of Germans (who mostly have never before met a homeschooler and think it is very odd). I've been asked a number of times by people if they could sit in on a homeschool day and someone is going to actually come "watch" us this coming week.

 

Now, I think she will find our school pretty weird. The kids are fairly independent, there is often a toddler climbing on my head, people take "breaks" to go practice piano or build a railroad for aforementioned toddler to play with. I "tutor", I don't "teach". We discuss books and don't do (assigned) projects. 

 

Have you ever let someone "shadow" you for a day? Any ideas for how to make it go smoothly? (As in, how to make it one of our good days and not an off day?)

 

Just want to add that this is someone who is caring and kind. She is a teacher from Germany who is sincerely interested in learning about things that are different in America. 

 

Emily

[RootAnn]

I haven't had anyone do this, but I remember asking a long-time homeschooler if I could do this with her school back before I started. She agreed, but we never actually got around to scheduling it. Looking back, she was incredibly gracious about it. I'm not sure I would have agreed!

 

Kudos to you.  :grouphug:   :lurk5:

[Peaceful Isle]

You are very kind to allow her to come and watch. :) I'm not sure I would be up to being watched. I just feel like my home is my comfort.

 

I would have the work all planned out, pages torn out and put in notebooks, and activities for younger ones planned out as well. Just so it does go smoothly. Maybe add in a snack time, or if you do fun activities like crafts or show and tell, you could do it the day she watches. That way, she could see your kids personalities and see that homeschooled kids are awesome ;)

[...................]

Bless you.  Unless I knew this person truly loved me unconditionally, I would not do that.  And I am a very confident, open, what-you-see-is-what-you-get person.  

 

 

[Farrar]

I did sort of once. We were featured in an article about homeschooling. The photographer came and spent three whole hours watching us, watching us do spelling and reading aloud and a little math and then went with us to the park. You would see the photos of my kids getting whirled around on the tire swing and of ds hanging off the sofa and other ds doing an ETC workbook with me standing behind him.

 

It was okay if a little odd. I knew the stance for the article and I felt pretty confident we were going to come off fine in it (and thus that homeschooling would as well).

 

I think you're really gracious to do it, as others said. If you like and mostly trust this person, and want to help her have this cultural exchange of sorts then I think it will probably be fine.

[Kendall]

I think it would be very hard to do normal with someone watching.  I also think I would have a very hard time not asking the person to help!  "Please listen to this child read and write down the words they don't know how to pronounce or don't know the meaning of and if you suspect they might not know what that sentence meant ask them to tell you what it meant and if you come across a thing or place they/you don't know then look it up and after that could you give this other child spelling words and..."  

 

On the other hand you could just include them in all of the learning you are all doing and they could bring their knowledge into it.  

 

[maize]

I would bribe my kids: if you guys work hard today so things go smoothly while our visitor is here we will all have ice cream afterwards.

 

:D

[Reefgazer]

I would make sure I had a good plan for the day (not necessarily "school", but a plan that would demonstrate well how a solid homeschooling program can work).  Probably make sure everybody get s good night's sleep, too, because you know how cranky can throw a kid off!

[Seeking Squirrels]

We did it once with friends of ours considering homeschooling. That was last year for K though, so not nearly the same as a full day with multiple kids. I copied any papers we were using so her daughter could do them with us. We included them in the day vs just mom sitting and watching. But I'm sure that would also look different depending on reasons for the shadowing. I don't know if I could do it just because someone was curious. I would have to know them (and their intentions) very, very well.

[rebbyribs]

Not at all the same, but we're with a charter school that sends a teacher out to check up on us each month (1-2 hours for each visit) and collect work samples.  Even after a year of monthly visits, my kids act like they've never seen another human being and cannot wait to tell her all about everything they've been doing. They show off. The teacher works with them pretty well, but I don't think we could have a normal school day with her around.  

 

I wonder if it might be possible to set up a webcam for more of a "fly-on-the-wall" view.

[mamakelly]

 we're with a charter school that sends a teacher out to check up on us each month (1-2 hours for each visit) and collect work samples.  Even after a year of monthly visits, my kids act like they've never seen another human being and cannot wait to tell her all about everything they've been doing.

 

 

Haha I can so relate! My kids drag our facilitator around the house showing her everything, it's funny and annoying at the same time!

 

[Penelope]

.

[AimeeM]

I think it would be very hard to do normal with someone watching.  I also think I would have a very hard time not asking the person to help!  "Please listen to this child read and write down the words they don't know how to pronounce or don't know the meaning of and if you suspect they might not know what that sentence meant ask them to tell you what it meant and if you come across a thing or place they/you don't know then look it up and after that could you give this other child spelling words and..."  

 

On the other hand you could just include them in all of the learning you are all doing and they could bring their knowledge into it.  

This. During this season in our lives, I'm not sure I could resist saying, "Hey, while you're here, you can play with the Toddler while I do literature! When you're done putting him down for a nap, DS5 needs to be drilled on his addition facts, and then while I'm working with him on his phonics lesson, DD13 needs to be sat on to finish her writing."....

[idnib]

I would only do it if the person was a friend or relative who was considering homeschooling, or who was already homeschooling but needed to make some changes and get ideas. I wouldn't do it to satisfy curiosity or for strangers.

 

You're very gracious.

[Cottonwood]

I would only do it if the person was a friend or relative who was considering homeschooling, or who was already homeschooling but needed to make some changes and get ideas. I wouldn't do it to satisfy curiosity or for strangers.

 

You're very gracious.

 

this is exactly my thinking.  It would just be such a distraction, and I'd probably have to consider the whole day a 'loss' as to what we'd actually accomplish that day.  All kids and moms are different, but we just can't get stuff done with people here, but if you can, that's great!  But yeah, just curiosity?  That would have to be a polite 'no' here.

[silver]

I'd only do it if she would pay to have a maid come beforehand to help me clean my house. :lol:

 

I would bribe my kids: if you guys work hard today so things go smoothly while our visitor is here we will all have ice cream afterwards.

:D

 

I work from home. Once when I was assigned a new manager, she wanted to meet me face to face. To make it easier on me, she took me out to lunch and told me I could bring my kids rather than getting a baby sitter. I think I had a toddler and a preschooler at the time. So I told them, "If you behave during lunch, I'll buy you some candy from the gas station on our way home."

 

They were delightful and very well behaved. As we were getting up to leave the restaurant, my preschooler said, in front of my manager, "Did we behave well enough to get candy?" :blushing:
 

[JudoMom]

I think this is awesome that you're willing to open your home and your life to her!  It's just one day, so it's not like you're sacrificing an entire year to this if the day goes poorly.

I would prep the kids, but I wouldn't worry too much about if it was an off day or an on day.  She wants to see a glimpse, so show her a glimpse.  Nothing ever goes perfectly all the time, so don't stress.

I'd also prep her for the differences she'll see, so she's not so shocked when the toddler climbs on your head ;).

 

[Shellydon]

I do this several times a year for people new to homeschooling. 

[Mom22ns]

I'm so impressed with those that have said "yes" to this. I've never been asked, nor did I ever asked. I did ask people to meet with me and show me some of the things they do. They pulled different curriculum off their shelves and a few catalogs and told me things they like and gave me suggestions. They even loaned me things to try to help me get started when I started suddenly. I have done the same. I always welcome anyone that wants to come over and talk about homeschooling. I'll fix tea or coffee and pull things off my shelves and pull some catalogs and talk about things we like and things that didn't work for us. I'll talk about some of the difference between homeschooling v B&M schools and how they can take advantage of their small class size, combining ages, learning in so many non-traditional ways. I show them the schedules I use, the record keeping I do, talk about the state laws.

 

I don't let them sit and watch me. That would just be creepy. :leaving:

[AmyontheFarm]

My best friend let me come over to observe.  It was good because it made me realize that even though we were best friends I wasn't into "Charlotte Mason" as much she was and I'm glad I realized it before I bought materials.  Ironically, her kids love coming here and my kids loving going there because it's just a different type of "classroom" experience  which is great when we have funerals and such, we can cover school for each other.  We use a lot of the same curriculum so it's easy for us to flow back and forth.

 

I have had someone come to my home but she talked and talked the whole time and didn't really get a chance to see how we did things because she would never shut up long enough for me to teach! LOL  When she left my eldest said out loud, "Well, today was a wash of a school day"  I laughed and had to agree.  My ds learned that day why I tell him to keep his stories for later and get back to work, it's school time.  He sort of got a dose of his own medicine.

[LMD]

I would bribe my kids: if you guys work hard today so things go smoothly while our visitor is here we will all have ice cream afterwards.

 

:D

brilliant!

[LMD]

my best friend is planning to come shadow us next week! She's very seriously considering pulling her DD and homeschooling. I trust her with my life. I'm taking notes from this thread!

[FloridaLisa]

I've done this before.  I can't say that our day was typical because I was super prepared and super cognizant that someone was watching so we all had to be on  It didn't really affect my kids.  They kept going as usual and this friend asked them some questions now and again. She really was interested in seeing some of what we used and I carved time out of our lessons so that she and I could talk.  I think letting her come and explaining how each day may look a bit different.  

 

Lisa

[Sebastian (a lady)]

I went over to a friend's house years ago when I was thinking of homeschooling and was trying to figure it out.  A friend from church graciously let me come over and see what they did during the day.  I think I was there for a couple hours.  I did listen to her oldest daughter read.  It was actually helpful to see that a lot of what she was doing was a natural extension of parenting.

 

We actually lived in Germany when we started homeschooling.  I think the things people were most curious about were how we would teach upper levels of high school, how we got our curriculum (ie, did a government school send it to us), and how we knew if the kids were learning.  Many of our German friends had university and advanced degrees, so they had personal experience with Gymnasium.  The teachers there are often well trained, and the students have their eye on the demands of the Abitur.  So a lot of the doubt about homeschooling was in part doubts that it wouldn't prepare students for the Abitur and would shut them out of university. 

 

I hope the visit goes well.  You might find that they are as interested in knowing how you pick curriculum as in actually seeing it in action.

[redsquirrel]

I get a LOT of people asking me about what a 'normal' homeschooling day is like. I usually encourage them to look at some homeschooling blogs. Those often have pictures and descriptions of what people are doing.

 

Didn't SWB have a blog post of 'a day in the life' type thing?

 

I also stress that there is no one 'typical' homeschool, just as there is no typical way that families work. Just as every family is a little different, does bedtimes and meals and everything a little differently, so with homeschooling.

[Miss Tick]

I would limit my plans for what will be done that day. I would also intentionally include her - play a game or two, have her take the English spelling test, participate in a dialog?, listen to somebody read-aloud, whatever makes sense.

 

If your dc will be enhanced by a visitor acknowledge that up front by having them present an art show, recite or read a poem, review previous history work, or something along those lines.

 

You've signed up for demonstrating a homeschool day, but it is okay if it is a bit window-dressed and not a "typical" day.

 

How nice of you to allow a visitor!

[8filltheheart]

Emily, 

 

I just realized you were the OP for this topic.   I would find having someone come in my home incredibly stressful simply b/c I would want things to be representative of a good day.  I am a very private person, so people in my home is something I don't like anyway.  (I found having a maid more stressful than cleaning my house on my own. :P)  So my perspective might be off, but with the fragile state you and your children are currently in, is this something you really want to consider?  I would really want to know how the kids feel about it as well b/c they might not be ready to cope with that sort of stress.

[Sebastian (a lady)]

Emily, 

 

I just realized you were the OP for this topic.   I would find having someone come in my home incredibly stressful simply b/c I would want things to be representative of a good day.  I am a very private person, so people in my home is something I don't like anyway.  (I found having a maid more stressful than cleaning my house on my own. :p)  So my perspective might be off, but with the fragile state you and your children are currently in, is this something you really want to consider?  I would really want to know how the kids feel about it as well b/c they might not be ready to cope with that sort of stress.

 

I had a similar thought.  You might want to make it less of shadowing for a day and more of a come over for coffee and cake and I'll tell you a bit more about what we do.  Show some books, maybe let her watch a lesson or two (only if you want to), but be free to say that of course, having a guest observer does change the dynamic.

 

I have a tough time doing homeschool even when grandparents are around.  And homeschooling when we had a regular housekeeper was really hard to get used to.  I used to keep moving from room to room so we weren't in the same room she was working in.  Too distracting.

 

[Momto4inSoCal]

My cousin is thinking about homeschooling and asked me if she could do this. I said yes but my household would be totally different than hers. I have 2yo twins running around while I school my 8 and 9yo and she would be doing school with a 9yo and 7yo. I was thinking of having her come while the twins nap and I do school. The hard thing for me would be to not talk. We like to talk a lot and my kids really need my attention during school time. 

[indigomama]

I had an acquaintance ask me just this weekend if she could come "shadow" me. I told her (she had a job in public schools) that it's going to look very different than what she is used to as school, but I was open to the idea. I think she's going to be very surprised, haha.

[Coco_Clark]

I've done it twice. Once a mom I hardly knew that was interested in and curious about homeschooling, and another time a dear friend who for reasons we won't get into spent several days at my house watching me parent.

 

I'm an extremely unapologetic, take me as I am type, so being "on display" didn't bother me. I suppose in example a. I made sure all work was properly prepared so that I would seem...you know...prepared. But I try for that most days. In example b much of the point was in her seeing realistic parenting and bad days are right in there, so I let them be. I suppose in both cases I knew they were coming with an expectation of approval. If I knew they were against homeschooling I wouldn't really want them over to judge me :p

 

It IS rather exhausting. Instead of spending my breaks on the boards, or folding laundry in blessed silence, I was offering coffee or water or chatting while I worked. Chatting drains me.

[Sahamamama]

I live in a community with very few homeschoolers. Additionally, I am friends with a lot of Germans (who mostly have never before met a homeschooler and think it is very odd). I've been asked a number of times by people if they could sit in on a homeschool day and someone is going to actually come "watch" us this coming week.

 

Now, I think she will find our school pretty weird. The kids are fairly independent, there is often a toddler climbing on my head, people take "breaks" to go practice piano or build a railroad for aforementioned toddler to play with. I "tutor", I don't "teach". We discuss books and don't do (assigned) projects. 

 

Have you ever let someone "shadow" you for a day? Any ideas for how to make it go smoothly? (As in, how to make it one of our good days and not an off day?)

 

Just want to add that this is someone who is caring and kind. She is a teacher from Germany who is sincerely interested in learning about things that are different in America. 

 

Emily

 

No, but I do remember asking someone who homeschooled years ago if I could observe a day. She just laughed and said something like, "Well, you probably won't be interested after watching my nutty crew for a day!" Initially, she seemed to reluctantly agree, but it never happened (because I sensed she didn't really want to do it). We were friends, though, but we just didn't get to the "shadow" day.

 

It's okay. I was asking because, at the time, I had one little child (she was a baby then), and we were genuinely curious and sincerely interested in homeschooling as time went on. We wondered, "How does that work? What's a day like? How does a mother manage?" This particular family had four adorable, friendly, interesting, funny, and sweet children (they really were adorable), ranging in age from 10 to 1 -- girl, boy, girl, girl. They seemed happy at home, were learning plenty, and had opportunities to do unique things. And, I'll admit it, they had the bluest eyes! So blue! You could just look at their eyes ALL DAY. LOL.

 

I would say to just be who you are. Don't clean the house any cleaner than it would normally be, or dress the kids up any more than they would normally be -- just do what you do. If you don't do "your normal," your German friend isn't going to get a true glimpse of your homeschooling and mothering life.

 

There are studio portraits and there are casual snap shots. Let her time with you be a snap shot.

[Sahamamama]

I think it would be very hard to do normal with someone watching.  I also think I would have a very hard time not asking the person to help!  "Please listen to this child read and write down the words they don't know how to pronounce or don't know the meaning of and if you suspect they might not know what that sentence meant ask them to tell you what it meant and if you come across a thing or place they/you don't know then look it up and after that could you give this other child spelling words and..."  

 

On the other hand you could just include them in all of the learning you are all doing and they could bring their knowledge into it.  

 

Yeah, that would be me! Can someone say "free German lessons?" Eins! Zwei! Drei! Vier! Fünf!

[EmilyGF]

This story has a happy ending!

 

I realized that this was causing me a lot of stress last week ( my hubby was also traveling, then putting on a conference, and we were hosting an out of town visitor during part of that time, and my hormones were wacky).

 

I spent about an hour or two early last week trying to make things run more smoothly in case she visited and the changes I made actually worked!!! Our school has been much more smooth and peaceful.

 

Then, she came yesterday, since this week has been peaceful, and I made a few more changes I had been lazy to do (move our tables back into the guest room which is sunnier), and the day went really well. It sort of gave me a vision for what a day can be like when I focus on school instead of getting distracted. Also, we had planned a picnic at the park at noon, so that meant the day could not drag on.

 

So, I'm really happy with how things turned out. Thanks for the input.

 

Emily

[Sebastian (a lady)]

That's great. Glad the visit went well and you discovered some positive tweaks.

 

You're making me miss the German fall. So crisp and cool.

[LMD]

glad it went well!

 

We had our shadow today. All went well too, pretty normal morning. We did a typical morning schedule, then chatted about what she'd observed, lots of questions, while the kids had a break.

 

Coincidentally we also had a planned park event so had to be done by lunch. I think a half day shadow is perfect. :)