Neat freaks, come tell me how you do it

[Storygirl]

Our problem is going to be that we are out of the house a LOT.   The boys are in a lot of activities and classes outside the home.

 

We have dogs.  

 

2 hours' notice is fine if the house is already clean and if I can collect the dogs and get them out of the house for the showing, but if I am an hour away, even 2 hours isn't enough.  

 

I have seen some houses list 24 hours notice needed.  I think I can just explain to the realtor what our crazy schedule is like and ask that something like 24 hours might be needed or something......not sure how that all works.

 

Dawn

 

Our house is about to go on the market. As in next week, hopefully. Keeping it clean is going to be a nightmare. About five years ago, our house was on the market for nine months while I lived in it while homeschooling my oldest and corralling three preschoolers. In our area, the home actually must be spotless, and it would take me a couple of hours to set things up for a showing, even when my home was being kept very clean. Honestly hours. I would go through each room and make sure it was just the way that it was supposed to be.

 

One day I came home after a showing and got a comment from the realtor that there were streaky marks on my kitchen island that day (I had cleaned it, but one of the kids must have run their hands across it on the way out the door) and that I should try my best to do it better. I had of course spend hours cleaning that day. I might have cried. Another terrible day was on December 23. Yes, someone called that morning and requested a showing for that afternoon. I know I cried that day. We had planned to make Christmas cookies with the children. After some panic, DH and I decided to do the cookies anyway and then cleaned like crazy and got out of the door minutes before the showing.

 

I was always trying to figure out what to do with my four little ones during the showings. I learned not to spend that time at the grocery after I arrived home one day, piled bags and bags all over the counters, with hungry kids hanging all over me wanting their lunch (it was late for lunch), only to have the doorbell ring. The prospective buyers were standing there, late for their appointment, and I had to let them in. This was not unusual. More than once I stayed out for the allotted time, only to have the people show up after I was already back home. A nightmare, I'm telling you. For nine months.

 

I'm truly dreading going through this again. This home is much larger than the other one, and my kids are bigger and messier and harder to contain in one area of the house while I work on the rest. We are also busy and away from home for hours most days. I will have to have the house in showing order daily, just in case. I'm hoping for a quick sale this time, but you can never predict these things.

[Storygirl]

About having a 24 hour notice -- We did eventually do that, but our realtor always encouraged us never to turn down a showing, no matter what, because we might be turning away the one who would buy it. So we had the 24 hour notice, but we still got same-day calls, and we would accept them.

 

Also, I think it is just easier for some people to keep things clean than others. I really have to work at it, even when I have a routine to follow. It is never easy for me.

[TammyS]

For this situation, I would pack every single thing that you can live without.  Keep only the ubernecessary dishes, pots, and clothes, etc.  Pack every decoration, picture, book, etc.  Make your house almost empty (like a model home).  It will be much easier to keep clean that way.

This is how I have been too.  However, twice this month I have had people I like call and ask if they can drop by since they are in the area.  I have said no because our house was really in worse shape than I would feel comfortable having them see.  There are some people I wouldn't bat an eye, even if my house were a disaster, but I would like it to be presentable for those other folks.

 

But that isn't the main reason I am writing, and I can live with some mess and have people over in some sort of disarray, but we are selling the house.  How in the world do you keep the house spotless 100% of the time for showing?

 

We have sold 3 houses in the past, but two of them we were OUT of when we sold them.  The other one was sold when the market was so hot, that even a bit of mess didn't deter folks from buying.

 

Dawn

 

[Ellie]

 

The other thing that has helped me is to erase the idea that cleaning isn't a continuous thing. Example: I clean my bedroom thoroughly. And it needs upkeep. Huh. That was a new idea to me. But one thorough cleaning really does help as long as you do the upkeep. (Kind of obvious but this rocked my world.)

 

 

:iagree:

 

We seem to think that we only have to clean the kitchen once, or do the laundry once, or pick up toys in the living room once, and we're done.

 

:lol:

 

I wish my mother/grandmother had done more training, but they didn't, and happily, God gave me a dh who was pretty tidy, and children who didn't trash the house, and a small budget so we couldn't hoard toys and stuff, and I'm a fast learner. :D

 

I learned early on that I needed to (1) take my shower at night, (2) make my bed and get dressed as soon as I got up, (3) wash my hair in the morning right after breakfast, and (4) always keep the kitchen clean. Just doing those things made a big difference.

 

A few months after we started hsing, I realized that I needed to have one day a week for major cleaning, so Friday became that day: all the laundry, all the dusting/vacuuming, clean the bathrooms, wash the car (sometimes, lol), everything. I kept the kitchen clean always, and we generally kept things picked up (I should have worked more on keeping the dining room table picked up).

 

File--Don't Pile! helped with the paper clutter, and a few months doing the Sidetracked Home Executives helped with the rest (I'm generally pretty tidy).

 

I found something in Proverbs 31 that got my attention and inspired me to Do It Now: I was just reading through it again, and there was the list of all the things the Virtuous Woman does daily (verses 13-24), and it seems overwhelming to me--up at the crack of dawn, spinning and weaving and feeding her household and giving good things to her servants (her servants?!), buys a field and farms it, taking care of the poor...ACK! I have heard so many people teach about that, and so many women make snarky comments, as if she's an overachiever that none of us could really emulate. But on this one day, I actually noticed v. 25: "Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she smiles at the future." And I had this epiphany: Besides the fact that God would not give us an impossible role model, her achievements were not the important thing; most of them would have been common at the time and culture in which she lived. The important thing was that she did them, and that because she did them, she didn't have to worry about anything unexpected that might happen. For me, that means that when I'm driving my car, the very first time I look at the gas gauge and think to myself, "I wonder if I should get gas?" I stop for gas at the next gas station; and I take all my accumulated junk into the house with me when I get home, such that if an emergency comes up, I can jump in the car and it's ready to go, even if I have to pick up the pastor's wife or MIL. I fold the clothes immediately when they come out of the dryer and put them away; that means that not only do I not have piles of laundry lying randomly over the house, but all of us have clean clothes in our dressers and in our closets when we need them (which is also why I iron my clothes *right now*). When I look in the outdoor-bird food container and notice that it's getting low, I go to the store and get it so that next week when four unexpected doctors' appointments come up, the birds have food.

 

So there you go. :D

[BlsdMama]

Do you just walk around all day cleaning, picking up, wiping down?

 

I find it exhausting and frustrating. I feel like I could just do it all day and never sit down.

 

How in the world do you keep a pristine home?

 

Dawn

WHY would you ever want to be? Those I'd us who struggle with cleanliness issues can't walk into a room and just sit. We sit, then we look.... And when we look, all we see is a pair of socks on the floor, dust on the mantle, toys strewn about. So up you get.

 

Two things have helped me. The first is a book I read where the husband asked the wife to JUST focus on the kids and doing school in the day and NOT clean. The second is having this many children do that I can't achieve and maintain a spotless house anymore. It still makes me feel anxious, but I'm dealing with it better more and more. Another is that realizing I drive my kids nuts.

 

And, yes, I clean up almost all day long... because, for example, almost everyone in my house is asleep, the house is SILENT, I have a good cup of coffee, and I just noticed smudges on my fireplace window. Nothing about that is fun.

 

If you can relax in a house that is picked uppish but not spotless, I say EMBRACE IT!!! That's healthy.

[BlsdMama]

Um, FREAK is the operative term there.

 

No, seriously, they aren't freaks, but do seem to have a few things in common.

 

1. Loads less stuff. Just close your eyes and imagine the house of a neat freak you know. It's not just that they don't have toys and books. They also have less furniture, less kitchen stuff, etc. There are open spaces through their homes between the furniture pieces (as opposed to some of us, who have the walls lined with furniture, one piece right against another, etc).

 

2. Generally speaking, they don't have hobby stuff (no knitting, sewing, homeschool projects, etc). Or they have dedicated spaces for this with a elaborate organizational systems.

 

3. They have trash cans all over the house and throw things away obsessively.

 

4. Their kids stuff is confined in one way or another. Sometimes, it's a dedicated playroom, or toy boxes in some space, whatever. But the kid stuff is confined.

 

5. They know where everything goes. As soon as they get something, they decide what it's home is and they put it there.

 

6. They don't bring things home a lot.

 

I try to practice some of these things, but not terribly successfully.

 

My best tip for someone trying to get it under control: just pick one thing that is making you the craziest and work out a system (any system) for dealing with that. Do not do anything else until you make that system second nature. Once you do have it second nature, pick the next thing making you crazy.

 

Lol! I would not have associated neatness with stuff phobia, but you nailed it. #1 is especially dead on. Right now DH is waiting to make benches. Ours were showing a lot of wear and we j knew someone who wanted them before we moved so we gave them away. He's busy with more important projects right now so the benches have to wait. So, currently we sit on CHAIRS! TWELVE CHAIRS!!! You can laugh but it's very chaotic for me.... they are never all pushed in, they don't match ( and not in a cute, eclectic sort of way) and it means two tables instead of one. I have coffee in my living room right now because it steals my peace, lol.

 

I really can differentiate the difference between major and minor, I promise, but it is something I talk myself into and out of.... And kitchen gadgets. Trust me, I don't think a true freak has them. Simply having a mixer drives me nuts because I feel we have a spoon. Good enough. Less stuff overall means less maintenance means less work. It could be just me but I don't love having to clean. So the less stuff I have the less I have to do.

 

But in a side note, surely you all HAVE ah home for everything, don't you? I mean, it may not always BE there, mine isn't always either, but it has a home, a place it belongs, yeah?

[TammyS]

Not necessarily. Sometimes things get bought because they are decorative, but a particular place isn't considered for them.  Sometimes things are temporary (right now in my LR there are some small boxes for curtain hold backs that got bought two weeks ago and haven't been put up yet, also a friend just gave me a set of the BOB books for my 3 year old but I haven't yet gotten around to setting up a homeschool area for him, and I have some books that I'm selling so they are under my coffee table).  Sometimes the need to organize something doesn't become apparent until it's way past the need (such as, not naming any names, when a knitter gets a few balls of yarn, then a sweaters worth, then a few more balls, then two sweaters worth because they were on sale, then goes to the local yarn store closing sale, then looks around one day and realizes that she has all this yarn and it doesn't have some place to go - in defense of brain dead knitter, she does eventuallllllly get around to an organizational system for all of this yarn once she stops living in denial about how much yarn she really has).  Sometimes, things have a place, but the home is so small compared to the amount of people/stuff being served that it never seems like it, even when things are put away.

But in a side note, surely you all HAVE ah home for everything, don't you? I mean, it may not always BE there, mine isn't always either, but it has a home, a place it belongs, yeah?

 

[1GirlTwinBoys]

I have a home for everything. :001_smile:

[BlsdMama]

Not necessarily. Sometimes things get bought because they are decorative, but a particular place isn't considered for them. Sometimes things are temporary (right now in my LR there are some small boxes for curtain hold backs that got bought two weeks ago and haven't been put up yet, also a friend just gave me a set of the BOB books for my 3 year old but I haven't yet gotten around to setting up a homeschool area for him, and I have some books that I'm selling so they are under my coffee table). Sometimes the need to organize something doesn't become apparent until it's way past the need (such as, not naming any names, when a knitter gets a few balls of yarn, then a sweaters worth, then a few more balls, then two sweaters worth because they were on sale, then goes to the local yarn store closing sale, then looks around one day and realizes that she has all this yarn and it doesn't have some place to go - in defense of brain dead knitter, she does eventuallllllly get around to an organizational system for all of this yarn once she stops living in denial about how much yarn she really has). Sometimes, things have a place, but the home is so small compared to the amount of people/stuff being served that it never seems like it, even when things are put away.

Lol, I knit.... but, before the move it all had a home. I had a moderate size cabinet with a glass door so I could also admire the collection, lol. But I admit I rarely buy without a specific pattern in mind. Granted sometimes it doesn't get knit up.... I'm the same with my fabric.

 

You'll be horrified to know I haven't unpacked any fabric, yarn, anything since moving specially because I don't have a space/ home for it.

 

I liked the quote about cleaning and properties but I have to say it's not true for all of us.

I HAVE to do 3-4 loads of laundry a day..... I can't just double up the next day. Same with dishes. Please imagine what it looks like to skip doing dishes for three meals at my house. I HATE that we spend a normal three plus hours a day on house maintenance/ cleaning but if I want to spend daily time with the kids daily, then the house has to be maintained.

 

Let's say we didn't sweep or vacuum at least once.... Do I really want that kind of wear and tear on our carpet or floors? We're hard enough on the house with 24 pattering feet.

 

Sometimes neat freaks aren't freaks because they choose it over other things. They choose it so they can find time to enjoy those other things.

[TammyS]

I liked the quote about cleaning and properties but I have to say it's not true for all of us.

I HAVE to do 3-4 loads of laundry a day..... I can't just double up the next day. Same with dishes. Please imagine what it looks like to skip doing dishes for three meals at my house. I HATE that we spend a normal three plus hours a day on house maintenance/ cleaning but if I want to spend daily time with the kids daily, then the house has to be maintained.

 

Let's say we didn't sweep or vacuum at least once.... Do I really want that kind of wear and tear on our carpet or floors? We're hard enough on the house with 24 pattering feet.

 

Sometimes neat freaks aren't freaks because they choose it over other things. They choose it so they can find time to enjoy those other things.

 

24 feet....so 10 kids?  You don't find that you can organize a crew that size into a routine that breaks the housework down faster?  I can't imagine what so many of you are doing for 3 hours each day.

 

We do have to sweep every day, because we seem to drag an unholy amount of dirt inside, despite the fact that we don't wear shoes in the house.  We seldom vacuum, but we only have 1 carpeted room anyway, and we don't enter it from outdoors.

 

We moved last summer and for the first time in my life I have a dishwasher.  So, so, so worth it!  We just pile dishes in there through the day, then run it overnight.  We used to spend over an hour per day (when you total it from 3 meals, just washing dishes).  WHY didn't I buy one years ago?

 

I do 1-3 loads of laundry most days (depending on weather).  I don't even notice this, really.  I've pretty much got my laundry system on auto-pilot and I actually like to hang clothes outside (call me weird, but there is something wonderful about a well hung line of clothes).

[DawnM]

This is our plan.

 

I am trying to organize and pick up now and have started packing boxes and bins and putting them in the basement.

 

But I am also trying to get in to some better habits.

 

I at least want to keep my living spaces tidy for any guests who might drop in.

 

For selling, we may be somewhat up a creak.  I am simply not a spotless person, in fact, my clean is someone else's "mess."  I just don't see it.  

 

When I was selling my last house, two friends came over to help me get ready.  They made a HUGE deal about wiping down the inside of my cupboards.  Apparently they were dirty.  I don't even see that.  If it has doors, I close them and even the brief moment I open them, I just don't see it.

 

I am trying to get DH to agree to rent a townhouse while the house is on the market.  We can clean to spotless perfection and walk away.  No dogs, no kids, no mess.

 

Dawn

 

 

For this situation, I would pack every single thing that you can live without.  Keep only the ubernecessary dishes, pots, and clothes, etc.  Pack every decoration, picture, book, etc.  Make your house almost empty (like a model home).  It will be much easier to keep clean that way.

 

[Ellie]

 

Sometimes neat freaks aren't freaks because they choose it over other things. They choose it so they can find time to enjoy those other things.

 

:iagree: :iagree: :iagree:

[Anne in CA]

I became a lot tidier when my son was a baby and I realized that I could keep a whole restaurant clean, so why couldn't I keep my house clean? Routine, routine routine. That was years before Flylady, lol. I "open" my house, and "close" my house, just like a restaurant, and that keeps things awfully clean. I also agree with children not eating until their stuff is picked up. It just makes sense, otherwise you are an unpaid servant, lol.

[Rebel Yell]

Lieutenant Stranger, on 03 Jul 2014 - 8:17 PM, said:

Also, if you know someone is coming over-- here's my tip:

 

I always make sure the house is very tidy, but leave something NOT perfect. And then when they come in, I say "Oh excuse the mess!" I love doing that.

I'm not trying to be mean or anything, but someone did this to me onetime.......

 

I was like, "Ummmm......okay????"  I vowed never to let that person come inside my house.  Ever.  And, she never has.  I am not a ultra-clean person.  I have clutter, and I don't need her over here.

 

So, please reconsider doing this to people that may not be as tidy as you are.

 

:iagree:   Yes!  When I was starting homeschooling, I went to a new aquaintance's house to see what she used and how she did things. She apologized for her "filthy" house because she didn't have time to do her "daily mopping." :huh:  Her house was so clean you could serve soup out of the toilet. I never ever ever let her in or even near my home. I also spent the past 14 years thinking I could never be a good homeschooler. :crying:

 

My phrase for when people stop by is "Just pretend it's clean, OK?" It usually gets a laugh. My house is cluttered, but not too "dirty." No more than 1 day's dishes piled up, no pets/pet mess/smells, trash can never piled more than 6" above the rim, no rotting food anywhere but the crisper drawer. :glare:
 

[momee]

What I do:

Keep our main living areas clean.  I don't mind a bit of mess in my kids' rooms or my bedroom but I love the fact that the living room and kitchen are clean so we can have drop over guests whenever the opportunity presents itself. 

 

Use mealtimes as the key to start picking up.  I'm constantly looking around as previous posters have mentioned, for what could be taken care of.  Burnt out light get bulbs next time at the store thinking process happens all the time for me.

 

Realize your season.  Little people are much! messier than teenaged people.

We have 7 people living here now, 5 of us in one bathroom.  That is alot!!!!! of cleaning.  Instead of getting mad about the natural fact that it gets messy I concentrate on asking myself who wants to use a dirty bathroom?  I take care of it multiple times a day when I'm in there.  My family has chores but I see the smooth functioning of the house and its continued cleanliness as my ultimate responsibility.  Not always my job :) but my responsibility.  If they haven't done what they should, they'll  hear it but I'll not hesitate to jump right in with them and help.  That's my job - to help them.

 

What I think:

DH told me when we first married that he needs an orderly space to feel at rest.  After 20 years of living with him, I get it.

 

I hope my kids see enough of how I clean to have it ingrained before they leave.  I want cleaning up to be a natural thing for them.  Not something they see me being a "freak" about. 

 

Those of us who weren't taught as younger children to be responsible for selves and space are at quite a disadvantage. Learning such skills as an adult is hard work.  Teaching your kids when you're still learning yourself is even harder.

 

 

[TammyS]

Part of the solution to this (and it IS only partial) that I'm starting to learn at (mumble mumble) age, is to just be honest with yourself.  Just because something SOUNDS like a good idea, doesn't mean it's going to get done.

 

So, for me, it's partly to learn to think like a lazy person who needs to keep house (which, incidentally, is what I am).  I like my laundry done.  I HATE when I am trying to go somewhere with someone and no one can leave because one or more people can't find clean socks.  That drives me NUTS.  So, in my house, everyone has 14 pair of socks/underwear minimum.  And they are all white.  And each person's socks are all the same (for that person, not through the whole family) so that they all match.  And they are all white.  So we are never out of socks/underwear, because there are so darn many of them.  And I keep an "underwear hamper" in the bathroom and they all get washed together (which also gives the 3 year old something he can fold at his size).

 

Because people take clothes off one piece at a time, I see no reason why they can't sort them at the same time.  So there are hampers for darks, lights, and towels.  You just sort as you use them each day.  Because I'm too lazy to stand on top of a giant pile of laundry and sort it (and actually, if I were someone who primarily dried clothes in the drier, I wouldn't even bother doing that, because modern clothes are very color fast, but I use a clothesline and I don't want blue jean lint on my white shirts - why don't modern washing machines have lint filters like my old one did?).

 

I have learned to be honest with myself that I'm NOT going to pick up my knitting and carry it across the house and put it away in the project room.  So I have a basket in the living room.  Is it ideal? Maybe not.  But at least it's contained.

 

I have learned to be honest with myself that I simply am not going to dust knick knacks or other decorations on tables.  So I don't own any, because they look awful all dusty.

 

I have learned to be honest with myself that I'm simply not going to iron clothes.  So I don't own an ironing board, iron, or anything that needs ironing. 

 

I don't care to go through the mess of baking pastries and such, so I don't own cookie sheets, or cookie cutters, or any of that such.  I don't own a mixer, either.  I have two round cake pans for the occasional birthday cake (which I've never actually baked, but my older son does occasionally).

 

I need to get honest with myself that windex should be under the bathroom sink, like it was in our old house, and not over the washing machine in the laundry room, because clearly I'm not going in the laundry room to get it, even though the laundry room is right next door.  If it was at least under the sink, I might pick it up and use it occasionally.

 

Getting honest with one self won't clean the house automatically, but it might get one to set up things to make it easier so that at least SOME more things get done.  And that some can be a pressure reliever.

See Dawn, I think to a certain extent it cannot be learned.  I am a lot like you.  It takes me WAY too much mental energy to try and keep up with keeping things neat.  My brain just doesn't work that way.  I don't "see" it either.  And trying to just makes me a cranky, stressed individual.  Now I have learned to be better, but even that takes some of my mental, creative energy.  In fact, you can tell how much happier I am since I got this part time job because my house is back to being messy.  If the house is neat, I am unhappy.  It is the last thing that I do.  I much prefer being creative. 

 

[DawnM]

Kindred Spirits.

 

 

See Dawn, I think to a certain extent it cannot be learned.  I am a lot like you.  It takes me WAY too much mental energy to try and keep up with keeping things neat.  My brain just doesn't work that way.  I don't "see" it either.  And trying to just makes me a cranky, stressed individual.  Now I have learned to be better, but even that takes some of my mental, creative energy.  In fact, you can tell how much happier I am since I got this part time job because my house is back to being messy.  If the house is neat, I am unhappy.  It is the last thing that I do.  I much prefer being creative. 

 

[pehp]

I am not a neat-freak per se but I do keep things pretty neat.  In my own life the way this works is that I *do* tend to tidy as I go; if I leave a room, I usually take something w/ me that doesn't belong there.  If you dropped by my house on any given day, it may be very tidy (it is right now, except for my son's room, which is covered in paper b/c he's 'making fireworks', and our playroom/basement, where I let the children play this afternoon and didn't make them pick up their toys!) or it may be a bit messy. It is almost never *so* bad that I feel badly about someone being here, if that makes sense.  It's tidy enough. There's usually one room that makes me twitch (either my son's room or the playroom), but I just ignore it.

 

When all else fails I think focusing on laundry and the kitchen are 2 important things. I also make my children tidy up the main room (living/dining areas, hallway) every day. They are 7 and 3 and they can knock this out very quickly.

 

On the meta-level, I don't buy much, and I try to stay very well-organized (a place for everything).  

 

I have two relatives who are OCD neat freaks to the extreme. One is retired with no children and one has 2 young children.  The retired relative actually has a disorder, so I don't recommend following in those footsteps--I love going to her house b/c it makes my tidy heart happy, but she's beyond 'tidy'--she's got an illness.  The one w/ 2 small children  does several things I do not: 1) she barely cooks/bakes from scratch (I am constantly working in my *small, visible-from-the-front-and-back-doors kitchen*); 2) her kids have NO toys in their bedrooms except 1-2 stuffed animals; EVERYTHING else stays in the playroom (my children do have some toys in their bedrooms); 3) she throws many, many things away (I'm a tree-hugger so I try to recycle a lot, reuse things, etc which takes up some storage space) ; 4) she does not craft or read books, her hobby is television/movies (whereas I read voraciously, sew a lot, and knit).

 

Also, they don't homeschool.  ;)  

[KungFuPanda]

Lieutenant Stranger, on 03 Jul 2014 - 8:17 PM, said:

 

 

 

:iagree:   Yes!  When I was starting homeschooling, I went to a new aquaintance's house to see what she used and how she did things. She apologized for her "filthy" house because she didn't have time to do her "daily mopping." :huh:  Her house was so clean you could serve soup out of the toilet. I never ever ever let her in or even near my home. I also spent the past 14 years thinking I could never be a good homeschooler. :crying:

 

My phrase for when people stop by is "Just pretend it's clean, OK?" It usually gets a laugh. My house is cluttered, but not too "dirty." No more than 1 day's dishes piled up, no pets/pet mess/smells, trash can never piled more than 6" above the rim, no rotting food anywhere but the crisper drawer. :glare:

 

I've told people: "I'm not cleaning before you come over. Be emotionally prepared." Generally, they're kind enough to ignore the dog hair and piles of shoes and tell me that it's not messy. I love my friends.

[Storygirl]

This is our plan.

 

I am trying to organize and pick up now and have started packing boxes and bins and putting them in the basement.

 

But I am also trying to get in to some better habits.

 

I at least want to keep my living spaces tidy for any guests who might drop in.

 

For selling, we may be somewhat up a creak.  I am simply not a spotless person, in fact, my clean is someone else's "mess."  I just don't see it.  

 

When I was selling my last house, two friends came over to help me get ready.  They made a HUGE deal about wiping down the inside of my cupboards.  Apparently they were dirty.  I don't even see that.  If it has doors, I close them and even the brief moment I open them, I just don't see it.

 

I am trying to get DH to agree to rent a townhouse while the house is on the market.  We can clean to spotless perfection and walk away.  No dogs, no kids, no mess.

 

Dawn

 

At the risk of repeating myself -- a professional home stager can help you with this. Our stager was here yesterday. I am NOT a naturally neat person. I cleaned and set things up as much as possible in the way that I would when showing the house, and she went room by room with me and told me what I still needed to work on.  The stager will see what you do not; it is what they do. If you do not want to hire a stager, ask a friend or two to come over and be brutally honest with you. Take notes. A stager would be best, though. For a relatively small outlay of money, you can get a ton of good advice specific to you and your home.

 

I would also prefer to move out and stay in a rental while our house is on the market, and we have discussed it (but we aren't actually doing that at this point). I totally get that!!

[DawnM]

But I am nowhere NEAR ready for this kind of scrutiny.  Right now, I simply need to get into some better habits, continue to purge, figure out what to do with various unfinished projects, etc....

 

However, not getting into a habit of being a bit tidier and hiring someone to tell me I have a mess, won't really solve the issue.

 

So, I understand what you are saying, but that is just one visit.  I will still need to KEEP it looking in that kind of shape.

 

A stager will go through cupboards and things?

 

Dawn

 

 

At the risk of repeating myself -- a professional home stager can help you with this. Our stager was here yesterday. I am NOT a naturally neat person. I cleaned and set things up as much as possible in the way that I would when showing the house, and she went room by room with me and told me what I still needed to work on.  The stager will see what you do not; it is what they do. If you do not want to hire a stager, ask a friend or two to come over and be brutally honest with you. Take notes. A stager would be best, though. For a relatively small outlay of money, you can get a ton of good advice specific to you and your home.

 

I would also prefer to move out and stay in a rental while our house is on the market, and we have discussed it (but we aren't actually doing that at this point). I totally get that!!

 

[wingedradical]

First, understand that it is just plain different for people who use their homes during the evening and part of the weekend than it is for people who are there all day homeschooling - which means moving things around and dirtying up to some extent. It really is harder. We were empty nest for a while and my house was so spotless. And I hate housework, am disabled and to be completely honest, didn't do very much except cooking and a weekly pass through. Now we have one teen, just one -- who does her own laundry, cleans her own room, cleans up after dinner, sometimes cooks, does other chores -- and the house is still messier. Not a complete mess - there are only three of us and we are not children - but I was amazed at the difference "working in my house" made.

 

Mostly, though, in keeping house in general, it is mainly just habit. After a while, habits don't seem so much like work. For example, when my husband cooks (not usually, since he works many hours, but occasionally), he doesn't clean as he goes. The kitchen looks like a tornado hit it. I, on the other hand, clean as I go. It doesn't seem like work - it is just habit. I have gotten to where I feel a sense of satisfaction from keeping it clean as I go. But I wasn't always that way. I used to cook like DH. I just got tired of cleaning up the tornado afterwards.

 

Also, different people have different ideas of clean and that really is okay. To me, clean is sparkling. To my husband, it is not having mold all around is good enough(well, that's an exaggeration but it sometimes seems true).  My mother-in-law thinks if one magazine is left out, a house isn't clean. And my mother (and I!) go for the uncluttered "modern" look cuz it is easier to clean around.

 

Generally, the less decor and furniture you have, the easier it is. Also, the more storage you have, the easier (up to an extent - I actually have too much now and I've noticed I'm collecting too much).

 

I agree you shouldn't have to spend every moment or even every extra moment cleaning unless you really like cleaning.

 

I must confess, though - I've seen a couple of homeschooling homes I wouldn't want to eat in. But I suspect they would look the same even without homeschooling.

 

 

[Incognito]

At the risk of repeating myself -- a professional home stager can help you with this. Our stager was here yesterday. I am NOT a naturally neat person. I cleaned and set things up as much as possible in the way that I would when showing the house, and she went room by room with me and told me what I still needed to work on.  The stager will see what you do not; it is what they do. If you do not want to hire a stager, ask a friend or two to come over and be brutally honest with you. Take notes. A stager would be best, though. For a relatively small outlay of money, you can get a ton of good advice specific to you and your home.

 

I would also prefer to move out and stay in a rental while our house is on the market, and we have discussed it (but we aren't actually doing that at this point). I totally get that!!

 

FWIW, I have also heard the advice of taking a picture and looking at the picture - it is a lot easier to see the clutter that way.  I agree.  For instance, a picture made me realize our rug was a bit busy - I mean, I knew it was, but the picture made me realize it was better to roll up the rug and keep it in the garage while showing off that nice flooring instead of my taste in rugs. :)

 

If you are trying to sell, you can use it to help you get organized, but I wouldn't use it as THE time you must change all your organizational habits.  A big thing is to purge and/or store things.  Make the closets seem half empty.  Rooms too.  If you are able to get rid of stuff more than store stuff, you have half solved your problem for cleaning/organizing when you get to a new home.

 

I can't give good advice on staying sane and selling a house with small kids - my poor kids were constantly being followed and wiped up after.  It was only a couple of months, but it was intense on my part.  

[Storygirl]

But I am nowhere NEAR ready for this kind of scrutiny.  Right now, I simply need to get into some better habits, continue to purge, figure out what to do with various unfinished projects, etc....

 

However, not getting into a habit of being a bit tidier and hiring someone to tell me I have a mess, won't really solve the issue.

 

So, I understand what you are saying, but that is just one visit.  I will still need to KEEP it looking in that kind of shape.

 

A stager will go through cupboards and things?

 

Dawn

 

Yes, you can hire a professional organizer who will go through everything with you. For a fee, of course. Our stager comes through our home in the last weeks right before we are ready to put it on the market, so I have things fairly ready beforehand. She looked into my closets but didn't open cupboard doors. I'm sure she would have if I had asked her to, but I had the one-hour version of her services.

 

To be honest, I have never been able to get my house neat and clean until I actually had to. I should have taken a picture of each room as it look three weeks ago and as it looks today. It would make you feel like we are kindred spirits, I promise you. I still remember fondly (not) the day a few years ago that one of my preschoolers asked me who was coming over, because I was cleaning, and she thought I only cleaned for company (ouch, a little too true).

 

 I applaud you for taking a long view and starting to work on this months ahead of time. I just couldn't. It takes so much effort for me to keep my house this clean that I really can accomplish very little else, and I can't keep that up long term without cracking. We've spent a few whirlwind weeks whipping things into shape.  And it has taken weeks. And we have no major improvement projects to do, because it is a newish house. Just organizing, clutter control, cleaning, and a bit of touch up painting. Oh, and hanging some pictures that have been leaning against our walls for a couple of years. But it was embarrassingly messy before. I mean I wouldn't want people to come in. I'm not a hoarder, but I'm messy for sure.  I have only a bit of time now to spend each day, because I am running my kids around everywhere, and my husband is out of town for most of the month. And then I have to keep it clean. :sad:

 

So here is my method. First I stored away everything that was out that we are not using. This time we rented a storage unit. We took already packed boxes (Christmas ornaments, mementos, etc.) from our basement storage room and put them in the rental unit, so that we now have space in our basement area to put the things that we still have to box up. I go through every room and set it up exactly as I want to show it. In my case, this did not mean actually sorting and getting rid of stuff, because I didn't have time for that. At this point it is all about the appearance. So, for example, I lugged my messy schoolroom materials that we aren't using right now and stacked them on a shelf in the storage room. I need to go through it and throw things away, but can't right now. This is where you have an advantage. Use the time you have to get rid of stuff first. I'll pay for it later, but my schoolroom looks tidy now. It has never looked this way, since the day we moved in. I bought new bedding and towels, because we needed it (not everyone does). I made the kids go through their stuff and throw things away (not much use -- they want to keep everything). I wiped down the front of my kitchen cabinets. (Here's a little secret -- I've never done this before in the five years we've lived here, even though I knew they needed it). I organized my pantry shelves so that they look neater. I'll do the same in each closet, but I haven't gotten to that step yet, because I've been focusing on the rooms. I've been shopping for cute throw pillows to brighten up our shabby couch. In the meantime, nothing else in my life is getting done.

 

After I have all the rooms set up (this is how it is now, except for the laundry room, which is still in its regular disastrous state), and the closets straightened (which I still have to do -- this week's project), I will go through each room and actually clean it. Now I've done more than my usual cleaning over the last couple of weeks as I've had the realtor and stager and a guest stop in, so it's a bit cleaner than the norm already. I'm talking about wiping the dust off of the blinds and the baseboards and the crevices of the doors, and cleaning the crud out of the floor registers, spot cleaning the carpet and then getting DH to run our steamer. This is the last minute stuff for me -- the things that I hardly ever (maybe never) ordinarily do, but that must be done now.

 

And as I try to get this done (with so little time at home), I also have to keep the areas that I have already set up cleaned. This is the impossible dream. I mean, I can clean the bathroom and tell everyone that they must not use it but go to the one in the basement instead, and not five minutes later someone is flushing the toilet in there (or not flushing, which is worse), and wiping their grubby hands on my brand new towels and leaving them strewn across the floor. My technique is to banish the kids from an area of the house (not that it ever works, but it is what I attempt to do). So in the morning, I will tell them that their room needs to look exactly like it did the day before, when I had it all set up, and then after they have reluctantly done their best, I will check it and fix it and tell them they can't go in that room any more for the rest of the day. Brutal. It changes our lifestyle. Of course, they are wily and forgetful and slip by me all the time, leaving their underwear on their floor and shloshing around on the beds that I just made perfectly two minutes before. I swear I have to do everything three times. The last time I had the house on the market, I would put them in the car during the last five minutes and run through the house one last time, looking for whatever they had managed to mess up while I wasn't looking. The day the stager came, I had eliminated one room after another that they were allowed to be in, until all they could do was sit on the couch and play their electronics (they didn't mind that part of it so much). I still kept catching them going in the forbidden rooms. This room banishing thing may seem extreme, but tornadoes of mess follow my kids around the house, and it is the only way that I can get a handle on it.

 

I can't keep it completely clean, even when it is on the market. We live here. I have messy kids, and I am not naturally organized. I always have a couple of hours of straightening up and cleaning to do before a showing. I happen to have a very big house, so just getting it all in order at the same time is an enormous undertaking.

 

So back to the stager thing. Wait for a bit until you have done everything that you can see that needs to be done. That is the point at which you call them. They will see what you missed. Or you could hire someone to actually help you organize. This would not work for me, but it does for some people.

 

I hoped that the cleaning and organizing techniques I honed the last time my house was on the market for nine months would carry over into my everyday existence. I do know how to clean. And I can keep things neat. But when I do it, many other things are sacrificed. I can only do so many things well.

 

Finally, I don't want to come across as someone who has this all down pat. I struggle mightily with it. I'm an emotional and physical wreck. I am under a huge load of stress. It's hard.

[Liz CA]

I am more of a "toss it now" person while dh has a tendency toward "let's keep it and see if we can use it again..."   :thumbdown:

 

We had to make piles of "This will go for sure" and "This may go but is still being evaluated."

But it helped in the final organization and we did purge a lot because we moved to a smaller place.

I have no experience with a stager but it sounds promising.

[Gil]

1) I would not describe our home as pristine. It is clean but it is not pristine. My moms home is pristine.

2) I have always required the kids to clean up behind themselves. When they were walking steadily, I taught them what "put it back" means and worked to teach them how. It took forever (or it felt that way.)

3) We don't have money to 'toss' things. We own minimal things---I don't like clutter and I'm not paying for stuff to accumulate beyond the point that it can be used readily and regularly. We take care of what we have. Use it up, wear it out, make do or do without.

4) Toys that get stepped on, get claimed by whoever stepped on it and it not belongs to them. It is their property (restitution for them hurting their feet by stepping on it) and they can do whatever they want with it provided it stays out of the floor: If they want to trash it, donate it, keep it, sell it, gift it--they can because it is THEIRS now. The boys learned quick to keep their stuff out of the floor, and even dad is subject to this rule.

5) The house has to be clean before anyone can sleep. I wake the boys up if something isn't done and I make them do it, help do it.

6) My mom, who keeps the boys when I'm busy, runs a tight ship. She has a pristine home and extremely high standards.

7) I repeat things less and less as the boys get older. I slam them with the 'ban hammer' fairly quick. I find that usually 3-15 days of strict/stiff rule enforcing helps them to transition pretty quick.

8) My goal was that by 7yo the kids are the ones who walk around cleaning and wiping through out the day, we are on track to get there, I think.

 

One of my biggest cleaning-training tools for tiny little kids was the "Put it back" rule.

If you have toddlers--any kid big enough to walk with full control, get them each a milk-crate and teach them to "put it back."

Everything that they use on a daily basis goes in that crate--pampers/pull ups, 3-5 toys, sippy/water bottle, favorite books, shoes, change of shirt, etc.

When they play with/use something it comes from that crate and before they can move on, they have to "put it back" in the crate. The diapers were the exception obviously, but someone was changing them so it wasn't too big of a problem.

 

Just take the item and put it back, hold their hand and guide them to put it back. Instruct them to "put it back" and stay consistent. It isn't a big deal if they have a low success rate or put too much in the crate--the lesson being taught/lived is that you don't leave things out if you aren't using them and they learn this easily very early on.

 

I used to have to tidy up their crate at the end of every day as they tend to put every.single.thing in the crate, but thats okay. They are learning to put things away even if they are 18mos.

 

 

Slowly but surely, as they grow, where things come from becomes more complex and thats okay, kids adapt really easily. When they out grow the bottle/sippy they get a big kid cup and the cups can go in the kitchen since we can't keep a big kid cup in the crate--it will spill. So a cup goes in the kitchen--"put it back" we had a crate in the kitchen for dishes because I didn't want them climbing or throwing stuff in there.

They need fewer changes of clothes so they get a hamper and dirty clothes go in the hamper--they stand next to the hamper to strip and put their clothes in the hamper immediately. Put it back.

They read a greater variety of books and they come from the shelf--put it back.

 

Its a process but it isn't hard and by the time that they are 4ish, they are good about looking for where to put things when they are done using it,

Do you just walk around all day cleaning, picking up, wiping down?  

 

I find it exhausting and frustrating.  I feel like I could just do it all day and never sit down.

 

How in the world do you keep a pristine home?

 

Dawn

 

 

[DawnM]

Thank you all.

 

Just to give you a picture of our house.......

 

We have a basement.  It was not finished when we moved in, but DH has *almost* finished it.  The doors need to go in, the baseboards need to go in, and a countertop needs to go in, but other than that, it is finished.  However, the basement somehow (for a time) became the dumping ground.  The "here, go take this to the basement" place for extra items.

 

In March my dear Aunt passed away.  I decided to host a get together in her honor at my house.  The boys decided they wanted friends to come and hang out in the basement to play board games.  

 

Since the boys were motivated, they helped.  We spent an entire 2 weeks cleaning and organizing that basement.  It looks pretty good now.

 

The main areas of the house are usually in "can get ready in a couple of hours if necessary" mode.

 

Two of the boys' bedrooms have been gone through and are somewhat organized.  More needs to be done, but the base of operation is there.

 

Third son's bedroom is a cluttered mess.  It used to be our guest room/sewing room.  My extra stuff is all in there.  I have NO idea what to do with it.  Really.  I have no clue where to put my sewing table and the tall dresser with sewing supplies.  At this time, it may have to remain in his room until we are ready to sell and then can go into storage when we start staging.  Our next house WILL have a sewing area!  

 

I cleaned the kitchen this weekend, I mean really cleaned.   I have too many kitchen gadgets and such.  It doesn't all fit in my cupboards.  Too much tupperware, too much Pampered Chef, too many eggiest and cake pop makers, etc.....the ones I am really not using need to go.

 

And it sounds like my house is "together" but it isn't.  I still have WAY too much stuff.  My office is a disaster.  My master bedroom is still a disaster (our closet is rather small for a master as it is a somewhat older home) and I just don't have places to put everything.

 

But, as I have said before, I just don't see all of it!  I have got to retrain my brain somehow.

 

I have a question.......my cupboards don't have liners in them.  The base is just some kind of pressboard or something.......should I line them before listing the house?  Do they make a liner that won't look tacky?   Just plain?  I don't want stark white.

 

Thank you!

[BlsdMama]

24 feet....so 10 kids?  You don't find that you can organize a crew that size into a routine that breaks the housework down faster?  I can't imagine what so many of you are doing for 3 hours each day.

 

 

Tha'ts a great theory and there is a season for it.  It's not the season NOW but I remember it and it was nice.  Now I have two teens that are incredibly busy and absolutely pitch in but honestly they have other responsibilities that take priority over my house though they definitely pull their weight.  That will only increase when my right hand woman starts full time college this fall.  And #2 does an incredible amount of outdoors work, gardening, landscaping.  But, we have five kiddos, soon to be six, that are age seven and under.  Do they help?  Absolutely. Do they probably create more work than they are able to adequately help with?  Absolutely.   Of that three hours a day, I figure close to half is devoted to laundry and there are things moderate sized families don't think about - like the fact that two meals of the day need to either run the dishwasher twice or 1/2 the dishes get handwashed.  Lifestyles also impact time spent on cleaning.  We do smoothies plus cooked protein (whatever form) in the AM.  That would create fewer dishes.

 

 

On showing the house:

 

We rented a home that eventually went up for sale.  We lived there for just over two years, and it was for sale for about 9 months of that.  It had white carpet.

The *only* way to keep something like that up is to have DAILY chores and WEEKLY chores.  Everything MUST have a home.  You must minimize if you own "stuff."  If there is a closet with a door, utilize it for keeping toys, kids' stuff, art supplies, etc. in so they have to "check" it out.  If you have both a front and back yard, only play in the backyard so things like bikes, etc don't clutter the front.

 

Make a rule of cleaning up after meals.  Make a rule of cleaning up either before or after naptime if you have littles.  In other words, have set times throughout your day to run around and pick up.  Then the weekly chores will take care of the things like dusting, wiping down windows, glass doors, etc.   Do "police calls" in the evening of the yard.  When you go to bed at night things should be, essentially, put away and ready for the next day.

 

Some areas would get out of control (like that toy/art closet I mentioned) and we'd just make sure 1-2 times a week we re-organized it so that if and when the realtor should call then we could be ready in an hour or two. 

 

I don't know how old your kids are, but if you have several bathrooms teach 'em young to do quick wipe downs so that you only have to do the heavier weight cleaning and then not as often.

 

It's overwhelming to clean up several times a day, but it's MORE overwhelming to get to the end of your day and see piles of stuff and things to do when you're already exhausted. 

 

When I say to minimize/toss stuff, I don't mean at random, just throw away things you'll need.  However, many people own an incredible amount of "stuff" that simply either takes up space, has no purpose, they collected unintentionally, or were given that got absorbed into the household but isn't utilized.  I believe it's being a good steward to realize I have a LOT of responsibility and to take care of the IMPORTANT the unimportant really had to go.  My house isn't nekkid, but it is "minimized" meaning I own *mostly* purposeful, intentional things.  Often people minimize, but then they aren't intentional about what they bring INTO the home.

 

For example:  If you hit McDonald's never get a Happy Meal.  Plastic crap isn't worth it.   If you go thrifting, don't get something "cute" because it's cheap.  Is it useful?  Does it have a purpose?  Does it have a home?  Do you have something else already that does what that does?  Is it a whim and later you'll think, "Really?!  Really???"

 

Stuff takes maintenance, time, energy.  People take maintenance, time, energy.  There is only 24 hours in a day.  The house and stuff is a priority right now to sell it which means if you don't minimize the amount of stuff that needs maintained it WILL absolutely steal from the people.  That's what convinced me to minimize as much as I have.  I have not been ruthless and at one time I was pretty extreme.  I've found a nice balance now and will actually own two of something if it's useful, lol, which never would have happened before.  But, seasons.  For all things there are seasons.

 

 

[TammyS]

Ok, if you really don't see it, then here is something you can try:

 

Empty it completely.  Draw a floor plan for each room and decide, on paper, what will go where.  Before you put a single thing into the room, you must already know where it will go.  Nothing may go into the room that isn't on your floor plan.  So you will be making decisions about an empty room and how much furniture and stuff you believe is reasonable for that room.  You can also do this with closets and cabinets.

 

Once everything is decided, do NOT just put the stuff in the room.  First, get rid of everything NOT on the floor plan.  Separate it from the other stuff and either toss, donate, or give it a new home elsewhere.  But it must not still be there when you start putting things in the room.

 

This is "extreme" and time consuming, but it is also a great way to limit stuff. 

Thank you all.

 

Just to give you a picture of our house.......

 

We have a basement.  It was not finished when we moved in, but DH has *almost* finished it.  The doors need to go in, the baseboards need to go in, and a countertop needs to go in, but other than that, it is finished.  However, the basement somehow (for a time) became the dumping ground.  The "here, go take this to the basement" place for extra items.

 

In March my dear Aunt passed away.  I decided to host a get together in her honor at my house.  The boys decided they wanted friends to come and hang out in the basement to play board games.  

 

Since the boys were motivated, they helped.  We spent an entire 2 weeks cleaning and organizing that basement.  It looks pretty good now.

 

The main areas of the house are usually in "can get ready in a couple of hours if necessary" mode.

 

Two of the boys' bedrooms have been gone through and are somewhat organized.  More needs to be done, but the base of operation is there.

 

Third son's bedroom is a cluttered mess.  It used to be our guest room/sewing room.  My extra stuff is all in there.  I have NO idea what to do with it.  Really.  I have no clue where to put my sewing table and the tall dresser with sewing supplies.  At this time, it may have to remain in his room until we are ready to sell and then can go into storage when we start staging.  Our next house WILL have a sewing area!  

 

I cleaned the kitchen this weekend, I mean really cleaned.   I have too many kitchen gadgets and such.  It doesn't all fit in my cupboards.  Too much tupperware, too much Pampered Chef, too many eggiest and cake pop makers, etc.....the ones I am really not using need to go.

 

And it sounds like my house is "together" but it isn't.  I still have WAY too much stuff.  My office is a disaster.  My master bedroom is still a disaster (our closet is rather small for a master as it is a somewhat older home) and I just don't have places to put everything.

 

But, as I have said before, I just don't see all of it!  I have got to retrain my brain somehow.

 

I have a question.......my cupboards don't have liners in them.  The base is just some kind of pressboard or something.......should I line them before listing the house?  Do they make a liner that won't look tacky?   Just plain?  I don't want stark white.

 

Thank you!

 

[SpicyPeanut]

I am diagnosed ADD, and though I take meds staying organized is still something that doesn't come naturally to me. 

 

I had this revelation a couple of years ago.  My friend's house is always so spotlIess and perfectly put together.  But she's not a close friend so it's not like I pop in. One time I was over there for a get together.  She collapses on the couch and says "I'm so tired from cleaning all day, I thought I wouldn't finish in time."  It dawned on me that some people who's houses are always "so clean" aren't... they clean up just like I do before people come over.

 

My other revelation was that I COULD be organized.  I was a teacher last year and one night I got tired of losing everything and stayed super late creating this elaborate organization system.  I labeled, filed and tossed.  By the end of the year some of it had become messy but a lot of it was just the way I wanted it (maybe dusty).  I learned that I could stay organized if everything has a home.  Every single thing needs to have a specific place to go or it ends up in drawers and piles. 

 

My house in son the market right now and it's wearing me out... Cleaning is not something I enjoy, however, I'm getting better at keeping things tidy for the most part.  I totally expire by 7pm though.  I just can't care about the mess once I'm sleepy.

[DawnM]

I guess I can see it, I just don't see it on a day to day basis, if that makes sense.  I have to really LOOK to see it.

 

We have organized several rooms at this point and in THOSE rooms I do know what will go into storage when we list the house and what won't.  

 

 

Ok, if you really don't see it, then here is something you can try:

 

Empty it completely.  Draw a floor plan for each room and decide, on paper, what will go where.  Before you put a single thing into the room, you must already know where it will go.  Nothing may go into the room that isn't on your floor plan.  So you will be making decisions about an empty room and how much furniture and stuff you believe is reasonable for that room.  You can also do this with closets and cabinets.

 

Once everything is decided, do NOT just put the stuff in the room.  First, get rid of everything NOT on the floor plan.  Separate it from the other stuff and either toss, donate, or give it a new home elsewhere.  But it must not still be there when you start putting things in the room.

 

This is "extreme" and time consuming, but it is also a great way to limit stuff. 

 

[Lady Florida.]

I'm not a routine person. I'm a FlyLady drop-out multiple times. I'm a feast-or-famine person. I probably have two insanely energetic days a week, one normal day, and two days where anything beyond subsistence housework is defiantly ignored.

 

As systems go, Sidetracked Home Executives worked well with my bipolar cleaning style. A GREAT tip from a super-neat friend was to have empty corners. That space between the wall and the hutch looks nicer empty than it does with rolled-up maps leaning there. It just does.

 

Another FlyLady dropout here. Part of the problem is that we don't have a set schedule and never have. I can't say Monday or any other day will be set aside to clean, do laundry, etc. because every Monday is different. I read something years ago that said you shouldn't schedule outside activities on the days you plan to clean, but I refuse to do that. "Sorry we can't go to the beach with you on Thursday because it's laundry day." Nope. Won't ever say that.

 

I also have chronic back pain so I have to take my good days and choose how to best use them.

 

I am also a Flylady dropout although I plan on attempting to enroll again if she will have me ;) But I also use an app the has changed things for the better. It is called Unfilth your Habitat. Actually it is another F word but people complained of the profanity in the title. There is still profanity in the app though but that is how I roll so it doesn't bother me.  It is a basic app but has timers, missions. motivators, and random cleaning of things you might not ever think of. It's great.

 

I just spent time on their website and I love it! Thank you. I'm not sure about the app because some of the reviews are saying they wish lists could be customized. I'll have to think about it. It's only $1.99, so I might give it a try.

 

Realize your season.  Little people are much! messier than teenaged people.

Teenaged boys can give toddlers a run for their money in the messy department. We're on our second one, and the first one is so much older, that I forgot just how bad it can get.   :lol:

[DawnM]

I don't have any little people.  Youngest is 10, oldest is 16.

 

They are still messy.  

 

 

 

Realize your season.  Little people are much! messier than teenaged people.

We have 7 people living here now, 5 of us in one bathroom.  That is alot!!!!! of cleaning.  Instead of getting mad about the natural fact that it gets messy I concentrate on asking myself who wants to use a dirty bathroom?  I take care of it multiple times a day when I'm in there.  My family has chores but I see the smooth functioning of the house and its continued cleanliness as my ultimate responsibility.  Not always my job :) but my responsibility.  If they haven't done what they should, they'll  hear it but I'll not hesitate to jump right in with them and help.  That's my job - to help them.

 

 

 

[Hannahs4]

Sigh, I am a flylady drop out. More than once. More than twice........and we will just leave it at that.

You are NOT behind!

 

Bahahahaaaaa...

Sorry I couldn't help myself, I am a fly lady flunky too ;)

[idnib]

One way to really see things is to not let your eyes wander over things you are used to. Enter a room and turn immediately to your left. Work your way around the room cleaning and/or decluttering. DO NOT SKIP ANYTHING. Never move ahead of everything behind you is not done. If you're not good at seeing it, you must be extremely systematic and handle each item.  When you stop for a break or a distraction mark your spot with a sock or something, a visual bookmark. Resume where you were.

 

Never skip over a surface, a box, a tray of papers. After going around the room clockwise until you are back at the doorway, tackle the middle of the room.

 

Pick up each thing and make a decision: keep, donate, discard, store. If "keep", put it where it belongs. For the other categories, keep 3 boxes, one for each category. When a box is full, tape it up, label it, and put it in a pile of like boxes. Once a week take all the boxes for storage/donate/toss and get rid of them.

[mirth]

One of the psychologists on the show Hoarders sounds like she has gone the other way in terms of messiness.  She said that not only can you eat off her floors, but when her friends come over to her house they are afraid to sit down because everything is so perfect, they are not sure if it is "okay."  Let me ask.  When's the last time you were afraid of perfect furniture?  Or is it more likely that you are afraid of the furniture owner and the freakiness she projects in case something, anything gets messed up?  I think being around hoarders a long time affects everyone's mental state.

 

I like things sparse.  It is easier to clean if there is not a lot of stuff around.  I also make it a point to clean one full window a day  -- sill, sash, locks, weatherstripping, everything inside and out.  The window has to be tilted out and needs a total clearance of about 3-4 feet away from the wall.  Windows are often located near corners and behind furniture which must be moved.  There is no hiding from the vacuum, trash can, or paper towels.  Funny that I associate cleaning clear glass windows with looking under a log.

[momee]

I was trying to say teens are still messy but at 10 and 16 they are definitely capable of contributing to the order of the house by cleaning their own messes up.

 

I definitely agree, they can be messy. Olders can and must, don't you think?

 

I mean the way I experienced cleaning went like this:

my mom got mad, yelled and threw stuff then we felt horrible and tried our best to "fix the house".  Repeat over time.

 

I would much have preferred to be taught, systematically reasonable and age appropriate chores over my childhood and into teen years with my skill set increasing over time so that by the time I had my own house, I was fully capable of handling it naturally.

I wouldn't have to go from zero to one hundred in the skill set of cleaning like I have had to.

 

You've all made me think more about that and I would like to say thanks for the discussion.  I forget too often to slow down step back and look at the big picture when I'm in the humdrum of my daily activity.

 

One of my goals as their mom is to teach them over time to care for their own homes.  Part of my teaching them that is expecting they actually do it.  Easier said than done, and I don't always do it because sometimes they gripe and complain.  

 

Cleaning my house is my responsibility ultimately.  I see it as a privilege that they get to learn that skill while they live here.  They don't always see it that way, so I am learning to gently remind them of the gift.  It gets tough when I'm tired, they're acting entitled and no one wants to work.  That's when old habits come to the surface.  I.  Hate.  That.

 

[kubiac]

This is a FASCINATING thread. I think I've learned a lot about myself just from reading how it works in other houses and more importantly, inside other heads!

 

I'm going to search "housekeeping" for other similar threads on the board, please let me know if you think of other search terms that would turn up content like this.

 

P.S. Last night I cleaned a bathroom and the stovetop and several shelves of the fridge in honor of this thread. Thanks for the inspiration, ladies.

[MissKNG]

My days are really long so I have a lot of time to get stuff done. I AM the one who is moving around all the time and doing stuff around the house. I don't formally exercise because my daily activity is enough. I keep the main areas clean and work on the struggle spots (ie. dusting and our master bathroom) maybe once a week. I vacuum a lot because it keeps the carpet nicer for a longer time.

 

We don't walk around with shoes on. I clean while cooking (like getting dishes washed as stuff is baking, in the pan or boiling). The girls pick up the current toy they are playing with before going onto the next thing.

[lisabees]

The one piece of advice that works for me...

 

Never touch something twice.

 

Example:  Don't put a dirty dish in the sink.  Put it in the dishwasher immediately, so that you won't have to touch it again.

 

Once you become aware of this, you will find yourself putting things where they belong, so you don't create more work for yourself.

 

 

Two other things helped me.

 

One, my kids became older.

Two, I now live with an amazing man who helps out.  A lot.

 

[momee]

I should also add...if you aren't tired of hearing from me already about this subject...that servanthood is the one trait I missed in my pre-wife/mom days that has helped me most to keep my house clean.

 

I never saw the idea modeled growing up with my mom who was a hardworking but angry alcoholic single mom.  I saw entitlement.  "I worked hard - I deserve a clean house and you have messed it up" is how I think would best describe my mom's cleaning philosophy.

 

Total change in attitude from my husband's mother.  I was immediately and have been for 21 years now struck by her attitude of servanthood.  "I know how to do this, I am in a better place (skill set or maturity) than you are to clean it and I'd be glad to 1)help you 2) teach you 3)do it for you." is how I would describe her philosophy.  Not in a "I know better than you" cocky way, but in a gentle, "There, there dear, can I come alongside you?" way.

 

This applied whether I was buying a new house as a stupid young bride who looked at her help as intruding.

Whether I had just had a baby and was put off that she must think I couldn't do it myself.

Whether I had homeschooling, a business, and four kids missing a dad who worked alot and she came to visit and wanted to bless me in return for caring for her grandkids.

Her attitude was that she had better training, skills and spiritual and mental maturity than me.  Instead of beating me over the head with that, she gracefully came down to where I was, lifted me up and helped me move past that drama junk and learn to care for my home.

 

What I mean is she was a servant - a helpmeet to her own husband and it was natural that she became a helpmeet to me.  She is now living in my home and I am caring for her and her husband.  What an honor, a privilege, and a golden opportunity to give back.  

Even better, what an opportunity for me to learn from a master wife, mom and housecleaner :)

 

I pray that I can even in one small way, model that same servanthood and teach my girls to serve like she taught me.  Without judgement, without accusation or blame, but with support.

[TammyS]

You are very lucky to have had someone like that to model for you.  I try to observe from and learn from people who do it well, but having had someone come alongside and really model would have been wonderful.

 

I feel so bad for my kids because while I am *trying* to teach them how to do these things, the truth is that I don't rightly know myself, because I wasn't taught, either.  Sigh.  It's hard when these things are missing from your upbringing.  You feel like you are constantly re-inventing the wheel.

I should also add...if you aren't tired of hearing from me already about this subject...that servanthood is the one trait I missed in my pre-wife/mom days that has helped me most to keep my house clean.

 

I never saw the idea modeled growing up with my mom who was a hardworking but angry alcoholic single mom.  I saw entitlement.  "I worked hard - I deserve a clean house and you have messed it up" is how I think would best describe my mom's cleaning philosophy.

 

Total change in attitude from my husband's mother.  I was immediately and have been for 21 years now struck by her attitude of servanthood.  "I know how to do this, I am in a better place (skill set or maturity) than you are to clean it and I'd be glad to 1)help you 2) teach you 3)do it for you." is how I would describe her philosophy.  Not in a "I know better than you" cocky way, but in a gentle, "There, there dear, can I come alongside you?" way.

 

This applied whether I was buying a new house as a stupid young bride who looked at her help as intruding.

Whether I had just had a baby and was put off that she must think I couldn't do it myself.

Whether I had homeschooling, a business, and four kids missing a dad who worked alot and she came to visit and wanted to bless me in return for caring for her grandkids.

Her attitude was that she had better training, skills and spiritual and mental maturity than me.  Instead of beating me over the head with that, she gracefully came down to where I was, lifted me up and helped me move past that drama junk and learn to care for my home.

 

What I mean is she was a servant - a helpmeet to her own husband and it was natural that she became a helpmeet to me.  She is now living in my home and I am caring for her and her husband.  What an honor, a privilege, and a golden opportunity to give back.  

Even better, what an opportunity for me to learn from a master wife, mom and housecleaner :)

 

I pray that I can even in one small way, model that same servanthood and teach my girls to serve like she taught me.  Without judgement, without accusation or blame, but with support.

 

[pehp]

I should also add...if you aren't tired of hearing from me already about this subject...that servanthood is the one trait I missed in my pre-wife/mom days that has helped me most to keep my house clean.

 

I never saw the idea modeled growing up with my mom who was a hardworking but angry alcoholic single mom.  I saw entitlement.  "I worked hard - I deserve a clean house and you have messed it up" is how I think would best describe my mom's cleaning philosophy.

 

Total change in attitude from my husband's mother.  I was immediately and have been for 21 years now struck by her attitude of servanthood.  "I know how to do this, I am in a better place (skill set or maturity) than you are to clean it and I'd be glad to 1)help you 2) teach you 3)do it for you." is how I would describe her philosophy.  Not in a "I know better than you" cocky way, but in a gentle, "There, there dear, can I come alongside you?" way.

 

This applied whether I was buying a new house as a stupid young bride who looked at her help as intruding.

Whether I had just had a baby and was put off that she must think I couldn't do it myself.

Whether I had homeschooling, a business, and four kids missing a dad who worked alot and she came to visit and wanted to bless me in return for caring for her grandkids.

Her attitude was that she had better training, skills and spiritual and mental maturity than me.  Instead of beating me over the head with that, she gracefully came down to where I was, lifted me up and helped me move past that drama junk and learn to care for my home.

 

What I mean is she was a servant - a helpmeet to her own husband and it was natural that she became a helpmeet to me.  She is now living in my home and I am caring for her and her husband.  What an honor, a privilege, and a golden opportunity to give back.  

Even better, what an opportunity for me to learn from a master wife, mom and housecleaner :)

 

I pray that I can even in one small way, model that same servanthood and teach my girls to serve like she taught me.  Without judgement, without accusation or blame, but with support.

 

 I love this! So inspiring! 

[momee]

Where sin abounds, grace all the more so.  I'm right with you in the struggle.  Learning as I go is still a process for me, 21 years married now.  Embarrassin' (in my best 80's impression).

 

Anway, hang in.  Progress, not perfection.  Your kids will remember your love for them.  Get them to be aware you're trying too.  Humility goes a long, long way.  Almost as long as their forgiveness of our faults ;)  Glad to have inspired someone with my craziness.  It is tough to keep struggling and feel like you're not getting better, but I bet you are!

 

You're welcome to pm me if I can be of help, I've btdt!

[Arctic Bunny]

Can I ask.... How's it going?

 

I started reading through the "a slob comes clean" blog, and it really struck home with me. I started with the kitchen being clean at night, running the dishwasher, and making the bed in the morning. I also started keeping a journal, so I can see what I HAVE done.

[DawnM]

It is 3 steps forward, and now only 1 back, so I guess that means progress?????

 

I have a realtor coming THur to look at the house.  I am going to have to prep her and say, "Imagine this house with over 50% of our stuff in storage!"  Hopefully she can do that.

 

Right now we have a bathroom renovation going on so that causes more mess.  

 

Yesterday we cleaned out a closet in the hallway.  

 

Mon, Tue, and Wed we will be cleaning the office and dining room and I will fully clean my master bedroom.

 

I did take a load to the donation place yesterday and we filled a trash can for pick up.

 

So.......progress.......but so far to go!

 

 

Can I ask.... How's it going?

I started reading through the "a slob comes clean" blog, and it really struck home with me. I started with the kitchen being clean at night, running the dishwasher, and making the bed in the morning. I also started keeping a journal, so I can see what I HAVE done.

 

[BlsdMama]

I should also add...if you aren't tired of hearing from me already about this subject...that servanthood is the one trait I missed in my pre-wife/mom days that has helped me most to keep my house clean.

 

I never saw the idea modeled growing up with my mom who was a hardworking but angry alcoholic single mom. I saw entitlement. "I worked hard - I deserve a clean house and you have messed it up" is how I think would best describe my mom's cleaning philosophy.

 

Total change in attitude from my husband's mother. I was immediately and have been for 21 years now struck by her attitude of servanthood. "I know how to do this, I am in a better place (skill set or maturity) than you are to clean it and I'd be glad to 1)help you 2) teach you 3)do it for you." is how I would describe her philosophy. Not in a "I know better than you" cocky way, but in a gentle, "There, there dear, can I come alongside you?" way.

 

This applied whether I was buying a new house as a stupid young bride who looked at her help as intruding.

Whether I had just had a baby and was put off that she must think I couldn't do it myself.

Whether I had homeschooling, a business, and four kids missing a dad who worked alot and she came to visit and wanted to bless me in return for caring for her grandkids.

Her attitude was that she had better training, skills and spiritual and mental maturity than me. Instead of beating me over the head with that, she gracefully came down to where I was, lifted me up and helped me move past that drama junk and learn to care for my home.

 

What I mean is she was a servant - a helpmeet to her own husband and it was natural that she became a helpmeet to me. She is now living in my home and I am caring for her and her husband. What an honor, a privilege, and a golden opportunity to give back.

Even better, what an opportunity for me to learn from a master wife, mom and housecleaner :)

 

I pray that I can even in one small way, model that same servanthood and teach my girls to serve like she taught me. Without judgement, without accusation or blame, but with support.

 

I love this more than you can imagine.

[Arctic Bunny]

It is 3 steps forward, and now only 1 back, so I guess that means progress?????

 

I have a realtor coming THur to look at the house. I am going to have to prep her and say, "Imagine this house with over 50% of our stuff in storage!" Hopefully she can do that.

 

Right now we have a bathroom renovation going on so that causes more mess.

 

Yesterday we cleaned out a closet in the hallway.

 

Mon, Tue, and Wed we will be cleaning the office and dining room and I will fully clean my master bedroom.

 

I did take a load to the donation place yesterday and we filled a trash can for pick up.

 

So.......progress.......but so far to go!

My kick in the butt was a house inspection. Inspectors came, house looked better than any I've ever sold, they could (and did!) look in cupboards and closets. And what did they say. They told dh the front flower bed was not up to snuff and had too many weeds and that had to be taken care of. DH wasn't thinking clearly since he actually told me they said that.... But I'll admit I cried. It was a messy, ugly cry. But I'm continuing with my plan.

 

 

And in a pile of giant frustration, weeded the darn flower bed. Which will never be perfect. Grrrr....