Never met an unschooler

[Excelsior! Academy]

I have never met an unschooler.  Never.  Not once.  I wonder if my area has fewer.  I know its possible they aren't as vocal about their homeschooling style, but I'm not sure.  It's not that I live in a little box and only associate with cookie cutter curricula users.

 

 

 

 

[Denise in Florida]

Many people slide up and down the scale, from unschooler to scheduled work and back again.

 

We were mostly unschooler-ish but I did not use the label because I did not fit the whole identity. The unschoolers near me seemed rather protective of the term. :)

 

[regentrude]

I've never met an academically inclined homeschooler (for lack of a better way of putting it). 

 

Neither have I. Unschoolers, OTOH, I have met plenty.

[shanvan]

I have.  It was not a pleasant experience.  She questioned me up and down about how/why we 'do school'.  I thought she was just another curious homeschooling mom.  All the time she smugly smiled at me and then explained why she doesn't force her child to do anything and how much I'm harming my kids.  We were at a nature class and shortly after we finished talking her Ds came over to sit in her lap b/c he didn't want to do the activity and the teacher was trying to make him.  He was about 11-12 years old.  Maybe he had special needs I didn't know about though.  

 

Fortunately, I realize she is probably an exception and not all unschoolers are like her.  What is really interesting to me is that we seem like unschoolers on some days.  What type of work we do depends on many things and I am not always a stickler for sticking with the schedule.

[NicAnn]

Wow, I almost only meet unschoolers. I know some virtual school kids, and a few that use a box curriculum, but it's rare to find an rigorous family.

 

I dream of meeting a like-minded family using of TWTM! Heck, at this point I'd settle for heard of it.

[Above The Rowan]

Most of my "close" friends are unschoolers to some degree or another. The other chunk of friends we hang out with socially are TWTM classical homeschoolers. Not many in the middle zone, at all. Seems to be one end of the spectrum or the other. Then it seems a good size number of families don't claim any particular philosophy, beyond just following along with the provincial curriculum guidelines in the easiest way possible.

 

It's a very odd hs community here. Very odd, particularly if you land somewhere in the "eclectic middle".

[JessReplanted]

I met a few unschoolers when I was looking for a homeschool group in PA (although I think they were from OH).

They were very friendly, but made me uncomfortable. I remember a very uncomfortable conversation with one woman

about how she didn't make her kids learn to read until they chose to do it themselves. (I don't assume that all unschoolers are like this!)

[catz]

I have.  It was not a pleasant experience.  She questioned me up and down about how/why we 'do school'.  I thought she was just another curious homeschooling mom.  All the time she smugly smiled at me and then explained why she doesn't force her child to do anything and how much I'm harming my kids.  We were at a nature class and shortly after we finished talking her Ds came over to sit in her lap b/c he didn't want to do the activity and the teacher was trying to make him.  He was about 11-12 years old.  Maybe he had special needs I didn't know about though.  

 

Fortunately, I realize she is probably an exception and not all unschoolers are like her.  What is really interesting to me is that we seem like unschoolers on some days.  What type of work we do depends on many things and I am not always a stickler for sticking with the schedule.

 

I've met a few like this and they really don't want to mix with the commoners.  They seem to isolate themselves similarly to extremely religious homeschoolers.  We call ourselves eclectic.  For the elementary years, I focus on basics and then we are very ad hoc with science and history.  My kids have learned a ton this way.  I can see how unschooling could work for some families and kids.  I'm not a schedule hound either, but it is useful for us to have some more structured work.  I know MANY families homeschooling in a more eclectic way and they seem comfortable mixing with everyone and understanding what works for one family will not work for another. 

[trulycrabby]

I haven't met one either! There are a lot of homeschoolers in our area, but most of them (that I have talked to) use a boxed curriculum.

[Crimson Wife]

I've never met a "denim jumper" HSer IRL. I've seen a handful at various museum HS days over the years so I know they do exist in this area. But the religious conservative HSers I know IRL are mainstream enough that they wouldn't fit the stereotype.

[Joyofsixreboot]

Never met one but thus is a heavily " religious" homeschooling area. Not much crunchy granola happening.

[DawnM]

Really?  We have a lot of them.  Several have taken the SAT and scored above 95% in 8th grade.  We have some very strong achieving families with Tiger type moms.

 

 

I've never met an academically inclined homeschooler (for lack of a better way of putting it). 

 

[shanvan]

I've met a few like this and they really don't want to mix with the commoners.  

This is my favorite post of the day!   Off to to be a commoner now.  I had a feeling we are commoners.

[marbel]

I have.  It was not a pleasant experience.  She questioned me up and down about how/why we 'do school'.  I thought she was just another curious homeschooling mom.  All the time she smugly smiled at me and then explained why she doesn't force her child to do anything and how much I'm harming my kids.  We were at a nature class and shortly after we finished talking her Ds came over to sit in her lap b/c he didn't want to do the activity and the teacher was trying to make him.  He was about 11-12 years old.  Maybe he had special needs I didn't know about though.  

 

Fortunately, I realize she is probably an exception and not all unschoolers are like her.  What is really interesting to me is that we seem like unschoolers on some days.  What type of work we do depends on many things and I am not always a stickler for sticking with the schedule.

 

Interesting.  I am not an unschooler though I tend to lean that way and I do allow my kids lots of time to follow their own interests.  But, I usually get the questioning (bolded above) from the rigorous school-at-home or classical folk.  The unschoolers I've met are pretty much live-and-let-live sorts. 

 

Crazy how different peoples' experiences are.   Maybe we are seeing what we want to see, to some degree.   (I'm including myself in that.) 

[Above The Rowan]

Interesting. I am not an unschooler though I tend to lean that way and I do allow my kids lots of time to follow their own interests. But, I usually get the questioning (bolded above) from the rigorous school-at-home or classical folk. The unschoolers I've met are pretty much live-and-let-live sorts.

 

Crazy how different peoples' experiences are. Maybe we are seeing what we want to see, to some degree. (I'm including myself in that.)

This has been my experience also. Definitely interesting to hear others experiences.

[Onceuponatime]

Never met one but thus is a heavily " religious" homeschooling area. Not much crunchy granola happening.

 

I know some crunchy granola heavily religious homeschoolers.

 

My neighbors a couple of doors down are officially unschoolers. At first my boys expressed concern that their friends weren't getting a "proper" education. I told them it wasn't their business, just play and have fun.

 

I have a friend who spends most of her time carting her boys to various fun places up and down the east coast, she laughingly calls herself an unschooler but whenever they happen to be at home they use textbooks and workbooks.

 

In fact, I don't think any homeschool family that I know in real life homeschools the same way as any other family.

[Guest submarines]

I have never met an unschooler.  Never.  Not once.  I wonder if my area has fewer.  I know its possible they aren't as vocal about their homeschooling style, but I'm not sure.  It's not that I live in a little box and only associate with cookie cutter curricula users.

I think a lot depends on where in our homeschooling journeys we currently are. I was more interested in talking about unschooling when I was first considering it, but now, not so much. New homeschoolers we meet might suspect we are unschoolers, but unless they ask, I'm unlikely to volunteer information. And even if they ask I'd rather say "project based", unless I can see they are genuinely interested.

[Rosie_0801]

I've met a few like this and they really don't want to mix with the commoners.  They seem to isolate themselves similarly to extremely religious homeschoolers. 

 

That's been my experience as well. The few times I've met them, they seem an interesting bunch. We share a lot of similar interests. I'm just too tired to act on them, lol.

[Sun]

I don't think I've ever met someone who's homeschooling for religious reasons. I know a couple of homeschoolers who happen to be religious, but that's not their motivation for homeschooling. There are lots of unschoolers here, but I do know several families who are academically inclined. I even know a few families who are both unschoolers and academically inclined!

[bettyandbob]

I'd love to meet some of those. 

 

I'd ask them for tips.  LOL

 

I don't think you would.  It's competitive parenting on a stratospheric level. 

 

I've known a lot of high achieving homeschoolers. Our family was. But there's a difference when you add in the Tiger Mom approach. 

[Desert Strawberry]

I've never met an unschooler like the ones I read about here. All of the ones I know are very normal-looking, with workbooks, and reading an math and science and everything. It's more how they schedule their day and choose their subject matter that makes them unschoolers. 

[shanvan]

I've never met an unschooler like the ones I read about here. All of the ones I know are very normal-looking, with workbooks, and reading an math and science and everything. It's more how they schedule their day and choose their subject matter that makes them unschoolers. 

​You're raising an interesting point.  There are quite a few different ideas of just what unschooling means.

[Melissa B]

Our co-op has many unschoolers. The co-op classes are as close to schooling as many of them get. And we all know the co-op is mostly a social hour (for the parents as much as the children.) It has to be very informal as families will just choose not to show up if their kids don't feel like going and the kids that are unschoolers will just walk in and out of the classes as they choose. Our family is the most "schooly" in the co-op and everyone else is just somewhere along the scale. We all bump along nicely. I like all the other mothers (and the occasional father) at the co-op. Many of the parents in the co-op are very interesting and also very knowledgeable in their fields of study. Several are also current college professors. Many of the unschooled kids are incredibly knowledgeable in their areas of interest and I would guess (though I've never asked) that a few are highly gifted. But I will admit that the common lack of discipline among unschoolers (and honestly just homeschoolers in general) can be trying and I wouldn't be in a co-op that met more than once a week for a couple of hours.  :rolleyes:

[Crimson Wife]

I even know a few families who are both unschoolers and academically inclined!

I know a bunch of highly academically inclined "unschoolers". Their kids are often very interesting to talk to, because they tend to have really cool projects going on. To my mind, this is what "unschooling" SHOULD be. Unfortunately, I also know some families whose "unschooling" verges on academic neglect. It's one thing to fogo formal academics because the child is pursuing some all-consuming intellectual passion. It's quite another to allow your child to play video games all day because you don't believe in setting limits for him/her.

[Desert Strawberry]

I don't think I've ever met someone who's homeschooling for religious reasons. I know a couple of homeschoolers who happen to be religious, but that's not their motivation for homeschooling. There are lots of unschoolers here, but I do know several families who are academically inclined. I even know a few families who are both unschoolers and academically inclined!

Religion was the deciding factor for us to homeschool, but I don't think anyone knows that. 

[shanvan]

Interesting.  I am not an unschooler though I tend to lean that way and I do allow my kids lots of time to follow their own interests.  But, I usually get the questioning (bolded above) from the rigorous school-at-home or classical folk.  The unschoolers I've met are pretty much live-and-let-live sorts. 

 

Crazy how different peoples' experiences are.   Maybe we are seeing what we want to see, to some degree.   (I'm including myself in that.) 

Apparently I had crashed their classes, unknowingly.  The woman who questioned me followed up her questioning with "So, I guess you aren't an unschooler?'  Over the course of the next few weeks I heard all about their purchases from various farms.  Fresh meat, unpasteuried milk, etc.  I was kind of interested, except I couldn't afford to get in on the purchases.  I don't think they approved of me putting my budget first.  The bumper stickers on their cars in the parking lot were interesting, so yeah, they were pretty hardcore about their lifestyle choices and very judgmental.  It surprised me.  I thought only certain religious groups were like that.  I definitely wasn't one of the 'in crowd'.  

 

There are days where we lean toward unschooling b/c I want my Dc to take advantage of certain opportunities or follow an interest  but we do still have some curriculum or books we've chosen for the year, and we do try to finish a years worth of coursework in a year.  (Not always successful on that.)  The woman who questioned me had a real problem with that.  I think the particular people going to the classes were pretty down on planning in general.  Sometimes I am too!  Anyway, yes, I was surprised they weren't more live and let live.  

[bettyandbob]

I think some people are "not schooling" and claiming to be unschooling. I believe there are a lot of people who are great unschoolers, but there's also a group of people who call themselves unschoolers who just make all home schooling look bad. 

[shanvan]

I've never met an unschooler like the ones I read about here. All of the ones I know are very normal-looking, with workbooks, and reading an math and science and everything. It's more how they schedule their day and choose their subject matter that makes them unschoolers. 

 

To me, what you are describing is not an unschooling family.  It sounds more like traditional schooling with a flexible schedule..

 

I know a bunch of highly academically inclined "unschoolers". Their kids are often very interesting to talk to, because they tend to have really cool projects going on. To my mind, this is what "unschooling" SHOULD be. Unfortunately, I also know some families whose "unschooling" verges on academic neglect. It's one thing to fogo formal academics because the child is pursuing some all-consuming intellectual passion. It's quite another to allow your child to play video games all day because you don't believe in setting limits for him/her.

 

This is what I would consider true unschooling.

[Desert Strawberry]

. But I will admit that the common lack of discipline among unschoolers (and honestly just homeschoolers in general) can be trying and I wouldn't be in a co-op that met more than once a week for a couple of hours.  :rolleyes:

Huh. Here, homeschoolers are well known to be better behaved than other kids. Strangers often ask if we homeschool because my kids are well behaved.

I assumed it was a fairly universal benefit of more togetherness.

[shanvan]

Huh. Here, homeschoolers are well known to be better behaved than other kids. Strangers often ask if we homeschool because my kids are well behaved.

I assumed it was a fairly universal benefit of more togetherness.

You have not visited any of our local co-ops or you would not have this misconception!  It's sad, but true.  Search the boards and you will find many, many similar co-op stories.  I have not been willing to set foot in one since I left about 7 years ago.

[AimeeM]

I have. It didn't go well.

[dbmamaz]

I've met all sorts.  Well, I'm not sure I've spoken in person to highly academic, tiger-mom, headed-for-ivies types, but this is the south.  I've met radical unschoolers, more moderate unschoolers, there's a denim-jumper homeschooler down the street from me, I've met some that are doing academics but not at an advanced rate, I've had someone scoff at me because she would NEVER let her children read Harry Potter - but it took me years to meet her.  I think the more religious homeschoolers stick to the coops in their churches, because they are told at church that homeschooling is an important part of their religion.  I even met one person who said half of her church homeschools, but she hadnt been called to it yet. 

[abba12]

I have never (knowingly, beyond passing during a homeschool meetup) met another curriculum using academic homeschooler, and that's despite growing up homeschooled!

 

Lots of unschoolers, some awesome and academic, some awesome, not academic but learning the basics and lots of cool stuff along the way, and some educationally neglectful.

Lots of ACE schoolers (kinda like a private K12 we have in Australia... sortaish not really, I'm not sure it has a matching counterpart in america except ATI, but it's not a cult either)

Lots of SDE students (distance education, common here long before homeschooling due to kids in isolated areas)

Lots of religious homeschoolers of varying levels.

A few people who buy whatever is in the newsagents and go with that

A few non-academic HSers who's primary resources were Saxon math and the library

 

But I honestly can't think of any other homeschooler who would even know what WTM is, except for one possible exception, but they aren't particularly academic either, despite having kids who were obviously gifted (speaking in sentences before their first birthday type of gifted, that one is now a train driver, but he's happy so I suppose that's all that matters)

 

DH knows a family who were classical-style, latin, formal logic, the lot, they probably would have been quite academic but I only met them long after their kids graduated and religion was their primary motivation so is mostly what they talk about. The academics, while obviously focused on well, were incidental.

 

I myself homeschool for a huge list of reasons, some religious, and DH would call his motivations primarily religious, but we are definitely academic focused (not competitive tiger-mom style, I couldn't care less what others are doing, it's a little more complicated than that because I have my own goals which are in many ways different to the standard scope and sequence). It sucks not being able to talk to anyone irl about curriculum or advice regarding that sort of thing.

[ErinE]

I think I've met someone from every category you can imagine: crunchy granola religious fundies, crunchy granola earth mothers, unschoolers, academic (very few), etc. The only thing they had in common was their desire for what's best for their children (whatever the parents imagine it to be).

[Rosie_0801]

A few people who buy whatever is in the newsagents and go with that

 

Yeah! What's with that? I couldn't think of anything more mind numbingly boring! Maybe it's a cover to make their mother in laws happy while they are really building rockets in the back yard and breeding funny coloured potatoes.

[Dory]

I haven't met any unschoolers either. I have met homeschoolers that never schooled, but they didn't call themselves unschoolers, they just never got any school done. I have met MANY people who homeschool for religious reason. I have only met a couple people who homeschool for academic reasons.

 

We are the weird people around here. I LOVE piecing my kids curricula together and thinking through different approaches. We are fairly scheduled, but regularly ditch the schedule to do something that fascinates them. I like to let them explore bunny trails. My kids like to spend their free time playing with binary code and making math 'magic' boxes (this evenings entertainment). So I guess we unschool part time?

[Joanne]

I have met all sorts of homeschoolers. Unschooling ~ unparenting ~ right wing conservative Christian Apologia using ~ WTM ~ Sonlight ~ abeka ~ Bob Jones ~ Wiccan ~ pagan ~ atheist ~ gay ~ single ~ married ~

 

I have met some awesome people. My least favorite is the unparenting/unschoolers.

[Guest submarines]

I have met all sorts of homeschoolers. Unschooling ~ unparenting ~ right wing conservative Christian Apologia using ~ WTM ~ Sonlight ~ abeka ~ Bob Jones ~ Wiccan ~ pagan ~ atheist ~ gay ~ single ~ married ~

 

I have met some awesome people. My least favorite is the unparenting/unschoolers.

 

Are you using the forward slash to indicate mutually exclusive categories or as a joint, instead of a hyphen?

 

I tend to interpret forward slashes as the latter, but maybe I'm wrong.

 

[Ivey]

I have never met anyone that I would consider an unschooler.

 

I do know a family who claim to unschool, but who seem like eclectic homeschoolers to me. They're doing a great job, and I guess it just feels like false advertising to me when they say that their 12yo is unschooled but can do algebra. 

[bettyandbob]

Are you using the forward slash to indicate mutually exclusive categories or as a joint, instead of a hyphen?

 

I tend to interpret forward slashes as the latter, but maybe I'm wrong.

 

I think Joanne means people who both unparent and unschool. I think of unparents as the ones who say they unschool, but really they don't school at all --what I call not schooling. And their kids often have atrocious behavior.

[marbel]

I have never met anyone that I would consider an unschooler.

 

I do know a family who claim to unschool, but who seem like eclectic homeschoolers to me. They're doing a great job, and I guess it just feels like false advertising to me when they say that their 12yo is unschooled but can do algebra. 

 

Maybe the child chose to learn algebra.   I don't understand why that would make them not unschoolers. 

[Joanne]

I think Joanne means people who both unparent and unschool. I think of unparents as the ones who say they unschool, but really they don't school at all --what I call not schooling. And their kids often have atrocious behavior.

 

There are unschoolers who unschool as an "educational" paradigm only but parent with structure and authority.

 

There are unschoolers who unschool while also embracing an "unparenting" (non coercive) pedagogy.

 

I make a distinction between them.

 

~~~~

 

As an aside to this response, formal, labeled unschoolers would say that you can't "unschool math" or "unschool in the summer" or "lean towards unschooling because you allow your kids to follow their interests." They would defend unschooling as a honoring of a child's innate and inherent curiosity and desire to learn across the board. You may be less structured, controlling, or formal in areas but it's not "unschooling" as pure unschoolers call it.

 

I respect unschooling as a paper theory - it's very appealing and theoretically attractive. In actuality, though, I am not a fan.

[TheAutumnOak]

I don't think I've ever met someone who's homeschooling for religious reasons. I know a couple of homeschoolers who happen to be religious, but that's not their motivation for homeschooling. There are lots of unschoolers here, but I do know several families who are academically inclined. I even know a few families who are both unschoolers and academically inclined!

This is my experience here as well...

[Carrie12345]

I haven't met anyone IRL who has self-described as an unschooler.  (This early, pre-coffee, I first wrote "as a homeschooler."  That's funny!)  I know many "relaxed" homeschoolers, many homeschoolers of young children who do more "natural" learning, but I'm pretty sure I haven't heard "unschool" in person. So far.

 

I will say I have dreamed about unschooling.  It's just not a good match for my personality, and I don't feel it'd be a good match for my kids. But I do enjoy the theory.

[marbel]

<snip>

 

As an aside to this response, formal, labeled unschoolers would say that you can't "unschool math" or "unschool in the summer" or "lean towards unschooling because you allow your kids to follow their interests." They would defend unschooling as a honoring of a child's innate and inherent curiosity and desire to learn across the board. You may be less structured, controlling, or formal in areas but it's not "unschooling" as pure unschoolers call it.

 

<snip>

 

That is true.  Better terms are "eclectic" or "identity-directed" homeschoolers.

[Wheres Toto]

We seem to have a bit of everything around here.  Maybe because the regulations are so easy (none).

 

I think most of those I've met personally fall into the crunchy category for life in general, but eclectic or relaxed for school.  They use a few workbooks or curriculum but do a lot of exploration especially for history and science.  There are a lot of people homeschooling due to health/allergy issues, bullying or lousy school districts. 

 

I don't meet too many on-line schoolers but K-12 is not available as a public school option here (except for a special school for at-risk kids in Newark).

 

There are more conservative religious homeschoolers than I expected to find in NJ but I guess it makes sense because our schools do actually teach evolution and I"m sure would be considered fairly liberal. 

 

I have met a few unschoolers but they tend to have fairly young kids and are more delayed schoolers, I think.  They have plans to get more structured at some point.

 

[dbmamaz]

I have met all sorts of homeschoolers. Unschooling ~ unparenting ~ right wing conservative Christian Apologia using ~ WTM ~ Sonlight ~ abeka ~ Bob Jones ~ Wiccan ~ pagan ~ atheist ~ gay ~ single ~ married ~

 

I have met some awesome people. My least favorite is the unparenting/unschoolers.

Haha my atheist gay single parent friend just decided to homeschool!  I've also met Muslim homeschoolers.  And an online homeschooler using Keystone, but in VA the free online school seems not be being used much, and it only goes through elementary or maybe middle, definitely not high school.  

 

One of the unschoolers I met started out with her kids in Waldorf school, and when she started homeschoolng, she set up a play store and they spent a lot of time buying, pricing, giving change, doing discounts.  Her middle child (the only one who was easy going and interested in academics) was doing the books with her for the family business.  So, thats one way to unschool math.  Her other two kids, tho, were kinda mean night-owls who wouldnt do anything she suggested, ever, it seemed.

 

One of my closest homeschool friends atm (mother of one of my son's closest friends) is unschooling.  Her son reads voraciously, esp history and political stuff, but they werent doing ANYTHING for math.  I gave her the first 4 Murderous Maths books, and she said he is reading them some, and coming to her saying "did you know this?" about some math tidbit.  So thats a non-coercive, non-curriculum approach to at least have some basic math literacy.  (I use Murderous Maths books usually as a preview to a new thing we'll be doing in math, so the concepts are already familiar when we get to it in the textbook)

[bettyandbob]

Some unschoolers get very into a subject and realize to progress they need to learn math. Are they no longer unschoolers if they decide to study math so they can progress in the subject which interests them. I wouldn't think so, but perhaps there are some people who believe that is wrong.

[Slache]

I have adult friends who were unschooled and because of it I would never unschool. The only one that wanted to go to college couldn't at first because his math was so low it took 4 college courses to catch up, none of them understand the scientific method or learned anything about science because the Bible is more important, they don't know about entire people groups, economics, never studied foreign language, can't spell, have terrible vocabularies, don't understand how our government works...

 

I really don't understand what they did. Her mom won't talk about it because she's burnt out on homeschooling and is now sending the younger ones to a private high school, but since they've never taken formal courses and are so behind in math I don't understand how that's going to work.

[albeto.]

There are unschoolers who unschool as an "educational" paradigm only but parent with structure and authority.

 

There are unschoolers who unschool while also embracing an "unparenting" (non coercive) pedagogy.

 

I make a distinction between them.

 

~~~~

 

As an aside to this response, formal, labeled unschoolers would say that you can't "unschool math" or "unschool in the summer" or "lean towards unschooling because you allow your kids to follow their interests." They would defend unschooling as a honoring of a child's innate and inherent curiosity and desire to learn across the board. You may be less structured, controlling, or formal in areas but it's not "unschooling" as pure unschoolers call it.

 

I respect unschooling as a paper theory - it's very appealing and theoretically attractive. In actuality, though, I am not a fan.

 

Because I don't coerce my children to comply, I'm not parenting them?

 

:huh: