The Hannah Anderson case is disturbing and..........

[ktgrok]

I felt the same way. Honestly, it rang strange to me from the beginning. I really don't know why. She also got her nails done--pink for her mom and blue for her brother, supposedly. I wondered if it could be shock too, but I don't know. It isn't sitting right with me. I almost posted about it earlier today, too.

 

I can say that for me, touch helps me feel better....when I'm very upset I often get my nails done or my hair cut...it's like getting therapy or something for me. So that doesn't seem weird to me. Also, with a funeral coming up it makes sense to get her nails done. 

[ktgrok]

If Jesus shows up, can someone please call me?!?

 

Anyway, what is "The Gift"? I've only heard that in reference to virginity.

 

It is a reference to the earlier book he wrote, "The Gift of Fear". He's saying that creeped out feeling you get sometimes is a gift, andyou should pay attention. 

 

He is NOT saying that EVERY predator sends signals you will be able to pick up on. But that if you DO pick up on somehting that is "off", don't dismiss it. Don't talk youself out of it. Go with your fear, you are probably right. 

[PeacefulChaos]

Nope. Sorry. I'm not believing that a man that level of unwell was in relationship with the family for that long without red flags.

 

I will believe that the red flags were not recognized, or that they were actively ignored. Because not recognized and actively ignored are the natural consequence of the "be nice" and "don't make waves"  culture we are in, and especially women/girls.

There ARE signs. If you are trained in them, you see them.

 

Well, this doesn't quote the post you quoted, but I was going to say that I didn't see anything in that article about the red flags you are referring to, either.  

I'm not disagreeing with you about what you are saying - I just don't see where the article linked has anything to do with that.

[Moxie]

If Jesus shows up, can someone please call me?!?

 

Anyway, what is "The Gift"? I've only heard that in reference to virginity.

Could you tell me where you have seen virginity called "the gift"??

[albeto.]

Could you tell me where you have seen virginity called "the gift"??

 

I used to read books like these to my kids when they were younger:

 

 

The Princess and the Kiss: A Story of God's Gift of Purity

 

This is the context with which I am familiar ("The wise girl waits for the man who is worthy of her precious gift."). It didn't seem to apply in this context, so I asked. I appreciate the answers.

 

:)

[DarlaS]

He is NOT saying that EVERY predator sends signals you will be able to pick up on. But that if you DO pick up on somehting that is "off", don't dismiss it. Don't talk yourself out of it. Go with your fear, you are probably right.

:iagree:

 

Women in particular are raised to be "nice" and that can prompt us to ignore things we should not.

 

He also writes a bit about behaviors that are NOT alarming. People often forget that, and assume the whole book is about promoting paranoia. It seemed rather the opposite to me.

[Alicia64]

:iagree:

 

Women in particular are raised to be "nice" and that can prompt us to ignore things we should not.

 

He also writes a bit about behaviors that are NOT alarming. People often forget that, and assume the whole book is about promoting paranoia. It seemed rather the opposite to me.

 

I thought The Gift was excellent. I just want to add to the conversation that while anybody might be tricked by a one day encounter with a Ted Bundy -- I think it would be hard to miss the flags with an "uncle" that is around for years. I would wonder: did he date? have a girlfriend? what was his job like? did his own father kidnap a teen? You know, that kind of thing.

 

Just another aside... I had my boys in a "good school" for Kindergarten and I thought that from the start there were at least six or seven red flags. I was mad at myself for waiting for the seventh one to pull them out in December to begin homeschooling.

 

When I would talk to fellow parents in our class about the red flags, they just looked at me like, "whatever" and rolled their eyes. Some of it was really inappropriate (IMO) like taking the kids -- yes, including Kinders -- on an overnight trip three hours away. Without parents. The teachers would pick six parents to go, but all the parents couldn't go. (And many were gleeful about it.)

 

To me, this was a red flag. Everybody else in that class let their Kinders go. I think we all have different sensitivities. I saw a red flag in that trip. The other parents saw a wonderful learning opportunity for their five year old.

 

I get mad five years later even thinking about it.

 

Alley

[aggieamy]

I think the case is so sad and I really feel for her father.  Parenting is so hard without dealing with something like this.  Ugh.

 

Hey Albeto -  Why are registered on WTM twice?

[unsinkable]

I think the case is so sad and I really feel for her father. Parenting is so hard without dealing with something like this. Ugh.

 

Hey Albeto - Why are registered on WTM twice?

I haven't been following this case closely.

 

Was the dad not living with them because of work? Or were the parents separated?

[Seasider]

I can say that for me, touch helps me feel better....when I'm very upset I often get my nails done or my hair cut...it's like getting therapy or something for me. So that doesn't seem weird to me. Also, with a funeral coming up it makes sense to get her nails done.

I remember back in the mid nineties when Susan Smith drowned her two boys by driving her car into the lake. Investigators said one of the clues to her guilt was that, before the car was found and they were presumed kidnapped, she was too well groomed for press conferences. Not the thoroughly distraught grieving mother they expected to have been dealing with. Don't know if that's universal, or whether or not it will apply to Hannah, it just came to mind as I read these details.

[Guest]

Totally. And why I posted what I did. As I read about this case, the signs were all over the history with this man.

 

The first few posts in this thread after the OP were like my anti-point. I don't see "men", "all men", "many men" as the enemy or potential predators. I'm RAISING 2 boys/men and it sure makes me sad to think they are suspect simply because they have penises.

 

Protecting the Gift is about *radar* and knowing the signs - which predators wear.

 

What are the signs which predators wear? I have not read the book. 

[Samiam]

I just can't shake the feeling of something being "off" here. News said she had went on trips alone with him...out of town trips. The day he murdered her mother and brother....cell phone records show 13 calls between the two of them, to each other. I have to wonder.......and while I know she's a minor, and I know he's at fault regardless, and I know adults can skew minds of children aka brainwash..........I get all that.....but I do wonder if there's more to the story than a simple "he kidnapped her". Time will tell I guess, as facts come out.

[albeto.]

Hey Albeto -  Why are registered on WTM twice?

 

My original account wasn't accepting my password and the email is gone - no getting back into it.  :(

[zoobie]

Could you tell me where you have seen virginity called "the gift"??

The first time I heard the book title, I thought it was about keeping your kids from having premarital sex, along the lines of the purity ring/father-daughter purity ball dances. The terminology is common. Hopefully Oprah's website is an uncontroversial link for an example:

 

http://www.oprah.com/relationships/Father-Daughter-Purity-Balls-to-Promote-Abstinence-Chastity-Pledges

 

One of the marketers of the purity rings used a gift-wrapped heart as their logo I think?

 

Anyway, I was surprised what the book was NOT based on the title.

[Guest submarines]

What crime are you suggesting she committed?

There aren't enough details to suggest anything.

[Rebecca VA]

Photos of Hannah show a girl looks and acts much older than 16.  She is a show-off in the photos.  (Case in point:  this link: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2395276/Out-public-time-Kidnapping-survivor-Hannah-Anderson-spotted-attending-fundraiser-dead-mother-brother.html -- is she even wearing a bra under that low-cut top?  And this is just a couple of days after her "ordeal" in the mountains with a creepy older man?)

 

There's something about this girl that doesn't sit right with me.  Maybe she didn't collude with the guy in killing her family, but she may very well have flirted with him to the point that he really believed there was an understanding between them.

[Joker]

Photos of Hannah show a girl looks and acts much older than 16.  She is a show-off in the photos.  (Case in point:  this link: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2395276/Out-public-time-Kidnapping-survivor-Hannah-Anderson-spotted-attending-fundraiser-dead-mother-brother.html -- is she even wearing a bra under that low-cut top?  And this is just a couple of days after her "ordeal" in the mountains with a creepy older man?)

 

There's something about this girl that doesn't sit right with me.  Maybe she didn't collude with the guy in killing her family, but she may very well have flirted with him to the point that he really believed there was an understanding between them.

 

Wow! :huh:  So, a guy kills two people and a dog. He then kidnaps a 16 year old. People are going to now discuss her clothing and how immodest they think it is. Then, because of how much they disagree with how this 16 year old is dressing they will think she must have flirted with said murderer and is in part responsible. I'm disgusted.

 

[Rebecca VA]

Don't be disgusted.  How she dresses and presents herself is a reflection of who she is, and what her values are.  

 

I *did not say* she colluded with him in the killings.  I'm just saying that she seems to put herself out there -- and there have been other Facebook photos that show her hamming it up for the camera -- and it may have caused the killer to get the idea that they were a couple or something.

[Guest submarines]

Photos of Hannah show a girl looks and acts much older than 16.  She is a show-off in the photos.  (Case in point:  this link: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2395276/Out-public-time-Kidnapping-survivor-Hannah-Anderson-spotted-attending-fundraiser-dead-mother-brother.html -- is she even wearing a bra under that low-cut top?  And this is just a couple of days after her "ordeal" in the mountains with a creepy older man?)

 

There's something about this girl that doesn't sit right with me.  Maybe she didn't collude with the guy in killing her family, but she may very well have flirted with him to the point that he really believed there was an understanding between them.

This kind of logic is sickening. Is she even wearing a bra? Please.

[Rebecca VA]

Well, if I'd been kidnapped and forced to live in a tent with a creepy guy for nights on end, I wouldn't be wearing a skimpy top, short shorts, and no bra just days later.  I'd be covered up from head to toe, and I'd be shaky and traumatized.  

 

I guess people have different ways of dealing with grief...but her way is definitely unusual.

[Joker]

Don't be disgusted.  How she dresses and presents herself is a reflection of who she is, and what her values are.  

 

I *did not say* she colluded with him in the killings.  I'm just saying that she seems to put herself out there -- and there have been other Facebook photos that show her hamming it up for the camera -- and it may have caused the killer to get the idea that they were a couple or something.

 

Then I guess you don't think very much of most teenagers. She looks like any other normal teenager, at least around here. Maybe it's because we're on the coast and so is she. The reason really doesn't matter though.  I will continue to be disgusted if her clothing choices are called out as immodest and someone says it could mean a grown man got the wrong idea because of it.

[FaithManor]

Wow! :huh:  So, a guy kills two people and a dog. He then kidnaps a 16 year old. People are going to now discuss her clothing and how immodest they think it is. Then, because of how much they disagree with how this 16 year old is dressing they will think she must have flirted with said murderer and is in part responsible. I'm disgusted.

YES, this gobsmacked me too! So much so that I just couldn't respond when I

first read it. So if some boy gets kidnapped and his family murdered and he

likes to wear speedos, he asked for it????

[PinkyandtheBrains.]

Historically, children have been tried and convicted in adult courts. She is 16.

 

I haven't followed the case closely, but speaking generally, not every 16 year old who commits a crime is a victim.

 

Karla Homolka was 20 when the documented cases started. She didn't suddenly turn a cruel murderer at 20.

 

Posting my standard, I don't think we should try children as adults, ever. Unless we are preparted to also give them all the rights, responsiblities and privileges of adulthood as well.

 

 

Back to the regularly scheduled discussion.

[Ipsey]

I read "The Gift of Fear" several years ago, and had to nod to myself. I've noticed "oddities" and times when I've been anxious about experiences with people in the past, and knew exactly what the writer was talking about. I have taught my daughter that as well.  If a person makes you uncomfortable, for any reason, listen to that. Even before I taught her that, she was spending the night at a friend's house, and the mother, a single lady, decided to have a man spend the night. My daughter did not feel comfortable, and called me, telling me she was feeling ill, and I picked her up.

 

I told her she had done the right thing.

 

A couple of months later, the man was put in jail on a domestic.

 

I don't think there's anything wrong with listening to your instincts, or realizing that you have them. That was what the book said to me. "Listen and be aware."

 

As for "Protecting the Gift," I had no idea they were related, and I took thought it was a book about Christian Patriarchy and protecting daughters from sexual impurity.  So, this has been a revelation to me! :)

 

 

[albeto.]

She is a show-off in the photos.  (Case in point:  this link: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2395276/Out-public-time-Kidnapping-survivor-Hannah-Anderson-spotted-attending-fundraiser-dead-mother-brother.html -- is she even wearing a bra under that low-cut top?

 

She's getting out of the car and walking. In what way is that being a "show-off"?

 

Unsinkable might be wrong. There may yet be time to talk about slut-shaming in this. :(

[Guest submarines]

Well, if I'd been kidnapped and forced to live in a tent with a creepy guy for nights on end, I wouldn't be wearing a skimpy top, short shorts, and no bra just days later.  I'd be covered up from head to toe, and I'd be shaky and traumatized.  

 

I guess people have different ways of dealing with grief...but her way is definitely unusual.

And someone else might think that by hiding and covering yourself head to toe you are showing defeat. Maybe she's a strong young woman who wants to show the rest of us that her ordeal does not define her. Even if her way of dealing with grief is unusual, it is not "worse" or "better" than anyone else's. She's wearing her typical summer clothes. Is she supposed to go shopping for a black robe?

 

FWIW, the way the case is portrayed by the media makes me think that there's more to it and I am not dismissing the possibility that the girl might be more implicated than it is known right now. And yet, comments such as yours both blame the victim and reinforce victim mentality.

[ktgrok]

Don't be disgusted.  How she dresses and presents herself is a reflection of who she is, and what her values are.  

 

I *did not say* she colluded with him in the killings.  I'm just saying that she seems to put herself out there -- and there have been other Facebook photos that show her hamming it up for the camera -- and it may have caused the killer to get the idea that they were a couple or something.

 

How is she "putting herself out there" by attending a fundraiser for her family? She was sneaking in a back door when those few photos were taken...sneaking in the back door is hardly trying to get attention or putting oneself "out there" wherever there is. She's wearing a t shirt, not lingerie. I hardly think that a grown man sees a girl in a tshirt that shows cleavage and thinks that automatically makes them a couple...that's absurd. 

[ktgrok]

Well, if I'd been kidnapped and forced to live in a tent with a creepy guy for nights on end, I wouldn't be wearing a skimpy top, short shorts, and no bra just days later.  I'd be covered up from head to toe, and I'd be shaky and traumatized.  

 

I guess people have different ways of dealing with grief...but her way is definitely unusual.

 

Or maybe, she feels best right now in her favorite clothes, as they bring a sense of normalcy? I hardly think that days after being kidnapped she's going to go out and buy a new wardrobe...she's wearing her normal clothing. In fact, if she DID go buy a bunch of clothes I'm sure someone would be saying that was suspicious behavior. 

 

She didn't show up in a bikini, she's wearing a t-shirt and shorts, same as the girl she is with. Normal attire for a teen in a hot climate. 

[Guest submarines]

Spam reported.

[Joanne]

She is a CHILD.  She is a victim.  regardless.  she can not consent.  Jesus.

 

 

I think protecting the gift is a bunch of hogwash.

 

 

Agree with sentence 1, 2, 3 and 4. And if the length of history with this man goes back years, it is even MORE so.

 

I'm kind of :crying:  :confused1:  at your comment of protecting the gift?? It is a reference to a published book for parents on how to approach parenting decisions and interactions in a way to read situations and make decisions based on information and statistics that create the best chances of the child (the "gift" reference) being protected. Maybe you didn't know that reference?

 

 

As for "Protecting the Gift," I had no idea they were related, and I took thought it was a book about Christian Patriarchy and protecting daughters from sexual impurity.  So, this has been a revelation to me! :)

 

 

Oh, lord, no, not a Christian patriarchy book. You should know me better than that!!

[Moxie]

Photos of Hannah show a girl looks and acts much older than 16. She is a show-off in the photos. (Case in point: this link: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2395276/Out-public-time-Kidnapping-survivor-Hannah-Anderson-spotted-attending-fundraiser-dead-mother-brother.html -- is she even wearing a bra under that low-cut top? And this is just a couple of days after her "ordeal" in the mountains with a creepy older man?)

 

There's something about this girl that doesn't sit right with me. Maybe she didn't collude with the guy in killing her family, but she may very well have flirted with him to the point that he really believed there was an understanding between them.

I expected to click the link and see her really putting it out there the way you describe it. She looks very normal in these photos. You might want to reconsider your judgement.

[Joanne]

If this man has been involved with this family for years, during very confusing, vulnerable years I have one word:

 

grooming

 

Grooming her would result in some incongruous, seemingly odd behavior.

[Moxie]

If this man has been involved with this family for years, during very confusing, vulnerable years I have one word:

 

grooming

 

Grooming her would result in some incongruous, seemingly odd behavior.

I guess that is my question. Say it turns out she played a part in this (I'm not saying that) how do they decide if she was a groomed victim or a beginning nut case? Could a psychiatrist figure it out?

[Annie G]

Let's also remember she's a teen in Southern California during the summer. She's dressed just like every other teen.

 

 

As a matter of fact, she appears to be wearing the same shirt and shorts as the girl walking beside her. Yup, she looks like every other teen. I was expecting a raunchy outfit based on some comments. Looks pretty typical. 

[Joanne]

I guess that is my question. Say it turns out she played a part in this (I'm not saying that) how do they decide if she was a groomed victim or a beginning nut case? Could a psychiatrist figure it out?

 

 

If this man has been involved with the family for *years*, she was not able to give consent and her participation in anything was not equal or mutual.

 

The appropropriate professional in this situation would be psychologist.

[momacacia]

Don't be disgusted.  How she dresses and presents herself is a reflection of who she is, and what her values are.  

I get what you're saying, but I also get that this is "rape culture" talking. A woman should be able to dress like a streetwalker and still not be raped or kidnapped or have males think she is "sending them messages." Will people make judgment calls based on dress, yes of course. Does how someone dresses entitle other people to victimize them, no.

 

This is the "Hannah made me do it" mentality. "Well look at how she dresses, of course he was attracted to her and wanted to run off with her. She asked for it." The truth is, that no normal 40yo male should look at a 16yo girl and think that she is flirting with him and that they are going to run off together into the sunset. She might be a twit, a bubbly blonde and might flirt with every guy around, but she is off of his market. Period.

[SKL]

I haven't worn a bra in ages, so does that make me a slut or murderer?  Wow.

 

Some compassion.  This is someone's daughter.

[kitten18]

Photos of Hannah show a girl looks and acts much older than 16.  She is a show-off in the photos.  (Case in point:  this link: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2395276/Out-public-time-Kidnapping-survivor-Hannah-Anderson-spotted-attending-fundraiser-dead-mother-brother.html -- is she even wearing a bra under that low-cut top?  And this is just a couple of days after her "ordeal" in the mountains with a creepy older man?)

 

There's something about this girl that doesn't sit right with me.  Maybe she didn't collude with the guy in killing her family, but she may very well have flirted with him to the point that he really believed there was an understanding between them.

Are you for real?!?!?!  I think I'm going to vomit!  Wow, I don't know what else to say, just, wow!

[LucyStoner]

Photos of Hannah show a girl looks and acts much older than 16.  She is a show-off in the photos.  (Case in point:  this link: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2395276/Out-public-time-Kidnapping-survivor-Hannah-Anderson-spotted-attending-fundraiser-dead-mother-brother.html -- is she even wearing a bra under that low-cut top?  And this is just a couple of days after her "ordeal" in the mountains with a creepy older man?)

 

There's something about this girl that doesn't sit right with me.  Maybe she didn't collude with the guy in killing her family, but she may very well have flirted with him to the point that he really believed there was an understanding between them.

 

This is a bad joke right?  Right?  Seriously, if you are being earnest that is the sickest, most messed up reasoning I have ever read on WTM.  And with all the modesty threads, well, that is saying a lot.  

[klmama]

I looked at the pictures.  Her clothing is not as modest as I'd prefer, but I know many wonderful teen girls who dress just like that and are not promiscuous or questionable in any way.  They are very fashion conscious, and what the girls in the photos are wearing is in fashion.  Whatever.  It's a common problem with teens, and it recurs in each generation.  I try to look at kids' hearts, not their clothes, and this poor girl's heart has been broken.  I'm glad she has friends to stand by her as she processes everything that's happened to her.  Many kids don't feel comfortable telling their parents about important things, and this girl has to deal with the results of not telling for the rest of her life.  Give her a break.  If there's more to it, it will come out in time. 

 

 

[Scrub Jay]

I expected to click the link and see her really putting it out there the way you describe it. She looks very normal in these photos. You might want to reconsider your judgement.

I scrolled down wondering where the referenced photos were. She's wearing a t-shirt. Color me confused.

 

And the girl with her is wearing a similar (the same?) shirt as well. Maybe the color has significance.

[nmoira]

Well, if I'd been kidnapped and forced to live in a tent with a creepy guy for nights on end, I wouldn't be wearing a skimpy top, short shorts, and no bra just days later.  I'd be covered up from head to toe, and I'd be shaky and traumatized.  

 

I guess people have different ways of dealing with grief...but her way is definitely unusual.

 

I can honestly say I have no idea how I'd look, dress, act or react after being "forced to live in a tent with a creepy guy for nights on end." Have you worked with girls who have undergone this degree of trauma? I'm curious as to the degree of your expertise that you deem yourself qualified to judge her.

 

I'm also curious as to what you you think of the vitriol directed to Amanda Berry, who dared to go out and try to have a bit of fun at a local concert not long after her rescue? Plenty of people tried to project how they'd be acting were they her and in her position. The problem with this of course is that they are not.

[Delirium]

Photos of Hannah show a girl looks and acts much older than 16.  She is a show-off in the photos.  (Case in point:  this link: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2395276/Out-public-time-Kidnapping-survivor-Hannah-Anderson-spotted-attending-fundraiser-dead-mother-brother.html -- is she even wearing a bra under that low-cut top?  And this is just a couple of days after her "ordeal" in the mountains with a creepy older man?)

 

There's something about this girl that doesn't sit right with me.  Maybe she didn't collude with the guy in killing her family, but she may very well have flirted with him to the point that he really believed there was an understanding between them.

:scared: :svengo: and any other I can't believe I just read that emoticons.  The girl next to her in the photos is dressed almost identically. Is she also showing off and colluding with the Uncle?

 

By you referencing the Daily Fail, I could say that your judgement in news sites is lacking and that it "represents yourself, is a reflection of who you are, and what your values are."  You're cool with me judging you, right?

[awisha.]

Photos of Hannah show a girl looks and acts much older than 16.  She is a show-off in the photos.  (Case in point:  this link: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2395276/Out-public-time-Kidnapping-survivor-Hannah-Anderson-spotted-attending-fundraiser-dead-mother-brother.html -- is she even wearing a bra under that low-cut top?  And this is just a couple of days after her "ordeal" in the mountains with a creepy older man?)

 

There's something about this girl that doesn't sit right with me.  Maybe she didn't collude with the guy in killing her family, but she may very well have flirted with him to the point that he really believed there was an understanding between them.

 

 

Don't be disgusted.  How she dresses and presents herself is a reflection of who she is, and what her values are.  

 

I *did not say* she colluded with him in the killings.  I'm just saying that she seems to put herself out there -- and there have been other Facebook photos that show her hamming it up for the camera -- and it may have caused the killer to get the idea that they were a couple or something.

 

 

Well, if I'd been kidnapped and forced to live in a tent with a creepy guy for nights on end, I wouldn't be wearing a skimpy top, short shorts, and no bra just days later.  I'd be covered up from head to toe, and I'd be shaky and traumatized.  

 

I guess people have different ways of dealing with grief...but her way is definitely unusual.

 

 

WTF?!?!

 

Seriously, seriously?!?!

 

Are you really that flipping stupid?? Why on earth would you post comments like that??

 

 

My head hurts.

[Laurie4b]

There were something like a dozen calls between Hannah and DiMaggio (cell calls) prior to the murders on the day they occurred. Wonder what that was all about? For someone she considers "creepy," that is a lot of contact.

 

Maybe he was pressing and she was saying no.

[awisha.]

Don't be disgusted.  How she dresses and presents herself is a reflection of who she is, and what her values are.  

 

 

The way you comment about a 16 year old girl on an internet forum is also a reflection of who you are and what your values are.

[Laurie4b]

She is a CHILD.  She is a victim.  regardless.  she can not consent. 

 

 

 

Agreed--insofar as being kidnapped, sexual assault, etc.

 

However, if (and I don't see evidence for it) she was sucked into a romantic relationship with this man (doubtful based on friend's very believable account of her being "creeped out") and knew about the murders ahead of time, she would not be a victim with regard to the murders. She would be tried, possibly as an adult.

[*Lulu*]

Well, if I'd been kidnapped and forced to live in a tent with a creepy guy for nights on end, I wouldn't be wearing a skimpy top, short shorts, and no bra just days later. I'd be covered up from head to toe, and I'd be shaky and traumatized.

 

I guess people have different ways of dealing with grief...but her way is definitely unusual.

The mind, it boggles.

 

Unless you have endured the above scenario, or studied kidnapping/trauma in depth, (in an academic way, not just reading a Wikipedia article or some third rate blogger pontificating), then, and excuse me for being blunt, you have no damn idea what the hell you'd do or what is usual.

 

If everyone who is traumatized or victimized should appear to others as so our reporting rate for sexual crimes would be a lot higher than it is now. Or, if we follow your logic, people claiming victimization who are not clearly shaken or tramitized are liars.

 

Oh, that doesn't seem right?

 

No joke.

 

Neither does your post.

[Ipsey]

 

 

Oh, lord, no, not a Christian patriarchy book. You should know me better than that!!

 

Oh, indeed I do! That's why, when I saw your post, I Googled "Protecting the Gift" right then 'cause I knew I was missing something

 

:)

[RoughCollie]

Well, if I'd been kidnapped and forced to live in a tent with a creepy guy for nights on end, I wouldn't be wearing a skimpy top, short shorts, and no bra just days later.  I'd be covered up from head to toe, and I'd be shaky and traumatized.  

 

I guess people have different ways of dealing with grief...but her way is definitely unusual.

 

Really?  How do you know what you would do?  It's mere speculation.

 

I happen to know what I'd do, because I was kidnapped by a stranger when I was 19 years old, from a public place, at 5:30 p.m. during daylight, while modestly dressed, in a low crime area, and not under the influence of alchohol or drugs.  It wasn't my fault, either -- my attire, cute figure, pretty face, and bubbly personality did not cause a man to kidnap me.