Do you walk into back yards uninvited?

[UmMusa]

I know this is a regional question in some ways. I know in smaller towns it is more acceptable, but I've never been in that small town.

 

Let's say a neighbor child is in your backyard with your kids... would you be surprised to find the neighbor parent suddenly on your deck? (The doorbell works and is at the front of the house while you would have to wind around the side of the house into our breezeway and through it to reach the back deck)

 

To be honest, I was surprised to find, on two separate occasions, neighbor moms standing on my deck! I felt like they just let themselves into my house even though it was my back yard; you still had to make an effort to get there which involved walking around my house. They normally knock, ring the bell, or text. Why not just txt me saying 'hey I'm on my way over'. A heads up instead of just appearing??

 

You don't have to agree with me, but I'm admitting that I wasn't happy to find them doing that. I personally would NEVER just walk into someone's back yard without letting them know I was coming.

[justamouse]

I wouldn't even consider it. And I don't understand it and I live in a small town. Other people's property is their property, not mine, and I won't trespass, I will only come over if asked or if my neighbor is outside and we feel like chatting.

[PentecostalMom]

Um, no. And being in the south if you walked uninvited into someone's back yard, you may be met by a large dog or large muzzle (and not a dog muzzle).

[Ohdanigirl]

Um, no. And being in the south if you walked uninvited into someone's back yard, you may be met by a large dog or large muzzle (and not a dog muzzle).

 

 

This is the first thing that came to my mind.

[theYoungerMrsWarde]

I wouldn't do it, but on the other hand that is her child back there. It's not like she just walked back their for no apparent/good reason.

[Joker]

I could see it happening since their kids were already in your backyard. If they came looking for them and the kids called to them or something. Where I'm from and where I live now it wouldn't be a big deal.

 

It would bother me if they showed up in my back yard if their kids were not playing there.

[Laurie4b]

Is the deck in the backyard where the kids are? If someone's kids were on my property, I wouldn't have any problem with them coming on my property in the place where the kids are for 2 reasons: 1) having the kids there makes it not private at that particular point in time and 2) parents should always have access to their kids.

 

If a backyard is private (ie fenced in and no kids there) and someone showed up on my back deck, then I would be taken aback.

 

But in our old house, the backyards were open and my backdoor neighbor and I routinely approached each other's homes through the back yard/deck. It was the most natural way to do it.

[Jean in Newcastle]

If my child had been invited onto your property (and by extension in my mind, I am invited to come and get him) and I heard sounds from the backyard indicating that was where people were and the yard wasn't fenced, then I might. But here, it is a rare yard that isn't fenced with the gate not easily opened from outside. So I would knock or ring the doorbell, hoping someone could hear me.

[T'smom]

Normally no. But if my child is playing in the backyard with your child, I might. It wouldn't surprise me to see a neighbor there under those circumstances (their kids playing with mine in my backyard). I have also gone into neighbor's yards to retrieve stray balls/frisbees.

[Mandylubug]

I have marched over to a neighbors house recently but I always go to the front door and ring the door bell even if my kids are outside with theirs or they are out back... Its just being courteous in my opinion!

[Mommyof4ks]

I have not done that, but other people have walked into my back hard when their kids were back there. We are kind of open house people though, and it does not bother me. Her child was back there, so it was not like she just walked back there just to hang out alone. Maybe sit out back with the kids in the future, so it is not so odd for her to just come back there if you are there rather than in your house?

[Reflections]

I've done it but only under duress - as in: my wayward dog/cat ran into the yard and you weren't home to ask for permission - that sort of thing. Even here where there are no fences and large yards, I try hard to respect boundaries. If you were home, I would not just stand on your deck without first letting you know that I was there. ETA: but if my kid was back there and you didn't answer the door, then yes, I would go into your backyard to get to my kid without seeking permission.

[UmMusa]

double post

[UmMusa]

Maybe sit out back with the kids in the future, so it is not so odd for her to just come back there if you are there rather than in your house?

That's what I was doing, and I about jumped out of my skin when I saw an adult standing next to me without so much as calling out a 'hello' or 'anyone here'...

[mytwomonkeys]

If I had been to your home on several occasions (and it sounds like this is the case) & my child was in your backyard playing - then yes, i may walk back unannounced if i heard them playing outside. it wouldn't cross my mind that this would offend you. i don't think this particular situation sounds weird or rude. otherwise, no, i would never go into a neighbor's yard unannounced unless there was a very good reason (like once we found the neighbor's dog & we knew this puppy was not allowed to be running loose. we returned it to the backyard & left a note on the front door).

[2_girls_mommy]

I do to get my kids. I wouldn't bother the parent more than likely. I would just go back and tell my kids it is time to go home unless I had specifically talked to the parent about watching mine. Then I might let them know I was taking them home. But if it was a non planned, kids getting together on a Sun. afternoon, I would yell over the fence or step back to get them. I wouldn't worry about the parent getting their kids either unless it was someone that made me uncomfortable, but that hasn't been an issue. If it was I would be limiting the time our kids were together anyway or I would be staying with them in case the scary parent came over..

[8circles]

I see no problem joining my child in a neighbor's backyard.

 

As someone who doesn't enjoy being a hostess, I prefer not to have company whenever possible - so I wouldn't "like" it either if I were you. But I don't think the parent overstepped any boundaries or did anything at all strange or rude.

[sbgrace]

Well, I don't go into people's back yards but the parent's child playing there already completely changes things for me. I would assume I could access my children. The kids come here and I wouldn't blink twice if a parent came to check on them, talk to their child, whatever.

[QueenCat]

That's what I was doing, and I about jumped out of my skin when I saw an adult standing next to me without so much as calling out a 'hello' or 'anyone here'...

 

I'd have called out "hello" but if my kids are there than I don't need an invitation to come on back there.

[Kathryn]

If my child was in your yard, yes. Otherwise, no.

[Susan in TN]

In the yard with my child, yes, but not on a deck, porch, or patio without first letting you know I was there.

[Hypatia.]

No, it's not something I would usually do. I've gone into the neighbor's yard behind us (separated by a tall fence) when they weren't home before, one of our chickens had managed to find her way over the fence. I had been in their yard with permission to get our indoor cat who escaped on a previous occasion, and I thought they would rather me run back there and get the chicken than have the hen tear up their flowerbeds.

[J-rap]

I see nothing strange about that since her child was playing in your yard.

 

Also, we live in a very old home (built before there were cars) where the garage is separate, in back, alongside an alley. Sometimes people (especially service people) park in the alley and come through the backyard to the back door.

[Ellie]

An unfenced back yard? Then, no, I wouldn't be surprised, especially if her children were already there.

 

A fenced back yard? Yes, I'd be surprised and sort of annoyed.

 

But in communities where unfenced yards are the norm, I would expect people to come on over. :-)

[Truscifi]

Well, I've gone into my neighbors' yards to chase wayward piglets. I thought they would prefer that I not give the pigs the extra time it would take me to walk up to the house and knock to ask permission, seeing how much damage they can do in such a short time.

 

ETA - If my child is there, I assume I have permission to come in the yard as well. I would probably call hello or something though.

[Laura Corin]

I'm pretty relaxed about visitors compared to some - I'm happy for people to come and knock without calling first, for example. I wouldn't expect someone to go round the back of the house unless they couldn't raise me or their child at the front.

 

Laura

[Luanne]

Even if my child was in someone's backyard, I wouldn't just go in there. If your child was in someone's house playing, would you just walk through the front door and into the house? It is in very poor taste in either case. You get the attention of the parent at home some way first. It is just polite.

[joannqn]

It depends on my relationship with the neighbors. I have had and currently have neighbor situations where entering the backyard was/is completely acceptable.

[Orthodox6]

I'm trying to envision your deck. When we had one, it was accessible only from within the house (exit from the kitchen), or by ascending the stairs (outside, in the backyard). I would have been startled (unhappily so) to find people on my deck! Neighbors in our unfenced backyard, however, in search of their own child, never was a problem. Children from next door played together with our children in whichever yard was the most appealing on a given day. I liked the informality and ease of socialization.

[Bensmom]

I was about to say, "no" but now that I think about it, I walk into my neighbors yard all the time. (They walk through my yard too and I don't mind.) I would never sit on someone's deck though and am very careful to not look into their houses as I pass.

I used to have an open door most of the time too and people would just drop in and call up the stairs for me, but our town has had many walk-in daytime thefts and sadly I now lock my door.

[OrganicAnn]

In general no. There may be some scenarios that I would - to retrieve a child, a pet or in case of an emergency. I would more likely do it if I knew the people. It would also matter how the houses were set up (suburban or not).

 

Where we currently live it doesn't come up.