Disgusted.. it took until 2013 for a non-segregated prom

[AnIslandGirl]

Oh my goodness, I can't even wrap my head around the fact that this was OK and allowed to go on until this year. In Wilcox County, Georgia they had a white and black prom... still last year. :mad: This is the first year they are attempting a prom that mixes racial backgrounds.

"Segregated prom tradition yields to unity" by CNN

http://www.cnn.com/2...prom/index.html

 

Granted it was parent sponsored and not an official school event, but really?!? I can't believe that an entire community would support this in today's day and age. It truly makes me ill.

[Ravin]

Good for those girls who organized it, and all the people who supported them! It made for an uplifting story, that's for sure.

 

It is sad that it took so long--people just get stuck in a habit and way of doing things, and change is controversial.

[albeto]

I can't believe that an entire community would support this in today's day and age. It truly makes me ill.

 

 

I can. It makes me fuming mad, too.

[LucyStoner]

That is insane. Totally looney toon bananas crazy.

[Annie G]

Dh was in junior high in south Georgia when the county's schools became integrated. There weren't any big problems during that time- it was just like Ravin said- people got stuck in a habit of doing things a certain way.

Are there lots of small towns where the school doesn't sponsor the prom? Seems like this town's school board could have ended this 'tradition' a long time ago by sponsoring a prom. I read about this town a couple of years ago and at the time, neither group wanted to give up their prom for a joint one- they had each developed their own traditions and didn't want to yield. Seems crazy not to have a joint prom!

 

Here in our little town in northern Illinois, the local high school alumni has a black reunion every year. I always think that's a little weird.

[fairfarmhand]

that IS ridiculous!

[MomtoCandJ]

Ben hill county in GA still has two proms. One is school sponsored the other is not. Ben Hill county is not far from Wilcox County.

[Lady Florida.]

can't even wrap my head around the fact that this was OK and allowed to go on until this year.

 

I read a few weeks ago about the kids trying to get an integrated prom, and my brain would not process that segregated proms were still happening.

[PrairieSong]

That is insane! So what if one of your parents is black and the other white? Which prom are you "supposed" to attend? What if you are Asian or Hispanic or a mixture of any number of ethnic backgrounds?? So so bizarre.

[Lisbeth]

Is it mutually decided? Did the two groups just decide they wanted different things? Who made the decision?

[HRAAB]

I read a few weeks ago about the kids trying to get an integrated prom, and my brain would not process that segregated proms were still happening.

 

 

Exactly. I can't process it. If I had not seen this, I would not have believed it.

[Joker]

I read that there was a group that still held a whites only prom and didn't attend this one. I have no words...

[Parrothead]

What you have to remember is this it not just a whit supremacy type thing. Both black and white adults wanted to keep the status quo.

[Mom-ninja.]

What you have to remember is this it not just a whit supremacy type thing. Both black and white adults wanted to keep the status quo.

 

 

Does it say that somewhere? Did the black and white people jointly agree to segregated proms?

[beaners]

 

Does it say that somewhere? Did the black and white people jointly agree to segregated proms?

 

I've read other articles or interviews that said the same thing. I don't know if it's genuinely the way everyone feels or if it's a "you don't want me, so I don't want to go there" type of thing.

[Truscifi]

My understanding from various articles about it is the school stopped sponsoring prom several years ago specifically to avoid having to integrate it, at the urging of some of the parents. I don't know if it was only the white parents.

 

ETA - My mistake - apparently they never started a school sponsored prom. They always had it be parent sponsored so that they wouldn't have to allow it to be integrated.

[LucyStoner]

What you have to remember is this it not just a whit supremacy type thing. Both black and white adults wanted to keep the status quo.

 

Given that white students were barred from attending white prom (gah did I really just have cause to type "white prom"?!) with black students as dates LAST YEAR, I still say if it walks like a duck...

[Lisbeth]

The reason I am questioning whether this is "oppresion" or just preference is that I could see all sorts of flavors of prom emerging...country music prom, modest prom, etc, based more on cultural preferences and less on skin color.

[albeto]

The reason I am questioning whether this is "oppresion" or just preference is that I could see all sorts of flavors of prom emerging...country music prom, modest prom, etc, based more on cultural preferences and less on skin color.

 

 

That just happens to not allow a person of a certain race into the door?

[Slipper]

 

 

 

Right. The minorities actually like being oppressed by the majority. Its what they prefer.

 

Also, slaves liked being owned.

 

/sarcasm

 

 

I think the point that Parrothead might have been trying to make is that there are hard feelings on BOTH sides of the fence.

[Lisbeth]

 

 

That just happens to not allow a person of a certain race into the door?

 

Hmmm, well, are we sure about that? That sounds like lawsuit fodder if true. I have seen kids in diverse schools segregate themselves in the lunchroom, just naturally. I do not support ugly racist practices AT ALL, but our culture has gone a little loony tunes seeing racism behind everything. So I like to step back and see what the story might really be.

[*lifeoftheparty*]

I went to middle/high school in North Georgia (graduated in 1999) and this doesn't surprise me at all. One if the reasons why I left the second I could and hate going back to visit.

 

I saw a black guy get attacked just for dating a white girl. I was told I was a whore and going to hell by numerous people, just for dating a black guy. I actually had friends who weren't allowed to hang out with me b/c if it. I would never ever raise my child there, or anywhere like it. BLECH!

[albeto]

Hmmm, well, are we sure about that? That sounds like lawsuit fodder if true. I have seen kids in diverse schools segregate themselves in the lunchroom, just naturally. I do not support ugly racist practices AT ALL, but our culture has gone a little loony tunes seeing racism behind everything. So I like to step back and see what the story might really be.

 

 

From the article linked in the OP:

 

Besides, she's black and wasn't invited to this prom reserved for white students anyway.

 

Mareshia and her friends bucked 40 years of local customs this month by organizing their own integrated prom, a formal dance open to Wilcox County's white, black, Latino and Asian high school students. Organizers, both black and white, said they lost friends in the process

 

They weren't the first ones to float the idea of an integrated prom, she said, so she posed the question to the white students.

"I was told that I should just bring someone else," Ashley says. "Bring someone who is white."

 

Ashley cried in her mom's arms. It stressed her relationship with Antonio. So many things were changing; they couldn't stomach a fight with 40-year-old prom rituals, or the people who kept them going.

 

By this time next year, prom in Wilcox County could be entirely different. The high school's leadership will consider hosting a prom in 2014, Superintendent Steve Smith says. It might not eliminate private, segregated proms, but if it happens, it could promise a dance open to everybody.

 

"Maybe the timing was just right," Smith says. "I'm proud of 'em. It's a shame, I guess, that it takes four teenage girls to open our eyes."

[Mom-ninja.]

The reason I am questioning whether this is "oppresion" or just preference is that I could see all sorts of flavors of prom emerging...country music prom, modest prom, etc, based more on cultural preferences and less on skin color.

 

Okay, I'll say it. This is nothing but a lame excuse to try and validate ongoing racism. Seriously lame. I mean really? This reasoning basically says that one skin color group of people like country music and the other skin color group likes hip hop or rap. I'm assuming you are implying that white people like country music. What if a black person likes country music and wants to go to the prom that plays country. Nope. Banned. Barred. Can't go. Also, do you know how many white people listen to rap and hip hop?

 

And please, please explain what you mean by wanting a "modest" prom? So, pray tell, whose prom would be modest? The whites or blacks?

 

My brother married a black woman. My niece just attended her prom. She was raised in a white family and a black family. So, tell me cause I'm confused, which "culture" does she belong to?

 

I will not say more because blatant racism is despicable and there are NO excuses for it at all. At all. AT ALL!

 

How dare ANYONE say that my niece is banned from attending a social function and then say it's because she might not like the music or might not adhere to the modesty code.

 

I call it like it is. Racism.

[Slipper]

I know some religious groups host a modest prom for their specific religion. As far as I know, they are allowed to invite whomever they please. (A friend of mine's daughter attended a prom that specified modesty for their religion - "modest is hottest" - the other girls were wearing modest clothing. My friend's daughter wore a short, strapless dress. Nobody made her feel uncomfortable (she didn't think about the fact that the other girls wouldn't wear similar).

 

I think the distinguishing factor is whether or not EVERYONE is allowed to attend prom.

[ChocolateReignRemix]

Hmmm, well, are we sure about that? That sounds like lawsuit fodder if true. I have seen kids in diverse schools segregate themselves in the lunchroom, just naturally. I do not support ugly racist practices AT ALL, but our culture has gone a little loony tunes seeing racism behind everything. So I like to step back and see what the story might really be.

 

 

In general, when something is "whites only", the accusation of racism is going to be valid. If the whites only event started during integration, then making the case it is really what everyone wanted is nonsense.

[stripe]

Well, luckily, as a mixed family, we don't have that "problem." Sigh.

[Tess in the Burbs]

If you haven't grown up in the south you probably don't really grasp how racial issues still are very much prevalent today. The parents of our generation were alive when things were segregated. And many have strong opinions that just aren't acceptable to my generation or younger. I think it will be another 50-70 years before a lot of those people are passed on and no passing their vile opinions onto younger generations. I am still shocked what older people say sometimes about other races. It's awful. And older generations still work in those school systems, so you still have segregation and situations like that one. I truly believe another 50+ years will be needed to get to a better place in regards to the south and racial opinions/issues being much less than it still is.

 

To give you an idea....my dad and most of my friend's dads wouldn't let us talk to anyone of another race in high school. I could have my friends over but not one due to her coloring. It's interesting b/c once I was good friends with a guy who was black(I am white). Someone commented they didn't know I dated black boys. We were friends, but the point was....it never occurred to ME he was black. He was just Will. My friend. But anytime I dated someone the first question my dad would ask is what race? I hear comments from grandparents and parents of my generation still saying things that are just wrong. Nothing changed their opinions.

 

And honestly, it's all sides that have opinions of the other sides. If generations keep telling their lies/falsehoods to the kids/grandkids....some will take that on as their opinions too. It's sad.

 

So I am not shocked. It's wrong. But not shocked. I grew up in the south and so many things are still not right in the south. There are very real and violent groups in the south promoting hatred to this day.

[Ellie]

Dh was in junior high in south Georgia when the county's schools became integrated. There weren't any big problems during that time- it was just like Ravin said- people got stuck in a habit of doing things a certain way.

Are there lots of small towns where the school doesn't sponsor the prom? Seems like this town's school board could have ended this 'tradition' a long time ago by sponsoring a prom. I read about this town a couple of years ago and at the time, neither group wanted to give up their prom for a joint one- they had each developed their own traditions and didn't want to yield. Seems crazy not to have a joint prom!

 

Here in our little town in northern Illinois, the local high school alumni has a black reunion every year. I always think that's a little weird.

 

 

Ok, well, then, it seems like their choice, not necessarily because of racial bigotry (even though it started that way). If they like it this way, if they each have their own meaningful traditions, if they have the right to make a different choice and do not, well, it's their choice, right?

[MtnTeaching]

I can sympathize with "Dot" and "tess in the burbs". My experience of growing up in the Deep South is a bit surreal now that I have lived 20 years in other parts of the nation. (I grew up about 2 hours south of Wilcox County.) I was raised by my grandparents and went to school in the 70's (graduated in 1980). My middle school was the African American high school before integration. My grandfather drove me to school with a loaded .38 on the seat between us. This was not because he was racist (although my Grandmother could have held that distinction quite well). He had been a railroad man for 50 years and some of his closest and most loyal friends were African American. This was because the African American community did not want us in their high school or their neighborhood, pure and simple. Old traditions, even if they are not "right" do not die easily.

 

My middle school years were spent walking down the hall with groups of other white girls. I was not allowed to go to the bathroom by myself because it was not safe. The buses would be attacked as they drove onto the campus with rocks and chains thrown through the windows. One of the buildings where we had classes was across the street from the main campus and even though there was a massive chain-link fence surrounding it, white kids would be attacked and robbed as they walked (or rather sprinted) to class. Bomb threats were a common occurrence and I remember standing outside in winter in PE shorts several times in one week because of bomb-threats.

 

High school was a bit better, but not much. The African American children were bused to the "white" high school in the middle of the affluent white side of town. Fights were a common occurrence there, but things definitely became a bit calmer. The school voted a mixed-race, absolutely beautiful (inside and out) girl as our homeschool queen and worked together to have an integrated prom (although there were other private dances as well). There was still some tension, but maybe we were growing out of the racism. Our 10 year reunion was an absolute blast with three days of family picnics, parties, and a dance.

 

I agree that it is going to take time. The South moves at a slower pace on just about everything.

 

I am still confused though as to why the school did not sponsor the prom itself before this.

[NotSoObvious]

 

 

Ok, well, then, it seems like their choice, not necessarily because of racial bigotry (even though it started that way). If they like it this way, if they each have their own meaningful traditions, if they have the right to make a different choice and do not, well, it's their choice, right?

 

It's the *exclusion* of others based on race that is the issue.

[MtnTeaching]

Ok, well, then, it seems like their choice, not necessarily because of racial bigotry (even though it started that way). If they like it this way, if they each have their own meaningful traditions, if they have the right to make a different choice and do not, well, it's their choice, right?

 

I really think I agree to a certain point. This is the United States and people should be free to make the choice to sponsor a private dance with their own traditions. The part that is difficult to perceive is that people were banned from asking dates or even attending because of the color of their skin. That is difficult to understand in this day and age.

 

What I really have a problem with was the school for not sponsoring a prom for the student body as a whole.

[Ellie]

It's the *exclusion* of others based on race that is the issue.

 

 

Were people of other races truly excluded? I mean, I know that back in the day they were, but since then both groups have developed their traditions and whatnot, so at this date, were those of other races truly excluded? Or were they making their own choices to attend their own traditions?

 

I don't know. I'm just asking the question.

[Parrothead]

I can sympathize with "Dot" and "tess in the burbs". My experience of growing up in the Deep South is a bit surreal now that I have lived 20 years in other parts of the nation. (I grew up about 2 hours south of Wilcox County.) I was raised by my grandparents and went to school in the 70's (graduated in 1980). My middle school was the African American high school before integration. My grandfather drove me to school with a loaded .38 on the seat between us. This was not because he was racist (although my Grandmother could have held that distinction quite well). He had been a railroad man for 50 years and some of his closest and most loyal friends were African American. This was because the African American community did not want us in their high school or their neighborhood, pure and simple. Old traditions, even if they are not "right" do not die easily.

 

My middle school years were spent walking down the hall with groups of other white girls. I was not allowed to go to the bathroom by myself because it was not safe. The buses would be attacked as they drove onto the campus with rocks and chains thrown through the windows. One of the buildings where we had classes was across the street from the main campus and even though there was a massive chain-link fence surrounding it, white kids would be attacked and robbed as they walked (or rather sprinted) to class. Bomb threats were a common occurrence and I remember standing outside in winter in PE shorts several times in one week because of bomb-threats.

 

High school was a bit better, but not much. The African American children were bused to the "white" high school in the middle of the affluent white side of town. Fights were a common occurrence there, but things definitely became a bit calmer. The school voted a mixed-race, absolutely beautiful (inside and out) girl as our homeschool queen and worked together to have an integrated prom (although there were other private dances as well). There was still some tension, but maybe we were growing out of the racism. Our 10 year reunion was an absolute blast with three days of family picnics, parties, and a dance.

 

I agree that it is going to take time. The South moves at a slower pace on just about everything.

 

I am still confused though as to why the school did not sponsor the prom itself before this.

 

 

It wasn't much better in rural southwest GA when I lived and worked there in the 90s. We like to think that racism is only a white person thing. But truly it isn't. Black people can be racist. Hispanic people can be racist. I could tell stories from my time in law enforcement.

 

Reading the above linked article was both shocking and good to read. Interracial couples were unheard of. In some parts it is still looked down upon. My parents who moved to the area 15 years ago, lost all their friends when they befriended a mixed race couple who moved in down the road.

 

And it is true. Unless you've lived in one of these pockets of the deep south, it is really hard to fathom that attitudes like this exist on both sides in this day and age. These things weren't limited to school events like the prom. Whites and blacks each have their own churches and bars. Funny how it's those two establishments.

 

 

I'm sure the school didn't sponsor a prom for the same reasons at the school in the article.

[Parrothead]

 

Were people of other races truly excluded? I mean, I know that back in the day they were, but since then both groups have developed their traditions and whatnot, so at this date, were those of other races truly excluded? Or were they making their own choices to attend their own traditions?

 

I don't know. I'm just asking the question.

 

 

From the article it did sound as if the opposite races were excluded from each other's event.

[Kathryn]

 

 

Were people of other races truly excluded? I mean, I know that back in the day they were, but since then both groups have developed their traditions and whatnot, so at this date, were those of other races truly excluded? Or were they making their own choices to attend their own traditions?

 

I don't know. I'm just asking the question.

 

 

If you read the whole article, they profile an interracial couple, now married, who graduated last year. White woman wanted to bring her black boyfriend to the white prom and was told no. They had been together for four years. She was told to find a white guy to bring.

[Lady Florida.]

I went to middle/high school in North Georgia (graduated in 1999) and this doesn't surprise me at all. One if the reasons why I left the second I could and hate going back to visit.

 

If you haven't grown up in the south you probably don't really grasp how racial issues still are very much prevalent today.

 

My family moved from NJ to Florida when I was 13. After college, my first teaching job was in south Georgia (Americus/Ellaville for those familiar with the area). I thought I was living in the south when I lived in Florida, but I actually moved further "south" by moving north to Georgia. I was floored by the blatant, open racism.

 

When I was looking for an apartment, the realtor actually said, "This one's integrated, this one's integrated, that one's not. Although, teachers are more likely to not mind integration than the average person." When I went to buy a car, an older black man came in the office to make a car payment while I was there. The people who worked there said hateful things about him (specifically about race) purposely loud enough for him to hear. This was in 1977, so it wasn't *that* many years from the civil rights movement. I didn't think of it that way at the time, but only realized it in later years.

 

Now however, it's 2013, 36 years after I first lived there, almost 50 years after Freedom Summer, and things still haven't changed?

 

BTW, I walked out of the car dealership. My mom and brother found me a car here in Florida, and I rented a car to come down here and pick it up.

[LucyStoner]

 

 

Were people of other races truly excluded? I mean, I know that back in the day they were, but since then both groups have developed their traditions and whatnot, so at this date, were those of other races truly excluded? Or were they making their own choices to attend their own traditions?

 

I don't know. I'm just asking the question.

 

 

The article highlights a graduated white female student who was told to "bring someone else" besides her (black) boyfriend of 3+ years. That's exclusion. Plain and simple. This was not 25 years ago either- it was 2012. The couple is now married and living in San Diego where he is stationed in the Navy (they met in JROTC). Being told to find another, white, date is pretty awful. Understandably, she choose to miss prom.

[LucyStoner]

Nevermind.

[LucyStoner]

The reason I am questioning whether this is "oppresion" or just preference is that I could see all sorts of flavors of prom emerging...country music prom, modest prom, etc, based more on cultural preferences and less on skin color.

 

Because the more we isolate ourselves from one another based on cultural markers and superficial things like music preferences, the better off we are. Of course not.

 

I'm imagining my own hypothetical cultural prom- I suppose riot grrl punk nerdy intellectuals (though I loved all kinds of music). Woohoo, they are playing a lot of Kathleen Hana, Joan Jett, and The Gits. And look, there's a sign up for the poetry slam later which will determine who is prom queen. But wait, where are all my friends? Where's my preppy jock boyfriend? Why is it just a motley assortment of tough white chicks here?

 

I am glad to have danced many nights away to all kinds of music, with all kinds of people.

[Freckles]

By no means do I support a segregated prom, but I'm never surprised when people of similar culture and or race want to be together for events and activities. I've lived all over the world, and I've seen it again and again. For the most part, I would say that racism is alive and well in all races whether we want to acknowledge it or not. As a Christian I'm reminded of the story of the Tower of Babyl. The people had all the same language/culture. They thought themselves more powerful than God. God confused their language and dispersed them across the Earth. Different cultures have existed for ages, and I don't see it changing. I only add that to say for me, I'm not surprised when people fight against the thought of Global community. Sorry, I'm rambling. I believe there should be open prom for anyone who wants to attend, but I'm not surprised when others don't.

[LucyStoner]

Freckles, culture is far broader than what any one person personally thinks and prefers. To keep it light I will focus on music culture. My music culture is as much Green Day, Ben Harper, Michael W freaking Smith, Magnetic Fields, Chuck D, Sir Mix a Lot, Johnny Cash, the Beatles, Brittany Spears, Indigo Girls, Big Band and German Opera as it is riot grrl punk. My culture includes songs and styles of music I don't even like (Raggae and metal, I'm looking at you!)

 

We don't do ourselves any favors when we shrink down to pure conformity within the narrow bounds of any one sub culture. I don't know the first thing about being an mc and free-styling out rhymes. But my life was made richer by my mc friend who tried to teach me, as it was by my early music harpist friend. Yes, we all have culture and should celebrate it but I wanna be in a BIG honking culture box and not only with people exactly like me. I can get pretty boring after all.

[Mrs Mungo]

I agree with the OP's sentiment that it is disgusting that it took so long for the community to come together enough to host a racially diverse prom.

[NotSoObvious]

By no means do I support a segregated prom, but I'm never surprised when people of similar culture and or race want to be together for events and activities. I've lived all over the world, and I've seen it again and again. For the most part, I would say that racism is alive and well in all races whether we want to acknowledge it or not. As a Christian I'm reminded of the story of the Tower of Babyl. The people had all the same language/culture. They thought themselves more powerful than God. God confused their language and dispersed them across the Earth. Different cultures have existed for ages, and I don't see it changing. I only add that to say for me, I'm not surprised when people fight against the thought of Global community. Sorry, I'm rambling. I believe there should be open prom for anyone who wants to attend, but I'm not surprised when others don't.

 

Different cultures should be celebrated. The point here is that exclusion isn't ok.

[Mrs Mungo]

By no means do I support a segregated prom, but I'm never surprised when people of similar culture and or race want to be together for events and activities.

 

Race and culture are NOT the same thing. Am I surprised that my town hosts a Greek festival? No. Everyone is encouraged to come, eat, learn and share in the culture. THAT is what cultural events tend to look like. Anything based on race pretending to be about culture is a lie, IMO.

[Freckles]

Nobody has to agree with me. These were just some of my thoughts from my experiences and personal definitions. I never said it wasn't good for all types of people to be around each other. I was only stating that I understood when people who are alike and comfortable around each other want to break off into groups.

[Freckles]

Different cultures should be celebrated. The point here is that exclusion isn't ok.

 

 

I never said it was. I said I wasn't surprised when it happens.

[albeto]

Nobody has to agree with me. These were just some of my thoughts from my experiences and personal definitions. I never said it wasn't good for all types of people to be around each other. I was only stating that I understood when people who are alike and comfortable around each other want to break off into groups.

 

 

I think most of us can understand why people are racist. The point is, it's lamentable in this day and age to find entire communities support overt racist behavior. It doesn't surprise me, it doesn't confuse me, it does depress me. Then again, seeing the courage of these teens do something about it cheers me right up.

 

:)