Ottakee Posted April 20, 2013 Share Posted April 20, 2013 Even after 100+ foster kids we had something new today. I had to take dfs so a viewing/visitation/very brief service for his bio mom. Then we had to go with police presence to their home and gather up all of their stuff. In just over 48 hours this boy lost is mom and now his home and belongings/friends/school. We have him while his bio sisters 16, and 10 are in a foster home about 25 minutes away. These are the things you are not prepared for. My heart just aches for these kids and their future is unknown. Even though their life was not what most of us would call "normal" it was his life and what he knew and loved. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted April 20, 2013 Share Posted April 20, 2013 Praying for them :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted April 20, 2013 Share Posted April 20, 2013 That poor boy. Poor sisters. Thank you ottakee, for taking such good care of him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lynn Posted April 20, 2013 Share Posted April 20, 2013 I have no words just :grouphug: and prayers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
indigomama Posted April 20, 2013 Share Posted April 20, 2013 Praying for him. Thank you for traveling this new road with him, may it lead to new blessings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted April 20, 2013 Share Posted April 20, 2013 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted April 20, 2013 Share Posted April 20, 2013 Poor kiddo. He has a rough road ahead. When my best friend/mentor died while I was in college, I became custodian to her son. He was 14. We grieved together. At the time, he was adamant that he did not want mementos of his Mom, but I saved them for later. I hope that perhaps your dfs found something (or you did) that you can help him preserve for the future. Even just to give to his social worker to hold on to for him, when he moves on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiramisu Posted April 20, 2013 Share Posted April 20, 2013 :grouphug: So sad. I'm thankful he has you to help him through it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted April 20, 2013 Share Posted April 20, 2013 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted April 20, 2013 Author Share Posted April 20, 2013 He is now busy putting stuff away in his "new" room. It isn't fancy but he didn't even have a bed before so this is a step up. He came with cothes ranging from kids size 14 to men's 2XL---with a few in between that actually fit. Shoes ranging from 8-11 so I need to see which ones really fit. At least he got some pictures from home and got one off facebook of mom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted April 20, 2013 Share Posted April 20, 2013 That has to be so hard to watch (let alone go through)! I'm so glad he has you to look after him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Koerarmoca Posted April 20, 2013 Share Posted April 20, 2013 :( so sad I'm hoping his time with you wonderful. My prayers to him as he processes this Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted April 20, 2013 Share Posted April 20, 2013 My heart just aches for him. Glad to hear he got some pictures from home, and a pic of his mom from facebook. Hugs to you all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted April 21, 2013 Share Posted April 21, 2013 I: hope that you can provide him with much needed stability and the necessities that he hasn't had. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dandelion Posted April 21, 2013 Share Posted April 21, 2013 Those poor kids. :( You are a wonderful person for opening up your home and your heart to this boy. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StaceyinLA Posted April 21, 2013 Share Posted April 21, 2013 This is so sad. I just have to ask though, why isn't he with his sisters? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted April 21, 2013 Author Share Posted April 21, 2013 He isn't with his sisters as they couldn't find a home that could take all 3. We can only take a boy long term with our house set up and needs of our kids. The other home could only take the girls. They called about 50 homes in 2 counties but foster homes that can take 3 kids ages 10,11, and 16 (who is diabetic) are almost impossible to find. There were some other considerations that leaned towards putting the kids in 2 different homes. As hard as it is to understand from the "outside" for some of these kids, it is the best thing for them each to have a foster family of their own or in smaller sib groups. Sometimes keeping the kids together makes it much harder to overcome the dsyfunctional family dynamics. He has daily phone and facebook contact with them and will likely have weekly in person visits with them. Once they figure out more details of the case they may reunite the kids if that is in their best interest. He told the crisis worker today that he loves it at our house. That might change over time when the honeymoon period is over and reality and rules all set in but I am glad he is feeling more comfortable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sisyphus Posted April 21, 2013 Share Posted April 21, 2013 Poor sweetie, that just hurts my heart. Give him a hug from me, and God bless you for what you do! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Rain Posted April 21, 2013 Share Posted April 21, 2013 Poor kid. At least he has a caring adult to help him through this. Thanks for being there for him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Isabella Posted April 21, 2013 Share Posted April 21, 2013 Thank you for the sacrifices you surely make to give this boy (and all the others you've had) a safe and secure home for the time you have them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted April 21, 2013 Share Posted April 21, 2013 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ravin Posted April 21, 2013 Share Posted April 21, 2013 That is rough! I had one foster sister whose mom was dealing with cancer(but didn't die while she was with my mom), and another whose dad was killed (run down on his motorcycle by a crazy ex) not long after she aged out, landing her with custody of her younger siblings (on top of having her own baby already). My mom and sister J were able to provide her with emotional support. Grief is not an easy thing no matter how a child loses a parent. Glad you're there for him! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted April 21, 2013 Share Posted April 21, 2013 That's just so sad. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted April 21, 2013 Share Posted April 21, 2013 Thank you for your loving and informed care of these kids, and the karmic influence your home makes as they grow and move through the system. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted April 22, 2013 Author Share Posted April 22, 2013 Thanks for all of the prayers. He had a good day today. We went to church and then ate lunch. Then my dh took him, ds, one dd and an extra boy (my husband is like a big brother too) to the YMCA where they played basketball and swam for hours. Then tonight he helped me with the horses and even got to ride my horse around the arena while I led him---first time for that. He is excited as tomorrow we get to scoop poop since he doesn't start school until Tuesday. I am sure he will have his struggles as the newness and excitement of all the new things here will wear off and the reality that his life will never be the same will sink in. I am sure he will start counseling before too long as well. I also hope to get him into a special horseback riding therapy program or another activity he would enjoy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted April 22, 2013 Share Posted April 22, 2013 I'm glad that he's having a good time now. Even if he hits struggles soon, no one can take away these days of peace from him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChocolateReignRemix Posted April 22, 2013 Share Posted April 22, 2013 I sit here with tears in my eyes after reading your post as I think of the wonderful foster parents who cared for my two adopted nephews the year before they came into our family. Thank you for all you have done for the kids you have cared for over the years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacia Posted April 22, 2013 Share Posted April 22, 2013 Wow. Heartbreaking for those children. So glad you are lending yourself & your family during his times of trouble. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted April 22, 2013 Share Posted April 22, 2013 :crying: Poor kids. Thank you for opening your home to this child. I cannot imagine. Sending you strength. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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