What makes for a high quality of life for you?

[Sun]

The thread on cost of living got me wondering about how differently people define quality of life. I place a high premium on a short commute for DH, easy access to parks, close to wilderness areas for hiking, friendly neighbors, pedestrian-friendly neighborhoods, safe neighborhood, good restaurants, and having family nearby (not necessarily in that order!). I also appreciate having friends and neighbors who share my values for the most part. Where I live now, I have all of those except I have to drive an hour to get to good hiking areas in the wilderness. That trade-off works for me at the moment, though I'm always a bit jealous of friends who are closer to wilderness. The thing I miss the most where I live now is the sun. That has a huge impact on the quality of my life in the winter here!

 

When you talk about quality of life, what do you mean? Which things are most important to you? What do you wish you had but don't where you live now?

[justamouse]

Quality is life for us is Dad not having a heart attack from stress before he is 60.

 

I have hiking trails all over, state parks, fishing, camping, lakes everywhere, theaters, a gorgeous main street, family, a beautiful house, I'm able to stay home with the kids and center our lives...I'd just like to not have to pay so much for it.

[Melinda in VT]

Having spent the last 9 years living in Vermont, I have come to place a high premium on natural beauty. There is something very restorative about living in a beautiful place, and I don't mean beauty you can drive to, but beauty that is part of your normal daily activities.

 

It would be difficult for me to have what I consider a high quality of life in a suburb, although I think urban areas have other compensations which balance the reduction in natural beauty.

[Catwoman]

For me, the most important factor that influences our quality of life is good health. If we don't have that, nothing else matters much.

[Dandelion]

What's most important to me from a quality of life perspective:

- excellent health

- loving relationships with family and good friends

- financial stability

- meaningful work (i.e. feeling that I'm contributing in a meaningful way, not just to my immediate family but to my community/society)

- beautiful surroundings - close to nature, but also in my home

- access to recreational activities we enjoy

- a compelling vision for my personal/family's future, and a clear path towards achieving it

 

What I wish I had but don't right now (from the list above):

- I have wonderful girlfriends and DH has good guy friends, but I wish we had some good *couple friends* or other families to hang out with

- I truly miss my career - I'm volunteering with two non-profits right now to try to fill that gap, but it's not filling that void for me

- My vision for the future is a bit too fuzzy for my comfort level right now. Between leaving my career and my son's subsequent ASD diagnosis and struggles, I no longer have the clear vision I once had. I'm someone who likes things settled, so the last four years have been very uncomfortable for me in this regard.

 

But overall, our quality of life is good and compared to others, I feel very fortunate.

[Mommyfaithe]

I think health and stress reduction are priority. Family close to me....a GOOD gym with encouraging people....and a garden. Give me access to some good books and healthy food to cook and I am set.

[T'smom]

It's interesting that you mentioned sun. When I lived further south, I was NOT an outdoor person. Now that I live much farther north......sun is soooo important! Now I am outside every chance I get. (When the weather is above freezing anyway) a few years ago I would have told you that camping was not my thing. Now we spend most of the summer camping. I am convinced that it's because of the amount of sun I just got through daily life before. I got enough sun walking to and from the car that nothing else was needed!

[lavender's green]

Good health

Good relationships (this one is huge!)

A low-stress environment (I did not have this growing up, and now I know that it's crucial for my quality of life)

Beauty (I especially enjoy natural beauty)

Good food and opportunities for exercise

Some level of control over my environment and future

Sunshine!

Stable finances

A clean-ish house

Hobbies and books, and a creative outlet

People like me. Not so like me that everything is boring, but people I can find common ground with. For example, I've lived in areas where the majority of people didn't respect housewives, but where I am now it's very acceptable and normal. It makes a huge difference.

 

I have all of these things in my average day-to-day life, although some areas could use improvement. There have been times in the past where I had almost none of these things, and I was a complete wreck. The upside of those times is that I now know what's important to me, and I carefully cultivate the things on this list, to the extent that I'm able.

[Elinor Everywhere]

My list for quality of life is:

 

1) Health

2) Good family relations

3) Enough money to not be stressed out

4) Urban area with lots of museums, restaurants, etc

5) Connecting in a spiritual environment

6) Feeling needed

7) Hobbies that take us away from our "every day" life

 

For me, here's how it's played out so far:

 

1) Health is good so far. Praying and hoping and trying to live a lifestyle to keep it that way, but I know things are not in my complete control

2) Several family members have retired and moved to my (warm and sunny) location, & it's great. I've always had a great relationship with my family, and I love having them live nearby.

3) We are fortunate to not have money stresses, which is a mental relief (I've been on the other side when I was young and single)

4) I live in the 5th largest city in the country, so we have plenty of cultural things, and although I live close to downtown, I'm still in suburbia, which I don't like. I want to downsize and move downtown when the kids are gone.

5) Finally got this one figured out, after 22 years!!

6) Working on this. Very sad that my homeschooling days are about over (5 more weeks), and am volunteering but it's not the same as having my career before I stayed home to school the kids. I hate not homeschooling, but my time is done.

7) We race sailboats, travel a lot, ride a motorcycle, kayak, bike ride, hike, and do lots of outdoor things that are completely removed from our daily lives. For my dh (in offices or planes mostly), this has been really important to his mental health.

[Lisbeth]

A good community/neighborhood...high education level very low crime, good resources. No overcrowding, including in my house. Low financial stress. Not having to sit for hrs in flourescense. Lots of privacy. Books, good food.

 

[Isabella]

For me it is:

 

Love from my dh and kids

Freedom from pain

Freedom from high stress

The ability to see beauty wherever I am

Having energy

Financial security

Doing fulfilling work (whether paid or unpaid)

Good clean food

Active lifestyle

 

I don't think my list depends on where I live - I think it's more dependent on ME making it happen. Most of these things for me are a work in progress at the moment. We have a way to go, but we have a PLAN, and that's what's important to me.

[I.Dup.]

For me, the most important factor that influences our quality of life is good health. If we don't have that, nothing else matters much.

 

This is so very true. After my second was born I had severe back problems. It was so bad. You could have given me a castle and a flying unicorn and I wouldn't find any happiness in it because I was in pain. When I cleared that up it was like winning a million dollars!

 

I hope when I die it's quick. I do not want to suffer for years before I die.

 

Ditto.

 

Good health, having enough to pay our bills with a bit left over so we can travel or buy "extras" makes for a wonderful quality of life.

[regentrude]

health, physical and mental

a loving marriage and family

financial security

a safe living situation

meaningful work

the ability to pursue outdoor and cultural activities

friends

 

I have the above, mostly.

What I wish I had:

more culture (our location is severely lacking, compared to my home town)

being closer to real mountains and rock climbing

my family and friends being closer (they are overseas in Germany)

I am mostly content, just sometimes very homesick.

[KungFuPanda]

I think it changes as I get older. When I was growing up, I was conditioned to believe that living out in the country was the ultimate in quality of life and I DID love running around the woods until I hit my mid teens. As a young adult, I valued travel and adventure. As a parent I LOVE having different opportunities for my kids to do things and sincerely believe that it's a quality life when you can get everywhere you need to be in less than 15 minutes. I don't know that I could ever be satisfied if I knew that going for milk would be a 40 minute round trip. I like to go places, but HATE being in the car :-/. Now, at middle-age, life quality is about enjoying a vibrant marriage, having a group of real in-it-for-the-long-haul friends, and seeing my daughter get ready for college (and be able to pay for it). It also means I continue to actively learn and grow and keep making and working towards my own personal goals. In old age, I can see me coming full circle and returning to a more isolated life where I can finally learn to knit, have time for a garden, and catch up on all of the books and TV shows I missed while I was busy having a life. Of course, I DO hope to have grandchildren in close proximity :-)

[Sun]

I've been nodding along with pretty much everyone's responses. You've all mentioned things that I'd add to my list.

 

One other thing I thought of is a peaceful life. I highly value being able to stay home and take care of my family, and it's very important to us as a family to have a slow enough pace of life that we're not always rushed. I like having peaceful time at home with my family, and I would miss that horribly if we let our schedule get too full!

[Sun]

 

The ability to see beauty wherever I am

...

 

I don't think my list depends on where I live - I think it's more dependent on ME making it happen.

 

 

Lovely! That is very true, and it's good for me to think about at this point in my life.

[Mandylubug]

High Quality of Life for us is:

 

Health

PLENTY of family time but also time carved out for individual time (I'm talking maybe a shopping trip alone, etc. 3 hrs max)

working vehicles

clothes on our back and shoes on our feet

Good food on our table.

Family and friends near by

[LibraryLover]

Laughing heartily, as often as possible.

[QueenCat]

Not being stressed about money for basics.

Being relatively healthy (as in, I expect colds and such but not having major issues on a long term basis).

Easy access to activities we enjoy (museums, restaurants, music, etc).

Reasonable commute for dh.

Ease of making friends in the area.

Access to stores we like: Trader Joes, Whole Foods, good bookstores

 

This list is not prioritized....... and I'm sure I'll think of more in my sleep!

[LibraryLover]

I thought of something else. Being nice to people, talking to strangers and telling them their kids are darling, not always having to be right, not honking my horn at people who don't move their cars as soon as the light turns green, telling my favorite cashier I am enjoying her new nail polish color, frequently letting my librarians, and farmers market sellers know that appreciate their efforts and dedication. Little things. Enough bad things go wrong in life, I know I talk far too much, but I sometimes worry that there is so much negative energy out there. A few kind words makes me feel more positive, and maybe helps others similarly, and I hope that on my bad days someone might throw some good vibes my way.

 

I was recently walking around the neighborhood which will soon be my new home. I felt incredibly happy to see tomato plants growing in small front yards. The riot of flowers...in a packed urban center. Those strangers' ( for now) efforts to use and beautify such small spaces nearly melted my heart. On one street corner, in my --almost - neighborhood-- was a box with food in it, fresh and canned, with a sign that said, 'Take what you need." It wasn't empty. People took what they needed and left some for others. Simple acts are so powerful. I want to try and be even more emotionally generous, and such acts inspire me to do better. I am also very grateful that I have mellowed as I've aged. ;). I'm trying to make up for my snotty younger self. Some days are better than others. lol

[2boysmom]

safety, (walking in a park alone without fear), being close to nature somehow, I need trees and grass and sunshine, having little luxuries without worrying over the cost (ie. a simple pleasure like coffee with a friend), access to health care, freedom to make decisions based on my families needs, freedom to homeschool, access to good friends and good church, shelter that suits (having an extra bedroom for friends to stay), transportation (not fancy but it works), the ability to have a vacation every year or time off from work, access to internet and information.

[Jean in Newcastle]

For me, the most important factor that influences our quality of life is good health. If we don't have that, nothing else matters much.

 

 

I don't have that to begin with so I'd better choose something else. I appreciate and desire a lot of things in life but I don't count on them any more as reasons to keep going. I am grateful that God has given me eternal life. That is the ultimate in high quality of life for me. As I learn more about what God has done for me, I find that my appreciation for life deepens even in the midst of suffering.

 

I appreciate family, friends, pets and nature. I appreciate the ability to learn and grow.

[kiwik]

You all say health and of course the expression is "if you've got your health". But a lot of us have never had good health (I have had fairly severe asthma all my life) does that mean we can never have a good quality of life? Because that is very depressing. I think people can have a good quality of life without health even though good health for all would be nice. It also seems a bit mean to tell a whole section of society that their life sucks and they can't change it :-). I know it is never intended that way.

[Mergath]

I'm not that picky. I think I have a high quality of life because I get to stay home with dd, have enough money to pay for the roof and the food, am well-educated, live close to a great library, and am healthy enough to do the things I want to do in life. From a global perspective, my life is amazing, and I'm thankful for it every single day.

[Mergath]

You all say health and of course the expression is "if you've got your health". But a lot of us have never had good health (I have had fairly severe asthma all my life) does that mean we can never have a good quality of life? Because that is very depressing. I think people can have a good quality of life without health even though good health for all would be nice. It also seems a bit mean to tell a whole section of society that their life sucks and they can't change it :-). I know it is never intended that way.

 

 

I think it depends what you mean by "health." I have epilepsy, PCOS, and OCD, so by some standards I'm definitely not healthy. I'm healthy enough to go out and do most of the things I'd like to do though, so for the purposes of discussions like these, I'd say that I "have my health." I don't think people mean that you have to be absolutely in perfect health, just that you're not bedridden.

[kiwik]

Ok fair enough I have enough health then. I forgot books. I do not think I could have quality of life without books.

 

Eta. I do not know where the random punctuation came from.

[happymomofboys]

I think I must have low standards. For me a high quality of life is everyone healthy, clothed, fed, sheltered, a yard to run around in, a safe neighborhood with a nice park and a good library, and a job for dh with a comfortable commute that pays enough to cover all the bills while still having some to give and some to save so that I can stay home with our kids. Right now we're doing without dh having a job and I'm doing my best to maintain a comfortable quality of life for us all while he's in school. It's definitely a challenge, but I think because I didn't have high standards to begin with, it hasn't diminished our quality of life as much as it could have.

[Jean in Newcastle]

You all say health and of course the expression is "if you've got your health". But a lot of us have never had good health (I have had fairly severe asthma all my life) does that mean we can never have a good quality of life? Because that is very depressing. I think people can have a good quality of life without health even though good health for all would be nice. It also seems a bit mean to tell a whole section of society that their life sucks and they can't change it :-). I know it is never intended that way.

 

 

Kiwik, I haven't always had my health even by the standard that Mergath gave. I spent five years living in an armchair. I wasn't bedridden only because it hurt too much to actually lie down. I even slept in my armchair for those years. I have been fighting back from being an invalid for the past 4 years. It has been a painful journey. We all have different circumstances. I wouldn't say that I have a high quality of physical life because I still cannot do many of the things that I would like to do. But I have a worthwhile life and I do have a high quality of spiritual life. I actually think it's great that many people can count on and appreciate their physical health. It is a valuable thing.

[GSOchristie]

The most important thing is quantity time with my kids, I would sacrifice beauty, space, and access to extended family to make sure I could stay at home. But that aside, good health is important, if someone is sick it stressesme out and I have a hard time enjoying anything else. I want my kids to have positive, strong relationships with their extended family. I like lots of time with friends who share my values, so a good church community.

[Laura Corin]

Financial security, health, low-stress family relationships.

 

Then: somewhere green to walk, cultural activities (a choir to join, libraries, concerts), reasonably convenient food shopping, approachable people.

 

Laura

[MissKNG]

 

 

When you talk about quality of life, what do you mean? Which things are most important to you? What do you wish you had but don't where you live now?

 

 

Staying home, raising and educating my children.

[MissKNG]

 

 

When you talk about quality of life, what do you mean? Which things are most important to you? What do you wish you had but don't where you live now?

 

 

Staying home, raising and educating my children.

[Parrothead]

Coming off a three day insomnia attack I've got to say, SLEEP. If one isn't sleeping one isn't able to live well no matter where one lives or works or plays. If one can't sleep one can';t do any of that.

[Tita Gidge]

Closeness to family -- both geographical and emotional

 

Warm weather, preferably tropical -- allowing us to be outside daily and grow my favorite fruits and plants

 

Secure income and flexible work schedules -- financial peace of mind and ability to balance work/life

 

** I'm fortunate to have all three, and feel I have a great quality of life.

[LibraryLover]

You all say health and of course the expression is "if you've got your health". But a lot of us have never had good health (I have had fairly severe asthma all my life) does that mean we can never have a good quality of life? Because that is very depressing. I think people can have a good quality of life without health even though good health for all would be nice. It also seems a bit mean to tell a whole section of society that their life sucks and they can't change it :-). I know it is never intended that way.

 

 

That's what I mean about understanding what you can't control, while still trying to create quality of life. One of my dh's brother has an incurable cancer. He might live 3 more months, but if his immune system is protected, he could live a 2-3 years. We were together yesterday, sharing dinner, telling stores of the the old days. He was so animated, we were all laughing. He can't get out much, he had to leave his job, he is often in pain, and has to go to the hospital frequently, but yesterday we laughed so hard it hurt. He's dying. But has quality of life, or takes it where he can.