Lawana Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 Not the doorbell to my house, but the one used by MIL to signal she needed something. Only it wasn't MIL ringing, it was BIL, messing around. MIL is dying. She is unconscious and can't ring. Her other son and his adult daughter are here to be with her as she passes. The flood of feeling associated with the sound of the bell was overwhelming. Instantly, all the times I had responded to her requests to be taken to the bathroom, to have fresh orange juice, cold ice packs, to reheat her coffee, to change her pajamas because she had drooled all over herself in her sleep, came rushing back into my memory, with as much, if not more, force than when they had originally happened. I!m getting rid of that damn bell. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy in NH Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heatherwith4 Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 :grouphug: I'm so sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinder Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applethyme Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aggieamy Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 I'm so so sorry. ((HUGS)) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twigs Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baseball mom Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lollie010 Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 Oh no Lawana. I so understand what you are saying. My dad was in bed today. He is in his last days and it is so hard. Hoping that you and your family find peace and comfort during this time. It sounds like you have been a wonderful caretaker. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 :grouphug: I am so very, very sorry Lawana. And tell your BIL to knock it off with the bell. :glare: I'm sure he didn't mean any harm and was probably just trying to lighten the mood, but you should definitely let him know it upsets you to hear it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
besroma Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxMom Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 I am so sorry. So much stress surrounding end of life. I can't imagine the visceral reaction to hearing that go off. If it makes you feel any better, I totally thought it was going to be the meat truck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susann Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 I don't have any words to offer but am sending a comforting :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacia Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthwestMom Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 The days when a life is ending are strange, otherworldly, and heavy with destiny. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lawana Posted April 1, 2013 Author Share Posted April 1, 2013 Oh no Lawana. I so understand what you are saying. My dad was in bed today. He is in his last days and it is so hard. Hoping that you and your family find peace and comfort during this time. It sounds like you have been a wonderful caretaker. Thank you, Laurel. I wish you peace with your journey also. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lawana Posted April 1, 2013 Author Share Posted April 1, 2013 I am so sorry. So much stress surrounding end of life. I can't imagine the visceral reaction to hearing that go off. If it makes you feel any better, I totally thought it was going to be the meat truck. Thank you. Yes, stress. And tomorrow is my mother and ds's birthday. No fooling. Please don't let her die on my son's birthday. I don't have a gift for my mother yet. Where is the meat truck when you need it most! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delighted3 Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 My Mom passed 2 days after my brother's birthday, but I remember how hard we all prayed it wouldn't happen on his birthday. Wishing you peace and grace through this difficult time. :grouphug: Joy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aggieamy Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 Thank you. Yes, stress. And tomorrow is my mother and ds's birthday. No fooling. Please don't let her die on my son's birthday. I don't have a gift for my mother yet. Where is the meat truck when you need it most! This reminds me of a strange occurance we had in my family. About the same time my FIL, MIL, and DH's grandmother all ended up in a nursing home. FIL was in the worst shape and he died in May. We had to schedule his funeral for the day after DD's 5th birthday. His grandmother's funeral was the day before DD's 6th birthday. In April of the next year we knew MIL was dying. I felt like the worst DIL in the world but I prayed that God took her quickly because it was getting really close to DD's 7th birthday and the poor thing had mentioned that she really hoped there wouldn't be any funerals during her birthday anymore. It's pretty morbid but DH and I laugh so much when we look back at those pictures and see DD with a stack of presents and birthday cake at the kitchen table and there are all these funeral flower arrangement behind her and her little friends. Sometimes you just have to laugh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lawana Posted April 1, 2013 Author Share Posted April 1, 2013 This reminds me of a strange occurance we had in my family. About the same time my FIL, MIL, and DH's grandmother all ended up in a nursing home. FIL was in the worst shape and he died in May. We had to schedule his funeral for the day after DD's 5th birthday. His grandmother's funeral was the day before DD's 6th birthday. In April of the next year we knew MIL was dying. I felt like the worst DIL in the world but I prayed that God took her quickly because it was getting really close to DD's 7th birthday and the poor thing had mentioned that she really hoped there wouldn't be any funerals during her birthday anymore. It's pretty morbid but DH and I laugh so much when we look back at those pictures and see DD with a stack of presents and birthday cake at the kitchen table and there are all these funeral flower arrangement behind her and her little friends. Sometimes you just have to laugh. Your experience was quite interesting, because this is the second time it is happening to ds also. 3 years ago, my grandmother died on March 27. So dd, ds and myself flew to my hometown for the funeral. The viewing was on ds's and dm's birthday, with the funeral being the next day. We celebrated Easter Sunday the following day. There must be a special club for those kids who experience multiple deaths near their birthday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flowing Brook Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lawana Posted April 1, 2013 Author Share Posted April 1, 2013 Well, she is gone. 22 minutes before ds's birthday. RIP Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fourcatmom Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 :grouphug: So sorry for your loss. Prayers to your family. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ashfern Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 Well, she is gone. 22 minutes before ds's birthday. RIP :grouphug: I"m so sorry. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoughCollie Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 :grouphug: I am sorry for your loss. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
littlebug42 Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 I am so sorry for your loss. May your MIL rest in peace. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarlaS Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 Your experience was quite interesting, because this is the second time it is happening to ds also. 3 years ago, my grandmother died on March 27. So dd, ds and myself flew to my hometown for the funeral. The viewing was on ds's and dm's birthday, with the funeral being the next day. We celebrated Easter Sunday the following day. There must be a special club for those kids who experience multiple deaths near their birthday. My son was born just hours before my dad passed on the same day. My dad, with his ironic sense of humor would have thought this hilarious. I recall once when I was a teen, we had come home from a funeral and he said. "When I die, just throw a big party. Don't have a funeral for me." We did have a nice memorial service, and every year on that day we have cake! He would have loved this. Well, she is gone. 22 minutes before ds's birthday. RIP :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: So sorry for your loss. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aggieamy Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 I'm sorry Lawana. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Lulu* Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 I am so sorry for you loss. ((Hugs)) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
extendedforecast Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 I'm sorry for your loss, Lawana. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassenach Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 I'm sorry for your loss. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tex-bex Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 So sorry. Big hugs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 I'm sorry for your loss. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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