How do you feel about Children's Church ministry including excessive entertainment?

[acsnmama]

After reading the other post here about attending a Church with loud music....

 

How do you feel about Churches providing video games, and excessive entertainment included in the children's ministry (Sunday school/children's church)?

 

We have gone to 3 different Churches now that have offered these types of thing. The first Church had kids playing video games while waiting for Sunday school to begin. The second Church we tried was a friends Church, they had left ours and invited us to join them one Sunday, they said the kids love it and they are growing in their faith. Not only was the service very uncomfortable, the children's area had video games, along with "money" or rewards system so you could purchase things from the "store" they had there. After the service, we asked our 6 year old what he learned about God, and he couldn't remember a thing, but insisted he couldn't wait to return to "buy" more from the store. This past weekend we went to another Church, of someone else who used to attend Church with us. They insisted their children were also growing in their faith at their new Church, and invited us to join them. This place topped with the children's entertainment. They had a blow up slide, and bounce house, video games, board games, etc! After the service, we asked our son again, what he learned. And again he couldn't remember, he remembered bits of a puppet show, but nothing about God. He said he wanted to go back because it was "so fun." I explained to him that Church is for learning about Jesus, and while that can include fun and games, if he is leaving and can't remember anything, than it's likely not a place we should return. I asked him if he wanted to return because of God or because of the "fun" and he said it was because it was "fun." He then said, "Mom, I think they just have that stuff there to get people to come to Church!" The sermon at the last 2 Churches is a whole other topic, not where we want to be.

 

Our Church is not traditional at all. In fact, it's very contemporary, and they have fairly loud music, but not concert like. We went to one that was awful, and they even told you where to sit, but the sermon was great, however between the concert experience and the video games, we're not returning.

 

My husband and I have felt very convicted about the entertainment in the children's area. Our children love to learn about Jesus, but they're coming back with nothing. Our Church has a great children's ministry, but we've felt God directing us elsewhere, as we feel that our Church is becoming pushy of recruiting people, rather than shepherding those who are there. It seems to be increasingly filled with some who truly have the Holy Spirit, but mostly with people who come for the feel good experience. Our Pastor is a great preacher, but he fails in taking care of his people, this has been a lingering desire to leave. We will continue to go there though, until we know where God wants us, we know there is no perfect Church. We'd like to find a place that we and our children can grow in our faith, along with fellowship with others who love Jesus.

 

Anyway, I'll stop while I'm ahead, but I have been very taken back by the entertainment provided. I know it's appealing, but a carnival like experience in the children's area seems to be a large distraction. I know some of you may not agree, as our friends we attended with do not (which makes for feeling bad that we have to tell them that we don't feel their Church is for us, we're honest if they ask why).

[Carol in Cal.]

There is an unseemly desperation that fuels this.

Children might not yearn to learn more about God forever. Strike while the iron is hot. Get a good Bible curriculum, the kind with daily lessons (used in parochial schools) and teach them yourself, while you look for a church into which you can take your children WITH you.

Also, although learning about God is a crucial part of worship, I don't view it as the main one. The main purpose of worship is to receive God's gifts of Word and Sacrament. He serves us, and we respond thankfully. Once people see that, then reverence becomes important.

[justamouse]

My old church is just like the one you describe, the cash, the games, the circus. I used to be a teacher there. Last year we joined the Catholic Church. Nuff said.

 

Trying so hard to be relevant they become irrelevant and irreverant. I like the move beyond relevancy to the sacred. And my kids love it, too. Kids, I've found, are deeply moved by the sacred.

[Heather in Neverland]

BTDT... Never again. I think it is a travesty.

[Dandelion]

I don't care for it. I think it starts kids off with the wrong impression - that church should entertain them.

 

While attending church can and should be enjoyable, entertainment should not be the objective. When kids get accustomed to being entertained in children's church, it makes the transition to the adult service unnecessarily difficult for them (unless of course, the adult service is all about entertainment too - which in some cases it is).

[MFA323]

Wow. I'm shocked. We have children's chapel. The kids do the liturgy and read a story from a children's Bible. They absolutely love it. The talk on our drive home is always about who got to carry the cross and the candles in the procession. There's nothing flashy. It has been done the same way for decades.

[magnificent_baby]

Our children's program is fairly entertaining. However, the message is the focus, not the games. My kids LOVE church and get very upset if we miss. 

[TraciWA]

It is very sad that the Scripture and good Bible teaching is not enough to keep the kids excited about the Lord. To result to entertainment and "games" and special effects just to keep kids coming back seems to cheapen the Gospel in my opinion.

[chiguirre]

If you want to avoid loud music and children's entertainment, I'd start visiting liturgical churches. Roman Catholic and Eastern Orthodox churches expect children to attend mass with their parents and do their religious ed at another time. RC catechism classes are classes with textbooks and material that must be covered. It's schoolwork, not fun although most teachers do try to make it at least somewhat enjoyable. You should also look into mainline Protestant denominations that will have more traditional services (Methodist, Lutheran, Presbyterian, Episcopal...)

[Celia]

I've never been to or heard of a church being like that. I would not be impressed at all! Ours has colouring stuff and a few donated toys to entertain the kids between sunday school and the meeting. The kids mostly just play with eachother.

[milovany]

If you want to avoid loud music and children's entertainment, I'd start visiting liturgical churches. Roman Catholic and Eastern Orthodox churches expect children to attend mass with their parents and do their religious ed at another time. RC catechism classes are classes with textbooks and material that must be covered. It's schoolwork, not fun although most teachers do try to make it at least somewhat enjoyable. You should also look into mainline Protestant denominations that will have more traditional services (Methodist, Lutheran, Presbyterian, Episcopal...)

 

 

Good thoughts here, yes. I would add that, in the Orthodox experience of living the faith, the Divine Liturgy (and other services) are the "text book." We learn our faith through participating in the liturgical services and traditions, so that's why we don't have extra kids' church during the service. It's all organic and intertwined, for everyone not just kids. Classes (at a different time, usually on a different day) can be nice, but one can become Orthodox in faith just by participating in the sacraments and services. There are no age differentiations in Orthodoxy -- even infants are baptized, are in the services, and are communed at the Eucharistic chalice.

[Carol in Cal.]

PS I attend a Confessional Lutheran church that I joined when I was pregnant with my daughter. One of my criteria for finding a church to raise her in was that children were included in regular worship--age segregation only occurred at the teaching level, but not for worship. That means that I would not join a church that had a separate children's church, or that overlapped Sunday School with the Divine Service. Worship is the most important part of church membership, and should include everyone.

[lynn]

The church I have visited had video games and a air hockey table for the kids to entertain themselves before cc. Then inside it's all flashy fun, games, candy, award points for cool prizes (think chuck e cheese). There is a story told with the use of puppets. The stage is decorated for the theme of the story. DD could tell me the story but was always upset because the other kids ran her over when it came to her trying to play a game. So what are the kids learning there? Go to church to play, don't worry about any ones feeling, mom and dad are not watching, they drop off and leave, so I'll just take the control from a younger kid or take over the air hockey table with my buddy. This is church? A place to learn about and worship God?

[Incognito]

I am fine with our kids being entertained during the kids time (ages 2- 2nd grade) at our church. There are no exciting things, they go color pages and hang out with some very sweet teen girls. Sunday School has learning time, but kids time doesn't.

 

I think that it is a poor excuse for children's ministry to have a circus for the kids. BUT...

 

For me, kids time is occupying my kids so I can go to the service. My kids go to Sunday School, another weekly scripture memory program, and we disciple them intentionally at home.

 

FWIW, have you talked with leadership in the church you attend about your concerns? How have they addressed them? How can you personally make a difference in the issues you have problems with? But that is another thread.

 

ETA: I agree that church (and any learning or fellowship time) should not be about entertainment. It's why I don't have my kids play with toys when they are in the service with us, and I can see how that general attitude of entertainment of kids being the norm would be troublesome.

[Starr]

Remember this? If I remember correctly it's having sport with self, not meant to trash church.

 

 

 

"Sunday Morning Church" It's so relevant, it's contemprevent.

[magnificent_baby]

It is very sad that the Scripture and good Bible teaching is not enough to keep the kids excited about the Lord. To result to entertainment and "games" and special effects just to keep kids coming back seems to cheapen the Gospel in my opinion.

 

 

Not in the slightest. The Bible is and always will be the focus. I see it as a form of fellowship with other Christians. The kids program is growing like crazy. I want my kids in a church where they WANT to be there, especially as teens. My kids Biblical knowledge and spiritual passion is amazing to me. It was nearly non-existant at our old church, which was stale and not feeding our spiritual hunger. It's working for us!

[Lara in Colo]

DO you live in my town? That is what we keep finding around here. That is one huge reason we left our last church and have had such a hard time finding a new one.

Generally I find the trend becoming entertainment. For the children AND the adults.

I am not happy about it and it makes me want to just homechurch, but I know we need friends in God so I keep trudging on........

[Ellie]

I'm totally opposed to that. We wouldn't attend a church with that kind of stuff, or even stay at a church that began implementing entertainment instead of instruction.

[Carol in Cal.]

I believe that parents should find a church with reverent worship and truthful teaching and bring their children to it. Again, getting too distracting to 'lure' kids or adults for that matter reflects an unseemly desperation and in the end is counterproductive.

[SproutMamaK]

I don't think that's a worship service for children, I think that's babysitting. Which is fine, if the parents need a service like that so that they can focus on the preaching themselves, but it's not a spiritual education for the kids. If we teach our kids that God is tied to fun and games, how will they react when they discover that faith can sometimes be work, and that living a godly life is not at all fun and games? The whole concept makes me uncomfortable. The idea that God needs games and toys and gadgets in order to draw kids in... it seems designed to teach them from the beginning that God as He is, on His own, is not enough.

[acsnmama]

We are Evangelical Christian's.

 

I grew up going to more of a fire/brimstone type of traditional Church with hymns, etc. I like the worship at our current Church, but I do wish they would include more hymns, and I do wish there were some other changes, but as a whole, it's better to stay where we are, than to go to a single one of these other Churches we've tried.

 

We do teach them at home for sure, I don't feel that one should depend on Church to grow their children, but it should be a place they can go and fellowship. I grew up going to Sunday School before Church. Now many of the Churches are including Sunday School during the Church service.

[dirty ethel rackham]

I think it is inappropriate for a teaching environment. I can see it for some teen gatherings, but not for Sunday school or a time to learn about one's faith.

[Luanne]

This is exactly why we stopped attending the church we were going to. It is all about the fun and making people happy. The entire reason for that church has been completely lost. They were an awesome church when my daughter was little and we started going there. Then they grew, eventually had to build a new building, became a mega-church, and everything has gone down hill from there. It is sad. Really, really sad.

[Susan in TN]

A comment made by a wise lady in our church yesterday - "Whatever you give children to entice them to church or teach them to worship is what they will demand as adults. Maybe not real candy or games, but mind and spiritual candy and games."

 

The church is just as guilty of this in "adult" worship as it is for children - just takes on a different form.

[8circles]

No, I don't care for it either. At most I think one of the Children's church leaders plays a CD with the songs because she can't sing.

[acurtis75]

We moved from a very small very conservative church to a larger church that has more entertainment opportunities for children early last year. At first I was very frustrated and opposed to it and my initial impression was that dd would never learn anything there. We felt that we were supposed to attend this church during this season in our lives so we decided to give it a try. I will say that we believe it is our job to teach dd and help her grow spiritually not the churches so I just looked at the children's ministry as a social activity for her and dh and I decided to make her rotate between going to children's ministry events and adult worship with us.

 

Over the last year my impression has changed. Dd is learning. Although they have what they call "hang time" before Sunday School and there are games in that room, they break in to individual classes and have actual lessons after a large group session. The large group lessons are taught by a wonderful youth pastor and she comes home talking bout the truth she learned in them regularly. Dd has been exposed to missionaries and other speakers she never would have heard at our old church. They cover a thorough lesson each week and she and I discuss it on the way home. It is not as in-depth as what we could do at home but I see that as the equivalent to a math lesson in a ps classroom of 10 kids vs one on one at home. There's only so much you can get done in a limited time with a group.

 

 

Also, she's joined AWANA's and the Bible Quizzing team and learned a huge amount of scripture this year. She just competed in and won the local Bible quiz competition.

 

 

I guess the main point I would like to make is that no church is perfect. Larger churches deal with more visitors and have more "crowd control" issues during the time that people are coming and going to get ready for worship. In our case, you can drop your kids off 30 minutes or more before bible study or church starts so you can go serve in other ministry areas. Because of this, they have some entertainment and games available during that down time for crowd control and fellowship. When I first started dropping dd off I thought this was reflective of what would be going on the entire time we were in worship but it wasn't. I've also learned that running a children's ministry where you have 10-15 children who have been in church their entire life (like at our old church) and whose parents you've known for years is a little different than one with a hundred kids and regular visitors weekly who have never been to church before.

[Alexigail]

For me, church is something separate. Holy things are set apart from everyday things. This is true for kids as well. Of course we should try to have holiness in our every day lives. But bringing worldliness into the church is confusing for kids. I would rather my kids be in church and behaving terribly while learning the importance of holy things than distracting them with loud music and other ridiculous things just because they're dressed up as having Christian message or whatever.

Then again, this only applies to me and mine. God is present everywhere and calls us to Him in many ways.

 

ETA: I realize that I probably sound harsh and I don't mean to. I feel strongly that life isn't always fun and I don't want my kids to reject God later on because He's no longer entertaining to them. I have had to sacrifice a lot of "face time" with God in church because my kids are young and they're going to need a lot of guidance in church. But I believe that God honors that and that raising kids, like any task in life, is a way to work out my salvation. So though I have had to accept that I might not have the same experience with church services as I did before I had kids, it's worth it if my children learn that it's ok to be serious, quiet, and to struggle a little in life. My kids get plenty of tv, video games and fun time during the week. I don't want them to think that church is supposed to be fun. I want them to think that when it all goes away and they are faced with life's inevitable difficulties, the Church will be there to guide them and to offer a place of solace, not more distractions.

[Little Nyssa]

OP, I can not imagine such a children's ministry. It's totally unthinkable.

We have our kids in church with us. I also teach Sunday school-- I guess I am happy that my class is kind of tame and quiet-- at least I know they are learning something and not just having fun!

[naturally]

Luanne,

This is exactly where we are now. When we started going to our current church, it was great for us. The kids worshiped with us then were dismissed for Children's church. Now they go straight downstairs for the whole service. They have games, videos, etc. But they do have lessons and teaching and the pastor is great. But our boys rarely recall what they've learned. It's too much.

We are now a mega church, listed as one of the top 100 fastest growing churches in the country. New construction has started to expand the younger children's area because they don't have room on Sunday mornings in the nursery. I guess they actually have to turn people away from the nursery. That is so sad.

We go on Saturday nights because of my DH's schedule. I think Sat is too crowded anymore. Sundays now have 5 services!! 5!!! The sermon in 2 of the services and our satellite location is delivered via video that's recorded Sat night.

I want to look for another church but no one else close has a Sat night service that's any better than where we go now.

[acsnmama]

I totally agree that God calls people in all sorts of ways. For us, this has been a definite no. It's disappointing in my opinion, but I have definitely felt that worldliness has been brought into the Church, to attract people, children and adults.

 

I'm all for "fun" at Church. The children's ministry at our current church is great. They have worship time and a play before they split into their classes, my children DO come back talking about Jesus, rather than so-and-so was doing this or that.

 

The puppet show my son learned at the circus Church was about this boy who couldn't find something he was looking for, so he prayed, and then, there it was. My son was like, "all I have to do is pray and there it will be!" Sorry buddy, God doesn't work that way. Maybe this wasn't the point of the puppet show, but that is what he took from it, aside from the really cool blow up slide. It was so loud in the children's area I could barely hear myself think. We didn't turn around and leave because we were there with friends, and didn't want to discount them and their desire for us to attend Church with them.

 

I've had the kids listen to hymns here at home, and they love them. When I listen to the contemporary Christian station, they could care less. I appreciate that, and while I grew up in a traditional Church and it didn't help my walk with Christ, I also know that was completely because I wasn't being fed at home. Church became routine for me, and no amount of "fun" or "tradition" would've helped me grow spiritually because at home, Christ was a do and don't do list. No family Bible time, no family worship. It has made it harder for me to do that with my family now, because it isn't something that I grew up doing, but I do enjoy it, and I do want my children to have a love for Jesus on a personal level. I also do want them to realize that Church events are fun, youth events are fun, Church picnics are fun, but Sunday mornings don't have to be a free fun festival. I want them to be able to have fellowship with other children who love Jesus, not the latest and greatest video game, he had limited video games here at home.

 

With that said, I am nervous to attend other Churches. I may actually call Churches beforehand asking about the children's ministry before going.

[Alexigail]

I'm all for "fun" at Church.

 

:) I think church can be fun too, and my kids have a really fun Sunday school with crafts, singing etc. I don't want to get down on anyone who makes church attractive to kids, especially because there are many churches who demand total silence from kids and don't see them as the gift that they are.

 

With that said, I am nervous to attend other Churches. I may actually call Churches beforehand asking about the children's ministry before going.

 

That's probably a good idea. You know your kids best and what will be best for them.

[magnificent_baby]

Luanne,

This is exactly where we are now. When we started going to our current church, it was great for us. The kids worshiped with us then were dismissed for Children's church. Now they go straight downstairs for the whole service. They have games, videos, etc. But they do have lessons and teaching and the pastor is great. But our boys rarely recall what they've learned. It's too much.

We are now a mega church, listed as one of the top 100 fastest growing churches in the country. New construction has started to expand the younger children's area because they don't have room on Sunday mornings in the nursery. I guess they actually have to turn people away from the nursery. That is so sad.

We go on Saturday nights because of my DH's schedule. I think Sat is too crowded anymore. Sundays now have 5 services!! 5!!! The sermon in 2 of the services and our satellite location is delivered via video that's recorded Sat night.

I want to look for another church but no one else close has a Sat night service that's any better than where we go now.

I think that is an awesome "problem" to have. Ours is growing too and I love being a part of a growing church body where it's evident that people want to be there and are on fire and eager to spread God's Word.

 

 

[Tess in the Burbs]

I am torn about it but after this week I will say that I am in favor of anything that has the kids wanting to be there.

 

We were in a church in 2010-11 that had great entertainment...jumpy houses! My kids loved to go early and jump. Smart idea really to wear them out for Bible lessons. But my son wanted more intense Bible study. They offered one and he did it and started avoiding the larger group session.

 

so when we moved we went back to our small church with no kids and only a service. He was happy, dd was not. But we have had a weird winter with gymnastics and missed 2 months of church. So I offered up a new church yesterday. Dd was so excited to be around kids at church. Ds had to be convinced to go in. Just that morning he said his faith was going away simply b/c he had so many doubts. I was so sad.

 

But he loved the kid program(they have video games before the lessons) and knew kids there and wants to go back. The fact he is having faith doubts right now means I need and want him to want to be in church. And if that environment will keep him wanting to go then by all means I encourage it. He is excited about going back. If that helps him want to be there next year and into high school so be it. In our current church there is nothing for him and he's realizing that games can be fun and part of service to get the kids excited. And I am too wrapping my brain around this idea that entertainment is good.

 

I used to think it was distracting but now I see that some need a reason to get there.....the message will be there every week....but if he's not there to hear it he has no hope.....so yes, whatever it takes to get them there. God will move the heart.