Neighbors

[Denisemomof4]

Ok, the small town post has me wondering. I'd love to hear from others on this board. Please tell me if you are friendly with your neighbors, and please indicate your geographic location! If you're on the east coast, please indicate whether you're a northern or southern dweller. :001_smile:

 

I lived in CA until I turned 20. We used to go out to get the paper and mail in our pajamas. Our neighbors were all friendly with us and we looked out for each other.

 

I moved to NH in 1986. I was only a kid, part way through college, and got a job at the local mall. The first day I worked I left my shop to go get a coffee. I saw all those little carts in the mall and asked people if I could get them something, knowing that they couldn't leave the cart unattended. The looks I got were unforgettable, and one person even asked me what I wanted from them, to which I replied, "$1.00 if you want a cup of coffee." I learned never to do that again.

 

My parents spoke somewhat to their neighbors here but everyone kept to themselves. When I got a job in a large technical firm out here (Digital Equipment Corp then, and it employed a HUGE amount of the population) I had a hard time making friends. I dressed differently, spoke differently, and acted MUCH differently, which is a GOOD thing. Some people out here are just so STUFFY! I'm so sorry if I offend anyone, I truly don't mean to! And why did those people at Digital laugh at me with my polka dot high heeled, leather shoes, polka dot tight jeans, polka dot earrings......:confused: Was it really me? :lol: (it WAS the 80's , era of the LARGE hair and rocker look!) My friends in CA *LOVED* my outfit!

 

But when I got married and moved into my husband's place (he got it when he was 26) I was shocked to see again that he spoke to none of the neighbors.

 

When we bought our home where we are now, we moved in 6 weeks before Christmas. While I unpacked I also baked and baked and baked. I brought brown paper bags of baked breads, cookies and pies to each of my FOUR neighbors :D along with one specially chosen ornament for Christmas. Wow, what a cool reception I received! I learned QUICKLY not to ever count on neighbors HERE. I found it such a sad contrast to CA.

 

Anyway, I feel so lucky to have a few very close friends within 2 miles of my home. I consider THEM more my "neighborly" neighbor than my own.

 

Oh, and what's up with the people who are so friendly and waving one day, ignoring you the next, and then looking at you angrily as you pass them, only to be so cheerful and friendly again? We've had that in our neighborhood and it BAFFLES me. Oh well, their loss, not mine. :tongue_smilie:

 

So please, share about your neighbors!

Denise

 

(this all started because someone mentioned the huge differences between northern and southern people living on the east coast.)

[Shelly in IL]

It is great here. I live in the country with 6 acres, as do my neighbors - so there aren't many and they aren't close. However, last week, my husband went to go get my neighbor man (70's) and his tractor to pull out some bushes, and another neighbor man popped in, because it looked so fun (guys and dirt - they never outgrow it!). They had so much fun, they then went down to the new man's house to pull out some stumps, then he invited us all + kids to his house to swim in his pool.

 

A very neighborly place!

[Remudamom]

Midwest, and it depends. Most of the families have been here in this small town for generations. The farmers/ranchers help each other out, and watch each other's places. Our nearest neighbors are a newly married couple that rent one of our farmhouses, and we're friendly with them. She's a math teacher, and when I run into a problem I send the kids to her. Her dh takes our kids fishing.

 

Otoh, most of the "ladies" in town are just barely speaking aquaintance with me. 30 years ago it was because my dh, a hometown boy, was too good to marry his high school sweetheart, and "imported" me. And I was very different. I grew up in the country club/debutante circle, and with the exception of four of them (two of which were much older than me) I was decided a snob. Not true, but I did not know how things worked around here, I can tell you that.

 

Add homeschooling, and the fact that I'd rather ride my horses than gossip with them and I'm definitely outcast. Plus, we go to church 90 miles away, so as far as they're concerned their church isn't good enough for us. BUT, the moms that I know in the next town over are very nice to me. Before children I worked in a day school, and all "my moms" from that time period are sweet ladies. We still don't do things together, but they at least like me!

 

The older ladies are much friendlier than the ones my age.

[Desert Rat]

Las Vegas is a bizarre place to live, just right for us! I've been here for 25 of my 37 years. It's a transient town for one so big. We have lots of military and we have dreamers that come here thinking they'll make it big either gambling or in business, only to go bust and high-tail it out of town.

With that said, getting to know people is hard. It's hard to really like a new friend and learn that they're moving in a month or a year. It's sometimes hard on my kids.

We have lived on a cul-de-sac with only 11 houses on it for 9 years now. We know almost all of our neighbors by first names. I have a midwest attitude. I wave and say hello. I give banana bread and cookies at Christmas. If you're new, you get a plate of cookies and a welcome to the neighborhood.

There's always an uncertainty with people around here though. I just don't really trust them. The poor ladies next door are terrified even of my little boys (3 generations of women, the youngest being 50-ish). But they have asked for help when they needed it. That's a good thing. I rely on friends and relatives not neighbors. If I'm short a cup of sugar, we either go to the store or make something else. :o)

That's life here. Friendly, but at arm's length. Personal space is a biggy here, literally and figuratively. I've noticed even my relatives in Illinois stand very close to each other. I've been out here too long. My personal space is one arm length. Huge by most standards.

I'm interested to see other peoples' posts. Great thread!

[ticklbee]

Well, I live on the East Coast - I guess I'm a northern dweller being in NY. We are friendly w/our immediate neighbors but not overly so. We talk over the fence, my kids pet sit for them etc. but we don't do bbq's together or things like that.

 

Sometimes New Yorkers have the reputation of being rude & insensitive, but I've lived here all my life and have not found that to be true.

[Diana in OR]

I've posted about this before. I live in a very suburban area. All our neighbors keep to themselves. We sometimes talk with our next door neighbors, but most of the rest don't really talk to anyone. I tried to do a block party two years ago. Someone on my block got mad b/c the city made him move an illegally parked vehicle. He got several neighbors to not just boycott the party, but to be rude during the party doing things like driving through the part of the street we had legally blocked off and running their loud vehicles on purpose. The fact that several neighbors were in on it makes me really dislike my neighborhood.

 

I'm going to try again this year and hopefully it will go better.

 

I spent half my growing up in suburban Seattle, and all the neighbors were friendly and knew each other pretty well. The other half was spent in a small town in Oregon. Again, we all knew each other pretty well.

 

I think it's a shift in our culture. I think we all knew each other in part b/c the kids would play outside all day. My kids don't even know most of the kids on our street b/c they don't play outside, and they are not usually home during the day even in the summer.

[Angela in TN]

We are friendly with most of our neighbors. It's not uncommon for us to spontaneously congregate on a Friday or Saturday night and watch the kids play. I guess we lucked out with a lot of social butterflys on our street. We've heard it's not the same throughout the neighborhood.

 

My dh had shoulder surgery 3 weeks ago and one of neighbors has just said he's mowing our lawn until my dh gets the go ahead for putting pressure on his arm. We watch each other's dogs/cats when the others are away and watch each other's kids when needed. I feel lucky but it's VERY different from anywhere I've ever lived. Sometimes I stay in intentionally because while I LOVE socializing I do need a break to recharge. We are in East TN.

[chickenpatty]

We live in the middle of 5 acres and have only 1 set of neighbors that we can actually see. They are a sweet elderly couple who have become almost like family to us. I'm so thankful for them! We live in central VA. I've always lived in VA (grew up on the Eastern Shore), and we've always been friendly with our neighbors.

[Danestress]

In a nice suburban area.

 

We are in a subdivision with about 60 homes, and have an active HOA. We have supper club about 4 times a year, books club, and a few parties a year (Halloween, Christmas, Memorial Day).

 

I have some neighhbors who are very friendly - particularly those with dogs or kids. There is a great common area that leads into a greenway, and the dog people tend to congregate there and let our dogs play or walk/run them on the greenway.

 

I felt very welcomed when I moved in, and my boys have nice friends. We are all mostly members of a racquet/swim club that is walking distance away, and so many of us see each other at swim team in the summer.

 

That said, there are neighbors I have hardly met - particularly those without kids where both parents work. They just aren't around as much. Some couples like this make the effort to come to parties, others don't. Which is fine. I think sometimes once you have been in a place a long time and have good friends and your kids are grown, there isn't much incentive to try to make *new* friends.

 

Our home is spaced so that we don't really see neighbors we don't want to see. I've never felt like neighbors are "in my grill." The only neighbors who are close enough that it could be a problem are out of town about half the time at the beach house - so we don't really see them a lot!

[PrairieAir]

We are friendly with our neighbors here, but we weren't always friendly with our neighbors in Wichita.

 

The street we lived on in Wichita had our family, dh's parents, dh's grandparents, and the rest of the houses were rentals belonging to dh's grandparents. (Dh's grandfather built all the houses on that street over a period of 15 years or so as winter work for his crew which was mostly family.) Renters are usually more transient. Often there wasn't time to get well acquainted or they were used to not being very friendly/neighborly because they moved a lot. Sometimes they were nervous because we were related to their landlords. We always rented a house or apartment when I was growing up and usually lived in neighborhoods that consisted largely of rentals and this was pretty common for the neighborhoods my family lived in. I could point you to neighborhoods in Wichita where everyone is very neighborly. I think of them as front porch neighborhoods--everyone is out on their porches in the evening and the kids are running between yards playing together.

 

We live on 47 acres in the country. I can see my nearest neighbors' house from my kitchen window since we are both close to the road. My next nearest neighbor lives half a mile away. Even though we are far apart, people seem more neighborly than on our old street. We have our closest neighbors' home and cell numbers on our fridge. We keep an eye out for them and they do likewise for us. If horses, cattle, or dogs get out, people will call around and try to let the right person know and many will come help you get them rounded up. We don't see our neighbors every day, but I'd say we are friendly. FIL, MIL, and dh will go over and chat with our neighbors across the street. I usually wait for people to come talk to me or I will sometimes go over with dh. I love them, but I don't do well at initiating conversation.

 

I try to make pumpkin bread around Thanksgiving or some treat at another time of the year to bring to all of our closest neighbors. I did this the first year after we had bought the property--four years before we actually moved out here. I like to bake, I like to give things to people, and I wanted these people to know how happy we were to be moving to their "neighborhood" and that we were looking forward to having them as neighbors. Dh has to go with me to deliver, though, because I'm a big chicken:D We really enjoyed going last year. Some of our neighbors invited us in and we sat and talked with two of them that we'd only seen in passing--at least half an hour at each house. In talking to our second closest neighbor, somehow it was mentioned that we have a home Bible fellowship. (She may have asked where we attend church or something.) She was so excited about this and asked if she could come visit our fellowship. She's been coming for several months now and it has been so wonderful getting ot know her better and developing a friendship.

 

People in our small town are mostly very nice. Some are a little aloof. There are secrets in this town and some people don't like to talk about the past or let go of it. The percentage of people like that seems pretty small. Most people seem very welcoming and are trying to wipe out the prejudice and discrimination that was once much more widespread. Most people wave, as you pass, whether they know you or not. There's a little "news network" inthe town, and some of it is gossipy, but there's also a genuine concern for people.

 

Kansas seems to be a very friendly state for the most part.

[muffinmom]

We live in a urban neighborhood in Nashville. It's a walk-to-the-post-office-and-everywhere-else kind of neighborhood. Within walking distance we have restaurants, ice cream shop, grocery, health food store, bank, bars, music venues, boutiques, salons, etc. If you drive around here, you're looked at kind of weird. As a result, neighbors are out and interacting with each other all the time. So we have gotten to know our neighbors very well. They run over asking for the proverbial cup of sugar quite frequently! And I love that they feel that they can. We also have neighbors for dinner or, more often, just hang out outside with each other for a couple of hours, just because they walked past.

 

But I think that the people who move to this neighborhood *want* that kind of commuity interaction. We're in the South, but many of our neighbors are transplants from around the country.

[Only me]

We live in a small suburb of Chicago in a subdivision. Our neighbors next door are very friendly (They are 40ish couple without kids). They are the ones who I can really count on to watch our house while we are on vacation, borrow sugar from, etc. and we do the same for them. We will often chat over the fence. Some of our neighbors can be very nice one day and ignore us the next. Most of the people in our subdivision wave if you are driving past or walking past their yard.

[JFSinIL]

Grew up in S. Calif. and we knew the neighbors and watched out for each other. Now am in Illinois, n/w of Chicago by about 40 miles...and it is the same as back home.

 

I think the East Coast natives may be a tad more reserved????? Don't know - the only family we met once while traveling back East offered to babysit our four kids so hubby and I could enjoy an anniversary dinner!

 

Maybe it is your polka dots...:D

[cindyinTexas]

We are in South Texas our lots are 3/4 of a acre.

 

For the most part we "Love" most of our neighbors and or friendly/some are like family. They have helped me in more ways than I have ever deserved. Drove me to hospital, cooked for me, helped me when hubby was working and something needed doing urgently. We borrow groceries from each other, help each other out doing small jobs, do house and pet sitting. Our children do things together.

 

THEN>>>>

We have some that you cannot get along with.

1. The couple that lives behind us. They are retired, never had children and gripe and complain about everything. They complain to other neighbors, speak ill of others children...ect...ect..

 

2. Then we have the very next door neighbors. They are in their 50's...they have children that dump their grandchildren on them when they get a chance. Their 9 month old crawled over to our fence when the grandmother wasn't looking and a dog bit him. Well needless to say, even though they had no proof it was our dog...guess what? Our dog got 10 days quarantine $100.00 for a little blood blister to the childs skin. The animal control said that it could have been one of their dogs as well. Husband call them to see what had happened and they just giggled, replied nothing, everything was fine.

Go figure!!!

 

This is my big beef with them.....they let those little ones wander over to our driveway. I am sorry but I do not want to run over one of these little children because the grandparent is too busy to watch them.

 

With all of this we try to be friendly but I cannot say we have a neighborly friendship.

 

3.Then there is the recluse SP?? across the street who has put up a barbed wire fence and milk jugs and walmart sacks to mark his property boundry. LOL, I can deal with this. For the most part it just gets giggles and questions from people who come to visit with us.

 

I Just remind myself over and over, whispering it under my breath when trying to deal with them.

 

"Love Thy Neighbor as thy self"

 

Forgot to mention that there are some who live on my very street that don't even wave or speak. Most of us have been here 20 plus years. I think some people just like to be left alone and don't have time for even a brief bit of friendship.

[elegantlion]

We moved from the midwest to the south. Our neighborhood is a big circle (1 mile all around) of 1 -3 acre lots. I was expecting a little bit of southern hospitality. We moved two years ago and I have met exactly three of my neighbors.

 

I'm not real outgoing and they all work during the day. Except the retired man next door who hassled us about trees after living here for two months. He even had the nerve to send a certified letter about one tree, there are literally hundreds between our house and his and the previous owners lived here over 30 years. :glare: So that made me bitter, not better.

 

It's a great beautiful neighborhood, but people don't mingle. I rarely see any neighbors talking together. My ds has friends next door and we sort of know the parents. We asked them over several times when we moved here, but that never happened. I feel like an outsider in my own neighborhood. There I said it. I would rather live in the country and not have to deal with neighbors at all.

[DB in NJ]

I grew up in northeast philly -- before the days of central air. We were all friends. During the hot summer months, the houses (brick) were like ovens all day; there was no choice but to be outside, running around under the fire hydrant (until some kill-joy called the fire department and they came to shut it off). Anyway, we were all very friendly and everybody knew everyone else.

 

Now we live in South Jersey. With most families, the dh and dw both work, so nobody's even home during the day. When they are home, they're inside with the a/c on. Nobody hardly even speaks to anyone else, unless they have to.

 

dh is pretty friendly with the guy next door, and my dd and I talk to the neighbor across the street about LOST every week. Other than that, we're all friendly and wave at each other, but we're not involved in each other's lives. The next door neighbor watches our house while we're on vacation and vice-versa.

 

I miss my row-house life.

[King Alfred Academy]

My parent's are still living in the house I grew up in in Iowa. We knew all of our neighbors...all. We all looked out for each other. It was great! Now, a lot of them have died, moved, or have gotten older (& don't come out too often). Things have changed. My parent's still know a few of them, but it is not like it use to be. It's really sad. People seem to just keep to themselves more.

 

We know our neighbors here in Middle TN fairly well. We live in an apt. complex and it's mainly just friendly type gestures, not really *knowing* your neighbors. People move in and out so often.

 

I am hoping to really know our neighbors when we move into student housing in the fall. It'll be a community of family grad. students who are going through the same things and I h=am hoping to find support and encouragement there.

[Mom to Aly]

I was really interested in people's responses to this, because, for me, it has been the opposite of what most people would expect. I was born in the Bronx, and lived in what is now a horrible area until I was 9. There, everyone in our apt. building knew everyone else, and we had block parties all the time.

 

When I was 9, we moved to Riverdale (a really good part of the Bronx). I lived in one of a set of 3 buildings, 22 stories each, and all the kids played together, you knew everyone on your floor, most kids in your whole building, it was wonderful.

 

Then we moved to an expensive, somewhat snobby suburb, but everyone in town knew you, and was friendly. I am still very close to my friends from high school, some of my best friends. We knew everyone on the block, the grown ups all got together regularly. This was normal to me.

 

I lived in NYC, in Greenwich Village, all through college and after. I knew everyone on the floor of my apt building, and a ton of people in my building, people on the block, same experience.

 

I moved to VA 15 years ago. I've lived in the same house for 12 years. I know one fam well enough to talk to and say "Hi". They have a granddaughter who is 3 weeks younger than my dd. We have gotten together twice in the last year, and that is it. THe other neighbors I say "Hi" to, and that is it.

 

Also, friends we have made here have been great friends, but, if native to the area, when they move, they are GONE! They are not big on keeping in touch, from what I have seen. We can see them almost everyday before they leave (on their instigation), but, once they are gone, that is pretty much it.

 

I really don't get people down here. Whatever happened to southern hospitality? I find most people in the south fake and superficial. I much prefer northern mentality.

[Denisemomof4]

 

You know, the first time I heard someone say that people in the south were fake and superficial, I really thought that was their unusual experience. I guess not. This shocks me! But reading through the posts so far, it seems there are quite a few people who live in the south and they aren't friendly with their neighbors.

 

I think the reason why I have good friends is because I'm an extrovert who wants to rescue everyone and everything (hand raising a baby dove right now! I have newborn mama fatigue!) and I just put myself out there to support and help others all the time. Also, if I know someone at church, or anywhere else for that matter, doesn't know anyone and is looking to connect, I will take them under my wing and connect with them, and also help them find other connections.

 

I think it really helps to be out going, although I know more than once people thought I was fake and superficial until they got to know me. It's not normal in New England. :D

 

Denise

[Denisemomof4]

it was off topic. I still don't like my neighbors. :tongue_smilie:

[Brigitte]

I just moved to Bristol, VA. We finished our move on 6/30 and we had met two of our neighbors a few days before. On 7/1, our twins' bday,the neighbors from across the street brought cupcakes and presents for our girls. By the end of our first weekend we had 4 invitations to join churches. If you go out and walk the dog, don't expect to get home quickly, everyone outside wants to chat. It is a very friendly place. Of course, the population in our neighborhood is on the older side.

[Mom to Aly]

You know, the first time I heard someone say that people in the south were fake and superficial, I really thought that was their unusual experience. I guess not. This shocks me! But reading through the posts so far, it seems there are quite a few people who live in the south and they aren't friendly with their neighbors.

 

I think the reason why I have good friends is because I'm an extrovert who wants to rescue everyone and everything (hand raising a baby dove right now! I have newborn mama fatigue!) and I just put myself out there to support and help others all the time. Also, if I know someone at church, or anywhere else for that matter, doesn't know anyone and is looking to connect, I will take them under my wing and connect with them, and also help them find other connections.

 

I think it really helps to be out going, although I know more than once people thought I was fake and superficial until they got to know me. It's not normal in New England. :D

 

Denise

:iagree: I'm beyond extroverted--I'm the person who talks to everyone, who goes up to the person standing alone and makes them feel at home, and I'm the only person in my cul-de-sac who even talks to everyone else. I've always had a ton of friends, and have never been shy. I can guarantee you it is the people here--no one can make more of an effort than I. People here are just not that friendly. It is like you hear about the north--they have their own lives, live them, and that is it.

[Tap]

We are friends with almost all of our neighbors. We have been in our house 7 years and have several families who have been here about the same. I came name most of the families on our cul-d-sac and their kids. We do block BBQs and dh and I are getting ready to buy a projector so we can have movie night on the lawn with the neighborhood kids. Around the holidays, we all take each other treats and if someone new moves in, they are typically greeted with yummies from at least one family.

 

 

The biggest thing....We all watch out for each other and each other's kids.

 

Tap in Portland Oregon/Vancouver Washington.

[bettyandbob]

I live in NoVa now. I live in a townhouse. I know the 5 neighbors to my right and the 8 neighbors in the adjacent perpendicular row. I also know many other people spread through my community. My next door neighbor I can absolutely count on in an emergency. She's the one my kids know they can go to. There are other neighbors that will help if they know there's a need. I found this out last winter when I had to leave my 13 year old in charge for a couple of hours and my 6 year old tripped and ripped open his forehead. After calling me to come home, my middle child ran out of the house to get next door neighbor. She had to go the home of another neighbor where nextdoor neighbor works. A third neighbor saw my dd crying as she ran up the sidewalk and came to help. By the time I got home to load the little guy in the car for a trip to get stitches my house was full of neighbors assisting my oldest. Oldest, btw, did a great job putting pressure on the wound and keeping the little guy calm.

 

While I grew up around here, this is a place people come to from all over. CA, FL, PA, CO, IL, TX, etc. so, there's real mix of backgrounds. We have a cookout about once a summer, we set up a potluck table on Halloween while we pass out candy to trick or treaters, sometimes we have a holiday gathering. We're busy, but we know a bit about each other.

[iquilt]

We are home pretty much all by ourselves during the day on our street. There are a lot of kids on our street but they are either all in school and then afterschool activities or summer camps all summer long. The parents are so busy running all over the place that we rarely see anyone but the UPS man and the mail lady. We do have several friends in our neighborhood within walking distance, but our street is really too busy to make friends :) I think it's sad, but I also try not to worry about it. I'm always friendly when I see anyone out and sometimes I get a smile back.

[Scarlett]

Whatever happened to southern hospitality? I find most people in the south fake and superficial. I much prefer northern mentality.

 

Why whatever do you mean? (insert batting eyelash emoticon) Bless your heart.

[Mama Lynx]

I just moved to Bristol, VA. We finished our move on 6/30 and we had met two of our neighbors a few days before. On 7/1, our twins' bday,the neighbors from across the street brought cupcakes and presents for our girls. By the end of our first weekend we had 4 invitations to join churches. If you go out and walk the dog, don't expect to get home quickly, everyone outside wants to chat. It is a very friendly place. Of course, the population in our neighborhood is on the older side.

 

We're experiencing something similar. Three neighbors have introduced themselves to me and offered any kind of help I should need. When we moved into the house in Michigan, ONE woman came up to me and welcomed me to the neighborhood - and then handed me the HOA regs. That was it. It was a very social neighborhood, but we were definitely excluded.

 

So far here everyone seems friendly. My younger kids already have neighborhood friends they play with *every* day. The parents of these kids seem very laid back (like me), and don't mind the kids running around out front, or in and out of each other's back yards. We all look out for them. There are 11 kids in three houses in a row on my side of the street!

[Mamagistra]

During the hot summer months, the houses (brick) were like ovens all day; there was no choice but to be outside, running around under the fire hydrant (until some kill-joy called the fire department and they came to shut it off).

 

Your post reminds me of this Lawrence Ferlinghetti poem:

 

Fortune

has its cookies to give out

which is a good thing

since its been a long time since

that summer in Brooklyn

when they closed off the street

one hot day

and the

FIRE MEN

turned on their hoses

and all the kids ran out in it

in the middle of the street

and there were

maybe a couple dozen of us

out there

with the water squirting up

to the

sky

and all over

us

there was maybe only six of us

kids altogether

running around in our

barefeet and birthday

suits

and I remember Molly but then

the firemen stopped squirting their hoses

all of a sudden and went

back in

their firehouse

and

started playing pinochle again

just as if nothing

had ever

happened

while I remember Molly

looked at me and

ran in

because I guess really we were the only ones there

 

(Sure sounds like fun!) :001_smile:

[Fourmother]

In my Southern California working class neighborhood people keep to themselves. There was no welcome wagon when we moved in. I've never seen inside any of the homes, and only one person has been inside mine. Our children don't play together. We've received to 2 or 3 invitations over the last 4 years - all politely declined. Consequently, we have very, very few problems with our neighbors. That's just the way I like it. Don't start none, won't be none. Trouble that is.

 

I used to be an outgoing, making friends, getting to know neighbors, hosting barbeques kind of person. After some very bad experiences I'm now pleasant but distant. I wave or say hello, but tend to avoid anything more than polite pleasantries. My mother always emphasized self reliance, so I'm not accustomed to seeing neighbors as support in any way. I've never even borrowed so much as a cup of sugar from a neighbor in my life. I don't ask people to watch my children, and I don't want the responsibility of having other people's children in my home or yard. We haven't done a playdate at someone's home (mine or otherwise) in many years. My kids see their friends at a weekly homeschool parkday, and that's enough (sometimes more than enough) for me. I always fear that when people say neighbors look out for each other it may mean that the neighbors are looking into everybody's business - a somewhat irrational fear I know.

 

So it seems that I've turned into something of a Scrooge. At least that's what dh says. He sometimes plays golf with a neighbor across the street, and would very much like for me to make friends with the man's wife so our girls can play together. Needless to say there's zero chance of that happening. Scrooginess aside, I'm fairly satisfied with my life as a semi-hermit. The more I hear folks complaining about their neighbors and friends, the less motivation I have to change my ways. I have very little tolerance for drama. I've got quite enough of my own.

[momof3gifts]

Just my experience but I grew up in WA and have lived in CA and AK since then and our neighbors were friendly. We looked out for each other...etc.

 

In OK, NC, FL etc we might have said Hello and introduced when we first move in but then it becomes like the other poster where they smile sometimes, ignore others--its weird..

 

Also, the OK, NC and FL towns were smaller- maybe that's why.

[klmama]

I live in the midwest in a medium-sized city. I'm an introvert, and most of my neighbors are even more so. It took awhile to get to know people! We've lived here 13 years, and I've spoken to the lady across the street a total of three times. She just doesn't want to talk - she gets very nervous if we try to start a conversation, so now we just wave.

 

After a couple of years, the extremely introverted next door neighbors warmed up to us a bit. Our kids (the extroverts) talk to them all the time over the fence as they work in their yard, and they've come to be good friends. We are friendly to each other, but I woudn't call us friends - just good neighbors.

[Debbi in Texas]

I haven't read all the replies, but in my 'neighborhood" there are only 3 families. One morning not long after we moved here, the elderly man knocked on our door before 7 am to ask if we wanted any catalpa worms. It is difficult to go over there without coming home with something from his huge gardens.

 

Even before we moved in, he offered to let my son and me spend the night in his RV. I had driven in to do some cleaning and the electricity was due to be turned on the next morning.

 

I am used to being in the South, but this neighbor is by far the freindliest I have ever known.

[Ferdie]

We are in Texas with friendly neighbors. Our immediate street has 11 houses and we see the neighbors two house deep on either side of us all the time. Our kids play together almost every day and in the summer the wives get together and do a bible study.

 

In CA our first neighborhood was great. We had a "neighborhood quarterback" who coordinated parties for each holiday. In our second neighborhood the neighbors accross the street were 30 year original owners. Something happened over the years and they wouldn't speak to each other which made things a little tense. We also had a lot of 2 income families. So while the neighbors were friendly we didn't see them that often.

[BMC]

with the neighbors that speak English. We live in a townhouse on a 12-unit courtyard, and you'd be amazed how little we see of the neighbors - especially those without kids.

 

Before the newest set of neighbors moved in, or the old ones moved out, we were quite friendly. I was greeted with baked goods, we had "happy hour" every Wednesday if the weather was nice, twice yearly courtyard BBQ/potlucks, congregated outside for Halloween, set off fireworks on the 4th etc. That lasted about 10 years, then they all moved except us. I miss the old days.

 

Now I would call us cordial with the neighbors, not friends. Most are immigrants and are more into staying with their ethnic group.

 

DH has been promising that we'd move in 5 years since 1984 when we moved to this area. We moved once in 1994 from a small condo to a small townhouse where we still remain - though all our neighbors (condo and townhouse) have all moved up in the real estate market lol. He does still talk about moving when we retire, but I'm not counting on it. IF we do, I hope I can find real neighbors, I can't imagine feeling this isolated when I'm old. :lol:

[mommaduck]

South Carolina...open and friendly...especially if you are southern daughter

Washington...open and friendly

Illinois...do it their way or it's not the right way...people in eachother's business...beyond a few good gems in the bunch, I don't have very many good memories of that place.

Pennsylvania...wonderful...not always open, but they are friendly and it's a to each their own mentality.

[Soph the vet]

I grew up in Connecticut, great neighborhood, all the kids knew eachother but the parents knew of eachother, IFKWIM. People were definitely more candid in their thoughts about eachother out there than here...Minnesota....there is this weird thing called "Minnesota Nice". I call it strange. You see everyone here is nice to eachother, but it takes half of forever to really get someone to invest in a real friendship. I was brought up to be authentic and let people know where they stand with me. Here, I never really know how much I may have offended someone because they don't let on....unless of course you are in your car!:auto:

 

We have a couple of great neighbors and a couple of stinkers. Nuff said.

[mommaduck]

Oh, I hate that "midwest nice"...just tell me what you think and let's move on with our lives, PLEASE!

[Amy in Orlando]

We're very lucky. We know and like our neighbors. The kids get along. We help each other when needed. We do have bbq's and get togethers throughout the year. I don't know anyone else in Orlando who even knows their neighbors, so I think our street is kind of unusual. I also like that we've all lived here long enough that we have some unwritten "rules." If someone's garage door is closed (our garages are all in the front of our houses) that means the kids can't play and it's not a good time to visit. Very easy and everyone honors that.

[starlashine]

I've lived in a few different areas in Baltimore and people are ok. There were some bad apples, especially in the city. But there were nice folks as well. Here in Harford Co., I made one good friend in my immediate neighbor, but she just moved, so I am feeling lonely in the neighborhood now. All my close friends live in the county to the south of us. So, here it is a wave and smile kinda bunch, though I feel kind of excluded because the other side of my street where all the maintenance people for the complex live is super chummy, and over here we just say hi.

[AmyB]

You personally can make so much difference in a neighborhood. We live in a rough area, and the neighbors look out for each other. I got them to wave to an elderly senile woman, and it makes her day. I look out for the elderly people. If they and the kids feel safe, everyone feels safe.