SonshineLearner Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 Ok so, Poll to follow. I'm trying to figure out how I feel about other people's kids being in my van. I have just given up my son's carseat, and he's 9yrs old. (I do mean a 5 pt harness) So, my turn to drive to somewhere and I know my friend doesn't use all the parts of her carseat. (the middle between the legs part) It kinda freaks me out, because I think that means she could slip out of it. The other parts weren't very tight either. I know I'm an uptight freaked out person, so tell me how you'd deal with it... or to calm down. Her daughter is 3yrs old. I'm not sure her 6 year old uses a booster still, either... (Multiple Choice Poll) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sneezyone Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 In my car, everyone is properly buckled. In myfriend's car? My kids are properly buckled, she can do what she likes for her own. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathryn Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 In my car, everyone is properly buckled. In myfriend's car? My kids are properly buckled, she can do what she likes for her own. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cindergretta Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 Ok, so you are driving her children around in your vehicle? If that is the case and it were me, I'd insist all children be properly installed in proper seats - car, booster, 5 point, whatever - depending on the child and the law. My dc are in safety seats beyond the law, but they are small and the laws are based on age. If my dc are in someone else's vehicle, I insist they be protected exactly as they are in my vehicle. If someone else wants their child to ride in my vehicle who isn't legally required to be in a safety seat, that is their prerogative. But if they are using a safety seat for their child in my vehicle, than I would absolutely insist it be used properly. I am responsible for that child's safety when they are in my vehicle. No jerry-rigged, misused pieces of equipment! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
allymom Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 In my car, everyone is properly buckled. In myfriend's car? My kids are properly buckled, she can do what she likes for her own. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cortana Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 Any kids in my car are going to properly secured regardless of who's kids are in the vehicle. If there's an accident or anything, I'm the one responsible and the officer isn't going to care if the kids are mine or not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pretty in Pink Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 In my car my rules apply to all occupants. They would abide by the law or they wouldn't ride in my vehicle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 Ok, so you are driving her children around in your vehicle? If that is the case and it were me, I'd insist all children be properly installed in proper seats - car, booster, 5 point, whatever - depending on the child and the law. Yes, this. Absolutely, I would make sure the 3yo was buckled in the way she was supposed to be, all parts used, etc. The 6yo might depend on the car and the size of the 6yo, as well as the law. In my state, 6yo must be in boosters, so it would be a no-brainer. But in a state that didn't require a booster for a 6yo, it would depend on whether or not the 6yo met all the requirements for sitting without one, which depends on the size of the child and the car. If the child can safely sit with his/her back against the seat, shoulder belt in the proper position, etc., I don't know that there's an actual safety advantage to the booster, so it would depend on that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dinsfamily Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 In my car my rules apply to all occupants. They would abide by the law or they wouldn't ride in my vehicle. I tend to agree with this. Like you, OP, my ds8 just moved from the 5pt harness to a booster because he outgrew it height-wise. I wouldn't insist a 6 yr old be 5 pt harnessed even though that is my standard, but I would insist on a booster even if it weren't the law here. 5 and under would be in 5 pts no matter what. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perry Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 In my car my rules apply to all occupants. They would abide by the law or they wouldn't ride in my vehicle.:iagree: People who aren't properly restrained are a danger to others in the car in the event of an accident. So everyone is restrained correctly, or they don't ride. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
staceyobu Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 In my car, all children will be properly harnessed according to the law. So, my own four year old is harnessed, but by law a four year old in my car would be in a booster. My own 2 year old would be rear facing... someone else's two year old would at least be harnessed. I would not allow a child in a carseat without all straps buckled. If I am in an accident and that child is killed, I'm the one stuck with the guilt. Or, if I am pulled over, I'm ticketed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdventureMoms Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 In my car, all children will be properly harnessed according to the law. So, my own four year old is harnessed, but by law a four year old in my car would be in a booster. My own 2 year old would be rear facing... someone else's two year old would at least be harnessed. I would not allow a child in a carseat without all straps buckled. If I am in an accident and that child is killed, I'm the one stuck with the guilt. Or, if I am pulled over, I'm ticketed. :iagree: Pretty much exactly. My 21 month olds are RF and my 4yo is harnessed (and they will be for a long time). I'd be ok with someone else's FF 1yo or boostered 4yo. I would not be ok with a FF infant, toddler who is not harnessed or harnessed incorrectly (such as the situation in the OP) or a child who still needs a booster legally riding without one (in my state boosters are required until 8yo, or 80lbs, I think). Regardless of the seat, if it is in my car, it will be properly installed and used. In her car she can do what she wants, though if it is particularly bad I might have a hard time not commenting. My children are buckled properly when they ride, generally in seats that I install. I can think of maybe 3 or 4 people I'd trust to install a seat for one of my kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 Ok so, Poll to follow. I'm trying to figure out how I feel about other people's kids being in my van. I have just given up my son's carseat, and he's 9yrs old. (I do mean a 5 pt harness)So, my turn to drive to somewhere and I know my friend doesn't use all the parts of her carseat. (the middle between the legs part) It kinda freaks me out, because I think that means she could slip out of it. The other parts weren't very tight either. I know I'm an uptight freaked out person, so tell me how you'd deal with it... or to calm down. Her daughter is 3yrs old. I'm not sure her 6 year old uses a booster still, either... (Multiple Choice Poll) What the?! The crotch buckle IS the "seat belt". The chest clip is only for positioning, not safety. (Many European car seats don't even have a chest clip.) She's basically not buckled at all! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 In my car, everyone is properly buckled. In myfriend's car? My kids are properly buckled, she can do what she likes for her own. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vonfirmath Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 In my car my rules apply to all occupants. They would abide by the law or they wouldn't ride in my vehicle. This Law in Texas is ride in seats of some kind (booster counts) until age 8. My sister got rid of my nephew's at age 7. I refused to drive with her son breaking the law. So he went with my sister until he was 8. I also would not allow a kid to sit improperly buckled. Eitehr the other person would have to drive their car. or we would make sure they were properly fastened into the seat. But then I'm not fond of other folks driving my kid around either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jessicalb Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 That 3yo would ride correctly in my car and I would give the mom a piece of my mind about how shoe does it in her own car. Terrifying. :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lailasmum Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 I always insist on proper car seats. Mine are both in high back boosters. My eldest is right on the verge of being tall enough to not need one from a legal point of view but we will keep using one for a good while longer for the other protection. My son recently switched from 5pt to high back. I have never seen a 5 pt for an older child here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 Any kids in my car are going to properly secured regardless of who's kids are in the vehicle. If there's an accident or anything, I'm the one responsible and the officer isn't going to care if the kids are mine or not. Yes, completely. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8circles Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 Ok so, Poll to follow. I'm trying to figure out how I feel about other people's kids being in my van. I have just given up my son's carseat, and he's 9yrs old. (I do mean a 5 pt harness)So, my turn to drive to somewhere and I know my friend doesn't use all the parts of her carseat. (the middle between the legs part) It kinda freaks me out, because I think that means she could slip out of it. The other parts weren't very tight either. I know I'm an uptight freaked out person, so tell me how you'd deal with it... or to calm down. Her daughter is 3yrs old. I'm not sure her 6 year old uses a booster still, either... (Multiple Choice Poll) Wait... She uses a 5-point harness but only buckles the chest-clip? If so, that's almost as bad as not using a seat at all in a bad crash. The chest clip is there to hold the straps in the right place on impact but won't hold in a bad accident, it isn't made to. That's insane. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8circles Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 What the?! The crotch buckle IS the "seat belt". The chest clip is only for positioning, not safety. (Many European car seats don't even have a chest clip.) She's basically not buckled at all! You beat me to it. I'm really stunned that anyone would do this. I'm hoping that I misunderstood the OP. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Rain Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 I think you are legally responsible for how all of the children in your vehicle are restrained, even if their mother put them there in a broken seat. It could potentially be very awkward, but I would not drive around children who are not properly restrained. I didn't vote on the 6yo because I don't know what the booster laws are. A 5pt harness without the crotch strap sounds worthless. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
staceyobu Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 One other thing... I plan on keeping a cheap booster seat around. It won't help with the 3 year old, but that way if you have an older kid riding with you, you have a booster on hand. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melissad2 Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 Any kids in my car are going to properly secured regardless of who's kids are in the vehicle. If there's an accident or anything, I'm the one responsible and the officer isn't going to care if the kids are mine or not. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 In my car my rules apply to all occupants. They would abide by the law or they wouldn't ride in my vehicle. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathryn Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 In my state, the driver is legally responsible for passengers under 18 being secured properly. Any passengers in my car must be legally buckled up. I don't really trust many people to drive my children around, but when/if they do, they are restrained according to my standards. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 I'm a wee bit safety crazed after years as an ortho/neuro nurse. So from time to time I worry that I'm too serious about these things. A couple of years after a young mother moved away from out neighborhood she stopped by to say hi. She said I saved her son't life when they were in a snow accident and the car flipped. I looked at her funny and asked how that could be. She then told me the detailed story including the carseat staying in place with him in it. I didn't even remember that I showed her how to use it properly. You never know. The other thing that makes me crazy and I won't do is buckle a couple of kids together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NittanyJen Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 Wait... She uses a 5-point harness but only buckles the chest-clip? If so, that's almost as bad as not using a seat at all in a bad crash. The chest clip is there to hold the straps in the right place on impact but won't hold in a bad accident, it isn't made to. That's insane. I actually misunderstood this when I read the OP and voted . . . I was envisioning just some hard plastic hump or something, but this puts it in a whole different light. Yes, that is terribly irresponsible-- in this scenario, even without an accident, the child could slide downward and suffocate or strangle on the chest clip, couldn't she? In an accident, she could submarine out of there and fly forwards in the car. She would be safer in no carseat at all, but a regular seatbelt :/. As for the 6YO, it would depend up on the height and physical maturity of the child. Some 6YO are taller than others (I have a kid who passed 5' while still 8 years old-- keeping him in a booster would have been insane. He outgrew his first Graco infant seat for facing backwards by 6 months, and we had to buy a bigger one for him to remain rear-facing, and we still only barely managed to keep him backwards for a year-- his knees were up by his ears) and some have clearly more developed muscle control than others (won't slump over and rest their necks on the belt, etc). A little peanut of a kid of nearly any age, I would want in a booster; a large kid who can sit safely I would not force to cram himself into a booster. To me, common sense is not something that ought to be legislated. Parents should have the freedom to make common-sense decisions on how to keep their kids safe-- such as not forcing a 5'+ tall kid into a booster seat just because he is still only 8 years old. Boosters are kind of overrated; the important thing is to have the child properly secured with a belt in the appropriate configuration. The booster is a tool to achieve that, and when it no longer accomplishes that goal better than simply sitting properly in the seat, it can safely be discarded. All the same, I always told my kids to be polite in other people's cars if they were asked to adhere to any increased safety standard and just tolerate it (or ask the mom to call me if they were unsure of what was going on) or to politely refuse and have me called if they were being asked to decrease our safety standards (so I could come get them). An increased standard would be being asked to use a booster after we had ceased to use one; decreased would obviously be not using a belt or shoulder belt, obviously damaged equipment, riding in the back of a pickup, etc. (all the fun stuff I got to do when I was a kid :D ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 Definitely abide by your state laws. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 any kid that gets hurt while riding in my vehicle - it's MY responsibility. So, whatever mom does in her own car is not my business; in my car, the kids are in proper seats properly used. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jessicalb Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 I'm a wee bit safety crazed after years as an ortho/neuro nurse. So from time to time I worry that I'm too serious about these things. A couple of years after a young mother moved away from out neighborhood she stopped by to say hi. She said I saved her son't life when they were in a snow accident and the car flipped. I looked at her funny and asked how that could be. She then told me the detailed story including the carseat staying in place with him in it. I didn't even remember that I showed her how to use it properly. You never know. The other thing that makes me crazy and I won't do is buckle a couple of kids together. That's awesome. We lost family in a bad accident many years ago. The one survivor was the only person in the car who was restrained - the baby in the carseat. Years later my sister hit someone (not her fault) and their child died. He was sitting in an unbuckled carseat. Carseats matter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxMom Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 (edited) In my car, everyone is properly buckled. In myfriend's car? My kids are properly buckled, she can do what she likes for her own. That. And I'm right there with you. My almost 8yos use their harnesses because they haven't outgrown them. They only use the regular seatbelt (sitting in their boosters) around our tiny town, where the speed limit it 25 throughout. I know someone whose infants rode around in an unsecured "phone book" type booster with an adult seatbelt because "the harnesses bother them". I think the price of proper restraint is what bothered the parents. I was really angry the day we went to do a pickup instead of them, and were stopped twice (once each way) at a carseat checkpoint. WE were fine (because our children's parents are neurotic paramedics - former, in my case), but I wished they had been snagged before something terrible and irreversible might have happened to their children. Edited August 31, 2012 by MyCrazyHouse Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LisaKinVA Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 My car, my rules...my kids their car, I'd make sure the seats were installed properly, and that she knew how to put them in them...then I'd have to trust her to follow through. Being in an accident with someone else's kids would be bad enough, even worse if *I* knew they weren't buckled properly, and something bad happened that was preventable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
somo_chickenlady Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 (edited) In my car, everyone is properly buckled. In myfriend's car? My kids are properly buckled, she can do what she likes for her own. My car, my rules. If they are riding in my car, I am responsible for them, so it is my job to keep them as safe as possible. I used to be a CPST, so I'm a little strict about that kind of stuff, though. The 6 year old would be in a booster (or harness if they still fit), b/c in my car everyone under 4'9" is. DS was in one until he was 9 years old. I would insist on buckling in the carseats myself also. If my child is in her car, I am just as strict b/c it is my child's life. She is free to do whatever she wants to with her own children at that point, though. My child, while still in a booster or carseat, was taught about car safety so he knew to speak up if he was not properly buckled in. Edited August 31, 2012 by somo_chickenlady Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenL Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 Any kids in my car are going to properly secured regardless of who's kids are in the vehicle. If there's an accident or anything, I'm the one responsible and the officer isn't going to care if the kids are mine or not. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mchel210 Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 I know I'm an uptight freaked out person, so tell me how you'd deal with it... or to calm down. Her daughter is 3yrs old. I'm not sure her 6 year old uses a booster still, either... (Multiple Choice Poll) If you are asking for when YOU are driving...I would just make her daughter use the full seat belt on the car seat...no questions asked. I tell my friend flat out the dangers of not properly using the car seat. I have no problem telling her how horrible she would feel if her son flew past her in the car and through the front window. I give her real life examples that my husband as an officer has seen. I think it is terrible she wears a belt but her son is not required to use his proper. Im sure she blows me off...but maybe it will stick one day...I dont say it in a "mean " way...I just say it whenever I see him out of the seat. NOW...if you are speaking of YOUR FRIEND driving your 9 yo...I think if your 9 yo uses his belt properly in your car...you just insist that HE makes that choice to put it on proper regardless of your friends choice. I know MY 9 yo can do that and does do that with her friends that dont use seat belts. She always comments when she comes home and tells me that she tells her friends the same types of stories about seatbelts. (makes me proud Ive ingrained that into her brain:D) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonshineLearner Posted August 31, 2012 Author Share Posted August 31, 2012 If you are asking for when YOU are driving...I would just make her daughter use the full seat belt on the car seat...no questions asked.... Yes, she asked if I wanted to drive to our spot next. I have dreaded the day, because I'm like carseat crazy... and she's not. She'll be the passenger which is why I'm freakin' out. She's already told me that that's how they do carseats, so I'm more comfortable with her driving. My son is already really seatbelt safety conscious... so no worries there :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lab1 Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 As a carseat freak, there is no way I would allow my kids driven without me checking and there is no way I'd allow a child in my car unrestrained. When I transport kids, I always have the parents check that their kid looks good in the seat as well. All my kids are in seats. The girls in hbb, 3 yr old in huge 5 pt seat and nearly 2 yr old rear facing. My kids are properly restrained 100% of the time since birth! I won't drive another kid without them meeting my minimum safety level. The chest clip is designed to position the straps. The child would be better off in a booster then a 5 pt not harnessed. Not that I'd put my 3 yr old in a booster, but in this case it would be better to have something vs nothing! A Graco hbb should be small enough. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lily_Grace Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 I'm responsible if we get into an accident. I'm responsible for making sure my passengers are safe. There is no way I'd ever take a child who wasn't in a proper seat and installed well. Ever. It's just not going to happen. The liability is too great. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigMamaBird Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 I think the extent of child seat belt laws are silly, but I would insist on following those laws in my vehicle regardless. Both children would be fully and lawfully buckled in or not ride in my car. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Runningmom80 Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 In my car, everyone is properly buckled. In myfriend's car? My kids are properly buckled, she can do what she likes for her own. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melmichigan Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 My car, my rules sums it up nicely for me too. My sister thought it was ridiculous that I made my nephew sit in a booster seat when he was in my car, she took him out years earlier, I didn't care. All my kids ride in carseats/boosters until they outgrow all the options, even before they started making some of it law. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 In my own vehicle, I would follow the law, because I have no appetite for cops, fines, or official records. I'd make an exception for a truly exceptional situation (e.g., if nobody expected I'd have to drive a kid and there was no car seat for him/her; I'd put the smallest kids in my kids' boosters and make the best of it.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyof4ks Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 In my car, everyone is properly buckled. In myfriend's car? My kids are properly buckled, she can do what she likes for her own. :iagree: I insist that every child be restrained at least to meet legal requirements, because if something happens to the child I am responsible because the child is in my vehicle. I install carseats for my kids in other people's cars, and until they were old enough to buckle themselves properly I did that too or made sure the other person knew how the carseat worked. My kids usually help other kids buckle up, so even if mom did not do it properly for her kids my kids would likely help them, but I try not to get involved with what others do for their kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amo_mea_filiis. Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 Anytime I have another person's child in my car, i either reroute their carseat straps, or use my own. I have 3 kids that use a seat of mine, and every single time it's used, i adjust and install properly. Since i don't ride with other people (most around here just don't have cars) it's always my rules. I would say something to the mother of the 3 year old, or just fix it myself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amo_mea_filiis. Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 In my own vehicle, I would follow the law, because I have no appetite for cops, fines, or official records. I'd make an exception for a truly exceptional situation (e.g., if nobody expected I'd have to drive a kid and there was no car seat for him/her; I'd put the smallest kids in my kids' boosters and make the best of it.) I had to play musical car seats once and it scared the carp out of me the entire ride! I had an 8 month old who had to be rf, a tiny 5 year old who needed my son's older special harness, and i had to put ds up front with a hb booster. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
higginszoo Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 There were neighbor kids who refused to buckle properly when I offered them rides home ... the first grader refused to sit in a booster (I provided), the fifth grader refused even a seatbelt. I refused to give them any more rides, no matter if it was snowing or whatever. Not a liability I was willing to assume. The mom actually called and yelled at me, but didn't want me to make them sit in the booster or buckle. No rides in my car unless you follow my rules. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xixstar Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 (edited) I don't think I would ride with her as a passenger even if I secured my own kids. I couldn't feel comfortable in a car where the other children were not restrained properly. Edited August 31, 2012 by xixstar Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pamela H in Texas Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 we still only barely managed to keep him backwards for a year-- his knees were up by his ears I am using your post as a jumping off spot. It is not directed at you, but at the reasoning by anyone saying it. I have heard this from lots of people. HOWEVER, there are those of us with 4 year olds rear facing. I've had some BIG toddlers, but none were taller than my 4yo is now and certainly not my 5yo. They *could* sit rear facing, comfortably even (the pics of such have been posted on this board many times) and *would, without a doubt* if they were under 3. THere are those of us with kids well over the 95%tile for height and weight (my oldest daughter was 32 pounds at a year and 47 pounds at 2 years). And though there is SOME difference between children in terms of muscles and bones and joints, it is *still* safer for *any* child to be rear facing (assuming the seat is made for that). Seriously? How safe we have our kids in the car is a choice. It is the choice people are allowed to make to turn their 12month olds (or 18month olds or 36 month olds or...) forward facing. But why not just own it as the choice you (general) made rather than justifying it? I'll be honest. I didn't think about car safety AT ALL as a first time mom with a huge baby. I turned her around early and I took her out of the car seat at all early (I did put her in a booster later when I gained some more information...and then my ds didn't get out of the booster til 11). Just because I did it doesn't mean it was justified or right though. It was simply the choice (imo, poor) that I made. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 I am using your post as a jumping off spot. It is not directed at you, but at the reasoning by anyone saying it. I have heard this from lots of people. HOWEVER, there are those of us with 4 year olds rear facing. I've had some BIG toddlers, but none were taller than my 4yo is now and certainly not my 5yo. They *could* sit rear facing, comfortably even (the pics of such have been posted on this board many times) and *would, without a doubt* if they were under 3. THere are those of us with kids well over the 95%tile for height and weight (my oldest daughter was 32 pounds at a year and 47 pounds at 2 years). And though there is SOME difference between children in terms of muscles and bones and joints, it is *still* safer for *any* child to be rear facing (assuming the seat is made for that). Seriously? How safe we have our kids in the car is a choice. It is the choice people are allowed to make to turn their 12month olds (or 18month olds or 36 month olds or...) forward facing. But why not just own it as the choice you (general) made rather than justifying it? I'll be honest. I didn't think about car safety AT ALL as a first time mom with a huge baby. I turned her around early and I took her out of the car seat at all early (I did put her in a booster later when I gained some more information...and then my ds didn't get out of the booster til 11). Just because I did it doesn't mean it was justified or right though. It was simply the choice (imo, poor) that I made. Evidence on the safety of rear-faced kids in serious accidents is mixed. They are less safe if they are hit from behind, and personally, the only rattling accidents I've ever been in involved being hit from behind. I've never had a head-on or one-car accident (and I've been driving almost 30 years) (knock on wood), probably because I never drink, I don't drive above 55, I rarely pass, don't text while driving, and I know how to drive on ice. There are "stats" that say head-on is the most common type of accident, but that happens to include all the accidents where you get rear-ended by someone else's front end. (And I admit that, long before kids, I rear-ended a couple people when my brakes didn't act as expected, but only at very low speed.) I rear-faced my kids for about 2.5 years because it felt right to me, but I do not like the one-sidedness of the "information" commonly provided on this topic. From my research (admittedly a year or two old), IIRC there has been only 1 death of a front-facing child who was otherwise properly restrained in a head-on collision. If your kid is happy rear-facing and you really believe you're more likely to have a front-end fender-bender than a back-end one, fine. But some parents have good reasons for front-facing their kids ASAP, e.g., car-sickness, screaming, etc., which can make the ride less safe overall. Parents should be given more accurate info so they can weigh the pros and cons objectively. It does not sit well with me when parents are guilted about front-facing their kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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