Renee in NC Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 (edited) We had made the decision that our dc ages 11, 9, 8, and 6 would get off the bus at the end of the driveway, go in the house, and be home alone for the 30-60 minutes until either my dh or the 14yo got home. (You may not agree with that, but that really isn't the point of the post.) I found out last night that our county has a rule that someone 6th grade and up has to be at the bus stop to meet them, or the bus driver will take them back to school. After the third time, social services will be called. It never dawned on me that this would be a policy. Social services would only care because they would get called every week - there really isn't a problem with leaving them for an hour. When we were in FL, we lived off of this long road that had dozens and dozens of neighborhoods on each side, and the bus dropped off on that main road for the kids to walk into their own neighborhoods. There were also kids who walked/biked home. Here, none of that would be allowed, according to the bus website's frequently asked questions. Afterschool care is offered at the school for $185 a month, with a $25 registration fee. We would have to come up with $860 before Monday. I have no neighbors to meet them, and we don't have any friends whose home they could go to for the hour. We're already paying $850 a month for the 3yo. Paying afterschool care in addition to the 3yo's care and fuel back and forth would mean that we are losing money on dh working. He could quit his job, but then we are only slightly better off than we were before! The whole point of all that we have done is to be much better off (and get off of gov't assistance.) It would only be for a year, but that is VERY frustrating! I am going to call the school and see if there is a waiver available since my 11yo *should* be in the 6th grade (which is the youngest the designated person to pick up at the bus stop can be.) Any creative ideas I haven't thought of? Edited August 23, 2012 by Renee in FL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 We had made the decision that our dc ages 11, 9, 8, and 6 would get off the bus at the end of the driveway, go in the house, and be home alone for the 30-60 minutes until either my dh or the 14yo got home. (You may not agree with that, but that really isn't the point of the post.) I found out last night that our county has a rule that someone 6th grade and up has to be at the bus stop to meet them, or the bus driver will take them back to school. After the third time, social services will be called. ?? What is there to think through? The fairness? What you need to do? I'm confused. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MollyAnn Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 Isn't 11 the usual age of 6th grade? Would he/she be getting off the bus at the same time as the younger kids? If yes, wouldn't that cancel the need for there to be someone waiting? There has to be some way around that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renee in NC Posted August 23, 2012 Author Share Posted August 23, 2012 (edited) ?? What is there to think through? The fairness? What you need to do? I'm confused. What can I do that doesn't involve paying $760 a month for afterschool care for the hour we would need care? You guys are usually good at coming up with ideas. ETA: I am guessing you read this before I finished it. My computer went all crazy and posted before I was ready. Edited August 23, 2012 by Renee in FL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renee in NC Posted August 23, 2012 Author Share Posted August 23, 2012 Isn't 11 the usual age of 6th grade? Would he/she be getting off the bus at the same time as the younger kids? If yes, wouldn't that cancel the need for there to be someone waiting? There has to be some way around that. Exactly. He should be a 6th grader, but was held back. If he were in his correct grade, then it wouldn't be an issue (except that his bus may come after theirs, which would have us paying for afterschool care even longer.) I have to ask the school, but the bus website is specific that it is by grade, not age. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Osmosis Mom Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 Can you do afterschool care at the school or a Boys and Girls Club? Might not cost a lot. Or have a neighbour check them off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StephanieF Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 I would imagine age is the criteria as it theoretically could be possible for a younger child to be in 6th grade. I would therefore ask about the policy with respect to age and not mention grade. Stephanie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renee in NC Posted August 23, 2012 Author Share Posted August 23, 2012 Can you do afterschool care at the school or a Boys and Girls Club? Might not cost a lot. Or have a neighbour check them off. There is not a Boys/Girls club here - our only option is the YMCA afterschool care at the school. I don't have a neighbor that could get them off the bus. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MollyAnn Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 I don't understand how they can require this. Does your county/city have a law that says kids under a certain age can't be home alone? Because North Carolina law says age 8. http://www.latchkey-kids.com/latchkey-kids-age-limits.htm If its not a law, only policy, they can't enforce it. That still leaves you with the 6yo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renee in NC Posted August 23, 2012 Author Share Posted August 23, 2012 (edited) I would imagine age is the criteria as it theoretically could be possible for a younger child to be in 6th grade. I would therefore ask about the policy with respect to age and not mention grade.Stephanie The bus driver would know, because he would be getting off of the elementary bus with them. Hopefully I am just reading this wrong, and the school will clarify. Edited August 23, 2012 by Renee in FL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renee in NC Posted August 23, 2012 Author Share Posted August 23, 2012 I don't understand how they can require this. Does your county/city have a law that says kids under a certain age can't be home alone? Because North Carolina law says age 8. http://www.latchkey-kids.com/latchkey-kids-age-limits.htmIf its not a law, only policy, they can't enforce it. That still leaves you with the 6yo. They will take them back to school - they don't have to let them off of the bus. Social services would have NO problem with it, except that school would be calling once a week! And the 6yo wouldn't matter, either, because you just can't leave them *alone* in a house - the other kids would count as not being alone (my social worker friend and I have discussed this.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
merry gardens Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 We had made the decision that our dc ages 11, 9, 8, and 6 would get off the bus at the end of the driveway, go in the house, and be home alone for the 30-60 minutes until either my dh or the 14yo got home. (You may not agree with that, but that really isn't the point of the post.) I found out last night that our county has a rule that someone 6th grade and up has to be at the bus stop to meet them, or the bus driver will take them back to school. ...I am going to call the school and see if there is a waiver available since my 11yo *should* be in the 6th grade (which is the youngest the designated person to pick up at the bus stop can be.) Any creative ideas I haven't thought of? If they are going to have a rule like that, the bus should schedule the older children home before the younger children. I would hope that someone reasonable would work with your family. If the school won't, I'd contact the county and whatever (or whomever) designed that rule to explain your family's situation. If they still won't work with you, I'd see if the kids can walk home and if it takes 30-60 minutes to walk home, someone will be there when they get home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Kate Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 Ugh! What a pain. I have no advice, other than calling the school for further clarification. I'm sorry you're dealing with this though. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
merry gardens Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 ...Any creative ideas I haven't thought of? Can you get to know the parent/meeter of a child at the stop that's right before your home? Maybe they can get off the bus and walk from there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 They will take them back to school - they don't have to let them off of the bus. Social services would have NO problem with it, except that school would be calling once a week! What do you mean by this? Social services would have no problem with your children getting off the bus without someone to meet them? Their only problem will be if they get called by the school? So, it sounds like two government agencies (social services and public school bus system) have opposing policies? Social service = OK with kids getting off bus without someone to meet them School/bus co = not OK with kids getting off bus without someone to meet them Can you get someone in social services to tell the school/bus company that their requirement is not backed up by law? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deacongirl Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 I feel your pain. My 5 yr. old can't get off the bus if I am not there and we live directly across the street from the bus stop. In a quiet neighborhood on a cul-de-sac. She doesn't even have to set foot on the main street. Everyone in my neighborhood when I was a kid walked to school after the first day of kindergarten. It seems like they need to have flexibility esp. for situations like yours. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 What do you mean by this? Social services would have no problem with your children getting off the bus without someone to meet them? Their only problem will be if they get called by the school? So, it sounds like two government agencies (social services and public school bus system) have opposing policies? Social service = OK with kids getting off bus without someone to meet them School/bus co = not OK with kids getting off bus without someone to meet them Can you get someone in social services to tell the school/bus company that their requirement is not backed up by law? :iagree: Contact social services. Are they even aware that this policy exists. If they don't want the extra harassment of being called every time mom gets hung up at school bus pick up time they should tell the school to knock it off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 Can you ask around and clarify if this is a strong policy that is always followed, or more of a tool that the bus driver uses at his discretion? I really can't imagine that every kid in the county has someone meeting them at the bus stop?? Or even that the bus driver knows exactly who is and who isn't in 6th grade. I almost hesitate to say speak directly with the driver or school, b/c why draw it to his attention if he would simply drop them off otherwise . . . Did you just happen to read this, or did they ask you who would be meeting them? Can y'all switch off getting home early enough for a few days to kind of scope out the situation? Maybe even just the first day, and tell the driver that you wanted to meet the bus the first day, but that oldest son is old enough to do it on his own from then on. I would even consider being close by on the first day, but not visible (perhaps in a car), and if the bus driver says something, ds can point you out. If he doesn't, then you're probably good to go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 I forgot to say that it's a weird policy, b/c surely they have kids under 6th grade who walk home by themselves?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MiniBlondes Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 Renee, you may have already answered this. I haven't read the whole thread. I live in Guilford County, NC. We're kinda sorta neighbors by a few counties. Anyway... the elementary schools here have a program called ACES after school. I'm not sure what the acronym stands for but it's my understanding that each parent pays $10/semester/kid and they can stay after school. I think they even have a bus? I hope you are able to get it all sorted out. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 Would your DH be able to adjust his hours so he could get home an hour earlier? It's only for a year, until your 11yo is officially in sixth grade. Or, even though you're no longer homeschooling, is there a local homeschool group that has a teen or two who could come over for the hour? Sounds like a ridiculous rule. I hope you can find a reasonable solution! How annoying that the high school doesn't get out before the younger kids! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 Can you hire a neighbor or teen to meet the bus and keep an eye on the kids for that 30-60 minutes? I bet you could pay $5-8 a day for that short time frame, so still paying out money but more like $100-160 a month. What is your plan for early dismissel days and non school days? I know out here the first wednesday of every month is early dismissal and at least 1 day a month is off due to holiday or teacher inservice etc. Do you have a person lined up to watch them on those days since it is more than an hour? Could that person meet the bus daily for you? My first option would be to ask a neighbor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cera Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 Could you hire someone to meet them at the bus every day? It sounds like you wouldn't even need care, just someone to stand there for 5-10 minutes so that the bus driver will let them get off the bus. I would bet you could find someone on sittercity or care.com that would be able to do it for $10 a day ($200 a month wouldn't be too bad). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommyto4 Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 Try to hire someone to meet them and watch them for an hour. I did this for my neighbour when I was 12. I would meet her two kids at the bus, walk them home and hang out for a little while. I would get $25 a week. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elfgivas Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 (edited) sometimes there are rules because it gives the organization a legitimate way to deal with a real problem. those rules don't get enforced until there is a problem that they could be a solution for. other rules sstart like that and get implemented all the time. fwiw, i'd start with the secretary at the school. i'd go in and talk to her. if it is an enforced rule then maybe you could a) hire a high school student to meet them (from your stop or the one before or after b) hire a senior to meet them. either option would be cheaper than after school care for all of them. hth, ann Edited August 23, 2012 by elfgivas@yahoo.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest submarines Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 I wouldn't talk to the bus driver dirctly. Talk to the higher ups. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plansrme Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 I would not bring it up and just see if the bus driver notices. Then I would lie. Yes, I would lie if it would help. Say that someone (an elderly grandmother, perhaps, who doesn't walk to the end of the driveway) is in the house waiting on them. So shoot me. Terri Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
athena1277 Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 Have you seen this a a written rule? This thread has bugged me to the point that I called my mom who works in the transportation office for a school district in LA (she makes bus routes, ets). I asked her what the policy there was. She said for regular elementary kids who ride the regular bus, no one is required to be at the stop to pick up kids. Only kids who ride the special ed (little) buses have to have an adult/teen to meet the bus. Could you anonymously call the school and/or transportation office and ask what the policy for elementary kids is? Also, the bus driver is going to be on a schedule. He/she is not going to want to be taking kids back to school because that will mess up their other runs and they will have parents/schools upset because other kids get home late. Unless there is a hard, fast rule, the bus driver will probably be fine with just dropping them off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renee in NC Posted August 23, 2012 Author Share Posted August 23, 2012 On my phone so short answers. School says may be able to get a waiver from trans dept - waiting to hear back. Afterschool care at the scbool is $760in a month for the 4 ofor them. Hiring someone to come to house would be about same. High school gets out 30 minutes later. It is 8a miles to school, so they can't walk - no one allowed to anyway. Sorry for typos. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renee in NC Posted August 23, 2012 Author Share Posted August 23, 2012 Have you seen this a a written rule? This thread has bugged me to the point that I called my mom who works in the transportation office for a school district in LA (she makes bus routes, ets). I asked her what the policy there was. She said for regular elementary kids who ride the regular bus, no one is required to be at the stop to pick up kids. Only kids who ride the special ed (little) buses have to have an adult/teen to meet the bus. Could you anonymously call the school and/or transportation office and ask what the policy for elementary kids is? Also, the bus driver is going to be on a schedule. He/she is not going to want to be taking kids back to school because that will mess up their other runs and they will have parents/schools upset because other kids get home late. Unless there is a hard, fast rule, the bus driver will probably be fine with just dropping them off. Yes it is written policy verified by school and trans dept. We are not in Durham anymore...not tbe policy there! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MiniBlondes Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 Yuck. I hope you get this all figured out!! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MomatHWTK Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 No chance for early dismissal of the high schooler? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renee in NC Posted August 24, 2012 Author Share Posted August 24, 2012 I just got back from the school, where the policy was posted in BOLD LETTERS in several places. I did talk to the bus driver, though, and she encouraged me to call the Trans Director directly and talk to him. We may get a waiver based on the fact that my 11yo is supposed to be a 6th grader, and that my high schooler will be home shortly thereafter. Otherwise, they will go to the afterschool program and we will have to pay the $760 a month (unless we get a group rate!:tongue_smilie:) I don't know how we would do that, but I guess we would have to get it worked out. It would only be for this year, because the middle school and elementary kids ride the same bus (and I'll have one in 6th next year.) Having to pay for afterschool care will seriously affect our financial climb!:glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 I hope you're able to work things out with the transportation director, Renee! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathmom Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 ugh, so sorry! I asked about after school care at our new school and you can buy 10 afternoons a month for $96 a child! If you don't use them, you lose them. Wow. No after school care here! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted August 25, 2012 Share Posted August 25, 2012 I just got back from the school, where the policy was posted in BOLD LETTERS in several places. That is just so weird to me! It's really hard to believe they are no 10-yr-old latchkey kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted August 25, 2012 Share Posted August 25, 2012 Around here you can get a scholarship for afterschool care. Are you on reduced lunch? That could help. Honestly, tho, I'd just call the nearest homeschool group, put the word out, and find a young teen who can sit for 30 minutes. I'd pay 25 a week, that's it. Maybe there is a teen at your church who is earning $ toward a mission trip? You could offer the above. That's $10 an hour, so not too shabby. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renee in NC Posted August 25, 2012 Author Share Posted August 25, 2012 We did get the waiver!!!:party: The Trans Director said that since he should be in 6th grade, he would count him as a 6th grader for bus purposes.:D Now, to deal with my high schooler's new bus issues, which involves his getting home at 6 pm!!!!!!:001_huh: He also has schedule issues, which has my average 9th grader being put in a 10th grade Honors course, and he has NO 3rd period class. The teacher of the 10th grade honors course is disgusted with the school because she has 4 9th graders in her class (and the pre-req is Biology, which none have had.) The lack of a 3rd period class might not be a big deal in a regular high school, but this one is on the block schedule, so no 3rd period means almost 2 hours of nothing to do.:confused: Sheesh. Sometimes I think they want you to give up in frustration and homeschool!:lol::tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renee in NC Posted August 25, 2012 Author Share Posted August 25, 2012 Around here you can get a scholarship for afterschool care. Are you on reduced lunch? That could help. Honestly, tho, I'd just call the nearest homeschool group, put the word out, and find a young teen who can sit for 30 minutes. I'd pay 25 a week, that's it. Maybe there is a teen at your church who is earning $ toward a mission trip? You could offer the above. That's $10 an hour, so not too shabby. I wanted to answer this, even though we have it figured out, so everyone knows what other parents are facing. Child care subsidy has a very long waiting list. The YMCA was willing to work with us, but that was because of the 4 kids. As for a babysitter, we are 7 miles from the nearest town, which has no homeschool group. Our church is every further away. There is no way I could get someone to drive here, get the kids off of the bus, and drive home for $25 a week. As it is, I am still going to have to pay someone to drive out of their way to bring my highschooler home (in order to avoid the 6pm arrival time.) Hopefully I can find someone who lives within 5 miles or so from here that is already bringing a highschooler home. There are NO other kids out this way. We actually had to tell the bus driver where we lived and get her to add it to her route because the existing route was 2 miles away at the closest point. Our county is HUGE and has a lot of sparsely populated areas (and then densely populated areas like a subdivision that will have a higher population than our county seat when it is done.:confused:) We live way out here because this is what we could afford in a decent elementary school zone. I feel bad for the parents who have no alternatives. In neighborhoods it is easy because the parent can designate a neighbor to pick up their child. Out here in the boonies, it gets more difficult. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted August 25, 2012 Share Posted August 25, 2012 We did get the waiver!!!:party: The Trans Director said that since he should be in 6th grade, he would count him as a 6th grader for bus purposes.:D Now, to deal with my high schooler's new bus issues, which involves his getting home at 6 pm!!!!!!:001_huh: He also has schedule issues, which has my average 9th grader being put in a 10th grade Honors course, and he has NO 3rd period class. The teacher of the 10th grade honors course is disgusted with the school because she has 4 9th graders in her class (and the pre-req is Biology, which none have had.) The lack of a 3rd period class might not be a big deal in a regular high school, but this one is on the block schedule, so no 3rd period means almost 2 hours of nothing to do.:confused: Sheesh. Sometimes I think they want you to give up in frustration and homeschool!:lol::tongue_smilie: Great news!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted August 25, 2012 Share Posted August 25, 2012 You know, I appreciate your response. My mil lives in Murphy, NC, and we were just there--I can totally see your point. There's so little around her! We have a house in the NNeck of VA, too, and it's the same there. We were just commenting about how different it would be to live in a rural area full-time and go to school where the bus has to take kids really far, or there aren't a lot of neighbors. I was just thinking, this week, about how I've been giving advice lately that just.won't.work if someone is in a different situation than I am, be it living rurally or with more kids or whatever. Thanks for reminding me that I need to consider others more carefully before giving thoughts. And I'm so glad it worked out for you!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renee in NC Posted August 25, 2012 Author Share Posted August 25, 2012 In the event that your 11 is sick, consider that even though the high school gets out later, the way the bus routes are done may mean that a high schooler could get to your house earlier than the elementary bus, should you need a carless high schooler to be the backup. Do plan for a backup, because things happen. If the 11yo is sick, he would still be home, though, and could get them off of the bus (or someone else would be there.) I posted a little ways up that the high school bus will not be here until 6pm.:001_huh: At this point, we really don't have a Plan B, but we will work on one (it would probably be that one of us would come home early.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted August 25, 2012 Share Posted August 25, 2012 I am glad things are working out. Why not have your high schooler wait at the school and you or dh could pick him up on the way home? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathmom Posted August 25, 2012 Share Posted August 25, 2012 If you are really stuck sometime, I could probably be there to see them off the bus. I think they get home later than I have to pick anybody up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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