Has anyone else had to pull the plug on extra activities?

[MMinMN]

I know many others have had to do this too, but I just feel awful. I had to tell my boys that we can not afford for them to continue in Jui-Jitsu.

 

The end of their 6 month contract is in August. They've advanced as far as green belt, and had high hopes to continue on through the ranks.

 

But...the price for instruction has more than doubled (from just over $900 to $2100), and each time we make a trip to town and back it costs us another $10.00 in gas.

 

I've cried and apologized. Not much else I can do I guess.

 

Sorry to whine...thanks.

[nakitty]

well...we try to avoid getting involved in things anyhow...no team sports or lessons....eventually that may change but it's how it's been up to now....I just prefer it that way, I guess. But, we HAVE had to cut back on our driving, A LOT! We usually like to take weekend trips...but we simply cannot afford the gas. It is more than double what we paid last year...that is a HUGE deal for us...*sigh* That's life...I suppose.

[Snickerdoodle]

Is that 2100 per year per kid?

 

:svengo:

[Melissa in Australia]

we are debating whether to continue with basketball, it is a $8 fuel trip to each game. pluss the court fees of $5. 4 kids in 3 different teams, each team plays on a different night, plus training.... over $50 per week.

[G5052]

There's never been enough time and finances. I was very involved in music and scouts all through my growing-up years, and we've never been able to do music lessons or scouts. I also tried a lot of different sports, and that's hasn't been an option at all. It doesn't look like that will ever change, and it does grieve me.

 

We do Aikido twice a week year-round (relatively inexpensive and 10 miles away), and co-op once a week for 24 weeks (15 miles away). That's it, other than church on Sundays. I know folks who do no sports and no co-op though, so I do feel blessed.

[elegantlion]

We've never had enough money to do the extras. We try to do one seasonal activity a year, but he isn't thrilled with any of the choices we have here. We did discover going to the driving range as a family. $10.00 for all three of us, we already have clubs.

 

:grouphug: I know we hate to disappoint our children.

[Andie]

I know many others have had to do this too, but I just feel awful. I had to tell my boys that we can not afford for them to continue in Jui-Jitsu.

 

The end of their 6 month contract is in August. They've advanced as far as green belt, and had high hopes to continue on through the ranks.

 

But...the price for instruction has more than doubled (from just over $900 to $2100), and each time we make a trip to town and back it costs us another $10.00 in gas.

 

I've cried and apologized. Not much else I can do I guess.

 

Sorry to whine...thanks.

 

How did they take it? Sometimes, it's worse for Mom, I think. :grouphug: It's hard!

 

Is there another program, maybe through a Y or parks program that would be less expensive or closer to home?

[CalicoKat]

Yup, no more gymnastics

 

After our move it's no longer just a 5 min. drive., it's more like 45 min. The sport was enjoyable for the kids but none were motivated toward competition. I haven't really told them they're not going to do it this year yet. The end of year "show" was a couple months back and it put a "period" on that chapter in our lives. Maybe I'm just copping out of having to tell them it's done, but neither has asked when they start again.

 

I do feel badly.

[Deeke]

We're stopping all extra night and weekend activities not for monitary reasons, we're just slowing down big time. We were running here and there just about every night of the week, sometimes two places a night. Sure my kids were enjoying their activities and there was some value to them, but I was finding they were just going, doing their thing and leaving, not making any lasting relationahips with these kids. We were not doing as many home school events and activies as we were so busy.

 

This coming fall we're not signing up for anything, except one sport each, and non-competative. A good book to read(helped me not feel too guilty) was Under Pressure: Rescuing Our Children from the Culture of Hyper-Parenting.

[JudoMom]

How did they take it? Sometimes, it's worse for Mom, I think. :grouphug: It's hard!

 

Is there another program, maybe through a Y or parks program that would be less expensive or closer to home?

 

I agree. Our Y offers Judo and I think they offer Karate as well. Judo is similar to Ju-jistu, except it focuses more on the throwing that the grappling.

[michaeljenn]

Yes, we are having to cut down too. My daughter is the one being hit the most. She takes voice, piano, guitar, ballet and art lessons. Well, just that alone is $300! Then my son takes guitar, and my other daughter takes violin, art lessons and ballet. I have my 4yo coming up and wanting to take voice and dance. We added all this up and it was well up to $1000. I think I am having the hardest time though, because this is my social time. SIGH... But, it has become stressful getting everyone in and out of the car. It has also affected our school work. AND.... I am filling up our suburban about every 10 days and it is costing us $110!!

 

There are days that I dream of living in the country that is tooooo far to do any stinking activities and the children don't want to because they are happily playing in the yard and exploring their surroundings. And we would have a garden, chickens for eggs and a cow for milk....:lol::lol: Oh.... the simple life, well I don't know how simple it would be!! ;)

[6packofun]

No sports or paid activities for our kids this summer. I don't mind at all, but the kids are really bummed and I don't blame them. :001_unsure: We're all making sacrifices and hope that next summer will be different!

 

I'm trying to take them once a week (or less) to a nice playground or to swim at the Y (indoor pool, though) where we have a membership (but classes are extra). Oh well.

[Athena]

DH lost his job in the mortgage collapse. He has a new one and we are making it but we don't have much extra money. Gas is a big consideration.

 

My oldest was disappointed that he couldn't continue baseball. He still mentions it every once & again. I feel horrible not being able to afford lessons. But you know, he isn't going to die. I made sure we are involved in hs group that is active (no neighborhood kids to play with here), he gets sports equipment for bdays and we play together often.

 

I also try to talk openly with the kids about finances & the choices we make for our family. Xavier & Marie have started asking why they can't each have a Nintendo DS like their friends have.

And on it goes....

 

:grouphug:

 

Blessings,

Christy

[Erica in PA]

I'm so sorry. I can imagine how that must feel, and we may soon need to do something similar with our children. They take gymnastics, and absolutely *love* it, and it's possible that in the next few months we'll have to discontinue that due to finances. I do think that it can be even harder on the mom than on the kids in these kinds of situations. My kids would be disappointed, but they would bounce back. I think I would feel sick about it for months. We want to be able to give our kids everything good, and when we can't simply because of $$$, man, does that sting!!

 

Is there another less expensive activity that you could get your kids into, that they would enjoy? For even that initial $900 per year that you were spending, you would have a lot of options. My kids' gymnastics are $90 per month for all three children, no additional fees. And we only do it during the school year, so total that's....$810 per year..... Wow, I didn't realize how much that added up!! No wonder we can't afford it. :tongue_smilie:

 

Anyway, just wanted to let you know that I feel your pain!

 

Erica

[LMA]

We do swimming lessons year round, ice skating (year round) and one morning I take three of the kids to speech therapy. Ice skating is about 45 minutes away due to the fact that the teacher can only give private (non-freestyle) lessons at one rink. Swimming isn't too far. However, I am thinking of dropping skating because of cost and distance.

[Quiver0f10]

We have definitely cut back on things here too and I try to go out only 2-3 days a week if I can. We can't afford the cost of extra activities either. I know my kids would love karate, art and music lessons, dance and voice etc. There is just no way right now.

[Mandy in TN]

We are very fortunate to be part of an enrichment/ tutorial that offers lots of extras. We go one day/ wk. I help out at the tutorial so that I don't have to drive 19mi back to the house and then back to the tutorial. I make enough money to pay for the gas and for the boys to buy their lunch.

 

The teens try to get together with their friends once/ wk. However, I think there needs to be a 10mi rule and this year the teens need to help with gas money. Is that horrible?

 

This year I am going to try to get the little guy together with friends once/ wk.

 

I think that this will have to be it.

Mandy

[newbie]

Yes, we have cut all extracurricular. No more piano, singing or art. They keep asking, and its so hard to say no.

 

It breaks my heart. I have set up a little art studio, so they can do it whenever there heart desires.And my sis bought them a karaoke machine.

 

Nothing else to do.

 

Jet

[MMinMN]

Thanks for taking the time to respond.

 

It always helps to get some perspective from others.

[Scarlett]

I think kids are way overscheduled anyway. Even hs'lers. My neighbors 2 kids go to 8 activities between the two of them---not counting church! Crazy. I have my ds in swim and piano and that is a stretch for me---mostly time wise, but sure if I tried to add more it would get crazy moneywise. And I am pretty sure if I had more than one child, I would have to limit them to one activity each and consolidate those if at all possible.

 

Repeat this 10 times: Just because a kid loves something does not mean it is required OR EVEN that it is good for them.

 

That's all. :)

[camibami]

I had to get a part time job to afford extra-curriculars when we moved to an expensive area 2 years ago.

 

We just could no longer afford violin and gymnastics- the prices more than doubled in the new area! As it is, we dropped violin and they do one sport each, only- swimming and rhythmic gymnastics. I *hate* that we cannot do art lessons and all the fancy language lessons, etc available here in the DC area, but we can afford only one activity, and even for that I need to work part time to pay for it. I just spent $80 for a competition rhythmic ball for my youngest, and practice fees alone (not meets, leos, equipment, etc) are $230 a month. PiedPiper's swim team is $1000+ plus meets and equipment for the school year, and then summer swim is extra.

 

Its the thing I feel worst about- we meet so many children atswimming. gymnastics who go to $17,000 private schools, take Russian and Chinese at academies, takevoice, ballet and music lessons, go to horse camp for 3 weeks...and we are struggling just to provide one sport each. I truly feel like a crappy parent for being unable to provide them with these opportunities, Iguess its the area we live in.

 

Anyway, sorry to make this about "me", LOL, I just wanted you to know I feel your pain!

[Scarlett]

Its the thing I feel worst about- we meet so many children atswimming. gymnastics who go to $17,000 private schools, take Russian and Chinese at academies, takevoice, ballet and music lessons, go to horse camp for 3 weeks...and we are struggling just to provide one sport each. I truly feel like a crappy parent for being unable to provide them with these opportunities, Iguess its the area we live in.

 

Anyway, sorry to make this about "me", LOL, I just wanted you to know I feel your pain!

 

Oh! This makes me so sad for you! Stop it ok? Stop beating yourself up for not competing with rich (or in debt) people. Our life does not result from the things we possess. (or the lessons we take)

[teamturner]

I don't know what their ages are but perhaps it's something you could resume in another year or two if things get better? We have a very affordable martial arts option through my city's parks and recreation centers and it's a homeschool class. It is a great program as well. Although my boys have only done it for a year, I think we are a little over scheduled so we will be dropping it for the fall.

[KAR120C]

I do want DS to be active, so I didn't want to cut out everything, but we're switching to different activities this year... ones that cost less, ones that are easy to get to on the city bus... Fortunately this is all in line with what he's requested so I didn't have to refuse anything.

 

Last year he did tap dance at $50/month (eek) and swimming at about $30/month, and this year he's doing rock climbing at about $10/month (Parks & Rec) and I think also swimming (not classes, just open pool) for about another $10. Our homeschool group is making some arrangements with the YMCA too, which could change those plans... but only if they're within the bus/low cost idea.

 

We're still doing flute and an outside science class -- those have been consistently worth the money, and I think I've managed to combine them into one outing, so we are cutting back on all the gas. Just about everything else we do is free/ co-op, and on the bus lines.

[Starr]

We've stopped activities in the past for various reasons. The kids seem to adjust quite quickly. But...who thought it would come to trying to afford to heat the house!

[Lizzie in Ma]

Our rule from day 1 was one activity per child. We have never had much in discretionary funds. Karate got more and more expensive and we finally dropped it even though dd was so very close to her junior black belt. Little one takes gymnastics during the school year, only once a week and only $44/month. She also knows it is cash dependent.

Much as I longed for lessons like piano and art and all those enrichment things, we are unable to do so. It is hard for me at times because I want so much to nurture skills I know they have. I save my pennies and try to buy video curriculum like Atelier art and Jean Welles Worship Guitar and teach myself to teach the children. So they get the basics I hope.

 

Epilogue:

And then one day, a new family came to our church. And after a few months, this amazing woman offered vocal and music training for both our dc free of charge because she "didn't want their talents to go to waste".

Answered prayer.

[EarleneW]

It is amazing how expensive everything has gotten.

My dd does competitve cheerleading and is really good. I wish she wasn't b/c it is SO expensive. We pay $305/month not counting any extras like uniforms ($240), practice clothes, out of town etc. I would love to pull her but I just can't. The 2 older ones just finished swim team which was only $75/each for 8 weeks though and was great excercise.

The 2 boys will play baseball in the fall which I *think* is around $125/kid. Not to mention gas to get to everything.

I would love to do piano, art, etc.. too, but it is all just so expensive.

[bettyandbob]

it was very expensive and she wanted to do everything. My sons only do one activity each. Older ds never wanted to do anything--we had to push him to try stuff. Finally, last year he asked for music lessons, really likes them and is sticking with them. Younger ds is developmentally delayed, he does whatever mommy and daddy decides he needs. Swimming has been great for him so that is his activity.

 

Dd, though, has done a huge range of activities, for several years. I think I encouraged it because I was never encouraged to do organized sports or dance, etc. The message was that it was a lot of trouble to get me to practice. I did play soccer 2 seasons, but it was clear it was a lot trouble. So, I wanted to do more for my dc (this desire is usually how I get in trouble). But dd really pushed the limit. So, this year I told her to pick one. She picked ballet, which is at a studio about 1.5 miles from my house.

 

Now, each of my dc are in 1 activity. These activities are close to home (music lessons are furthest and I can coordinate that trip with grocery shopping next door). The money (fees and gas) and time crunch is reduced. I felt significant relief when dd was able to choose.

 

If you are in a suburban or urban area you may be able to access activities at reduced cost. I know all the sports leagues in my area have scholarship programs. The recreation center and the YMCA both have reduced fees for need. The annual joiner fee for boy scouts and girl scouts is low, but they also have scholarships. I work at the Y so that further reduces my ds's swim lesson cost.

[mcconnellboys]

I'm sorry! Can they continue to practice with each other at home? Are there any tapes you could rent that would also allow them to continue to do some related things?

 

I will be cutting back and consolidating things closer to home for this upcoming school year, myself. And if prices continue to go up, sooner or later we'll all be cutting back even more, I'm afraid!

 

I commisserate with you!

[Andie]

Ds wants to play football, but the time and $ commitment is *hUH-UUGe* and we're not sure how committed he will be. Anyway, we've compromised and he'll be attending two football camps - one this summer, one in the fall. It's significantly cheaper, and he'll get a chance to feel out the sport and we'll see if he still wants to play next fall.

 

So, maybe camps would be a good alternative? Some are awfully expensive, but many are surprisingly affordable, especially through parks and rec programs or local civic organizations or schools. Perhaps through a trial during a camp they could find a less expensive/closer to home activity to continue (or not, and just look forward to next year's camp).

[HSMom2One]

We did a Quicken report the other day and learned that our gas consumption has more than doubled just since JANUARY. Since dh has a long commute to work each day and we live 11 miles from town we were already cutting back on trips. Now we are even more concerned because they say the gas prices will continue to go up.

 

The extra cost keeps us from registering dd in community rec classes. It's not just the registration fees, but also the back and forth to classes. We don't go into town unless necessary and even then we try to piggy back with multiple errands, dd's play dates with friends, going to church, etc. We've also been playing more games for enjoyment at home and finding things to do for fun either at home or in our immediate area.

 

I think this has opened our eyes to how spoiled we've been with living our lives in America.

 

Blessings,

Lucinda

[sandellie4]

It is kind of sad. We've never been able to do much extracurricular because insurance doesn't cover any of the therapies our children need. One of the hopes that I had when homeschooling was that we could provide more enrichment for the children. I reasoned that if I didn't have to fight with the school so much, we would have so much extra time and energy (I had gotten wicked depressed trying to work with the school system). But it didn't really work out that way, because I figured out all of the therapies our kids needed (speech, etc.) because I got to know them so much better. It is disappointing when they ask why they don't have activities and things that other families have, but there's nothing I can really do except tell them that I'm sorry. The truth is, it feels like all we do is work, go to bed, get up the next morning and work. Then we pay taxes and health costs and realize how far behind we are, and work some more. But the children are happy for the most part and at least we're a family, all working together. Sandy

[kortney in AL]

We've taken one son out of baseball, our daughter out of soccer, another son out of soccer, and our two oldest out of band for this school year. Gas prices were one reason, but the other was I was losing my sanity with so much running. (We already do alot of activities and classes with our homeschool group). So many of my school days last year were constantly interrupted by having to get somewhere. I just needed more time at home, to actually homeschool, not van school!!

[Tracey in TX]

I know many others have had to do this too, but I just feel awful. I had to tell my boys that we can not afford for them to continue in Jui-Jitsu.

 

The end of their 6 month contract is in August. They've advanced as far as green belt, and had high hopes to continue on through the ranks.

 

But...the price for instruction has more than doubled (from just over $900 to $2100), and each time we make a trip to town and back it costs us another $10.00 in gas.

 

I've cried and apologized. Not much else I can do I guess.

 

Sorry to whine...thanks.

 

I'm so sorry that you're feeling badly about the jui-jitsu. That stinks prices have risen that much. How do the boys feel about the absence of their sport? Do they seem to care?

As I was reading your post, I wondered if you could request a lower belt instructor to work with your boys alone? Maybe work out a tuition (at home?!) for the original price? Many people like giving private lessons for the experience, and your boys could continue working towards a long range goal.

After 9/11 our gymnastics studio almost closed. The coach said discretionary spending is the first to go with a recession. Kids' sports are discretionary, whether or not we desire them to participate. It's true. We know that if DH lost his job, we would have to pull the girls from gymnastics and DSs would finish out their yearly soccer and have to get a scholarship or not play. It would break my heart, but kids are more resilient than we, as moms, are. Hugs to you!:grouphug:

[mazakaal]

You're not alone. We've never been able to afford many outside activities. This past year we had to cancel swimming and ballet, the only things dc did. Hopefully this coming year will be different.

[hsmamainva]

My 17 year old and 8 year old take Tae Kwon Do lessons. They meet for 2 hours, 3 nights a week, and it's $60 per month for each of them. They've both reached an advanced belt level (she's a red belt; and he's a blue belt), so we don't want them to give it up...so we no longer eat out, or go to the movies, etc. By just giving up those spur-of-the moment, "Let's grab a burger and fries", we've been able to afford for them to continue to attend the TKD classes. (It's also only 15 minutes from our house, so the gas isn't too much of a burden)

 

My 14 year old son plays basketball and baseball with the county, and that's extremely affordable! (I want to say it's around $30 per season, per sport). I would check your local parks & rec and see if they have some sort of martial arts class.

 

A year ago, we were taking our youngest (who has autism) to private speech and occupational therapy, an hour's drive from our house, and we've had to stop that as we just can't afford it. She now receives speech and occupational therapy free from the public school system and I only need to drive her as far as the local elementary school a few times a week.