Waking Up and Being On Time?

[fourcatmom]

My kids are not early risers, they love to wake up at their own time and it can often take them hours before they are ready to greet the day, and then it's afternoon.

 

We start school in a week. I have a schedule ready but we are going to need to start around 8am and we will finish up around 2:30 or 3:00 M-Th. Fridays will be different but still require the same start time. Last year my kids got away with too much and the leisurely schedule did not work well. I am concerned about the early morning though and how I can motivate them to be up and ready to start the day with at least a do-able attitude.

 

They both love their computer time and I am thinking if they are not up in time to start school, then no afternoon computer privledges for that day. I also think it's going to be too easy to say, "I don't need the computer today, I would rather sleep in." If they were going to PS that would not be acceptable so I don't want it to be at home either.

 

I have also thought about getting them each their own alarm clock. I really hate being the nagging mom in the morning and it starts us all off on a bad foot.

 

How do you handle the early morning if your kids are late risers? With fall sports we really have to be done at a certain time so starting later and finishing later really isn't an option.

 

Motivation? Consequences? We have to be out of the house by 9am today and they are both moaning and lagging, big time! I know they are on summer schedule too but we need to start transitioning now. I know in the fall and winter when it's cold and raining, it's really nice to stay in bed longer so I know these issues are coming!

 

ETA: Once they are up and really awake, they have great attitudes but that first hour is rough!

 

Thanks!

Edited August 6, 2012 by fourcatmom

[TraciWA]

:bigear: Would love soluions to this as well. My kids have their own alarms but %99.999999 of the time sleep through them and it takes me mutiple times and frustration to get them up.

I would like my day to be over at a reasonable time too!

[Beth S]

Our youngest boys are rewarded with 5 extra minutes of computer time if they are down on the couch waiting for me to start school at 8am.:001_smile:

 

I write the 5 on their hand in pen, as a pleasant "reminder".

 

More negative/natural consequence (esp. to not getting up when awakened ONCE by me) is an earlier bedtime. If they are late getting up, they have to hustle to still be ready for school at 8am.

 

(I find it VERY difficult to hand out a punishment at 8am, which isn't enacted until 2pm. And they will do all they can to get you to lift the punishment, believe me. Which makes anything you say less effective. It's really a challenge for me to be reasonable AND consistent!)

Edited August 6, 2012 by Beth S

[BakersDozen]

Some may not like my answer but here goes...

 

Our dc are expected to be out at a certain time helping with breakfast. If they are not out here helping then they get to do all of the clean up. If they don't even get out in time to eat breakfast with the family then they miss breakfast. If they are late starting school they have to make up that time after their regular school day has finished, even if it means missing out on a scheduled afternoon activity. They all know that my day ends at 3:30, period. If their decisions/actions cause my day to not end then or if I have to give up some of my evening to help them then they get to donate some of their time to help me (cleaning out cabinets, etc.).

 

I do not wake my older dc (12yo+) up as I want them to have that responsibility so they each have an alarm clock and are expected to use it. ;) Time management and efficiency during the day are super important to me; I want my dc to learn those things now while they are at home so hopefully they will have good habits when they leave home.

 

More negative consequence (esp. to not getting up when awakened ONCE by me) is an earlier bedtime.

We have done this as well. One of our dc went to bed at 7pm for a while until she realized I was serious about morning wake times. ;) Edited August 6, 2012 by LuvnMySvn

[marbel]

In my family, there is only one natural early riser/fast morning mover: me. So I'm learning how to deal with my slow movers.

 

If we have to go out in the morning, we get as much prepped as possible the night before. Books together, bags packed, lunch fixings done as much as possible or grouped together in the fridge for sandwich-making. Showers the night before if possible. (Not for me, that is one thing I need to wake up.)

 

I figured out how much time each person needs to get moving. My son has a couple of medications he has to take an hour before he eats, and he's slow in the bathroom, so if we are going somewhere, he needs to be up at least 90 minutes before we leave. He is getting better at setting his alarm but sometimes I have to speak to him. My daughter is a little quicker but not much.

 

If we're not going anywhere, but it's a school day, my kids like to allow themselves some leisure time before I own them. (Generally 8 - 4 they are on my time.) So, for example, if my son has a new computer or xbox game he's hot to play, he might set his alarm for an early wake-up to have some time for that. We rarely have a problem with him getting off when he needs to.

 

(Just an aside: I was against the idea of leisure time in the morning but a friend of mine said her teens functioned much better if they had some time in the morning for facebook, internet surfing, whatever, rather than getting right into work. So I tried it, and it's worked pretty well. I plan for some leisure in my early morning time too.)

 

It's a work in progress, of course. Things change sometimes. My goal is for them to get up and moving quickly when they need to, and recognize that that's the way life is. My husband is not a morning person and for most of his adult life he has been able to avoid early morning starts. But he can and does get up earlier when he needs to.

[laundrycrisis]

I get them up extra early because I have learned I can't rush the time it takes to shake the cobwebs loose, so if I want them alert and ready to work by 8, I have to get up them by 7. We also send them to bed at 8:30 and that helps.

 

This year I am adding "homework" for DS1. We are out of the house 3-4 afternoons per week for scheduled activities, so we only have the mornings, and he works too slowly to get enough done, so he is going to have to finish some work in the evenings this year.

Edited August 6, 2012 by laundrycrisis

[Alice]

I am a slow mover in the morning, my oldest is the same. I wake him an hour before we need to leave the house if we are going out or an hour before school.

 

For me, what helps is to not have people talk to me a lot or expect me to interact. I try not to be grumpy but I also can’t be super cheerful until I have had a shower and time to wake up. I think reasonable bed times are also key. I am definitely a night person but have been able to adjust over the years to a morning schedule. However, if I start to drift to staying up late then it’s harder to get up and harder and harder to get going.

 

I treat our school schedule like I would a school outside the schedule. If we need to start at 9, they need to be awake at 8 and ready to go at 9. If they aren’t, then they will have to miss other things in the afternoon or later in the day. For us that would be less free time later if we get started late.

[justLisa]

I am not motivated enough in the morning to impose consequences. And furthermore I am not the greatest example of a tight schedule so I usually just end up complaining about it all to DH at the end of the day

[Haiku]

At 10 and 11 they are old enough that they can make the choice: get up an hour earlier than strictly necessary so that they have time to wake up and get going on time or get up later and just suck it up and get ready. I know all the research about adolescents and sleep and all that but honestly, the world does not cater to that and the kids just have to get used to it.

 

My daughter is a "takes a while to get going" kid. She just has to get up earlier. That's life.

 

ETA: I also think kids need to be responsible for getting themselves up. I bought my daughter an alarm clock when she started fighting me about getting out of bed and I was cast as the meanie. Kids the world over wake up to alarm clocks. Sleeping through them on a regular basis is either a sign of 1) going to bed too late or 2) not really taking it seriously that you have to get up. I'd solve that problem by making anything they miss because they didn't get up on time homework, done on their own time and without mom's assistance. As a previous poster stated, MY school day is over at a certain time, even if my kids' isn't.

 

Tara

Edited August 6, 2012 by TaraTheLiberator

[Ottakee]

I would say an earlier bedtime and try to keep a reasonable schedule even on the weekends.

 

Girls that age might need a lot of sleep so if they need to be ready for school at 8 that might mean a 7am wake up time. Giving 10 hours for sleep that is a SLEEP time of 9pm and maybe in bed by 8:30 for some time to read, relax, etc. I know that sounds early but my girls now go to public school and are in bed at 8pm most nights in order to get enough sleep.

 

I agree with setting out as much as possible the night before---clothing so choices aren't an issue, having materials ready if you need to take anything with you to leave the house, showers the night before, etc. I know families that even pour the cereal for breakfast the night before and cover the bowl with a saucer, pour the juice ahead of time, etc.

 

Not saying it is easy, but it can be done.

[NotSoObvious]

If my kids weren't getting up, they'd have an earlier bedtime, period.

 

With that said, I do have early risers, but one dd who needs to be cattle prodded all morning to get ready on time. She gets distracted. Luckily, our house is very small, so a few reminders go a long way. They also know we are going to get done with what we have to do, even if it takes up their free time.

 

We don't have many problems anymore.

 

I'm more of a problem in the morning. ;)

[TammyS]

Some may not like my answer but here goes...

 

Our dc are expected to be out at a certain time helping with breakfast. If they are not out here helping then they get to do all of the clean up. If they don't even get out in time to eat breakfast with the family then they miss breakfast. If they are late starting school they have to make up that time after their regular school day has finished, even if it means missing out on a scheduled afternoon activity. They all know that my day ends at 3:30, period. If their decisions/actions cause my day to not end then or if I have to give up some of my evening to help them then they get to donate some of their time to help me (cleaning out cabinets, etc.).

 

I do not wake my older dc (12yo+) up as I want them to have that responsibility so they each have an alarm clock and are expected to use it. ;) Time management and efficiency during the day are super important to me; I want my dc to learn those things now while they are at home so hopefully they will have good habits when they leave home.

 

We have done this as well. One of our dc went to bed at 7pm for a while until she realized I was serious about morning wake times. ;)

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree:

 

My ds 13 has had an alarm clock for years. I still have my first alarm clock, it's now 23 years old. I see no reason for parents to have to fight first thing in the morning just to get the day moving - and I say this as someone who is definitively NOT a morning person. I believe that teenagers do needs plenty of sleep, just like toddlers. My son goes to bed at 8p and it's lights out at 9p. Reading only in between, we don't allow electronics in bedrooms. He gets up at 6:30 (often a little earlier), no problem. His clock seldom has to go off.

 

If you have people who are not morning people, not fast starters, that's fine. Truly. But you have to build that into the schedule. Start with the time that you want them ready for school. Count backwards how much time they need for grooming, chores, and breakfast (here if you don't have your morning chores and grooming done, you don't GET breakfast - just like if he went to school he'd miss it because he'd have to catch the bus), then count backwards for how much time that person needs to be up and going (this could be 1 minute or 1 hour, doesn't matter). That is their wakeup time. Then count backward from that AT LEAST 8 hours (maybe as much as ten) for sleep, and that is their bed time.

 

So, if school starts at 8, and you need 1/2hr for chores and 1/2hr for breakfast, and you have a slow starter who needs an hour to wake up - no problem. Their wake up time is 6. Their bedtime is between 8 and 10, depending on how much sleep they need. If that same person can make themselves move first thing, they can sleep until 7 and go to bed between 9 and 11.

[Dolphin]

.

Edited August 7, 2012 by Northwest_Mama

[Rebel Yell]

Have you asked them? Do they see a need to wake up early? Do they have a reasonable workload- are they working efficiently?

 

If you really do want to be firm about a wake-up time, and the amount of work to be done before sports/activities, then you have to be firm. Give 1-week grace to work out the system, but not done = no activity. I have been mean enough to make my kids pay me for the time they lost- for example, $10/hour for missed dance classes. Actually, just knowing that I would follow through on the threat was enough- never had to use it. :D

 

I am not a morning person, and neither are two of my three. Different girls have different afternoon/evening activities depending on the day of the week. For example, Diamond has dance classes Thursday from 6:45-10pm. So it's not like she has to be somewhere at 4pm, KWIM? She has literally all day to work. And if she sleeps in the next day, no big deal... except on co-op weeks.

 

I also have different school schedules for different days of the week, depending on afternoon activities. We don't do every subject every day.

 

My point is, as long as mine get a clearly defined amount of work done each day or week, I don't care what time (and for some things, day) they do it.

 

When we do have to be somewhere early- 9am piano lesson for BabyBaby, leave at 8:15 am for Friday co-op- they do just fine.

 

If sleeping in allows them to do all of their work somewhat cheerfully and in 4 hours, as opposed to waking up early, being grouchy all day, and taking 6 hours to get the work done because they were foggy in the morning, then I figure I come out ahead by letting them sleep.

 

YMMV.

[fourcatmom]

Thank you everyone! Sorry, I was on a field trip all day. Lot of good ideas and things to think about. I think the points about waking up with enough time and going to bed really make more sense then the computer as one poster put it, the consequence is so far beyond the action.

 

Lots to think about! Thanks again. :001_smile:

[5wolfcubs]

I would say an earlier bedtime and try to keep a reasonable schedule even on the weekends.

 

Girls that age might need a lot of sleep so if they need to be ready for school at 8 that might mean a 7am wake up time. Giving 10 hours for sleep that is a SLEEP time of 9pm and maybe in bed by 8:30 for some time to read, relax, etc. I know that sounds early but my girls now go to public school and are in bed at 8pm most nights in order to get enough sleep.

:iagree:

I got my dd a Clocky so she'd have to get out of bed to turn it off.

She wanted to get up but would often have the music on her regular clock radio set too low to be disturbing. Clocky is very...disruptive...to sleep. :D

[LaxMom]

I have also found training the kids to associate meaning with the alarm helps. Otherwise, they can sleep right through the noise; it just doesn't seem to signal anything to them unless they're in that habit.

[Night Elf]

I would definitely go with alarm clocks to start with. I woke up my son until this year and finally got him an alarm clock. I was surprised at how quickly he took to it. It took a couple of weeks, but he gets out of bed within 15 mins of it going off. I don't even need to check on him. It's been heavenly. It may be hard at first, but once trained, it's brilliant. Oh, when helping my son learn, I had an alarm set that reminded me to go remind him to wake up. He's allowed to hit snooze twice and no more. If I have to come into the room, he has to physically get out of bed before I leave the room. It's effective. Sorry, I can't help with consequences as my son just did it. I like other suggestions to make bedtime earlier. That could be great incentive to cooperate in the morning.

[angela in ohio]

Children who have difficulty getting up in the morning need to go to bed earlier. At a certain point, when they are going to bed at dinner time, they will crack. ;)

[earthyfamily]

Alarm clocks here. It might sound terrible but my kids are so slow to get anything done that I have to get my son up at 5:45, so he can take a shower, and the girls up at 6:00 to get started at 8:00. They know that our 8 o'clock start time is non-negotiable and if they are not there and ready, school starts without them. Now that being said, in order for them to get up this early and not complain (umm...too much), they are in bed by 8 with lights out by 9 for the two younger ones and 9:30 for the oldest. Otherwise they will not get enough sleep.

 

Nicole Rich

[fourcatmom]

:iagree:

I got my dd a Clocky so she'd have to get out of bed to turn it off.

She wanted to get up but would often have the music on her regular clock radio set too low to be disturbing. Clocky is very...disruptive...to sleep. :D

 

 

I actually had heard about these but weren't sure what they were called. Maybe I will aim for these for Christmas as two would be pricey right now. Great idea!

 

Thanks everyone!

[elegantlion]

We're not early morning people, and we are certainly cobweb-y people. Ds needs at least an hour to get up and moving. Adjusting the bedtime is the biggest hurdle for us and the most effective.

 

Frying bacon or baking cinnamon rolls gets him up too, but I don't do that often.

[fourcatmom]

We're not early morning people, and we are certainly cobweb-y people. Ds needs at least an hour to get up and moving. Adjusting the bedtime is the biggest hurdle for us and the most effective.

 

Frying bacon or baking cinnamon rolls gets him up too, but I don't do that often.

 

Both I would have to do both as one likes bacon and one likes cinnamon rolls, but it would work. :001_smile:

[katilac]

It's no big deal in my household to accomodate my slow mover, so I do.

 

My kids sleep with the bedroom door closed, so the first thing I do is knock gently and open the door. That, and the sounds of the household as I walk back and forth doing this and that, slowly begin to raise her from the depths.

 

Then, I will usually walk into the room and speak to her briefly, maybe just 'good morning' or 'it's a pretty day outside' with a quick rub to her back or a pat on the shoulder.

 

If I'm making breakfast, that will usually rouse her and get her moving. If I'm not, it may take one more trip into her room.

 

She can wake up to an alarm clock, and she can move quickly in the morning if needed. She just vastly prefers not to. I'm not even going to admit how old I was when my mom stopped waking me up by putting my socks on for me :D, and my gentle awakenings are fond memories for me.

 

It's perfectly fine if one doesn't have the time or patience or inclination to do it that way, but there's also nothing wrong with it. It doesn't cripple you for life - I didn't miss any more 8 a.m. classes in college than my room mates did.

[5wolfcubs]

Maybe I will aim for these for Christmas as two would be pricey right now. Great idea!

They are pricey. Hers was a birthday or Christmas gift. :)

[KungFuPanda]

Will they get up for breakfast? This plan starts YOUR day earlier because you have to prepare it and call them down, but whatever works. Once they're at the table you have your captive audience/early start.

 

For use, it's more efficient to eat, do a few subjects, and THEN get dressed or do chores during a study break. I feel it makes the lessons more of a priority than appearances.

[luvnlattes]

In our house using the computer or screen time as a reward for getting up would not work. Sleeping would win out on most days.

 

My kids all have alarm clocks to wake them in the morning. Two will get up after their alarm but one will often go back to sleep. I usually have to go up and wake him again. It's rough in the beginning but as the year progresses they get in a groove and usually get up without too much intervention from me.

 

As others mentioned, it also helps making sure they have lights out by a certain time the night before.

[Ellie]

I just go in there and get them up. And out of bed. Hugs and kisses, gentle nagging. I don't tell them to get up then go about my business (a friend used to do that :glare:).