Pineapple Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 Hey everyone, I don't post a lot, but read almost daily. I am entering a time in my life where I am at a crossroads of sorts. My daughter is a senior this year and my son is a freshman. It has all of a sudden hit me that our homeschooling years are coming to an end, and I have been sad about this revelation. I knew it was coming, but wasn't prepared for the emotions that I would have to deal with. Have any of you been through this? How did you handle it? Thanks for just letting me put that out there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 I have and it isn't very pleasant. My babies are 18 this summer and it's over. Oldest moved cross country when he married, never get to see them. This will be our last year home together. You just have to find a hobby and try to keep going. I don't do it very well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 I'm dealing with it, and it's not easy. I keep thinking back to our fun years of homeschooling. Now it's all serious high school work. My middle child is a junior so he still has at least 2 years at home. My youngest dd is starting public high school in a couple of weeks. I spend a great deal of time bored because I don't have anything to do. Schooling and playing used to take up all day but now they don't. People tell me find hobbies but I haven't had much luck with that because there are things I just don't like. I hate to exercise. I don't like going outside. I'm not a sports person. I can't sew. I tried cross-stitch and crochet recently but even wearing my prescription reading glasses, it's hard for me to see the small details of the work. And yada yada... yeah, I miss the days when they were younger. I thought they would never end. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DianeW88 Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 My two oldest are now in college and I love it!! They are so fun to hang out with and I love being able to be more of a friend to them now that they're adults. They make their own decisions...and so far they've all been good ones...and the freedom from the responsibility on managing their day to day lives is intoxicating. :D I am really enjoying this stage of my life, and while I still have one more at home, I can say that having adult children is a GREAT thing and I love it. Plus, my dh and I are finally getting time to do whatever we want to. It's nice to have genuine couple time again and to be able to go out with him (or away for a weekend) and not worry about little kids. My youngest is 11, but with my adult kids, I know he's in good hands. Seriously, enjoy the time you have and look forward to the future. You have an open book with lots of possibilities for hobbies, time and learning for YOURSELF once your kids have moved on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
datgh Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 I'm right there with you. How did we go from diapers to behind the steering wheel. I have a group of homeschooling friends who we do a lot with. Us Mom's have made a pack to meet once a month after our kids go off to college to support one another through the transition. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pineapple Posted July 31, 2012 Author Share Posted July 31, 2012 My husband and I have been "dating" for a couple of years now. Ever since the kids were old enough for us to leave at home alone. I must say I am looking forward to traveling with him when the kids are adults. I run 3-4 days a week right now, so that is a nice outlet. I am starting to invest in friendships again, and that is nice also. I think my main thing is that I have always invested in my children, and need to just accept that this is a natural part of life. I don't want them to see me sad, but I also don't want them to think that I am happy they will soon be gone. ykwim? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 Plus, my dh and I are finally getting time to do whatever we want to. It's nice to have genuine couple time again and to be able to go out with him (or away for a weekend) and not worry about little kids. My husband and I have been "dating" for a couple of years now. Ever since the kids were old enough for us to leave at home alone. I must say I am looking forward to traveling with him when the kids are adults. I run 3-4 days a week right now, so that is a nice outlet. I am starting to invest in friendships again, and that is nice also. I think my main thing is that I have always invested in my children, and need to just accept that this is a natural part of life. I don't want them to see me sad, but I also don't want them to think that I am happy they will soon be gone. ykwim? There are seasons to life. Sometimes we grieve a little when one ends but remember that at that time also a new one begins. I also enjoy my adult son while I remember the fun days of homeschooling and 4H and what not. But it's also nice to have a quiet house now and then (I know some people don't like this :001_smile:) and have the freedom to do things with dh without arranging for sitters. ETA: Still cannot multi quote. :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 We have only one more year of homeschooling to go, and I do think about how I will miss these years... However, I LOVE having adult children! They are my best friends, and we do a lot of things together now as adults and have so much fun. I get such a joy out of seeing them living their lives independently, excited about their future, planning their careers and reaching for their dreams. It is a very exciting time, in a different way. This is what we were preparing them for. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kareni Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 ETA: Still cannot multi quote. :( In the lower right hand corner of each post are three symbols. The first is of a quill and says Quote, the central one has quotation marks and a plus sign, and the third has a picture of a quill. To multi-quote, click on the central symbol for each post you would like to quote. The symbol will turn orange. When you have selected all of the posts you wish to quote, click on Post Reply which you can find at the lower left of all the posts. Regards, Kareni Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Firefly Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 I hear you. I've been having the same feelings as we approach starting up in September. I have a ton of hobbies-- knitting, gardening, beekeeping, reading etc... it's not that. It's more that now that my two, and especially my oldest, are moving into pretty much all independent work, I feel a tremendous amount of sadness. I loved teaching them and being so hands on with their schooling. Although I recognize this is a normal transition, I'm definitely grieving that loss. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NotSoObvious Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 Oh gosh. And here I am having a hard time with my girls turning 10. I guess I will try to relish these years! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blueridge Posted August 1, 2012 Share Posted August 1, 2012 I've been experiencing much the same feelings lately. I am so thankful not to be alone. :) It just hit me one day recently as I was starting to look over curriculum purchases and I was not liking what I had chosen. Everything looks so dry and boring and not the kind of fun we used to have in our Konos or Learning Adventures days...long gone are the Five in a Row books, the sweet activities with dd18 leading the pack of fun. Everything seems so serious lol. Transcripts and elective credits and courses of study...Now all I have to look forward to are my 2 youngest just sitting and doing their independent work and having discussions. :tongue_smilie: I wish I could find a magical program and rejuvenate our remaining time together before they were both grown. I think it is sometimes harder on homeschool moms to see their children growing up. :grouphug: to everyone! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThisIsTheDay Posted August 1, 2012 Share Posted August 1, 2012 My daughter is a senior this year and my son is a freshman. It has all of a sudden hit me that our homeschooling years are coming to an end, and I have been sad about this revelation. I knew it was coming, but wasn't prepared for the emotions that I would have to deal with. Have any of you been through this? How did you handle it? Thanks for just letting me put that out there. Hey, mine are that exact same grade this year too! I've been weepy off and on this summer. I'm thrilled for my dd, I honestly cannot wait to see where God leads her, and I'm so excited--for her. But I'm sad for me. All last year, I kept thinking, just two more years. This has helped me by reminding me to take advantage of whatever time we can get together, whatever memories we can make. This next year is going to fly, and it will be so bittersweet. :grouphug::grouphug: :blink::crying: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
butterflymommy Posted August 1, 2012 Share Posted August 1, 2012 I have mixed feelings. My oldest is 15. While it's bittersweet to see him getting older my greatest grief is that he is not mature or responsible as I had hoped he would be. I love him for who he is, not in spite of who he is, but I have so many fears for his future I can barely sleep at night. If I could see him exhibiting the characteristics that will allow him to live independently I would be having a much easier time of it. I'm spoiled though, I have many children and youngest is still a baby. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie G Posted August 1, 2012 Share Posted August 1, 2012 Ds finished homeschooling in May- I thought I was going to be super sad and adrift but knowing it was coming made a difference. For me it would have been more difficult if we had suddenly stopped homeschooling- this just seemed like a natural progression. I was mopey most of June but I spent a lot of time on my bike on the trails working things out and I'm fine now. Looking forward to this phase- which includes being the grandma as our oldest daughter starts her homeschool journey with her 5 year old. I loved the years we homeschooled but honestly I was ready to be done and move on to the next phase. And I LOVE having adult children!!! I hope you find your peace - it's a beautiful place to be and a wonderful feeling of accomplishment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CyndiLJ Posted August 1, 2012 Share Posted August 1, 2012 I am feeling this too, though we have several years left. My highest grade child starts 8th grade this year, with high school looming. We then have 2 in 6th, 1 in 5th and 1 in 4th...but in all honesty I love HSing so much I will really, really dread it when it is done. One thing I am going to do though, is try and teach ESL here in our community. That way I can still teach and do what I have come to enjoy so much. With our family, have had some experience in this as well! Other than that, I am totally NOT a hobby person and am clueless what I'll do with myself when the time comes. We'll just have to wait and see, surely God has something in store that can't begin to imagine yet. Cindy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EthiopianFood Posted August 1, 2012 Share Posted August 1, 2012 ETA: Still cannot multi quote. :( But at least you have time to learn now :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sewingmama Posted August 1, 2012 Share Posted August 1, 2012 Whenever I feel sad about my kids growing up I try to focus on the fact that at least I got to have more time with them then the regular parent because I didn't send them to school and it cheers me up. It makes me feel like I squeezed out every ounce of time I could have possibly spent with them and didn't waste a second KWIM. I think it is tough sending your kids off when you have homeschooled though - you are so used to having them around all the time and you didn't get to get used to seperation and not having them around by sending them to school. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ibbygirl Posted August 1, 2012 Share Posted August 1, 2012 Hey everyone, I don't post a lot, but read almost daily. I am entering a time in my life where I am at a crossroads of sorts. My daughter is a senior this year and my son is a freshman. It has all of a sudden hit me that our homeschooling years are coming to an end, and I have been sad about this revelation. I knew it was coming, but wasn't prepared for the emotions that I would have to deal with. Have any of you been through this? How did you handle it? Thanks for just letting me put that out there. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: I'm going through the same thing with my dd. It has been hitting me hard too to think that she's almost grown and that our journey is so close to an end. We're still kicking around whether or not we should dual enroll or not, but if we do dual enroll, this is my last year teaching her. :crying: I don't know how to deal with it other than to cry and to try to enjoy and remember every single day with her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EthiopianFood Posted August 1, 2012 Share Posted August 1, 2012 Whenever I feel sad about my kids growing up I try to focus on the fact that at least I got to have more time with them then the regular parent because I didn't send them to school and it cheers me up. It makes me feel like I squeezed out every ounce of time I could have possibly spent with them and didn't waste a second KWIM. :crying: You're so right. Thank you for this reminder. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted August 1, 2012 Share Posted August 1, 2012 I know someone who started "homework hour" at the local library. Kids bring in their homework and she helps them. Some days there weren't any, and she read, but most days a couple of kids were eager for math or written paper help. She got to know some regulars, and it was a real service, because they had parents who couldn't or wouldn't help, and were their voluntarily, and behaved. I could see doing the same thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TravelingChris Posted August 1, 2012 Share Posted August 1, 2012 Last year, I was down to a freshman and that was it. I decided to start doing tutoring in a elementary school in a disadvantaged area. I really liked it. I will continue that even after she graduates. But as many others said, I like my adult and almost adult children. I also like having more free time with my dh though at this point, I am still driving dd a lot since she doesn't have a license yet. I also am enjoying only homeschooling one now- I can give her more attention. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted August 1, 2012 Share Posted August 1, 2012 Oldest will be a junior in college (away from home) this fall. Middle is leaving to be a freshman in college (away from home) this fall. He leaves in 3 weeks, on my birthday no less (not that I'm counting - sigh). Youngest will be a junior in our local public high school. As of this past spring my homeschooling was finished. It seems weird. As of 2 years ago our family really started changing. It was weird and sad on my part - oldest was thrilled and still is. This all continues over the next 2 years and 3 weeks. Hubby and I talk about it often as we were super close as a family. We traveled with our kids rather extensively and did tons of "stuff" with them from geocaching to board games. It's VERY easy to get nostalgic and wish for the "old days" to return. What keeps us going? Seeing them move on with their lives and be happy. I also remember how excited I was to go to college and how much I enjoyed my college days. I could never understand why my mom was CRYING when she dropped me off... now I know, but I also remember how happy I was at that time and keep that memory "live" as much as I can for my boys. Then hubby and I spend a bit of time talking about our "next stage" in life - planning what we want to do together. It'll be alright, but yeah, it's super easy to get nostalgic. I will say I'm VERY happy we spent the time, money, and made the effort to spend time and do things with our boys as they were growing up. That's one thing we can never get back. Some people we know always say they are going to do things "later" or "next year," etc, but they never get around to it. I'm REALLY glad that wasn't us. We have tons of memories from places we went and things we did homeschooling and otherwise. One year we took 3 months off (Feb and Aug/Sept) to travel. That ended up being everyone's favorite year - not just for us, but also for our boys. We're glad we made it work instead of leaving it as a dream. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catherine Posted August 1, 2012 Share Posted August 1, 2012 My oldest went to Germany as an exchange student between junior and senior year, so I got a bonus year of having him at home, but now that he is actually leaving for college, it seems "right." I still have a high schooler (not homeschooled any more) and an 11 yo who is still homeschooled. I am so enjoying having older kids. They are basically good kids, not without small stumbles, but overall really good kids. Yes to everything Diane mentions: dh and I have more time to ourselves, I am taking on some long-deferred house projects, and trying (perhaps in vain) to revive my career. Plus now we have aging parents on both sides to care for so that is entering the picture. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angela in ohio Posted August 1, 2012 Share Posted August 1, 2012 Yep. Started when my oldest hit high school, and it gets worse every year. In two more years from now, we will never be the same family unit, living here learning together. Things will be different. I am happy for my dc, and I will let them go, because it is the healthy thing to do, but it's going to be ridiculously hard. If dh wakes up at night, and I am sitting up crying, he now knows that it is the, "They are all going to leave, and it will be over, and I can't go around again." issue. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Girls' Mom Posted August 1, 2012 Share Posted August 1, 2012 I feel your sadness. It has been hard for me this year too, and I can't imagine how hard the years to come will be. I only have two years left of schooling my oldest, if that. My younger two only have 6, possibly 5 years if they stay on the track they are on. I no longer have little girls. They are all as tall as I am, and all.....teenagery. :lol: I just took photos for my little niece...who is a senior this year. Time is running away. So what do I do? I say, heck ya, I'll homeschool dh's cousin who is starting preschool this year :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alicia64 Posted August 1, 2012 Share Posted August 1, 2012 I just wanted to say that I think about this eventuality often. My boys are just 9, but I know my day will come. I always joke that I have an "exit" plan when they go to college: I'm getting two fluffy tiny dogs, putting them in a stroller, buying about $1,000 worth of frilly doggie clothes and calling it good. Yes, I'm joking, but not about the dog part. I will be getting a fluffy, sweet little dog to love and fuss over. I love dogs and I'm not suggesting you should love dogs too if you don't, but I encourage you to dig deep into what sustains you and what you do love. Because I think having our babies grow up and leave is so, so hard. Take good care, Alley Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Firefly Posted August 1, 2012 Share Posted August 1, 2012 People keep bring up the older kids thing, so I wanted to clarify: I LOVE having teens. This stage of their lives and being able to relate to them on a more adult level is wonderful. It's not that. It's just missing the hands-on teaching time. I have such great memories of schooling with them and am going to miss that so much. Yes, I know we'll be making memories doing other things with them now and I will continue to enjoy them as they mature into adulthood; but still, I'm sad that those days of spending time learning together--messy kitchen science, history projects, etc --are coming to an end. :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EthiopianFood Posted August 3, 2012 Share Posted August 3, 2012 People keep bring up the older kids thing, so I wanted to clarify: I LOVE having teens. This stage of their lives and being able to relate to them on a more adult level is wonderful. It's not that. It's just missing the hands-on teaching time. I have such great memories of schooling with them and am going to miss that so much. Yes, I know we'll be making memories doing other things with them now and I will continue to enjoy them as they mature into adulthood; but still, I'm sad that those days of spending time learning together--messy kitchen science, history projects, etc --are coming to an end. :( I don't know about you, but I have this really awesome sugar cube pyramid planned for Ancients in 9th grade! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Firefly Posted August 3, 2012 Share Posted August 3, 2012 I don't know about you, but I have this really awesome sugar cube pyramid planned for Ancients in 9th grade! :lol: :lol:Thanks for the chuckle, RaeAnne! Maybe it's time to revisit the chicken mummy as well... ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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