WWYD: Aggressive child in church nursery

[Mrs Mungo]

One of the parents has to be in the nursery every.single.time the children are in there, his or her job being to watch his/her own children.<snip>

 

I once had to have a conversation with the parents of a 5yo whose behavior was just bizarre (too long to go into here). I told them, very regretfully, that we just weren't equipped to take care of their son's special needs and that one of them would need to stay with him in class. I don't believe they came back, and that's too bad, but it had to be done.

 

I just cannot agree with this, unless every other avenue has been explored. A more reasonable age spread and more structured activities often solve these types of problems, in my experience. I have a friend going through this right now. Her son has a diagnosed behavior disorder. The Sunday school teachers want her to stay or the son cannot come. So, now the family isn't going to church at all now. They feel rejected by the church. Understand, I volunteer with kids every week. I have dealt with behavior issues and what to do about them.

 

Not deserved but it is part of life. Generally a forgettable part. No long term impact.

 

A toddler or preK kid who hits is not any more likely to become a sociopath than the kid who doesnt hit. Its all a tempest in a tea pot.

 

Since you don't do nursery at your church, and you don't volunteer, I don't see how you are qualified to make a judgment about whether any concerns are legit.

[Candid]

One of the parents has to be in the nursery every.single.time the children are in there, his or her job being to watch his/her own children.

 

It is not right that the other children should be abused because the parents of the problem children might be offended if you say anything.

 

ITA that the age range of the room is inappropriate. Of course, you might not have any choice, so you have to work with what you have.

 

Your pastor might not agree with requiring the parents to be with their children. If not, he should be ready to make suggestions that will keep all the children safe.

 

I once had to have a conversation with the parents of a 5yo whose behavior was just bizarre (too long to go into here). I told them, very regretfully, that we just weren't equipped to take care of their son's special needs and that one of them would need to stay with him in class. I don't believe they came back, and that's too bad, but it had to be done.

 

I disagree with the last bit that I bolded. Our church has a shepherding program for children who have problems whether it be diagnosed developmental problems or behavioral problems. This allows the parent to have breather during what is probably a long and tough week.

[ktgrok]

But here you are alive and well to tell us about these traumas. I think there needs to be a bit more perspective here. For one thing, toys are much safer than when we were kids. I dont think I have seen a sharp edge on a toy in 20 years.;)

 

If someone is actively watching these kids most of the hitting and biting can be prevented.

 

And if I were here telling about it with only one working eye? That would be no big deal?

[ktgrok]

Wouldn't the easiest fix be for the parent to take over nursery duty and you take over the 4 year old classroom they are teaching?

[Mrs Mungo]

I do nursery at homeschool co-op.:) We meet at a church. And I have 3 kids, the youngest of which is 8. i remember obsessing over things like my poor sweet darling firstborn baby getting hit in the nursery of the YMCA. I would have done well to get some perspective bc now he is 15 and that is the least of the troubles we have had.:lol:

 

And that is great for you. But, it is only the tip of the iceberg as far as the troubles people *do* see out there. I don't think it's fair to minimize *all* problems, even if I generally agree with your thought process.

[QueenCat]

1. I think 18 months to 4 years is a *huge* age gap. I would rather see it sorted into 18 months up to 3 years and then 3 and 4 year olds. That would mean only one of these kids per room. They might do better separate and the adults could watch them better.

 

2. Breaking up the ages would allow for age-appropriate activities for all of the kids, instead of having a playspace free-for-all. Keeping the kids busy and directed is huge when it comes to managing kids with behavior issues. Look up Sunday school plans for othe groups. You need a timeline like: prayer time and requests: 5 minutes, opening songs (songs that get them moving in a directed way: Spring Up O Well, Father Abraham, etc) 10 minutes, Bible story 10 minutes, snack 10 minutes, bathroom break 5 minutes, coloring sheets or craft project 15 minutes, etc.

 

I didn't notice the age gap at first. You are right, that age gap is way to wide. We have our toddlers (18 months-2) in one room, and our 3-4's in another. They graduate to the older room on their birthday. I can't imagine have 4's (some who can be almost 5) in a room with an 18 month old... and manage to have any kind of relevant programming for the whole group. Two smaller groups would be more manageable with both behavior and age appropriate activities.

[garddwr]

I didn't notice the age gap at first. You are right, that age gap is way to wide. We have our toddlers (18 months-2) in one room, and our 3-4's in another. They graduate to the older room on their birthday. I can't imagine have 4's (some who can be almost 5) in a room with an 18 month old... and manage to have any kind of relevant programming for the whole group. Two smaller groups would be more manageable with both behavior and age appropriate activities.

 

I actually said our kids are all under the age of 4, the oldest is about 3.5 and the youngest is 18 months. Still a bigger gap than I would like, but it is what we have to work with for now.

[QueenCat]

I actually said our kids are all under the age of 4, the oldest is about 3.5 and the youngest is 18 months. Still a bigger gap than I would like, but it is what we have to work with for now.

 

Oops, sorry I didn't go back to the original post to verify..... Can you get more volunteers & break the groups up?

[garddwr]

Oops, sorry I didn't go back to the original post to verify..... Can you get more volunteers & break the groups up?

 

I think at least one more volunteer is going to have to be part of the solution. I don't think we have the facilities to break into two separate groups, although part of the room can be partitioned off which might work for doing small group activities with the different ages. That's a good idea and would add more structure--as long as we can get enough adults to make it work. Probably that would require two more volunteers, which may be hard to come by.

[garddwr]

Wouldn't the easiest fix be for the parent to take over nursery duty and you take over the 4 year old classroom they are teaching?

 

I actually used to teach the older class and asked to be transferred to the nursery so I could get my own very clingy toddler acclimated before our new baby arrives in August. I won't be up to working in either class for awhile after the baby comes, though, which is one more reason to get some more adults involved in nursery now to smooth the transition.

[Sara in AZ]

I think if you corral a bunch of wee tots together with minimal supervision you get what you deserve.

 

Im catholic. We dont much have nursery. We tote our kids into church with us and juggle them.

 

We Mormons schlep our kids into our main worship service, too. (1 hour 15 min.) Then for the next 1 hour 45 min. everyone breaks off into age appropriate Sunday School classes. We view nursery as a Gospel class for the 18 mo. to 3 year olds. Of course it should be a place where they feel safe and nurtured as they have beginning lessons about God. It can be difficult finding the right combination of adults to serve there.

 

I had a terrible time as nursery leader way back when my oldest was that age. She was the bully I had to watch out for. We were understaffed. I had my infant in there with me. Not good. I think this situation can be solved by just making sure there are enough adults in there and/or separating the ages if you have enough adults. I've seen that done before.

 

ETA: If your ward is anything like mine, I can totally understand the difficulty in getting enough adults.

[cin]

None of this is abnormal or unexpected in this age group in a nursery setting. You just deal with it. You watch the children and you prevent when possible and coach when necessary. These things happen.

 

I can not believe the attribution to food allergies and bad parenting. Please.

 

They are toddlers/ preK. This is what they do. They can not communicate well in other ways and they cant problem solve. This is typical developmentally appropriate (if undesirable) behavior.

 

You are right when you say the are kids and this stuff happens, but I CAN believe an attribution to food allergies/sensitivities. My daughter reacts to Red & Yellow food coloring VIOLENTLY. She has only hurt herself so far, but that's only because she is isolated when she has an artificial color meltdown. She bangs her head on the (hardwood) floor, chews on her headboard (also wood) throws things (not balls) and tears things up; slicing with scissors, ripping, or however she can destroy it. Without red and yellow food coloring, she talks about tearing things up, but the red pushes her over the edge.

[ktgrok]

It would be functionally irrelevant since you were apparently outside and playing on some sort of play ground and we are talking about a handful of small people in a nursery.

 

 

I mean really, life is full of risk. Do you allow your children on the playground near the swings?

 

 

The swing incident was the tooth, in a small group of kids at preschool. And I'm VERY concious of my children around swings now, and don NOT allow them to play near them, no. They can swing, or they can play elsewhere.

 

The eye incident was in a preschool classroom, same ages as described in the OP.

 

Oh, and I don't have glass top tables, either.

[Haiku]

I think you should tell the parents that until their son gets over his scratching and hitting phase, he can't come to childcare. Too bad if they teach Sunday School. If my kid were scratched or hit by a kid who has a known history of doing such and he hadn't been removed from the group, I'd have some choice things to say.

 

Tara

[Mrs Mungo]

Another question-do your volunteers receive any training? BSA has a number of free trainings on their website that are for people who volunteer with youth. The topics range from basic protection to bullying to special needs. Might be worth suggesting.

[garddwr]

Another question-do your volunteers receive any training? BSA has a number of free trainings on their website that are for people who volunteer with youth. The topics range from basic protection to bullying to special needs. Might be worth suggesting.

 

Do you think the BSA training would be applicable to working with toddlers?

[Mrs Mungo]

Do you think the BSA training would be applicable to working with toddlers?

 

They start out with Tiger Cubs who are 5. I think some of it would. Once you are talking about certain special needs or behavioral issues, the advice between a 3.5 year old and 5 year old would not be that different.

[Murmer]

I think at least one more volunteer is going to have to be part of the solution. I don't think we have the facilities to break into two separate groups, although part of the room can be partitioned off which might work for doing small group activities with the different ages. That's a good idea and would add more structure--as long as we can get enough adults to make it work. Probably that would require two more volunteers, which may be hard to come by.

 

So our nursery had 3 partitions so it has been divided into 3 groups of about 8 on the rolls (so about 4 to 6 come on a regular basis for each)...so my group is 18 months to 26 months and then there is the 3 year old moving to sunbeam group and then everyone inbetween class. It has actually worked pretty well...we just move to the next room every 30 mins and each room has a purpose...so my babies start in the music room, which has little toys like blocks and trucks. We play then sing then move to the next room which is lesson and snack. Then the last room is the real toy room. It seems to work....the other thing you could suggest is having the almost sunbeams start going to sharing time which would remove 1 of the kids for a little bit of time in an age appropriate manner.

 

Good luck as the mom of an aggressive nursery child I am so grateful that they didn't kick her out when she lost control...now we know what was going on and it turns out she has special needs that caused the behaviors but at that time we had no idea other than being at a complete loss for what to do with her and thankful that for 2 hours 1 time a week she was in a safe place and we could be uplifted as we prepared for another week of dealing with her.

[Ellie]

I disagree with the last bit that I bolded. Our church has a shepherding program for children who have problems whether it be diagnosed developmental problems or behavioral problems. This allows the parent to have breather during what is probably a long and tough week.

And you were blessed to have that. My church did not.

[Ellie]

Mom and Dad both teach Sunday School, or I would ask one of them to stay and help supervise their children. The other nursery teacher and I try to keep an eye on these two, but there we can't watch them all the time. I'm thinking of asking the person in charge of Sunday School to find a third person to help out in the nursery, more adult supervision would certainly help.

I missed that part. DOH.

 

Teaching Sunday school elsewhere does not absolve them from parental responsibilities. They still need to be part of the solution, which may mean that they alternate being in the nursery with their children.

[Hedgehog]

Just thinking from the perspective of the parent(s), because I had (have) "that" kid.

 

When Sniff was 2.5yrs old, he suddenly erupted into one of those kids, who seemed to do random, unpredictable unpleasantness to other children without an awareness of what he was doing or why. He was at nursery part-time (I think it was 3 half days a week), but the nursery staff, despite their varied efforts, couldn't deal with him. They simply couldn't be everywhere at once. He was exactly the same at home to his siblings. The nursery never asked me to take him out, but I decided to because the situation obviously wasn't working. I sometimes wished that they would tell me more about what was going on, but again they had other children to care for - they couldn't watch my son every second of the day, to the detriment of the other children.

 

I'd like to say that it improved once he was home, but it took years. It's only been in the last year that we've had a diagnosis of ADHD, and because of the diagnosis we've been able to pinpoint the issues and find some decent solutions. Before that, we were in the dark and it was much harder to find effective answers.

 

All that to say - that if these kids are causing trouble at nursery, then the problem isn't yours. It's the parents'. If you can't realistically deal with the issues, then you have every right to request that the parents take the child(ren) out of your nursery. In this kind of situation, I believe you have to take the philosophy of "the greatest good for the greatest number".

 

I applaud your wish to find a workable solution, and I really hope that you do find one; I can also see that you are a caring person. Just don't feel bad if that solution needs to be that the child(ren) stop coming to nursery. As a parent, I had to be realistic - my son didn't fit into a nursery environment; I had to deal with myself, 24/7, until such time as he could behave himself suitably when away from me.

[Twinmom]

I disagree with the last bit that I bolded. Our church has a shepherding program for children who have problems whether it be diagnosed developmental problems or behavioral problems. This allows the parent to have breather during what is probably a long and tough week.

 

We have this at our church and it has been a blessing beyond belief! We have four kids with special needs, one whose needs are severe and two who present as ADHD, though they are not (developmental delays). For the first time, we can attend services without worry or distraction and our kids love going to church...and feel loved there.

 

We left a previous church after our daughter's panic attacks in the children's program resulted in some very ugly things being said to us as parents. She has a brain injury...definitely NOT a parenting issue. Volunteers were nasty, the church staff did little to nothing to reach out to us though we were clearly suffering. We were willing to be there to help, did everything we could manage, etc. but no one really knew what to do with her and we were clearly not welcome. She became literally afraid to be there, even in the main service. We expected differently, as the pastor's son has severe autism, but sadly, we were disappointed. We needed the church to reach out to us as we fought to save our child, but instead were treated basically as pariahs. Our daughter, now almost 13, nearly turned her back on faith as a result of the cold shoulder she was given there.

 

We stayed out of church for nearly a year afterwards simply out of fear of a repeat. At our new church, they have put their arms around us as a family, loved on DD and the others and reignited DD's belief that God could still love her in spite of her disability. As the youth pastor said, these children have as much a right to know that God loves them as any other child...maybe they even need it more.

 

Sorry for the vent...this just touches a raw nerve. Not exactly the same situation, I know, but I guess I just needed a quick vent! Not meaning to hijack! ;). Anyway, to the OP, please just tread carefully with the family. Yes, you need to say something and protect the little ones in the class. However, the family will also forever remember what you say, so pray about it, try to come alongside the family and let them know they (and their child!) are loved.

[Impish]

I wouldn't be pleased if my kids were used at a chew toy or target.

 

And no, I don't consider it an acceptable rite of passage either. Other kids are unsafe in this situation, and it needs to be dealt w/.

[justLisa]

I think if a parent has a kid that is a safety concern around other kids, and nursery has tried everything reasonable, then the parent needs to find someone willing to stay with that child in the nursery the entire time.

[Forget-Me-Not]

Another question-do your volunteers receive any training? BSA has a number of free trainings on their website that are for people who volunteer with youth. The topics range from basic protection to bullying to special needs. Might be worth suggesting.

 

There is a manual and there are some training modules on the LDS website. And teachers are supposed to have regular 'inservice' meetings with the Primary Presidency (Primary covers everyone ages 18 mos- 12 yrs) to address issues and concerns, but I know my personal ward rarely has them. It's hard to get people to stick around after church for yet another meeting.

 

OP--have you heard back from your PP?

[MathNut]

I'd look for an adult who can shadow this child and help him negotiate problems BEFORE he acts out.

 

Initially, I'd get an adult who can shadow him for 4 to 6 weeks in a row. That person could be watching every interaction looking for the situations that trigger the inappropriate behavior - this will give some idea about his difficulties and where he needs help.

 

After noting patterns, I'd then have that adult teach him - very matter-of-factly how to solve the problems he is encountering. Now that folks are aware of his lagging skills - these skills can be taught before a problem situation arises and then reinforced right in the context of a problem he is having with another child.

 

 

 

If it is hard to get someone else to commit to doing this, maybe you can do it yourself, and get a teen helper to help with the other kids who don't require as much skill.

 

Best,

[garddwr]

There is a manual and there are some training modules on the LDS website. And teachers are supposed to have regular 'inservice' meetings with the Primary Presidency (Primary covers everyone ages 18 mos- 12 yrs) to address issues and concerns, but I know my personal ward rarely has them. It's hard to get people to stick around after church for yet another meeting.

 

OP--have you heard back from your PP?

 

Not yet. I know she's busy helping with some kind of summer camp this week. I've tried calling several times. I'm pretty sure we'll be able to work out getting another nursery worker though--I'm counting on it! I've never wanted to be responsible for the Primary, but if I am ever in that position I intend to make nursery a much higher priority:)

[Tap]

I would sit down with the parents and work together to make it a safe place for all the kids. It sounds like the aggressive kids need some one-on-one staff to work with them to use words and to find appropriate ways to let out their feelings. Working with the parents, you can set some goals and identify certain triggers that will set them off. The parents will likely be more honest about late nights and colds that may make the kids a bit grumpier than usual.

 

You also need someone to protect the other kids from them. Someone who is in the mix of kids, within an arms reach at all times, to try to step in and block the action.

 

DD5 is the aggressor. She needs more help than other kids to learn social skills. Without the opportunity to learn, she likely will not learn. She has to be taught things that other kids learn naturally. It sounds like this could be an opportunity for them to be taught some social skills and to be allowed to use them/practice them/master them (with some set backs of course).

 

I would not expect the parents to pull the kids from the nursery, but I would expect them to be part of finding a solution.

[MathNut]

I'd look for an adult who can shadow this child and help him negotiate problems BEFORE he acts out.

 

Initially, I'd get an adult who can shadow him for 4 to 6 weeks in a row. That person could be watching every interaction looking for the situations that trigger the inappropriate behavior - this will give some idea about his difficulties and where he needs help.

 

After noting patterns, I'd then have that adult teach him - very matter-of-factly how to solve the problems he is encountering. Now that folks are aware of his lagging skills - these skills can be taught before a problem situation arises and then reinforced right in the context of a problem he is having with another child.

 

 

 

If it is hard to get someone else to commit to doing this, maybe you can do it yourself, and get a teen helper to help with the other kids who don't require as much skill.

 

Best,

[amy g.]

When Dh and I had a child act out in our Sunday school class we asked the SS director what she wanted us to do. She said to call her every time he misbehaved, and she would immediately bring him to the class where his parents were teaching adult Sunday school, and he could sit with them.

 

I was a little taken aback, but she was adament that the class be a place where the other children and the teachers wanted to return to.

 

Dh and I never left our children in the nursery. We took turns staying with them, no matter how many other adults were present. Unfortunately, I have not gotten any more relaxed about my 5th child than I was with my first.

 

My oldest was very disruptive in group settings. She wasn't aggressive, but overstimulated. Imagine flapping and spinning during story time. The only way I could help her was to give her more and more opportunities and reminders to behave appropriately.

 

I started a preschool designed around her needs, and gave 2 scholarship spots to kids from the low income apartments nearby.

 

One of the scholarship students had a problem with biting. I had a meeting with the parents, and promised that I would shadow her, and redirect her BEFORE she hurt anyone, but if she bit again, she would have leave. She had perfect behavior for almost 6 months, but the second I went on maternity leave, the head teacher called to tell me that the child had bitten someone, and they had already kicked her out.

 

I called the parents to tell them how sorry I was. The dad said that he could not help feeling like she would have been given another chance if she was a paying student. I wish I could have disagreed with him.

 

Keeping the other children completely safe has to happen, if that can be achieved by having an extra adult or teenager help out, then everybody wins.

 

If that doesn't work, the parents will have to take care of him. It is completely not an option for children to be getting hurt under your care at church.

 

Good luck. I know what a tough situation you are in.

[Joanne]

OP, I just wanted to say what a gracious, kind job you did in not assigning negative intent to the kids or the parents while presenting this problem.

 

That shows a lot of impressive character.

[MathNut]

"OP, I just wanted to say what a gracious, kind job you did in not assigning negative intent to the kids or the parents while presenting this problem.j"

:iagree::iagree:

 

Kudos to you and I hope you can help the child manage situations more constructively.

[Candid]

And you were blessed to have that. My church did not.

 

It's not something that was given to our church, people worked hard to have it. There's almost always another option, the question is: is the group willing to have the other option?

[beaners]

I wouldn't say anything about early intervention unless I were much closer to the family, but I do think it can be an excellent resource for children who struggle with a wide range of issues, including social interactions--which both of these children do. My sister has used early intervention resources for two of her children, primarily to address problems in appropriate social responses and interactions with both adults and other children. She feels it has made a huge difference for her family. There is not in my mind any stigma attached to looking for outside experts to help children develop appropriate behaviors. Whether or not to seek outside intervention for your family is of course the domain of the parents, but if I were discussing such problems with a friend I would mention the possibility of getting an evaluation. I wouldn't be at all surprised if one or both of these children qualified for services. They do come across as "outside the norm" for children their age to me, though I struggle a little to put my finger on exactly why--maybe partly that they really don't seem to understand the structure of the class or how to interact with either the adults or the children? FWIW, Big Sister sometimes reminds me of my own 4 year old, and I have more than once considered seeking early intervention services for her! I have instead chosen to address whatever issues come up through my own intuition, research, and efforts--but I think seeking expert help is an entirely reasonable suggestion.

 

Sorry to post and then run! My internet has been down more often than not since we got those storms.

 

Obviously you have actually seen these children and none of us have. The description didn't seem to fit the early intervention criteria to me, but I may be accustomed to areas where those resources are very limited. I've known parents to have trouble getting services for children with severe speech delays because there just wasn't the money or the staff in the area. It's absolutely great for the children that your location is able to serve such a wide range of concerns, and getting an evaluation if you are unsure is a good first step. Like I said, the description didn't ring those bells for me because I'm just reading the words on the page. I'm sure it's a different experience to be there in person, and also if you're used to that level of service being available to parents.

[fairfarmhand]

I would probably have a sit down with the parents and the Sunday School director and figure out a good solution. This could be finding a person to shadow or keep these two children until they outgrow their issues. Or it could be finding a teacher or assistant for the other classes that the parents are teaching. But mom and dad need to know the issues that you are facing every sunday and they need to be a part of the solution.

 

 

These children need their parents. This is why my dh and I never teach classes at the same service. IT is just too complicated to figure out all the logisitics once you have kids.

[garddwr]

Sorry to post and then run! My internet has been down more often than not since we got those storms.

 

Obviously you have actually seen these children and none of us have. The description didn't seem to fit the early intervention criteria to me, but I may be accustomed to areas where those resources are very limited. I've known parents to have trouble getting services for children with severe speech delays because there just wasn't the money or the staff in the area. It's absolutely great for the children that your location is able to serve such a wide range of concerns, and getting an evaluation if you are unsure is a good first step. Like I said, the description didn't ring those bells for me because I'm just reading the words on the page. I'm sure it's a different experience to be there in person, and also if you're used to that level of service being available to parents.

 

My only real knowledge of early intervention comes from my sister's experience, so when someone mentioned the idea it seemed like a possibility. But my sister actually lives in a different state--a much more expensive state, with higher taxes, more government regulation, and of course more government services--there are always trade offs! I wouldn't be surprised at all if the services available in this state are more in line with your experience.

[Maus]

PP,

 

DH and I have had a nursery calling, and spent a lot of voluntary time in there with one DD who didn't take to it. DH LOVES nursery -- I think he might be ADD, because he sure doesn't like sitting through class. He'd much rather build puzzles or lego towers with two-year-olds.

 

If you can get someone else called, ask for a couple. Sometimes having a "daddy" in there totally changes the dynamic, especially for little boys. The days when DH (a diabetic) was too sick to attend, things were usually more chaotic.

 

Are the parents teaching the same class? It sounded like it. Technically, they only both have to be there for the lesson portion of their calling. During singing/sharing time, one of them can step out. Talk to your primary president about that. (For those of you reading along, the LDS church has a "two-deep" policy for all youth/child classes.)

 

--

 

It's possible the little boy doesn't behave like that at home, that it's his way of expressing frustration that Mommy has "abandoned" him. It wouldn't hurt to mention to his mom that "he seems to be having trouble adjusting to the separation" and then, what he has been doing. This may be the only time in his week when he's not with Mommy.

Edited July 3, 2012 by Maus

[blondeviolin]

There are a few things I would do. The first would be to get in contact with your primary president or a counselor. (In our ward, the second counselor oversees nursery.) I'd also chat with the parents about the difficulty you are having with their children.

 

If necessary, consider discussing with the primary presidency the possibility of having Dad sit in nursery until the behavior has simmered. Primary teachers DO NOT have to be two-deep. The handbook does discuss how men must teach with another man or a member of his family (except in cases of small branches). The parents could even have Dad in nursery during lesson and Mom in during sharing time. If it continues to be a problem, your primary president can even raise the concern with other higher leaders.

 

I'd also urge you to spend some time really getting to know these children outside of the church environment. Maybe you could meet at a park occasionally or something similar? Sometimes just a connection elsewhere can make a huge difference.

 

I can relate on so many different levels!

 

I'm the primary president in our ward and have a few children that my presidency prays over, plans for, etc. One little boy in our nursery has had such concerns and, after doing all that we could, I raised my concerns in ward council. Turns out, others were concerned for this family and they will now have help on other levels.

 

I am also the mom of a "difficult" child. Last Sunday, he persuaded his entire four-year-old class to climb the walls of his classroom. :glare: His teacher couldn't get them down (says Emmett: "She is not your mom!") and she was near tears. As his mom, I don't want his teacher to glaze over any issues he may have...otherwise I can't address them at home!

[kolamum]

:grouphug: I know someone who's baby was kicked out of the nursery for constant biting, hitting, & scratching. Considering my child was a victim outside of the nursery {drew blood constant time} I'm glad it happened. I KNOW that sounds mean, but this child was kicked out of two nurseries & had to draw blood on my sweet baby in front of an adult that was responsible for her before the adults in the child's life FINALLY dealt with it. In fact, the action they took that very moment caused that child never to bite my kid again.