Are my kids the only ones that HATE school?

[mothergooseof4]

I am sick of it! They hate all things school. If I change a curriculum to another that is supposed to be more fun, they still don't like it. If I let them choose what to read, they don't want to do it. If I read it all to them, it is boring. If I require them read it themselves, it is boring. If I get a math workbook and work through it with them, they hate it. If I switch to doing tons of work with manipulatives, they CRY! If I do a dvd based course, the teacher is boring, or goofy, or whatever. If I use TT, the voice is boring. If we skip school and watch documentaries, they are boring. If we do more hands on stuff, I am making them do MORE work and they just want to get their work done and move on. Most hands on does not go over well here.

 

You get the picture. They hate all things school related. They just want to play. It doesn't matter if I try to make school fun or not, they will not enjoy it. I gave up making school fun long ago and it became just about getting it done.

 

We could take a break, but we have been lazy with school most of the year and are only about half done with our MFW core and 3/4 with math and LA. We have had our breaks, we have made library trips, we have spent weeks just playing, or been interrupted by trips and such. So, burn out is not their problem.

 

I don't know what the answer is or what I even came here for except to vent. We just had one of those days where everyone has complained. Yes, they have been reprimanded for their attitudes, but the truth is that they hate school and I have tried everything to make it better. But, other than cancelling school for good, I can't think of a solution and illiterate children is NOT an option.

[keyjoh62080]

My children ages 6 & 8 hated all things school until we switched to Heart of Dakota and we've all been loving it an happier ever since. It was a good switch as I was getting really burnt out trying to come up with ideas to make our days fun. I remember coming here posting a question...."DOes homeschooling HAVE to be fun?". Now I just open the manuals and go. School gets done joyfully and with good attitudes....no planning and less stress for mom.

[SunnyDays]

Mother Goose, how old are your kids?? That might give some insight.

 

Although certain arrangements may be received better than others, I don't think it's about finding the perfect curriculum. Sometimes, I have to remind my DS that school isn't *always* supposed to be fun and that life is not *always* dreamy and exciting. Learning is important... sometimes it's fun, sometimes it's just necessary. When he gets an attitude, it gets adjusted. I only have one child, and it probably doesn't help that yours are feeding off one another, most likely.

 

Sending you hugs, it's very difficult to go through times like this.

[BlueTaelon]

Right there with you, mine don't like it either no matter what I do so it's become a matter of making them do it period. Life isn't all about fun, fun, fun for everything.

[LAmom]

:grouphug: My kids (the 8yo and 6yo) hate school. The 8yo will just tolerate it and the 6yo basically cries every time I get him to try to do some reading... It is partially my fault. Routine has been off for about 7 weeks...waiting for baby and then adjusting to new baby.

 

They just want to play--I just want to clean, organize, etc. We barely get anything done. We dropped MFW ECC and are trying to just do reading, math and english. Bare minimum...

 

So, no advice, just I get it. Every day I feel like I fail and it would be best to just send them to school. At least they would learn something! It is hard to make school a priority. Thankfully, my 8yo at least loves reading and reads a lot on her own.

 

:bigear:

[Lang Syne Boardie]

Please hear this as a gentle reminder from an older sister and not a reaming-out, we're all Moms and we all want to make life fun for our little ones, so you are understood here....

 

But, Moms, you wouldn't allow this over tooth-brushing. You wouldn't care so much about their little feelings if the issue was over letting their teeth rot out, or whether they would go to the dentist or doctor, or about vegetables at dinner or speaking respectfully to parents or destroying others' property...

 

Please consider taking an entirely new tone, starting Monday morning, that sounds more like, "Mama loves you and wants you to enjoy your homeschooling day, but we are going to do it whether you like it or not. I am responsible for educating you according to the law and according to my own belief about what is right, and a good education means that we study every day. Now get your pencils and your books."

 

And then nip every attitude problem in the bud. "I'm sorry I've let you become whiny over math, but last Friday was your last day to do that. Stop complaining, we are only doing three problems today." See that the three problems are done promptly, or administer whatever consequence is usual in your family. They'll think they fell down a rabbit hole but they'll adjust.

 

Which leads to another point: Take a page from Charlotte Mason's book and keep lessons very short at first. Only exact from them what you are sure they can accomplish. Insist on total attention, even if you only do three math problems the first day. Part of the goal is to teach them to work with diligence and good character, and that's even harder than copying sentences. That's why we start small. Better six words with good attitude and concentration than half a page done slowly with fussing...besides, the fussing day makes it so much harder for Mom to have the courage to do it again tomorrow!

 

The six words done successfully give confidence to student and teacher. Work your way up from there. This will work if you are diligent to teach them your expectations every single school day.

 

I hope I haven't offended. Mothergooseofthree, you've stated one of your goals: Illiterate children are not an option. That means that you work every day whether they like it or not. It's up to you to make it happen. Channel Mary Poppins: "I am kind, but I am very firm."

Edited May 18, 2012 by Tibbie Dunbar

[sleeplessnights]

For us, I get whines and groans when I haven't been consistent and they think they can get out of something. I would set a reasonable amount of work ahead of time, show them what's expected, and don't let them get out of it! For example, my oldest knows he doesn't get a break until he does math, grammar, and spelling. Then I use the timer for a 30-minute break. Then he knows he has to do his Latin and has a break until after lunch, etc.

 

Remarkably, this also works for chores and other expectations...

 

Oh, and whining isn't allowed. I make my kids run around the block when they talk bad about their schoolwork. Then they have to sit down and do it.

 

Good luck!

[mothergooseof4]

My children ages 6 & 8 hated all things school until we switched to Heart of Dakota and we've all been loving it an happier ever since. It was a good switch as I was getting really burnt out trying to come up with ideas to make our days fun. I remember coming here posting a question...."DOes homeschooling HAVE to be fun?". Now I just open the manuals and go. School gets done joyfully and with good attitudes....no planning and less stress for mom.

 

We switched FROM HOD a couple of years ago. I used it with my oldest for a few years and I liked it for one child, but running multiple guides did not go over well here. I like combining for content subjects. Curriculum changes is not the answer. Straight forward, hands on, independent or mom-led...none of it matters.

 

Mother Goose, how old are your kids?? That might give some insight.

 

Although certain arrangements may be received better than others, I don't think it's about finding the perfect curriculum. Sometimes, I have to remind my DS that school isn't *always* supposed to be fun and that life is not *always* dreamy and exciting. Learning is important... sometimes it's fun, sometimes it's just necessary. When he gets an attitude, it gets adjusted. I only have one child, and it probably doesn't help that yours are feeding off one another, most likely.

 

Sending you hugs, it's very difficult to go through times like this.

 

Kids are finishing 2nd, 3rd, and 6th.

 

I agree that school doesn't have to be fun. I gave up trying to make it fun and I just want it to be done with no attitude. And, yes, they do feed off of each other.

 

Right there with you, mine don't like it either no matter what I do so it's become a matter of making them do it period. Life isn't all about fun, fun, fun for everything.

 

Somethings are work. I enjoy learning, but only came to that place as an adult. School is work for kids. Just like I don't enjoy doing laundry, it is my work and I choose to do it with a position attitude....well, most of the time.

 

:grouphug: My kids (the 8yo and 6yo) hate school. The 8yo will just tolerate it and the 6yo basically cries every time I get him to try to do some reading... It is partially my fault. Routine has been off for about 7 weeks...waiting for baby and then adjusting to new baby.

 

They just want to play--I just want to clean, organize, etc. We barely get anything done. We dropped MFW ECC and are trying to just do reading, math and english. Bare minimum...

 

So, no advice, just I get it. Every day I feel like I fail and it would be best to just send them to school. At least they would learn something! It is hard to make school a priority. Thankfully, my 8yo at least loves reading and reads a lot on her own.

 

:bigear:

 

This is probably a LOT of our problem. I have homeschooled a total of eleven years (hsed another child for four years before my own) and prefer to school year round. Since I know I have all year, I get side tracked and we don't have a schedule. My daily plan is to get up and get right to school everyday, but the kids know that I will often get distracted with a project or cleaning/organizing and we never get to school. If I sleep in a bit or get up and start other stuff they disappear or are being so creative on their own that I hate to interrupt. Plus, we have had so many things this year that took time to prepare for (trips or such), then took us away or at least some of us, and then took time to recover from. So, I often just gave up trying to do school for a week to two because of these things. Or, I will need to get school done quickly because we have other things going on so I will just tell them to do math and read something. I know they wake up with the hopes that mom will "forget" to do school each day. Then, when I call them to start our day, they grumble.

 

This week, I have made sure to get up before them for my coffee and prayer time. Then I call them out of bed to the couch for a short read aloud just to give them time to wake up. While they are eating a quick breakfast I read Bible and history to them. After which they get a short break while I prepare their individual work. Honestly, I think if I continue this things should improve. They don't get into their other adventures and therefore have to leave their fun.

 

I am thinking that what might help beyond dealing with attitude adjustments, is to make a calendar that shows what days school will happen and then, the hard part, MOM sticking to it. I think my fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants schedule is much of the problem. I don't think this will cause them to LIKE school any better, but at least they will KNOW that it will happen, but on a certain day, there is a scheduled break. Even if I can only schedule one month at a time (things get added to our calendar at the last minute) they need to know that if the calendar says school will happen tomorrow, it WILL happen and no disappearing tricks will get them out of it. That combined with a routine that starts first thing in the morning should help. I need to make school MY priority and it is in my long-term thinking, but in my daily life, it has become something that gets pushed aside for things I would prefer to do. This has got to stop since my oldest's workload is increasing.

[mothergooseof4]

Please hear this as a gentle reminder from an older sister and not a reaming-out, we're all Moms and we all want to make life fun for our little ones, so you are understood here....

 

But, Moms, you wouldn't allow this over tooth-brushing. You wouldn't care so much about their little feelings if the issue was over letting their teeth rot out, or whether they would go to the dentist or doctor, or about vegetables at dinner or speaking respectfully to parents or destroying others' property...

 

Please consider taking an entirely new tone, starting Monday morning, that sounds more like, "Mama loves you and wants you to enjoy your homeschooling day, but we are going to do it whether you like it or not. I am responsible for educating you according to the law and according to my own belief about what is right, and a good education means that we study every day. Now get your pencils and your books."

 

And then nip every attitude problem in the bud. "I'm sorry I've let you become whiny over math, but last Friday was your last day to do that. Stop complaining, we are only doing three problems today." See that the three problems are done promptly, or administer whatever consequence is usual in your family. They'll think they fell down a rabbit hole but they'll adjust.

 

Which leads to another point: Take a page from Charlotte Mason's book and keep lessons very short at first. Only exact from them what you are sure they can accomplish. Insist on total attention, even if you only do three math problems the first day. Part of the goal is to teach them to work with diligence and good character, and that's even harder than copying sentences. That's why we start small. Better six words with good attitude and concentration than half a page done slowly with fussing...besides, the fussing day makes it so much harder for Mom to have the courage to do it again tomorrow!

 

The six words done successfully give confidence to student and teacher. Work your way up from there. This will work if you are diligent to teach them your expectations every single school day.

 

I hope I haven't offended. Mothergooseofthree, you've stated one of your goals: Illiterate children are not an option. That means that you work every day whether they like it or not. It's up to you to make it happen. Channel Mary Poppins: "I am kind, but I am very firm."

 

No offense. No, I don't let them get out of other things for whining and whining doesn't get them out of school either. I know I need to deal with attitude over all else.

 

For us, I get whines and groans when I haven't been consistent and they think they can get out of something. I would set a reasonable amount of work ahead of time, show them what's expected, and don't let them get out of it! For example, my oldest knows he doesn't get a break until he does math, grammar, and spelling. Then I use the timer for a 30-minute break. Then he knows he has to do his Latin and has a break until after lunch, etc.

 

Remarkably, this also works for chores and other expectations...

 

Oh, and whining isn't allowed. I make my kids run around the block when they talk bad about their schoolwork. Then they have to sit down and do it.

 

Good luck!

 

I do believe consistency is a big part of our problem. A much stricter schedule is due and I HATE schedules. But, I think it will help just for them to know that school will happen on certain days barring a disaster of some sort. Then that a fun day is scheduled at a certain time because they also know that when mom gets legalistic about something, I have a hard time letting loose. I tend to be all or nothing!

[Embassy]

I greatly desire my children to love learning and school in general. It is a work in progress. The child's personality has a lot to do with it. That said I do these things to help promote a love for learning:

 

- Teach my children that it is a privilege to go to school and be educated. We learn about lives of children around the world who do not have their opportunities. We are far from rich according to standards of those who live in my area, but my children believe we are rich because they know how much North Americans have compared to a good portion of the world.

 

- I do not tolerate whining. If they whine they get to do an extra chore. If they choose to whine about their school they can spend more time working like many children have to do around the world.

 

- I seek to keep my children engaged and keep school interesting. I try to choose curriculum, books, and activities that will connect with them.

 

- I try to use materials, curriculum, and activities that excite me. It is much easier to create an atmosphere of enjoyment if I am having fun.

[Anne]

Please hear this as a gentle reminder from an older sister and not a reaming-out, we're all Moms and we all want to make life fun for our little ones, so you are understood here....

 

But, Moms, you wouldn't allow this over tooth-brushing. You wouldn't care so much about their little feelings if the issue was over letting their teeth rot out, or whether they would go to the dentist or doctor, or about vegetables at dinner or speaking respectfully to parents or destroying others' property...

 

Please consider taking an entirely new tone, starting Monday morning, that sounds more like, "Mama loves you and wants you to enjoy your homeschooling day, but we are going to do it whether you like it or not. I am responsible for educating you according to the law and according to my own belief about what is right, and a good education means that we study every day. Now get your pencils and your books."

 

And then nip every attitude problem in the bud. "I'm sorry I've let you become whiny over math, but last Friday was your last day to do that. Stop complaining, we are only doing three problems today." See that the three problems are done promptly, or administer whatever consequence is usual in your family. They'll think they fell down a rabbit hole but they'll adjust.

 

Which leads to another point: Take a page from Charlotte Mason's book and keep lessons very short at first. Only exact from them what you are sure they can accomplish. Insist on total attention, even if you only do three math problems the first day. Part of the goal is to teach them to work with diligence and good character, and that's even harder than copying sentences. That's why we start small. Better six words with good attitude and concentration than half a page done slowly with fussing...besides, the fussing day makes it so much harder for Mom to have the courage to do it again tomorrow!

 

The six words done successfully give confidence to student and teacher. Work your way up from there. This will work if you are diligent to teach them your expectations every single school day.

 

I hope I haven't offended. Mothergooseofthree, you've stated one of your goals: Illiterate children are not an option. That means that you work every day whether they like it or not. It's up to you to make it happen. Channel Mary Poppins: "I am kind, but I am very firm."

 

:iagree: This is very well said!!

 

Anne

[Tanikit]

I think you voiced the solution to your problem yourself - I think a routine and consistency would definitely help because just as with teeth brushing there is only so many times you can argue about it before you just step into line and do it because that is the routine and there is no arguing that will help.

 

"Yes, it might be boring, but that is what we are going to do today," should help some.

 

Only after you have got the routine in place and have them working without moaning too much would I try again to add some fun back into it by giving them some choice in what they want to learn and helping them set up some sort of project based on their own interests - and this would be in addition to all the expected math and LA and so on.

[Heart_Mom]

Please hear this as a gentle reminder from an older sister and not a reaming-out, we're all Moms and we all want to make life fun for our little ones, so you are understood here....

 

But, Moms, you wouldn't allow this over tooth-brushing. You wouldn't care so much about their little feelings if the issue was over letting their teeth rot out, or whether they would go to the dentist or doctor, or about vegetables at dinner or speaking respectfully to parents or destroying others' property...

 

Please consider taking an entirely new tone, starting Monday morning, that sounds more like, "Mama loves you and wants you to enjoy your homeschooling day, but we are going to do it whether you like it or not. I am responsible for educating you according to the law and according to my own belief about what is right, and a good education means that we study every day. Now get your pencils and your books."

 

And then nip every attitude problem in the bud. "I'm sorry I've let you become whiny over math, but last Friday was your last day to do that. Stop complaining, we are only doing three problems today." See that the three problems are done promptly, or administer whatever consequence is usual in your family. They'll think they fell down a rabbit hole but they'll adjust.

 

Which leads to another point: Take a page from Charlotte Mason's book and keep lessons very short at first. Only exact from them what you are sure they can accomplish. Insist on total attention, even if you only do three math problems the first day. Part of the goal is to teach them to work with diligence and good character, and that's even harder than copying sentences. That's why we start small. Better six words with good attitude and concentration than half a page done slowly with fussing...besides, the fussing day makes it so much harder for Mom to have the courage to do it again tomorrow!

 

The six words done successfully give confidence to student and teacher. Work your way up from there. This will work if you are diligent to teach them your expectations every single school day.

 

I hope I haven't offended. Mothergooseofthree, you've stated one of your goals: Illiterate children are not an option. That means that you work every day whether they like it or not. It's up to you to make it happen. Channel Mary Poppins: "I am kind, but I am very firm."

 

I'm not the OP, but this post it very encouraging and instructive! :001_smile:

[Critterfixer]

This is probably a LOT of our problem. I have homeschooled a total of eleven years (hsed another child for four years before my own) and prefer to school year round. Since I know I have all year, I get side tracked and we don't have a schedule. My daily plan is to get up and get right to school everyday, but the kids know that I will often get distracted with a project or cleaning/organizing and we never get to school. If I sleep in a bit or get up and start other stuff they disappear or are being so creative on their own that I hate to interrupt. Plus, we have had so many things this year that took time to prepare for (trips or such), then took us away or at least some of us, and then took time to recover from. So, I often just gave up trying to do school for a week to two because of these things. Or, I will need to get school done quickly because we have other things going on so I will just tell them to do math and read something. I know they wake up with the hopes that mom will "forget" to do school each day. Then, when I call them to start our day, they grumble.

 

This week, I have made sure to get up before them for my coffee and prayer time. Then I call them out of bed to the couch for a short read aloud just to give them time to wake up. While they are eating a quick breakfast I read Bible and history to them. After which they get a short break while I prepare their individual work. Honestly, I think if I continue this things should improve. They don't get into their other adventures and therefore have to leave their fun.

 

I am thinking that what might help beyond dealing with attitude adjustments, is to make a calendar that shows what days school will happen and then, the hard part, MOM sticking to it. I think my fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants schedule is much of the problem. I don't think this will cause them to LIKE school any better, but at least they will KNOW that it will happen, but on a certain day, there is a scheduled break. Even if I can only schedule one month at a time (things get added to our calendar at the last minute) they need to know that if the calendar says school will happen tomorrow, it WILL happen and no disappearing tricks will get them out of it. That combined with a routine that starts first thing in the morning should help. I need to make school MY priority and it is in my long-term thinking, but in my daily life, it has become something that gets pushed aside for things I would prefer to do. This has got to stop since my oldest's workload is increasing.

 

There is a thread about peace in homeschool that may interest you. We all have different approaches to trying to find peace and joy in teaching and in our lives, and you might find something there to help.

For me, it was in first taking care of myself and the things that I knew must be done for the atmosphere to be peaceful and serene. That's going to be different for everyone, but for myself, I couldn't project that aura of calm contentment unless I knew when things were going to happen.

For me, the breakthrough was creating a schedule that was reasonable, flexible, yet consistant enough to allow for life.

To me a schedule isn't supposed to be a straightjacket. It's supposed to work for you, not against you. I'd start by figuring out what time you need for YOU--(exercise, self-education time, planning, housekeeping) and then decide what your school hours will be.

It's actually not all about school. For me, knowing the time was there for me to go for my run, to study my reading material, to write, and to clean the house, do the shopping, take care of my animals, etc....knowing where that time was and when I could do it solved a lot of problems.

[ErinE]

Another Tibbie Post on my Fridge.

 

 

We have this conversation every few months. When attitude becomes unmanageable, a family meeting is required. My dh and I remind the kids why we homeschool, what is expected from us as the parent, and what is expected from the child. We ask what they want out of their education and take it into consideration when planning schoolwork, but we let them know that there is a minimum standard that we all must meet.

 

 

If you don't already do this, I would encourage you to have "learn something new" at the library. Before my kids can check out their "free" books, I require them to pick a subject they want to learn more about and bring me the books before browsing on their own. Reading of the material and discussion or narration is then incorporated into school the following week. This gives them some control over their education.

 

Please hear this as a gentle reminder from an older sister and not a reaming-out, we're all Moms and we all want to make life fun for our little ones, so you are understood here....

 

But, Moms, you wouldn't allow this over tooth-brushing. You wouldn't care so much about their little feelings if the issue was over letting their teeth rot out, or whether they would go to the dentist or doctor, or about vegetables at dinner or speaking respectfully to parents or destroying others' property...

 

Please consider taking an entirely new tone, starting Monday morning, that sounds more like, "Mama loves you and wants you to enjoy your homeschooling day, but we are going to do it whether you like it or not. I am responsible for educating you according to the law and according to my own belief about what is right, and a good education means that we study every day. Now get your pencils and your books."

 

And then nip every attitude problem in the bud. "I'm sorry I've let you become whiny over math, but last Friday was your last day to do that. Stop complaining, we are only doing three problems today." See that the three problems are done promptly, or administer whatever consequence is usual in your family. They'll think they fell down a rabbit hole but they'll adjust.

 

Which leads to another point: Take a page from Charlotte Mason's book and keep lessons very short at first. Only exact from them what you are sure they can accomplish. Insist on total attention, even if you only do three math problems the first day. Part of the goal is to teach them to work with diligence and good character, and that's even harder than copying sentences. That's why we start small. Better six words with good attitude and concentration than half a page done slowly with fussing...besides, the fussing day makes it so much harder for Mom to have the courage to do it again tomorrow!

 

The six words done successfully give confidence to student and teacher. Work your way up from there. This will work if you are diligent to teach them your expectations every single school day.

 

I hope I haven't offended. Mothergooseofthree, you've stated one of your goals: Illiterate children are not an option. That means that you work every day whether they like it or not. It's up to you to make it happen. Channel Mary Poppins: "I am kind, but I am very firm."

[mama27]

I think that because there are a lot of families whose kids enjoy school work, that a lot of us moms feel like if our kids don't enjoy it somehow we have failed. My kids don't see any of it as fun and for YEARS I tried everything I could think of to make it more enjoyable so they'd be like "those" kids who smile their way through the experiments that never fail or cuddle on the couch without fighting, listening intently while I read some wonderful book.

One day I was in Walmart and saw one of "those" families. About 4 or 5 kids, a couple boys, shirts tucked in, walking quietly with their mom, while my hooligans were all over the place and wild-looking and LOUD and i realized I'm ok with that. Most days. lol

Somehow I just don't have whatever it takes to have those kids and if God wanted me to have them He would have made them that way but he didn't.

Maybe cuz "I" don't like shirts tucked in. lol Or belts unless needed and then I wonder why people just don't get clothes that fit. lol

So, maybe your kids won't enjoy doing school work. Whatever. Just het what they need, make them do it like anything else they are required to do and get on with your life.

HTH!!!

[mskelly]

Thanks for posting this! I needed to read all of these replies also.

 

I would love to have kids fully engaged in every lesson I'm teaching. But I don't! I try to tell myself that makes them normal kids, it doesn't make me a bad teacher. :001_smile:

 

Someday I THINK my DS7 will learn it is just easier to copy the *&%$ sentence and be done with it than it is to argue with mom, get a consequence for arguing with mom, and STILL having to write the sentence! :lol:

[happypamama]

So many great words of wisdom in this thread already!

 

My children have completed their state-required 180 days for this year, and they will be finishing up the last few items next week. My plan is to give them about five or six weeks (until the first week of July) where they have a break. I'm still going to limit screen time like I usually do, but I think having a mental break will help them be fresh and interested in new books and new topics come July.

 

In the meantime, during that break from school, I want to work very hard and drill our routines. We've gotten a bit lazy about getting morning chores done in a timely fashion (a lot of which is my fault), and this year in general has been a little chaotic with a new baby in the house. So I am hoping that getting back to reasonable bedtimes and waketimes and everything will help us be set in stone so that when the new school year starts, we're ready. I am also working like a dog to have things planned, so that it's easier for *me* to have things ready to go every day.

[RootAnn]

My kids don't particularly like school. And we are consistent about it, allowing just enough flexibility that it isn't a straight-jacket.

 

My dd#2 (almost 9 yrs old) is going through a really tough phase -- possibly accelerated to a breaking point by vision therapy exercises that she feels didn't help her at all.

 

My kids are not natural learners that love to pick up books (other than fantasy/fairy or fluff) to learn on their own. Checklists fail miserably after Day 1. Them directing their learning fails miserably - whether they get some input or the whole kid & kaboodle.

 

I so feel Mother Goose of Three's pain. We do Tibbie's plan (same basic idea) everyday around here. No matter what, they won't like it. We all suck it up & deal.

[Pen]

Great thread and replies!

 

I'm finding too much (too many programs, choices, etc.) can be a problem and am trying to cut back to just a little for the summer part of our year round. Too many choices --past the point of being able to mix it up a little -- starts to make it seem like it is my job to make it fun, and can get to be like too much of anything else that is good in moderation, but can be surfeiting in excess.

 

I have also found that interest can come with greater mastery (reading used to be boring, now it is the favorite subject, the difference being that what can be read is now exciting and fun). Also like with new foods sometimes it takes a few tries for something to be liked. For example, a first attempt at a book review was rejected and grumbled at, but this week on a second attempt, suddenly was the best loved assignment of the week.

[3browneyedboys4me]

The best home school years we have are the years that I begin WELL prepared. I have everything picked out well in advance. I have everything scheduled on my calendar, and I am absolutely rigid with a weekly schedule. I think that these things allow my children to understand a few things.

 

1. They know what to expect every single day. They usually have the week in front of them at a glance. Then, they have the day scheduled.

2. They have visible goals. They can see the importance of their work.

3. They know we are going to stick to the schedule. So, whining isn't going to change anything. ;)

4. If I'm not prepared, they won't take it serious b/c they assume I don't.

 

This has NOT been one of those prepared years. :glare: And, I have had more whining than EVER from them. However, I have a two yr old. It's been tough. But, next year I am going to knock their little socks off and can't wait! lol! I've warned them. So, they can't say they haven't been warned!!!:lol:

[OK Family]

Please hear this as a gentle reminder from an older sister and not a reaming-out, we're all Moms and we all want to make life fun for our little ones, so you are understood here....

 

But, Moms, you wouldn't allow this over tooth-brushing. You wouldn't care so much about their little feelings if the issue was over letting their teeth rot out, or whether they would go to the dentist or doctor, or about vegetables at dinner or speaking respectfully to parents or destroying others' property...

 

Please consider taking an entirely new tone, starting Monday morning, that sounds more like, "Mama loves you and wants you to enjoy your homeschooling day, but we are going to do it whether you like it or not. I am responsible for educating you according to the law and according to my own belief about what is right, and a good education means that we study every day. Now get your pencils and your books."

 

And then nip every attitude problem in the bud. "I'm sorry I've let you become whiny over math, but last Friday was your last day to do that. Stop complaining, we are only doing three problems today." See that the three problems are done promptly, or administer whatever consequence is usual in your family. They'll think they fell down a rabbit hole but they'll adjust.

 

Which leads to another point: Take a page from Charlotte Mason's book and keep lessons very short at first. Only exact from them what you are sure they can accomplish. Insist on total attention, even if you only do three math problems the first day. Part of the goal is to teach them to work with diligence and good character, and that's even harder than copying sentences. That's why we start small. Better six words with good attitude and concentration than half a page done slowly with fussing...besides, the fussing day makes it so much harder for Mom to have the courage to do it again tomorrow!

 

The six words done successfully give confidence to student and teacher. Work your way up from there. This will work if you are diligent to teach them your expectations every single school day.

 

I hope I haven't offended. Mothergooseofthree, you've stated one of your goals: Illiterate children are not an option. That means that you work every day whether they like it or not. It's up to you to make it happen. Channel Mary Poppins: "I am kind, but I am very firm."

 

I am also not the OP but needed this. I also think it may help my sons math habits. He also daydreams or something, causing math to drag on. Then after all the time spent on math he gets alot wrong. I've been wanting to take the summer to correct some of the bad habits. He is finishing Abeka 3 and he can add,I don't think he pays enough attention.

[redsquirrel]

Well of course they whine and fight, they have no idea what is going to happen from day to day. If things are regular then they know what to expect, They know when lessons are due to start and finish. When you have a routine they know what will be expected of them.

 

I wouldn't like a job where I had a boss who may or may not call me in to work on any given day. I wouldn't know how to plan. Should I start a game? Start a book? Will I be able to finish? And if I do get called in to work, I have no idea what will be asked of me. Am I going to be there for an hour? 10 hours? If it isn't something that you make the centerpiece of your day, then why should they?

 

If you make it like a job, non-negotiable and automatic, then there is much less resistance. It is what you do before you do other things. And if there is fretting, ignore it as much as possible. I tell my kids at such times, "I didn't ask if you liked it. I asked if you were done with your work." Those are the days that "if you would stop complaining about it you would be done by now" is a useful mantra.

[Annie Laurie]

Tibbie's and Redsquirrel's posts are right on. I went through a period of time of trying different things in the hopes of making my kids like school, and every time they complained about how boring it was, I'd try to solve it: I'd let them try something else, or change my approach, or worry that I wasn't accommodating their learning style. But no matter what curriculum we used or what order we did lessons in or how I tried to make things fun, they complained.

 

I finally just stopped trying to make them happy. There are no LDs and I'm confident that what we use works fine for their learning style and that my expectations are reasonable. Once they knew that this is just what we're going to do every day, they settled into the routine and now they look forward to it for the most part. Even when they have to do what isn't their favorite, they enjoy the feeling of accomplishment they get when they buckle down and do it anyway. When we take breaks they're happy to be back to school and their routine again.

 

Plus, I made it a rule that when there is a genuine problem they can always approach me with that, but complaining about what we're doing for school or what I made for dinner, and so on, is disrespectful of me and my time and is not allowed. They can dislike dictation, for example, but they don't have to say it out loud.

[redsquirrel]

Plus, I made it a rule that when there is a genuine problem they can always approach me with that, but complaining about what we're doing for school or what I made for dinner, and so on, is disrespectful of me and my time and is not allowed. They can dislike dictation, for example, but they don't have to say it out loud.

:iagree:

 

My kids know they can always talk (not whine) to me about what we are doing. They know they are part of this crazy process. Education isn't something that is done TO them, it is done WITH them. I show them samples and talk to them about what the year will look like. Occasionally, I have picked an actual dud. But, generally, I find the problem is the weather (too dark or too sunny) or not enough sleep (usually mine).

 

My kids are even allowed to say they don't like dictation. They can tell me, I will empathizes, because I know how hard it is to have to do something that I don't like in the moment, but I know will have later rewards. Then we do dictation.

 

I have a suggestion in case this helps anyone: get a small whiteboard for each kid. In the evening write out a simple list of the subjects that will be covered the next day. It doesn't have to have page numbers or anything. Just a list. When you start lessons give each child their white board and tell them those are their jobs for the day. When they finish a subject they can wipe it off. When their board is white, they are done for the day and can play to their heart's content. But, until that board is wiped off, they are not done. Can they go outside to play while brother does math? Well, yes, but that means it will take longer to get everything on their list wiped off. You would hate to see them doing school work after dinner when everyone else is relaxing. You job as parent is to help your child achieve that goal. It your child's job to get the work done. You want them to succeed. You are there to help them succeed, but they have to get it done.

[Pen]

:iagree:

 

My kids know they can always talk (not whine) to me about what we are doing. They know they are part of this crazy process. Education isn't something that is done TO them, it is done WITH them. I show them samples and talk to them about what the year will look like. Occasionally, I have picked an actual dud. But, generally, I find the problem is the weather (too dark or too sunny) or not enough sleep (usually mine).

 

My kids are even allowed to say they don't like dictation. They can tell me, I will empathizes, because I know how hard it is to have to do something that I don't like in the moment, but I know will have later rewards. Then we do dictation.

 

I have a suggestion in case this helps anyone: get a small whiteboard for each kid. In the evening write out a simple list of the subjects that will be covered the next day. It doesn't have to have page numbers or anything. Just a list. When you start lessons give each child their white board and tell them those are their jobs for the day. When they finish a subject they can wipe it off. When their board is white, they are done for the day and can play to their heart's content. But, until that board is wiped off, they are not done. Can they go outside to play while brother does math? Well, yes, but that means it will take longer to get everything on their list wiped off. You would hate to see them doing school work after dinner when everyone else is relaxing. You job as parent is to help your child achieve that goal. It your child's job to get the work done. You want them to succeed. You are there to help them succeed, but they have to get it done.

 

This is similar to my checklist system which works pretty well because what must be done is clear, but I don't have to write anything out each night. I have a typed sheet of paper that goes in a plastic sleeve that can be written on with whiteboard crayons. It specifies things like [ ] 1 hour math

[ ] 1 hour science or history [ ] 15 minutes art or music ... etc. These have to be checked off each day (so do chores). It is also possible to defer a certain amount to weekend (like homework), but not to extent that it cannot get caught up on weekend. It is also possible to negotiate things like doing history reading while I am driving on errands, or doing a long day on art once in the week instead of 15 minutes each day. What I need to change (besides that summer will be less time intensive on schoolwork), is a spot for more specificity, such as [ ] 30 min. "IEW", or "Writing Skills" rather than just "writing". Some subjects are "do the next thing" and are thus very clear, but writing, with the plethora of programs I am using, is not clear, and is also the area that is now hardest and thus gets the most grumbling.

[SunnyDays]

I just want to say that my fridge isn't big enough for all Tibbie's posts, so I think I'm going to get a binder... :D

 

OP, I do think the checklist system would help. We do something very simple as well: a simple Word document with a table. Columns are days of the week, rows across are subjects. Each Sunday evening, I sit down and put everything on the "grid" that needs to be done each day of the week. It doesn't take that long now that I have a routine. And every day, DS knows exactly what needs done. Does he still whine occasionally? Of course, he's a kid. But he knows the expectations. I hope you're finding some inspiration to help things along!!

[alisoncooks]

I'm thankful the OP posted her situation b/c I'm finding all of the replies helpful.

[laundrycrisis]

Sometimes, I have to remind my DS that school isn't *always* supposed to be fun and that life is not *always* dreamy and exciting. Learning is important... sometimes it's fun, sometimes it's just necessary. When he gets an attitude, it gets adjusted.

 

This is what I do. He has to do it whether he's interested or finds it fun or not. Basic skills are essential. Not optional. He has to do it. Then he can go make his own fun.

[woolybear]

A couple of things that I have found that help here:

 

~Having them do school at different times. One bad attitude or behavior would affect the other. School was often less joyful and longer when they worked at the same time. I tried just having them in separate rooms, but then they would both NEED me at the same time. When they are working one at a time, they don't need me as much.

 

~Allowing school to start later. For a long time, I felt like we should get up, eat, and then get right down to school. Granted, it's nice to get it out of the way and have the rest of the day free. And we do do this sometimes. More often than not, though, these days school gets going around 10 or 11! This gives us all time to do our own thing in the morning. The difference is they know they will have to stop at some point and do school. If one of them wants to go play outside or something else, I usually say yes, but let them know the time frame. Like, "Sure, go play, but you'll need to come in in half an hour and do school."

 

~Workboxes for my younger has helped him see what's coming for the day's work and even be able to work more independently. He has even a couple of times just gone in and did all his work without asking if he needed to start.

 

***none of these things mean that school is fun. It just means there is less whining (theirs) and crying (mine). And sometimes it actually is fun.

[RegularMom]

I agree with Tibbie. Do your children gush their thanks for all the broccoli you've prepared, and the lessons in how to load a dishwasher, or clean the cat litter? Mine don't. ;) And I'm not really one to turn cat litter into a fun and rewarding activity.

 

My girls don't like doing school. It used to haunt me. It made me feel like I was doing it wrong somehow. Homeschool was supposed to be fun. But then I came to my senses, luckily before I started doing a lot of curriculum hopping, looking for the magic workbook that would bring joy to my kitchen table.

 

Um, nope.

 

Heck, I don't even concern myself with learning styles all that much. We read, we write, we discuss. We use materials I have selected. I don't consult them on these choices. Only once or twice have I changed curricula, and not because of the fun factor, but because of other reasons that had nothing to do with fun, like "is it enough of a challenge?" Now that my 5th grader is getting older, I listen more closely to what she says about some of her curricula, but I still have the final word on what we use.

 

So, for the record, here at my house, the children do not come joyfully to the table each morning and open their math books. They often arrive with a grumble or two. More than two and I start doing some counting of my own. But the point is: They Come To The Table. And I am ready for them.

 

I know exactly why I started doing this job. And those reasons haven't changed. The pink cloud of starting out is gone for me, sure, and we're entering the thick of it now, the place where I don't have all the answers anymore, the place where we need to stay home more and bend diligently to the work at hand.

 

I trust the others that have gone before me. They say that their children come to them years down the road and say their thanks then. Not now. Later.

[Joyofsixreboot]

Mine see it as the broccoli. Something to be gotten through to get to the good stuff.

[Tarreymere]

Sounds like you have a good handle on what the problem is! In my house things have gone much more smoothly once I hit on a good routine that MOM can stick to. Here we all get up at the same time, have breakfast (the tv must not be turned on or all is lost) and then right after breakfast start math for everyone. Every day. And go from there.

I am not a scheduley person but I've learned that to deviate from this start means that nothing is going to get done that day. If the tv gets turned on before 4pm then nothing will get done from that point on (this was a problem when dd27 moved in with us a few months ago). If I get into this forum and take my attention off of the kids, the day goes down the drain too. :glare:

[boscopup]

Sounds like you have a good handle on what the problem is! In my house things have gone much more smoothly once I hit on a good routine that MOM can stick to. Here we all get up at the same time, have breakfast (the tv must not be turned on or all is lost) and then right after breakfast start math for everyone. Every day. And go from there.

I am not a scheduley person but I've learned that to deviate from this start means that nothing is going to get done that day. If the tv gets turned on before 4pm then nothing will get done from that point on (this was a problem when dd27 moved in with us a few months ago). If I get into this forum and take my attention off of the kids, the day goes down the drain too. :glare:

 

:iagree: ... right down to the forum time suck. :tongue_smilie:

[Greta]

I'm so glad you started this thread, and grateful to everyone who has posted. There's some really good advice and reminders here, that I needed to hear today!

 

One thing that I have learned with my daughter, though I admit this may be a very individual and not universal thing, is that the more I relax the schedule, the more fun I try to make things, the WORSE the complaining becomes! It's a very hard balance finding a level that is "comfortably challenging" for her -- to loose or easy and she whines all the time, too hard and demanding and she wants to give up entirely. But I've learned that it's better to err on the side of "hard and demanding" because then she's more likely to rise to the challenge. Hunter said something in another thread that really resonated with me. She said when she was homeschooling her boys, she would drill the skill areas so hard that reading a history book was fun by comparison, and didn't seem like "school" at all. That's the kind of schoolwork my daughter seems to need, something that's so hard that it makes her appreciate the easy stuff! When it's all easy, she is bored and unmotivated.

 

Another thing I'm learning that she needs is a schedule. She doesn't like surprises. So having a schedule for the week clearly laid out in advance does seem to help.

 

Lastly, the only other thing I can think of is: what do your kids do during non-school hours? I've learned that the amount of whining during school hours is directly proportional to the amount of screen time during non-school hours. This applies to both her and to me. :lol: There's something about the tv and the internet that seems to destroy the will to do anything else! I have to be careful about this myself, and I have to limit her as well.

[MerryAtHope]

This is probably a LOT of our problem. I have homeschooled a total of eleven years (hsed another child for four years before my own) and prefer to school year round. Since I know I have all year, I get side tracked and we don't have a schedule. My daily plan is to get up and get right to school everyday, but the kids know that I will often get distracted with a project or cleaning/organizing and we never get to school. If I sleep in a bit or get up and start other stuff they disappear or are being so creative on their own that I hate to interrupt. Plus, we have had so many things this year that took time to prepare for (trips or such), then took us away or at least some of us, and then took time to recover from. So, I often just gave up trying to do school for a week to two because of these things. Or, I will need to get school done quickly because we have other things going on so I will just tell them to do math and read something. I know they wake up with the hopes that mom will "forget" to do school each day. Then, when I call them to start our day, they grumble.

 

This week, I have made sure to get up before them for my coffee and prayer time. Then I call them out of bed to the couch for a short read aloud just to give them time to wake up. While they are eating a quick breakfast I read Bible and history to them. After which they get a short break while I prepare their individual work. Honestly, I think if I continue this things should improve. They don't get into their other adventures and therefore have to leave their fun.

 

I think this is a key. Once they've started an individual pursuit, well, who wants to be interrupted? I can tend to be fly by the seat of my pants too, and have found the same thing. I think you've hit on a good solution this week by getting up first and setting a basic routine. Routine really does help minimize complaining.

 

I am thinking that what might help beyond dealing with attitude adjustments, is to make a calendar that shows what days school will happen and then, the hard part, MOM sticking to it. I think my fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants schedule is much of the problem. I don't think this will cause them to LIKE school any better, but at least they will KNOW that it will happen, but on a certain day, there is a scheduled break.

 

Yes! When they know to plan on school every day, they plan on it--instead of asking/whining/wheedling to get out of it each day. Even if you don't see it this way and see it as your decision, if they perceive that their whining or negative attitudes get them out of school, they'll continue them.

 

They may not come to like every subject, but they may actually find there are some things they like when they get used to a routine.

 

Even if I can only schedule one month at a time (things get added to our calendar at the last minute) they need to know that if the calendar says school will happen tomorrow, it WILL happen and no disappearing tricks will get them out of it. That combined with a routine that starts first thing in the morning should help. I need to make school MY priority and it is in my long-term thinking, but in my daily life, it has become something that gets pushed aside for things I would prefer to do. This has got to stop since my oldest's workload is increasing.

 

Yes, it really does have to become priority. It's hard as the kids' workloads increase and we moms have less flexibility with our time. But I think you'll all be happier with some kind of predictable routine.

 

Workboxes have helped immensely here with keeping us on track, and also can reduce complaining. There's no wondering what they'll do--the boxes are all laid out, do the next box (and somehow it can seem like the "box" said to do it instead of mom--there's a bit of a buffer there).

 

Hang in there! Merry :-)

[EMS83]

My DD flops all over her work half the time. She will whine about being tired, or cold, or hungry, but she hasn't graduated to saying she hates school, yet. We'll see. My mantra on many things is, "I didn't say you had to like, I just said you had to do it." This won't make proper talks impossible, but at this stage, they're still working on obedience.

 

Sorry to add a few things, but: in a book I read a few years ago (I think it's called "Breathe"), it suggested to "ruthlessly eliminate hurry." For me, that means busyness. In the past two years I find more and more that I have to ruthlessly prioritize my activities to keep myself and my family sane. Just because something is good, doesn't mean it's good for your family right now. I say this because you mentioned things you want to do getting in the way of scheduling school. For example, I hear so often about how everyone should be deeply involved in their local church and I just don't buy it. Ministry to our families never does seem to get the same weight as ministry within the four walls of a church. Sorry. Personal pet peeve. It could be home projects, or personal improvement, a spotless house, or a host of other things. It's just a matter of prioritizing and balancing everything (easily said, difficult to do).

 

Second, try a loop schedule or the checklist like redsquirrel suggested. I used to have trouble scheduling my days and managing time. I don't schedule my day by the hour, but I do have a list of school subjects, chores, errands, and personal goals I want to accomplish every day (one column in my planner for each category). Does everything always get done every day? Nope. But I'm making progress and that's the important thing. If it doesn't get done today, it moves to the top of the list for tomorrow. DH has been saying I should try that method for years, but it only just recently sunk in. :001_rolleyes:

 

Also, I know it's hard to interrupt play. I often am sluggish (and distracted) in the morning, and they end up playing before I can call them to the table. What I do in that situation is tell them they have 5 more minutes to wrap up whatever they're doing it. This semester we've only had a couple of times when the whole week was shot (by illness). We do school at least 3 days a week, it's just which days that's the question. I'll need to work on that over the next year or so. I really like your idea of calling them to the couch to hear a story and then reading more serious subjects over breakfast. It turns them into a captive audience. ;) I need to do that more.

 

No matter how you decide to handle it, good luck. Whatever works!

[mothergooseof4]

Thanks all! I felt kind of silly after posting this yesterday. I mean, I am an experienced hser. After all of these years and several students, you would think that I would have it down. But, I think that part of the reason that I get this way is because I have been doing it for so long. In the beginning, I was much more structured. Then I lost my late dh when the kids were all very young. For a few years we just did what was necessary to get through. Being a single mom I lacked accountability in so many areas of life and I gave myself and the kids permission to just get through. That was fine for a while and honestly it kept me sane, but eventually, we started slacking and really needed to pick it up.

 

Are we behind? No, each kid is doing very well. My house is clean compared to other peoples'. And, for the most part, things are going well. But, we are not accomplishing what I would like or keeping up with other areas like I would like either. I don't have that "accomplished" feeling that I know I have when I am more intentional about my time. I miss it.

 

I plan to spend time this weekend making out a schedule, at least for the next month. I always make each dc a list of assignments each day. So, when they start their school work, they DO know what is expected to be finished. I don't add to it once it is made. Our issue is that they just wake up each morning hoping that I will get into something else and skip school. So, a schedule with "school" or "no school" written on each day will help, I think. I will HAVE TO make sure that I stay disciplined and actually DO SCHOOL on school days.

 

As for busyness....I cut back on our church involvement. We used to be there every time the doors were open. I taught a couple of classes. I felt God telling me to pull back last summer and focus my service at home. There are seasons to life and this one is for me to focus on my family. My kids have not had "normal" childhoods and have experienced many things in their few short years. For now, I need to focus on character development and adaption to changes in our lives. We need to learn to work together and that includes me. I got really lazy in many areas while I was single.

[FO4UR]

Please hear this as a gentle reminder from an older sister and not a reaming-out, we're all Moms and we all want to make life fun for our little ones, so you are understood here....

 

But, Moms, you wouldn't allow this over tooth-brushing. You wouldn't care so much about their little feelings if the issue was over letting their teeth rot out, or whether they would go to the dentist or doctor, or about vegetables at dinner or speaking respectfully to parents or destroying others' property...

 

Please consider taking an entirely new tone, starting Monday morning, that sounds more like, "Mama loves you and wants you to enjoy your homeschooling day, but we are going to do it whether you like it or not. I am responsible for educating you according to the law and according to my own belief about what is right, and a good education means that we study every day. Now get your pencils and your books."

 

And then nip every attitude problem in the bud. "I'm sorry I've let you become whiny over math, but last Friday was your last day to do that. Stop complaining, we are only doing three problems today." See that the three problems are done promptly, or administer whatever consequence is usual in your family. They'll think they fell down a rabbit hole but they'll adjust.

 

Which leads to another point: Take a page from Charlotte Mason's book and keep lessons very short at first. Only exact from them what you are sure they can accomplish. Insist on total attention, even if you only do three math problems the first day. Part of the goal is to teach them to work with diligence and good character, and that's even harder than copying sentences. That's why we start small. Better six words with good attitude and concentration than half a page done slowly with fussing...besides, the fussing day makes it so much harder for Mom to have the courage to do it again tomorrow!

 

The six words done successfully give confidence to student and teacher. Work your way up from there. This will work if you are diligent to teach them your expectations every single school day.

 

I hope I haven't offended. Mothergooseofthree, you've stated one of your goals: Illiterate children are not an option. That means that you work every day whether they like it or not. It's up to you to make it happen. Channel Mary Poppins: "I am kind, but I am very firm."

 

 

Fantastic post!

 

 

 

I whittle down the work to exactly what they need. (Our spelling program has plenty of dictation, for ex...so I don't add on more dictation in our writing lessons.) We concentrate on the 3R's.

 

Then, I feel at ease to be much more relaxed with all else. I think that literature, history, science, art, etc. should be fulfilling for the child. It may not be fun to write up a narration on Alexander the Great, but they should be engaged in his story. They may not like writing up science reports, but they should maintain a natural curiosity about the world around them.

 

 

My dc are young, so take my words fwiw.;) I think the 3R's are the broccoli, but the content subjects should be like a perfectly grilled steak. The steak takes some chewing (and it isn't necessarily sweet), but a taste of the savory juices creates a craving for more. How to achieve that with a child older than 3rd grade??? idk...but that is my aim.

 

 

I think I would take Tibbie's advice, but whittle your schedule down to the 3Rs during the transition.

[FO4UR]

Thanks all! I felt kind of silly after posting this yesterday. I mean, I am an experienced hser. After all of these years and several students, you would think that I would have it down. But, I think that part of the reason that I get this way is because I have been doing it for so long. In the beginning, I was much more structured. Then I lost my late dh when the kids were all very young. For a few years we just did what was necessary to get through. Being a single mom I lacked accountability in so many areas of life and I gave myself and the kids permission to just get through. That was fine for a while and honestly it kept me sane, but eventually, we started slacking and really needed to pick it up.

 

Are we behind? No, each kid is doing very well. My house is clean compared to other peoples'. And, for the most part, things are going well. But, we are not accomplishing what I would like or keeping up with other areas like I would like either. I don't have that "accomplished" feeling that I know I have when I am more intentional about my time. I miss it.

 

I plan to spend time this weekend making out a schedule, at least for the next month. I always make each dc a list of assignments each day. So, when they start their school work, they DO know what is expected to be finished. I don't add to it once it is made. Our issue is that they just wake up each morning hoping that I will get into something else and skip school. So, a schedule with "school" or "no school" written on each day will help, I think. I will HAVE TO make sure that I stay disciplined and actually DO SCHOOL on school days.

 

As for busyness....I cut back on our church involvement. We used to be there every time the doors were open. I taught a couple of classes. I felt God telling me to pull back last summer and focus my service at home. There are seasons to life and this one is for me to focus on my family. My kids have not had "normal" childhoods and have experienced many things in their few short years. For now, I need to focus on character development and adaption to changes in our lives. We need to learn to work together and that includes me. I got really lazy in many areas while I was single.

 

 

:grouphug:

 

 

Your dc are blessed to have a momma that is sensitive to their needs.

[laundrycrisis]

 

I know exactly why I started doing this job. And those reasons haven't changed. The pink cloud of starting out is gone for me, sure, and we're entering the thick of it now, the place where I don't have all the answers anymore, the place where we need to stay home more and bend diligently to the work at hand.

 

I trust the others that have gone before me. They say that their children come to them years down the road and say their thanks then. Not now. Later.

 

Lara, I love this. :)

[famof6]

One thing we did during a season of hating school, was making a list of all assignments for the day and keeping at it til we got it done. It was midwinter and the days were short, one day we went to school when it was still dark and we're still working on our assignments when it got dark. My kids were so upset that there was no time left to play. The next day, they decided to work much harder and got their work done in half the time. I find that consistency is often the hardest part. Good luck!

 

A constant reminder that all children have to do school work is also helpful. Once they realize that all children are at school, just different schools, they tend to do better.

[swainsonshawk]

I think a schedule really helps. I stick to it until it's done, even though it cuts into what I need to do and what they want to do if they are resistant and slow. After a few days (years) of missing their friends, activities, TV and computer time, they stopped complaining so much. My older kids now have a "get-r-done" approach to schoolwork. They still don't love it, but they don't complain the whole time, either.

 

I see this same thing happening to my younger kids. They whine and complain every day, but as they practice doing school every day and getting their reward of friends and comptuter time when it's done, hopefully they will complain less, too.

 

Just so you know, it probably too 4-5 years for my oldest to stop complaining hard about school work. My next 2 only 1 year or so. You'll have to learn to turn a deaf ear. Not every kid loves school work.

[QuirkyKidAcademy]

Thanks to everyone for advice! Tibbie's and Lara's posts especially spoke to me.

 

OP, our biggest problem is *my* lack of consistency as well, so I sympathize in that regard. Let's hang in there together!

[...................]

Please hear this as a gentle reminder from an older sister and not a reaming-out, we're all Moms and we all want to make life fun for our little ones, so you are understood here....

 

But, Moms, you wouldn't allow this over tooth-brushing. You wouldn't care so much about their little feelings if the issue was over letting their teeth rot out, or whether they would go to the dentist or doctor, or about vegetables at dinner or speaking respectfully to parents or destroying others' property...

 

Please consider taking an entirely new tone, starting Monday morning, that sounds more like, "Mama loves you and wants you to enjoy your homeschooling day, but we are going to do it whether you like it or not. I am responsible for educating you according to the law and according to my own belief about what is right, and a good education means that we study every day. Now get your pencils and your books."

 

And then nip every attitude problem in the bud. "I'm sorry I've let you become whiny over math, but last Friday was your last day to do that. Stop complaining, we are only doing three problems today." See that the three problems are done promptly, or administer whatever consequence is usual in your family. They'll think they fell down a rabbit hole but they'll adjust.

 

Which leads to another point: Take a page from Charlotte Mason's book and keep lessons very short at first. Only exact from them what you are sure they can accomplish. Insist on total attention, even if you only do three math problems the first day. Part of the goal is to teach them to work with diligence and good character, and that's even harder than copying sentences. That's why we start small. Better six words with good attitude and concentration than half a page done slowly with fussing...besides, the fussing day makes it so much harder for Mom to have the courage to do it again tomorrow!

 

The six words done successfully give confidence to student and teacher. Work your way up from there. This will work if you are diligent to teach them your expectations every single school day.

 

I hope I haven't offended. Mothergooseofthree, you've stated one of your goals: Illiterate children are not an option. That means that you work every day whether they like it or not. It's up to you to make it happen. Channel Mary Poppins: "I am kind, but I am very firm."

 

:iagree::iagree:

[LillyMama]

I love this board! :D

 

I just wanted to add a "Me, too!" I always balk at the idea of a schedule, I resent it so. But I also recognize we thrive better for it.

 

I didn't see this said- when you make a schedule, schedule for yourself and your kids time to do the things that usually distract you from school. My kids have set play and recess times, and this helps them work through a to-do list to completion. My kids are younger, so I'm not sure if you can do this, but I also schedule one hour of quiet time every day from 1-2. Sure, there are occasional days this doesn't happen, like on field trip days or days when friends are over. But if we are home, doing school, they spend one hour a day, alone in their rooms. I hope one day they will read during this time, but for now, I don't care as long as they are QUIET. :D

 

This is the time I take to surf the web, read a book, mop the kitchen floor, lay down for a quick nap... Knowing I have that time schedule helps ME push through our to-do list. And it gives all of us a break from each other.

 

This is probably the best advice I give to myself and other over-worked moms- schedule your down time and take it. Then you won't be tempted to steal it from your work times.

[Greta]

I didn't see this said- when you make a schedule, schedule for yourself and your kids time to do the things that usually distract you from school. My kids have set play and recess times, and this helps them work through a to-do list to completion. My kids are younger, so I'm not sure if you can do this, but I also schedule one hour of quiet time every day from 1-2. Sure, there are occasional days this doesn't happen, like on field trip days or days when friends are over. But if we are home, doing school, they spend one hour a day, alone in their rooms. I hope one day they will read during this time, but for now, I don't care as long as they are QUIET. :D

 

This is the time I take to surf the web, read a book, mop the kitchen floor, lay down for a quick nap... Knowing I have that time schedule helps ME push through our to-do list. And it gives all of us a break from each other.

 

This is probably the best advice I give to myself and other over-worked moms- schedule your down time and take it. Then you won't be tempted to steal it from your work times.

 

This is great advice! I watched SWB's YouTube video about this awhile back and decided to implement it. Okay, I admit, I haven't been as consistent as I should, but when we have done it, it has really helped our day go smoothly, productively, and enjoyably. My daughter loved it! (We, like you, did one hour rather than the two that SWB does. I don't feel like we can afford that big of a chunk out of our day right now. Maybe if/when my productivity increases.)

[angelmama1209]

Well of course they whine and fight, they have no idea what is going to happen from day to day. If things are regular then they know what to expect, They know when lessons are due to start and finish. When you have a routine they know what will be expected of them.

 

I wouldn't like a job where I had a boss who may or may not call me in to work on any given day. I wouldn't know how to plan. Should I start a game? Start a book? Will I be able to finish? And if I do get called in to work, I have no idea what will be asked of me. Am I going to be there for an hour? 10 hours? If it isn't something that you make the centerpiece of your day, then why should they?

 

If you make it like a job, non-negotiable and automatic, then there is much less resistance. It is what you do before you do other things. And if there is fretting, ignore it as much as possible. I tell my kids at such times, "I didn't ask if you liked it. I asked if you were done with your work." Those are the days that "if you would stop complaining about it you would be done by now" is a useful mantra.

 

this is exactly why we started homeschooling- so it wouldn't be like a strict job. my stepson is a product of the public school system and any time he would come to our house and we would suggest he read or do something perceived as educational, he would refuse saying he wasn't in school. this really turned us off. we want our children to view life as learning. now, we use curriculum, we have a loose schedule/routine, and i do not go out of my way to make things fun. i think you really have to find a balance. i have decided what things get done each day, but my children decide in what order. it gives them some control, but i'm still in charge. it's really helped us get things done and with less harumphing.

[angelmama1209]

I love this board! :D

 

I just wanted to add a "Me, too!" I always balk at the idea of a schedule, I resent it so. But I also recognize we thrive better for it.

 

I didn't see this said- when you make a schedule, schedule for yourself and your kids time to do the things that usually distract you from school. My kids have set play and recess times, and this helps them work through a to-do list to completion. My kids are younger, so I'm not sure if you can do this, but I also schedule one hour of quiet time every day from 1-2. Sure, there are occasional days this doesn't happen, like on field trip days or days when friends are over. But if we are home, doing school, they spend one hour a day, alone in their rooms. I hope one day they will read during this time, but for now, I don't care as long as they are QUIET. :D

 

This is the time I take to surf the web, read a book, mop the kitchen floor, lay down for a quick nap... Knowing I have that time schedule helps ME push through our to-do list. And it gives all of us a break from each other.

 

This is probably the best advice I give to myself and other over-worked moms- schedule your down time and take it. Then you won't be tempted to steal it from your work times.

 

we do this, too! i can't make them sleep (and they pretty much don't anymore), but they must be in their beds and quiet. without it, none of us make it through the day well.