A.Balaban Posted April 8, 2012 Share Posted April 8, 2012 (edited) If you remember my last thread, you'll remember what's going on with my DH. If not, then well, it doesn't matter. My DH is working the overnight shift. He was supposed to off over two hours ago, and hasn't come home yet. I'm worried. His cell is broken, so I can't call him. I don't know if I should call his work (would they tell me what time he left?) or what... I have no idea. I'm not reading into anything else that may be happening, I am just worried at this point. I'm so overreacting.... but all I can think about is how he hasn't gotten much sleep and he's been so tired! I'm very worried.... ETA: He came back right after I woke my DD up and was getting her changed. Edited April 8, 2012 by A.Balaban Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxMom Posted April 8, 2012 Share Posted April 8, 2012 :grouphug: I think it would be entirely appropriate to call and make sure he was just held up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A.Balaban Posted April 8, 2012 Author Share Posted April 8, 2012 :grouphug: I think it would be entirely appropriate to call and make sure he was just held up. The store is closed... I don't know if there is a manager in the store or not.. ETA: Security answered. They said he left on time.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxMom Posted April 8, 2012 Share Posted April 8, 2012 The store is closed... I don't know if there is a manager in the store or not.. ETA: Security answered. They said he left on time.... Ooooh. In that case, I would be in the car, alternating between hysteria and rage. I'm sorry this is your morning. What a stinky way to start the day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted April 8, 2012 Share Posted April 8, 2012 I hope everything is okay. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A.Balaban Posted April 8, 2012 Author Share Posted April 8, 2012 Ooooh. In that case, I would be in the car, alternating between hysteria and rage. I'm sorry this is your morning. What a stinky way to start the day. I don't know which way to drive! That's my problem. We live about 45 min from his work, and so it's all back roads.There are two "main" roads, and then from where you go it entirely depends.... Just the starting and ending is the same lol... I don't know which way he drives. I think I'm gonna have to wake my DD up and we're gonna have to go looking... I just have to take a cold shower. I've been up all night with my sick DS and *I* don't want to get into an accident! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxMom Posted April 8, 2012 Share Posted April 8, 2012 Oh dear. Crossing my fingers that he gets in while you're showering and it's just a flat tire or something. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted April 8, 2012 Share Posted April 8, 2012 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamakimberly Posted April 8, 2012 Share Posted April 8, 2012 Update when you can, please! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
k2bdeutmeyer Posted April 8, 2012 Share Posted April 8, 2012 Update when you can, please! :iagree: What an awful feeling. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanceXToo Posted April 8, 2012 Share Posted April 8, 2012 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UmMusa Posted April 8, 2012 Share Posted April 8, 2012 I hope everything is ok. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
celticmom Posted April 8, 2012 Share Posted April 8, 2012 :grouphug: Have you tried calling the police and/or hospitals? If you are concerned about an accident and they have not handled any in the correct areas that would make it more likely it was just car trouble. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shawndrese Posted April 8, 2012 Share Posted April 8, 2012 Hope everything is okay....I've been praying for you since reading your other post.... :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SailorMom Posted April 8, 2012 Share Posted April 8, 2012 :grouphug: If you're home and reading this, I'd say a call to local ER's and police stations would be a better way of checking than trying to drive all over.... Hang in there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted April 8, 2012 Share Posted April 8, 2012 Try to take a nap with the sick kid. Sleeping passes the time. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QuirkyKidAcademy Posted April 8, 2012 Share Posted April 8, 2012 Hugs and prayers..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luvnlattes Posted April 8, 2012 Share Posted April 8, 2012 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NicAnn Posted April 8, 2012 Share Posted April 8, 2012 Oh gosh, I've been in this situation many times. Dh worked the night shift on and off for years...we've been through car trouble, cattle in the road, speeding tickets, helping other drivers. He never got home on time. Yet when he switched to days, nothing ever held him up. I'm sure it's nothing, but I will keep you on my mind until we find out!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyof4ks Posted April 8, 2012 Share Posted April 8, 2012 :grouphug:If you're home and reading this, I'd say a call to local ER's and police stations would be a better way of checking than trying to drive all over.... Hang in there. :iagree: There are policeman on patrol 24/7, and they will keep an eye out for your dh if you give them his lisence plate number and a description of his car. The local ERs can tell you if anyone with his name has been brought in. I worry when dh is 20 minutes late, so by two hours I would be hysterical. I have driven around looking for him before, but he only works 10 minutes away. :grouphug: and prayers that he is found safely. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kwickimom Posted April 8, 2012 Share Posted April 8, 2012 :grouphug: I hope he isn't physically hurt and if he is not hurt then I really hope you stick to your plan you had in the other thread. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jan in SC Posted April 8, 2012 Share Posted April 8, 2012 Any news? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted April 8, 2012 Share Posted April 8, 2012 Hoping everything is okay! Hang in there, Hon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jrn Posted April 8, 2012 Share Posted April 8, 2012 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen500 Posted April 8, 2012 Share Posted April 8, 2012 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fraidycat Posted April 8, 2012 Share Posted April 8, 2012 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy+2 Posted April 8, 2012 Share Posted April 8, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted April 8, 2012 Share Posted April 8, 2012 :grouphug: I hope he isn't physically hurt and if he is not hurt then I really hope you stick to your plan you had in the other thread. :iagree: I hope he's not hurt, but I really, really, really hope he has a very good reason for being so late. Mostly, though, I hope you are OK. :grouphug: Update us when you can -- we're worried about you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1bassoon Posted April 8, 2012 Share Posted April 8, 2012 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer in MI Posted April 8, 2012 Share Posted April 8, 2012 Is there an update? I read this this morning and your family has been in my prayers all morning, OP. I was hoping to see an update! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted April 8, 2012 Share Posted April 8, 2012 Oh Honey, you must feel awful. Take a deep breath. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted April 8, 2012 Share Posted April 8, 2012 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted April 8, 2012 Share Posted April 8, 2012 If you remember my last thread, you'll remember what's going on with my DH. If not, then well, it doesn't matter. My DH is working the overnight shift. He was supposed to off over two hours ago, and hasn't come home yet. I'm worried. His cell is broken, so I can't call him. I don't know if I should call his work (would they tell me what time he left?) or what... I have no idea. I'm not reading into anything else that may be happening, I am just worried at this point. I'm so overreacting.... but all I can think about is how he hasn't gotten much sleep and he's been so tired! I'm very worried.... ETA: He came back right after I woke my DD up and was getting her changed. Update in the last sentence. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A.Balaban Posted April 8, 2012 Author Share Posted April 8, 2012 He walked in right after I woke my DD up, got my DS's shoes on, etc. I was gonna drive a bit to see if I saw him coming the other way and then call a hospital or the police. There are only two hospitals between here and where he works, one in the town where he works and one here in town. He told me that around 3am him and the 3 other guys he works with decided to stay late for an extra 2 hours because they don't come in tonight (so they don't get paid). He said he didn't call because he figured I would be asleep. (this is where if we had a cell phone that a text would have been a great thing...need to get him a new phone...) He said that he has no idea who I talked to on the phone, but he didn't leave until 7am. He said he thinks I talked to a guy named "John" (the security guy never introduced himself... and I admit I was rather flustered on the phone so they guy could have just said "yes" to get me off the phone?) So he's safe. Limbs intact. Getting him a new phone tomorrow..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted April 8, 2012 Share Posted April 8, 2012 Oh, great news! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxMom Posted April 8, 2012 Share Posted April 8, 2012 Whew. I'm glad he got home safely. Of course, here, that relief would give way to some serious anger in short order. I would take a wake up call over early morning hysteria any day, and if my husband chose to let me fear, he would live in the shadow of a very.angry.wife for a long time. (Which is something, having experienced it, he is not willing to revisit.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted April 9, 2012 Share Posted April 9, 2012 He said he didn't call because he figured I would be asleep. :iagree: A late night call which wakes me and/or kid is not appreciated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted April 9, 2012 Share Posted April 9, 2012 He said that he has no idea who I talked to on the phone, but he didn't leave until 7am. He said he thinks I talked to a guy named "John" (the security guy never introduced himself... and I admit I was rather flustered on the phone so they guy could have just said "yes" to get me off the phone?) So he's safe. Limbs intact. Getting him a new phone tomorrow..... Glad to hear you're getting him a new phone tomorrow, but considering your other suspicions about him, I would not necessarily rush to believe his story. Honestly, it sounds a little fishy to me, but you know him better than I do, and if he often works extra hours for similar reasons, I will buy in to the story, too. However, just because he didn't have a cell phone with him does not excuse him for not calling you. I'm sure there are phones where he works, and i sincerely doubt that none of his co-workers has a phone he could have borrowed for a few minutes. Please don't answer this if you are uncomfortable about it, but what was your main motivation for wanting to go out and track your dh down this morning? Were you worried he had been hurt, or were you more concerned that he was up to no good? I only ask this because you seemed very worried about him, yet on your other thread, you are looking for a place to live because you are just about ready to leave him. I'm not trying to be critical -- I just wanted to point out that if you were worried sick that he may have been hurt when he didn't come home, perhaps you have deeper feelings for him that you realize, and that is something you really need to think about before you take any action. Whatever the case, I'm glad he came home. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
besroma Posted April 9, 2012 Share Posted April 9, 2012 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A.Balaban Posted April 12, 2012 Author Share Posted April 12, 2012 Glad to hear you're getting him a new phone tomorrow, but considering your other suspicions about him, I would not necessarily rush to believe his story. Honestly, it sounds a little fishy to me, but you know him better than I do, and if he often works extra hours for similar reasons, I will buy in to the story, too. However, just because he didn't have a cell phone with him does not excuse him for not calling you. I'm sure there are phones where he works, and i sincerely doubt that none of his co-workers has a phone he could have borrowed for a few minutes. Please don't answer this if you are uncomfortable about it, but what was your main motivation for wanting to go out and track your dh down this morning? Were you worried he had been hurt, or were you more concerned that he was up to no good? I only ask this because you seemed very worried about him, yet on your other thread, you are looking for a place to live because you are just about ready to leave him. I'm not trying to be critical -- I just wanted to point out that if you were worried sick that he may have been hurt when he didn't come home, perhaps you have deeper feelings for him that you realize, and that is something you really need to think about before you take any action. Whatever the case, I'm glad he came home. :grouphug: The world hates us. :glare: The company we ordered the phone from thought it was a fraudulent attempt to get a phone and so they cancelled the order. I was very critical/hesitant to believe his story. I'm going to make him show me his time-stamps from work for that day. It's been on my mind since then, but just haven't had a good time to ask him to bring it up on the computer. If the computer shows that he really did punch out at 7am, then I know it was just a mistake the security guard told me he left. If not, then "he has some 'splaining to do" ;-) He did tell me that his supervisor that works overnights with him carries a phone, so if I need to get ahold of DH to call and ask for his supervisor. I'm still very much in transition, but I was both worried about him and thinking he was up to no good. However, I've had no other indications that he has been doing anything "no good". I can't make blameless accusations or let it affect my life so negatively. It's difficult. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted April 12, 2012 Share Posted April 12, 2012 (edited) :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: In your situation, it would be almost impossible not to be suspicious, but if you ask to see his time stamps, won't that clue him in to the fact that you don't trust him, and possibly make him be more careful about hiding any negative behaviors from you? Is there any way to get to the time stamps without him finding out about it? Does he always log off of his computer every time he steps away from the desk? I know I sound really dishonest and sneaky, but I'm wondering if there's any way you can try to put your mind at ease without tipping him off that you were suspicious on the day he came home so late. If he really wasn't doing anything wrong, he will be very upset that you didn't trust him, and if he was up to no good, you will have given him fair warning to cover his tracks if you ask to see the time stamps. Edited April 12, 2012 by Catwoman Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tex-mex Posted April 12, 2012 Share Posted April 12, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: In your situation, it would be almost impossible not to be suspicious, but if you ask to see his time stamps, won't that clue him in to the fact that you don't trust him, and possibly make him be more careful about hiding any negative behaviors from you? Is there any way to get to the time stamps without him finding out about it? Does he always log off of his computer every time he steps away from the desk? I know I sound really dishonest and sneaky, but I'm wondering if there's any way you can try to put your mind at ease without tipping him off that you were suspicious on the day he came home so late. If he really wasn't doing anything wrong, he will be very upset that you didn't trust him, and if he was up to no good, you will have given him fair warning to cover his tracks if you ask to see the time stamps. :iagree: This would be good reason to use that excess $$ OP has on hand (instead of buying a mobile home) to hire a P.I. to track her husband for 1-2 weeks. If no weird stuff occurs, fine. Burn the evidence. If something odd or suspicious comes up... well, the OP has heard from all of us on what to do. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 I'm still very much in transition, but I was both worried about him and thinking he was up to no good. However, I've had no other indications that he has been doing anything "no good". Yes you do! You have good reason to believe he is up to no good. You have seen the evidence of the no goodness....:001_huh: I would not go off doing something crazy....but I would absolutely get to the bottom of what is going on. Even if it is only porn it is clearly abig issue for you and it needs to be addressed. Do not distract yourself with purchasing a new home with a man you cannot trust! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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