s/o- getting everything done by 6 PM

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

One thing that struck me is how many people commented that they are "done" by the time dh comes home. How does this happen? Are you or your kids not in any activities in the evenings? Do the kids take baths/showers, etc. during the day? When do you do meal planning, lesson planning, etc.?

 

Even before I started babysitting, which is adding a whole new level to not being done by the time dh gets home, we had a busy schedule in the evenings. I know these are things I've chosen to do, and not everyone chooses to do, but here's our evening schedule:

 

Every other Monday- I lead ds2's Wolf Den meeting 6:30 PM

Alternating Mondays- Chess Club 6:30 PM

Every Tuesday- I have a dance class 7:30 PM

Every other Tuesday- dh takes ds1 to Bear Den meeting 6:30

Wednesday- generally free

Thursday- Dh has regular poker game, usually at our house, but in the basement, so I have nothing to do with it. From 6:00-12:00.

Friday- Our temple has Friday night Shabbat services which we usually attend if we do not have a Cub Scout pack event.

 

Almost every single evening, I read bedtime stories to the kids from 8:00 or 8:30-9:00 or 9:15.

 

During the weekdays, the kids go to a homeschool theatre class on Monday afternoons from 1:00-2:30. It's too far from home to drop them off and go back home, so I usually go to the library near there and hang out, or get a few errands run.

 

Once a month, they go to a homeschool Swim & Gym from 1:00 PM to 4:00 PM. Also too far to go back home, especially with these gas prices, so I hang out at the gym with the other moms and younger sibs.

 

Once a month, we have our homeschool book club on a Friday morning, from 10:00 AM- 11:30 AM.

 

We do school around 3-4 hours each day. This is being stretched out over a longer period of time with the baby here now.

 

These are the things we have planned in our schedule. I will definitely be getting rid of the Cub Scouts and hopefully replacing it with 4H or some other activity that will take less time. But next year, ds1 will also start Hebrew school on Wednesday afternoons to prepare for his Bar Mitzvah. That goes from 4:00 PM-5:30 PM.

 

Dh doesn't do much around here, except the chores we all do on Saturday mornings, but he has no expectations for dinner being made or the house being cleaned. He knows better.

 

So, on top of regularly scheduled programming, there are things like doctor appointments, extra trips to the library, needing to run to the bank or post office, SIL or a neighbor stopping by, someone dropping a glass jar of juice on the hard tile floor thus necessitating an emergency clean-up session, grocery shopping (which I refuse to do on weekends because there is never anywhere to park at Trader Joe's on the weekends, unless I go at 7:30AM and wait a half hour for them to open- which I have done!), PLUS all the time I spend on the computer.:tongue_smilie:

 

I do have more energy in the morning, so I clean up and straighten up in the morning while everyone is waking up and getting going. I do a lot of the laundry on Sunday mornings while the kids are at Sunday school for 3 hours.

 

So, what's the deal? How many of you have relaxing evenings at home most of the time?

Edited March 28, 2012 by thescrappyhomeschooler
Original comment not appropriate. Moderating myself.

[DawnM]

Your two cub scouts meet on different nights? That would not work for us at all. Our unit meets (EVERYONE) on one night, including the girls' group we have.

 

We are out on Sunday nights (church) and Monday nights (scouts) and occasionally we go on Wed. nights (church). Otherwise, activities are during the day.

 

We feel that we are all together with Dh so little as it is that we don't want to fill up the few nights we have together. So, we limit it. The above actives we all go to as a family. Wed. nights are becoming fewer and fewer as we just don't feel it necessary to be a part of that anymore.

 

Dawn

[Tarreymere]

OP, your post made me tired. My kids are NOT in anywhere near all of those activities!

 

We make it to the library every other week. We have a homeschool group that meets every two or three weeks or so informally for an afternoon. We go to church on Sunday. That's it. We just don't have evening activities. I think that makes life just too crazy, personally.

 

In the summer the kids play in a soccer league or take swimming lessons. The rest of the year activities are usually on a Saturday. That was when we did dance, but dd isn't interested in dance anymore. We aren't in scouting specifically because it takes up too much family time. At some point we will have music lessons, but they will be in the afternoon during the week or on the weekend. Dh is in a couple of bands, so he does have band practice a few times a week in the evening but it doesn't affect the kids or me.

 

We do errands and grocery shopping on the weekends. I don't answer the phone or the door during school (I've had family stand outside staring into our windows at us because of this :glare:) I've made it clear that daytime is schooltime so don't visit. Sometimes we go to the park or something during the day but we don't HAVE to or plan it ahead of time, and we do school there too.

[jennsmile]

We live in the country and with current gas prices limit outside activities.

 

Only 1 or 2 evenings do we have outside activities.

 

I meal plan during the day. We do on occasion take days off school for deep cleaning or major errand running. But my kids aren't just learning about school they are learning about life.

[kwickimom]

We have a commitment almost every night which is why I like everything done by 6. We of course have to clean up after dinner and do those dishes but that takes like 10 mins.

 

What I meant by being done at 6 is...if you walk in my house ta 6 it is clean and picked up, the laundry is done, and dinner is served (although it may be very simple like sandwiches or whatever)

 

Mondays we go from tumbling to girl scouts and then I go to Bible study. DH will usually feed the kids, but sometimes I leave something out for dinner to heat up.

 

Tuesdays house and all is done by 5 because we all go as a family to ds's soccer game and then come home and eat dinner.

 

Wed we go as a family to eat dinner at a church and then the kids stay for bible study and me and dh go shopping or home to do whatever.

 

Thursdays I usually have a homeschool meeting or girls night out or I help at church and so dh does whatever he wants with the kids.

 

Fridays and saturdays are usually busy with various things...I spend a few hours in there somewhere deep cleaning and planning out school.

 

Sundays we have church and Awana and usually let the kids have friends over.

 

 

I stay up til midnight and get up at 7 am. My kids go to bed around 9 or 9:30. At night I read and do school related stuff and menu plan etc.

 

I did a massive house declutter and that has helped tremendously. I put all the kids toys in bins in the basement and they can only get one at a time. All they have in their rooms are books and my dd has American girl dolls. We rarely have anything to pick up.

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

OP, your post made me tired. My kids are NOT in anywhere near all of those activities!

 

 

 

It makes me tired, too. Dh still thinks the kids aren't getting enough socialization with other kids! I keep telling him he's wrong, but he doesn't really witness all the running around we do during the day, so I don't think it sinks in with him.

 

I forgot to mention also that we sign up occasionally for classes at the library, Natural History Museum and the Nature Center. :lol:

[Joker]

We rarely have outside activities in the evenings. That is our time to relax as a family. My girls are completely able to shower by themselves, and get ready for bed. Dh does the read aloud with the girls at night because he's not home all day with them, and he enjoys doing that. Anything else, like lesson planning, takes place on the weekend.

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

Your two cub scouts meet on different nights? That would not work for us at all. Our unit meets (EVERYONE) on one night, including the girls' group we have.

 

 

Dawn

 

Yep. All of the dens meet at different locations and on different nights. Dumb, right? And we have pack activities on Friday nights and Saturday mornings or afternoons. It's very time consuming.

[lynn]

I went through fly lady and took away what I needed. I have established routines for the morning which gets everything tidy and one room dusted and vacuumed/swept, bathrooms swished and swiped (as she puts it) and commit to 2 loads of laundry per day(one of those loads is one persons bedding). I do my planning for 1 weeks at a time usually on a slow evening. I also keep up with hot spots(areas of your house that seem to collect stuff, I take a couple of minutes to clear it). I have a weekly menu sometimes for 2 or 3 weeks so I can look up and see what I need to thaw the day before. I also keep a notebook and jot down things I am running low on that I need to purchase on the next shopping trip and one for things I want to get done around the house. Now a side note I have been learning and picking up cleaning tips for a long time I've been mom for 19 years married 22. It does take time to establish routines and find what works for you and your family and it changes as the demands of your family change.

[Parrothead]

What the heck, I'm already behind today so a few minutes more won't hurt.

;)

 

My schedule:

 

7am: I get up and get caffeinated.

 

8am: Breakfast, showered, dressed and first sweep of the house - bathroom gets tidied and the breakfast dishes are done. Laundry gets started.

 

9am: School. Dd does math. I study something. We come together to do the lessons she needs me for and work at the table.

 

Noon: Lunch. We have an hour to prepare, eat and clean up lunch. Twice a week we are out of the house for this hour. One day the dog gets dropped at day care. The other is dd's guitar 30 minute guitar lesson

 

1p: School. Cleaning lady comes in on Wednesdays. We still haven't figured out how to work around her working.

 

3p: Done with school most days. Everything is tidies up and laundry gets put away. Any early dinner prep that needs doing is done. The house gets a quick tidy up.

 

3:30 On Mondays dd goes to dance lessons. Tuesdays are free until dinner. Wednesdays the dog gets picked up from day care if dh isn't able to do so after work. Thursdays are free until dinner. Fridays dd goes to (or sometimes hosts) little flowers club.

 

4p: I work on school - either mine or dd's, dd has free time to play if she is home.

 

5p: Start dinner. Dh gets home. On Monday and Wednesday I go to Zumba.

 

6p: On Mondays dd gets picked up from dance. On Monday and Wednesday I get done with Zumba. Other days we eat dinner.

 

7p: Family tidy up time. We make sure things are tidy and neat. All the dinner dishes are done. On Thursdays we go to t'ai chi.

 

7:30 Most nights is family time.

 

9p: Bedtime. We are all in bed though not necessarily asleep.

[Julie Smith]

We have very few outside the house activities. My boys simple don't like them, and we have tired many different kinds. So when we rarely have to be somewhere that makes it a lot easier to get things done.

[Desert Rat]

I answered that I was done by 6, but I took that to mean chores and school. We have activities every night of the week. We attend these as a family; we chat in the car on the way and whoever is not participating hangs out. Only my youngest plays soccer for example, but my oldest comes with and hangs out with us. Soccer is one night a week plus Saturdays. Taekwondo is 2 nights a week, 3 if I get my rear to sparring. Archery will be once a week.

I work 3-4 afternoons a week. We do school from 7-11:30. I do laundry during this time. I leave at 12:00 so that gives me a half hour to tidy up before leaving and do dishes etc. I get home by 4. The kids go outside to play, and I start dinner. While dinner is cooking, I shower and change (I clean houses). My oldest puts all the school books away, my little makes sure his toys are picked up, except for the ones he's playing with. Dinner is on the table by 5. Dh gets home around that time. We eat, I clean up dinner and we go to evening activities. The boys shower every morning.

Dh usually has some computer time after the boys are in bed, so I plan lessons then. Or I plan them when I get up, because it's usually a bit before my kiddos. I grade yesterday school work done at my folks' while I was working, over my breakfast.

I clean the house, grocery shop, hit the bank and library, plus outside activities or doctor appointments on Fridays, which is our light school day. It all gets done.

I'm a well-oiled machine! I'm tired but it all gets done.

Edited March 28, 2012 by Kalah

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

I went through fly lady and took away what I needed. I have established routines for the morning which gets everything tidy and one room dusted and vacuumed/swept, bathrooms swished and swiped (as she puts it) and commit to 2 loads of laundry per day(one of those loads is one persons bedding). I do my planning for 1 weeks at a time usually on a slow evening. I also keep up with hot spots(areas of your house that seem to collect stuff, I take a couple of minutes to clear it). I have a weekly menu sometimes for 2 or 3 weeks so I can look up and see what I need to thaw the day before. I also keep a notebook and jot down things I am running low on that I need to purchase on the next shopping trip and one for things I want to get done around the house. Now a side note I have been learning and picking up cleaning tips for a long time I've been mom for 19 years married 22. It does take time to establish routines and find what works for you and your family and it changes as the demands of your family change.

 

I have schedules and routines and I'm pretty good about following them. For example, the kids need to spend 15 mins. before story time picking up their room. We all have assigned sections of the house for cleaning on Saturday mornings. I'm pretty neat and organized (except for my scrapbooking room, which needs about a week to organize at this point! It's always my last priority!). I don't feel overwhelmed most of the time. I enjoy everything we're doing, and so do the kids- except we all dislike Cub Scouts, so that will be going. I'm not complaining about my schedule, I'm just saying I didn't know so many people had such relaxing and leisurely evenings. None of my neighbors or friends are that lucky, either! :lol:

[Tarreymere]

We are introverted hermits also. I think that means alot. I'd have to shoot myself if I had to be out of the house all week in the evening. Most of the kids are introverted hermits also, with two exceptions. One exception is an adult, so no problem there. The other is twelve, but she has her paternal grandparents at her beck and call to ferry her around. The rest of us, including the adult daughter now living with us (her Dh is in the Army) are introverted hermit types. We are also so nerdy that when my adult dd moved in we immediately started a few sets of new toons on WOW so we could do 3v3 instead of 2v2!

 

Evenings here are either playing WOW or reading. We don't have cable or any local tv channels. Sometimes we put WOW on the big screen and the younger kids watch it like it's tv. The youngest kids are five and eight and while they don't have their own accounts yet they like to sit next to us and tell us how to play!

[Shellydon]

We have one evening commitment each week, Awanas on Wednesdays. Otherwise, any activities are done during the early afternoon.

 

I do fold laundry at night after the kids go to bed. I also unload and reload the dishwasher (it runs twice each night after dinner) and make sure the kitchen is cleaned up. I have plenty of chores that I do, but I only leave the house after 6 once a week.

[Lizzie in Ma]

I get the majority of whatever I personally need to do during the early morning, 5am-8ish. That includes email, devotions, correspondence, meal planning, list making, school plans for the day, often putting dinner in the crockpot, taking care of the animals and my own chores. Then I am ready to help with school.

 

I can not see to drive at night unless it is an emergency. I prefer my day to be done by 5pm. So our outside class is once a week 1-3 which is also our family game night after supper. So, I often do get everything done before 6, yes.

 

If you have nighttime or late afternoon activities, I don't see how without a lot of careful time management and planning.

[2_girls_mommy]

We have scouts one night a week. My girls do homeschool dance during the day, one day a week. That is our out of the house learning day. We will be adding an evening of extra dance in the next year probably. I would love to add piano lessons too, but so far, haven't found anyone close. And it would need to be in the early afternoon. We have one playdate a week after P.S. lets out. And I babysit my niece on the out of the house learning day (she does hs dance there too.)

 

But our evenings besides the one scout night are pretty free. We will probably begin Wed. at church again next year for Bible studies. I had to drop it this year for other reasons.

 

We are not DONE at 6:00 though. We are not early morning schoolers. My kids are supposed to be up and start by 9, but there are days that we we don't get up until then (today) and we won't start until 10:00. Our regular school schedule ends at 4:00. So that puts us at 5:00 on the days we don't start until 10:00. That day includes the playdates and outside time, piano practice, silent reading/rest time, etc. I also do bits of laundry, dishes, gardening during the day too.

 

Last night the weather was so nice and we had extra kids over playing later than usual, that we didn't get in for our afternoon subject until dinner time. So we ate dinner, did our afternoon subject in the evening, did a quick clean up then went for a long walk since the weather is getting so nice. Then we had to get in, do showers and read and get to bed. Sleep didn't happen for the kids until after 10:00 pm, hence the late morning.

 

My dh works evenings though and isn't here. So this type of relaxed schedule and working all day works for us. He gets home late, sleeps late too. I dont' know how we would ever be done at 6:00! We would have to be much earlier risers.

[Terrilth]

This thread is (once again) making me see the necessity of a day time schedule for household chores. <sigh>

 

I probably should be doing some of that right now!:willy_nilly:

[bolt.]

Are you or your kids not in any activities in the evenings?

That's one of the reasons I like to feel like my daily responsibilities are 'done-and-over' at supper time... because if we go out, housework is 'over' even if it's not 'done' -- so I feel better if it's done.

 

Do the kids take baths/showers, etc. during the day?

Not usually. We take a Wednesday daytime shower at the swimming pool, DH does a Saturday evening bath, and that only leaves a Monday bath for me to initiate. If I feel crummy, I do it at about 4:00, because I know I'm going to want to do it even less by 6:30. Most of the time I do it at 6:30.

 

When do you do meal planning,

Sunday afternoons.

 

lesson planning, etc.?

Whenever what I've chosen so far is drawing to a close, like if we are finishing a book or something, I select the next thing and plan it out.

 

Dh doesn't do much around here, except the chores we all do on Saturday mornings,

My DH hires a cleaning service every 4 weeks so that we don't have to bother each other about the 'big' chores. I mostly focus on keeping the ongoing chores on track.

 

but he has no expectations for dinner being made or the house being cleaned. He knows better.

I wouldn't say my DH has 'expectations' -- but obviously everyone appreciates a nice home environment. I like to make that happen for all of our sakes. He's never complained.

 

So, what's the deal? How many of you have relaxing evenings at home most of the time?

Yep, most of the time... but mostly because I refuse to work when I'm exhausted. It will all still be there in the morning, so I feel fine to put it off until I feel better.

 

Almost every single evening, I read bedtime stories to the kids from 8:00 or 8:30-9:00 or 9:15.

We do one bedtime story.

 

Our schedule runs in 'blocks' of time. I don't know if there is an official way of describing this. I have 5 x 45 min blocks of time per day to do anything I want to do with the kids.

 

Morning Routine 7:00 {most of my daily chores fit here}

1 Work Block

Snack & Family Reading 9:15

2 Work Blocks

Lunch 11:30

1 Work Block

Quiet Time 1:00 - 3:00 & Snack

1 Work Block

Free Time & Dinner Prep {I also tend to do some chores here}

Dinner 5:45

Family TV episode (if it's not a bath night)

Bedtime Routine 7:00 - 7:30

 

We don't do the same things in all the work blocks every day. I just set the agenda for the day of which 5 things we are going to do and when they fit. They are not all school work most days (but my kids are still young).

[Lily_Grace]

We are done with schooling and chores by 6pm. Activities, bedtime routine, etc. are separate. Yes, I spend 3-4 days a week driving my kid around to sports, clubs, scouts, co-op...but if it happens in the evening that falls into the "parenting" part of our day and not the "homeschooling" part, if that makes sense. I have a job to do while dh is at his: keep the whirling dervish 2yo from turning everything upside down while schooling the teen. When he gets home, books are put away, dishes are cleaned, beds are made, bathrooms done..and we're ready to begin being partners - he cooks, I clean up dinner. We take turns with the kids and one on one time. We straighten the living room from the evening mess together.

 

I treat it like a job so that we have more time to enjoy together. Otherwise, with our separate schedules we'd never get time to talk, let alone relax.

[JudoMom]

One thing that struck me is how many people commented that they are "done" by the time dh comes home. How does this happen? Are you or your kids not in any activities in the evenings? Do the kids take baths/showers, etc. during the day? When do you do meal planning, lesson planning, etc.?

 

Even before I started babysitting, which is adding a whole new level to not being done by the time dh gets home, we had a busy schedule in the evenings. I know these are things I've chosen to do, and not everyone chooses to do, but here's our evening schedule:

 

Every other Monday- I lead ds2's Wolf Den meeting 6:30 PM

Alternating Mondays- Chess Club 6:30 PM

Every Tuesday- I have a dance class 7:30 PM

Every other Tuesday- dh takes ds1 to Bear Den meeting 6:30

Wednesday- generally free

Thursday- Dh has regular poker game, usually at our house, but in the basement, so I have nothing to do with it. From 6:00-12:00.

Friday- Our temple has Friday night Shabbat services which we usually attend if we do not have a Cub Scout pack event.

 

Almost every single evening, I read bedtime stories to the kids from 8:00 or 8:30-9:00 or 9:15.

 

During the weekdays, the kids go to a homeschool theatre class on Monday afternoons from 1:00-2:30. It's too far from home to drop them off and go back home, so I usually go to the library near there and hang out, or get a few errands run.

 

Once a month, they go to a homeschool Swim & Gym from 1:00 PM to 4:00 PM. Also too far to go back home, especially with these gas prices, so I hang out at the gym with the other moms and younger sibs.

 

Once a month, we have our homeschool book club on a Friday morning, from 10:00 AM- 11:30 AM.

 

We do school around 3-4 hours each day. This is being stretched out over a longer period of time with the baby here now.

 

These are the things we have planned in our schedule. I will definitely be getting rid of the Cub Scouts and hopefully replacing it with 4H or some other activity that will take less time. But next year, ds1 will also start Hebrew school on Wednesday afternoons to prepare for his Bar Mitzvah. That goes from 4:00 PM-5:30 PM.

 

Dh doesn't do much around here, except the chores we all do on Saturday mornings, but he has no expectations for dinner being made or the house being cleaned. He knows better.

 

So, on top of regularly scheduled programming, there are things like doctor appointments, extra trips to the library, needing to run to the bank or post office, SIL or a neighbor stopping by, someone dropping a glass jar of juice on the hard tile floor thus necessitating an emergency clean-up session, grocery shopping (which I refuse to do on weekends because there is never anywhere to park at Trader Joe's on the weekends, unless I go at 7:30AM and wait a half hour for them to open- which I have done!), PLUS all the time I spend on the computer.:tongue_smilie:

 

I do have more energy in the morning, so I clean up and straighten up in the morning while everyone is waking up and getting going. I do a lot of the laundry on Sunday mornings while the kids are at Sunday school for 3 hours.

 

So, what's the deal? How many of you have relaxing evenings at home most of the time?

 

On Mondays we have Judo, and are gone from 4:30-8:00. This means that I either put something in the crockpot for dinner, or I make a meal that I can put in the oven and I set the oven to come on while we're gone.

 

Tuesday nights we have a small group meeting at our house (2-4 times a month). My boys are typically gone at an enrichment program, so I usually have about 6 hours free on Tuesdays (when the program is out, I usually clean on Saturdays while they're outside), so this is when I really clean and I usually get all the extra laundry done. I also do the extra things (I write reviews, research school ideas, proofread transcripts of sermons from our church, balance the Judo books, make snacks, etc.). Again, I plan a meal that can be made/mostly made ahead, since we eat after small group at about 8:00. Dh gets home about 5:30, and the meeting starts at 6:00.

 

Wednesdays are now free. We were gone to a class at our church from 6:00-8:30, but that's over now. So I have dinner ready at about 6:30 or 7:00 (we're in the habit of eating later), but when we have a class I have it ready at 5:30.

 

Thursdays are the days it looks like my house has vomited. We're in and out and running from 12:30-8:00 because of gymnastics, Judo, and piano. It's a crockpot day or an oven day for dinner. Only on this day, I don't have time to follow the get it out/put it away immediately policy. I grade papers and/or menu plan and do my shopping lists in between classes or during piano lessons.

 

Fridays I clean up the mess from Thursday, and have dinner ready by 6:00.

 

We're schooling through the summer, and I currently have everything planned and printed for the rest of the year (I did this on Saturday while the boys were camping), so there is no more prep required of me.

 

I'm up at 4:45, and I complete thoughts while the house is quiet, work out, read, empty the dishwasher, do laundry, make sure everything is picked up, etc., before the boys are up at 7:30 for Bible study. At 8:00 they eat breakfast and shower/bathe as needed (not daily). We start school at 8:30 and break for 1-1.5 hours at noon (I rest my brain, do laundry, clean up,make snacks), and the school again until 5:00 or so (or we stop 30-60 minutes before we have to leave for an activity). Dh gets home at 5:30 or so, so that gives me 30 minutes to pick up anything that's been left out that's not in use and run the vacuum.

 

Dinner starts our family time (no matter what time we have dinner). We eat, work on our Bible memory passages, and I read our family read aloud. We have an open layout, so I spend 10-20 minutes cleaning up from dinner as soon as we're done eating, and I start the dishwasher. We go up to bed at 9:30 or 10:00.

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

I guess this is kind of why I live for summer! No cub scouts, no theatre class, no chess club, etc. This week has been nice because it's public school spring break here, so our normal activities are cancelled. I didn't even have my dance class, which was nice in a way, but I missed it.

 

I know I'm not going to be in the pool all day with 2 babies here, but we only do SOTW and occasional math in the summer so the days are low key. Before I started babysitting, it wouldn't be unusual for dh to come home from work and find us all floating around in the pool on summer afternoons. He might ask, "Any dinner tonight?" and I'd say, "Whatever you're going out to get!". Sometimes I will have planned ahead and taken something out to grill. :tongue_smilie:

 

It's interesting to see everyone's different schedules and priorities.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I am done with my schooling and housework responsibilities by 6 pm. If grading or something else isn't done by that time, it gets put on the next day's schedule. If housework isn't done (with the exception of cleaning up after dinner), then it gets put on the next day's schedule.

 

After dinner we do have sports activities but I'm not responsible for them except as a chauffeur and that isn't onerous for me and if I don't want to do it, then dh will do it for me. I drop ds off at his tae kwando and then drive on to the Y. At the Y, I drop dd off at her activity and then I go on to mine. So I see this time as a pleasure and as "me time". Dropping the kids off to their activities helps me to have my "me time";) Dh usually comes to the Y too, but he drives himself because he spends less time there. That's his "me time".

[swellmomma]

My daycare child doesn't leave until 6pm most nights, some nights later. twice a week I run out teh door at the same time as her to get the kids to their activities. That means on those 2 nights a week we do not even start cooking dinner until 8-830pm. THEN I have to start putting my house back together for the next day. Then there is the meetings for me occasionally in teh evenings and dd those girl guides is Wednesday nights seems to have an extra guide activity on another day at least twice a month. Beyond that I do not start cooking dunner until 6 pm when child leaves which means we eat around 630-7pm Then start bedtime routines etc. I don't get to put my house fully back together until those are done. Toss in taking the dog out for a walk and basically I aim to be done between midnight and 2am so that I have time to sit and read a bit before I sleep and have to wake up at 6am to begin again.

[KungFuPanda]

One thing that struck me is how many people commented that they are "done" by the time dh comes home. How does this happen? Are you or your kids not in any activities in the evenings? Do the kids take baths/showers, etc. during the day? When do you do meal planning, lesson planning, etc.?

 

 

 

 

When my kids did the most activities, we usually had free evenings. This had a LOT to do with lucky scheduling. Cubs and girl scouts were home schooled groups that met during the day at the same time and place. Dance and gymnastics were home schooled groups that met during the school day. In fact, MOST of the gazillion things my kids did outside the house ran from 2-4 in the afternoon. We schooled from 9-12 or 1, then had lunch and headed out. Nothing was more than 15 minutes from our house. The days were crazy, but the evenings and weekends were free to collapse.

 

My kids are 11 and 15 and our schedule is different now. I can carpool the oldest to most of her things, so I might haul a carload of teens to something once a month instead of every week. I can also drop them off and come back later instead of remaining on site.

 

Also, as they get older, they handle their own showers and nighttime reading. I enjoy cooking and meal planning, so I don't think of those as a chore. On the days I don't feel like cooking, my family is fine with take-out. I have the horrible habit of leaving any dinner dishes that don't fit in the dishwasher until morning.

 

The reason I was "done" by dinner time is that I had no pressure from my husband to keep every room clean at once. He appreciates when it is, but he doesn't criticize when it's not. Also, once he gets home, the only productive thing I do is cook. I just never clean with him home. I end up sitting with him and gabbing and never getting back to chores. Also, we have dinner later than most and that buys me a few extra hours.

 

I think that me 'feeling' done by dinnertime would not translate to other houses, but we're happy so I still win :-). Sometimes changing how you feel about something is more practical than changing what you do. For the last several years, our evenings have NOT been free. Older kids, even homeschoolers, seem to have more evening activities. I'm either teaching dance classes in our home studio or going to my own rehearsals most evenings. We're still happy. I think that folks who are generally happy will find a way to be so in most situations, while people who are wired to complain will find a reason to be miserable no matter what their schedules.

Edited March 28, 2012 by KungFuPanda

[BakersDozen]

We only have outside commitments on Wednesday and Sunday nights. I cherish and protect our time at home together and so greatly limit anything that disrupts that time. I make sure we are done schooling by 4:00 and I then use from 4-5 for any planning that needs to be done (although I try to plan my entire year out so that eliminates the need for ongoing planning). At 5:00 we do inside/outside cleanup and get dinner ready to eat by 5:30. My goal is dinner done by 6:00, cleanup by 6:45 (that includes showers, vacuuming, wipe down, dishes, etc.). With 15 minutes or so of flex time that leaves us a good 1-1.5 hours of family time (bedtime starts at 8:00 with the "littles" and goes through 8:45 for the older ones).

 

Now that we are looking at the last precious years with our older dc I am so glad we never filled our evenings or calendar overall with busyness.

[Elinor Everywhere]

We really are done by 6, unless the kids haven't finished their schoolwork. If that happens, they take their books to their bedrooms and finish. Either way, I'M done by 6, and usually before that.

 

The only evening event we have is a once-a-month book club for my dd. She plays tennis twice a week, but is finished by 6:00. My husband cooks if he's in town, so by the time I get back from picking up my dd from tennis, dinner is ready.

 

My dd also takes violin lessons, but that's during the day. She works a part-time job, but that's also during the daytime hours. My son takes an archery class, but he's finished with that by 6:30, and we eat when we get home (again, my dh cooks, or if he's out of town, I'll have put something in the crock pot).

 

The kids take turn doing dinner dishes, while dh and I relax and talk about our days. Then we will usually all watch something on Netflix or Apple TV, either a documentary or movie that meshes with our history studies, or a TV show like Downton Abbey or Star Trek. So, most evenings find us all home relaxing in front of the TV together.

[PeacefulChaos]

One thing that struck me is how many people commented that they are "done" by the time dh comes home. How does this happen? Are you or your kids not in any activities in the evenings? Do the kids take baths/showers, etc. during the day? When do you do meal planning, lesson planning, etc.?

 

Even before I started babysitting, which is adding a whole new level to not being done by the time dh gets home, we had a busy schedule in the evenings. I know these are things I've chosen to do, and not everyone chooses to do, but here's our evening schedule:

 

Every other Monday- I lead ds2's Wolf Den meeting 6:30 PM

Alternating Mondays- Chess Club 6:30 PM

Every Tuesday- I have a dance class 7:30 PM

Every other Tuesday- dh takes ds1 to Bear Den meeting 6:30

Wednesday- generally free

Thursday- Dh has regular poker game, usually at our house, but in the basement, so I have nothing to do with it. From 6:00-12:00.

Friday- Our temple has Friday night Shabbat services which we usually attend if we do not have a Cub Scout pack event.

 

Almost every single evening, I read bedtime stories to the kids from 8:00 or 8:30-9:00 or 9:15.

 

During the weekdays, the kids go to a homeschool theatre class on Monday afternoons from 1:00-2:30. It's too far from home to drop them off and go back home, so I usually go to the library near there and hang out, or get a few errands run.

 

Once a month, they go to a homeschool Swim & Gym from 1:00 PM to 4:00 PM. Also too far to go back home, especially with these gas prices, so I hang out at the gym with the other moms and younger sibs.

 

Once a month, we have our homeschool book club on a Friday morning, from 10:00 AM- 11:30 AM.

 

We do school around 3-4 hours each day. This is being stretched out over a longer period of time with the baby here now.

 

These are the things we have planned in our schedule. I will definitely be getting rid of the Cub Scouts and hopefully replacing it with 4H or some other activity that will take less time. But next year, ds1 will also start Hebrew school on Wednesday afternoons to prepare for his Bar Mitzvah. That goes from 4:00 PM-5:30 PM.

 

Dh doesn't do much around here, except the chores we all do on Saturday mornings, but he has no expectations for dinner being made or the house being cleaned. He knows better.

 

So, on top of regularly scheduled programming, there are things like doctor appointments, extra trips to the library, needing to run to the bank or post office, SIL or a neighbor stopping by, someone dropping a glass jar of juice on the hard tile floor thus necessitating an emergency clean-up session, grocery shopping (which I refuse to do on weekends because there is never anywhere to park at Trader Joe's on the weekends, unless I go at 7:30AM and wait a half hour for them to open- which I have done!), PLUS all the time I spend on the computer.:tongue_smilie:

 

I do have more energy in the morning, so I clean up and straighten up in the morning while everyone is waking up and getting going. I do a lot of the laundry on Sunday mornings while the kids are at Sunday school for 3 hours.

 

So, what's the deal? How many of you have relaxing evenings at home most of the time?

 

One of the biggest differences to me is that, for me, the kids taking a bath or shower does not equal me not being 'done'. Me reading to them before bed (we read one book, the kids take turns picking) also, to me, is not the same as me not being 'done'.

A regular week for us is this:

Sunday: church 9-1, lunch (at home if I chose to get up at 7:30 to get something in the crock pot, which I SHOULD do :lol: ), DS6's soccer game (starting this week) anywhere between 2-5 (varies), DS8's swimming lesson (until the end of April) 5:45-6:30, then home for pb&j/leftovers for dinner. I make my meal schedule for the week during free time on Sunday and go grocery shopping after swimming on Sunday nights. I usually get home around 8:30-9:00 pm.

Monday: DH gets up at 6:45 and walks to work, he gets there at 7:30. (walk is only minutes). I set my alarm for 8, generally hit snooze until 8:30, and then get up and take a shower. The kids are awake when I get out, I help them get breakfast if needed and finish getting myself ready/start getting school stuff ready. Make any copies needed for the day/get their math sheets out. We do school, usually, from 9:30 on... I do some laundry during, or load/unload the dishwasher when both boys have some work to do independently. DD entertains herself well. We've finished all our 'morning' work (individual work) by 12, when DH comes home for lunch. He and the kids eat, and he lays DD down for her nap before he goes back around 12:30ish. The boys and I finish up whatever it is for the day - usually Bible and one other subject (history, science, geography, art, or music), and we read a chapter of our current read aloud. They either head outside/to their room to play/to my room to play a video game around 1:30, at which point I start my lunch. I goof off and watch any shows I want to catch up on/get on the internet from then until 4ish, sometimes later, depending on the day.

Sometimes I get some housework done in the mornings, sometimes not. I don't really worry about it much.

DH gets off work at 4ish (usually home by 4:30, but not always), and he has EMT class at 6. So I start dinner around 4:30 and we eat around 5. While he's gone, I might make lesson plans - but I'm making them for next year. I made all of this year's lesson plans last spring, so I don't really have anything current that I need to get done. So I just kind of work on next year's plans in the afternoons/evenings when I don't have anything else to do. The kids go to bed at 9. DH is usually done with class by then.

Tuesday: same as monday. Zumba at 4:00. I get home around 5:15 and make dinner. DH has meetings the 2nd and 3rd Tuesdays of the month at 7.

Wednesday: same as the others. Today was a dentist appt for both boys at 2 - we were out of there by 2:25. :D Went and got ice cream, DS6 has soccer practice at 5, DH has to be at the church by 5, and if it were a regular Wednesday night, we would all have church at 7. (Easter musical practice this week cancelled everything else.)

Thursday: same again. DH has EMT class at 6 again.

Friday: our shortest school day, usually. We generally get everything done - even the things we do together - by lunchtime. Friday night we usually don't have any plans. To me, not having any plans= being done for the day. If we are at home, and we can do whatever we please, I am done for the day. I may still have some laundry to put away, but I don't usually do it in the evenings. Like I said before, if the kids need to bathe, they can, but I don't classify that as not being 'done'. Yes, I load up the dishwasher and start it if necessary after dinner, but after that, even if there are things that I COULD still do, I don't HAVE to do them, so I'm as good as done in my book. :D

Saturday: depends on the week. DH has EMT class every other, usually (his class ends the middle of April though, so we're almost done). He works one weekend a month, 7:30-4. This weekend he's helping his brother build a deck on his house. We don't really do 'free weekends' lol. :) Though when we do have one and I don't have anywhere I want to go, and he doesn't have anything to do (which is rare) I like to take that time to get some good cleaning done - the stuff that I don't try to get done on a weekly/bi-weekly basis.

I think the biggest difference actually lies more in personality with me. For me, the little, normal things of life - like bedtime stuff, bathing, etc - doesn't count toward housework or anything like that. but I'm a choleric, and I'm really fast paced for the most part, so I always have to feel like I'm doing something. So I think that what to me is 'doing nothing', for other people would feel like doing something. Does that make any sense?

Anyway, that was way longer than I intended. :) Sorry about that!

 

ETA: (because it wasn't long enough already! ) Once DH is done with his class, we will probably go through a dry spell for awhile where we have more time 'free'. Inevitably, this will drive me insane. :D And I will fill it with other things. Because we're actually LESS busy now than we were BEFORE his class - or maybe it was just that, before, I was more busy, since his class doesn't involve me. :)

Edited March 28, 2012 by PeacefulChaos

[kwickimom]

I agree that I don't count baths/showers and nighttime reading as "work" When I am done by 6 I mean all school and I have a presentable house and the laundry is "done."

 

And as a stay at home hs'ing mom when I say done, I mean done enough for the day. I know nothing is really ever done and nothing is ever perfect by any means. But you can walk in my house after 6 and it is guest ready...bathrooms are clean, clutter away, surfaces clear, swept and vac'd. Pets and people are fed. Personal hygiene and picking up after oneself still happens. Dinner needs cleared and table wiped. Night read a louds are considered a family activity

[lauracolumbus]

When my kids were young, we were home a lot more in the evenings, and it was relaxing as the kids played w/the neighbor kids.

 

Now, everyone, my kids included, is involved in more organized activities. I let me kids participate in several activities each. I've decided to justify this by concluding this is just who we are. My kids love everything they do. We do have to make decisions to limit the #, but for the most part they are the most active kids I know--sports, clubs, piano, acting, etc. It used to bother me that we weren't the rigorous homeschoolers of my dreams, but then I realized how much they get out of all of our field trips/activities. Just a different path.

 

Since I'm often taking at least one kid somewhere, I mostly focus on cleaning my kitchen. Meals are simple. My dh is exactly like yours. He doesn't help much, and he knows if he's not going to be part of the solution he better not say anything. Plus, he prefers to hire out as much help as possible. We do have a cleaning service, which helps a bit and a lawn service. A lot of mornings are spent cleaning up our second dinner of the night (my kids come home ravenous from their sports) and anything else I have time for.

 

Planning is sort of on the fly as is any other housework. My kids are all old enough to bathe themselves, so that chore (thank goodness) is gone.

 

Laura

[chepyl]

We get moving between 8 and 10 each morning. We do school, eating breakfast as we work sometimes, it takes 1-1.5 hours. Then I spend 1.5-2 hours on chores. Sometimes longer if I get behind. I try to get an hour of desk work for the studio in, sometimes I forego chores to get a big project done. We eat lunch around 2. Recently, I have been resting/napping and then I shower and get ready to teach. If DH is home I leave around 3:30, if he is working I leave by 3:45 when he gets home or when the sitter arrives after school.

 

Evenings:

 

Monday and Tuesday- I teach from 4-8:30

 

Wed- kids have gymnastics at 5, I teach at 6 while DS has dance class. If DH is done working he picks dd up from the gym, otherwise we all go next door and she hangs in the office. We are done at 7:30.

 

Thursday - I teach 4-7:30, DS goes with me and has theater at 5:15. Dd goes when dh works.

 

Fri - both kids have dance and I teach at 4. Dh picks kids up at 5:30 when they are done. I am done at 6:45.,

 

We generally eat dinner after I come home. Most nights it is 8:30-9 before we eat. If it is a bath night we do that, otherwise we try to get in a story and family time before bed. 11 is the absolute latest. We are aiming for 10-10:30, well I am....I need more sleep while pregnant ;)

 

Kids sleep until they wake up.

[Ecclecticmum]

We don't really have "relaxing evenings". All we do is drop the schoolwork if Daddy is home. If he has a day off work, we have a day off school. We base our schooling round his timetable. 1. Because he is a distraction, the kids don't pay attention, and he actually distracts us from schooling! (asks questions, fiddles with things, hes like a big 3yo LOL). And 2. because Daddy time is more important.

 

If they need a bath, we both bathe them, he tucks them into bed and reads them stories (and usually falls asleep at the same time :lol: ) I use the evenings to spend a bit of alone time with him, and when he plays his playstation or works on his computer or conference calls etc, I plan stuff on my computer (meals, school, banking etc).

 

We know how precious time with Daddy is, so everything revolves around that. He has the final say in things (unless it certain stuff, like the kids schooling, clothes, bills etc, I mean more like final demands, or decisions on weekend activities).

 

The kids and I are going to start up a morning and evening chore routine to lessen the stuff on Daddys plate (I have CFS and a bending problem that makes it hard to pick stuff up from the ground). We usually work together on stuff like fixing and cleaning up the house.

 

We take turns in laundry, I have been a bit lax lately, due to not feeling crash hot, but he has taken over and made sure the laundry has kept moving.

 

Basically its just schoolwork stops, but we have to concentrate more on cleaning throughout the day, the littlies get into things that I just don't have the energy to fix during the day and usually fix in the evenings after hes put the kids to bed (stuff like emptying out the laundry baskets, messes around the bathroom sink from their water play etc) but this has made Daddy stressed to get home and see this, so its something we have to rememdy, otherwise hes a grouchy bear all evening :D

[Melissa in Australia]

Here is my schedule

up at 6 put on laundry and fold previous day's laundry

7 ~ milk house cow

8~ shower and dressed for the day

All children get themselves breakfast and do their morning chores

8.20 ~ correct everyone's math from previous day and mark out lessons for older ds's ( this is by putting sticky notes on how many pages of their texts I want them to work through.)

9~ lessons start for all children

While lessons are happening, I hang out the laundry and make beds. I go from child to child giving assistance. ds8 still needs intensive support with his lessons.

between 11-12 children finish their morning work. they are allowed to play on the computer for 30 minutes if they have their morning school work finished by this time

1 pm~ afternoon schoolwork starts ( either history or science)

3pm~ school over, afternoon chores start

4pm ~basketball 4 nights a week. I referee the basketball, so I need to go I have a roster for each child cooking on these nights

6.30 dinner time

7 pm ~ I start my study ( doing bachelor of education )

children have bed times depending on their age

10.30 ~ my bedtime