bookfiend Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 (edited) and other conversation stoppers. Care to share yours? Rosie posted this fabulous response to inappropriate questions on this thread Answers to those who question homeschooling I would love to have an arsenal of brief statements that charmingly derail a conversation. You know, those conversations where someone throws down a flaming torch on the topics of marriage, homeschooling, religion, politics... Edited March 8, 2012 by bookfiend Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
********* Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 Hmm, I rather like Rosie's idea. It sure makes the other person think, without being rude on my part. I'll have to tuck that one in the back of my mind for later... I've also heard mentioned "Well, that's ONE way to look at it", and "Wow, I can't believe you actually just said that", but that second one there is more rude than I'd usually be. Of course, there are those random stranger encounters where it could be useful. ;) But honestly, the only rude comments I've had about homeschooling have come from family. Sigh. Strangers have all, so far at least, been encouraging, kind, and interested. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dmmetler Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 "We all want what's best for our children". That's the one I use with the mom in DD's gymnastics class who is a teacher and has a whole library of kids returning from homeschooling and failing stories-and seems amazed that I actually USE books! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoughCollie Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 It has to be a charming response? I just say, "Talk to someone else about that. I don't like to talk about X." This is my usual response to most people who want me to argue with them about controversial topics. I pretty sure I don't know how to be charming. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 "If you really want to hear my views on it, we could try to talk when the kids aren't listening in." "I know that's a common belief." [smile & leave or change subject.] "I've heard that one, chuckle." "If you say so." (With close people or royal buttheads.) "Excuse me, I need to go beat my kid." (Yes, I have used this.) "Speaking of ____, that reminds me about [some current event / change of topic]. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NotAVampireLvr Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 But honestly, the only rude comments I've had about homeschooling have come from family. Sigh. Strangers have all, so far at least, been encouraging, kind, and interested. I hear ya. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2bbj Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 But honestly, the only rude comments I've had about homeschooling have come from family. Sigh. Strangers have all, so far at least, been encouraging, kind, and interested. Not to hijack this thread, but we recently decided to HS DD next year and ONLY my family has been negative...thought it was just MY family. Glad to know I am not alone- again...:confused: Vickie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MegP Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 "When you are finishing critiquing my educational decisions for my children, then I will critique yours." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HollyDay Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 some of my favorites to use in general, not necessarily about homeschool: "hummmm, that is something to think about" "I'll have to think on that and get back to you" "let's talk again at a later date" "yes, there are many views on ........." "isn't it wonderful we can make such individual choices......" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bookfiend Posted March 8, 2012 Author Share Posted March 8, 2012 There is someone in my extended circle who, I swear, thinks up a controversial question to lob at me in the middle of group functions. It usually comes out of the blue, and I'm left flabbergasted. The last one occured while we were on a summer tubing trip with 35 friends. He shouts across the river "So, K. what do you believe about creation vs. intelligent design?" My FIL often drops big political statements or incindiary religious views into family gatherings. As intended a heated, pointless discussion ensues. I don't want to be rude or offputting as I am in relationship with these folks. Changing the subject sometimes works, but not always. Wish I were better with Rosie's brand of off-beat humor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddykate Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 "When you are finishing critiquing my educational decisions for my children, then I will critique yours." I like that one! I have had a couple of situations where I wish I had said it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in Neverland Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 Well, if I don't particularly care what the person thinks then my favorite snarky response is: Let's play a game called "mind your own business". You can go first. I've used that one with nosey cashiers and random strangers who make comments. If I do care about the person then I usually say "We all have to make our own decisions" or something equally vague. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 In a way, I'd sometimes rather hear what other nonsense is about to be spewed by the person. It can be so funny. I recall some of the most funnily ridiculous questions connected with my adoption. My catch-all response to adoption judgment is "it's not for everyone." I guess that would work with homeschooling as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MegP Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 Well, if I don't particularly care what the person thinks then my favorite snarky response is: Let's play a game called "mind your own business". You can go first. I've used that one with nosey cashiers and random strangers who make comments. If I do care about the person then I usually say "We all have to make our own decisions" or something equally vague. I love it!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ravinlunachick Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 My old favorite from when I had my first child and was breastfeeding, much to the chagrin of apparently our entire families: Why in the world would you think that's appropriate to say/ask? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shellers Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 Well, if I don't particularly care what the person thinks then my favorite snarky response is: Let's play a game called "mind your own business". You can go first. I've used that one with nosey cashiers and random strangers who make comments. If I do care about the person then I usually say "We all have to make our own decisions" or something equally vague. I need to remember this one! So far I have been lucky and haven't heard anything negative about homeschooling. I'm sure I'm overdue. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucy in Australia Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 When my older DS was about 12, he would listen to me make some point or other that he apparently disagreed with and then he would say. :"Hmmmm.... intriguing....", and just walk away. It nearly did my head in, I tell you, but then I discovered it was quite effective with those "going nowhere" conversations you get with other parents :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 "Don't you just hate it when something sounds good in your head, but when you actually say it out loud, it makes you sound like an a$$?" *sweet smile* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fraidycat Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 There is someone in my extended circle who, I swear, thinks up a controversial question to lob at me in the middle of group functions. It usually comes out of the blue, and I'm left flabbergasted. The last one occured while we were on a summer tubing trip with 35 friends. He shouts across the river "So, K. what do you believe about creation vs. intelligent design?" My FIL often drops big political statements or incindiary religious views into family gatherings. As intended a heated, pointless discussion ensues. I don't want to be rude or offputting as I am in relationship with these folks. Changing the subject sometimes works, but not always. Wish I were better with Rosie's brand of off-beat humor. My standard response if somebody asks me what I think and I don't care to answer is "I try not to think, it hurts too much." Hahaha - conversation derailed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beth. Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 "Why do you ask?" is my go-to response for nosy questions. But, I am off to perfect the "Let's play a game called MYOB ..." in the mirror right now! We have two kiddos with open adoptions and people get nosy about it all.the.time. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyfaithe Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 Gosh, I could have used a few of these a few minutes ago. I called a friend (Scout dad, on the school board, I value his opinion) to chat about college choices his ds and my dd are wrestling with. However, I did NOT expect him to launch into, "There is NO WAY I'd let my boys have anything to do with the military! I would NOT LET THEM DO IT!" This after I just said that dd has a full-ride ROTC scholarship and he knows my next oldest is a Navy helo pilot. After I picked my jaw up on the ground, my response was, "I am proud of my dd for her service and I hope my next one also serves and I will support their military careers 100%." It was one of those awkward moments. Oy! Fwiw, I am really proud of your daughters! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fraidycat Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 So far I have been lucky and haven't heard anything negative about homeschooling. I'm sure I'm overdue. :iagree: I've had nothing but positive responses from my family and friends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyGrace Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 I LOVE What a funny thing to say-to answer comments and Why do you ask-to answer questions I'm going to steal these! They are vague but yet not too offensive. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fraidycat Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 Gosh, I could have used a few of these a few minutes ago. I called a friend (Scout dad, on the school board, I value his opinion) to chat about college choices his ds and my dd are wrestling with. However, I did NOT expect him to launch into, "There is NO WAY I'd let my boys have anything to do with the military! I would NOT LET THEM DO IT!" This after I just said that dd has a full-ride ROTC scholarship and he knows my next oldest is a Navy helo pilot. After I picked my jaw up on the ground, my response was, "I am proud of my dd for her service and I hope my next one also serves and I will support their military careers 100%." It was one of those awkward moments. Luckily for his boys, they can decide for themselves at 18. :D I say the same thing as him, though. Actually, more along the lines of I HOPE my kids don't choose military. Caveat here: My DH is active duty military right now and I (and my kids) know first hand how hard it is on families. Impish, I LOVE your response!!:lol: I'm going to try to remember that one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rivka Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 Miss Manners suggests, "It's so kind of you to take an interest." It can be said with gushing sweetness or through clenched teeth, depending on the level of provocation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bookfiend Posted March 9, 2012 Author Share Posted March 9, 2012 Miss Manners suggests, "It's so kind of you to take an interest." It can be said with gushing sweetness or through clenched teeth, depending on the level of provocation. Ohhh, that is so wonderfully loaded with possibilities! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JennifersLost Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 I use one of the "Wow...." offshoots. Person: "But you aren't a qualified teacher. How can you teach your kids?" Me: "Wow - it sounds like you're saying I'm too stupid to have thought this through very well. Did you mean to say that?" Person: "If you keep homeschooling, your kids won't know how to make friends." Me: "Wow - It sounds like you think I'm doing a lousy job as a parent. Did you mean to say that?" Most people will be too busy apologizing to ever get back to the original question. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassenach Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 I use one of the "Wow...." offshoots. Person: "But you aren't a qualified teacher. How can you teach your kids?" Me: "Wow - it sounds like you're saying I'm too stupid to have thought this through very well. Did you mean to say that?" Person: "If you keep homeschooling, your kids won't know how to make friends." Me: "Wow - It sounds like you think I'm doing a lousy job as a parent. Did you mean to say that?" Most people will be too busy apologizing to ever get back to the original question. Those are really good. Tucking them away and hoping to remember them during a conversation rather than after! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RanchGirl Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 I use 'why do you ask' all the time. It's doesn't answer the question, it doesn't overtly offend the asker, and it often leads to interesting insight. At the very least, it is making them re-state, and hopefully re-think, what they are saying to me. I have also been known to develop selective hearing loss. This is useful with cashiers and others whom I really don't wish to engage in further conversation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meggie Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 I've been known to say, "Well then I guess it's a good thing it's not your problem to worry about, isn't it?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisbeth Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 "Don't you just hate it when something sounds good in your head, but when you actually say it out loud, it makes you sound like an a$$?" *sweet smile* Love this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisbeth Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 Miss Manners suggests, "It's so kind of you to take an interest." It can be said with gushing sweetness or through clenched teeth, depending on the level of provocation. Yum...love this too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joyofsixreboot Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 It depends on the situation as others have said. When dh's boss started in my answer was " possibly" and " that's one point of view". Cashiers and strangers get " why do you care? ". Or possibly something, er, saltier if it has become heated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThisIsTheDay Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 A few times, I've been able to respond, "Haha, I thought you just asked me _______________________! What did you really say?" My dad pulled the "they need to go to high school because of the socialization" twice. Both times, I pretended to hear him incorrectly and gush about how much I agree--the socialization aspect of high school is just so terrible, blah, blah, blah, I was so glad he also thought we should keep them home. He was speechless, lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MegP Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 A few times, I've been able to respond, "Haha, I thought you just asked me _______________________! What did you really say?" My dad pulled the "they need to go to high school because of the socialization" twice. Both times, I pretended to hear him incorrectly and gush about how much I agree--the socialization aspect of high school is just so terrible, blah, blah, blah, I was so glad he also thought we should keep them home. He was speechless, lol. I do this, too. Random person-"You homeschool? But what about socialization?" me-"Exactly! That is why we homeschool! The socialization problems at the public schools are getting worse and worse, don't you think?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alisoncooks Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 Haha, I'm loving this thread. When people make inappropriate statements re: my decisions/family, I tend to be of the stammering/blushing/mumbling/shrugging sort. :001_huh: (But I can come up with all manner of witty replies later. Much later. :glare: ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sparkle Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 Sometimes when people ask me "Why?" about homeschooling, I'll just say, "Why not?" Other times, I will just smile and say nothing, or give a vague answer, if I feel like it's not their business. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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