"What a funny thing to say."

[bookfiend]

and other conversation stoppers. Care to share yours? Rosie posted this fabulous response to inappropriate questions on this thread Answers to those who question homeschooling

 

I would love to have an arsenal of brief statements that charmingly derail a conversation. You know, those conversations where someone throws down a flaming torch on the topics of marriage, homeschooling, religion, politics...

Edited March 8, 2012 by bookfiend

[*********]

Hmm, I rather like Rosie's idea. It sure makes the other person think, without being rude on my part. I'll have to tuck that one in the back of my mind for later...

 

I've also heard mentioned "Well, that's ONE way to look at it", and "Wow, I can't believe you actually just said that", but that second one there is more rude than I'd usually be. Of course, there are those random stranger encounters where it could be useful. ;)

 

But honestly, the only rude comments I've had about homeschooling have come from family. Sigh. Strangers have all, so far at least, been encouraging, kind, and interested.

[Dmmetler]

"We all want what's best for our children". That's the one I use with the mom in DD's gymnastics class who is a teacher and has a whole library of kids returning from homeschooling and failing stories-and seems amazed that I actually USE books!

[RoughCollie]

It has to be a charming response? I just say, "Talk to someone else about that. I don't like to talk about X." This is my usual response to most people who want me to argue with them about controversial topics.

 

I pretty sure I don't know how to be charming. :)

[SKL]

"If you really want to hear my views on it, we could try to talk when the kids aren't listening in."

 

"I know that's a common belief." [smile & leave or change subject.]

 

"I've heard that one, chuckle."

 

"If you say so." (With close people or royal buttheads.)

 

"Excuse me, I need to go beat my kid." (Yes, I have used this.)

 

"Speaking of ____, that reminds me about [some current event / change of topic].

[NotAVampireLvr]

But honestly, the only rude comments I've had about homeschooling have come from family. Sigh. Strangers have all, so far at least, been encouraging, kind, and interested.

 

 

I hear ya.

[mom2bbj]

But honestly, the only rude comments I've had about homeschooling have come from family. Sigh. Strangers have all, so far at least, been encouraging, kind, and interested.

 

Not to hijack this thread, but we recently decided to HS DD next year and ONLY my family has been negative...thought it was just MY family. Glad to know I am not alone- again...:confused:

 

Vickie

[MegP]

"When you are finishing critiquing my educational decisions for my children, then I will critique yours."

[HollyDay]

some of my favorites to use in general, not necessarily about homeschool:

"hummmm, that is something to think about"

"I'll have to think on that and get back to you"

"let's talk again at a later date"

"yes, there are many views on ........."

"isn't it wonderful we can make such individual choices......"

[bookfiend]

There is someone in my extended circle who, I swear, thinks up a controversial question to lob at me in the middle of group functions. It usually comes out of the blue, and I'm left flabbergasted. The last one occured while we were on a summer tubing trip with 35 friends. He shouts across the river "So, K. what do you believe about creation vs. intelligent design?"

 

My FIL often drops big political statements or incindiary religious views into family gatherings. As intended a heated, pointless discussion ensues.

 

I don't want to be rude or offputting as I am in relationship with these folks. Changing the subject sometimes works, but not always. Wish I were better with Rosie's brand of off-beat humor.

[maddykate]

"When you are finishing critiquing my educational decisions for my children, then I will critique yours."

 

I like that one! I have had a couple of situations where I wish I had said it.

[Heather in Neverland]

Well, if I don't particularly care what the person thinks then my favorite snarky response is:

 

Let's play a game called "mind your own business". You can go first.

 

I've used that one with nosey cashiers and random strangers who make comments.

 

 

If I do care about the person then I usually say "We all have to make our own decisions" or something equally vague.

[SKL]

In a way, I'd sometimes rather hear what other nonsense is about to be spewed by the person. It can be so funny. I recall some of the most funnily ridiculous questions connected with my adoption. My catch-all response to adoption judgment is "it's not for everyone." I guess that would work with homeschooling as well.

[MegP]

Well, if I don't particularly care what the person thinks then my favorite snarky response is:

 

Let's play a game called "mind your own business". You can go first.

 

I've used that one with nosey cashiers and random strangers who make comments.

 

 

If I do care about the person then I usually say "We all have to make our own decisions" or something equally vague.

 

I love it!!!!

[ravinlunachick]

My old favorite from when I had my first child and was breastfeeding, much to the chagrin of apparently our entire families: Why in the world would you think that's appropriate to say/ask?

[Shellers]

Well, if I don't particularly care what the person thinks then my favorite snarky response is:

 

Let's play a game called "mind your own business". You can go first.

 

I've used that one with nosey cashiers and random strangers who make comments.

 

 

If I do care about the person then I usually say "We all have to make our own decisions" or something equally vague.

 

I need to remember this one!

 

So far I have been lucky and haven't heard anything negative about homeschooling. I'm sure I'm overdue.

[Lucy in Australia]

When my older DS was about 12, he would listen to me make some point or other that he apparently disagreed with and then he would say. :"Hmmmm.... intriguing....", and just walk away. It nearly did my head in, I tell you, but then I discovered it was quite effective with those "going nowhere" conversations you get with other parents :)

[Impish]

"Don't you just hate it when something sounds good in your head, but when you actually say it out loud, it makes you sound like an a$$?" *sweet smile*

[fraidycat]

There is someone in my extended circle who, I swear, thinks up a controversial question to lob at me in the middle of group functions. It usually comes out of the blue, and I'm left flabbergasted. The last one occured while we were on a summer tubing trip with 35 friends. He shouts across the river "So, K. what do you believe about creation vs. intelligent design?"

 

My FIL often drops big political statements or incindiary religious views into family gatherings. As intended a heated, pointless discussion ensues.

 

I don't want to be rude or offputting as I am in relationship with these folks. Changing the subject sometimes works, but not always. Wish I were better with Rosie's brand of off-beat humor.

 

My standard response if somebody asks me what I think and I don't care to answer is "I try not to think, it hurts too much." Hahaha - conversation derailed.

[Beth.]

"Why do you ask?" is my go-to response for nosy questions. But, I am off to perfect the "Let's play a game called MYOB ..." in the mirror right now! We have two kiddos with open adoptions and people get nosy about it all.the.time. :glare:

[Mommyfaithe]

Gosh, I could have used a few of these a few minutes ago. I called a friend (Scout dad, on the school board, I value his opinion) to chat about college choices his ds and my dd are wrestling with. However, I did NOT expect him to launch into, "There is NO WAY I'd let my boys have anything to do with the military! I would NOT LET THEM DO IT!" This after I just said that dd has a full-ride ROTC scholarship and he knows my next oldest is a Navy helo pilot. After I picked my jaw up on the ground, my response was, "I am proud of my dd for her service and I hope my next one also serves and I will support their military careers 100%." It was one of those awkward moments.

 

Oy! Fwiw, I am really proud of your daughters!

[fraidycat]

 

So far I have been lucky and haven't heard anything negative about homeschooling. I'm sure I'm overdue.

 

:iagree: I've had nothing but positive responses from my family and friends.

[HappyGrace]

I LOVE

 

What a funny thing to say-to answer comments

 

and

 

Why do you ask-to answer questions

 

I'm going to steal these! They are vague but yet not too offensive. ;)

[fraidycat]

Gosh, I could have used a few of these a few minutes ago. I called a friend (Scout dad, on the school board, I value his opinion) to chat about college choices his ds and my dd are wrestling with. However, I did NOT expect him to launch into, "There is NO WAY I'd let my boys have anything to do with the military! I would NOT LET THEM DO IT!" This after I just said that dd has a full-ride ROTC scholarship and he knows my next oldest is a Navy helo pilot. After I picked my jaw up on the ground, my response was, "I am proud of my dd for her service and I hope my next one also serves and I will support their military careers 100%." It was one of those awkward moments.

 

Luckily for his boys, they can decide for themselves at 18. :D

 

I say the same thing as him, though. Actually, more along the lines of I HOPE my kids don't choose military. Caveat here: My DH is active duty military right now and I (and my kids) know first hand how hard it is on families.

 

Impish, I LOVE your response!!:lol: I'm going to try to remember that one.

[Rivka]

Miss Manners suggests, "It's so kind of you to take an interest." It can be said with gushing sweetness or through clenched teeth, depending on the level of provocation.

[bookfiend]

Miss Manners suggests, "It's so kind of you to take an interest." It can be said with gushing sweetness or through clenched teeth, depending on the level of provocation.

 

Ohhh, that is so wonderfully loaded with possibilities!

[JennifersLost]

I use one of the "Wow...." offshoots.

 

Person: "But you aren't a qualified teacher. How can you teach your kids?"

 

Me: "Wow - it sounds like you're saying I'm too stupid to have thought this through very well. Did you mean to say that?"

 

Person: "If you keep homeschooling, your kids won't know how to make friends."

 

Me: "Wow - It sounds like you think I'm doing a lousy job as a parent. Did you mean to say that?"

 

Most people will be too busy apologizing to ever get back to the original question.

[sassenach]

I use one of the "Wow...." offshoots.

 

Person: "But you aren't a qualified teacher. How can you teach your kids?"

 

Me: "Wow - it sounds like you're saying I'm too stupid to have thought this through very well. Did you mean to say that?"

 

Person: "If you keep homeschooling, your kids won't know how to make friends."

 

Me: "Wow - It sounds like you think I'm doing a lousy job as a parent. Did you mean to say that?"

 

Most people will be too busy apologizing to ever get back to the original question.

 

Those are really good. Tucking them away and hoping to remember them during a conversation rather than after!

[RanchGirl]

I use 'why do you ask' all the time. It's doesn't answer the question, it doesn't overtly offend the asker, and it often leads to interesting insight. At the very least, it is making them re-state, and hopefully re-think, what they are saying to me. I have also been known to develop selective hearing loss. This is useful with cashiers and others whom I really don't wish to engage in further conversation.

[meggie]

I've been known to say, "Well then I guess it's a good thing it's not your problem to worry about, isn't it?"

[Lisbeth]

"Don't you just hate it when something sounds good in your head, but when you actually say it out loud, it makes you sound like an a$$?" *sweet smile*

 

Love this.

[Lisbeth]

Miss Manners suggests, "It's so kind of you to take an interest." It can be said with gushing sweetness or through clenched teeth, depending on the level of provocation.

 

Yum...love this too.

[Joyofsixreboot]

It depends on the situation as others have said. When dh's boss started in my answer was " possibly" and " that's one point of view". Cashiers and strangers get " why do you care? ". Or possibly something, er, saltier if it has become heated.

[ThisIsTheDay]

A few times, I've been able to respond, "Haha, I thought you just asked me _______________________! What did you really say?"

 

 

My dad pulled the "they need to go to high school because of the socialization" twice. Both times, I pretended to hear him incorrectly and gush about how much I agree--the socialization aspect of high school is just so terrible, blah, blah, blah, I was so glad he also thought we should keep them home. He was speechless, lol.

[MegP]

A few times, I've been able to respond, "Haha, I thought you just asked me _______________________! What did you really say?"

 

 

My dad pulled the "they need to go to high school because of the socialization" twice. Both times, I pretended to hear him incorrectly and gush about how much I agree--the socialization aspect of high school is just so terrible, blah, blah, blah, I was so glad he also thought we should keep them home. He was speechless, lol.

 

 

I do this, too.

 

Random person-"You homeschool? But what about socialization?"

 

me-"Exactly! That is why we homeschool! The socialization problems at the public schools are getting worse and worse, don't you think?"

[alisoncooks]

Haha, I'm loving this thread.

When people make inappropriate statements re: my decisions/family, I tend to be of the stammering/blushing/mumbling/shrugging sort. :001_huh:

 

(But I can come up with all manner of witty replies later. Much later. :glare: )

[Sparkle]

Sometimes when people ask me "Why?" about homeschooling, I'll just say, "Why not?" Other times, I will just smile and say nothing, or give a vague answer, if I feel like it's not their business.