ugh...another "Aspie Christmas"

[ktgrok]

Those who have kids with Aspergers know what I mean.

 

I swear I'm ready to give up on the entire holiday. Or at least not spend it with relatives, so I'm not embarrassed in front of them.

[Twigs]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[DawnM]

:grouphug:

We don't spend it with relatives. But the gift he opened on Christmas Eve he threw back at me (not to hit me) and said "This was very poorly rated on Amazon and it looks really boring. I don't want it."

Edited December 25, 2011 by DawnM

[Rhonda in TX]

Yep. I know how it goes. DS was pretty good at my family's Christmas yesterday, but was being a little turkey at DH's parents' house today. Sigh...

[Robin M]

:grouphug: We don't spend Christmas with hubby's family anymore or any holiday for that matter. They just don't understand my kiddo and I got tired of the non acceptance factor. Now we have a cozy, quiet, lovely christmas at home. @Dawn Sorry to hear he wasn't happy with his gift. Aspie kids lead to many teachable moments.

Edited December 26, 2011 by Mytwoblessings

[sewingmama]

:grouphug:

We don't spend it with relatives. But the gift he opened on Christmas Eve he threw back at me (not to hit me) and said "This was very poorly rated on Amazon and it looks really boring. I don't want it."

 

Oh man I'm so sorry I know you felt bad but I couldn't help but laugh at his comment :lol:

 

My DD is not an Aspie but her behavioural issues totally ruined our Christmas Eve activites and yes she threw her Christmas Eve gift back at me because it was "boring" :glare:

 

Lucky for me I have 2 other kids who are more appreciative :)

[Harriet Vane]

:grouphug:

[Sahamamama]

After reading some of these posts, I'd like to make a sincere request ---

 

We have several relatives and friends whose children are Aspies: my first cousin's son, a friend's son, another friend's son, the list goes on. I've always considered myself loving and accepting of people with special needs, but I admit, I don't really understand the needs of children with Aspergers (or their parents/families).

 

So, for the uninitiated, what advice would you give us, to help us be (even more) understanding and supportive? :bigear: I sincerely want to know, especially because I know my cousin and his wife struggle mightily with their son, now that he's in his teens. They always come when we invite them to family functions, but one parent disappears into a side room with D___, and they take turns spending the hours with him there.

 

Talk to me, please.

[ktgrok]

:grouphug:

We don't spend it with relatives. But the gift he opened on Christmas Eve he threw back at me (not to hit me) and said "This was very poorly rated on Amazon and it looks really boring. I don't want it."

 

too funny. (only because it is you and not me, lol.) What he said, when opening the parts to a brand new top of the line skateboard, was, "What did I tell you!!!" in an irate voice, because the trucks were not the kind he told us he liked last week. They were the kind he liked for the past two years. And they were already bought when he changed his mind. We didn't get a chance to exchange them, and had planned on taking him to exchange them after christmas if he still wanted the other ones. But we didn't get a chance to even say that. Totally rude, and honestly, mean.

 

After a stern talking to, in the other room, and a quick rehash of EXACTLY what to say when opening a gift - thank you, a comment about something good about the gift, and that is it, he went out and opened the next one silently, slipping it out of the box and behind him with a bored, sullen face. He went right back in the other room, for longer this time, and was informed that if he didn't act happy I would give the gifts to other kids that would. I even made him practice looking happy in the mirror!

[ktgrok]

After reading some of these posts, I'd like to make a sincere request ---

 

We have several relatives and friends whose children are Aspies: my first cousin's son, a friend's son, another friend's son, the list goes on. I've always considered myself loving and accepting of people with special needs, but I admit, I don't really understand the needs of children with Aspergers (or their parents/families).

 

So, for the uninitiated, what advice would you give us, to help us be (even more) understanding and supportive? :bigear: I sincerely want to know, especially because I know my cousin and his wife struggle mightily with their son, now that he's in his teens. They always come when we invite them to family functions, but one parent disappears into a side room with D___, and they take turns spending the hours with him there.

 

Talk to me, please.

 

first, THANK YOU for asking!!! Providing a quiter area would help. My parents would turn on music, then everyone would talk louder to be heard over the music, so she would turn the music up, so they would talk louder, so she would turn it up....you get the idea. Too many people talking, to much commotion, too many requests all at once are a disaster. Don't expect eye contact..they are not being rude, it is just hard for them. Don't expect replies...maybe just ask yes or no questions instead of open ended ones that put pressure on them to respond. Explain EXACTLY what you want if you make a request. Don't ever assume they know what you mean. They probably don't. Again, some quiet time is a must. My son didn't get enough this time, and I know that was part of it. Also, looking back, I was constantly asking him to do little favors, and so was my mom, and I think we sometimes were sending him in two directions at once. He was willing to do these things, but looking back that was a lot of stress to try to please multiple people at once, so often.

 

Oh, and provide transitions and predictability. When they arrive let them know the schedule for the evening, and then stick to it. Knowing what will happen when is very very very helpful and relieves anxiety for them.

[Paz]

Here is how it played out at our house with 19 yo dd. She has not been officially diagnosed but had definite Aspie tendencies. She picked out all her gifts ahead with our blessing and wrapped them and put them under the tree. She even picked out her gift from her 22 yo brother and wrapped that. She made a list of acceptable gifts that my parents and brother should get her and I helped oversee it. (Suprises are really stressful for her.) The only present she disliked was a small coach purse from my mom because it was unexpected and she said to my mom that she was taking it back to the store and getting money for it. My mom handled that really well. We went to Christmas eve service where she wore earplugs and worried if she would make it through the service due to the loud singing and organ playing. We had guests at my parents' house today and she arrived a little late, ate and visited, then left and came back with her dog so she would feel more comfortable relaxing and socializing. The good news is that she is making progress and has some coping mechanism in place and that everyone in our friend and family circle is very accepting, so it was all good.

[Tap]

Our family is pretty forgiving with dd5s issues. We have a few older teens in our family with more 'interesting issues' lol. Recent felony convictions, conduct disorder and transgender teens make dd5s issues look pretty small.

 

 

(BTW we love our teenage nieces very much and we were very happy to have them with us. They poke fun at themselves and their own issues. We adults work hard to embrace and love them as they find their paths in life.)

[MrsMommy]

As a mom of a son with autism, I found this poem I discovered online a few years ago to be inspirational, if only because it reminded me that I'm not the only who sometimes struggles at Christmastime. I hope it helps some of you as well!

 

Autism Night Before Christmas

[MamaSheep]

Those who have kids with Aspergers know what I mean.

 

I swear I'm ready to give up on the entire holiday. Or at least not spend it with relatives, so I'm not embarrassed in front of them.

 

:grouphug: When ds was about three we told all the relatives on both sides of the family that we felt it was important for our family to celebrate Christmas at home. Ds wasn't diagnosed yet, and we used "excuses" like that it's hard to keep presents secret while travelling, and we wanted to preserve the "magic" of coming downstairs in your own home and discovering that there are presents that weren't there the night before. But really it was because we wanted some sanity for ONE holiday and we picked Christmas, goshdarnit. We told them they were welcome to come visit us for Christmas if they liked, but we were staying home. (It was a pretty safe invite because the families are so scattered and distant that we never get more than one family visiting at a time, which is manageable for ds.)

 

I don't mind schlepping all over the country with a spare cornish game hen and some cheese and ingredients for a bannana cream pie for Thanksgiving (because ds has some kind of moral objection to eating turkey and he likes cheese and banana cream pie but won't eat most traditional TG food...lol). But Christmas is MINE. And we're gonna ENJOY IT. And mostly we do. It's a pretty relaxed affair, but everyone has a good time and we all stay friends, and that's what matters.

 

I vote ditch the relatives (nicely, of course) and have a happier holiday next year (Because I'm sure MY vote counts for anything...lol.)

[MamaSheep]

After reading some of these posts, I'd like to make a sincere request ---

 

We have several relatives and friends whose children are Aspies: my first cousin's son, a friend's son, another friend's son, the list goes on. I've always considered myself loving and accepting of people with special needs, but I admit, I don't really understand the needs of children with Aspergers (or their parents/families).

 

So, for the uninitiated, what advice would you give us, to help us be (even more) understanding and supportive? :bigear: I sincerely want to know, especially because I know my cousin and his wife struggle mightily with their son, now that he's in his teens. They always come when we invite them to family functions, but one parent disappears into a side room with D___, and they take turns spending the hours with him there.

 

Talk to me, please.

 

BLESS YOU!!! We love families who care. I don't have gobs of time just now (I'm sneaking in here when I'm supposed to be glazing a ham) but here's a recent blog post I wrote up about surviving Christmas with ASD kids. It's intended for parents but might give you some ideas. Also, I heard a really touching story recently. A mom of an autistic child called to tell her brother they wouldn't be attending the family holiday party because she was afraid her son would have a meltdown and put his head through the drywall. The brother asked, "Well, what would you do if he put his head through the drywall at home?" She said, "We'd fix the drywall." And he said, "Well, then that's what we'll do if he puts his head through the drywall at our house." I think sometimes the nicest thing is when extended family can be willing to absorb the unexpected and often the outrageous with grace and dignity and compassion, withhold judgment, and operate on the assumption that the parents are doing the best they can and succeeding despite all the odds, no matter what it "looks like" in the heat of the moment. And just roll with the punches. But that link will give more specific ideas. Thank you so much for taking an interest. :)

[Wendi]

After reading some of these posts, I'd like to make a sincere request ---

 

We have several relatives and friends whose children are Aspies: my first cousin's son, a friend's son, another friend's son, the list goes on. I've always considered myself loving and accepting of people with special needs, but I admit, I don't really understand the needs of children with Aspergers (or their parents/families).

 

So, for the uninitiated, what advice would you give us, to help us be (even more) understanding and supportive? :bigear: I sincerely want to know, especially because I know my cousin and his wife struggle mightily with their son, now that he's in his teens. They always come when we invite them to family functions, but one parent disappears into a side room with D___, and they take turns spending the hours with him there.

 

Talk to me, please.

 

Aspies tend to experience a lot of stress and anxiety related to things that would never seem stressful or anxiety-ridden to us. New places, different food, interacting with a lot of people they don't see frequently, smells or sounds . . . So all the stress can build up (a lot of times they don't show it) until BAM! Blowup! This can be a meltdown, or just digging their heels in over some (seemingly, to us) minor issue. Now, to anyone watching who doesn't understand the kid, it looks like simply a tantrum or defiance.

 

One thing that makes things go downhill fast with my son is when others try to intervene or make comments (or even look at him) when he's approaching or in a meltdown. He just can't handle it. If I can get him somewhere alone, that helps. But a lot of times that's difficult. Many times the Aspie's parents may seem to be giving in or "rewarding bad behavior", when they are trying to provide a little break when they realize their kid is stressed and doing their best to handle it. With a really difficult kid, a lot of times parents pick their battles. If I know being at a certain event is stressful for my kid, I might not be picky about what he decides to wear.

 

Does that help?

 

Wendi

[ktgrok]

:grouphug: When ds was about three we told all the relatives on both sides of the family that we felt it was important for our family to celebrate Christmas at home. Ds wasn't diagnosed yet, and we used "excuses" like that it's hard to keep presents secret while travelling, and we wanted to preserve the "magic" of coming downstairs in your own home and discovering that there are presents that weren't there the night before. But really it was because we wanted some sanity for ONE holiday and we picked Christmas, goshdarnit. We told them they were welcome to come visit us for Christmas if they liked, but we were staying home. (It was a pretty safe invite because the families are so scattered and distant that we never get more than one family visiting at a time, which is manageable for ds.)

 

I don't mind schlepping all over the country with a spare cornish game hen and some cheese and ingredients for a bannana cream pie for Thanksgiving (because ds has some kind of moral objection to eating turkey and he likes cheese and banana cream pie but won't eat most traditional TG food...lol). But Christmas is MINE. And we're gonna ENJOY IT. And mostly we do. It's a pretty relaxed affair, but everyone has a good time and we all stay friends, and that's what matters.

 

I vote ditch the relatives (nicely, of course) and have a happier holiday next year (Because I'm sure MY vote counts for anything...lol.)

 

 

You are really right. I feel SO GUILTY about not being with the grandparents for Christmas, as my mom LOVES Christmas and would be heartbroken, but I also know that she would understand, as they kept Christmas just the immediate family when I was growing up. The did it for a lot of the reasons you are listing. Maybe we can open presents in the morning just us, then get together for dinner later or something...but then again, he goes to his Dad's for christmas afternoon, so that wouldn't work. I don't know.

[gardenmom5]

:grouphug: I have a 6yo aspie, and young adult sons with aspie traits.

[2cents]

Those who have kids with Aspergers know what I mean.

 

I swear I'm ready to give up on the entire holiday. Or at least not spend it with relatives, so I'm not embarrassed in front of them.

 

:grouphug::grouphug:

I don't have an Aspie child but my brother is one so I have a lifetime of experience. We found that quiet holidays with as little disruption as possible worked best for us. No matter how much you tell/educate the relatives, they never seemed to 'get it' and we ended up feeling like we were being judged by their expectations of behavior.

 

Do what works for your family and don't feel pressured to put yourself and your family in situations that you know will make your life miserable. Put yourself and family first. :grouphug:

[gardenmom5]

Oh man I'm so sorry I know you felt bad but I couldn't help but laugh at his comment :lol:

 

My DD is not an Aspie but her behavioural issues totally ruined our Christmas Eve activites and yes she threw her Christmas Eve gift back at me because it was "boring" :glare:

 

Lucky for me I have 2 other kids who are more appreciative :)

 

oh, you. You're just like my dev OD. ;) she *knows* she shouldn't laugh at what the little kids do, but can't help herself. but then, she just plays with them, and then gives them back. hmm, like a good grandmother is supposed to do. (at least my mom accepted 3ds just like he is. she died before he was diagnosed with anything.)

[ktgrok]

Aspies tend to experience a lot of stress and anxiety related to things that would never seem stressful or anxiety-ridden to us. New places, different food, interacting with a lot of people they don't see frequently, smells or sounds . . . So all the stress can build up (a lot of times they don't show it) until BAM! Blowup! This can be a meltdown, or just digging their heels in over some (seemingly, to us) minor issue. Now, to anyone watching who doesn't understand the kid, it looks like simply a tantrum or defiance.

 

One thing that makes things go downhill fast with my son is when others try to intervene or make comments (or even look at him) when he's approaching or in a meltdown. He just can't handle it. If I can get him somewhere alone, that helps. But a lot of times that's difficult. Many times the Aspie's parents may seem to be giving in or "rewarding bad behavior", when they are trying to provide a little break when they realize their kid is stressed and doing their best to handle it. With a really difficult kid, a lot of times parents pick their battles. If I know being at a certain event is stressful for my kid, I might not be picky about what he decides to wear.

 

Does that help?

 

Wendi

I agree with ALL of the above.

[AngieW in Texas]

Their honesty can be pretty brutal.

[gardenmom5]

ah, christmas with our aspie -

 

he's been melting down for days because 1ds wouldn't tell him what he was getting for christmas.

he didn't want to open pajamas on christmas eve (1dd's idea), only 1ds's present. to make matters worse, they were TOY STORY pajamas. (oh, the horror).

this morning, he started opening a dvd wrapping, and saw it was toy story on blu-ray, and gave it to me stating he didn't want it. when he got another dvd, he gave it to me still wrapped, stating he didn't want it. of course, all the big kids are like "We want it!".

 

last night, I gave him his supplements, including his melatonin and dipenhydramine, and we went and looked at christmas lights. knocked him right out. contented sigh.

 

Just think of the stories in years to come . . . .;)

[ErinE]

I meant to send you hugs.

[Dandelion]

Thanks for this thread!!

 

I haven't been on the WTM boards for awhile, but came here this evening for a break after a really tough day with DS8 (also an Aspie). He's made so much progress over the years, but he just doesn't do holidays well (or any "special occasion" for that matter). It started off with the Christmas gift he was most looking forward to not doing what he wanted/expected it to do - and it just went rapidly downhill from there.

 

Each year, I make some mental notes about what to do differently next year to make things more enjoyable for everyone. My biggest insight this year was to significantly adjust my expectations for what Christmas "should be like". I thought I had already done that, but it's clear to me that I haven't adjusted my expectations enough (growing up, my grandma always made Christmas magical - and I guess I've been subconsciously holding on to that ideal, making my disappointment each year that much greater when reality isn't even close to matching up).

 

There's always next year. :grouphug:

[pdalley]

:grouphug: to all....

 

This Christmas has been the worst yet. I think the middle son has tic - he keeps repeating the same things over and over again like a stuck record. The youngest will not stop aggravating the older two. The older one is hyper emotional. We just finished a bout of strep, my Mom passed last week... I've been in that sleep where your body sleeps but you wake up exhausted anyway and I'm being extra careful not to over react or ramp them up.

 

And no therapy for anyone next week.

 

I need a drink. Or two. And a picture of a hot guy in a kilt. :tongue_smilie:

[MamaSheep]

:grouphug: to all....

 

This Christmas has been the worst yet. I think the middle son has tic - he keeps repeating the same things over and over again like a stuck record. The youngest will not stop aggravating the older two. The older one is hyper emotional. We just finished a bout of strep, my Mom passed last week... I've been in that sleep where your body sleeps but you wake up exhausted anyway and I'm being extra careful not to over react or ramp them up.

 

And no therapy for anyone next week.

 

I need a drink. Or two. And a picture of a hot guy in a kilt. :tongue_smilie:

http://www.scottishcentral.com/shop/images/g21a.jpg

[2cents]

http://www.scottishcentral.com/shop/images/g21a.jpg

 

:lol::lol::lol:

Not what I was expecting. Made me giggle!

[pdalley]

http://www.scottishcentral.com/shop/images/g21a.jpg

 

 

:lol: I soooo need this!

[TheTwinsMom1]

We have autism here also. We learned to just stay home for the holidays, makes everything easier. My daughter told us what she was sure was in each box before we unwrapped them and she was mostly right, but at least she loved all her stuff. My son only wanted a train set and has been using it and telling us all about it all.....day......long...... I am tired of trains. LOL

[bettyandbob]

For many years we've evaluated doing things (vacation trips, trips to relatives, parties, holiday events), by how ds would respond. It's disappointing to me that we have not been able to do things that it appears "most families" can. We did try, but it's just easier on our sanity not put our family in a position to respond to ds's negative behavior when other people who are probably appalled and maybe judgemental are present.

 

We keep holiday visits short --2-3 hours tops. Better to leave when everyone still appears happy or is at least feigning remote happiness.

 

I coached ds for years on what to say in various situations. We practiced before holidays every single present gets a thank you. I'm sure you practice this stuff too.

[Wendi]

ah, christmas with our aspie -

 

he's been melting down for days because 1ds wouldn't tell him what he was getting for christmas.

 

 

Oh, boy, does my son HATE surprises. He's doing much better with it now (he's 15). We do let him open a gift from relatives sometime during the few days right before Christmas. (We live out of town, and all the gifts arriving by mail are so TEMPTING!)

 

DS gives me a very specific list of things he wants for Christmas. He knows he will always get several of them, along with something he hasn't asked for but we think he'll like. (I must say, I'm pretty good at figuring out what he'll like.) I think now that he knows he will get at least some of the things on his list, that helps. And now he knows what kind of gifts to expect from his grandmothers and aunts/uncles.

 

Wendi

[MamaSheep]

:lol::lol::lol:

Not what I was expecting. Made me giggle!

 

:lol: I soooo need this!

 

:D

 

We have autism here also. We learned to just stay home for the holidays, makes everything easier. My daughter told us what she was sure was in each box before we unwrapped them and she was mostly right, but at least she loved all her stuff. My son only wanted a train set and has been using it and telling us all about it all.....day......long...... I am tired of trains. LOL

 

I'm just glad Christmas FINALLY got here. The boy starts talking about how hard it is to wait about two days after Thanksgiving and doesn't stop until Christmas morning. And I'm sure you can appreciate that I don't mean a couple of times a week, or once a day, or even every hour on the hour. It's all day every day sun up to sun down. I tell you, it's worth the price of some new video games and some wrapping paper just to make it STOP.

[TheTwinsMom1]

:D

 

 

 

I'm just glad Christmas FINALLY got here. The boy starts talking about how hard it is to wait about two days after Thanksgiving and doesn't stop until Christmas morning. And I'm sure you can appreciate that I don't mean a couple of times a week, or once a day, or even every hour on the hour. It's all day every day sun up to sun down. I tell you, it's worth the price of some new video games and some wrapping paper just to make it STOP.

 

I know exactly how you feel. Mine gets stuck on a subject and it's all we hear about for weeks. Every hour on the hour, he googles it, he reads about it in a book, he colors pictures of it. We have been stuck on trains since about oh say 2 years old and he is now 10. He varies but always comes back to trains.

[Crimson Wife]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

Youngest DD, who was recently diagnosed with autism, got WAY overstimulated during the family present-opening. She had a meltdown, and needed to be put down for a nap at 10 A.M. (usually she naps around 2 P.M.) Fortunately it was just our immediate family here today.

[hsmom2011]

n/m

[MamaSheep]

I know exactly how you feel. Mine gets stuck on a subject and it's all we hear about for weeks. Every hour on the hour, he googles it, he reads about it in a book, he colors pictures of it. We have been stuck on trains since about oh say 2 years old and he is now 10. He varies but always comes back to trains.

 

Yes, these days it's mostly video games. The enemies on level such and such, the options available for roofing in Sims, how long it took him to defeat so and so the "boss", and how he did it, which piece of classical music plays on the eigth level of whatsits....and on and on...

 

He's also gone through lengthy obsessions with crickets and penguins and several minor obsessive interests as well. (My favorite bit with the penguins was the "Rookery Club", made up of his 20-some stuffed penguins and himself. He recently disbanded the Rookery Club because some of his other stuffed animals were feeling excluded. :lol:

 

But for some reason the "I can't wait until Christmas, how long is it until Christmas, this is the hardest time of year because I have to wait for Christmas, don't you know how hard it is to wait for Christmas, can't we have Christmas a few days early because it's so hard to wait..." bit really was starting to get on my nerves.

[Joyofsixreboot]

:grouphug: Mine was also unhappy and said " I should have been consulted.". Um, you were. We do let him avoid the whole, loud gathering thing now that he's 16. It helps.

[pdalley]

Yes, these days it's mostly video games. The enemies on level such and such, the options available for roofing in Sims, how long it took him to defeat so and so the "boss", and how he did it, which piece of classical music plays on the eigth level of whatsits....and on and on...

 

 

 

But for some reason the "I can't wait until Christmas, how long is it until Christmas, this is the hardest time of year because I have to wait for Christmas, don't you know how hard it is to wait for Christmas, can't we have Christmas a few days early because it's so hard to wait..." bit really was starting to get on my nerves.

 

 

:iagree:

 

My oldest is on a 'history of video game consoles' kick. I have begged him to record these and put them on his Youtube gaming channel. Not only have I heard the history of video games from him nine million times, I lived through it and heard about it repeatedly from my Aspie brother when he was growing up. Enough...

 

Youngest - every five minutes - 'Can I open one present?'

 

There is a reason they pretty much know what they are getting and I don't wrap until the last minute. My sanity. :tongue_smilie:

[MamaSheep]

:iagree:

 

My oldest is on a 'history of video game consoles' kick. I have begged him to record these and put them on his Youtube gaming channel. Not only have I heard the history of video games from him nine million times, I lived through it and heard about it repeatedly from my Aspie brother when he was growing up. Enough...

 

Youngest - every five minutes - 'Can I open one present?'

 

There is a reason they pretty much know what they are getting and I don't wrap until the last minute. My sanity. :tongue_smilie:

:lol: I hear your pain! What amazes me is that he can hear a song and tell me it was the song played on level 24 of Lemmings (or whatever) while you were trying to get the lemmings past a volcano that looked like thus and such--and he hasn't even played that game in YEARS; BUT he can't remember what the heck "osmosis" is when he JUST finished reading the dang paragraph out loud to me. Of course, while reading aloud he was probably reciting the names of the bosses on all the levels of some Zelda game instead of actually thinking about what was coming out of his mouth.

 

On bad days I tell myself things like, "At least he did eventually figure out what a toilet was for..."

[Wendi]

:iagree:

 

My oldest is on a 'history of video game consoles' kick. I have begged him to record these and put them on his Youtube gaming channel. Not only have I heard the history of video games from him nine million times, I lived through it and heard about it repeatedly from my Aspie brother when he was growing up. Enough...

 

 

We should get our 15-year-olds together. Mine's really into retro games now. He owns an N64 and we just got him an SNES and games for Christmas. (Thankfully, we have some great used book/music/game places in our city.) He's reading a big thick "history of video games" book from the library.

 

Wendi

[pdalley]

We should get our 15-year-olds together. Mine's really into retro games now. He owns an N64 and we just got him an SNES and games for Christmas. (Thankfully, we have some great used book/music/game places in our city.) He's reading a big thick "history of video games" book from the library.

 

Wendi

 

 

We really should! My brother has a closet full of old systems himself. My 15 yr old thinks he has the coolest uncle in history. LOL He'd love someone else to talk about his passion with.

 

We have an old NES and he modified an old NES top loader himself. We have had a Wii for some time and his uncle got the boys a PS3 for Christmas. He's very into Sonic and if I never seen that blue hedgehog again it will be too soon. ;)

[pdalley]

:lol: I hear your pain! What amazes me is that he can hear a song and tell me it was the song played on level 24 of Lemmings (or whatever) while you were trying to get the lemmings past a volcano that looked like thus and such--and he hasn't even played that game in YEARS; BUT he can't remember what the heck "osmosis" is when he JUST finished reading the dang paragraph out loud to me. Of course, while reading aloud he was probably reciting the names of the bosses on all the levels of some Zelda game instead of actually thinking about what was coming out of his mouth.

 

On bad days I tell myself things like, "At least he did eventually figure out what a toilet was for..."

 

:iagree:

 

I have this quirk that I can hear two notes of a song on the radio and tell you who recorded it, the year and if it was a remake or not. Drives my DH nuts. So I try to cut him some slack but most days I find myself longing for the day someone figures out how to incorporate video games into homeschool curriculum so he can remember his school work as well as his video game stuff.

 

Happily the youngest is on a geography kick now and and knows were every country in the world is. He's even made his own country - complete with crest and motto and flag - then his own continent and now his own world.

[A.J. at J.A.]

I heard a really touching story recently. A mom of an autistic child called to tell her brother they wouldn't be attending the family holiday party because she was afraid her son would have a meltdown and put his head through the drywall. The brother asked, "Well, what would you do if he put his head through the drywall at home?" She said, "We'd fix the drywall." And he said, "Well, then that's what we'll do if he puts his head through the drywall at our house."

 

Super Sweet!!

:thumbup:

[Robin M]

Speaking of video games and christmas holidays, forgive me for hijacking the thread but does anybody notice their aspies becoming more unfocused and having more outbursts from having too much game time? Unfortunately he just got a bunch of cool games and I'm ready for a technology free week.

[prairiewindmomma]

-

Edited November 10, 2021 by prairiewindmomma

[pdalley]

Speaking of video games and christmas holidays, forgive me for hijacking the thread but does anybody notice their aspies becoming more unfocused and having more outbursts from having too much game time? Unfortunately he just got a bunch of cool games and I'm ready for a technology free week.

 

 

Only if mine gets stuck on a game and can't progress.

 

They don't understand when DH and I tell them about being like a 'broken record'. I inherited my Dad's turntable and we found a broken record and showed them how the needle got stuck and explained how that could happen in a person's head. It seemed to help at the time but we've had to demonstrate again on occasion. And yes, limits are needed around here - sometimes more than others.

[Holly IN]

Sorry. Been there done that. I actually would have laughed at that comment (talking about the comment of the OP's son on first page). We laugh at our daughter when she does stuff like that. Of course that even makes her madder. sigh!! Sorry things didn't go well for you. My daughter is old enough now that we do not have those problems however they do crop up every now and then. We do a lot of social stories with her about hurting other people's feelings and so on.

 

:grouphug::grouphug: Keep persisting but do understand why you want to give up. I would too!!

 

Holly

Edited December 26, 2011 by Holly IN

[ChiMomNP]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

This was an entirely uneventful Christmas with our Aspie. I think maturity is helping. He didn't throw one gift or even make one snide comment about any of them. That is a Christmas miracle in and of itself. We spent yesterday at my H's relatives here in AZ which he had never met. He did really well. They are all older, no little kids running around making my son crazy. Just a bunch of older, quiet adults which made the whole day so much easier. He played horseshoes and Bocce ball with no meltdowns. We are so proud of him. He has come a long way from the child who was throwing desks and having violent meltdowns everyday when he was diagnosed 6 years ago. We take our victories where we can get them and try to build on even the smallest achievement in his "social growth". Keeping things low key has made the most difference for him.

[QuirkyKapers]

:grouphug::grouphug: