Talking to strangers.

[Remudamom]

Do you talk to strangers? In line at the grocery store, at Walmart, wherever?

 

My dh says I can talk to anybody. I tell young moms that their babies are beautiful, or a lady that I like her hair or whatever. I usually just speak to women, but once in the grocery store I saw a very old man and said "Well hello, how are you doing?" He said fine, or something, and when we moved on my dh said "Who was that?" and I had to reply "I have no idea. Right after I greeted him I realized it wasn't who I thought it was."

Dh cracked up thinking about that old fella wondering "Who in the world was that?"

 

I'm probably setting a bad example for the kids (don't talk to strangers) or irritating people.

[Snickerdoodle]

You described me to a "T".

[unsinkable]

I talk to strangers. I can tell right away by the reaction if the stranger thinks I'm a kook or if s/he wants to keep talking.

 

If I see someone in a veteran hat, I thank them for serving.

[Amy loves Bud]

I love to talk to older people when I'm out. I also love to force my children to talk to them. :D I miss my mom and dad so much, and they would be 90 and 85 now, so maybe that's why.

 

I love it when they ooh and ahh over the baby or ask the kids about school or whatever.

 

I talk to other people, too. But especially older folks. :001_smile:

[elegantlion]

I don't, but my mom does. She used to embarass me as a child and will talk to anyone, anywhere. She went to work at K-mart when I was in high school. I swear it was just so she could get her "words" in for the day. She still does this, but it doesn't embarass me anymore. :001_smile:

 

I tend to be more introverted anyway. I will converse with someone in line, but I'm rarely the one to start the conversation.

[Quiver0f10]

I have found that in the south people talk to anyone and everyone :D. No matter where I go someone stops and starts chatting. If I have an appoitment I plan extra just for chat time. I don't remember people being this chatty in NH and Maine :)

[jail warden]

I do somewhat, but just small talk and it depends on whether they're open to it or not.

 

But KIN, she is HILARIOUS to shop with. She talks with EVERYONE!!! I bust up laughing so many times when we're out because of how hilarious her comments can be!

[beansprouts]

It depends how busy or task oriented I am at the time.

 

I do enjoy people, and I often smile, talk and make encouraging comments to them while out.

 

I actually think it is a very good example for our children. I want my kids to be friendly and learn to talk to people. They will learn about people and how they behave and respond and develop better instincts as a result. It is the fearful child, not the confident one who is most often a target.

 

I remember a few years ago I was at a fair with my daughter and she asked for the bathroom. I didn't know where it was and encouraged her to ask somebody. Then I stood back and watched who she would choose. She walked right past a group of men who were talking among themselves, and approached an older lady with a kind face standing behind a counter. The lady looked to me, and I nodded and she told my daughter where to find the bathroom.

 

I try to provide my children with these kinds of experiences, because they won't always have me to watch over them. They need to learn for themselves who is safe, and whom they should avoid (and unfortunately, when to run). For more on this philosophy you could check out Gavin DeBecker's Protecting the Gift.

 

...and besides all that it's just good for SOCIALIZATION :D We homeschooled Mamas rarely get out of the house you know

[RoughCollie]

Up here in Mass, practically no one talks to strangers, in the grocery line or anywhere else. When we first moved here, DH was at the grocery in the dairy section and couldn't find the butter. A nicely dressed lady was also perusing that section, so he asked her if she knew where the butter was. She snapped at him, "How dare you speak to me! I don't know you."

 

The rule is not to look at other people when you are walking down the street. I didn't know that rule and because of my smiling at people and saying "hi", homeless people started following me back to my office after lunch, and hanging around. The owner of the company finally told me what that was all about. I also had to stop buying sandwiches or a cup of coffee for one particularly needy-looking lady.

 

So I take the kids to Louisville to visit my family. We went to Six Flags. While the kids were on the rides, I sat myself down on a bench and had a grand time talking to people.

 

After a few days, the kids quit asking me how it happened that I knew so many people in Louisville! They were shocked when I told them I'd never seen those folks before in my life.

 

To be fair, though, we go to western Mass several times a year, and the people there are definitely friendlier.

[Elisabeth in IL]

I do. I mostly smile and ask about children. I think it all started when I worked at a grocery store in high school. We were told to smile and be friendly.

[RoughCollie]

When I lived in the South, it was rude to just say "good-bye" and get off the phone or leave someone's house. There was always a lot more chatting before the good-bye was for real. Up here, it's for real the first time. When I moved here, I used to feel like people were hanging up on me, they said good-bye so fast.

 

I have found that in the south people talk to anyone and everyone :D. No matter where I go someone stops and starts chatting. If I have an appoitment I plan extra just for chat time. I don't remember people being this chatty in NH and Maine :)

[PiCO]

I'm probably setting a bad example for the kids (don't talk to strangers) or irritating people.

 

I encourage my children to talk to strangers. How can they practice figuring out who's a good helpful person and who gives them the heebee-geebees if they never talk to anyone?

[hisleading]

Inever really thought about it before. Bt my oldest dd has VERY VERY curly blonde hair and everyone stops to comment on it and TOUCH it.

 

People make a BIG deal over the oldest and never even look at the youngest. It hurts...both of them and me. No one means any harm though.

For this reason, I am alot more aware of talking to strangers and responding to strangers.

 

My oldest wil jsut start taling to EVERYONE and it usually goes like this,

"Hi, my name is C---. I am 4. We live in S----. My daddy works at -----. My grandma jsut got a new car. She has been sick. My little sister is 2. She is mean to me sometimes.......etc."

And it keeps GOING AND GOING AND GOING!!!!

 

I am glad she is friendly but we jsut don't blab everything the everyone!

Of course, dd says "WHY NO"?

 

ummmm......just becasue????

[Doran]

In the grocery store yesterday? Were you the one who complimented my hair?? :lol: And, I told you how much I loved your shirt?

 

 

Surely it will come as no surprise that I talk to strangers. I do it so abundantly here. I actually quite enjoy making happy remarks to people, complimenting the day, their clothes, their child(ren), the fact that the orange juice in their cart reminded me that I forgot to buy orange juice and would you please hold my place here in line for a sec' while I run get some. Plenty of people look at me as if I have four heads. But, then there're the ones who "get me" and respond with a smile or a comment. My girls and I joke about it. I'm never snarly (okay, almost never). Just chatty. It actually tickles me to watch cashiers squirm, not having a clue how to manage me. One day recently, at the grocery store, I ended up with two young women - one a cashier, the other a bagger - who were having the best time (while still doing a good job, I might add), singing "Sponge Bob Square Pants" and smiling all the while. I told them how much I enjoyed being witness to two people who were finding such joy in the simplest thing. That's where I'm usually coming from when I'm making remarks to strangers. A place of joy.

 

 

ETA: I also grew up in the south! **grin**

[~Tara~]

They ARE talkative in the south aren't they? hehe

 

I don't know HOW many times I have been stopped in the store..someone commenting on my slew of children or what have ya..but it's rarely just a quick comment. We end up in an all out conversation.

 

I'm not one to initiate such..but I don't mind the conversations someone else starts. I've met a couple other home schoolers this way hehe

And found many 'families of many'

I just can't break out of my shell enough to take the first step. Maybe being in the south will get me there :D

[PiCO]

... my oldest dd has VERY VERY curly blonde hair and everyone stops to comment on it and TOUCH it.

 

 

My youngest dd had this problem. I felt like patting them on the head right back. Really, people- a little personal space. I think more people ask to pet someone's dog than a child.

 

But then some people think it's OK to touch a pregnant woman's belly also.

[Tammy]

I don't care who they are.....I will talk to them :)

 

Tammy

[Mom2legomaniacs]

Yes I do. One way I look at it is that you never really know what is going on with other people. A simple smile and a kind word could affect that person in ways you will never know. And there is a difference between making small talk with someone in the market and deliberately seeking people out in odd places to converse with. Yep, I talk to most people around.

[OnTheBrink]

When I lived in the South, it was rude to just say "good-bye" and get off the phone or leave someone's house. There was always a lot more chatting before the good-bye was for real. Up here, it's for real the first time. When I moved here, I used to feel like people were hanging up on me, they said good-bye so fast.

 

Is WV considered south? Because I swear, we could NOT leave EX's grandparents without EX hanging out the window, honking the horn and yelling, "BYE! BYE! SEE YOU SOON! BYE! WE'LL CALL WHEN WE GET HOME! BYE!" It was really embarrassing to have a grown man act like that! I lived in Texas from the time I was a 7 until 11 and I don't recall people doing such things. When I lived in CA, it was just a good-bye and we left. No drama, no lingering chat, just plain old, "good-bye!" and that was it!

[Mom2legomaniacs]

When I lived in the South, it was rude to just say "good-bye" and get off the phone or leave someone's house. There was always a lot more chatting before the good-bye was for real. Up here, it's for real the first time. When I moved here, I used to feel like people were hanging up on me, they said good-bye so fast.

 

:lol: My dh cracks up at me trying to leave some place! I am a KY girl by birth and grew up that way. He teases me to no end about the leaving for real or just the gearing up to leave.

[RoughCollie]

I've only met 2 people from WV, and they acted perfectly normal to me, no different from Southerners, so I'd say yes.

 

Is WV considered south?

[RoughCollie]

DH never gets up to go when it's time because he says it takes me an hour to say good-bye. I try real hard not to do that up here because the culture is definitely different and it won't be appreciated.

 

:lol: My dh cracks up at me trying to leave some place! I am a KY girl by birth and grew up that way. He teases me to no end about the leaving for real or just the gearing up to leave.

[LizzyBee]

Is WV considered south? Because I swear, we could NOT leave EX's grandparents without EX hanging out the window, honking the horn and yelling, "BYE! BYE! SEE YOU SOON! BYE! WE'LL CALL WHEN WE GET HOME! BYE!" It was really embarrassing to have a grown man act like that! I lived in Texas from the time I was a 7 until 11 and I don't recall people doing such things. When I lived in CA, it was just a good-bye and we left. No drama, no lingering chat, just plain old, "good-bye!" and that was it!

 

Well, I grew up in western MD, the part of MD that borders WV. And when someone left our house, we would all line up and wave until they were out of sight. It cracks me up to think about it. I live in the south now, and I might walk out on the porch with someone who's leaving my house, but I don't stand out there and wave forever.

 

I will talk to strangers, but I can't say I do it as a matter of habit.

[beansprouts]

Surely it will come as no surprise that I talk to strangers. I do it so abundantly here. I actually quite enjoy making happy remarks to people, complimenting the day, their clothes, their child(ren), the fact that the orange juice in their cart reminded me that I forgot to buy orange juice and would you please hold my place here in line for a sec' while I run get some. Plenty of people look at me as if I have four heads. But, then there're the ones who "get me" and respond with a smile or a comment. My girls and I joke about it. I'm never snarly (okay, almost never). Just chatty. It actually tickles me to watch cashiers squirm, not having a clue how to manage me. One day recently, at the grocery store, I ended up with two young women - one a cashier, the other a bagger - who were having the best time (while still doing a good job, I might add), singing "Sponge Bob Square Pants" and smiling all the while. I told them how much I enjoyed being witness to two people who were finding such joy in the simplest thing. That's where I'm usually coming from when I'm making remarks to strangers. A place of joy.

 

Somehow I think if we ever met in a store, we wouldn't get a thing done :lol:

 

Something else I find fun is that cashier who is obviously grumpy and having a bad day. I consider it a worthy challenge to try to get a smile out of them. ;)

[beansprouts]

Yes I do. One way I look at it is that you never really know what is going on with other people. A simple smile and a kind word could affect that person in ways you will never know. And there is a difference between making small talk with someone in the market and deliberately seeking people out in odd places to converse with. Yep, I talk to most people around.

 

That is so true! I can't tell you how many times a simple smile or friendly comment from another person has changed my entire attitude.

[Kay in Cal]

Yep! Not as much as my dad does, but I frequently chat with those around me.

 

We had one of those lunches the other day when we were sitting at a table next to an elderly couple. We ended up talking through the whole meal... my dh is an introvert and NEVER does this, but the gentleman engaged dh on the one topic he'll talk about with a stranger--comic books! He started by asking dh about his Flash t-shirt.

 

My dad can talk to anyone, anywhere, and makes friends like crazy. He has more buddies than anyone I know. Every time we go to visit them in Florida, the house is full of new friends. I need to learn some of his tricks...

[Caroline]

I don't like to talk to strangers. A woman sat next to me at the pool the other day and just started rambling on to me. I really didn't enjoy it. It is not that I am not friendly. I am just a private person, and pretty much an introvert.

 

I don't mind a friendly hello, but I don't want an extended conversation.

[beansprouts]

You all are why I use my iPod at the grocery.

 

Thanks for the tip. I will be watching for you!! :Angel_anim::lol:

[sadiegirl]

I am from the south and I talk to people out in public as well. I guess I wish for the days of my parents and grandparents growing up when people spoke to one another more than on a cell phone or worse yet, look away or not speak at all. How strange it seems that with all the technology we have that connects us 24/7 to everyone--we are so disconnected and unable to even speak to people beside us in an elevator or doctor's office. I realize this is a bit of a gray subject to deal with for our kids...don't talk to strangers but yet be polite! Just use common sense, I think. I remember my mom telling me one time that my grandma used to like to go to the grocery store after my Papaw passed away because if not, she would be alone and not say a word all day. There are people in this world that need a smile and spoken word even if from a stranger.

A final story on this subject---we moved to a new city a few years ago and we stopped at a local grocery that night to pick up a few items. I got to talking with the clerk(a man) about the area and being new to the community and he commented on the good hospitals and medical community. He mentioned he was a nurse as well. My husband left the store with my kids and the groceries while I paid and when I got in the car, I mentioned that was a successful trip and he asked why and I showed him a list with the top pediatrician and OB/gyn in town. He says I am the only gal he has known that can go in for a gallon of milk and come out with info like that!!

[Krista in LA]

My parents both talk to strangers a lot. I was always embarrassed when they would start talking to someone, but as I have gotten older, I find myself sometimes talking to someone next to me in line.

 

My dad was at the Goodwill store the other day and started talking to some people. Apparently they were having a great conversation because they invited him to go for pizza with them when they were ready to leave the store. :lol:

[mcconnellboys]

I don't initiate conversations, but people come up to me all the time and ask me for help, LOL. I guess growing up in a retail business somehow puts a sign on your back that you know where everything is in every aisle of every store on earth. Sometimes, while I'm helping them find what they need, other people come up to me, too, and ask for something else, which can get to be a bit of a dilemma if I'm trying to get out of the store.....

[Riverfront Headmistress]

My Mom will talk to anyone, anywhere, anytime. The conversation topic is usually me, the kids, and my Navy-employed husband - she feels its her duty to educate strangers on how wonderful my family is and the value of home schooling. :auto:

[Guest Virginia Dawn]

I have found that in the south people talk to anyone and everyone :D. No matter where I go someone stops and starts chatting. If I have an appoitment I plan extra just for chat time. I don't remember people being this chatty in NH and Maine :)

 

 

Maybe this explains my discomfort. My parents are from NH and Maine. My mother is terrifically chatty and now lives in the south. She loves it.

 

My dad is a typical Mainiac, I tend to take after him. It took some time for me to learn not to back off from people who are less boundary oriented. I can even smile and make pleasant replies, but I breathe a sigh of relief when it's over.

[Soph the vet]

I really enjoy talking with people but I think I am just used to it being in a service oriented profession...I have never had an animal come in without a human attached to it!

I find that older people really enjoy conversing. It seems to me that younger people are more taken aback at my initiating a conversation while waiting in line or wherever.

[Colleen]

Do you talk to strangers?

 

Yep, all the time. I love talking to strangers. No long-term commitments.;)

 

I'm probably setting a bad example for the kids (don't talk to strangers) or irritating people.

 

It makes zero sense to me to tell a child not to talk to strangers, so in that respect, I don't see it as setting a bad example.:)

[Plucky]

Yes and people that talk to strangers love to talk to me. I had a 10 min. conversation about blood pressure at the bp machine the other day. LOL

[PrairieAir]

I generally like to talk to people, but they have to start the conversation. It's very rare for me to start a conversation with someone I know only slightly, let alone a perfect stranger. When I go to pick dd up from gym, I usually do not talk to the other parents there unless they speak to me first. It's not that I'm unfriendly, I'm just afraid other people wouldn't want to talk to me.

[unsinkable]

I don't like to talk to strangers. A woman sat next to me at the pool the other day and just started rambling on to me. I really didn't enjoy it. It is not that I am not friendly. I am just a private person, and pretty much an introvert.

 

I don't mind a friendly hello, but I don't want an extended conversation.

 

So, catching your eye and miming to you, "Pull out your earbubs so we can talk!" would make you uncomfortable? :001_smile:

[Caroline]

So, catching your eye and miming to you, "Pull out your earbubs so we can talk!" would make you uncomfortable? :001_smile:

 

You would never catch my eye! :D

 

I had a woman call me by name at the grocery store the other day. She said, "I have to run to my tennis match now. Maybe we can catch up later." I still have no idea who she was, and I didn't even have my earbuds in.

 

I actually admire those of you who can strike up a conversation with anyone. I just don't have that ability.

[TXMomof4]

My oldest wil jsut start taling to EVERYONE and it usually goes like this,

"Hi, my name is C---. I am 4. We live in S----. My daddy works at -----. My grandma jsut got a new car. She has been sick. My little sister is 2. She is mean to me sometimes.......etc."

And it keeps GOING AND GOING AND GOING!!!!

 

I am glad she is friendly but we jsut don't blab everything the everyone!

Of course, dd says "WHY NO"?

 

ummmm......just becasue????

 

This is so much like my youngest dd. We took her to Magic Time Machine for her birthday dinner. Our waiter was taking our drink orders and asked if we were celebrating a special occasion.

 

DD pipes up, "Hi, I'm Lucy, I"m 5 now. I'm a little 5, I used to be a big 4. My mommy has fake nails."

 

The waiter looks at me and as the blush is climbing up my face asks

"Is anything else on your mommy fake?"

 

I almost died. Of course, the girls wanted to know what he meant, so I explained, surely he meant fake eyelashes, or fake teeth, or something silly like that. :lol:

[Elaine]

When I lived in the South, it was rude to just say "good-bye" and get off the phone or leave someone's house. There was always a lot more chatting before the good-bye was for real. Up here, it's for real the first time. When I moved here, I used to feel like people were hanging up on me, they said good-bye so fast.

 

:lol: That is hilarious!! We are from NJ and we do this. My husband jokes that we have at least four rounds of good-byes!

[Elaine]

I do, all the time. I have to say, though, that even when we lived in NJ, I found the majority of people willing to talk.

 

When I hear people talking in the grocery store about a product, I will usually say, "Would you like an unsolicited opinion on XYZ?" I am usually met with an enthusiastic, "Yes!"

 

I think that at the core, most people want to be acknowledged. Someone said they thank service people, we always do that, too. Especially those old men who wear the hats with pins all over them. They light up when you talk to them or just simply say, "Thank-you." And I especially love when older folks compliment my children.

 

Todays Wal-Mart excursion aside;) I really do like interacting with strangers.

[beansprouts]

So, catching your eye and miming to you, "Pull out your earbubs so we can talk!" would make you uncomfortable? :001_smile:

 

You would never catch my eye! :D

 

 

 

I guess we'll have to resort to "accidentally" bumping her shopping cart with ours :lol:

[beansprouts]

DD pipes up, "Hi, I'm Lucy, I"m 5 now. I'm a little 5, I used to be a big 4. My mommy has fake nails."

 

The waiter looks at me and as the blush is climbing up my face asks

"Is anything else on your mommy fake?"

 

 

OMGoodness, you had me laughing when I read your dd's comment, but the waiter's response... :smilielol5::smilielol5::smilielol5::smilielol5:

[Elisabeth in IL]

OMGoodness, you had me laughing when I read your dd's comment, but the waiter's response... :smilielol5::smilielol5::smilielol5::smilielol5:

 

I whole heartedly agree!!! :smilielol5: :smilielol5: :smilielol5: :smilielol5:

[Stacia]

:lol: My dh cracks up at me trying to leave some place! I am a KY girl by birth and grew up that way. He teases me to no end about the leaving for real or just the gearing up to leave.

 

Yeah. I think my kids think that 5 minutes is actually an hour (or so). "Kids, get ready to say goodbye to your friends, we're leaving in 5 minutes." That repeats off & on for another hour before we actually leave. ROFL.

 

In spite of that, I'm rarely the one initiating conversation when out, though I (usually) don't mind when someone else does.

[Stacia]

:smilielol5:ROFL!!!

 

So... did the waiter get a big tip... or not??? ;)

[Kate CA]

Do you talk to strangers? In line at the grocery store, at Walmart, wherever?

 

My dh says I can talk to anybody. I tell young moms that their babies are beautiful, or a lady that I like her hair or whatever. I usually just speak to women, but once in the grocery store I saw a very old man and said "Well hello, how are you doing?" He said fine, or something, and when we moved on my dh said "Who was that?" and I had to reply "I have no idea. Right after I greeted him I realized it wasn't who I thought it was."

Dh cracked up thinking about that old fella wondering "Who in the world was that?"

 

I'm probably setting a bad example for the kids (don't talk to strangers) or irritating people.

 

Yes, I do this too! :) I love to compliment people or their babies or whatever. I mean it though. I don't say it if I don't mean it. :)

[Colleen]

I don't mind a friendly hello, but I don't want an extended conversation.

 

Oh, I imagine those of us who answered in the affirmative can judge whether someone is receptive to chatting ~ and for my part, it's not as if I'm engaging in "extended conversation" with strangers left and right. Anyhoo, if someone is listening to an iPod in public, well...I find it rather rude and off-putting, so I certainly wouldn't try to interact.:)

[MamaReese]

Yes Yes, I always talk to people. My kids are always asking, "Mom who was that?" They think I am crazy when I say, I don't know.:)