what do YOU think?

[momma aimee]

my Boys go to Awanas -- in the next town over.

 

tonight that school district is in the some big deal high school foot ball game, district? it is not state.

 

they cancelled Awanas -- that 130 kids go to each week -- for the game.

 

I told the director I felt this was the wrong choice to make -- church is no canceled on Super Bowl Sunday -- and God comes before football. I said even if my boys had an older sib at the game THEY would be at Awanas and if my older child had a youth group or other obligation he or she would simply have to miss the 'big deal' football game. I do place football in front of God. I also stated i feel it is a dangerous predident to set "oh well there is something else going on, so let's skip God Education and go to ______ (sporting event, concert, etc).

 

I just feel it wrong to place something else, especially just a sports game, above a commitment to meet God and leran about Him each week. Again church service is not called off on account of the Super Bowl.

 

I got a fairly PC and BS reply

 

Thanks Aimee for your comments. I appreciate you letting me know your thoughts.

 

I am in agreement with you that God does not take 2nd place to a football game. This decision did not come lightly.

 

I can't change it, but i have told my boys i am sorry they have to miss it -- they are both really really sad and upset -- and i told them that i do not think it got called off for a good reason. I told them our family doesn't put sports before God and that i feel the leaders made a silly decision but that there is nothing i can do about it and i am sorry they'll miss the fun they normally have.

 

both boys are sad and do not understand what a high school football game has to do with them and frankly DS1 said "so we get in trouble and loose something good because they have a game to play, the game is not at the school [where they meet] so why can't they play the game and us have Sparks?" Frankly all i can tell him is that 'some times adults make really silly and bad choices"

 

really fustrated and sad

[Annie G]

Seems silly to cancel Awana- even if they had a much lower turnout, think of how much could be accomplished during that evening! Perhaps there are some kids who need some special attention or maybe could feel extra special at gametime.

So sorry for your kids!

[momma aimee]

I'd be annoyed too. I don't like football though so it's unimportant to me. Maybe they predict/assume that too many people wouldn't show up.

 

I guess, but really as I told DH that is a choice each parent needs to make for themselves and answer to God about how they are teaching their kids to order their lives (sports before God) -- but for them to make that choice for us all...again no one closes the church doors on Super Bowl Sunday because less people are coming. ^^shrug^^ nothing i can do about it but i really feel it was the wrong choice

[tex-mex]

Used to be an AWANA leader and if this was a small town it would not surprise me if there was a scheduling conflict or attendence would be low due to the event. It happens.

[momma aimee]

and we are strong college football people and i assume if the boys choose to play in high school we'll be strong hs foot ball people -- but I'd still not put a game over a church event

[Margo out of lurking]

What do I think?

 

I don't equate AWANA with God. While I would choose AWANA, it would be because I don't care about the football game. There are other reasons that I might miss AWANA, but it wouldn't be because I place family visiting from out of town over God, or my sickness over God, etc.

 

I'd spend the evening doing something fun with my kids. I take any time I spend with my kids as a blessing. They know that, and besides, time spent with me can be at least as valuable as AWANA time. I looked at AWANA as a fun and social time for my kids, and any education was just the cherry on top.:001_smile:

[Mrs Mungo]

It might be that too many of their adult and teen volunteers are involved in the game. It might include all cheerleaders, football players, marching band members *and* their parents. If it involves too many of their normal volunteers, then they might not have enough volunteers to run the program that night.

 

Do you volunteer? I thought if you did, then you might be in a better position to know if they are concerned about having enough volunteers that night.

[itsheresomewhere]

I don't know your area but is it a possibility that they cancelled as there might be a possibility of violence/bad behavior.

[kitten18]

It might be that too many of their adult and teen volunteers are involved in the game. It might include all cheerleaders, football players, marching band members *and* their parents. If it involves too many of their normal volunteers, then they might not have enough volunteers to run the program that night.

 

Do you volunteer? I thought if you did, then you might be in a better position to know if they are concerned about having enough volunteers that night.

:iagree:

 

I also DO NOT see this as putting football before God.

[bettyandbob]

I don't go to Awanas, so you can ignore me if you like. However, I think your comparisons are off.

 

The Superbowl is in the evening while most people go to service in the morning. So, generally there is no conflict there. In fact some churches broadcast the Superbowl in their facility.

 

Awanas is somewhat extracurricular. It is not the actual church service. It is an activity that extends Christian education. It does not replace actual church attendance. People do make a commitment to go to Awanas, but it is still not the main church service. If they attended sporadically they would not get much out of it.

 

I think it's important to support my dc in all their activities and if I thought it was worthwhile to participate in football I would attend and encourage siblings to attend in support. If an important game came up I would let me dc miss Awanas to support a sibling. It would be a one time thing. We would not miss every week because a committment to attend Awanas was made. However, sometimes a choice needs to be made. I don't see the choice as football v. church. I see the choice as what might support family cohesiveness.

 

If I were a teacher at Awanas and I had an older child playing football, I would like a chance to go to a game.

 

Perhaps class this week was cancelled to give families affected by the conflict a chance to support another child. That is not putting football before God. That is in fact putting family first.

[dcjlkplus3]

It might be that too many of their adult and teen volunteers are involved in the game. It might include all cheerleaders, football players, marching band members *and* their parents. If it involves too many of their normal volunteers, then they might not have enough volunteers to run the program that night.

 

Do you volunteer? I thought if you did, then you might be in a better position to know if they are concerned about having enough volunteers that night.

 

This was my first thought. It is not something that can be run without volunteers and if too many volunteers had to miss for whatever reason, it would be canceled.

[mrs.m]

I wouldn't think anything of it. I would spend the evening reviewing the AWANA work with them and feel blessed by an evening at home. :)

[JudoMom]

What do I think?

 

I don't equate AWANA with God. While I would choose AWANA, it would be because I don't care about the football game. There are other reasons that I might miss AWANA, but it wouldn't be because I place family visiting from out of town over God, or my sickness over God, etc.

 

I'd spend the evening doing something fun with my kids. I take any time I spend with my kids as a blessing. They know that, and besides, time spent with me can be at least as valuable as AWANA time. I looked at AWANA as a fun and social time for my kids, and any education was just the cherry on top.:001_smile:

 

You said what I wanted to say but you said it much better :iagree:.

[momma aimee]

I don't know your area but is it a possibility that they cancelled as there might be a possibility of violence/bad behavior.

 

Nope, That i would understand, it is just they think / know a lot of people will choose the game over their conmitments to awans. Not that THAT says to much good about their staff :glare:

 

I just think it is pretty sad to cancel something effecting 130 little kids for a football game that doesn't actually effect kids under 8 (the age group in our building). Like I said my kids feel punished and don't understand why just because the "big kids have a foot ball game to play" why that means they have to suffer.

 

I know i have no effect on it, and i 'see' the reasons -- shallow though they are, and imo wrong -- i just think it stinks my kids feel punished and have been crying over this --

:001_huh:

I have had to say "I am sorry kids, but some adult just do not take their commitments as seriously as they should, i am sorry you are missing out something you love because of a foot ball game that doesn't actually have anything to do with you"

 

I know I can't change it -- it just really makes me mad

[BarbecueMom]

Does the church host a "5th Quarter" function after the game? The large church down the road from our high school always opened for food and a safe place to hang out after the game. If they need the space and volunteers for that, I can see why they'd cancel other activities.

[Mommy22alyns]

I'd be pretty darn annoyed. I agree that it sets a bad precedent and I don't get all the fuss over high school football anyway.

[Night Elf]

It might be that too many of their adult and teen volunteers are involved in the game. It might include all cheerleaders, football players, marching band members *and* their parents. If it involves too many of their normal volunteers, then they might not have enough volunteers to run the program that night.

 

This was my thought as well. Also, I don't recall many football happenings on Wednesday nights so I imagine that people who make a committment to Awanas aren't seeing any real conflict between the two activities.

 

And as a former Awana leader, I might gently add that I don't consider it a full "God" thing either. I spent more time trying to get the kids to behave than anything else. My dept. provided religious coloring pages and worksheets to keep the kids occupied while one adult took a child just outside the room to recite the verses and have their book signed. Please don't get me wrong. I loved it. I had a great time. But I cannot compare it to Sunday School where we gave actual instruction in the Bible, and I was a Sunday School teacher for kids as well as an Awana leader.

 

But I am sorry your boys will miss their fun. I can relate. I really looked foward to Wednesday nights because so many of the children were just so excited to be there.

[JudoMom]

Nope, That i would understand, it is just they think / know a lot of people will choose the game over their conmitments to awans. Not that THAT says to much good about their staff :glare:

 

I just think it is pretty sad to cancel something effecting 130 little kids for a football game that doesn't actually effect kids under 8 (the age group in our building). Like I said my kids feel punished and don't understand why just because the "big kids have a foot ball game to play" why that means they have to suffer.

 

I know i have no effect on it, and i 'see' the reasons -- shallow though they are, and imo wrong -- i just think it stinks my kids feel punished and have been crying over this --

:001_huh:

I have had to say "I am sorry kids, but some adult just do not take their commitments as seriously as they should, i am sorry you are missing out something you love because of a foot ball game that doesn't actually have anything to do with you"

 

I know I can't change it -- it just really makes me mad

 

Maybe you'll understand a bit better when your kids are older. If your child is on a football team and playing in an important game, then you want to watch them. And if you pull your kid, they'll probably get punished or kicked off the team. It's not like they are constantly blowing off their commitment to Awana, and most leaders would probably have shown up to teach your kids if Awana was held. I think it's kind that the organizers didn't make the parents have to choose. Even if the leaders don't have kids playing, it's a big deal in that community and many parents probably want to experience it with their kids and friends. That's not a sin, and it's not evil. I think your kids are probably overreacting because you are. You could've spun the cancellation in such a way that your kids didn't feel punished. I think it's a blessing that there are enough volunteers to run a 130 participant Awana program the rest of the year, and it's a good opportunity to teach your children to be selfless, and let the volunteers who serve them every other Wednesday get to go to something that is a big deal in the community.

Edited October 26, 2011 by JudoMom

[littleWMN]

Personally, I don't see the big deal. It's one week your kids are missing and I'm sure they are more upset because you are. I think parents have more responsibility to train their kids than the church does, so why not make it a fun Bible night at home? I'm not really into football but if it were my child playing, I'd want to be there. I'm assuming there's a lack of volunteers. I'm sure it's hard to run a children's church program so I'd just be supportive and carry on.

[twoforjoy]

Like I said my kids feel punished and don't understand why just because the "big kids have a foot ball game to play" why that means they have to suffer.

 

If your kids feel like they are suffering and being punished, I think perhaps they are taking this a bit too hard. How often does the group meet? I'm assuming other meetings will be going on as planned? One missed meeting just doesn't seem like a big deal to me.

 

We usually go to our neighbors' house for a small group on Wednesdays. DS really enjoys it; the kids get together and play in the basement. I've been feeling kind of sick today, and have a bunch of papers to grade, so tonight we're not going. DS is a bit disappointed, but he also knows that it's not a huge deal. He'll get to go again next week.

 

I don't see my skipping the group in order to stay home, rest, and grade as putting grading before God. Yes, we pray and we sing and we discuss spiritual things, but the group is mostly about fellowship and hanging out and having some fun with other adults during the week. I like to go, but if there's a reason for me to miss, I don't feel badly about it or force myself to go.

 

I have had to say "I am sorry kids, but some adult just do not take their commitments as seriously as they should, i am sorry you are missing out something you love because of a foot ball game that doesn't actually have anything to do with you"

 

As gently as possible, I think maybe part of the reason your kids are so upset is because you are explaining it that way. The adults also have made, quite likely, a commitment to the football game. As mentioned, I wouldn't be surprised, if it's a small town, if many of the volunteers are the parents of players or cheerleaders or band members or otherwise involved in the game. And, it's much easier to cancel an AWANA meeting than to reschedule a football game.

 

I think that telling your kids that the adults at AWANA don't take their commitment to it as seriously as they should is a mistake. It's disrespectful to the adults, as you don't know what sent into the decision-making process or why they decided what they did, and it's making them out to be the villains in a situation where no villains are required.

 

I'd try to encourage my kids, in that situation, to look on the bright side: maybe plan something fun like a movie night. And then remind them that they'll get to go to AWANA next time.

[ktgrok]

I think cancelling church would be wrong, but AWANAs is not church. It is more recreation that happens to be about God. It isn't mandatory as a part of being a good Christian. If it isn't obligatory, than there is nothing wrong with doing something else instead. Would you allow your child to miss AWANA to go to a friend's birthday party? Or to see a ballet that was only in town one night? I understand that God comes first, but that doesn't mean you can't do other things too.

[mrs.m]

That's not a sin, and it's not evil. I think your kids are probably overreacting because you are. You could've spun the cancellation in such a way that your kids didn't feel punished. I think it's a blessing that there are enough volunteers to run a 130 participant Awana program the rest of the year.

 

 

:iagree:The way that you spin something can change it all around.

 

I would have been getting out ice cream and making a fun night out of it at the first sight of disappointment.

 

"I know it's disappointing that it was cancelled. But maybe they have kids that they would like to see play the game? Let's play a game and have fun together tonight!"

 

I would have kept the commitment part to myself. But I also believe that some of them may have had a commitment to the game in some way. Their family matters too!

[Mrs Mungo]

Nope, That i would understand, it is just they think / know a lot of people will choose the game over their conmitments to awans. Not that THAT says to much good about their staff :glare:

 

I just think it is pretty sad to cancel something effecting 130 little kids for a football game that doesn't actually effect kids under 8 (the age group in our building). Like I said my kids feel punished and don't understand why just because the "big kids have a foot ball game to play" why that means they have to suffer.

 

I know i have no effect on it, and i 'see' the reasons -- shallow though they are, and imo wrong -- i just think it stinks my kids feel punished and have been crying over this --

:001_huh:

I have had to say "I am sorry kids, but some adult just do not take their commitments as seriously as they should, i am sorry you are missing out something you love because of a foot ball game that doesn't actually have anything to do with you"

 

I know I can't change it -- it just really makes me mad

 

Your kids are still pretty young. I think as they get older you will be more likely to understand the fact that teens and parents of teens are frequently the ones volunteering for several different activities. They may be committed to several different activities. But, they can ultimately only be in one place at a time.

 

A district football game isn't a regularly scheduled event, it's an event you must plan around as it comes up. It is also an event that can impact more people than you realize. When I was in marching band in high school my *grade* for band was largely based on me showing up for band events, to include football games. The parents who volunteered to pass out water and help wrangle band instruments also had to be there.

 

Our scouting group is canceled on Monday because of Halloween. A couple of the parents were mad, but those parents aren't stepping up to lead either. There weren't going to be enough parent and teen volunteers there to meet our requirements for minimum number of adults. The fact that they want to spend a fun holiday with their families doesn't make them selfish or not committed.

 

I think it is incredibly unfair the way you are characterizing the people who are normally giving your children their time *every week* to make AWANAS happen. It's something they do out of the goodness of their hearts. Nobody is requiring them to show up and volunteer every week. The fact that it has to be canceled one week suddenly diminishes them in your eyes?

 

I don't see why your kids would be crying or feel punished. Can't you redirect them? Can't you spin it into a positive? "Hey, AWANAS has been canceled this week, but let's spend the evening making popcorn and watching a movie," or something else fun?

Edited October 26, 2011 by Mrs Mungo

[Stacia]

Nope, That i would understand, it is just they think / know a lot of people will choose the game over their conmitments to awans. Not that THAT says to much good about their staff :glare:

 

I just think it is pretty sad to cancel something effecting 130 little kids for a football game that doesn't actually effect kids under 8 (the age group in our building). Like I said my kids feel punished and don't understand why just because the "big kids have a foot ball game to play" why that means they have to suffer.

 

I know i have no effect on it, and i 'see' the reasons -- shallow though they are, and imo wrong -- i just think it stinks my kids feel punished and have been crying over this --

:001_huh:

I have had to say "I am sorry kids, but some adult just do not take their commitments as seriously as they should, i am sorry you are missing out something you love because of a foot ball game that doesn't actually have anything to do with you"

 

I know I can't change it -- it just really makes me mad

 

It's not really a black-and-white issue, as has already been explained by some other posters. There could be/are legitimate reasons for Awanas (or other groups) to be postponed/cancelled once in awhile.

 

No offense, but it sounds like you have a 'victim' mentality about it -- 'they' are doing something & 'we' have to suffer because of them.

 

I think it's doing a disservice to your dc for you to be so upset about it, to portray the other adults/people as 'wrong', etc....

 

Life happens. People make various choices. Just because it's not a choice you would make doesn't make it 'wrong'. Just different.

[cindergretta]

 

Life happens. People make various choices. Just because it's not a choice you would make doesn't make it 'wrong'. Just different.

 

:iagree: I also totally agree with Mrs. Mungo. This isn't about you or your dc or about putting other things first before God. It is about families with older children who are involved and committed to more than one activity. My younger children have one or two regular acitivities per week and they would have no where near the reaction your dc are having to an unexpected cancellation. But then I wouldn't have the reaction you are having so it might not occur to them to be upset.

 

And as a volunteer on *multiple* fronts, I find your attitude toward the volunteers a tad on the callous side. :grouphug: I just had to bow out of Sunday School teaching for the entire month of November. The director emailed me something along the lines of, "No worries. Family FIRST." She made me feel so much better about it than I was feeling and that encourages me to continue making every effort to volunteer when and where I am able. Snarky attitudes toward volunteers is likely to show a decline in willing volunteers. ;)

 

(Also, aren't you a little concerned that you are going to be embarassed next week when your dc show up and say negative things about the cancellation and the lack of committment? :confused: )

[Mommyof4ks]

It might be that too many of their adult and teen volunteers are involved in the game. It might include all cheerleaders, football players, marching band members *and* their parents. If it involves too many of their normal volunteers, then they might not have enough volunteers to run the program that night.

 

Do you volunteer? I thought if you did, then you might be in a better position to know if they are concerned about having enough volunteers that night.

 

:iagree: Sports are a big deal on my state, and somethings get called off for district or state games if many adults and kids will be gone.

 

I have to say that it might be a priority issue too, because although football is not a big deal to you, there are probably times you have missed for things that are important to you. We have missed church to go camping, but that does not

mean God is not as important as camping.

 

ETA: My kids have never cried over a cancelled event, so I have no idea what to say about that. We have a lot going on though, so they are glad for a break occasionally. They have had to learn to roll with the punches, and cancelled things just means we get another movie night or an evening at the park.

Edited October 26, 2011 by dwkilburn1

[Patches]

I am not a fan of sports taking priority over church on a regular basis. Many Christian families are perfectly willing to miss church for sports practice or regular games. I think these priorities are incorrect and communicate to children that they / their activities / sports are more important than corporate worship.

 

That being said, one night with a game that was not expected (and is a big deal) does not mean that they truly value football over God. Only that this time they felt that this was the prudent choice. I also agree with the other poster who said that Awana is not the same as Sunday worship. If they did this often, I would be more concerned.

 

Great chance to model handling disappiontment in a way that reflects who you are as a Christian.

[ChristineW]

Your kids are still pretty young. I think as they get older you will be more likely to understand the fact that teens and parents of teens are frequently the ones volunteering for several different activities. They may be committed to several different activities. But, they can ultimately only be in one place at a time.

 

A district football game isn't a regularly scheduled event, it's an event you must plan around as it comes up. It is also an event that can impact more people than you realize. When I was in marching band in high school my *grade* for band was largely based on me showing up for band events, to include football games. The parents who volunteered to pass out water and help wrangle band instruments also had to be there.

 

Our scouting group is canceled on Monday because of Halloween. A couple of the parents were mad, but those parents aren't stepping up to lead either. There weren't going to be enough parent and teen volunteers there to meet our requirements for minimum number of adults. The fact that they want to spend a fun holiday with their families doesn't make them selfish or not committed.

 

I think it is incredibly unfair the way you are characterizing the people who are normally giving your children their time *every week* to make AWANAS happen. It's something they do out of the goodness of their hearts. Nobody is requiring them to show up and volunteer every week. The fact that it has to be canceled one week suddenly diminishes them in your eyes?

 

I don't see why your kids would be crying or feel punished. Can't you redirect them? Can't you spin it into a positive? "Hey, AWANAS has been canceled this week, but let's spend the evening making popcorn and watching a movie," or something else fun?

 

 

:iagree:

[ktgrok]

I think the issue is that Sports over God is not ok. But AWANA is not God. Not even close.

[dangermom]

I do think you're overreacting. AWANAS is not God. It's not church or worship AFAIK, and I agree with many others here that the volunteers may have commitments to other family members. I'm sorry your kids have to miss something they look forward to, but I'm sure you can show them how to make lemonade out of lemons and have a fun evening with the family.

[WishboneDawn]

Nope, That i would understand, it is just they think / know a lot of people will choose the game over their conmitments to awans. Not that THAT says to much good about their staff :glare:

 

I just think it is pretty sad to cancel something effecting 130 little kids for a football game that doesn't actually effect kids under 8 (the age group in our building). Like I said my kids feel punished and don't understand why just because the "big kids have a foot ball game to play" why that means they have to suffer.

 

I know i have no effect on it, and i 'see' the reasons -- shallow though they are, and imo wrong -- i just think it stinks my kids feel punished and have been crying over this --

:001_huh:

I have had to say "I am sorry kids, but some adult just do not take their commitments as seriously as they should, i am sorry you are missing out something you love because of a foot ball game that doesn't actually have anything to do with you"

 

I know I can't change it -- it just really makes me mad

 

I just don't understand. There are very likely a lot of people that have commitments to this foot ball team and game. Family members playing or, as Mrs. Mungo said, volunteers who are helping out. You seem to being undervaluing that.

 

I also really think you're doing your kids a disservice to be running down the adults involved by telling your kids they aren't taking their commitments seriously. It's sort of petty and not a good example to set.

[Heather in Neverland]

Maybe you'll understand a bit better when your kids are older. If your child is on a football team and playing in an important game, then you want to watch them. And if you pull your kid, they'll probably get punished or kicked off the team. It's not like they are constantly blowing off their commitment to Awana, and most leaders would probably have shown up to teach your kids if Awana was held. I think it's kind that the organizers didn't make the parents have to choose. Even if the leaders don't have kids playing, it's a big deal in that community and many parents probably want to experience it with their kids and friends. That's not a sin, and it's not evil. I think your kids are probably overreacting because you are. You could've spun the cancellation in such a way that your kids didn't feel punished. I think it's a blessing that there are enough volunteers to run a 130 participant Awana program the rest of the year, and it's a good opportunity to teach your children to be selfless, and let the volunteers who serve them every other Wednesday get to go to something that is a big deal in the community.

 

:iagree:

 

They cancel AWANA here for all sorts of things including non-Christian holidays! You just roll with it.

[WishboneDawn]

I think it is incredibly unfair the way you are characterizing the people who are normally giving your children their time *every week* to make AWANAS happen. It's something they do out of the goodness of their hearts. Nobody is requiring them to show up and volunteer every week. The fact that it has to be canceled one week suddenly diminishes them in your eyes?

 

I think this is probably one of the key reasons this thread is irritating me. I'm a volunteer myself as a Girl Guide leader. It's something I take seriously but there are times when life gets in the way. If I had to deal with parents who viewed my volunteer work as an entitlement of theirs then I think I would have burned out pretty fast. Luckily I've generally had understanding parents who stepped up when I needed help, understood when things didn't work out and didn't judge me simply on my failures (because there are ALWAYS failures).

 

It's easy to criticize from the sidelines but very hard to be the one that has to pull these groups and events together.

[momma aimee]

well apparently I am a different kind of person than most here, but that is nothing new.

 

I thought I'd get some support for my 3 yo crying because he doesn't get to go to cubbies tonight, guess i was wrong

[Wendi]

Like I said my kids feel punished and don't understand why just because the "big kids have a foot ball game to play" why that means they have to suffer.

 

I know i have no effect on it, and i 'see' the reasons -- shallow though they are, and imo wrong -- i just think it stinks my kids feel punished and have been crying over this --

:001_huh:

I have had to say "I am sorry kids, but some adult just do not take their commitments as seriously as they should, i am sorry you are missing out something you love because of a foot ball game that doesn't actually have anything to do with you"

 

I know I can't change it -- it just really makes me mad

 

Do you think your kids would be crying and "feel punished" if you just told them, "There's no Awana tonight, guys, so we'll do a read-aloud or play a game at home tonight. You'll have Awana next week like usual, though."? I don't think I would have gone into all the reasons, putting down the leaders, etc., to a 4 and 6 year old.

 

Wendi

[cindergretta]

well apparently I am a different kind of person than most here, but that is nothing new.

 

I thought I'd get some support for my 3 yo crying because he doesn't get to go to cubbies tonight, guess i was wrong

 

:grouphug: No one wants to see children upset and disappointed. But presentation is everything. How we present situations to our dc has a huge impact on how they react, especially as young as 3. My 3 year old would NEVER realize it was X day and we always do Y on X day. It wouldn't occur to her unless and until I said, "We don't have Y tonight." So I wouldn't tell her if I thought she was going to have a meltdown. She is my 6th 3 y/o and honestly, all of them have been the same way. :grouphug: I am not criticzing you or belittling you. I am trying to be gentle. But I think if your dc are so young, you influence how upset they are. And being demeaning and disprespectful toward the volunteers who make this possible for your dc isn't a good example. Explaining that the people who make it possible have children of their own and they are taking some time for their own dc, just like you take time for them, is a better, calmer, kinder way to explain the situation.

 

(The above applies also to my 6 year old. She doesn't have a clue - yet - about what occurs on what days.)

[keptwoman]

I think that telling your kids that the adults at AWANA don't take their commitment to it as seriously as they should is a mistake. It's disrespectful to the adults, as you don't know what sent into the decision-making process or why they decided what they did, and it's making them out to be the villains in a situation where no villains are required.

 

:iagree:

 

I think this is probably one of the key reasons this thread is irritating me. I'm a volunteer myself as a Girl Guide leader. It's something I take seriously but there are times when life gets in the way. If I had to deal with parents who viewed my volunteer work as an entitlement of theirs then I think I would have burned out pretty fast. Luckily I've generally had understanding parents who stepped up when I needed help, understood when things didn't work out and didn't judge me simply on my failures (because there are ALWAYS failures).

 

It's easy to criticize from the sidelines but very hard to be the one that has to pull these groups and events together.

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

 

:grouphug: No one wants to see children upset and disappointed. But presentation is everything. How we present situations to our dc has a huge impact on how they react, especially as young as 3. My 3 year old would NEVER realize it was X day and we always do Y on X day. It wouldn't occur to her unless and until I said, "We don't have Y tonight." So I wouldn't tell her if I thought she was going to have a meltdown. She is my 6th 3 y/o and honestly, all of them have been the same way. :grouphug: I am not criticzing you or belittling you. I am trying to be gentle. But I think if your dc are so young, you influence how upset they are. And being demeaning and disprespectful toward the volunteers who make this possible for your dc isn't a good example. Explaining that the people who make it possible have children of their own and they are taking some time for their own dc, just like you take time for them, is a better, calmer, kinder way to explain the situation.

 

(The above applies also to my 6 year old. She doesn't have a clue - yet - about what occurs on what days.)

:iagree::iagree: Your presentation is EVERYTHING, and at your kids age will strongly influence how they react. If your kids are miserable, you can thank yourself not the volunteers who graciously give their time to teach your kids. And good luck with next week when your kids explain to the volunteers that lead Awanas how their commitment is lacking. Seriously, are YOU volunteering?

[Brigitte]

I guess, but really as I told DH that is a choice each parent needs to make for themselves and answer to God about how they are teaching their kids to order their lives (sports before God) -- but for them to make that choice for us all...again no one closes the church doors on Super Bowl Sunday because less people are coming. ^^shrug^^ nothing i can do about it but i really feel it was the wrong choice

 

So, how did you spend the evening with your boys?

[In2why]

What do I think?

 

I don't equate AWANA with God. While I would choose AWANA, it would be because I don't care about the football game. There are other reasons that I might miss AWANA, but it wouldn't be because I place family visiting from out of town over God, or my sickness over God, etc.

 

I'd spend the evening doing something fun with my kids. I take any time I spend with my kids as a blessing. They know that, and besides, time spent with me can be at least as valuable as AWANA time. I looked at AWANA as a fun and social time for my kids, and any education was just the cherry on top.:001_smile:

 

 

This is my thought. Going to the football game doesn't mean that you are putting football over God. It means you are putting community spirit and possibly family support over AWANA's. I would have my littlers watching their brothers game and miss AWANA's every now and then, because I believe that a strong family is Godly.

[catz]

Used to be an AWANA leader and if this was a small town it would not surprise me if there was a scheduling conflict or attendence would be low due to the event. It happens.

 

:iagree: I guess I wouldn't be upset over it. Maybe all the volunteers had obligations due to the game, or they just realized turn out would be tiny. I wouldn't take it personally at all. Maybe you can volunteer to be a more visible presence in the program in the future if you want to be involved in those kind of decisions.

 

My oldest is starting to have obligations to group activities and I think you will start to have some of this as your kids age. It really is nothing personal. You really are lucky to have such a large and vibrant program available to you most of the time.

 

I think this is probably one of the key reasons this thread is irritating me. I'm a volunteer myself as a Girl Guide leader. It's something I take seriously but there are times when life gets in the way. If I had to deal with parents who viewed my volunteer work as an entitlement of theirs then I think I would have burned out pretty fast. Luckily I've generally had understanding parents who stepped up when I needed help, understood when things didn't work out and didn't judge me simply on my failures (because there are ALWAYS failures).

 

It's easy to criticize from the sidelines but very hard to be the one that has to pull these groups and events together.

:iagree: As someone who volunteers many, many hours in and out of church.

[bettyandbob]

Honestly, I believe no matter how badly something is being run persons who are not actively volunteering have no right to complain. Bringing in snack once in a while is not actively volunteering. Fulfilling some assigned volunteer committment is not actively volunteering (it's doing your duty and running a program takes so much more than that). You do not know how hard or how much time goes into these activities until you have a role actually running/leading the activity. If you've never organized AWANAS, been the scout leader, coached the soccer team, managed the club for a full year, you have no idea.

 

If you can step up and run the program while the coach and other volunteers are out do so. If you are ready to take a leadership role do so and then propose the changes you wish to make. Otherwise, you have no place to complain.

 

These people are not just doing activities with your kids 1 night a week. They are spending weekend time planning. They go to required trainings to volunteer. All during time they could spend with their own families. Rather than tell your dc these volunteers have failed somehow, you should be emphasizing how great it is these volunteers are for spending time with them.

[Catwoman]

I think you are over-reacting, but I know how hard it is to be reasonable and see the "bigger picture" (volunteers and other families placing importance on going to the football game) when your kids are disappointed.

[In2why]

Honestly, I believe no matter how badly something is being run persons who are not actively volunteering have no right to complain. Bringing in snack once in a while is not actively volunteering. Fulfilling some assigned volunteer committment is not actively volunteering (it's doing your duty and running a program takes so much more than that). You do not know how hard or how much time goes into these activities until you have a role actually running/leading the activity. If you've never organized AWANAS, been the scout leader, coached the soccer team, managed the club for a full year, you have no idea.

 

If you can step up and run the program while the coach and other volunteers are out do so. If you are ready to take a leadership role do so and then propose the changes you wish to make. Otherwise, you have no place to complain.

 

These people are not just doing activities with your kids 1 night a week. They are spending weekend time planning. They go to required trainings to volunteer. All during time they could spend with their own families. Rather than tell your dc these volunteers have failed somehow, you should be emphasizing how great it is these volunteers are for spending time with them.

 

 

I agree, and as I read this thread I keep thinking of something I hear again and again from youth volunteers. "I love the kids, but I just can't deal with the parents." Usually right before they quit.

[AngelBee]

I agree, and as I read this thread I keep thinking of something I hear again and again from youth volunteers. "I love the kids, but I just can't deal with the parents." Usually right before they quit.

 

I think that goes with any volunteer position or career dealing with kids. It is hard because you have two separate crowds to please.

[mytwomonkeys]

i think it's okay to cancel it. AWANA is run by a lot of volunteers & if the football game is a big deal, they have the right to attend, as do the other families ad children that participate. if my kids were really disappointed, i would just create a family night at home with a devotional and fun.

[OrganicAnn]

Don't know if I missed an update in the middle since I just skimmed. But maybe they were worried about a lot of issues and not just so that kids could go to the game. Maybe traffic or that there might be drunk drivers on the road that night. Maybe key adults couldn't make it because of commitments to be at the game. I think they are in charge, so they get to make the decision.

[Impish]

well apparently I am a different kind of person than most here, but that is nothing new.

 

I thought I'd get some support for my 3 yo crying because he doesn't get to go to cubbies tonight, guess i was wrong

Oh geeze.

 

Perhaps he wouldn't be crying if you'd approached this differently, instead of focusing on how others are letting you down, etc.

 

Hmmm, what would be important to the average family...going to see their child play in a special, important, may never happen again event, or volunteer wrangling 130 other ppl's kids?

 

Its not God vs football. Its family vs volunteer work...and imo, family should ALWAYS win out.

 

Volunteer work is about community. So is this special game. AWANAs is weekly, this game isn't.

 

You're being completely unreasonable, imo.

[silliness7]

my Boys go to Awanas -- in the next town over.

 

tonight that school district is in the some big deal high school foot ball game, district? it is not state.

 

they cancelled Awanas -- that 130 kids go to each week -- for the game.

 

I told the director I felt this was the wrong choice to make -- church is no canceled on Super Bowl Sunday -- and God comes before football. I said even if my boys had an older sib at the game THEY would be at Awanas and if my older child had a youth group or other obligation he or she would simply have to miss the 'big deal' football game. I do place football in front of God. I also stated i feel it is a dangerous predident to set "oh well there is something else going on, so let's skip God Education and go to ______ (sporting event, concert, etc).

 

I just feel it wrong to place something else, especially just a sports game, above a commitment to meet God and leran about Him each week. Again church service is not called off on account of the Super Bowl.

 

I got a fairly PC and BS reply

 

 

 

I can't change it, but i have told my boys i am sorry they have to miss it -- they are both really really sad and upset -- and i told them that i do not think it got called off for a good reason. I told them our family doesn't put sports before God and that i feel the leaders made a silly decision but that there is nothing i can do about it and i am sorry they'll miss the fun they normally have.

 

both boys are sad and do not understand what a high school football game has to do with them and frankly DS1 said "so we get in trouble and loose something good because they have a game to play, the game is not at the school [where they meet] so why can't they play the game and us have Sparks?" Frankly all i can tell him is that 'some times adults make really silly and bad choices"

 

really fustrated and sad

 

 

:grouphug::grouphug: Totally stinks. I'm not a sports fan at all. The only sporting events I watch are ones in which my children participate in and that's not much because our family is just not into sports.

 

However, I don't necessarily think that what the Awana leaders did was wrong. But that's just me. Our family's personal convictions place a very high priority on Sunday worship. Absolutely no event that I can imagine would trump that. (o.k. a childbirth would. :D) And that can get dicey in this day and age to stick to your guns. But I'd be flexible with Wed.

 

It's quite possible that so many leaders and students were going to be gone that it would not have been feasible to hold Wed. night programs. If it were something else (not football) that your family was totally into would you skip Wed. night? You have to give others the grace to skip too even if their super cool thing isn't yours.

[twoforjoy]

well apparently I am a different kind of person than most here, but that is nothing new.

 

I thought I'd get some support for my 3 yo crying because he doesn't get to go to cubbies tonight, guess i was wrong

 

I think everybody thinks it's a shame that your children are upset. It is.

 

But, while your kids wouldn't have been upset if AWANA hadn't been cancelled, they also likely wouldn't have been upset, or upset for long, if you had presented this as a chance to do something fun tonight as a family.

 

I do think saying things like this

 

i told them that i do not think it got called off for a good reason. I told them our family doesn't put sports before God and that i feel the leaders made a silly decision but that there is nothing i can do about it and i am sorry they'll miss the fun they normally have...

 

Frankly all i can tell him is that 'some times adults make really silly and bad choices"

 

is showing an enormous amount of ingratitude to the volunteers. Do you really want your kids to think that the volunteers are somehow not as great and spiritual as your family and put sports before God? If that's the case, why aren't you volunteering? What are you putting "before God" on Wednesday nights? (Those are rhetorical questions. It's not my business what you are doing Wednesday nights, and I'm not in any position to judge what you are or are not putting "before God.")

 

I just find the way you talked about this with your kids very upsetting. You are not victims in this, and it does no good to present it that way. They are missing one week of a program that the volunteers sacrifice their time and energy for every other week, most likely for good reasons, many of which have been mentioned here.

 

It is a shame that your kids are sad, it really is. But if you hadn't allowed them to feel punished and like they are suffering over this, by explaining this as the generous volunteers who give their time to them every week spending one week with their families at an event that was important to them, and wouldn't this be a great night for you all to spend as a family, too, then there probably wouldn't have been tears.

[Cheryl in NM]

I can understand you being upset.

 

I'm taking a leap here (because you haven't clarified), the adult volunteers that put on AWANA have children in the game. In that case wouldn't they be putting THEIR children over your children and thus the biblical thing to do?

 

I agree with others about your presentation to your children. I understand you are upset and think it was a bad decision, but it's not your job as a parent to pass that on to your children. It's your job to soften the blow not get your young children aligned with you in and "us against them" mentality that will only hurt them when AWANA resumes next week.