july19 Posted July 4, 2011 Author Share Posted July 4, 2011 Drew didn't bring it up, so my husband did. He started with a simple message of, "you're like family and we love you, however long it takes you to sort things through, we'll be there for you" and Drew thanked him. Nick sort of continued along the lines of, "Do you have any idea of what will happen..." and Drew cut him off. He started crying, and they talked the whole way home. And talked when they got home. Drew included me in, too, which was nice - I had a chance to learn a lot more about what makes Drew, Drew. I think the core of the matter was, she was out of his league, and he knew it. I mean, Drew is a great looking guy (put him in a kilt... :lol:) but he's never been successful with women. When she started paying attention to him, he was so surprised that he let a lot of things go that he shouldn't have. And he let her get away with a lot of things he shouldn't have. Relationship of low self esteem meets controlling person and it was a recipe for unhappiness. He said he felt the warning signals, but pushed them away. The fight about cutting my Nicky's hair was sort of the wake up call that he needed. Long story short, he's ending the engagement and the relationship. He's already called his parents this morning, had another good cathartic cry. He'll be moving home with them, and they are beyond thrilled. Drew asked his dad and Nick to be there when he goes back to the apartment to get his stuff. And he hasn't called her yet - said he needs one more cup of coffee before braving that call. I think we are all quite relieved. Even though Drew knows it is what is best, he's still upset. He does love her, and it will take time for him to heal. Nonetheless, even though we all don't drink, we will definitely be having congratulatory diet cokes later :cheers2: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Osmosis Mom Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 Wow, I think this must be the truest case of friendship I have seen. Hope he'll heal soon and find his soul-mate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama Geek Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 Drew didn't bring it up, so my husband did. He started with a simple message of, "you're like family and we love you, however long it takes you to sort things through, we'll be there for you" and Drew thanked him. Nick sort of continued along the lines of, "Do you have any idea of what will happen..." and Drew cut him off. He started crying, and they talked the whole way home. And talked when they got home. Drew included me in, too, which was nice - I had a chance to learn a lot more about what makes Drew, Drew. I think the core of the matter was, she was out of his league, and he knew it. I mean, Drew is a great looking guy (put him in a kilt... :lol:) but he's never been successful with women. When she started paying attention to him, he was so surprised that he let a lot of things go that he shouldn't have. And he let her get away with a lot of things he shouldn't have. Relationship of low self esteem meets controlling person and it was a recipe for unhappiness. He said he felt the warning signals, but pushed them away. The fight about cutting my Nicky's hair was sort of the wake up call that he needed. Long story short, he's ending the engagement and the relationship. He's already called his parents this morning, had another good cathartic cry. He'll be moving home with them, and they are beyond thrilled. Drew asked his dad and Nick to be there when he goes back to the apartment to get his stuff. And he hasn't called her yet - said he needs one more cup of coffee before braving that call. I think we are all quite relieved. Even though Drew knows it is what is best, he's still upset. He does love her, and it will take time for him to heal. Nonetheless, even though we all don't drink, we will definitely be having congratulatory diet cokes later :cheers2: By the sounds of things, I would say that she was out of his league, not the other way around. I know it won't be easy, but I am hopeful that he will have the courage to break it off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
july19 Posted July 4, 2011 Author Share Posted July 4, 2011 Wow, I think this must be the truest case of friendship I have seen. Hope he'll heal soon and find his soul-mate. Emotions must be running high, because that made me cry :001_smile: My husband battled some horrible anxiety and depression and mild agoraphobia before meeting me, and Drew was pretty much the only friend that truly stuck by Nick. Those two are more like brothers than Nick is with his actual two brothers. And I agree, I hope he finds someone as equally wonderful and full of love as he is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 I really hope that the parents go after her for the money. Not all of it will be refunded, but a percentage will be...and the idea of her waltzing off with $$$ makes me want to hurl. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
C_l_e_0..Q_c Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 And he hasn't called her yet - said he needs one more cup of coffee before braving that call. I think we are all quite relieved. Even though Drew knows it is what is best, he's still upset. He does love her, and it will take time for him to heal. Nonetheless, even though we all don't drink, we will definitely be having congratulatory diet cokes later :cheers2: Wow... That's pretty much all I can say. That would be one of the hardest phone calls to make! Yes it needs to be made, but wow... I'll keep Drew in my thoughts today. And the lady too. She's getting a tough wake up call! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
july19 Posted July 4, 2011 Author Share Posted July 4, 2011 I really hope that the parents go after her for the money. Not all of it will be refunded, but a percentage will be...and the idea of her waltzing off with $$$ makes me want to hurl. Yeah, I'm not real sure what will happen with that. I'm not sure if that money went towards a refundable type thing (like honeymoon plane tickets, reception locale, etc) or what....but I agree. I hope something happens with that. :glare: And Mama Geek, thank you for that...we agree :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
C_l_e_0..Q_c Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 On the other hand, isn't today "Independence day" ?? In more ways than one! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Osmosis Mom Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 Emotions must be running high, because that made me cry :001_smile: My husband battled some horrible anxiety and depression and mild agoraphobia before meeting me, and Drew was pretty much the only friend that truly stuck by Nick. Those two are more like brothers than Nick is with his actual two brothers. And I agree, I hope he finds someone as equally wonderful and full of love as he is. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 On the other hand, isn't today "Independence day" ?? In more ways than one! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Little Nyssa Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 :001_smile::001_smile::001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GWOB Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 On the other hand, isn't today "Independence day" ?? In more ways than one! Isn't there a Martina McBride song about leaving your s/o on Independence Day? OP, you should dig up that song and play it for your friend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 Isn't there a Martina McBride song about leaving your s/o on Independence Day? OP, you should dig up that song and play it for your friend. Actually, the mom kills the dad, burns the house down. Not quite what they're going for. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GWOB Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 Actually, the mom kills the dad, burns the house down. Not quite what they're going for. :lol: Oh crud:blush::tongue_smilie:. Can you tell I don't listen to much country music? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 Oh crud:blush::tongue_smilie:. Can you tell I don't listen to much country music? :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OLG Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 Long story short, he's ending the engagement and the relationship. He's already called his parents this morning, had another good cathartic cry. He'll be moving home with them, and they are beyond thrilled. Drew asked his dad and Nick to be there when he goes back to the apartment to get his stuff. And he hasn't called her yet - said he needs one more cup of coffee before braving that call. I think we are all quite relieved. Even though Drew knows it is what is best, he's still upset. He does love her, and it will take time for him to heal. Nonetheless, even though we all don't drink, we will definitely be having congratulatory diet cokes later :cheers2: What a shining example of true friendship and love! Prayers that Drew has the strength to get that call over with and begin the healing process. HE is so fortunate to have the support and love of your dh and you. I am so thrilled about this news - you'd think he was my own brother or something! :) Godspeed to you all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UnsinkableKristen Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 Wow. :grouphug: and prayers that he heals well and that she sees this as her own personal wake up call. Your husband and his friend are lucky to have eachother's back :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scuff Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 I guess he knows what he's getting into if this wedding debacle hasn't brought out her true colors. I wonder if his folks would just say to him, "We don't care about the 50K we've already spent; we'll cut our losses. We just want you to be happy and we don't think it's possible if you marry her." As far as her parents? They deserve to lose everything for raising such a tyrant! Yuck. :iagree: My SIL broke off a wedding and is now getting married again. It was humbling for her and she felt bad about it. But her mom said exactly this and she had the strength to break it off. $ lost now will always be less than the heartache and $ lost later. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deacongirl Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 This isn't necessarily true. :( Sadly, it's often easier to get married than it is to break up, even when one or both people know getting married is not the right thing to do. You could ask him questions that will lead to him understanding what his future might look like. Has her character changed since she's been planning the wedding? Does she usually demand her way like this? What would she be like if the wedding was low-key and inexpensive? What is it about the best man's hair cut that is driving her insane? Pictures? Conformity? Does he even know or care? What will his life be like in 5 or 10 years with this woman? (I know other posters will have much better questions!) You're right in that this has to be the groom's decision. Any interference could be disastrous. Calling off a wedding at this point is very expensive, difficult(,) and humbling. I think these are very wise questions that a close friend would/should ask. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clarkacademy Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 I would be scared to call. I would just show up and get my stuff. That way no one has a time to be destructive or misplace property. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
celticmom Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 I would be scared to call. I would just show up and get my stuff. That way no one has a time to be destructive or misplace property. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
6packofun Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 Here's the thing. I'm sure lots of us could play this game. I agree, but I won't say that and then go ahead and post our costs anyway. :confused: That said, I think that this is one of those situations to stay OUT of. If, as this guy's good friend, there hadn't been a hint of this kind of behavior by his fiancee by now (or I still hadn't said anything about it!), I'd chalk it up to wedding psychosis and let it pass. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meggie Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 I agree, but I won't say that and then go ahead and post our costs anyway. :confused: That said, I think that this is one of those situations to stay OUT of. If, as this guy's good friend, there hadn't been a hint of this kind of behavior by his fiancee by now (or I still hadn't said anything about it!), I'd chalk it up to wedding psychosis and let it pass. Wedding psychosis?! Are you kidding me?!? She kicked him out of their apartment over someone else's hair. If he ended up marrying him, she'd kick him out again over something equally ridiculous. Planning a wedding is no excuse to be a tyrant and a witch. Can it be stressful? Yes. But if they can't handle the stress of planning a wedding, they sure as H-E-double hockey sticks won't be able to handle the stress of marriage. And anyway, the groom has already decided to break it off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
C_l_e_0..Q_c Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 Actually, the mom kills the dad, burns the house down. Not quite what they're going for. :lol: And that is exactly what the groom is trying to avoid in the long run! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 That is great news! It will be one lucky lady who gets him in the long run!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mynyel Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 Ok I have to say first that the $$ amount you posted is absolutely ridiculous for a wedding. I mean I know they are supposed to be special (*snort* Not a big fan of weddings :)) but mercy that amount is more than my dh and I made in the last 2 years. Is this girl royalty? Anyway. If it was me (which it isn't) and my dh (which it isn't) I tell her to take a flying leap (nicely). I realize this is her wedding, but to demand something so personal as a hair cut when it means that much? That is going to far. That is like saying to her maid of honor "I want you in my wedding but your too fat, lose weight" :001_huh:. Kiss it. Perhaps that isn't the best attitude but even at events like this people (Like the bride for instance) needs to step out of herself for a few minutes and realize that what she demands may not make everyone comfortable. I just can't stand it when people get like that. It sets me off on my soap box. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mynyel Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 ...... and I posted before reading the entire thread. :) Nothing new there. Glad things are working out, I sooo wish I had friends like you. My family would do exactly what you have done but that is family. Friends, however, are different. :hurray: Now, you must keep us posted till the end. What happens when he gets his stuff? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 Good for him!! Here's to new independence and quick recovery. :cheers2: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renthead Mommy Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 That's good. It's great his friend took it so well. They have a great friendship. Like I said before, I'm 100% sure that had they gone through with the marriage, one of the first things she would have done is start weeding out the friends of his that weren't up to her standard/counter productive to her goals. And you two would have gone! Quickly! Eventually he would have wised up and the whole thing would have ended. Sounds like your husband would have been a big enough man to still be willing to step in and be there for him later, even after he would have been dropped. I think if it came to that, that situation would have been harder on the friend than the wife situation at that point. Glad it didn't come to that. Crazy-ass wives come and go. True best friends stay with you forever! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 Wedding psychosis?! Are you kidding me?!? She kicked him out of their apartment over someone else's hair. If he ended up marrying him, she'd kick him out again over something equally ridiculous. Planning a wedding is no excuse to be a tyrant and a witch. Can it be stressful? Yes. But if they can't handle the stress of planning a wedding, they sure as H-E-double hockey sticks won't be able to handle the stress of marriage. And anyway, the groom has already decided to break it off. Hey, watch it with the witch comments will you? Some of us would rather not be associated with that kind of woman. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meggie Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 Hey, watch it with the witch comments will you? Some of us would rather not be associated with that kind of woman. ;) I apologize. I used it more as a reference to another word spelled almost exactly the same, but would probably get me in trouble for using on the board. But then again, that might make all the girl dogs upset. *sigh* Time to go check a thesaurus. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 I apologize. I used it more as a reference to another word spelled almost exactly the same, but would probably get me in trouble for using on the board. But then again, that might make all the girl dogs upset. *sigh* Time to go check a thesaurus. :D I was kidding with you, ya know. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meggie Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 I was kidding with you, ya know. ;) I know, I was kidding back. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Osmosis Mom Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 I know, I was kidding back. :tongue_smilie: :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 I know, I was kidding back. :tongue_smilie: :tongue_smilie: :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clarkacademy Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 So I am just dieing to know, did this poor guy get all of his stuff back? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 I'm curious, too, about the fallout. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 If I were best man, father of the groom, or brother, I would open my mouth. Polite, private, but I would. And when it turned out I was right, I would NEVER mention the conversation. Yes. This. I am shocked by the number of people who think a BEST FRIEND shouldn't tell this man he thinks he might be making a mistake! If you can't depend on your loved ones to tell you the truth how can you trust anyone! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 And anyway, the groom has already decided to break it off. Oops. Guess I should have read the entire thread first. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 Wow, I think this must be the truest case of friendship I have seen. Hope he'll heal soon and find his soul-mate. Yes! I got weepy when I read that his friend had the courage to talk to him. VERY true friend! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 Actually, the mom kills the dad, burns the house down. Not quite what they're going for. :lol: And the child (telling the story) is sent to the county home. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted July 6, 2011 Share Posted July 6, 2011 So I am just dieing to know, did this poor guy get all of his stuff back? He's probably hanging upside down in her lair, with her eggs implanted in him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clarkacademy Posted July 6, 2011 Share Posted July 6, 2011 He's probably hanging upside down in her lair, with her eggs implanted in him. LOLOLOL You are just not nice for that.......but I like it !!!!:lol::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
july19 Posted July 6, 2011 Author Share Posted July 6, 2011 I'm so relieved to not be dating any longer. Can I just first start with that? Because it's true. I really am relieved. He had decided not to officially "end" it over the phone, for he felt that was callous, even for her. So he braved the call, and said that they should talk, etc. She became hysterical, crying and weeping, begging for forgiveness. For a moment, I thought he would cave. He remained stoic, and just said he wanted to talk in person. She demanded to know if they were going to remain together, and when he gave vague, non-committal answers, she became angry. So, when he asked to meet the final time, she said "maybe this weekend" but she "can't promise anything" because she's really busy. He said that he needed some of his things, and some more clothes, and asked if he could just pick those up later and she responded with calling the cops if he came over when she wasn't there (it is technically her place....ugh) or if he came over unannounced. :glare: :glare: :glare: So, he has decided to never go there without the presence of one of their friends who is a cop. He wants someone there just in case she tries to pull some B.S. like he took something that wasn't his, that he broke something, etc. Better safe than sorry is currently his motto. Also, a side note, her parents called Drew last night to talk, and to genuinely apologize for, and I quote, "a spoiled little girl" who has an "inflated sense of self entitlement". OUCH :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Osmosis Mom Posted July 6, 2011 Share Posted July 6, 2011 Wow. Good for him to be rid of her. And poor parents to have to stay with her :D. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted July 6, 2011 Share Posted July 6, 2011 I'm so relieved to not be dating any longer. Can I just first start with that? Because it's true. I really am relieved. He had decided not to officially "end" it over the phone, for he felt that was callous, even for her. So he braved the call, and said that they should talk, etc. She became hysterical, crying and weeping, begging for forgiveness. For a moment, I thought he would cave. He remained stoic, and just said he wanted to talk in person. She demanded to know if they were going to remain together, and when he gave vague, non-committal answers, she became angry. So, when he asked to meet the final time, she said "maybe this weekend" but she "can't promise anything" because she's really busy. He said that he needed some of his things, and some more clothes, and asked if he could just pick those up later and she responded with calling the cops if he came over when she wasn't there (it is technically her place....ugh) or if he came over unannounced. :glare: :glare: :glare: So, he has decided to never go there without the presence of one of their friends who is a cop. He wants someone there just in case she tries to pull some B.S. like he took something that wasn't his, that he broke something, etc. Better safe than sorry is currently his motto. Also, a side note, her parents called Drew last night to talk, and to genuinely apologize for, and I quote, "a spoiled little girl" who has an "inflated sense of self entitlement". OUCH :lol: :confused: Why would they do that? Who spoiled her? Where did the sense of entitlement originate? Children aren't raised in a vacuum. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GWOB Posted July 6, 2011 Share Posted July 6, 2011 I'm so relieved to not be dating any longer. Can I just first start with that? Because it's true. I really am relieved. He had decided not to officially "end" it over the phone, for he felt that was callous, even for her. So he braved the call, and said that they should talk, etc. She became hysterical, crying and weeping, begging for forgiveness. For a moment, I thought he would cave. He remained stoic, and just said he wanted to talk in person. She demanded to know if they were going to remain together, and when he gave vague, non-committal answers, she became angry. So, when he asked to meet the final time, she said "maybe this weekend" but she "can't promise anything" because she's really busy. He said that he needed some of his things, and some more clothes, and asked if he could just pick those up later and she responded with calling the cops if he came over when she wasn't there (it is technically her place....ugh) or if he came over unannounced. :glare: :glare: :glare: So, he has decided to never go there without the presence of one of their friends who is a cop. He wants someone there just in case she tries to pull some B.S. like he took something that wasn't his, that he broke something, etc. Better safe than sorry is currently his motto. Also, a side note, her parents called Drew last night to talk, and to genuinely apologize for, and I quote, "a spoiled little girl" who has an "inflated sense of self entitlement". OUCH :lol: Oh my! If anything ever happens to dh I am just going to join a convent. The whole dating thing is just too much effort. And drama. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oak Knoll Mom Posted July 6, 2011 Share Posted July 6, 2011 :confused: Why would they do that? Who spoiled her? Where did the sense of entitlement originate? Children aren't raised in a vacuum. I guess they are apologizing because they feel responsible for raising her to be like that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted July 6, 2011 Share Posted July 6, 2011 (edited) I guess they are apologizing because they feel responsible for raising her to be like that. They recently paid $40,000 for a dress and a pair of shoes for the daughter they are now calling a "very spoiled little girl." What made them suddenly see the light? And isn't she 25 yo? No longer a little girl. Edited July 6, 2011 by unsinkable Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy2BeautifulGirls Posted July 6, 2011 Share Posted July 6, 2011 What the heck does she need $50,000 for? That is enough for five weddings!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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