Katherine A. Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 (edited) I have 6 year old triplets and then a 7 year old and 11 year old- all boys, the all share a room (its huge) and we designed so they have things to climb play on its like a huge playroom beds! But they insist they have to be rough with each other, wrestling etc. :boxing_smiley: they are well behaved kids but when it comes to this, it wont get through their head! :glare: We've taken away things assigned chores, etc. Why wont it get through their heads? :toetap05: I also have 18 yod, 16 yod , 15 yos, 14 yod, 9 yod, and 3 year old twin girls. I just dont have time for this..Any advice? Edited June 25, 2011 by Katherine A. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AK_Mom4 Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 I guess I would just make them take it outside. Roughhousing in the house just isn't allowed here. Break the rule and you (and all your wrestling buddies!) sit in a corner for a ridiculously long amount of time. If they wanted to wrestle they took it outside - and don't bother coming to me for sympathy when someone gets hurt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 Do they hurt each other? Can they hurt anything in the room? I have always allowed wrestling between my boys: it seems to help them to work out any tensions that might build up, especially if they have been together a lot. They do it outside if the weather is good, or inside in a safe space. They aren't allowed to do it at bedtime, or at other times when they need to be calming down. Perhaps you could negotiate times and places for them? Laura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oops, duplicate account :/ Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 Very specific rules like no wrestling unless supervised by an adult, no running, hitting, pushing, or kicking and consequences seem to be helping us. If they start roughhousing they are sent outside for a time no matter how cold ;). I set the timer and they can hear it go off from outside and file back in. Goofing off at the dinner table means they are exscused no matter how much of their meal they have finished. Sounds mean, but its working! I have heard several times from moms of boys that their biggest regret is not nipping the rough behavior in the bud as it only got worse as they got bigger and could do more damage. This has stuck with me and im doing my best in that regard! Interested to hear from others. :bigear: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oops, duplicate account :/ Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 Oh, and with wrestling...we try to have matches at night and we make it fun with counting up to a pin and teaching them technique and rules. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sputterduck Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 Um, when my dad was 50 he was still roughhousing with his brother. My grandma used to charge into the kitchen at 75 years old and say, "BOYS! BEHAVE!" Boys do this. It's normal. Testosterone does strange things. eta: And my son, too. He met his cousin on a recent trip and they are about the same size. They just naturally, without even knowing each other, ended up wrestling within 5 minutes of meeting. We didn't stop them. They were having a grand ole time. I love having a boy. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laundrycrisis Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 We have only two boys, but wresting is a major part of their interaction with each other. We have rules for it. DS1 must take off his glasses and they have to do it downstairs in the middle of the basement carpet or out in the yard. No hitting, kicking, pinching etc. No creative use of furniture. If anyone gets mad for real it is time for a break. Our boys wrestle with each other and aren't interested in wrestling with other kids. It's funny though. The girl next door has only a younger sister. She lives next to us, and to another house with two boys who are always tangled up with each other. She begs our DS1 to wrestle with her. She sees all this wrestling and wants to put her physical strength against someone. Tricky situation there. We also have two friends with boys DS1's age who don't have any brothers. When these boys get together with each other, or with DS1, they immediately want to wrestle. The two friends really go at it. DS1 is bored by it because he wrestles with DS2 daily. I've explained that his friends don't have brothers to wrestle with so he sort of puts up with it. But he really only wants to wrestle with his own brother. Um, when my dad was 50 he was still roughhousing with his brother. My grandma used to charge into the kitchen at 75 years old and say, "BOYS! BEHAVE!" :lol: I see this in my future. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 Um, when my dad was 50 he was still roughhousing with his brother. My grandma used to charge into the kitchen at 75 years old and say, "BOYS! BEHAVE!" Boys do this. It's normal. Testosterone does strange things. LOL, I believe that. My brothers were the same way, and my two boys, though only 6 and 2, are as well. They're forever climbing and wrestling and flopping on each other (and then falling asleep snuggled up together). At this point, since the little guy is still a lot littler, I just make sure that he's not being hurt or overwhelmed (though he generally gives as well as he gets and is very tough), but I totally expect that it will continue. (Shoot, when DH comes home, he's likely to rough-house with the children, especially the boys, much moreso than I am. I think rough-housing lets them exert energy, but it also provides a physical outlet for affection, especially among males. Older boys might not feel comfortable giving hugs, but rough-housing is the equivalent for them.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.... Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 I feel your pain. My 8 yro son was trying to wrestle the 3 yro yesterday. She only weighs 28 pounds. That is not a good idea! :glare: I have no advice. Do you have a fenced-in backyard they could run around in while you get stuff done? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pamela H in Texas Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 Welcome to the board...Have you lurked long? do you homeschool? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katherine A. Posted June 25, 2011 Author Share Posted June 25, 2011 Welcome to the board...Have you lurked long? do you homeschool? Yes Ive lurked for awhile, and I do homeschool all of them, the only one who's ever been in public school is my oldest (18yod) and we pulled her out after her kindergarten year. Do they hurt each other? Can they hurt anything in the room? There room is pretty boy proof,so they dont break anything. Luckily they are just goofing off, and the 11yo realizes to he cant be to rough. But there have been times they ended up hurt, not to bad though. I feel your pain. My 8 yro son was trying to wrestle the 3 yro yesterday. She only weighs 28 pounds. That is not a good idea! :glare: I have no advice. Do you have a fenced-in backyard they could run around in while you get stuff done? I know what you mean! My 15yos has seen them try to convince my 3yo twins to wrestle them :glare: luckily he brought them over to me, i was in the other room trying to help the 14yo with math. We do have a HUGE backyard, and they run around all the time. But anywhere they are in the house they start to fight, not to mention when they have their friends over.. :glare: Im thinking i might just allow it, but either outside or in their room,and tell them they are NOT going to fight there 3 year old sisters. And if they get hurt dont come crying to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 My dh is one of 5 boys. He's second to the youngest and there are also 2 girls in there. He says that's just what boys do. I only have a brother so I never understood the boy dynamic. I defer to him in these cases. If I were in your shoes, Katherine, I would allow rough housing with conditions. Only in their room, clear of toys they could hurt or be hurt by, etc. Pick your battles. This isn't one I would pick. I let my boys rough house and I step in if it gets too rough. (They also know if they are rough housing and get injured, I'm not a sympathetic ear-go grab and ice pack and chill for awhile. Ha!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 Inside, keep your hands to yourself. Period. Any rough housing at all inevitably escalates when you have a pack of boys. So any rough housing at all, and the participants get kicked outside for a few. I had to be really strict about this, but also non-punitive. I didn't assign punishments, and to me, a friendly but firm "take it outside" is not a punishment. The first signs of physical tussling, and they went outside. I also didn't really allow running, bouncing balls, etc. inside. I did accept that fact that I would have to say this over and over, but that was fine. Partly this is just because I am noise and activity sensitive. As a Mom, I think you have to know yourself. For me, this would really take a lot of the joy out of home life, so I just made a rule that made me a happier Mom, and everyone else adjusted. The pay off is that I have teen boys who, while messy and sometimes smelly, are otherwise entirely civilized inside. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alyeska Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 My ds wrestles with any other little boy who is also game. :) Our only rule is to not be too rough and we allow it inside also. If my ds has no one to wrestle with, he makes his stuffed animals wrestle. Lol! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2squared Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 . He says that's just what boys do. :iagree: Boys show physical affection by wrestling. My oldest boys would much rather I give them a couple good play punches than hugs. My older two boys already play wrestle with my baby boy, and it is just adorable to see them physically loving on him. I even reward my 7yo with play punches, tickles, and butt smashes for completing his school work. My boys wrestle when they are happy. They fight when angry. BIG difference. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spy Car Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 I am not understanding the problem. This is what boys are supposed to do. Bill Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ester Maria Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 (an off-topic note to self: reason #235 why I am grateful to have girls. :tongue_smilie:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mycalling Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 Ours were the same until we put them into a wrestling club. Now they are serious about wrestling and hardly wrestle each other unless it's wrestling season and they're being coached/supervised. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simka2 Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 TwinA (9) has an impulse disorder that can result in an injury, has resulted in injuries and is just all around frustrating :glare:. He has recently been put on medication.....and I still can't get him and his twin to stop wrestling!!!! So, I am of no help other than to say, "You can't even drug it out of them." :D Edited: My 10yr old dd can be quite the wrestler too! Just yesterday dh had to remind her brother not to wrestle her because, "She will take you down!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spy Car Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 (an off-topic note to self: reason #235 why I am grateful to have girls. :tongue_smilie:) I on the other hand took a break between working on some cool logic and algebra problems with my son this morning to work on how to form a proper fist, the need to keep the back of ones hand in proper alignment with the wrist and fore-arm, and how to throw a proper punch without breaking ones fingers. Now we are off to the park to play a little hand-ball and rugby :D Boys! Bill Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 I am not understanding the problem. This is what boys are supposed to do. Bill I am pretty sure that many generations of people managed to train boys to enjoy all their crazy boy activity outside and to gradually become gentleman inside. Never quite understand why people think they can't train boys that there are inside rules and outside rules! Of course, I have raised my boys in climate that mostly allow one to have year round access to the outside. I guess if I were a Mom in Minnesota, I might just put down padded carpeting in the basement, leave it otherwise entirely empty, and let them have at it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renee in NC Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 My father is having shoulder surgery sometime later this year to repair a shoulder injury he got while trying to wrestle my 18yo and 13yo boys. He said, "You can't knock me down!" and well, they did.:lol: My dh and the 18yo still wrestle at times (it's interesting because dh is much larger, but ds is much faster - it's a pretty even match.) I do not allow it in the house, though, because there isn't enough room for them to do so without breaking something (or getting on my nerves.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DianeW88 Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 I'm reading about about raising boys: "Wild Things: The Art of Nurturing Boys", and the authors point out that boys will get a build-up of testosterone in their hypothalamus that demands release. Boys do this through physical activity....namely wrestling. In fact, the one author says that whenever he leaves a group of boys this age alone with each other....they inevitably start wrestling. The solution? Don't try to fight it...provide a safe place where they can be boys. It's what they do. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hillary in KS Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 I haven't read all the other replies, but as a mom of 3 boys (and as the wife of a former boy :D) I would say this sounds normal. Have them take the rough-housing outside and let them go. They have LOTS of energy and need to release it. Arm them with squirt guns or purchase shields and swords. Lightsabers are HUGE at our house! have fun! :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pqr Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 Sounds like they are healthy happy boys, I see no issue. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pqr Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 I am not understanding the problem. This is what boys are supposed to do. Bill When Spy Car and I agree on something then you have the planets in rare alignment OR it is a "no brainer".. Be glad that they are behaving like boys are supposed to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hillary in KS Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 When Spy Car and I agree on something then you have the planets in rare alignment OR it is a "no brainer".. Be glad that they are behaving like boys are supposed to. :lol::lol::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rieshy Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 I have 4 boys- 19,9,5,3. the 5 yo is chronically ill and has muscle strength issues. All the boys wrestle together anyway, pretty constantly. They know how to be just a bit gentler with the 5 yo and he's figured out how to use his length and flexibility to make up for his strength issues. I consider it free physical therapy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eewaggie99 Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 I'll echo all the other posters. I have one boy, but lots of neighborhood kids come over. "Take it outside" is my rule because I can't stand having it in the house but otherwise, wrestle away. I do have the 4 B's though which ends all play: Boo-hooing: If it hurts bad enough that you come crying to me, playtime's over (this includes tattle telling) Bleeding Broken Bones Not Breathing I've never had issues with bleeding, breathing, or bones, but I throw them in for good measure so the kids know to come get me if anything happens. It's also a reminder to not be too rough with each other. I've ended playtimes when there was too much crying! Usually it means the kids are tired and need to go home anyways. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginevra Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 Hi...and wait a sec...you have 6 year old triplets and 3 year old twins and a whole slew of other children? Some people have all the luck! Can I have a couple? Pretty please? The girls, preferably? :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katherine A. Posted June 25, 2011 Author Share Posted June 25, 2011 Hi...and wait a sec...you have 6 year old triplets and 3 year old twins and a whole slew of other children? Some people have all the luck! Can I have a couple? Pretty please? The girls, preferably? :D :lol::lol::lol: I have and 18yod, 16 yod, 15yos, 14yod, 11yos, 9yod, 7yos, The 6yo indentical boy triplets , and 3 yo indentical twin girls. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kolamum Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 The old saying comes to mind.. boys will be boys. However, no matter how boyish the behavior is there are always rules, right? In our house we have wrestling rules because nothing drives me more insane then kids wrestling and then screaming, "Mom, get him off me!" or "Mom, I got hurt." or... There is also never wrestling with friends allowed. End.Of.Story. My 8 year old doesn't understand his own strength and has an extremely high pain tolerance level. As in, cut his leg wide open and wasn't crying from pain. He only cried when I called 000 for an ambo. He presumed if I'd resorted to an emergency number he was officially dying. So I do not permit wrestling with friends. Mind you, most of their friends don't mind having a quick tussle, but we try to nip it in the bum. I'm all for boys doing normal boy things, especially things that don't involve electricity, but I'm also not into ER visits. ;) I'd simply come up with some very firm rules and guidelines. Things like, "You can only wrestle in.." "You can only wrestle after making sure the other person agrees." "You must never wrestle when I say, "not now" or, "stop"." "You must never wrestle you baby sister" "Never wrestle in the pool or you'll be banned" etc. If the rules are broken children are usually sent to different rooms and I lay down a "No more touching for the rest of the day rule". I've only had to do that once or twice though {later ruling}. Not being able to hug each other really did them in. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BakersDozen Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 I have and 18yod, 16 yod, 15yos, 14yod, 11yos, 9yod, 7yos, The 6yo indentical boy triplets , and 3 yo indentical twin girls. lol, have you considered playing the lottery?? The odds of identicals like that (particularly triplets!) are quite amazing! Such fun!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 (an off-topic note to self: reason #235 why I am grateful to have girls. :tongue_smilie:) I'm with you! :001_huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 I am not understanding the problem. This is what boys are supposed to do. Bill Heh, yeah. My dh's father had a bad back, so no wrestling at home. His extended family is in England, so no wrestling with cousins or uncles either. Now he's being taught by a great teacher, his two year old son :D I just want ds to learn that dads wrestle and mammas don't so I can stop having to. :lol: Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terabith Posted June 28, 2011 Share Posted June 28, 2011 I on the other hand took a break between working on some cool logic and algebra problems with my son this morning to work on how to form a proper fist, the need to keep the back of ones hand in proper alignment with the wrist and fore-arm, and how to throw a proper punch without breaking ones fingers. Now we are off to the park to play a little hand-ball and rugby :D Boys! Bill I want Bill to open a school that my children (and I) can go to! This sounds like a great combination of activities! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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