If you had a 6 year old that....

[lovinmomma]

started crying every time it was school time or throwing a fit....

 

Would you...

 

1) Perservere, but try to assess if maybe the content is over the child's head.

 

2) Put away school for a while since the child is only 6.

 

3) Other (Please explain)

 

For what it's worth, my personal opinion is that the content is not over her head. She's just not wanting to do work regularly, but she's only 6 so I don't want to kill her love of learning. I'm torn betwen her needing to learn how to stick with it even when you don't want to do something and feeling like I should put it away for awhile so that I don't burn her out. We do 1 page of math per day (sometimes the back of the sheet, too) and about 15 mins. of spelling. Other than that she reads to me for about 15 mins. at night.

[lovinmomma]

P.S. I'm kinda sad because she told me she doesn't want me to be her teacher and she wants to go to "real school". :(

[KrissiK]

What is it about school that she doesn't like? I would think that at 6 years old she should be willing to do some things. Is she sad that her friends are at public school? Do you have a homeschool group that you can be part of where she could make friends? I guess I'm thinking it would be good to get to the bottom of why she's not wanting to do school. My boys don't like school all that much (well, they love science and history, but that's about it), but they do it without too much coersion and they're 7 & 8 years old. There's never been any tears.

[kristinannie]

Did she go to public school last year? Maybe she is just in revolt. I heard similar things from DS5 when we told him we were going to homeschool. I was firm and we did the work. I explained to him that I was his teacher (he did not take anything negative well). He was in pre-K last year. I said, "Would you throw a fit if Ms. Buffy told you that you needed to write a 9 in a different way?" He said no and seemed to have a lightbulb moment. If it is behavioral, I would suggest sticking with it and letting her know that you are in charge of school. If it is a revolt because of leaving PS, I would maybe spend some time doing a really fun unit study or something else that she wouldn't get to do in PS. Is she upset because it is summer and she is in school? I would explain that she will get time off when her friends are in school. I will pray for you. I know how hard the transition can be. Best of luck! :grouphug:

[justamouse]

:grouphug:

 

They all say that. OK, many. It's the bazooka. They pull it out when they really want to do some damage.

 

How long are your lessons?

[lovinmomma]

What is it about school that she doesn't like? I would think that at 6 years old she should be willing to do some things. Is she sad that her friends are at public school? Do you have a homeschool group that you can be part of where she could make friends? I guess I'm thinking it would be good to get to the bottom of why she's not wanting to do school. My boys don't like school all that much (well, they love science and history, but that's about it), but they do it without too much coersion and they're 7 & 8 years old. There's never been any tears.

 

Her cousins and quite a few of her friends are homeschooled. I don't think it's that. When I asked her what she doesn't like about school she said "writing my words" (spelling) which is interesting because right before that she was throwing a fit about math. So, who knows?

 

Did she go to public school last year? Maybe she is just in revolt. I heard similar things from DS5 when we told him we were going to homeschool. I was firm and we did the work. I explained to him that I was his teacher (he did not take anything negative well). He was in pre-K last year. I said, "Would you throw a fit if Ms. Buffy told you that you needed to write a 9 in a different way?" He said no and seemed to have a lightbulb moment. If it is behavioral, I would suggest sticking with it and letting her know that you are in charge of school. If it is a revolt because of leaving PS, I would maybe spend some time doing a really fun unit study or something else that she wouldn't get to do in PS. Is she upset because it is summer and she is in school? I would explain that she will get time off when her friends are in school. I will pray for you. I know how hard the transition can be. Best of luck! :grouphug:

 

Thank you for the prayers! No, she didn't go to public school. I intentionally didn't send her because I knew it would be a fight if I did. LOL

[lovinmomma]

:grouphug:

 

They all say that. OK, many. It's the bazooka. They pull it out when they really want to do some damage.

 

How long are your lessons?

 

No more than an hour a day. We've only been doing school since Jan, too.

[janainaz]

My ds11 used to do that years ago when we first started school.

 

Don't feed into it. Be matter of fact and calm, and don't get emotional.

I created a lot of problems by talking to him, reasoning with him, asking him what was upsetting him, etc. It makes it worse.

 

It does not sound at all like you are doing too much. This is just something kids do. As soon as I just told my son that we needed to get our work done, and then we could play (and I did not get emotional about it) his attitude changed. If he wanted to cry, he had to go in his room. They need to learn early on that school has to get done.

 

I have a ds6.5, and we do some school and then play a short game. We break up our day and I'm much more relaxed. I praise him a LOT for what he does. I let him choose what he wants to do first. My son will often bring me our school books and ask to get his work done early so that we have more time to play. He's got it all figured out!

[justamouse]

No more than an hour a day. We've only been doing school since Jan, too.

 

Treat it like any other tantrum them, step over it and get the papers out. ;)

 

The act of writing at that age is hard work, it's not fluid yet. Is she actually writing for the hour? Is it a spelling list?

 

Have you tried one small sentence of copywork?

[MerryAtHope]

Her cousins and quite a few of her friends are homeschooled. I don't think it's that. When I asked her what she doesn't like about school she said "writing my words" (spelling) which is interesting because right before that she was throwing a fit about math. So, who knows?

 

 

 

Thank you for the prayers! No, she didn't go to public school. I intentionally didn't send her because I knew it would be a fight if I did. LOL

 

Maybe AAS 2 is a bit much for her right now. I'd slow it down, just do tile work for awhile, maybe only 10 minute lessons since she's kind of ahead anyway, or take a break for a few weeks & then go back to it with mainly tiles and less writing for a time. I don't break for the whole summer, but I do take several weeks off (enough to be a break, not so much that they forget it all!).

 

You could also change up how she writes when you start back--colored markers, on a white board, with sidewalk chalk outside, with her finger in sand or cornmeal or a shaving-cream bag...here are some ideas for Spelling Activities and Tactile activities to change things up. Let her have fun with it!

 

You might be able to do some math this way too. (Actually for 1st grade math, I let my dd play with manipulatives every other day and did a lot of scribing for her when it came to writing the numbers down. Not sure if your 6 yo is 1st grade, but she may just not have a lot of hand strength yet & may not be quite ready for the structure).

 

Merry :-)

[Embassy]

I would consider what she does like to do. I don't know, but if you can figure out what fills her tank maybe you can approach learning from that perspective. For instance, if she loves dogs you can do math, reading, and spelling related to dogs. Then you can gradually add in more structure.

[Ellie]

started crying every time it was school time or throwing a fit....

 

Would you...

 

1) Perservere, but try to assess if maybe the content is over the child's head.

 

2) Put away school for a while since the child is only 6.

 

3) Other (Please explain)

 

For what it's worth, my personal opinion is that the content is not over her head. She's just not wanting to do work regularly, but she's only 6 so I don't want to kill her love of learning. I'm torn betwen her needing to learn how to stick with it even when you don't want to do something and feeling like I should put it away for awhile so that I don't burn her out. We do 1 page of math per day (sometimes the back of the sheet, too) and about 15 mins. of spelling. Other than that she reads to me for about 15 mins. at night.

I think you're putting too much emphasis on her needing to learn how to stick to with it.

 

She's just 6. I'm thinking you should take the break and evaluate what you're doing with her, because yes, if she starts to cry every.single.time you start with the school work, there's something wrong.

[janainaz]

I think you're putting too much emphasis on her needing to learn how to stick to with it.

 

She's just 6. I'm thinking you should take the break and evaluate what you're doing with her, because yes, if she starts to cry every.single.time you start with the school work, there's something wrong.

 

 

I disagree. My son cried a lot in first grade and there was not a thing wrong with him, or with what we were doing. It was funny that it stopped when I stopped giving in to it. Like someone else said, I handled that just like any other tantrum or thing he didn't want to do. He changed his tune practically overnight.

[justamouse]

I think you're putting too much emphasis on her needing to learn how to stick to with it.

 

She's just 6. I'm thinking you should take the break and evaluate what you're doing with her, because yes, if she starts to cry every.single.time you start with the school work, there's something wrong.

 

I normally would agree with you, but if she's doing words already?

 

But, she just might be burnt out, though because if she IS doing words then she's been at this a while now, no?

[Ellie]

I disagree. My son cried a lot in first grade and there was not a thing wrong with him, or with what we were doing. It was funny that it stopped when I stopped giving in to it. Like someone else said, I handled that just like any other tantrum or thing he didn't want to do. He changed his tune practically overnight.

Well, I'm glad it worked for you. I just know that if *my* dds had behaved that way, it would have been because we were doing something that really was not right for them, or that we were burned out. It would not have been a discipline issue, and I would not have treated it that way.

[WiseOwlKnits]

I would take another look at the materials I was using to see if they're not a good fit for your DD.

 

When my DD was in K, she threw a fit every day over spelling. She'd bawl. She'd purposely get in trouble so she could go to time out and delay the start of spelling. We were using AAS and I switched to Sequential Spelling. The crying and fits stopped as soon as we switched. Turns out that it was just NOT a good fit for her.

 

So that's my 2 cents.

[veggiegal]

I haven't had quite this issue with my boys, but there have been times they have not liked what we were doing and been less than cooperative. This happened recently with my 6 year old, and he finally told me he did not like the phonics books he was reading along with (they were an audio book series on CD). My tack has been to say "Ok; you need to learn to read (write, spell, add, etc.), but we don't have to do it this way. Is there a different way you can think of that you'd like to practice reading (writing, spelling, math, etc.)?" From this I've been able to adapt what we are doing, or find materials that better suited them, etc. I have also been very surprised at how some small changes have pleased them--practice printing on a whiteboard instead of pencil-and-paper; yelling out math fact answers while jumping on the rebounder instead of 'sitting at the table' flashcard drill; reading in turn, one book my choice, one book theirs, etc.

 

The other thing I was wondering is what time of day you were working with your daughter? I know here things go a lot smoother first thing in the morning; we've done our best work by 10:30am when we break for

'gym' and a snack.

[janainaz]

Well, I'm glad it worked for you. I just know that if *my* dds had behaved that way, it would have been because we were doing something that really was not right for them, or that we were burned out. It would not have been a discipline issue, and I would not have treated it that way.

 

Actually, initially, I didn't treat it as a discipline issue. I handled it all wrong, and made the situation worse. My son was a really good kid, and an easy kid. He was well ahead of the game when he started doing some actual school work, and I did not bombard him. What works for one mom may not work for another. My dh gave me excellent advice - *I* just needed to stop being so emotional about it. It's a weakness that many moms have. We second-guess everything and it is OFTEN nothing more than drama. Sometimes not, but it's surely something to consider.

 

The OP mentioned they did some math and a little spelling, and reading at bedtime. So I would really question the tears, in a gentle way.

Edited June 24, 2011 by janainaz

[ByGrace3]

what about a compromise? My dd is pretty compliant, but we have had moments where I am concerned about her ummm lack of enthusiasm ;) for anything school related. We took a 2 1/2 week break end of May to June with the intention of starting back up just phonics and math lightly for the summer. The first day back she complained A LOT. I dealt with the complaining issue, and tacked on 10 extra minutes of schoolwork, but then afterwards, I re-evaluated. One of my most important educational goals at this point is the love of learning. So while I made her plug through that day (or hour) ;), the next day we shelved everything. We went to the library, picked fun books for me to read to her, and some books for her to read. She hasn't complained about math so we do some here or there, but other than that, we are just reading for now. It is summer time. We can get back to phonics instruction later. Now, if this was continual, I would deal with it differently, but if it is a new thing, she might just need something "different." You know your child, whether it is behavioral, manipulative, laziness, or she is just burned out. Reevaluate what you are doing and if there is anyway to change it up a little...or maybe just keep plugging along :)

[Aloha2U]

Don't feed into it. Be matter of fact and calm, and don't get emotional.

I created a lot of problems by talking to him, reasoning with him, asking him what was upsetting him, etc. It makes it worse.

 

It does not sound at all like you are doing too much. This is just something kids do. As soon as I just told my son that we needed to get our work done, and then we could play (and I did not get emotional about it) his attitude changed. If he wanted to cry, he had to go in his room. They need to learn early on that school has to get done.

 

I have a ds6.5, and we do some school and then play a short game. We break up our day and I'm much more relaxed. I praise him a LOT for what he does. I let him choose what he wants to do first. My son will often bring me our school books and ask to get his work done early so that we have more time to play. He's got it all figured out!

 

:iagree: These are my thoughts as well.

[sagira]

My ds7 actually goes "Yay" when there's no school and counts the days until the weekend. Ask him which subjects he likes, though, and he'll say History and Math. This is the kid that right now doesn't want to do things that take effort. I think he's learning, though, and realizing how useful schooling is. He just needs more time. I would change things up, but only to a certain extent. Spelling doesn't have to be done at the table. She can do it lying down on the carpet. Or sitting on the couch.

[Spy Car]

OK, you know what we're going to do now? Wind-sprints!

 

You run as fast as you can to that [fill in the blank] and back and I'll time you!

 

Ready? Go!!!

 

Go, go, go.....all right...64 seconds. Not bad! Let's see if you can beat it next time you slowed down there a little at the end.

 

Ready?! Go!

 

Come on buddy...faster, faster...you got it...61 seconds...better! You almost broke 60 seconds. Not bad, just keep plugging and I think you can break 60.

 

OK, Ready? Go!

 

Whoo Hoo, you're really moving, push it, push it...59.4...you did it!!! Hurray, you broke 60. Let's go for 2 in a row!

 

Ready? Go!

 

You're running like the wind...go...go...go!

 

58.4 seconds, a new record!!!

 

Very well done, that's outstanding! Great effort!!! So, do you want to go for three in a row under 60, or would you rather go inside an work on spelling? :D

 

Bill

[janainaz]

OK, you know what we're going to do now? Wind-sprints!

 

You run as fast as you can to that [fill in the blank] and back and I'll time you!

 

Ready? Go!!!

 

Go, go, go.....all right...64 seconds. Not bad! Let's see if you can beat it next time you slowed down there a little at the end.

 

Ready?! Go!

 

Come on buddy...faster, faster...you got it...61 seconds...better! You almost broke 60 seconds. Not bad, just keep plugging and I think you can break 60.

 

OK, Ready? Go!

 

Whoo Hoo, you're really moving, push it, push it...59.4...you did it!!! Hurray, you broke 60. Let's go for 2 in a row!

 

Ready? Go!

 

You're running like the wind...go...go...go!

 

58.4 seconds, a new record!!!

 

Very well done, that's outstanding! Great effort!!! So, do you want to go for three in a row under 60, or would you rather go inside an work on spelling? :D

 

Bill

 

I've got the one child on the planet that would much rather stay outside and do that - he could go all day long!

[Spy Car]

I've got the one child on the planet that would much rather stay outside and do that - he could go all day long!

 

We would see ;)

 

OK this time buddy instead of [fill in the blank] let's kick it up a notch and have you sprint down to the [other thing] and back! OK? Yea, I'll still be able to see you, I promise.

 

OK, ready?

 

Bill :D

[janainaz]

We would see ;)

 

OK this time buddy instead of [fill in the blank] let's kick it up a notch and have you sprint down to the [other thing] and back! OK? Yea, I'll still be able to see you, I promise.

 

OK, ready?

 

Bill :D

 

:lol: The AZ heat works in my favor this time of year. "You can do spelling, or you can go outside and play."

[NanceXToo]

You might consider a few things:

 

1. You could start doing the assignments in different ways that she might consider fun... if you want her to write spelling words and the thought makes her miserable, can she: Draw them in the dirt with a stick? Write them on the sidewalk using chalk? Use a blackboard or whiteboard? Turn it into a craft, like making a paper plate and crepe paper windsock and writing a word on each streamer? Draw it with her finger in a tray of salt? Write them on the tub walls with bathtub crayons? Etc.

 

2. You could drop the formal things she's hating and go with an interest-led education for now since she's still pretty young (around here compulsory school age doesn't even start until age 8, and there's a school of thought that says it's better to wait until then anyway... have you read "Better Late Than Early" by the Moores? Even if you don't fully proscribe to that method, it might offer some perspective; I found it to be an interesting book).

 

3. You could bribe her. Instead of doing one hour straight through, set a timer. Tell her you'll work in 15 (or 10 or 5 or whatever works) minute intervals and as each timer goes off, you'll take a break to do something fun- maybe one round of hide and seek and then back to work and then another round if she does well, etc. Or tell her she can give you spelling words. Just something that turns it into more of an upbeat game kind of thing.

 

I agree with the person who said I wouldn't see it as a discipline issue. She just may not be ready, or you may not be doing things that fit with her personal learning style, and you may just need to find another way or take a break.

[mhaddon]

What are your other children doing while she's working On the subjects she's throwing a fit over? I have a 6 year old like that as well. If he thinks he is missing out on anything it is war getting him to work. We had horrible trouble with math no matter what and it stopped once we switched programs and he then started bringing me the book to work on. With writing we ran into a wall with crying and we sat it aside a few weeks, I caught him in the classroom one day copying sentences for fun. So we've had to try a few different oPtions to get him going. He is my cry baby whiner by nature so each day is always exciting. I'm trying to teach him now it does not work, but I feel at sOme point it is something worth getting to the bottom of. Best of luck from sOmEone in a similar situation many days.

[kolamum]

Well, I'd let it go for now. But when she wants to know something I'd sneak in a living book about it. In fact I'd probably just do a read aloud that was a good living book each day anyway. ;)

 

When one of mine turned 5 {suppose to start school here at that age} he wasn't at all interested in it. I didn't push it. When we hit the library I encouraged good books.. "Oh look honey this is about a lion you LOVE lions, shall we get it?" I can call it science. ;) If we checked out Africa to see if we could visit there today or not we called it geography. Kwim?

 

If he wanted to be outside playing we went on color scavenger hunts or alphabet scavenger hunts or we just investigated. Sometimes we made paper boats and floated them in the pond. Sometimes we gardened instead. It all evens out in the end.

 

My theory was late is better, I never intended to start my children at the age of 5 so we took it VERY easy. He all ready knew his alphabet and he knew how to count. That's about the gist of what they would have taught him had I sent him to school.

 

So yeah, if it were me I'd let it go. I'd read good books when she wanted a cuddle and a read or at bedtime and let it go. :)

[JudoMom]

I would treat this just like you would treat this behavior any other time. It sounds to me like she just doesn't want to stop playing and do the work. I would simply be matter of fact--we're doing X, when we're finished you can do Y. If you keep throwing a fit, you will [insert consequence here] and then we will resume. No negotiating, no engaging.

 

She's the oldest, right? I found that getting my oldest to realize that school wasn't optional--and that no, doing the work would not actually kill him--was very difficult. The good news is that every other child just expected to do work when they turned 5 (this is the age when I required them to sit for a few minutes and work) because they saw the oldest child doing it, so it wasn't a massive daily battle.

 

For us, the first year or so is as much about learning how to sit and work on something we might not want to work on as it is about academics.

 

:grouphug:--it can be hard, that's for sure.

[2squared]

We do 1 page of math per day (sometimes the back of the sheet, too) and about 15 mins. of spelling. Other than that she reads to me for about 15 mins. at night.

 

Writing is was very difficult for my 6yo first grader last year. Math worksheets + handwriting was too much. Perhaps your dd is struggling with the writing and not the content or desire?

[TracyP]

My ds11 used to do that years ago when we first started school.

 

Don't feed into it. Be matter of fact and calm, and don't get emotional.

I created a lot of problems by talking to him, reasoning with him, asking him what was upsetting him, etc. It makes it worse.

 

It does not sound at all like you are doing too much. This is just something kids do. As soon as I just told my son that we needed to get our work done, and then we could play (and I did not get emotional about it) his attitude changed. If he wanted to cry, he had to go in his room. They need to learn early on that school has to get done.

 

I have a ds6.5, and we do some school and then play a short game. We break up our day and I'm much more relaxed. I praise him a LOT for what he does. I let him choose what he wants to do first. My son will often bring me our school books and ask to get his work done early so that we have more time to play. He's got it all figured out!

 

:iagree: We have been trying to keep up with some math and reading for "summer school". Since we are out of our routine, getting them to sit for anything schoolish is like pulling teeth. I am guessing that your child is crying because it works - not because dc is frustrated.

 

If you try this for a week or two (or have already been doing this) then I would consider some curric changes or a complete break to figure out the issue.

[SeekingSimplicity]

P.S. I'm kinda sad because she told me she doesn't want me to be her teacher and she wants to go to "real school". :(

 

I went thru that with my oldest in 1st after she went to K in ps. We unschooled for 2 years. Maybe it was 3? I lost track. Anyhow, I had curriculum there, used it loosely as a guide, but let her follow her own interest. She spent a really long time studying the colonial era and reading American girl books.

[woolybear]

Hmmm...it's interesting to read all the different responses here. I do think 6 is young, particularly for anything involving writing. I think I would back off on the amount of spelling (continuing it, but less) but more to the point I would keep the routine of a school time. At that age, we called it "Mommy time" (meaning for this chunk of time you follow my ideas). Then I would have a routine of story, light spelling, craft, and game. Or something like that. You can start to incorporate more schooly things as you go. My boys loved spelling bees. I can only imagine they would've hated a spelling program at that age, but that my be different than others. Also maybe consider going the route of something like Wee Folk Art. http://weefolkart.com/content/homeschool-companion-guides

[Down_the_Rabbit_Hole]

I haven't read all the post so I'm sorry if this is a repeat of others comments.

 

My 6 yr old is just hitting the "not wanting to do school" phase. Sadly this year she needs to do it and the option of just doing school when she wants is gone. We have in the past and will this year only school in 10-15 minute spurts, with math being the exception. She comes to the table, does a subject or two and then plays for the rest of the hour. I also make sure we don't do everything at the table, there is lots of snuggle time on the couch or outdoor swing. Another thing I do is make sure any subject that requires her to write is followed by a non-writing subject, or one I can be a scribe for.

[Julie Smith]

We would see ;)

 

OK this time buddy instead of [fill in the blank] let's kick it up a notch and have you sprint down to the [other thing] and back! OK? Yea, I'll still be able to see you, I promise.

 

OK, ready?

 

Bill :D

 

I could see doing this for a very long time with my newly turned seven year old. He just ran 3k in 18 minutes and 26 seconds.

[ALove]

I have a six year old ds who just finished first grade and man, does this ever sound familiar!

A few thoughts...

A. You are the parent and you know best whether this is a discipline issue or an issue of maturity for her. Your gut says discipline so don't second guess that.

B. My son hit this phase in about Feb. and it lasted until April. Since he's the oldest I think that he thought that this school thing was going to fade as his interest faded. For the most part we plowed through but I did back off on a couple of the hardest subjects. For him it was math so we just did every other problem for a couple months.

C. I used that time to evaluate the math curriculum we were using and we have since switched. It made a huge difference. He doesn't mind math AT ALL now.

D. The other thing we did was to simplify the environment for math. I would do it while DH was still home in the morning and we would go all the way to the attic, just the two of us and spend almost twice as long. This gave him special time with me and took the pressure off to "get it done" when all the littles are clamoring for my attention. We tried at nap time but the child's brain turns off at 1:00, I swear!

E. The rest of his griping about school was just frustration at not being able to spend ALL morning building train tracks or dinosaur worlds. Generally when we started to get into the subject (science or history or phonics, etc.) he would forget how deprived he was.

I felt confident that I knew the difference between a real struggle and the grousing and identified it and treated it accordingly. I'm sure that you can distinguish it too...just go with your gut, be kind, be firm and persevere. She'll learn that from you!

[Dmmetler]

Does she know kids who are on summer break right now? My 6 yr old generally likes homeschooling, but about the time schools started letting out, I got a LOT of resistance and fussing, which was when DH and I decided to let her do basic skills practice over the summer around our travels, go to a few weeks of gymnastics camp, and start fresh after the break. Yes, we'll probably have to go backwards a bit, which I'd wanted to avoid by working year-round, but I think she needed something different-and so did I.

[abbeyej]

My ds11 used to do that years ago when we first started school.

 

Don't feed into it. Be matter of fact and calm, and don't get emotional.

I created a lot of problems by talking to him, reasoning with him, asking him what was upsetting him, etc. It makes it worse.

 

It does not sound at all like you are doing too much. This is just something kids do. As soon as I just told my son that we needed to get our work done, and then we could play (and I did not get emotional about it) his attitude changed. If he wanted to cry, he had to go in his room. They need to learn early on that school has to get done.

 

I have a ds6.5, and we do some school and then play a short game. We break up our day and I'm much more relaxed. I praise him a LOT for what he does. I let him choose what he wants to do first. My son will often bring me our school books and ask to get his work done early so that we have more time to play. He's got it all figured out!

 

I agree with this 100%. There are some cases in which a parent might be demanding too much (in terms of hours or level of work), but it doesn't sound like you are. If your expectations are appropriate, then you just need to be calm and consistent. If she cries, send her to her bed or the stairs or some place boring and out of the way. When she's ready to cooperate and work with a good attitude, she can come back, and as soon as she's done, she's free.

 

Now, I do think the summer thing *might* be an issue. If her friends are out of school, that could make it hard. Especially if she's missing out on any fun activities with them because of schooling in summer. If you think *summer* is the issue, you might handle it differently.

 

But for the most part, just be calm and consistent. You wouldn't allow wailing in the classroom. (And once you'd determined that the teacher wasn't wantonly cruel), you'd expect her to do her work with a good attitude. The same is true at home. With the difference that when she finishes her work at home, she's free -- she doesn't have to wait 'til 2pm. ;)

[Ritsumei]

You might consider a few things:

 

1. You could start doing the assignments in different ways that she might consider fun... if you want her to write spelling words and the thought makes her miserable, can she: Draw them in the dirt with a stick? Write them on the sidewalk using chalk? Use a blackboard or whiteboard? Turn it into a craft, like making a paper plate and crepe paper windsock and writing a word on each streamer? Draw it with her finger in a tray of salt? Write them on the tub walls with bathtub crayons? Etc.

 

2. You could drop the formal things she's hating and go with an interest-led education for now since she's still pretty young (around here compulsory school age doesn't even start until age 8, and there's a school of thought that says it's better to wait until then anyway... have you read "Better Late Than Early" by the Moores? Even if you don't fully proscribe to that method, it might offer some perspective; I found it to be an interesting book).

 

3. You could bribe her. Instead of doing one hour straight through, set a timer. Tell her you'll work in 15 (or 10 or 5 or whatever works) minute intervals and as each timer goes off, you'll take a break to do something fun- maybe one round of hide and seek and then back to work and then another round if she does well, etc. Or tell her she can give you spelling words. Just something that turns it into more of an upbeat game kind of thing.

 

I agree with the person who said I wouldn't see it as a discipline issue. She just may not be ready, or you may not be doing things that fit with her personal learning style, and you may just need to find another way or take a break.

 

1. :iagree:The ideas in TWTM for narration, where Mom starts out writing, and the child does more and more as they go along work well in other subjects too. I scribe for all sorts of things, because Monkey is ready for all sorts of concepts, but still has cute pudgy fingers that struggle to write very much. But he *loves* the marker board. And I'll bet he'd love doing stuff on the bathtub walls too. Hadn't thought of that. :tongue_smilie:

 

2. I'm terribly skeptical about the "better late than early" theories, myself.

 

3. This isn't bribing. Bribing is paying for bad behavior. "If you will calm down you can have ____" at the grocery store, but everyone, especially the child, knows that whatever they do they'll still get _____. Nance is actually suggesting paying your child for doing something that is important to you, but not to her, and I heartily second the suggestion. When I have done this at my house I find that the payments don't usually last for very long: a habit gets formed and the payments fall away after a short time. Except for haircuts, lol. Monkey HATES 'em.

[gracyomalley]

My almost 7 year old can wail when faced with something difficult - whether it be school, tying his shoes, violin, cleaning his room, etc....If he doesn't want to try to figure it out "Its too hard, I CAN'T DO IT", etc. Same kid knows his multiplication tables, so "too hard" is all in the eyes of the beholder. He truely sometimes "thinks" he can't - and mostly doesn't want to....

 

The plan of "if you need to cry go to your room, I'll help you finish your work when you are ready", along with making sure he's not overtired, hungry, etc...usually eventually works. Although I would much prefer to just give up and let him play more, I don't really think that's right for him - he can do the work, he's very smart, he's got the writing and listening skills, and loves to learn. He is anxious to play the songs his siblings can, to read the books they read, and is actually the best at cleaning his room - he just doesn't WANT to work hard at that momment!!!

 

If I let them "give up" whenever something got hard, I'd be setting them up to fail. I certainly don't think 1-2 hours of "school" at 6 is too much, and especially in the one on one setting of homeschooling. I would make sure that the child is matched to the curriculum to a certain extent - and make sure that schoolwork is like the rest of being a kid...sometimes lots of fun, sometimes lots of work, but with clear boundaries of what is expected.

 

It helps that my wailer is my youngest - he sees the others with MORE work than him - he knows both what is expected and also that with perserverance he'll meet some goals. Does your child see the point of hard work with school work? Can you point out goals already met? Music practice and sports have been key for us in the "if you work really hard look what you can do" area!

Erin

[MeganW]

Do you have "fun" things built in? My kids were sad about not going to "real school" as well, but the things they were sad about were things that I could address.

 

- "We won't have a theme like Miss Katherine had frogs!" We now have a theme - "Mommy's Marvelous Mini Monsters" - I found a calendar and all the related stuff that was monster themed.

 

- "We won't be able to be the line leader or helpers!" I now have a little monster dressed in a chef hat, a laundry monster, a meterologist monster, and a "KP" (kitchen patrol/cleanup) monster.

 

- "But I want a lunchbox!" We have lunchboxes, and have Lunch Bunch with other kids every other week or so at the park.

 

- "There isn't a goldfish/gerbil at home!" Well, I haven't addressed that. I told them we might get one, and am hoping they will forget!

 

We also try to break up school as much as possible. We do readalouds while they are eating (at the kitchen table). Then we move to the rug for our "Morning Meeting".

 

At the end of that, we have a "dance party". (I try to find a new dance on Youtube each week - currently it is the Tooty Ta. Totally annoying, but they think it is HILARIOUS!) We do stretches, then we have a 10 minute break for drink filling, going to the bathroom, etc.

 

Then we sit back on the rug for OPGTR, then move back to the table for history readalouds while they do playdough (aka hand warmup). Then handwriting, then back to the rug for math.

 

So I guess my LOOONG question for you is - are you expecting her to sit still in one spot for the whole time? If so, can you get up and move more?

Edited June 24, 2011 by MeganW

[TxMama]

I think you're putting too much emphasis on her needing to learn how to stick to with it.

 

She's just 6. I'm thinking you should take the break and evaluate what you're doing with her, because yes, if she starts to cry every.single.time you start with the school work, there's something wrong.

:iagree:

 

I have found that the most important skill to learn in the early years is good habits. If she is crying every.single. time. then it's time to re-evaluate.

 

I would take a break for a couple of weeks. During the time that you normally do school, do some fun things. Keep the routine but drop the content....even the content that you know she can do. Play some games, play with the AAS tiles, read, etc. Do lots of easy review during this time.

 

I would keep the routine because you want her to know that school is something she has to do. If she is still balking about schooltime during this decompressing time then push through, but try to make it easy enough that she doesn't balk!

 

Once you have the routine going without tears start adding your curricula. Add in one subject back at a time. If you hit a wall with a particular curricula then back off just a smidge. If writing the words in AAS 2 brings tears, back off and plan on reviewing previous content, or doing the lessons without writing, or have her only write 1 word per day.

 

She may be able to do the content, but it may be just a little too challenging for a 6yo. It is possible that if you back off just a little bit and give her some time to mature then the tears will stop. It will not be detrimental for her long term academic success if a 6 yo backs off a bit from the level that you currently have her working.

 

Note, I'm not saying let her decide when or if she does school. I'm not saying drop content and do games for an extended period of time. I'm not saying make it all fun and games.

 

Give yourself some time to decompress while keeping the routine of school. Reassess each curricula individually to see if you need to review content, teach at a slightly lower level, or find an another way to do the work. Realize that she is 6 and may just need a little more time to mature.

 

Best of luck, mama!

[RoundAbout]

Take this with a grain of salt since I only have a pre-Ker but I've found the order I present things makes a *huge* difference. We do workboxes and box #1 is always something flashy and fun (but substantial) like a math game involving C-rods and animal figures. Once he gets into "school" mode he'll happily move onto a worksheet or phonics lesson, but I need the hook of that first box to get him into the right frame of mind. If I try to start off with something serious-looking (and I have tried!) I'd be dealing with a lot of negativity too. I also always make sure the last box is fun looking too so he has something to look forward to.

 

If your school work is minimal then you probably have the time to pad it out a bit with some games or crafts. Slip the workbooks in between. It's kind of like that Deceptively Delicious book where they sneak spinach into the brownies :)

 

I also do try to make most things a game including OPGTR. I realize not everyone has the time or energy for that but part of the reason I homeschool is to tailor the lessons to my son's needs and temperament.

[OK Family]

1. Most states do require school at age 6, so I would still require some schoolwork as I say at my house, but keep it simple.

 

2. By simple I mean reading writing and math. My liitle ones love to listen to audio books. There are many, many good free ones available.

That may be a good break from moms voice being the teacher. My 7 1/2 yr old a lot of times throws a fit about doing schoolwork, but mostly because he would rather play.

[Spy Car]

I could see doing this for a very long time with my newly turned seven year old. He just ran 3k in 18 minutes and 26 seconds.

 

Serious question: Does your son do better or worse (or is there no difference) in his behavior and focus when he has had the opportunity to run?

 

Bill

[abbeyej]

Serious question: Does your son do better or worse (or is there no difference) in his behavior and focus when he has had the opportunity to run?

 

Bill

 

I've found the running thing to be even more important as my son approaches adolescence. When he was young, it was just a matter of occasionally "getting the wiggles out". Now, as an older kid, he'll occasionally be overwhelmed with feelings of irritability, and running outside (I just send him out for X number of laps around the house) until he's panting and has worked up a sweat can turn his attitude *completely* around. It's almost like magic.

 

Of course, sometimes food works too.

 

But usually sweat or a sandwich -- once I can reach past the grumpiness to get him to accept either of these -- will completely turn around a bad attitude or a sense of doom.

[Flux]

But usually sweat or a sandwich -- once I can reach past the grumpiness to get him to accept either of these -- will completely turn around a bad attitude or a sense of doom.

 

Can I add a trip to the bathroom to this?:tongue_smilie:

 

For my daughter, we've discovered 90% of her tantrums are because of her trying to ignore or put off a trip to the bathroom. I have found I have to rule out these kinds of things before I can properly assess any given issue we might be having. Besides getting the wiggles out, I have to treat homeschooling as if we are leaving the house for awhile. Food/water/potty...commence.

[Spy Car]

I've found the running thing to be even more important as my son approaches adolescence. When he was young, it was just a matter of occasionally "getting the wiggles out". Now, as an older kid, he'll occasionally be overwhelmed with feelings of irritability, and running outside (I just send him out for X number of laps around the house) until he's panting and has worked up a sweat can turn his attitude *completely* around. It's almost like magic.

 

I think it is under-appreciated how efficacious a run can be.

 

Of course, sometimes food works too.

 

But usually sweat or a sandwich -- once I can reach past the grumpiness to get him to accept either of these -- will completely turn around a bad attitude or a sense of doom.

 

Food AND running is probably a better option than food alone ;)

 

Bill

[Mommy22alyns]

I woud assess what we're using to see if that might be causing a problem. But then I'd do what a lot of other posters suggested - stay calm but the work must get done. When you're done with this, then you can play. Simple as that. The girls are, well, kids, and they do drag their feet from time to time. But they both know it must be done and they don't get to do anything (except for lunch//bathroom) until school work is done.

[Crimson Wife]

Writing is was very difficult for my 6yo first grader last year. Math worksheets + handwriting was too much. Perhaps your dd is struggling with the writing and not the content or desire?

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree:

The programs listed in your siggy seem rather writing-heavy for a 6 y.o. I would try doing AAS using the letter tiles only and skipping the dictation part. MM either allow her to dictate or just shelve it entirely in favor of a more "hands-on" program. TOG I wouldn't even attempt in the primary grades.