What I want...a curriculum that builds *relationship*.

[Blueridge]

I've finally put my finger on what I want for our school year. I want a program that will make my daughters and me closer...make our friendships deeper...make our days more inspiring...make our family more connected. All I find is a sea of programs that promote more and more independence, less and less teacher/mom interaction, to the point that we hardly do anything meaningful together. I want our main program to continue to build relationships between my girls and me and between each of them. Does this exist? Or is this completely outside the realm of what curriculum is supposed to offer?

Edited May 11, 2011 by Blueridge

[kolamum]

Despite promoting independence.. any literature based curriculum is one we do together as a family. We read the books together. We discuss them together. I might have the children work on their notebooks alone, but we school together.

[Jen500]

MCT

This is a great sit-on-the-couch and read together and discuss program. We've had many interesting/funny discussions about the vocabulary words throughout our days.

[Trish]

For us it was MCT. We read the books together on the couch.

[calandalsmom]

I don't think there is a product that can nurture relationship.

 

I think relationship comes first and the product just adds to that.

 

SL bills itself as what you want but in my experience its not magic.;)

[Melinda]

What about KONOS?

[2squared]

Despite promoting independence.. any literature based curriculum is one we do together as a family. We read the books together. We discuss them together. I might have the children work on their notebooks alone, but we school together.

 

:iagree: Our read aloud discussions bring us together and give us a shared framework. Even something as textbooky as Faith & Life spawns wonderful, shared conversations when read aloud.

[home'scoolmom]

What is MCT? :001_huh:

[Rebecca]

This is what I truly love about Heart of Dakota.

 

Rebecca

[kchara]

I don't think there is a product that can nurture relationship.

 

I think relationship comes first and the product just adds to that.

 

SL bills itself as what you want but in my experience its not magic.;)

 

:iagree: I think many, if not most lit based curricula *can* be used as a tool to nurture our relationships with our children, but I don't think that there is one curriculum, in and of itself, that will do that.

[home'scoolmom]

This is what I truly love about Heart of Dakota.

 

Rebecca

 

:iagree:This is what I was thinking too. Although it does promote independence in some things, each guide, even in the upper levels, schedules in daily teaching times with mom that are focused on meaningful things - bible/spiritual discussions, character building, and good books. We do want some independence though...right? :tongue_smilie:

 

I'm curious why SL isn't accomplishing this for you?

[calandalsmom]

:iagree:This is what I was thinking too. Although it does promote independence in some things' date=' each guide, even in the upper levels, schedules in daily teaching times with mom that are focused on meaningful things - bible/spiritual discussions, character building, and good books. We do want some independence though...right? :tongue_smilie:

 

I'm curious why SL isn't accomplishing this for you?[/quote']

 

Bc we did not enjoy the books selected in core 6.

 

Nothing accomplishes forging a relationship FOR you.

 

A relationship is an amorphous multi faceted thing between people. Just sitting around together reading a list of books provided by a company doesn't guarantee it.

[Just Robyn]

I agree with something literature based (Ambleside, SL, etc.). I would also suggest considering something waldorfy (OM, ALGF, Chistopherus, etc.). MCT is great, but it's only one subject, and are the upper levels as great as the lower levels? I remember the writing book looking quite thin for the upper levels.

[Evergreen Academy]

Time together reading good literature, discussing what we've read, and doing Bible study with lots of discussion are things that have helped with that here. I almost ordered one of those "fostering independence" curriculums, and stopped when I realized how much our time reading together means to us all.

 

We have used many curriculums, but I have found that lit-based curriculums, particularly Sonlight or a mix of Sonlight materials, foster this best in our house. The book choices are wonderful, and give lots of opportunities for discussion; many beautiful, character building stories. True, it isn't magic, and if you look at it as a checklist and try to race through all the boxes and check them off, Sonlight can exhaust you (it did me). I look at it more as a menu now, and freely tweak.

 

I read some of the material to the kids during the day, often over lunch, and we have our Bible time together every day. We save a read-aloud for bedtime, and we all gather around while my husband reads. It's a very special time for our family, and it's exposing my husband to literature he never would have picked up as a kid. I think he looks forward to it as much as they do.

 

Another thing you might want to check out is Our 24 Family Ways by the Clarksons. This is a great book, and got us thinking a lot about how we interact as a family and how we live out what we believe every day. We used it regularly during our Bible times last year.

 

We still work on independence in other areas - they do their reading, LA and math with minimal instruction, and my ds13 does a great deal of reading and research beyond the history readings we share. I know they will all eventually move ahead and need less and less interaction, but for now, I appreciate the way we are able to learn and grow together.

[Ellie]

KONOS, for Bible, history, geography, science, arts and crafts, drama, literature; Making Math Meaningful; Understanding Writing. Those three together will keep all of you...together, in the best possible way. :-)

[HappyCamper]

For us MCT (Michael Clay Thompson's Language Arts program) has definitely been a positive relationship builder. First, we do it on the counch together, so it promotes that cozy feeling that is just oh-so-nice. Second, it is a shared joke/frame of reference, that I share with my kids that carries on beyond that time we spend on the couch, e.g. "that sentence's heart is broken Mom!" or "Oopsy-Daisy!" I think the curriculum choices you make can help shape your relationship. If only I could find a cozy, math program. :glare:

[Blueridge]

Thank you for your thoughtful suggestions. I think the motivation behind my question is a mid-life crisis brewing. :tongue_smilie: I'm finding myself less and less necessary. We've always done read-alouds, and they are such an important part of our day. But with each passing year, the curriculum offerings seem more and more academic, more historical/informational/research/fact and less warm fuzzy. I've also done Konos off and on since the beginning, and now it seems like my remaining two daughters are just too old for most of it. :001_unsure: I've looked and looked programs that might promote more dialog, more time shared together, more interesting conversation, but they all seem to be geared at more independent learning and less memory-making. I am sad about that. I must be fighting the passing of time. Even SL stops suggesting read-alouds by high school. So no program that I've pondered really seems to promote togetherness like I wish it would. HOD is lovely, but is separating students with more independent assignments. TOG and MFW have them going toward complete independent learning. Where do I fit in? Yoo hoo, I want to play, too! I'll be looking at MCT today, but I don't know where on earth to place them in it. Maybe I'm expecting too much. Maybe I should write my own.

Edited May 11, 2011 by Blueridge

[calandalsmom]

Thank you for your thoughtful suggestions. I think the motivation behind my question is a mid-life crisis brewing. :tongue_smilie: I'm finding myself less and less necessary. We've always done read-alouds, and they are such an important part of our day. But with each passing year, the curriculum offerings seem more and more academic, more historical/informational/research/fact and less warm fuzzy. I've also done Konos off and on since the beginning, and now it seems like my remaining two daughters are just too old for most of it. :001_unsure: I've looked and looked programs that might promote more dialog, more time shared together, more interesting conversation, but they all seem to be geared at more independent learning and less memory-making. I am sad about that. I must be fighting the passing of time. Even SL stops suggesting read-alouds by high school. So no program that I've pondered really seems to promote togetherness like I wish it would. HOD is lovely, but is separating students with more independent assignments. TOG and MFW have them going toward complete independent learning. Where do I fit in? Yoo hoo, I want to play, too! Maybe I'm expecting too much. Maybe I should write my own.

 

 

I think homeschooling in general can create that bond no matter what program you are using and no matter what age. I don't think homeschooling is a guarantee of a good or close relationship though.

 

I guess as our kids get older maybe a shared interest outside of the academics would be good to have. Like tennis or theater or something.

[daybreaking]

This is what I truly love about Heart of Dakota.

 

Rebecca

 

I couldn't agree more! When I read your post, HOD is what immediately came to mind. It is true that in the older guides, more and more areas are labeled "independent," but Carrie (the writer) said that is only for those who need their older children to be more independent and that any of those areas could, indeed, be done together. This past year was our first full year with HOD and the "together-time" has been priceless to me and full of so many precious memories. I have especially liked HOD's book selections; we have yet to read one that I have regretted reading, nor that my ds hasn't loved!!

[mom&nana]

I'm sorry I really don't have advice, but wanted to say that I completely understand where you are coming from. I just don't get this big independence push. I thought maybe I was the only one who felt that way. I am very involved in my children and their learning and I've chosen programs that have as much teacher interaction as possible. My oldest that I homeschool is 12, the others I'm schooling are still at the K and pre K age. So alot of what I chose would be too young for your kids. But I use BJU math for the little ones and Phonics Road for Language Arts. For my 12 year old I'm using Trail Guide to Learning. It has the parent and child interacting a lot, but I just recently got the next level in the mail (Paths of Settlement) and I noticed that it has the child becoming more independent doing all the reading. I love reading aloud to my children and will continue to do so, no matter what the curriculum says. I'm seriously thinking I'll be making my own in the future as well. I have found that reading aloud and spending this time with my girls has given us lots of opportunity for discussion and I'm not going to give it up. I've used SL and WP in the past and I think they are both good at fostering this.

[Another Lynn]

Thank you for your thoughtful suggestions. I think the motivation behind my question is a mid-life crisis brewing. :tongue_smilie: I'm finding myself less and less necessary. We've always done read-alouds, and they are such an important part of our day. But with each passing year, the curriculum offerings seem more and more academic, more historical/informational/research/fact and less warm fuzzy. I've also done Konos off and on since the beginning, and now it seems like my remaining two daughters are just too old for most of it. :001_unsure: I've looked and looked programs that might promote more dialog, more time shared together, more interesting conversation, but they all seem to be geared at more independent learning and less memory-making. I am sad about that. I must be fighting the passing of time. Even SL stops suggesting read-alouds by high school. So no program that I've pondered really seems to promote togetherness like I wish it would. HOD is lovely, but is separating students with more independent assignments. TOG and MFW have them going toward complete independent learning. Where do I fit in? Yoo hoo, I want to play, too! I'll be looking at MCT today, but I don't know where on earth to place them in it. Maybe I'm expecting too much. Maybe I should write my own.

 

I understand what you're saying. I don't have kids as old as yours, but by default I kept trying to make my oldest more independent. It didn't work so well. It was a tough year (for many reasons), but what salvaged it was when I started reading aloud to him again..... and our discussions came back too.

 

Personally, my struggle is balancing the skills that would come from "more academic, more historical/informational/research/fact" based work vs. more satisfying content driven work. When I try to focus on skills I think we're lacking, I start to lose the other. Some day I'll find the right combination/approach to accomplish both without losing "something." So far I haven't been able to do so to my satisfaction. My other issue is the desire for efficiency gained from reading aloud to everyone at once, vs. wanting to share a read aloud one on one. Sometimes I'm just too overwhelmed to relate to everyone at once, LOL. I suppose this is why sometimes HOD really appeals to me (everyone in a well fitted guide with one-on-one time with me) and sometimes it doesn't (my mind feels pulled in too many different directions).

 

So, no answers here..... just commiseration :)

[Ellie]

I've also done Konos off and on since the beginning, and now it seems like my remaining two daughters are just too old for most of it.

You'd teach to the older and let the younger come along. Your older could still do Vol. 3 for another year; after that there's KONOS's world history.

 

I'm off my game this morning; this is the second time I haven't read someone's siggy. DOH!

[Kfamily]

I have always felt strongly that the real backbone of our approach to school has been Charlotte Mason. I'm not sure if this has anything to do with my particular children(it probably does) but my girls have reponded so well to this style. I do feel that CM has built relationships for each of us. My older dd and I have had some amazing discussions this year over the books we've been reading. She reads books by Tolkien on her own. This has become her own personal passion. She researches, studies, reads and writes to her heart's content with these books. I stay in touch with her just enough to let her share her ideas and excitement and I provide the books she needs. But we read specific books for school. These are challenging for her and are meant to be. I worked hard to make them just challenging enough...not too overwhelming but not meant to read alone. It is because they are challenging that they require me to stay involved. (I have to read them and think about what I want her to take from them or at least find questions that open her up to thinking about the ideas from the book.) I think that picking a curriculum or designing your own should include books that meet both needs. It is more teacher intensive this way, but I think the rewards are amazing. I also think that there are more aspects to CM that promotes a relationship, but I don't want to make this too long!:lol:

[coralloyd]

I was going to say a CM approach also. Have you looked at SCM curriculum guide? http://simplycharlottemason.com/planning/scmguide/ Especially their history guides . http://simplycharlottemason.com/planning/scmguide/history-modules-overview/

Or if you want to do your own thing look at their planning book/DVD http://simplycharlottemason.com/books/planning-your-charlotte-mason-education/. I think it is great that relationship is your priority :grouphug:. Hope you find what you are looking for.

Edited May 11, 2011 by coralloyd

[OK Family]

I read about it on a blog at www.confessionsofahomeschooler.com and tried it a bit myself. Get a spiral notebook and write letters to each other. One day write a letter to her and place it in her room. Then it is her turn to write back and place it in a spot you will find it. My 7 yr old son and I do it some, it has been hectic for us lately, but so cute when we get to it. It would be a good keepsake too.

[DianeW88]

Sorry, I didn't read your kids' ages, but KONOS "Russia in a Bag" is amazing for junior high level. We (me included) learned a ton....together. And, their high school programs are amazing. I've used them with all of my kiddos.

[Oakblossoms]

I have bee feeling this, too. We did a lot of KONOS and interest led learning when they were younger. Plus, tons of sitting around in bed, couches, picnics reading stacks of books together. Now the olders want time by themselves and I am tryingto balance the needs of the youngers. I loved that time with my older two.

 

How about planning time into your week for discussing their latest book? You could go on a date even.

[lovelaughs_times_three]

We use Progeny Press as a spring board for discussion of the book that I'm reading aloud to them, and as a spring board for excellent Bible study! I don't have them do it independently, my kids all take turns answering the questions and having discussions out loud and together. We all feel close as we are reading and dissecting the same book. It's great for promoting deeper discussions, and it goes all the way through Highschool.

[LindaOz]

Thank you for your thoughtful suggestions. I think the motivation behind my question is a mid-life crisis brewing. :tongue_smilie: I'm finding myself less and less necessary. We've always done read-alouds, and they are such an important part of our day. But with each passing year, the curriculum offerings seem more and more academic, more historical/informational/research/fact and less warm fuzzy. I've also done Konos off and on since the beginning, and now it seems like my remaining two daughters are just too old for most of it. :001_unsure: I've looked and looked programs that might promote more dialog, more time shared together, more interesting conversation, but they all seem to be geared at more independent learning and less memory-making. I am sad about that. I must be fighting the passing of time. Even SL stops suggesting read-alouds by high school. So no program that I've pondered really seems to promote togetherness like I wish it would. HOD is lovely, but is separating students with more independent assignments. TOG and MFW have them going toward complete independent learning. Where do I fit in? Yoo hoo, I want to play, too! I'll be looking at MCT today, but I don't know where on earth to place them in it. Maybe I'm expecting too much. Maybe I should write my own.

 

I want this too. Actually, because of the number and ages of my children I want (and need) a balance of the two. We had got to the stage where so much was independent - especially with my older children, but this year I have made some changes so that we have a more relationship/discussion oriented focus to our day. My 3 older children are all doing their own SL Core and I wanted to them to continue that, so we have some specific other resources that we make part of our time toghether. Firstly, I have a read-aloud going for the older kids to enjoy with me. Secondly, we read from Newsademic (http://www.newsademic.com/) which helps me to guide my kids through current events and generates some good discussions. Thirdly, despite the fact that they are doing their own separate history cores, I am reading through the Mystery of History series with them. This is good as we focus on discussion and they bring their own knowledge from their other readings into the mix as well. They still do their independent work as well, but I can work with my younger children while they are doing that, knowing that we will have time together later in the morning.

 

We also have a few things that we ALL do together in the mornings before officially going off to start schoolwork - Bible reading, other reading, poetry, and singing. This puts us all on the same page for a few things too - even my baby is learning to sing along.

 

So, I guess what i'm trying to say is that, even if your curriculum isn't bringing the togetherness you are looking for, other resources can be utilized in a way that can achieve the same purpose. I don't know if I've conveyed my heart here very well - after all, it's 2:40am and I have a very awake baby balanced on my knee. Hope it makes sense.

 

Blessings to you.

[2_girls_mommy]

I haven't read all of the others yet, but wanted to tell you what I have found to work.

 

Rod and Staff for the basics. The math and English are very dependent on the teacher working with the child orally.

 

Story of the World! I can't tell you how much we enjoy doing this together as a family. We played a board game from the A.G. that we made yesterday about the French Revolution, then made Catherine the Great paper dolls as we are getting ready to move into Russia. Then we were so proud of ourselves when we got a question on Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader last night as it was on Louis XVI!! Then for bedtime, dh read the girls some Russian fairytales. We haved learning history and literature together.

 

Drawing with Children. We all get out our supplies and recent projects and work together.

 

WTM science. We do it all together as a family.

 

We do very little indepent learning here except reading, handwriting, math practice after the lesson, spelling for my older while I am working with my younger on her reading, etc. I wouldn't want it any other way.

[EKS]

MCT is great for encouraging conversation.

[4Hisglory]

I've finally put my finger on what I want for our school year. I want a program that will make my daughters and me closer...make our friendships deeper...make our days more inspiring...make our family more connected. All I find is a sea of programs that promote more and more independence, less and less teacher/mom interaction, to the point that we hardly do anything meaningful together. I want our main program to continue to build relationships between my girls and me and between each of them. Does this exist? Or is this completely outside the realm of what curriculum is supposed to offer?

 

 

I love your heart! I think that the natural progression as they get older is more independent work but that doesn't mean that you could not read independent readings aloud and together. You could also read their science aloud and together. I don't think that as they get older there is as much interactive material but you sound like a woman who can take what she has and tweak it to her hearts intent.

Many Blessings to you and your blessed family!

[Tracy]

I think that anything that promotes reading to your children and having meaningful discussions with them would fit the bill. I also am very attracted to curricula that utilize the Socratic method, which I think very much encourages those meaningful discussions that are especially important to our dds.

 

This is one big reason we have used FIAR, TOG, BFSU, and CSMP math.

[Trish]

For us MCT (Michael Clay Thompson's Language Arts program) has definitely been a positive relationship builder. First, we do it on the counch together, so it promotes that cozy feeling that is just oh-so-nice. Second, it is a shared joke/frame of reference, that I share with my kids that carries on beyond that time we spend on the couch, e.g. "that sentence's heart is broken Mom!" or "Oopsy-Daisy!" I think the curriculum choices you make can help shape your relationship. If only I could find a cozy, math program. :glare:

 

Life of Fred can be cozy if you read it together. Even if you don't, my son will often start telling me about something that happened to Fred, OR about some joke the author inserted in that day's lesson.

[MerryAtHope]

I plan to continue read-alouds in SL even though they no longer plan them for me. We've always added in extra read-alouds. It's a night-time ritual here, just like devotions is in the morning.

 

Another thing we do--this is just goofy but we all look forward to it--we play a game at lunch. We take turns picking the game. Nothing longer than 30 minutes usually--but it's a memory maker and fun.

 

HOpe you find a way to connect. Merry :-)

[Blueridge]

Ladies, thank you all! I'm feeling so much more encouraged. Besides your wonderful suggestions, let me share what has happened in the last few hours here...I was on my way to drop off my dd17 at her pt job, and out of the blue, she said, "Mom, I'm on the last section of my worldview course. Up to this point there has been so much reading and writing for me to do, but this last section deals with knowledge and opinions that I really don't have. I need to talk to you and Dad more about it. So can we make more time to discuss it together every week?" :) She didn't know what a timely encouragement that was! When I got back home, it was read-aloud time with my youngers. We're about to finish the SL book Streams to the River, River to the Sea. This chapter ended with the Lewis and Clark team nearing the ocean, and the terrible clash of river water with the power of the mighty Pacific. Somehow it seemed so symbolic of our homeschool 'trip along the river' towards the sea. Sometimes we've seemed to be in separate boats, sometimes my boat had leaks, but we kept rowing along, and we're all moving toward the goal. The main thing is that we're making the trip together. Another school year is coming to a close, sigh, and I am seeing that our hearts really are connected, in our little boat. I'm going to work to keep it that way. Thanks again for your encouragements!! I'm making a list of all your fabulous ideas. Sorry for the *sap*...

[Hunter]

Do you have family worship time? Does it include hymn singing? Do you read through the Bible together?

 

Do you have an artist of the month?

 

Do you have a composer of the month?

 

Do you follow a Messianic or Waldorf or liturgic festival schedule? Or even a secular calendar of holidays? Even celebrating dental health month brings rhythm and ritual.

 

Do you have a yearly schedule for home maintenance? Does everyone contribute to home building and maintenance?

 

Family game night? Always having a puzzle in progress? Do you have a table set up with paints, clay, crayons, always ready for a couple people to sit and doodle or mush a piece of clay?

 

Ethnic food nights? You could combine this with Operation World and prayer for the country. Maybe do a craft or art project? Maybe a movie?

 

I have started reading picture books again and using reference books that teach literary terms, writing traits, art appreciation to older students. Maybe require family members to peruse the library for a picture book to share with the family. Just be silly or have each member include a project to share with it, such as an art project or recipe.

[SnMomof7]

I agree, any literature-based program. We do literature based for history/geography (Sonlight) and science (NOEO). We also do a lot of face-time in our skills, Rod and Staff - we do together, mostly oral - All About Spelling - together, and I am involved in...pretty much everything. My oldest has a quality time love language, so she can get pretty grump in a hurry when we aren't doing school! She can't handle too many days off in a row :).

[sewpeaceful]

A few thougts:

 

1. Do any subjects you can as a family: religious/bible study, SOTW/history, science, etc.

 

2. Do projects as a family that encourages teamwork - like science experiments. Make sure everyone has a part.

 

3. Do Meet The Masters as a family - ALL of you - dad too (we did the first lesson together and it was fun - we can't wait to do VanGogh this weekend!).

 

4. Family read alouds are always a hit here. Even my hubby enjoyed me reading Nancy Drew aloud.

 

5. Field trips as a family - no ipods or anything distracting from one another.

 

Maybe you can use one idea? But I understand your heart. That is why I struggle with the idea my kids may have to be on their own in a few years for science. But for now, a family we will go. :)

[mamapjama]

This suggestion may not be for everyone, but have you read The Seven Spiritual Laws for Parents: Guiding Your Children to Success and Fulfillment by Deepak Chopra . He sets up a basic, daily system of open ended discussion questions. I really found the ideas engaging and plan to begin with my children soon.