NCJessieRN Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 having children? I'm pregnant with #5 and feel (right now) that we will be done! I guess b/c life right now is so busy. IDK. BUT, I thought the same thing after #2. Since I was only 23 at the time we decided not to do anything permanent. I'm so glad we did b/c when #2 turned 3 yrs. old we desperately wanted more children! So...do you think 30 is still too young to decide on a permanent fix? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TKDmom Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 I don't think it's too young to be done. I have several friends who had 4 or 5 kids before they turned 30 and feel done. But I'd still avoid doing anything permanent, unless pregnancy would pose serious health risks for myself. Personally, I prefer something long-term, but not permanent (like a Mirena IUD). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommymilkies Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 Well, I just had #5 at age 27 and dh is done and snipped. I feel sad about it, but on the other hand, my pregnancies were getting so difficult and painful. I will always be sad I'm done, though, especially with so many more years ahead of me I "could've". :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emerkaza Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 I would say yes, especially if you are questioning it. I had my last child at 35 and knew I was done then. Dh had a vasectomy. I will say that if I had to do it over again, I would have had my children closer together (they are 3 years apart) so I could have had more. I would have been happy with 6 or 7. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 I had my first at 30, ten years after we were married. You're done when you want to be done. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meggie Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 ha ha, no it's not too young. I was done when I was 26. The doctor did recommend that I not take any permanent measures, just in case, so I went with the Mirena. I would only do something permanent if I were absolutely, positively 100% sure I were done. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb_ Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 having children? I'm pregnant with #5 and feel (right now) that we will be done! I guess b/c life right now is so busy. IDK. BUT, I thought the same thing after #2. Since I was only 23 at the time we decided not to do anything permanent. I'm so glad we did b/c when #2 turned 3 yrs. old we desperately wanted more children! So...do you think 30 is still too young to decide on a permanent fix? I thought I was done when I was pregnant with my 4th at 30. Then we had 3 more children. Honestly, I would wait until your youngest is about 3 if you have any doubts whatsoever. I'm 42 now and I'm more than ready to move on...not even a twinge of regret. I think it's possible to be done at 30, but it doesn't sound as if you necessarily are. Barb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristusG Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 I'm 30 and I'm pregnant with #3. I've had a TERRIBLE time with morning sickness this time around. After this, I'm thinking I may be done. We won't do anything permanent yet though....just in case the baby fever strikes in a few years. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LBS Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 I think the number of children you have, and the stress pregnancy puts on your body, should be more important factors, than your age, perhaps? The financial goals you have for raising the babies you have, the time you wish to spend with each child, those were factors for me. I still hankered for one more, even though we had the number we really wanted, and are lined up to meet the financial goal we had, in terms of living a life we liked, college payment goals for each child, retirement. I remember reading about little gold spigots that a man can have put in. Oh, my! Hard decision. Good luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lisamarie Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 Nope. I was done at 28. But, if you are unsure, I wouldn't do anything permanent until #5 is 2 years old. That seems to be the point when the baby lust kicks in if it's going to. If you make it past that and still feel this way, then you are probably truly done. DD3 is going to be 4 in August and the desire for more has not been a problem even once. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 No, 30 is not too young, so long as you honestly believe you are done! I planned to be done at 30, but something held me back. I suppose it was the universe begging for another baby boy. ;) Now I'm 34 and know without a doubt that, even if I'm not done bringing new children into the house, I sure as heck am done BUILDING them! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veritaserum Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 I thought I was done at 28 when I have birth to #5. I got an IUD. I'm glad we didn't do anything permanent because now we want a #6. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Homemama2 Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 You're done when you want to be done. :iagree: Of course, my friend was 'sure' she was done, planned on a 'permanent fix' but decided not too for financial reasons....which was a good thing since they decided less than a year later they weren't done, lol! They've had two more. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JessMcG Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 Hey! I'm another Jessie in NC. I even grew up in Charlotte. I'm 30. I had my 4th at 29. If it were just up to me, I might be done. But really, I don't know. DH definitely wants more. Sorry, I'm not much help! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NCJessieRN Posted May 4, 2011 Author Share Posted May 4, 2011 You're done when you want to be done. :iagree: but I've wanted to be DONE before and then changed our minds. I guess I fear regret. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NCJessieRN Posted May 4, 2011 Author Share Posted May 4, 2011 I think the number of children you have, and the stress pregnancy puts on your body, should be more important factors, than your age, perhaps? The financial goals you have for raising the babies you have, the time you wish to spend with each child, those were factors for me. I still hankered for one more, even though we had the number we really wanted, and are lined up to meet the financial goal we had, in terms of living a life we liked, college payment goals for each child, retirement. I remember reading about little gold spigots that a man can have put in. Oh, my! Hard decision. Good luck. This is where I'm at. Pregnancies are easy (so far). BUT the other things you mentioned...that's where my head says be done and my heart says maybe more? We have things we want to do that does get harder and more expensive the more you have. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NCJessieRN Posted May 4, 2011 Author Share Posted May 4, 2011 Hey! I'm another Jessie in NC. I even grew up in Charlotte. I'm 30. I had my 4th at 29. If it were just up to me, I might be done. But really, I don't know. DH definitely wants more. Sorry, I'm not much help! Oh that is neat. We lived in Charlotte for 3 years and just moved back to Charleston, SC last year. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Robyn Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 I am under 30 and I am done. There is a lot more to that story, however. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mimm Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 I was done at 22. :001_smile: I actually had to add that up a couple times. I forgot I was so young. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
indigomama Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 I'm 30 and due with #5 in Sept. I am done. But I have not fun pregnancies. And no matter how careful we are, we um have two surprises, so Dh is definitely getting snipped. Now that said, if in the future we wanted more we are both very open to adoption. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phathui5 Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 I felt done when I had my 4th at 23, but dh nor I are willing to do anything permanant yet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KristinaBreece Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 Done done done! I'm 25 and I've been done for 2 and a half years. (And she was a BIG surprise, since I was on Depo at the time.) But unless Mirena fails as a BC for me, my docs won't even consider me for a tubal. DH can't have a V. I loathe Mirena with every fiber of my being, but another pregnancy would probably kill me. So I deal with it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassenach Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 We were done when I was 24 (after #4). Dh has a V. He does regret it, and wants more kids. I do not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4wildberrys Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 I think the number of children you have, and the stress pregnancy puts on your body, should be more important factors, than your age, perhaps? The financial goals you have for raising the babies you have, the time you wish to spend with each child, those were factors for me. I still hankered for one more, even though we had the number we really wanted, and are lined up to meet the financial goal we had, in terms of living a life we liked, college payment goals for each child, retirement. :iagree: I was done at 25! My body didn't like pregnancy and dh and I thought 2 kids----one of each----was the perfect number for us :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Buckin' Longhorn Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 I was done at 21. Done! Done! Done! Happily and forever done! Only you know what's best for you. Every woman has her own path to travel. I wish you peace with whatever decision you make. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NCJessieRN Posted May 4, 2011 Author Share Posted May 4, 2011 Now that said, if in the future we wanted more we are both very open to adoption. This is us too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 Not too young. I had Sylvia at 27 and I think we're done. I totally get not doing anything permanent though! Ya never know... ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgehog Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 Sure is, if it's right for you. I had my last baby in my early 30's, which I'm totally fine with. Being an older mum would NOT have worked for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cindergretta Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 If there is any chance you will yearn (truly yearn, not just get a bout of baby fever) for another, I wouldn't take any permanent measures. My bff did and now her heart is broken over not being able to have "just one more." I am 38, have 6 dc, and desperately want another. Dh is done. But even he won't take a permanent measure b/c as done as he feels, he isn't willing to end the possibility. He wants nature (aka menopause) to let us know that biological children are no longer a possibility. I love him for that! In answer to your question, no, 30 isn't too young. No age is too young or too old, if you know that is truly your heart's desire. Just be sure. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kchara Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 I don't think it's necessarily too young. My DH and I have made a commitment to not make permanent decisions like that, though, when I'm pregnant and within the first year of having a baby. Sleep deprivation and PP hormones make it difficult to be objective during that time. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plain jane Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 I don't think age matters so much in the decision about being 'done' as much as where you are in life. I personally would never make such a big decision (to do something permanent) when pregnant, close to 'that time' or during the post-partum period. If you're considering something permanent and don't want to wait until baby is 2 or 3, at least give yourself a few months for your hormones to settle and you're getting a quasi-decent amount of sleep. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Canadianmumof5 Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 I guess the question is also how your DH feels about being done? Are you both feeling the same way? Dr Phil always says it takes 2 YES's or 1 NO for a baby....I would imagine the same goes for deciding when you're done? (one of his little things that I actually agree with!) Age-schmage......its whats in your heart that matters - not what your birth certificate says. Mind you - I was 38 when #4 arrived.......and I thought for months after "oh just one more just one more" and DH was like "are you crazy - no way!". Eventually I have come around to his thinking......but it also wouldn't be the end of the world if there was a #5 ;) Although I am a firm believer in even numbers for kids so.......there would have to be a #6 as well!! YIKES!! Just enjoy the rest of your pregnancy and re-evaluate once your new little one is here...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chicagoshannon Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 If you're not sure don't do anything. We're done after 2 kids (I'm 33 but was 32 when DH had the vasectomy). If we hadn't had such problems getting and staying pregnant I'd have more. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simka2 Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 I have 4 and felt done after I had #4. I was 26 at the time and I have moments when I definately regret it. At the same time, we have had a ton of stress, relocations, and trauma. In light of that I am also glad I had it done, and there are no surprises. I know, I am not much help! ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4them Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 Like others have said, I don't think it's too young, necessarily...it depends. For myself, I have decided not to make that decision during pregnancy or in the first year or two after giving birth. I have definitely had moments or even extended periods of time when I felt "done" just because I was in a particularly difficult stage with the kids, but those have been temporary so far. I'm glad I have waited to decide because I always changed my mind! (BTW, I just had number six two weeks ago!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NCJessieRN Posted May 4, 2011 Author Share Posted May 4, 2011 I personally would never make such a big decision (to do something permanent) when pregnant, close to 'that time' or during the post-partum period. If you're considering something permanent and don't want to wait until baby is 2 or 3, at least give yourself a few months for your hormones to settle and you're getting a quasi-decent amount of sleep. Wise words:001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NCJessieRN Posted May 4, 2011 Author Share Posted May 4, 2011 I guess the question is also how your DH feels about being done? Are you both feeling the same way? Dr Phil always says it takes 2 YES's or 1 NO for a baby....I would imagine the same goes for deciding when you're done? He's definitely open to having more but if I said I was done he would be done. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NCJessieRN Posted May 4, 2011 Author Share Posted May 4, 2011 Like others have said, I don't think it's too young, necessarily...it depends. For myself, I have decided not to make that decision during pregnancy or in the first year or two after giving birth. I have definitely had moments or even extended periods of time when I felt "done" just because I was in a particularly difficult stage with the kids, but those have been temporary so far. I'm glad I have waited to decide because I always changed my mind! (BTW, I just had number six two weeks ago!) I can relate! That's what I would fear. Changing my mind. You ladies are right. Don't make drastic decisions when I'm pregnant or pp when I'm completely hormonal! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
journeytolily Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 I think you are asking, are you old enough to know for sure what you want? That's a tough one. Yes, I think you are certainly old enough to decide NO MORE KIDS..EVER. But, as many others have offered, it's probably best to wait just a bit to be absolutely positive that you don't want anymore children before you do anything permanent. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heidi Posted May 5, 2011 Share Posted May 5, 2011 So many husbands changing their minds in this thread. This gives me hope. I will have #5 when I turn 30. The more kids I have, the more I want. Hubby is ready to stop, and I'll honor that, but I really hope he changes his mind. We won't do anything permanent, ever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elise1mds Posted May 5, 2011 Share Posted May 5, 2011 Oh good heavens... I was done when my 'baby' was born... when I was 22, almost 23. I'm STILL not 30. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theYoungerMrsWarde Posted May 5, 2011 Share Posted May 5, 2011 My plan from a young age was to be done having babies by 30. I turn 25 in a week and I still feel the same. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I.Dup. Posted May 5, 2011 Share Posted May 5, 2011 I don't think pregnancy is a good time to decide something like this. Give yourself some time. :001_smile: I felt that way very strongly last time (but here I am pregnant with #6, I would have missed out on this little guy if we had stopped there) and I feel it again this time, but I think so much of it is pregnancy. I have heard SO many stories of regret, to make a decision like this at a vulnerable time, KWIM? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted May 5, 2011 Share Posted May 5, 2011 nope. I was done at 29. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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