Would it be unreasonable..

[Mynyel]

... to give my kids the ultimatum that if they do not have their rooms spic and span in 1 week (from tomorrow) that I get to go into their rooms without them, door closed, and clean it myself getting rid of anything I deem necessary?

 

I am tired of a pig-sty home!

[Twilight Woods]

yes! I have done it before.

[Mynyel]

yes! I have done it before.

 

 

Hmmm yes it is unreasonable or yes it is a good idea? :D

[4everHis]

... to give my kids the ultimatum that if they do not have their rooms spic and span in 1 week (from tomorrow) that I get to go into their rooms without them, door closed, and clean it myself getting rid of anything I deem necessary?

 

I am tired of a pig-sty home!

 

Reasonable or not, I just did that last week! You CAN'T let them in there with you if you're going to be serious. They have their chance.

[Guest Dulcimeramy]

When I tell my kids to clean up their rooms, they get 2 hours. Anything out of place gets thrown in the trash.

 

I glance at their rooms daily and do inspections at least once per week so the situation never becomes unmanageable.

 

We have four children and a very small house. I can't let it get out of hand.

[AK_Mom4]

Well, a week is too long, I think, to actually get anything done. Give them a few hours. Seriously.

 

And you might need to help the 9yo get their act together since if it is really really bad, that age gets overwhelmed in the details. Maybe give the 9yo a plan (do clothes, then toys, here is a bag for donations and a different one for trash, ...).

 

I know my 9yo still needs some organizational guidance on big projects - and it sounds like their rooms qualify!

[Mrs Mungo]

I have done it before. I don't think it's unreasonable. If you can't do it, I will.

[melik]

I think that one week is too long. My kids would lose focus in a week. How bout a day? That should really be enough time.

 

Meli

[Once]

Well, a week is too long, I think, to actually get anything done. Give them a few hours. Seriously.

 

I know my 9yo still needs some organizational guidance on big projects - and it sounds like their rooms qualify!

 

 

:iagree: I have told my two youngest boys that after dinner I will going in to finish whatever job they started. Then I go in and give specific instructions to each of them. They are my legs....I just sit there. Example, "Take this Lego piece downstairs and put it where it belongs. Where does it belong?" They do not leave the room until they give me a correct answer. "I don't know" is a good answer.....then I can talk to them about where we keep stuff.

 

My goal is always have those moments be instructional not punitive. I have failed many times but the more often I do it, the more often I succeed.

 

Good Luck! My boys really loved the last time *I* cleaned their room!! It was so clean and organized they actually liked the look of it.

[Marylou]

A week? Are you trying to teach procrastination????? One hour is plenty. How big is the room :001_huh:

[Julie in Austin]

I think because your and your child's definition of "spic and span" might differ, it might be more fair if you either:

 

(1) went in the room a day before the deadline and told them what remained to be done

 

or

 

(2) put everything you want to get rid of in a box and tell them that those items either need to be put away properly or they will be gone

[LG Gone Wild]

... to give my kids the ultimatum that if they do not have their rooms spic and span in 1 week (from tomorrow) that I get to go into their rooms without them, door closed, and clean it myself getting rid of anything I deem necessary?

 

I am tired of a pig-sty home!

 

 

You are a softy! 1 hour if I am feeling generous.

[Jean in Newcastle]

It would be unreasonable if I did that with my dd because she gets so overwhelmed that she cannot do it on her own. Can't. For her, I need to help her and then help her daily to keep it that way.

[SquirrellyMama]

I do it at least once every 6 months. It is so therapeutic! I've decided that I will never be on Hoarders. My kids will be on some talk show telling the world how I used to go in and throw away their toys :001_smile: Another dollar in the therapy fund:tongue_smilie:

 

Kelly

[Cheryl in NM]

This is how room cleaning is handled in our house. I sort and clean and throw away and put stuff in storage. I did it just last year, but haven't done it since. I didn't leave much and Ds is much better about keeping him room picked up now.

[Mommy22alyns]

I agree that it's not unreasonable, but a week is too long.

[happypamama]

Not unreasonable, but I think you probably need to give them some guidance. A week is probably too long, too, unless you're breaking it down into a certain amount of time or a certain amount of items per day (I find the latter way more effective than the former -- they can choose to pick up 50 items in 10 minutes, or they can choose to dawdle and make it take two hours, but if I just say "30 minutes," they might screw around and only pick up three things each). They probably need you to say things like, "Find all the dirty clothes. Now find all the books. Now, the Legos."

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

Dh gave them 1 hr. to clean their room before he came in with the big black bag. They had to earn stuff back.

 

I don't think you're being unreasonable. If anything, a week is too long! :D

[merry gardens]

I agree with those who say a week is too long. If the job is too big to accomplish in a couple of hours, break it up into mini-tasks that can be accomplished in less time. Depending on the condition of the room and the closet, it might take a week to get it organized but don't just say "one week". Assign a manable amount of work, check progress regularly and help with sorting outgrown clothes and unwanted items that should be stored elsewhere or given away.

[Mynyel]

WOW! Ok ladies ty!

 

A week to long... Hmm ok that makes me rethink a little then. I'll shoot for a couple hours. That should be plenty of time.

 

You are right about ds9, I will tell him to pick up alphabetically. That will help.

 

Dd 13 is old enough to do it on her own. :D

 

Now to pick a day I am not overwhelmed.... (which was the reason for the week anyway!)

[Mandamom]

:iagree: I have told my two youngest boys that after dinner I will going in to finish whatever job they started. Then I go in and give specific instructions to each of them. They are my legs....I just sit there. Example, "Take this Lego piece downstairs and put it where it belongs. Where does it belong?" They do not leave the room until they give me a correct answer. "I don't know" is a good answer.....then I can talk to them about where we keep stuff.

 

My goal is always have those moments be instructional not punitive. I have failed many times but the more often I do it, the more often I succeed.

 

Good Luck! My boys really loved the last time *I* cleaned their room!! It was so clean and organized they actually liked the look of it.

 

This is exactly what I do and as a matter of fact we just did it yesterday with my 10 and 8 year old girls.

 

The other huge problem was the number of clothes in their room. We took each and every item of clothing out of their room and went through them and ended up getting rid of a black garbage bag of clothes (they have 2 friends who love to give them the clothes that they outgrew) which has helped a lot.

 

By eliminating all of the extra clothes -- going through the rest of their things was fairly easy.

 

 

With my older 2 boys I used to have to do the same thing with their toys and sort and get rid of the broken/duplicates, etc.

 

I agree with the others -- don't wait a a week.

[Remudamom]

Why a week? I don't feed mine unless the rooms are at least picked up.

[happi duck]

Another vote for pick a day to clean rooms and be their guide.

 

My kids have clean rooms without reminders...now. When they were younger we worked together on keeping their rooms clean.

 

First of all, we made it clear why they needed clean rooms: find things, move safely, calming, healthful etc.

 

Next, I supervised, focusing on one area at a time. "Get everything up off the floor. If you know where it 'lives' put it away, if not put it on the bed." This continued until everything but the bed was clean.

 

When we dealt with the homeless stuff we discussed 'is it needed/wanted?', 'where is the best place for it to 'live'?' If an item really did belong in the bedroom and there was no space, we found items that weren't needed/wanted and used that space, kwim?

 

Family stuff like games and art supplies do not need to 'live' in their rooms. Personal stuff is limited to their rooms except we do have one storage box per kid for items they're not sure about or really want to keep just not in their rooms at this time. HTH

[Mimm]

I've done this and my kids survived. They always freak out a little, but in the end, they appreciate a clean room. And in hindsight they acknowledge that the things I threw away weren't the toys that they played with or loved the most. I don't throw away the good toys. :) If anything, I take them away and they earn them back.

[kalanamak]

No. I tell him anything left on the floor when I get home is TOAST. I make a general scan on arrival, and when I see the inevitable couple of missed things under the bed, I start the timer for 5 minutes. Works every time.

[LarlaB]

Agreed- make it a day, then show 'em this thread. :)

[kolamum]

A week would be very generous. :) I remember having 24 hours the one time this was done to me. I'll also say I never had THAT messy of a room again. ;) My kids get x amount of time {I set a timer and put it in the room} Anything out of place is taken away.

[Pretty in Pink]

... to give my kids the ultimatum that if they do not have their rooms spic and span in 1 week (from tomorrow) that I get to go into their rooms without them, door closed, and clean it myself getting rid of anything I deem necessary?

 

I am tired of a pig-sty home!

 

One week? Sheesh. I give my kids one hour! :tongue_smilie:

 

Seriously, if the rooms are out of control messy and need to be sorted and such, I'd give them a whole day to work on it, maybe up to a week if our schedule didn't allow for a whole day devoted to cleaning rooms. No, I don't think you're being unreasonable. At all.

[AnitaMcC]

... to give my kids the ultimatum that if they do not have their rooms spic and span in 1 week (from tomorrow) that I get to go into their rooms without them, door closed, and clean it myself getting rid of anything I deem necessary?

 

I am tired of a pig-sty home!

 

 

I have done it and will be doing it again soon!!!! You may want to give them no more than a day though. I find that giving them longer just allows them to put it off to last minute and often times... I forget.

 

We expect to be moving in mid June and my kids rooms are disaster zones.

 

I have repeatedly asked 21yr old nephew to clean his mess up in the basement and start packing his stuff (he is going to Navy boot camp July 15th) so it can be ready to get stored at his sister's.

 

He has stuff spread all over the basement (and it is a colonial house with a full size basement that is same size as each level of house and the top level has four bedrooms). I need space to start sorting and packing stuff. I want to put what is to go with us to PA in the basement and don't want his stuff mixed in my stuff.

 

He has until Wednesday (tomorrow) morning and then Dh takes over-LOL.

 

Oh, and the twins bedrooms and the youngest two bedroom are a mess too... I am starting on them this week on Friday.

 

Now that I think about it... maybe I need to rent a dumpster and just shovel the mess into it. Would be so much easier-LOL.

Edited April 27, 2011 by AnitaMcC

[Heather in Neverland]

Yep. Except I'd give mine one hour.

[Katiebug_1976]

I've done it many times, only I don't stop there. I sort through all the stuff they wont pick up, then box up what is kept, leaving them with 3 pairs of clothes & their bedding. Thats all! Then after a week or two, they can start earning back their things one at a time. But if they fail to keep their room picked up, we go back and do it all over again. When I am consistent with this, it is really effective.

[HS Mom in NC]

1 week is far too much time as far as I'm concerned. I have given my kids an afternoon. I have no problem with this kind of ultimatum (and no problem listening to them wail and scream and cry while I throw things away) because I have taught them HOW to clean a big mess.

 

When they were little (preschool-very early elementary school) I taught cleaning up by making a game of taking strips of different colored paper, putting them in a paper bag, and letting them take turns pulling out a color and picking up all items with that color on it. Then it was the next kid's turn to pick a color and they put away everything with that color on it. That, by the way is how they learned their colors in the preschool years.

 

In those early years we varied the clean up game by shapes (circles, spheres, rectangles, etc.) and then by classifications (things with wheels, things that stack, things with pages, things with fabric) and categories (dress up, puzzles, construction, arts and crafts, kitchen, dolls, etc.)

 

It was important that they learn to break a big job down into smaller tasks. I noticed when they had a big playroom to clean up they would get out the paper bag and talk themselves through it even when I wasn't making a game of it. I still do it sometimes with my little one (5) but the older two (13 and 15) are years and years beyond it and can handle it all on their own. Now I just say, "Clean it up or I'll make YOU throw it away because if you're not willing to take care of it, you shouldn't have it."

[AvasMom]

... to give my kids the ultimatum that if they do not have their rooms spic and span in 1 week (from tomorrow) that I get to go into their rooms without them, door closed, and clean it myself getting rid of anything I deem necessary?

 

I am tired of a pig-sty home!

 

Sounds fair to me but I wouldn't give them a full week. A day, or a weekend if you're really generous, is plenty. I don't do messy though so I may be less tolerant than others. :tongue_smilie: But I do think a week is too long. Too much time to procrastinate, mess it up again, etc.

[HLDoll]

A week is far too long. I set a timer, depending on the scope of the mess. I don't think I've ever given them more than an hour or so. When the timer rings, I go in with a trash bag and collect anything that isn't where it belongs. With some of the more expensive toys (Lego, Playmobil, American Girl), I don't actually take them to the curb, but the kids see them go into the bag and they don't get them back for several weeks. And the more they ask about the missing items, the longer I make them wait. But cheap/old toys and things they have shown no interest in taking care of go out with the trash. When the rooms are starting to be out of control on a regular basis, we do a clean up together and talk about what can stay and what needs to go to make it more manageable. This is usually a relief for them.

[Sun]

I also think a week is too long, especially for the 9 year old. I would also suggest giving at least the 9yo a checklist of what "clean" means. I made up one for my DS, and I made it really specific to help him get it to what I consider clean. For example, DS's list has things like clean floor, clear top of nightstand, clear top of dresser, books on bookshelf (spines facing out), art table cleared off, nothing under bed, markers in marker cup, etc. I found that being very, very specific about what he needs to do means that he is much more able to do it.

[Dawn in OH]

... to give my kids the ultimatum that if they do not have their rooms spic and span in 1 week (from tomorrow) that I get to go into their rooms without them, door closed, and clean it myself getting rid of anything I deem necessary?

 

I am tired of a pig-sty home!

 

 

I just told my kids that 30 minutes ago. I couldn't get into the room, again, to collect laundry. I'm done. If you can't keep your room clean, you must have too much stuff.

 

My time limit was actually by dinnertime on Saturday.