Mom in High Heels Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 Well, label us weird. Indy eats all manner of foods that are not considered "normal" for kids. He loves to snack on dates (to be fair though, that's because Indiana Jones eats them in the first IJ movie), thinks white sandwich bread is gross and gooey, loves almost any green vegetable, requests salad for dinner and would eat chicken broccoli casserole for dinner about 5 nights a week. I'm all broken up about it. :D He also enjoys spending time with his FAMILY! Can you imagine? The other day he and I walked to the post office and when we got back to our quad (we live in military housing and our buildings are built on a quad with a playground in the middle), he decided to stay outside and play. I told him to have fun and he reached up to kiss and hug me before I went in. I didn't think anything about it. A day or two later another mom commented that the other kids were going to tease him if he kept hugging and kissing me in public. :001_huh: She said HER son (the same age as Indy) would never kiss her in public because people would think he's a baby. I told her I was sorry that she didn't have that close of a relationship with her son and walked away. I'm crazy hormonal on a good day and would dearly have loved to go off on her (How dare she say that? I don't even know her NAME), but I held myself in check. Yeah, we're a bunch of weirdos. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tristangrace Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 There are two different issues: one is that folks keep labeling your kids as "weird", and the other is that your kids (at least one of them) is struggling with whether being "weird" is OK. I don't have strong opinions about the first issue, especially as you report that the spirit behind the comments is generally complimentary (if irritating). I'd mention to your friends that it bugs you--but you will not be able to prevent strangers/acquaintances from using the "W" word, and I personally would hate to take on the responsibility of educating the whole of society to think differently about healthy eating, etc. The second issue seems much more significant. I don't know how old your fish-requesting daughter is, but I'd strongly recommend talking with her about it. What does weird mean? Does she think she's weird? What does she think other people mean when they use the word in reference to her? Does she want to change her life in order to avoid that label? Two happy things about this sort of conversation: 1) Sounds like you can truthfully encourage her with the fact that MOST people who refer to her as weird are expressing admiration, however backwardly. 2) While American society currently seems to think eating healthfully, etc., is "weird", American society also places high value on "being yourself", "being unique", etc., so chances are good that she will say she'd rather continue to ask for the food she likes than conform to expectations. As so many posters have already expressed, it's easy to understand that one is supposed to take pride in one's individuality. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 Fish is so far from weird. In our house one is weird if one dislikes fish. There are seconds and even for some of us thirds. Some people don't know good when they taste it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jujsky Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 If your kids are starting to develop a complex over it, I'd say something. Example: "I don't think they're weird, I just think I'm lucky to have kids who aren't picky eaters." Try something like that. If it's the same few people doing it over and over I might take them aside and tell them that your kids are starting to ask you if they're weird, and you'd like them to stop using that word. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kat19 Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 I embrace my weirdness. If wanting egg's Benedict is weird then I give up. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unicorn. Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 But we, too, embrace our weirdness. In our family "weird," "geek," "dork," etc., are terms of endearment. So, in your situation, if someone said my kid was weird, I might answer, "Yep. We are all." :iagree: This is us. I would respond w/ laughter and "Thanks, we try!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
m0mmaBuck Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 I've heard this before with regard to my kids and I just remind the person that DH and I are their parents so they didn't stand a chance to be "normal" by societal standards. My husband and I march to the beat of our own drums and so do our kids. By our example, our children know that it is OK to be who you are (as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else). If Eggs Benedict as as weird as it gets, those people haven't seen anything yet! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Homemama2 Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 I'd smile and wink back as I commented "At least they aren't rude!" After all, the smile and the wink means you don't really mean it, right? ;) (see if they who dish it out can take it!) :lol: Yup. I'd do that. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KellyKelley Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 Seeing what the majority feel is "normal" in society, I'm cool with being "wierd"! I try to be like this and most of the time I am but when people start treating my kids poorly because I'm "that mom" it really makes me mad. I am also tired of getting attacked for thinking for myself and not blindly following anybody because I have never attacked the sheeple so why do they see the need to attack me? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaissezFaire Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 My eldest DD (12) has coined the phrase, "If you aren't weird, you aren't normal." She says this often. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AvasMom Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 I have been thinking about posting this for a while, but didn't really know how to phrase my discomfort. Most of our friends homeschool or are homeschool-friendly. However, I am often told, in front of the kids and privately, that my kids are "weird". For example, on DD2s birthday, I posted on FB that she had requested eggs benedict with tomato and avocado slices and pickles. The number of comments that I got about my kids being "weird" was amazing. Another example, at our park day, I had ordered a large order of sprouted seeds/nuts/granolas, and the lady delivered them to the park. Well, all the kids grabbed a bag and sat happily munching. Someone came up to them and said "that must be really good" and another friend said "they are, but the kids are just weird, they'll eat anything." This is always said with a smile, wink, nudge, kind of like, "wow, I wish my kids would eat the organic broccoli by the bunch", but I am wondering if I need to say something about people's constant assertions that my kids are weird. The other day DS6 was asking for another portion of fish, and then stopped and asked if liking fish was "weird". I think it originally started as a joke because when DD2 was first starting on food, she ate only sour homemade yoghurt, her second food was cheddar jalapeno dip, and her third was homemade garlic pickles - no fruits and veggie purees for this girl. I don't want to make a big deal out of something that isn't but I also don't want my kids to feel different or weird. I would address it. It's too easy for them to suddenly feel weird and that they shouldn't like healthy food. There are too many messages out there telling kids that they aren't supposed to like veggies and such and it's just really not ok. I'm sure they don't mean anything by it but that doesn't mean your kids won't still receive the wrong message. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SeekingSimplicity Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 ONe of my favorite dr who quotes, from Matt Smith Craig Owens: Has anyone ever told you that you're a bit weird? The Doctor: They never really stop. And my dad used to like to remind me that it's only mathmatically possible for half the people you know to be normal. Weirdness is something to be embraced around here. It's a sign of individuality, which is the sincerest form of coolness Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WyoSylvia Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 I was only able to read the first few pages of comments so sorry if this kind of thing has been written before. I personally wouldn't like the word weird being used here mainly because, while you can encourage them to think of it in a different way, words have power and these people could be ruining a very cool thing about your family. Whenever it happens I would encourage you to, in front of the kids, elaborate and clarify what your kids are. They are "foodies" and I would try to replace into your friends vocabulary something like that word rather than weird. To my mind your kids eat great and are perhaps adventurous eaters. Our son loves all manner of good-for-you vegetables and early on we praised him for being a "foodie." (We knew that he would soon enough learn that most kids his age don't eat brussels sprouts with enthusiasm.) We told him that that was the reason we could take him to all the cool places we go. If we had a kid who balked at trying new foods or proper food then he wouldn't be the awesome traveler he is. I wouldn't like other people to taint such a great thing as your kids eating just plain good, proper food. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brilliant Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 The only difference between people who are "weird" and people who are "really cool" is that the latter are confident in their choices. ... And you know, that's what I would say if I saw your kids eating that way: "How cool that your kids like that!" I would never say it's weird. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spy Car Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 And you know, that's what I would say if I saw your kids eating that way: "How cool that your kids like that!" I would never say it's weird. An advantage of living in California ;) :D Bill Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RahRah Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 My kids were sitting outside eating slices of cucumber a couple years back (neither were even school age at the time) and my neighbor lady asked, "Don't you ever feed them anything normal for snacks like chips or twinkies?" :001_huh: Apparently healthy=weird....maybe that's why there are so many obese children in our country?? I haven't had anyone actually say DS is weird, but his food choices do raise some eyebrows, and have for years! We have fielded comments about why doesn't he eat "normal snacks" though.....for some reason people don't understand why he prefers the good stuff. One time I was at my sister's - she asked if he wanted chocolate chip cookies with his cousins, he politely said no, but can I have a banana, as he eyed one in the bowl on the counter. She gave him the banana, but when he headed downstairs with his cousins, she turned to me and asked what was wrong with him? :confused: Another time, out with friends and their kids, DS ordered ham, broccoli and a salad for dinner. Parent A remarked that wasn't on the kids menu. DH said that was okay, he could order what he wanted, he didn't like what was on the kids menu. Parent B then asked DS how he couldn't like chicken nuggets? DS said he didn't know, he didn't like them.....and then Parent B had the audacity to ask if he even had had chicken nuggets to know! OMG. We let DS answer himself - that yes, he'd had them, they tasted fake in restaurants, but he did like his mom's parma-chicken cutlets at home! It really amazes me when others just don't get it when our kids eat well and WANT to eat healthy foods, all on their own! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nojo317 Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 Since most comments seem to be about your kids' eating habits, I'd probably respond, "What's wierd is eating unnatural foods like Doritos and McDonalds. I'm glad my children enjoy eating healthy!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pretty in Pink Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 I have been thinking about posting this for a while, but didn't really know how to phrase my discomfort. Most of our friends homeschool or are homeschool-friendly. However, I am often told, in front of the kids and privately, that my kids are "weird". For example, on DD2s birthday, I posted on FB that she had requested eggs benedict with tomato and avocado slices and pickles. The number of comments that I got about my kids being "weird" was amazing. Another example, at our park day, I had ordered a large order of sprouted seeds/nuts/granolas, and the lady delivered them to the park. Well, all the kids grabbed a bag and sat happily munching. Someone came up to them and said "that must be really good" and another friend said "they are, but the kids are just weird, they'll eat anything." This is always said with a smile, wink, nudge, kind of like, "wow, I wish my kids would eat the organic broccoli by the bunch", but I am wondering if I need to say something about people's constant assertions that my kids are weird. The other day DS6 was asking for another portion of fish, and then stopped and asked if liking fish was "weird". I think it originally started as a joke because when DD2 was first starting on food, she ate only sour homemade yoghurt, her second food was cheddar jalapeno dip, and her third was homemade garlic pickles - no fruits and veggie purees for this girl. I don't want to make a big deal out of something that isn't but I also don't want my kids to feel different or weird. I would not be offended by what you have described. :001_huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeneralMom Posted March 30, 2011 Author Share Posted March 30, 2011 Sorry just got home from a day out with the kids. Thank you all for your kind remarks. Yes, the majority of the comments do have to do with food which I find really odd because all of these people belong to the same food co-ops I do, get the same organic CSA stuff. I guess I just didn't realize that only they and their partners were eating the food and not the kids. I am not really insulted by the comments, more that I am worried my kids will start to question their choices. We are not conformists, so I think I will have a discussion with them about the choices we make and how they reflect well on us. I guess it doesn't help that I walk around in a shirt that says "Improve the species, breed with a geek," and my DH has a tie that is a pattern made up of 1s and 0s. Poor little things don't have a chance ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 My kids eat like yours. They are not weird. Parents who have kids who eat nothing but frozen nuggets and microwave pizza need to say things like that to make them feel like their kids are normal. Or, maybe just the general food consumption in this country is so far removed from real food...I dunno. But I get that, too. All the time. Embrace the weirdness. Wear it with pride. It's a compliment. WTM Disclaimer: I am not saying that kids who eat processed foods are not normal, not healthy, or limited in their gastronomic inclinations. I'm sure they will grow up into happy, well adjusted adults who will be productive members of society. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K&Rs Mom Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 I am not really insulted by the comments, more that I am worried my kids will start to question their choices. We are not conformists, so I think I will have a discussion with them about the choices we make and how they reflect well on us. We hear the same kinds of things, and I try to pre-empt it with a good offense. I tell my kids how their friends/cousins don't know what they're missing, and they seem to have accepted that. They know they eat a lot of things other kids won't, and it's become kind of something to be proud of - 8yo knows her cousin wouldn't go near a mussel, so she can brag about being "braver" than him (sometimes they can induce their friends to try stuff this way too). We talk about why these things are good for their bodies, how they'll be healthier for it, and just generally try to play it up as a positive thing. It pretty much goes the same way with books & movies & hobbies too, not just food. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arghmatey Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 I say, "Thank the Lord! It makes life so much more fun!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 Someone said that to me once and caught me by surprised. I gave them a startled look and said "So?" They said the kids won't fit in (see sig line for ages of kids :rolleyes:) and I :confused: said "So?" again. That was sort of the end of it. Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 Yep, we're weird here too! When asked what he wanted for his sixth birthday dinner (when I'd allow pretty much anything, regardless of how unhealthy I might think it is), my older son immediately said, "brussels sprouts!" Then we had to think of a few other things to round out the meal, but that was his major desire. My oldest is the pickiest of the bunch, and she's actually fairly non-picky, on the scale. I think it's just some luck of the draw and also that DH and I like food with a lot of flavor, so they're used to it. And the younger they are, I think it just hasn't occurred to them *not* to like something. (They do typically like "kid food" too and haven't been known to turn down junk food -- they just generally like most edibles.) I would not be bothered by someone else saying they were weird, at least not for their food desires. However, I would be bothered by the children's concern about their own food likings. Not sure how the best way to address that is, though. I'd probably say something like, "Nope, it's not weird to like fish. Fish is delicious, and healthy too! It's so great that you like so many foods." (If it continued, I might even say something about how other people are missing out on some great flavors. Really play up what a good thing your kids have going.) And if someone else continually called them weird, I'd discuss it with that person; the person is probably envious and probably doesn't realize that it sounds more negative than (hopefully) intended. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
allie911 Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 We get similar comments about my kids and how weird they are for liking healthy foods. My DH (6) has started replying to anyone who comments that "weird is just another word for interesting!" :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brehon Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 The only difference between people who are "weird" and people who are "really cool" is that the latter are confident in their choices. Being a conformist is boring. Embrace the idea that you have really cool kids. Or, move to Austin :D Bill *snort* :lol: the "Keep Austin Weird" stickers abound. Just a few weeks ago I saw a bumper sticker which said "Keep Round Rock slightly eccentric" [Round Rock is just north of Austin]. About died laughing... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MilkMaid Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 I would tell the kids that the others will catch up with them. They are just good eaters with great minds. :D I don't think it's really meant to be mean even though it's quite tiresome. Love this... the catching up thing. Clever! I think that would be an ideal thing to tell my dds when their friends make off the wall comments. Example: My 11yo.dds friend called her an idiot & told her that she needed mental help due to my dds love for her HS science curriculum. My first reaction was to say "You realy don't need her as a friend if she talks to you that way." Then I remember that my dd wants the opportunity to hold up for herself not to mention that when these things aren't being said, they have sooo much fun together. Kudos to her, for trying to be strong but in the mean time I don't want this to happen anymore. We are giving this particular girl another shot so my dd can tell her that she doesn't appreciate the way she talks to or about her & if they are going to stay friends she can't talk that way to her anymore. So we will see. Suggestions welcomed! If anyone has better ideas, I am all ears:bigear: Blessinsg!;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MilkMaid Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 My kids eat like yours. They are not weird. Parents who have kids who eat nothing but frozen nuggets and microwave pizza need to say things like that to make them feel like their kids are normal. Or, maybe just the general food consumption in this country is so far removed from real food...I dunno. But I get that, too. All the time. Embrace the weirdness. Wear it with pride. It's a compliment. WTM Disclaimer: I am not saying that kids who eat processed foods are not normal, not healthy, or limited in their gastronomic inclinations. I'm sure they will grow up into happy, well adjusted adults who will be productive members of society. AGREE!!!!!!!!!!!!! Even adults that we are somewhat socialized with think we, as adults, are sooo weird for eating the way we do. Lots of fresh veggies & fruits. We grow different sprouts in our kitchen. My adult niece laughs & calls me 'lil Amish woman.' I am not Amish (just a dairy farmer) nor do I think it's offensive to be called Amish. Love the Amish way of life! She is attempting to poke fun of our way of life when she calls me this. Oh well, doesn't bother me @ all. Truthfully, I, somewhat take it as a compliment.:lol: The joke's on her!LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Sherry Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 (edited) I agree. But I don't think people should be calling children "weird" in front of them. I think I might say something like "Excuse me, but we do not call each other weird in our family." Even though people are not meaning it in a mean way, I don't think, it seems that the children are seeing themselves as being labeled in a way that has a negative connotation (maybe, or do they ?). If the children don't seem to see it as something negative I would just not worry about it. If these comments are being made by people you will likely never see again there's really no point in correcting them. I like Starrs idea about telling the kids that others will catch up with them, I would add because they are the cool eaters. Edited March 31, 2011 by Miss Sherry Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kate CA Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 I was reading this when my 12yr old ds came up behind me and read the title of this post.. He said mom what is that post about? So I told him... HIS words of advice.. " tell them thank you! I take that as a compliment! I don't like being a cookie cutter person :) so for you to call me weird means what I'm doing is working!" Ds evidently gets called weird too.. That is his comeback lol Love it! Good for him! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joyofsixreboot Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 My son's b-day was Monday. He asked for broccoli/chicken casserole and strawberries. Funniest comment ever here, my SIL called the kids odd, then did this lightbulb moment look and stared at dh and I.:lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizzie in Ma Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 You can slice avocado? :D Stupid people say stupid things, every child in the world has quirks and none of them have anything to do with home school. I teach my kids that some people are rude. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lionfamily1999 Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 If these are people you meet a lot you may want to point out that they are giving your kids issues. "Okay, that's enough of that. You know, they're starting to second guess themselves and wonder if they are indeed 'wierd.' You need to stop." You don't have to be mean, but sometimes a joke (for grown-ups) runs so long that they forget the kids are "in" on the punch line. Mama Bear up and tell em' to back off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gooblink Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 *snort* :lol: the "Keep Austin Weird" stickers abound. Just a few weeks ago I saw a bumper sticker which said "Keep Round Rock slightly eccentric" [Round Rock is just north of Austin]. About died laughing... :lol::lol: I haven't seen that one. I live in Round Rock...slightly eccentric is good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pbt1294 Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 Don't worry what they think, but I think it might be nice to ask them to stop commenting on your kid's food preferences. I sometimes think people feel like they could be doing more with nutrition for their kids and when they see someone actually doing it, it makes them feel uncomfortable. :grouphug: :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KidsHappen Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 (edited) My response would have been, "Why thank you. I try." We embrace our weirdness here. ETA: Ok, after reading the whole thread I can see that many people said the same thing. Maybe we aren't so weird after all. ;) Edited March 31, 2011 by KidsHappen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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