RoughCollie Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 (edited) Do not put glitter in your brother's eyes so that when he wakes up, he will see in sparkly color. Do not pile leaves in the den to save them from the yard man. Do not make wads of toilet paper wet and throw them onto the ceiling, even though it is fascinating that they stick there even after they dry. Further, do not throw any stretchy play goop onto the ceiling because it will leave behind a stain. Just don't throw anything onto the ceiling!!!! Do not melt a Barbie doll, especially using your bedroom lamp's light bulb. Do not use diaper rash ointment to paint the sofa. Do not have pillow fights in the dark. Do not strip and paint your entire body green. Do not leave cash in your pants pockets or the Laundry Fairy will keep it. Do not leave crayons in your pockets, do not leave cell phones in your pockets ... Empty Your Pockets!!! Edited February 2, 2011 by RoughCollie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donna Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 (edited) "Do not use my car as target practice for your slingshots...ever!" "No, you may not sled down the basement stairs." (in my laundry basket) Edited February 2, 2011 by Donna Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KidsHappen Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 "Don't walk on the roof, especially in the snow." "Don't swing on the vines and let go at the end." At least a 15' drop at the end after which the rolled into the street. "Don't ride the mattresses down the stairs." "Don't put M&Ms in your nose, or ears or any other body parts." "Don't carve or write your name everywhere you have ever been." "Don't step on the ice to just check and make sure it will hold you." "Don't jump from the second floor into the snow." Finally I just told the last two to not do anything without getting specific permission first. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leanna Tomlinson Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 DO NOT suggest to young men that they should date your sister. (I know he's fun and all, but your sister does not have "plays well with my little brothers" at the top of her list of necessary qualities for a potential mate.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kamom Posted February 2, 2011 Author Share Posted February 2, 2011 :lol::lol: Do not carve your name on the piano bench. Do not slide down the stairs while zipped into your sleeping bag, or with the sled. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyfaithe Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 :lol::lol: Do not lock the cat in the dryer. Do not aim at the ceiling fan with your soccer ball No, you can not eat dinner unless you put your clothes back on. Why are you standing in the toilet? (Blank stare) Stop eating dirt No, I don't want to eat a piece of your mud pie (pretend was not satisfactory) Do not eat anything you find outside unless you ask first. My son got so tired of the "no-s" he asked me if I could please make him a list...:lol::lol::lol: Oh, these boys.... faithe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catherine Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 No bird food in your ear please. This after the original sunflower seed sprouted in his ear and caused pain. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pretty in Pink Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 Yesterday I had to tell my 7yo not to lay down underneath the shopping cart. He was laying under the cart where you would normally put a bag of dog food! Whenever we go grocery shopping I always have to remind the boys, "Move to the other side of the aisle, please. Do not walk by the coffee beans." And two seconds later, "I said, DO NOT touch those beans. Put them down!" My 5yo has a penchant for shoving them up his nose...?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kamom Posted February 2, 2011 Author Share Posted February 2, 2011 Yesterday I had to tell my 7yo not to lay down underneath the shopping cart. He was laying under the cart where you would normally put a bag of dog food Mine have often tried this. Then they like to stick their hands out and act like they are walking along with the cart. No. Please act normal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tarreymere Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 Do NOT unscrew the legs of the kitchen table while you are sitting under it. I'm sure more will happen today, it is early yet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
radiobrain Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 I think that it is good that I seem to have forgotten any things that could have made it into this thread. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom-ninja. Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 Yesterday I had to tell my 7yo not to lay down underneath the shopping cart. He was laying under the cart where you would normally put a bag of dog food! I actually *tell* my ds to lie there. I fold up my reusable bags and he uses it as a pillow. Keeps him contained, out of the way, and happy. The rule is hands and feet must be kept in at all times. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanceXToo Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 Vaginas are private. I don't think we should sing about them in the Hokey Pokey. (To my daughter when she was about 5). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoughCollie Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 DO NOT suggest to young men that they should date your sister. That is our latest house rule! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarinesWife Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 Do not swing on the clothesline. Do not try to cross the top of the clotheslines. Just don't touch the clothesline. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kmacnchs Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 Yep! All of those were directed to my then 3yo boy (now 4yo). He takes EVERYTHING apart! Drives me batty. My DH is also an engineer, so I guess it is in the blood. I don't think I will have a nice looking house by the time I am finished raising this kid. do they ever start putting it back again? I thought my 3yo was just a destructive kid but then I realized she was taking things apart just to see how they worked - however, she doesn't know how to put it back again - hence all the broken toys in the trash:glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kmacnchs Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 Do NOT eat bugs! My DS was going through an experimental eating stage at 2 years of age... we found him happily chewing on a black and orange striped bug, with black drool running down his chin... Bleah. Yep, it's boys. :D nope, I had to finger sweep a roach out of my 3yo's mouth when she was 1 - the ONLY time in my life I have touched a roach w/my bare hands! :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theYoungerMrsWarde Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 This morning I had to tell my 4yo to stop counting and doing math with his apple slices and JUST EAT his breakfast! We had to get my dh to work on time so that I could have the car today, and he wouldn't just stop and eat.:glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elise1mds Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 Ohhhh I'm loving these. Here are a few I've had to use over the years: "Do not stuff the cat in the freezer!" "Pens are not for couches... or my kitchen walls... or your p*nis." "DON'T POOP IN THE LITTER BOX!!!" "Don't stuff hackberries in your ears!" (Both kids did this for a total of seven berries... surgery was required.) "Just because you're walking the pipe fence doesn't mean you're still in the yard. If you're past the chainlink fence, you're out of bounds." "Quit climbing the crape myrtles! They are not trees!" "Don't play tic-tac-toe on your walls with a knife!" "You may NOT drill holes through your closet wall into your sister's room! I don't care if you used a drumstick instead of a drill - it's still called drilling!" "You PEED in the AIR CONDITIONING VENT??? Don't!!!" "You also peed under your bed and in your [wooden] nightstand drawer?? Again - DON'T!!!" "No, you may not go collect fire ants and bring them in the house." ... and my personal favorite... "I don't care if you CAN do it. Just because you CAN doesn't mean you SHOULD!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theYoungerMrsWarde Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 Vaginas are private. I don't think we should sing about them in the Hokey Pokey. (To my daughter when she was about 5). :smilielol5::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawn in OH Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 Vaginas are private. I don't think we should sing about them in the Hokey Pokey. (To my daughter when she was about 5). That is too funny! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chelle in MO Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 Oh, your stories are so funny! Mine: "Do not wipe boogers on the wall!" "Do not carve on the bathroom countertop with the pointy end of your trophy!" "Do not use my van as a backstop for pitching practice!" so I don't get more dents in the rear door... "Do not hit your brother on the head w/the claw end of the hammer!" so we can avoid an ER visit next time "Make sure you clear the boat next time you do a backflip off the side!" so we can avoid an ER visit next time... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daisy Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 Never ever zip-tie your finger or any other appendage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 This afternoon the boys went out to build a snowman. The middle one (12) came inside and shouted, "Mom, you've got to come see our snowman." This is what I ended up screaming, "DO NOT BURY YOUR LITTLE BROTHER IN SNOW!!!UNPACK HIM THIS INSTANT!" They'd buried the 10 year old up to his shoulder, wrapped a red scarf around his neck, and put a black hat on his head. He's a dear child and was grinning because he thought it was funny. I didn't have the heart to tell him because it would be dangerous because his brothers would run off, eventually come inside to get warm, and forget him. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! I sincerely hope that little ds is someday big enough to pound his brothers. I will not interfere...if anything, I may need to bring a cheerleading uniform and sell concessions! Faith Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bluemongoose Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 do they ever start putting it back again? I thought my 3yo was just a destructive kid but then I realized she was taking things apart just to see how they worked - however, she doesn't know how to put it back again - hence all the broken toys in the trash:glare: He has tried many times to fix what he was experimenting with. Even the pancakes was an experiment. Unfortunately, many of his fixings result in howls of frustration when it wont go back as it was before. He is getting better though and has been learning a lot about the way things work. So yes, he is starting to figure out how to put it back, but it is no where near perfect yet! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaMa2005 Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 "Please don't change the settings/wallpaper/ringtone/temperature, etc. on my iPhone!" "Please don't change the settings/wallpaper/icons, etc. on my computer!" One guess as to what his father does for a living :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annabel Lee Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 Granted he was just over a year, but I had to wonder WHY my son had decorated the whole living room, especially inside my shoes, with chocolate milk. When he was 3, he "decorated" the wood trim around the sides of the kitchen countertops with heavily indented lines of black ink pen. I made him scrub it off, but the indentations stayed. I wish I had NOT told my daughter to not stick her tongue to the metal ladder outside. We had just finished watching The Christmas Story. She went straight to it and did exactly that, and did it again (on other metal surfaces) 3 more times before she finally learned! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
littleWMN Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 I said BOTH of these things to my daughter in one breath while we were at the grocery store and I was talking to an acquaintance. She was about 4. "Don't lick the cart" and "Put your shirt back on". :tongue_smilie: Oh, there's a million more but they don't come to mind right now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reeciecup Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 I had to tell my son not to jump from the top of the tree house onto the trampoline. Of course, this was after he had already done it, and caused my daughter to break her leg in 2 places. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theYoungerMrsWarde Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 "Stop putting the kid's chairs in the bathroom to sit and look into the potty!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paz Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 I had to tell my ds when he was 5 not to use the plastic bag parachutes he made to jump off of our very high deck and not to convince his 3 year old sister that she should go first. He was fascinated with parachutes and flying and was convinced that if he made them well enough they would work. Of course, he wanted his sister to try it out first. I couldn't leave him out of my sight that entire summer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kamom Posted February 4, 2011 Author Share Posted February 4, 2011 Telling my nine! yr old dd to please wear the same color socks. Seriously by now I thought she would care.:tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Marple Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 No, Simon, you may not jump from your bedroom window (2nd floor) into the snow drift below. But thank you for asking first. The Great Blizzard of '11 has offered many exciting opportunities for this young man to "express" himself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ritsumei Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 No spitting on your baby brother, not even if he laughs about it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaAkins Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 When my now 7 year old was about 3 years old: Me: "What are you doing?" (asked because I found her with her hands in the toilet). Her (in a sweet, innocent voice): "I washing my hands in da yittle sink!" Me: "Ack! Stop! We don't wash our hands in the TOILET!" Her: "Don't worry, mommy! I use soap and dis sink is my size!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KidsHappen Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 I had to tell my son not to jump from the top of the tree house onto the trampoline. Of course, this was after he had already done it, and caused my daughter to break her leg in 2 places. Yes, I had to tell one of my dd not to jump off the roof onto the trampoline at her friend's house followed by, "Where were her parents?!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LittleIzumi Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol: Can't... breathe.... Yesterday I had to tell my 7yo not to lay down underneath the shopping cart. He was laying under the cart where you would normally put a bag of dog food! Dd5 does this. "I'm too tired to walk!" Do NOT unscrew the legs of the kitchen table while you are sitting under it. I'm sure more will happen today, it is early yet. Heeheehee oh my. *wipes tears* I remembered another one--Where are your pants?? DO NOT take off your pants in the middle of a store!!!! Ah, this girl will give me many years of quotes for these threads, lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joker Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 "No, you cannot marry the dog!" :001_huh: Dd saw something on tv about dog weddings and thought she would like to marry ours. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kamom Posted February 4, 2011 Author Share Posted February 4, 2011 "No, you cannot marry the dog!" :001_huh: Dd saw something on tv about dog weddings and thought she would like to marry ours. :lol::lol::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kamom Posted February 4, 2011 Author Share Posted February 4, 2011 When my now 7 year old was about 3 years old: Me: "What are you doing?" (asked because I found her with her hands in the toilet). Her (in a sweet, innocent voice): "I washing my hands in da yittle sink!" Me: "Ack! Stop! We don't wash our hands in the TOILET!" Her: "Don't worry, mommy! I use soap and dis sink is my size!" Why Oh, why did you remind me!:tongue_smilie: My ds, at about 2 1/2 served me water to drink from the toilet. I don't know if I had a lapse of sanity or what, but I didn't get suspicious until the second glass full! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacie Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 Grandpa's car is called a Beamer, but not because of the sound it makes when you hit it with your bat. :svengo: Honey is not a finger food. Your future is not in the circus...move the stepladder away from the clothesline...put away the umbrella...the line is not sturdy enough to practice your "act"...your younger brother standing underneath you with Daddy's fish dipping net is not enough to safely break your fall... Your underwear should not be used to store office supplies, especially staples and paperclips...and probably rubber bands too. My day-to-day life makes Irma Bombeck look like an amateur. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mimm Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 (edited) Do not ever crawl into the clothes dryer and pee on your sister's newly cleaned clothes. Also: Stop eating my lipstick. Do not write your name on the wall in poop. I don't care how proud you are that you can write your name. Do not write anything on my wall. We have stacks of paper you can use. Edited February 4, 2011 by Mimm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KristinaBreece Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 Vaginas are private. I don't think we should sing about them in the Hokey Pokey. (To my daughter when she was about 5). To my 4-y-o DS: "No, we don't talk about penises. Or nipples. Yes, you have them. Yes, everyone has them. Because it's just not nice to talk about your private spaces! Yes, fine. You can talk about them while you're in the shower." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2jjka Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 Do not lick the dead bugs off of the front of the van. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KristinaBreece Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 Ohhhh I'm loving these. Here are a few I've had to use over the years: "Do not stuff the cat in the freezer!" "Pens are not for couches... or my kitchen walls... or your p*nis." "DON'T POOP IN THE LITTER BOX!!!" "Don't stuff hackberries in your ears!" (Both kids did this for a total of seven berries... surgery was required.) "Just because you're walking the pipe fence doesn't mean you're still in the yard. If you're past the chainlink fence, you're out of bounds." "Quit climbing the crape myrtles! They are not trees!" "Don't play tic-tac-toe on your walls with a knife!" "You may NOT drill holes through your closet wall into your sister's room! I don't care if you used a drumstick instead of a drill - it's still called drilling!" "You PEED in the AIR CONDITIONING VENT??? Don't!!!" "You also peed under your bed and in your [wooden] nightstand drawer?? Again - DON'T!!!" "No, you may not go collect fire ants and bring them in the house." ... and my personal favorite... "I don't care if you CAN do it. Just because you CAN doesn't mean you SHOULD!" These, too. DS will pee anywhere. Just drop his pants & go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 (edited) Do not play your recorder with your nose. Get that plastic bag off your head. Edited February 4, 2011 by Garga Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TXMomof4 Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 I wish I had thought to tell my son not use glue to hang his pictures on the wall when he couldn't find the tape. This. Especially in a rental house with an OCD owner. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 Well toot. I posted this and then I see this thread. Figures. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TXMomof4 Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 Telling my nine! yr old dd to please wear the same color socks. Seriously by now I thought she would care.:tongue_smilie: I gave up on this. Have you seen this? The girls really want to know why I"m not paying money for socks that don't match. Seriously? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kamom Posted February 4, 2011 Author Share Posted February 4, 2011 I gave up on this. Have you seen this? The girls really want to know why I"m not paying money for socks that don't match. Seriously? All I can say is that she is in style! She doesn't know though! Seriously, I never dreamed a 9 yr old girl would have to be told such a thing. This was sooo not me at that age. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.