Do you think most people try to do the best they can with the information they have?

[LibraryLover]

Or do you think most people are lazy slackers?

[LibraryLover]

I think most people do the best they can, and am often amazed at what people can manage.

[Miss Peregrine]

Sometimes. And sometimes it has to sit on the back burner until other change-making info is dealt with.

[Tap]

There are infinate number of answers to this from one end of the spectrum to the other. Every person is different and each person is different on each topic they encouter.

 

 

It is too vast of a question

[mcconnellboys]

Well, LOL, that might depend on the context we're talking about.

 

If we're talking about parents regarding their children, I tend to think that our genetic drive causes us to attempt to do the best for our kids that we possibly can.

 

Now, we all know that some parents who have mental/physical problems may not succeed at this for one reason or another, but I think that in general, most healthy parents in a safe, secure home environment are going to focus on doing the best they can by their children....

[Mrs Mungo]

Or do you think most people are lazy slackers?

 

It depends. I think most people have areas in their life where they do they best they can and other areas in which they are lazy slackers.

[LibraryLover]

It depends. I think most people have areas in their life where they do they best they can and other areas in which they are lazy slackers.

 

 

So you've seen me garden, and you've seen me try to get others to shovel snow.

 

I thought I hid that well....

 

You're mean. :tongue_smilie:

[staceyobu]

Depends... but I think a lot of us have a tendency to be lazy slackers.

 

For example, I know that it would have been best for my children to have a dinner cooked with mostly garden fresh vegetables and then for me to read to them and play games with them for hours after dinner. Instead, we had grilled chicken and tortillas and are sitting and watching tv. However, I did read to them earlier in the day and play with them at the park. But, in the current moment, lazy slackerdom is totally winning.

[Nestof3]

I've seen both types.

[LibraryLover]

I've seen both types.

 

 

Share! :)

[Mrs Mungo]

So you've seen me garden, and you've seen me try to get others to shovel snow.

 

 

I thought I hid that well....

 

You're mean. :tongue_smilie:

 

Hey, I have yard guys and I have like 50 sf of yard in Hawaii. I'm not immune. :tongue_smilie:

[LibraryLover]

Depends... but I think a lot of us have a tendency to be lazy slackers.

 

For example, I know that it would have been best for my children to have a dinner cooked with mostly garden fresh vegetables and then for me to read to them and play games with them for hours after dinner. Instead, we had grilled chicken and tortillas and are sitting and watching tv. However, I did read to them earlier in the day and play with them at the park. But, in the current moment, lazy slackerdom is totally winning.

 

 

Interesting!

 

In a non-slacking world, how might you have done things differently?

[LibraryLover]

Sometimes. And sometimes it has to sit on the back burner until other change-making info is dealt with.

 

 

What sits on the back burner? What do you see, for yourself?, I mean, as change-making?

 

What are you not doing that you wish you were doing? What keeps you from doing it?

[DarlaS]

So you've seen me garden, and you've seen me try to get others to shovel snow.

 

I thought I hid that well....

 

You're mean. :tongue_smilie:

 

I can't speak for everyone else, but I'm a lazy slacker every chance I get. :D (Not in areas that matter of course, but unwashed dishes will not cost me any sleep.)

 

If we were not by nature somewhat lazy, where would be our motivation to invent labor saving devices? Not only is there often a better way of doing something, there is also an easier way!

 

I will take snow shoveling over gardening any day though. Not going to say whether I'd do my best at either. :tongue_smilie:

[texasmama]

I believe that most people do the best they can with the information/resources they have.

[justamouse]

I have seasons. I have seasons of insane pressure and work, and then I have seasons where I recover and I'm sure that looks like I'm slacking, but I'm not. :001_smile: I have seasons where I live in my head and I'm gathering and processing and staring at walls. Then I'll go back to work. Rinse, repeat.

 

People are different. I don't assume the person lying on the beach is slacking. They could be working in their head.

 

In that vein, I'd like to believe that people do the best with what they have and to their own ability.

[Farrar]

First, I think slacking is okay. I'm pro-slacking... as long as you meet your obligations - it's good to have room for slack.

 

Second, I think most people don't know how to evaluate the information they have, so it's hard to judge whether they did their best with it or not.

[T'smom]

This is an interesting discussion. I feel like I'm both. Sometimes I know what the best thing is, but I'm just too tired to choose it. And that's okay. BUT how often is it okay? Sure, it's okay once a week to veg on the couch and do nothing. Not okay to do it 6 days/week. But 2 or 3? Where is the line drawn? We ate a Chuck E Cheese tonight. Would it have been better to stay home, eat veggies, and read? Is it better to respond to your child gently instead of yelling? Well, of course. But everybody yells sometimes.

 

I know when I'm making a choice that's not the 'best' and feel incredibly guilty about it! (eating fast food, watching too much tv, etc.)

 

Y'know, now that I'm thinking about it- maybe Chuck E Cheese was the best choice for this evening. My ds got to spend time playing with his cousin, my dh got to compete at dumb games with his brother, I had girl-talk with my sil. Lots of fun, bonding and good memories. On the other hand, we could've had just as much fun having them over at our house, eating something healthy and playing an educational game.

 

This is giving me a headache! But it's good to think about.

[jld]

I can't think of a single area I couldn't be trying harder in. Lots of laziness here.

 

I totally agree with the poster who said it's the natural human state.:D

[Plucky]

I do think most people try to do the best they can. I also know there are slackers out there. I think some are emotionally, mentally, or psychologically damaged, or maybe they really are selfish. I don't know.

 

I have an uncle that has been such a horrible dad and a single parent. He's probably selfish, but I can't help but maybe think he is just not capable. My family thinks I give him too much credit, either way his kids have suffered greatly. :(

 

I think though that most people try their best, otherwise our world would be a very chaotic place. The fact that we function as a society and people obey laws or rules, or just their conscience tells me that most do try. Or maybe I'm just naive.

 

I do think most of our politicians are sociopaths. LOL

[jld]

I do think most of our politicians are sociopaths. LOL

 

:lol:

[Garga]

Do the best with the info they have for the most part. We all have lazy moments or certain things that we just are lazy about. I hate cleaning the playroom. I am a lazy slacker about the playroom. But I do clean the rest of the house and put 3 meals on the table every day and teach my kids, etc. Most of us have areas like that. But most of us do the best we can most of the time. Maybe not Super Human Perfectionist Best, but we do a good job.

 

With that said, we don't all live our lives the same way. After reading all the posts on these boards for the past couple of years, I've finally learned that THAT'S OK. Living your life differently doesn't mean you're wrong. Two years ago, I thought you were wrong if you were different from me. But it turns out that I was wrong. You can live differently and it's alright.

 

So, "lazy-slacker" to me could be "doing the best they can" for someone else. I've learned that there are a lot of different ways to see the same thing and a lot of different ways to handle situations and a lot of different ways to live life.

 

For example, lots of people think that homeschoolers are lazy slackers who just don't want to get their kids out the door. We know that's all hogwash and we are doing the best we can with the info we have. But to outsiders, we're a bunch of lazy slackers.

Edited December 9, 2010 by Garga

[Plucky]

I can't think of a single area I couldn't be trying harder in. Lots of laziness here.

 

I totally agree with the poster who said it's the natural human state.:D

 

Of course, we can all improve or try harder, but we have to find balance. Do your best and don't kill yourself over everything. Ya know?

 

I don't call it being lazy. I call it being efficient and knowing how to pick and choose where to spend my resources. :lol:

[jld]

I don't call it being lazy. I call it being efficient and knowing how to pick and choose where to spend my resources. :lol:

 

:D

[Peela]

I dont think anyone wakes up in the morning and says to themselves " I am going to really try and mess my life up today, and anyone else's I can too ". One way or another, everyone is doing their best given their character (which they were born with), their upbringing (which they had no choice about) and the information they have (which may relate to the two previous).

 

I think everyone is always doing their best, even when they are really behaving in a way that seems self destructive or damaging or hurtful. From their perspective, their behaviour seems like the only way they could possibly behave given their life situation.

 

I think that's partly at least why Jesus said "forgive them, they know not what they do".

[regentrude]

I think people try to do the best - sometimes. But I do not think people really try hard enough to live up to their full potential - not most of the time.

I certainly don't. I could, for instance, be spending my time on more productive things than reading online forums.

[justamouse]

I think people try to do the best - sometimes. But I do not think people really try hard enough to live up to their full potential - not most of the time.

I certainly don't. I could, for instance, be spending my time on more productive things than reading online forums.

 

really? I have learned so much here--just so much. I might have mined some of the stuff myself, but never as much as I've found here.

[Jean in Newcastle]

It depends on the character of the person. I have a family member who just got out of jail. He was there for taking a huge short cut to riches. He does not want to do his best to do things the hard way. I don't wish for things to be hard for him but I do wish that he would be willing to work hard.

[Ibbygirl]

But I do not think people really try hard enough to live up to their full potential - not most of the time.

 

I don't feel qualified to talk about anybody else other than myself here, but your remark really struck a chord with me. I feel like this a lot of the time, but then I don't really know what else I can do to change it in my given circumstances.

 

I have pretty much only one gift. I'm only average or below average in everything else I think. Or at least it seems to me like everyone else around me is doing it better than I can. But one thing that I am gifted in is music. It has always come naturally to me and I have a really good ear. I used to write songs prolifically when I was younger and I would hear them finished in my head while I was writing them. I really wanted to be a musician as a career, but my parents were against and never allowed me to pursue it. I used to play cello in the orchestra and my teacher (even though she and I were like oil and water) put me as first chair which was a great honor reserved for the best player in the section. I won medals at competitions etc. I was really driven to play and loved it so much, but my parents felt I needed to have "a real job" and needed to develop marketable skills. So that was that. They took me out of orchestra.

 

I kept all my sheet music though and swore that some day I would buy a cello of my own (I had rented mine from the school), but they were horribly expensive. Well, more than 10 years after my parents made me quit orchestra I bought a cello of my own. But by then I was already married and my daughter came the next year and then my son. Both of my kids are special needs and they take up all of my time.

 

I really feel guilty because my cello just sits in my closet in it's case. But I can't take it out when my kids are awake because it is just too costly an instrument and they are just too rambunctious, but then I can't play when they're sleeping either because it's too loud. So it sits in my closet. I always feel like I should find a way to play, and like I should try harder to find a way, but I just don't know how to do it practically without something else suffering. My days are so full and it seems like I just go around and around cooking, cleaning up messes, doing laundry, ironing the laundry I just did, cleaning up all my kids spills, checking on them constantly making sure they're okay and on top of all of that stuff, I homeschool all day long. On the weekends, I usually have other things I have to do like food shopping and food prep work, church and other things. And I always take at least one day to sleep in because if I don't I usually catch a cold or I get really depressed.

 

But I always have a nagging guilt about not living up to my potential and not developing my gift. I taught myself guitar years ago and I do play that often because I have a beater on a stand that I don't care if my kids knock over, but even with that instrument there is so much more that I want to do and feel like I should be doing, but nevertheless, it's always the same story.

 

I've always chocked it up to just this season in my life, but honestly, with my kids' disabilities, this living arrangement will be the same way for the foreseeable future and my son will probably live at home with us for the rest of our lives. I just wish I could figure out a way to do more with what I have, but I just feel so hindered by everything else.

 

But, my kids are both very happy and my daughter's test scores at evaluation time are always through the roof, so I know that I am succeeding on that front anyway. :)

 

Yikes, I just posted this and didn't realize it turned out so long. :eek: sorrryyyyyyyyyyy. :blushing:

[Peela]

Two things strike me reading other's posts but I don't want to pick on anyone in particular.

 

One is that many people have a very, very negative connotation on "lazy". Didn't we just have a thread a few days ago on why are people so stressed? People are stressed because they dont allow themselves to be lazy more often! Why on earth are we so fixated on hard work and not being lazy- which often translates to not allowing ourselves to NOT be busy? Why not "be lazy" and enjoy life more? Does someone up there give up brownie points for working so hard at often pretty meaningless jobs, making money to buy more stuff? I understand a wholesome attitude to work...I also think what our society lacks is a wholesome attitude to laziness. It takes "laziness" to sit on the ground and play with our kids, or chat to the neighbour over the fence for an hour, or watch the rain, when we could be doing something much more "productive." We need to be more consciously lazy rather than guiltily spending hours on the computer avoiding stuff.

 

The other point is about "living up to our potential". What does that actually mean? Isnt that something that parents say to their kids to get them to study more? I think too often people think that whatever they are flat out doing couldn't possibly be enough because they are not happy anyway...so they cant be living up to their potential. We use it to beat ourselves up. And does "living up to one's potential" mean being more productive in some area- having something to 'show' for one's life?

 

What if living up to our potential means spending more time doing absolutely nothing? Just enjoying life more? How can you be creatively inspired if you are busy all the time? It takes lots of empty time to allow creativity to really flow...it's not something you can force.

 

It seems to me that we werent actually put here to suffer. We were put here to enjoy life and love. We have an inner guidance system...its called following your joy. Doing more of what makes you actually joyful and less of what makes you unhappy- its very natural. But that doesn't work for governments- its hard to control a happy population- so we have all these rules and conditionings and obeying them is then supposed to make us happy but it doesnt, it just makes us controllable.

 

Its ok to be lazy and its ok to not live up to our potential. Its ok to relax and have fun and be happy and then our natural intelligence takes over and we do do things...we don't just sit around and do nothing for the rest of our lives.

[nd293]

I can't think of a single area I couldn't be trying harder in. Lots of laziness here.

 

I totally agree with the poster who said it's the natural human state.:D

 

I was going backwards and forwards on this one, but (ouch!) this pretty much covers my life, yes.

[Rosie_0801]

I think most people are suffering from one of the worst non-medical conditions around: apathy.

 

I don't feel qualified to talk about anybody else other than myself here, but your remark really struck a chord with me. I feel like this a lot of the time, but then I don't really know what else I can do to change it in my given circumstances.

 

You, Ms Ibby, are anything but lazy. In fact, I'd go so far as to say you are a crazy workaholic. Now, for problem solving, is it possible to give your church duties to someone else (and I'm not necessarily advocating for taking no as an answer) and playing your cello at some point during the service? Even as mood music while everyone files in and sits down? (I don't know what people do in churches ;) ) I'd be considering that the powers that be in your church ought to know that you feel called to develop your God given talent and I'm sure they already know your limited circumstances; and of course music and the accomplishments resulting from our talents are meant to be shared.

 

It seems to me that we werent actually put here to suffer.

 

Ha. You remind me of that Redgum song (for non-Aussies, an Australian folk band from the late 70's and 70's)

 

"Life wasn't meant to be impossible

Spare us the indignity!"

 

Rosie

[Ibbygirl]

You, Ms Ibby, are anything but lazy. In fact, I'd go so far as to say you are a crazy workaholic. Now, for problem solving, is it possible to give your church duties to someone else (and I'm not necessarily advocating for taking no as an answer) and playing your cello at some point during the service? Even as mood music while everyone files in and sits down? (I don't know what people do in churches ;) ) I'd be considering that the powers that be in your church ought to know that you feel called to develop your God given talent and I'm sure they already know your limited circumstances; and of course music and the accomplishments resulting from our talents are meant to be shared.

 

 

Actually, I don't mean to be a workaholic. I think I would be just as lazy as anyone if I had less to do, but needs must kwim? As for church, I'm actually going to be giving up all of my service after this year. I know shocker right? lol I have loved it while I did it, but I agreed to 3 years and this is my third year. My middle school girls will go into high school next school year and I never had any intentions of following them into the high school ministry. So I am really trying to find ways to cut back on a lot of things. I've stopped doing cars after those 3 I did over summer, I haven't cooked for anyone for a few weeks either. I didn't make much money at it anyway to make it worth my while. I still have a guitar class that I am committed to teach, but that is once a week for an hour and after that class is done, I probably won't do that anymore either. I'm really trying to find ways to cut back. You know it's been hard since my husband had to start taking days off without pay. It's an $8,000 a year pay cut, but the things that I've tried to do on the side to earn extra money just aren't worth the time and effort that it takes to do them and my dh always says my time is more valuable spent at home with the family. So hopefully after this school year ends I will be able to find some time on Wednesdays to play music and just enjoy it. I'm planning to not even go to service on Wednesday either. At least not for awhile so I can kind of step back and regroup, kwim?

[Peela]

 

Ha. You remind me of that Redgum song (for non-Aussies, an Australian folk band from the late 70's and 70's)

 

"Life wasn't meant to be impossible

Spare us the indignity!"

 

Rosie

 

Lol, I loved Redgum! I grew up in Sydney and saw them several times!

[KidsHappen]

I think most people try the best they can with the resources they have available but that they also try to balance all aspects of their lives which generally means that they do good enough in most areas but not excell at everything. I think that truly lazy, deadbeat people really stand out from the crowd. I don't think that they are the norm.

[mommaduck]

Or do you think most people are lazy slackers?

I think there is a good percentage to that do the best with the knowledge they have, but I think there is a majority that is too lazy to even do that.

[regentrude]

Why not "be lazy" and enjoy life more?... It takes "laziness" to sit on the ground and play with our kids, or chat to the neighbour over the fence for an hour, or watch the rain, when we could be doing something much more "productive."

 

So ARE people really, truly enjoying themselves when they, for instance, watch all those hours of TV that bring the average viewing time of an adult to 4-6 hours a day??? (I just know that I don't feel particularly good after having wasted hours sitting in front of my computer).

Of course one does not have to work all the time - but I see a huge difference between sitting on the floor and playing with my children (something I consider a very good use of time) and mindless media consumption, for instance.

I know people who really love life and spend their leisure time doing things they enjoy - but I also know people who pass a lot of free time without deriving any actual joy from it. They seem to just "exist" - whereas people who have found something they enjoy seem more "alive".

Not sure if I can express this well.

[jld]

really? I have learned so much here--just so much. I might have mined some of the stuff myself, but never as much as I've found here.

 

My experience as well. These forums are a gift.

[myfunnybunch]

I am trying to do the best I can with the information I have.

 

Everyone else is a lazy slacker.

 

That's said tongue-in-cheek, of course. Sort of. I used to find myself slipping into that attitude.

 

And then there are the times when I feel like everyone else does everything perfectly, and I am a lazy slacker.

 

Now I try to be more watchful of my own attitude and extend others the same grace I'd like to be extended myself. And extend myself the same grace I try to extend to others.

 

Cat

[WarriorMama]

Or do you think most people are lazy slackers?

 

It's an interesting question! I think most people do the best they can with the information they have...but that the majority of people don't often question the information they have or look for more information with which to form their opinions.

 

I also think everybody has very different priorities. So while somebody may seem like a 'lazy slacker' in areas I work very hard in, maybe they're working very hard in areas where I don't, and I seem like a lazy slacker to them. I admire the qualities and strengths that others have.

[Peela]

So ARE people really, truly enjoying themselves when they, for instance, watch all those hours of TV that bring the average viewing time of an adult to 4-6 hours a day??? (I just know that I don't feel particularly good after having wasted hours sitting in front of my computer).

Of course one does not have to work all the time - but I see a huge difference between sitting on the floor and playing with my children (something I consider a very good use of time) and mindless media consumption, for instance.

I know people who really love life and spend their leisure time doing things they enjoy - but I also know people who pass a lot of free time without deriving any actual joy from it. They seem to just "exist" - whereas people who have found something they enjoy seem more "alive".

Not sure if I can express this well.

 

Yes, of course...I know what you mean.

Its just the lack of discrimination about using the word lazy I was picking on. There is laziness and there is laziness. I too don't feel good about spending half a day on message boards either- it doesnt make me feel I am really living and alive...but I do think "non productive time" isnt valued enough, either, thats all.

The idea that we could improve in every area of our lives if only we werent so lazy, I find to be a little self flagellating, personally, rather than kind to oneself. I just see people using anything to hurt themselves, to feel more guilt, less ok about themselves, and I dont ultimately think its helpful- it seems like it will help but it doesnt.

There is a time and place for a good kick up the proverbial butt, but its not usually useful to live in a constant state of "I coudl be better if only I tried more all the time".IN fact, that kind of underlying attitude towards oneself is like to lead to eating whole tubs of ice cream and watching lots of TV rather than doing something beautiful. Really, we are only human and we tend to put things on ourselves that seem like they will help- like guilt- but ultimately dont help much.

I dont like the word lazy at all. It has such a negative connotation, and yet there is such a use for laziness in our world, too.