Would you expect a 7th grader to know that Santa isn't real?

[Murphy101]

Yeah, but who's the one who leaves the eggs....the Easter bunny!

 

Grandpa, older siblings/cousins, mom and dad.... All my kids secretly know this.:001_huh:

[Tree House Academy]

My older son knew by the end of 2nd grade. My younger will as well. Good grief! I would have absolutely expected a 7th grader to know Santa was a legend. Whether she/he chooses to keep up the pretending or not is a whole different story - but there is a difference between knowing the truth and just choosing to pretend vs not knowing the truth at all.

[QuirkyKapers]

What?! Santa isn't real! Thanks for spoiling the holidays' for me. I guess I won't be having a Polar Express Christmas this year. Now I need some of that brew :D

 

On a more serious note, I would expect that most 7th graders would know Santa isn't real unless there are other issues.

Edited November 5, 2010 by QuirkyKapers
I didn't read all 15 pages...So, this may be a repeat of everyone else....

[saja1029]

On a more serious note, I would expect that most 7th graders would know Santa isn't real unless there are other issues.

 

So many have made this comment. Would you feel the same way if it was YOUR CHILD? Would you think there was an issue, delay, immaturity, special needs, other issue? Probably not :(

[Mrs Mungo]

So many have made this comment. Would you feel the same way if it was YOUR CHILD? Would you think there was an issue, delay, immaturity, special needs, other issue? Probably not :(

 

Yes, I would! I have a 12 year old and a 14 year old and I WOULD think they had issues with reality if they still TRULY believed in the mythical Santa to the point that I felt the need to call and complain about the legend being referenced in a religion class!

[Gratia271]

So many have made this comment. Would you feel the same way if it was YOUR CHILD? Would you think there was an issue, delay, immaturity, special needs, other issue? Probably not :(

Yes, I would.

[Jen in PA]

Yes, I would! I have a 12 year old and a 14 year old and I WOULD think they had issues with reality if they still TRULY believed in the mythical Santa to the point that I felt the need to call and complain about the legend being referenced in a religion class!

 

:iagree: My own dc are younger and we don't "do" Santa.... but I did make a big deal out of it for my stepson because it was what he was used to. He finally admitted that he knew the truth in 1st grade, which was later than anyone in my own family or DH's family had figured it out. I do think it is sweet if a family can keep the belief going a bit past that age, but I think that once the child can handle logical concepts it is impossible to maintain the Santa facade. Even if it is a big deal for the family, they certainly can't expect other adults to cover for them!

[saja1029]

I'm not trying to fight here....LOL...I just find the whole thing sad. I hate to see the magic of Santa end for any child :(

[Lawana]

So many have made this comment. Would you feel the same way if it was YOUR CHILD? Would you think there was an issue, delay, immaturity, special needs, other issue? Probably not :(

I would. My dc are advanced in a few things, on target on others, and behind and immature in yet others. I am concerned about their issues, and try not to be offended if someone points them out. ;)

[Maverick_Mom]

Coming in way late to this discussion (and too lazy to read the pages and pages and pages and pages and pages of posts :D), but just want to say that my son is 11 and still believes in Santa. He has Asperger's and is very child-like. I'd say that developmentally he is probably more like a 7 or 8 year old, and he's always had a very fanciful view of the world. Interestingly, he does *not* believe in the Tooth Fairy or the Easter Bunny -- probably because Mom was sloppy in executing those duties. ;)

[myfunnybunch]

So many have made this comment. Would you feel the same way if it was YOUR CHILD? Would you think there was an issue, delay, immaturity, special needs, other issue? Probably not :(

 

As mom of a special needs child (who believed in Santa into her teens, so the comment certainly wouldn't bother me :) ), I read the comments and questions about special needs to mean that many children with special needs or delays believe in Santa past the age when most of their peers have figured it out, and that could be a possible reason for a young person's continued belief.

 

I have read the entire thread and haven't seen any post meant to insult a believing child by calling them "special needs." I think many are just mentioning or trying to rule out a possible likely explanation.

 

Cat

[amey311]

Yeah, but who's the one who leaves the eggs....the Easter bunny!

 

What other kind of magic are you talking about?? Not being snarky, just wondering ;)

 

I assume you're joking in the first part. But if you're not, I don't know what to do. You can't possibly tell me that your whole family just goes to sleep on Saturday night and you wake up and magically a large rabbit has hidden plastic eggs with jelly beans around your house for you and your partner to find? If so, I'd like to spend the night at your house.

 

As for B: i'm speaking here of things like Harry Potter.

[mamalbh]

YES, I'd absolutely expect a 7th grader to know.

 

 

We don't lie to our kids. PERIOD. I, personally don't understand parents who go to all lengths to make their kids believe, then a year or two later tell them it was all a lie. What kind of message does that send to their kid? Of course, I show respect for their wishes and play along around the people I know IRL who do this .

 

My dc know about all the various holiday legends, but they've known from the beginning they're not real. I do teach my kiddos to be careful not to tell others that might still believe, I tell them that's between the kids and their parents. BUT I couldn't possibly imagine a child over the age of 9 or 10 not knowing. *I* would be very concerned about *my* children if they believed something like that at that age.

 

*****

 

Now - since logic has been brought up in this thread, I need to address something. There are people equating belief in Santa to religious, philosophical, and origin beliefs.

However there is a big hole in this line of thinking:

 

All parents' *truth* is that Santa is NOT real. Therefore teaching their children that he is, is teaching their dc something that they believe is *FALSE*

 

Whether a parent's *truth* is that we all evolved from a spec, or that we were created by God, or that aliens grew us in a lab - teaching their dc their own beliefs is telling them something *TRUE* to them

 

Santa can be disproved. As far as I know, religions & theories of origins can't.

 

There is a BIG difference.

 

*****

 

So now someone will try to say they really do believe that some fat guy in a red coat flies through the sky and climbs down their chimney :tongue_smilie:

Edited November 5, 2010 by mamalbh

[Miss Sherry]

So many have made this comment. Would you feel the same way if it was YOUR CHILD? Would you think there was an issue, delay, immaturity, special needs, other issue? Probably not :(

You do realize we are talking about 12 or 13 year old's and not 3 or 4 or 5 year old's, right ?

Actually, Yes - I would think there was something out of the ordinary going on if my 12 or 13 year old thought Santa was a reality. That's not something to be angry or insulted about. Some people DO have neurological or developmental differences, which is NOT an insult to acknowledge, it's just life. These types of people are no less loved or valued so there's no need to be insulted. When there are differences we need to make adjustments to make their experiences as appropriate for THEM as much as we are able to.

[Miss Sherry]

Originally Posted by OpenMinded

I know this thread has gotten into different debates about the maturity and logic and the age group, but honestly in the not too distant past children took on responsibility a lot earlier and were considered young adults by the teen years.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for

authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place

of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their

households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They

contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties

at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers.

 

ATTRIBUTION: Attributed to SOCRATES by Plato, according to William L.

Patty and Louise S. Johnson, Personality and Adjustment, p. 277

(1953)."

Goodness. I guess you did have a few of those lemon drops you were trying to pass around. :lol:

Edited November 5, 2010 by Miss Sherry

[3littlekeets]

Well, reviving this thread because DS12 just caught elves doing their magic. He's fine...has had suspicions for a few years..DH is D.e.v.a.s.t.a.t.e.d! His first baby has "grown-up":lol:

[OregonNative]

I think this kid is in for many more shocks in his life if he still really believes in Santa. Just sayin'

Edited December 6, 2010 by OregonNative

[tex-mex]

Is this a special needs 7th grader? My reason for asking is that I've met some parents of aspies who have found that the "shattering" of child hood myths is pretty emotionally grueling to deal with at home and have allowed their children to believe in Santa, the Tooth Fairy, etc. far longer than would be expected. It has a lot to do with lagging emotional maturity. Under normal circumstances, I would say "WHOA!"

 

Faith

 

My Aspie son was like this. Every year, he was excited for Santa to come. I recall my MIL loudly demanding (when son was 6) why he still believed in Santa. In front of him. By the age of 7/8, we began to hint that he was too old to believe. I would teach him of other myths and legends -- Santa was based on St. Nicholas, how the church created his sainthood and today we have an American version of Santa Claus. He would burst into tears when the topic came up. I felt horrible. He still wanted to leave cookies out for Santa.

 

Each year after that became a little better to talk about it ("You remember the talk we had last year about St. Nicholas?")... but he would still get upset emotionally about it. Hubby insisted on keeping his childhood tradition of son waking up to seeing toys unwrapped on the mantel from Santa. That was precious. MIL cracked me up. Each year, she'd complain -- and we went to her house for Christmas -- but she and hubby would do the Santa tradition til son said there was no more Santa. Finally, at age 11/12, he came to terms with there not being a Santa.

 

He understands it is better to give than receive. Birthday parties were easy and FUN when he was little (but as he got older, he had few friends) turned into inviting one buddy for a trip to the lake or Six Flags. Halloween was like this -- he would be disappointed as a teen not being able to dress up and going door to door (we now volunteer at Halloween festivals and he likes this), the tooth fairy was up to the age of 10 (I mean, C'MON sonny... you know your mom leaves the money, right??? :001_huh:), etc. But as an Asperger's Syndrome kiddo, he is socially and emotionally immature. Now as a teen, he is "not a kid anymore, Mom". LOL It took forever. But I sure loved the memories. That poor kiddo in that catechesm class may have been Aspie too? :confused:

Edited December 6, 2010 by tex-mex

[tex-mex]

I don't think any age is ever "safe" to assume whether or not someone still believes in any myths and legends. What is real to one may be fluff and nonsense to another, but that does not lessen the reality to the one who truly believes. It is rather cruel to crush what someone holds dear, no matter how silly you might think they are for believing in it. I think it might behoove adults to remember that more often. After all, there are plenty of people who may think that their "adult" beliefs in deities are just as fanciful and immature as a child's belief in Santa. I'm sure it would hurt just as much as this child may have been hurt.

Very nicely stated, :iagree:

[DawnM]

This seems to be a hot topic on just about every message board I am on. I am not going to critique other parenting styles and I tell my kids not to talk about it around other kids, but for us, we tend to be realists......

 

Every Christmas we read a book called Santa, Are You for Real? It is the story of the real St. Nicholas and how the tradition of Santa started.

 

My MIL thinks we are nuts, but she thinks we are nuts about just about everything else, so whatever......She looked my kids directly in the eye and said with contempt, "You don't believe in Santa? Well, I feel SORRY for you because Santa won't come if you don't believe." Um, yeah, that will help....thanks. ARGH!

 

We aren't anti-secular items at Christmas.....we have the tree up, we decorate, and we even have some items with Santa on them....but we aren't a Santa believing household, as in he comes down the chimney and magically leaves gifts.

 

As for the original question: I think 7th grade is way too old to still be thinking Santa is real.

 

Dawn

[Word Nerd]

Yes, I would.

Edited December 6, 2010 by WordGirl

[Catwoman]

So many have made this comment. Would you feel the same way if it was YOUR CHILD? Would you think there was an issue, delay, immaturity, special needs, other issue? Probably not :(

 

Originally Posted by Audrey

I don't think any age is ever "safe" to assume whether or not someone still believes in any myths and legends. What is real to one may be fluff and nonsense to another, but that does not lessen the reality to the one who truly believes. It is rather cruel to crush what someone holds dear, no matter how silly you might think they are for believing in it. I think it might behoove adults to remember that more often. After all, there are plenty of people who may think that their "adult" beliefs in deities are just as fanciful and immature as a child's belief in Santa. I'm sure it would hurt just as much as this child may have been hurt.

 

:iagree:

 

Ok, the kid still believes in Santa. There are worse things in life than that. Maybe she has some sort of issues or developmental delays, or maybe she's just a fun and imaginative kid who loves the magic of Christmas. Or maybe her parents always insisted that there really is a Santa every time she asked them about it. We just don't know.

 

I think most of us would agree that the "average" 7th grader doesn't believe in Santa any more, but averages aren't everyone, and this seems so harmless to me.

 

Either way, I don't think it's a big deal, and am surprised that this has turned into an 18-page thread.

 

Cat

Edited December 6, 2010 by Catwoman

[Catwoman]

Well, reviving this thread because DS12 just caught elves doing their magic. He's fine...has had suspicions for a few years..DH is D.e.v.a.s.t.a.t.e.d! His first baby has "grown-up":lol:

 

Curse you, Sloppy Elves!!!!! :D:D:D

 

Cat

[littlebug42]

I don't really think it matters how old a child is to still believe in Santa. However, as a parent, I would be aware that the bubble could be burst at any time because most 7th graders no longer believe. Personally, my childhood sucked because I had way too many doses of reality at ages where I couldn't process. I want my children to have a childhood where they can just be children. If that includes Santa in 7th grade then so be it.

[Catwoman]

All parents' *truth* is that Santa is NOT real. Therefore teaching their children that he is, is teaching their dc something that they believe is *FALSE*

 

 

I think it's time to lighten up a bit on this. Those of us who "do Santa" aren't sitting around laughing together about how we've duped our stupid children into believing a big, fat, evil lie.

 

It's FUN. You may not agree with it, and I know some people talk about the horror and trauma of learning the "truth," but many of us have very happy memories of Santa-filled Christmases and kind of resent being told we're bad people for lying to our poor defenseless children.

 

(And please know that I'm not picking on you as an individual -- I know you don't go around telling children that there is no Santa! :) I am just pointing out that "lying" about Santa is not such a horrible thing to many of us, and I have seen so many posts over the years that make it sound like we're somehow bad parents if we do Santa.)

 

Cat

[Catwoman]

I don't really think it matters how old a child is to still believe in Santa. However, as a parent, I would be aware that the bubble could be burst at any time because most 7th graders no longer believe.

 

That is an excellent point.

 

And for the record, I still believe in Santa. :D

 

Cat

[Mandy in TN]

Old thread. However, to the OP- your dh was teaching a religion class to 7th graders. What he taught was appropriate in that setting. If the parents of said child didn't yet want her to interact with that subject matter, they shouldn't have put her in a religion class. Perhaps in the future your dh can include a disclaimer during registration.

 

I still don't think the real issue here is whether or not the child believes in Santa, or even whether the parents are right or wrong to allow or encourage him believe.

 

To me the issue is that the expectation that a pastor teaching a confirmation class not make a connection between a historical religious figure and the legend that grew up around him is an unreasonable expectation. His intention wasn't to crush belief in Santa or to reveal the "truth."

 

A simple, "Many people don't believe Santa is real. What do you think, dear child?" from the parents to the child would have gone a lot further to lessen the blow than an indignant phone call to the pastor.

 

Cat

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

 

At my house we ALL believe in Santa, and we'll keep believing as long as we want. Now, I've never asked my 11 yo if he still actually believes or not, and I can pretty much tell by the half smile when we talk about it he doesn't but it's not because we've told him-he's older, he knows. And he better not say a darned WORD about it because I still believe in Santa. :D

OTOH-

 

My mother has NEVER told me that Santa doesn't exist. While I don't feel hurt, I also don't remember a time when I actually thought a fat man in a red suit came to my house. I know that when my brother and I cornered my Mimi about Santa we were 5yo and 6yo and we didn't believe then. However, on Christmas morning I still "believe" even though, of course, I was one of the elves the night before. I assure you that while my 8yo hasn't believed for at least the last two years he still "believes" as do my 17yo and 19yo who were both promoted to elf helpers long ago.

 

To believe in the magic of pretend and to delight in reindeer food, setting out cookies, and getting a picture with Santa at the mall or even to spin elaborate tales explaining how the fat man accomplishes the task of delivering presents is different than lying about poor children not getting anything (What? Were they bad or do you live somewhere where there is no poverty?) or that Jewish/ Muslim children are not visited (Santa is a bigot. I mean what else do you say unless you really don't know anyone who doesn't celebrate Christmas.). In addition to living in a bright sparkling suburbia where everyone participates in Christmas, a child would need to be kept away from all television and the library to not be exposed to something that would carry logical thought toward reality.

 

Barring any delays or differences, unless a child is intentionally kept in a bubble, I truthfully don't understand how he could actually believe in Santa as he is represented in the Rudolf cartoon much past being able to read. It is much more likely that the child carries on with the charade so that he doesn't hurt his parents' feelings or because he is concerned that he won't receive gifts if he doesn't play along. Some children are very convincing actors.

 

Mandy

Edited December 6, 2010 by Mandy in TN

[Sahamamama]

YES!

[RahRah]

*****

 

Now - since logic has been brought up in this thread, I need to address something. There are people equating belief in Santa to religious, philosophical, and origin beliefs.

However there is a big hole in this line of thinking:

 

All parents' *truth* is that Santa is NOT real. Therefore teaching their children that he is, is teaching their dc something that they believe is *FALSE*

 

Whether a parent's *truth* is that we all evolved from a spec, or that we were created by God, or that aliens grew us in a lab - teaching their dc their own beliefs is telling them something *TRUE* to them

 

Santa can be disproved. As far as I know, religions & theories of origins can't.

 

There is a BIG difference.

 

*****

 

So now someone will try to say they really do believe that some fat guy in a red coat flies through the sky and climbs down their chimney :tongue_smilie:

 

While Santa, as he's perpetuated in the US and all the commercialism surrounding the holiday, can be disproved --- we still maintain the tradition of Santa Claus (aka St. Nicholas) in our family.

 

Myths, legends, and tall tales have a place in our society and have since the beginning of time - our ancestors - no matter where you come from - all used story-telling as a means to deliver messages to the next generation.....they serve a purpose to communicate through generations in age-appropriate ways about a wide variety of things, including behavior, charity to others, giving of self, thinking of others, etc.

 

Our DS-6 believes in Santa Claus - and we spend time on various stories related to him around the world....how in the Netherlands and Belgium children call him Sinterklaas and their traditions are different than ours in the US; or how in some places they celebrate his birthday on December 6th instead of December 25th. We talk about various traditions in places that don't have Christmas too....along with the importance of the spirit of the beliefs we hold - that Santa represents giving to others, being charitable, and sharing the birth of Christ....it isn't just about the presents you get.

 

We do this on an age-appropriate level....I do not feel his belief in the existence of Santa and our doing our traditional celebrations to include him are any different than our choosing not to burst his bubble around his slowly disappearing invisible friends. How are they any different than Santa? He believes with all his heart that his invisible friends are real - though as he grows and matures, they're around a heck of a lot less and are now only inches tall (going away slowly).....he believes in Santa too.

 

Part of the process of growing up and maturing is processing information in ways you're ready to --- and part of that for children is the belief in things they cannot see, in miracles without proof and in magical thinking that comes true with wishes fulfilled. DS will grow up and he'll get it....I just don't really see any reason to make him stop believing at this age - at the end of the day, the belief is real, even for us as his parents, and even for those around us on Christmas morning - it's real and alive and magical when he awakes and is bursting with joy....and when everything good about this season comes together - celebrating the birth of Jesus, giving to each other, giving to others, being together and all that.....that is, IMO the underlying spirit that Santa brings us each year.

Edited December 6, 2010 by RahRah

[Tap]

By 7th grade, children should know that there are people in the world who don't believe the same things that they do and to be able to politely receive others' opinions, consider them, and quietly agree or disagree. I think that parents of 7th graders should be able to encourage their children who are confronted with beliefs that contradict the child's beliefs and assist them in handling the receiving and processing of those contradictory opinions and working them (positively or negatively) into their own belief system in a mature and logical way without having to confront every instrument of contradiction personally.

 

I am actually more concerned with the mother's response than I am by the fact that the child chooses to continue to believe in Santa.

 

Well, I don't think it should come as a surprise to the parents of a seventh grader that Santa be spoken of as a myth by some people.

 

:iagree:

[piraterose]

I'm surprise this wasn't brought up once (unless I missed it). For those who mentioned that children grew up faster in bygone eras - Here is a little 8-yo who still believed in 1897.

 

This is what I plan to read to my daughter when she starts to question Santa Claus - and see where the conversation leads from here.

 

 

"DEAR EDITOR: I am 8 years old.

"Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus.

"Papa says, 'If you see it in THE SUN it's so.'

"Please tell me the truth; is there a Santa Claus?

 

"VIRGINIA O'HANLON.

"115 WEST NINETY-FIFTH STREET."

 

VIRGINIA, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except [what] they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men's or children's, are little. In this great universe of ours man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect, as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.

 

Yes, VIRGINIA, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus. It would be as dreary as if there were no VIRGINIAS. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The eternal light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.

 

Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies! You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas Eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if they did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that's no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.

 

You may tear apart the baby's rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived, could tear apart. Only faith, fancy, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, VIRGINIA, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.

 

No Santa Claus! Thank God! he lives, and he lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay, ten times ten thousand years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.

[phathui5]

I thought once they were 10, most kids knew it was a story.

[Rhonda in TX]

My Aspie son was like this. Every year, he was excited for Santa to come. I recall my MIL loudly demanding (when son was 6) why he still believed in Santa. In front of him. By the age of 7/8, we began to hint that he was too old to believe. I would teach him of other myths and legends -- Santa was based on St. Nicholas, how the church created his sainthood and today we have an American version of Santa Claus. He would burst into tears when the topic came up. I felt horrible. He still wanted to leave cookies out for Santa.

 

Each year after that became a little better to talk about it ("You remember the talk we had last year about St. Nicholas?")... but he would still get upset emotionally about it. Hubby insisted on keeping his childhood tradition of son waking up to seeing toys unwrapped on the mantel from Santa. That was precious. MIL cracked me up. Each year, she'd complain -- and we went to her house for Christmas -- but she and hubby would do the Santa tradition til son said there was no more Santa. Finally, at age 11/12, he came to terms with there not being a Santa.

 

He understands it is better to give than receive. Birthday parties were easy and FUN when he was little (but as he got older, he had few friends) turned into inviting one buddy for a trip to the lake or Six Flags. Halloween was like this -- he would be disappointed as a teen not being able to dress up and going door to door (we now volunteer at Halloween festivals and he likes this), the tooth fairy was up to the age of 10 (I mean, C'MON sonny... you know your mom leaves the money, right??? :001_huh:), etc. But as an Asperger's Syndrome kiddo, he is socially and emotionally immature. Now as a teen, he is "not a kid anymore, Mom". LOL It took forever. But I sure loved the memories. That poor kiddo in that catechesm class may have been Aspie too? :confused:

 

This could be my Aspie's story as well. I finally had to break down and tell him (as gently as I could) when he was almost 13. Kids were starting to make fun of him for still believing. He did not take it well. :sad:

[RayDad]

I find it absurd to perpetuate such a lie past the first time the child questions it as a lie. Teaching your children not to lie while attempting to pull the wool over his or her eyes for as long as possible is at the least a little flawed. A trust this family was not using classical education with their child.

[Catwoman]

A trust this family was not using classical education with their child.

 

:confused::confused::confused:

 

I'm not sure what classical education has to do with whether or not parents would allow their child to believe in Santa, or how it would apply to "being mysterious" about it if their child asks if Santa is real.

 

Can you explain what you mean?

 

Thanks! :)

 

Cat

[Catwoman]

This could be my Aspie's story as well. I finally had to break down and tell him (as gently as I could) when he was almost 13. Kids were starting to make fun of him for still believing. He did not take it well. :sad:

 

:grouphug: That must have been so difficult for you!

 

Cat

[IsabelC]

Um, yes.

 

All my kids know, even the 2yo. I understand that Santa is important to some kids and parents, so we remind our kids every year not to "spoil" it for those children who do believe. But it would never have occurred to me that this might apply to kids past elementary school age. I'm also mystified as to why anyone would want to keep it going with their kids up to seventh grade. (I mean, keep them literally believing. I know, or course, that older kids - and adults - like to enjoy it as a game for the younger family members, or keep the spirit of it.)

[tex-mex]

This could be my Aspie's story as well. I finally had to break down and tell him (as gently as I could) when he was almost 13. Kids were starting to make fun of him for still believing. He did not take it well. :sad:

:grouphug: Bless your heart...

[Sandra in FL]

My oldest 2 never believed in Santa. My youngest stopped believing in Santa at 6. I would be very surprised if a non-special needs child still thought Santa was real in 7th grade.

[Kirch]

I don't really think it matters how old a child is to still believe in Santa. However, as a parent, I would be aware that the bubble could be burst at any time because most 7th graders no longer believe. Personally, my childhood sucked because I had way too many doses of reality at ages where I couldn't process. I want my children to have a childhood where they can just be children. If that includes Santa in 7th grade then so be it.

 

:iagree: This. Surely she should have at least known that the days were numbered. If one of her daughter's friends had spilled the beans, would she have called them to complain?

[tex-mex]

This could be my Aspie's story as well. I finally had to break down and tell him (as gently as I could) when he was almost 13. Kids were starting to make fun of him for still believing. He did not take it well. :sad:

 

Rhonda -- You'd totally understand this recent story with my Aspie teen! ;)

 

This week, we were invited to a fancy (4 star) restaurant by a group of friends. At first, my son, was upset and reluctant to attend -- due to the fact the dress code of the restaurant required him to dress up in a tie and dress pants. He couldn't wear crocs and had to put on his dress shoes that he has trouble tying (He has severe dysgraphia and weak hand grip -- but is getting better in this area. Normally my son wears sweats and cotton shirts -- he has some Sensory Integration issues.) I worked with him and got him to accept the clothes he had to wear... by tempting him with the MENU selection on the restaurant's website. (He loves food. LOL) And that worked.

 

So, we're on the way to the shindig and everyone is dressed to the nines -- I'm in the backseat of our car with son. Hubby is driving with his boss up front. We're meeting others at the restaurant. We're all thrilled. Son is happy too but when no one is looking... gets my attention (pantomines) and does an impeccable impression of being choked by his tie a la "Archie Bunker" style. I try not to burst out laughing in front of hubby's boss and pantomine back to him to try to hang in there. LOL We get there and the host leads us to the table -- where I give the "OK" sign silently to son. He unbuttons his top button on his shirt and loosens his tie in relief. We both giggle quietly like schoolchildren in on a big secret. :D But it is done without anyone knowing or catching on.

 

While at the table (son is on my right side and a darling baby girl - 13 months old - is on my left side), the baby wants me to pick her up and feed her. There are about 12 people at our table and it is a fun time with talk, music, and waiters everywhere. We know the mother very well and she knows my son is high functioning Autism/Asperger's Syndrome. I try to give her a break and let her eat her meal and play with the baby in my lap. The baby sees my Santa Claus pin on my sweater and stares at it for a long time, entranced. I softly tell her, "That's Santa. He gives toys to good boys and girls."

 

And without skipping a beat, my son muttered under his breath, "Yeah, but he's a myth." No one else heard him but baby and I. I was both shocked and ready to burst out laughing at my son -- he finally got me back for telling him the truth years ago. LOL OMG. It was so funny -- the baby had no clue what the heck we were saying -- and son smirked after saying it. Son and I both had a good long laugh at the table. (As you can see, he is quite the comedian with a streak of sarcasm.)

 

Later, in private, I had to go over the situation with son in a gentle (but blunt) way (with a good dose of humor in our family) -- that now he knows Santa is not real -- his role to younger kids is to not let on of the secret. Keep the thrill of Santa alive for the little ones. He got it and laughed. I know when he grows up, he'll be a great Santa to his kids. But oh my. From a parent of an Aspie -- that bit me back in a funny way. LOL ;)

Edited December 7, 2010 by tex-mex

[mamalbh]

Originally Posted by mamalbh

All parents' *truth* is that Santa is NOT real. Therefore teaching their children that he is, is teaching their dc something that they believe is *FALSE*

 

 

I think it's time to lighten up a bit on this. Those of us who "do Santa" aren't sitting around laughing together about how we've duped our stupid children into believing a big, fat, evil lie.

 

Cat

 

LOL

I'm really not that intense about Santa in general, I've worked in childcare MANY years and almost every year I stopped a school-ager from spilling the beans to the prek kids.

 

That part of my post was in response to the equating of belief in Santa to religious beliefs - something that is simply NOT equivelent.

Edited December 8, 2010 by mamalbh

[Catwoman]

That part of my post was in response to the equating of belief in Santa to religious beliefs - something that is simply NOT equivelent.

 

:iagree: completely! (Sorry if I misunderstood you at first!) :)

 

Cat