Would you buy a nice vehicle for your newly permitted teen driver,

[Sharon in SC]

if $ were no option? We have neighbors who have done this for both of their dds. The first child, just after she turned 15 and well before she could drive independently, received a Jeep Liberty. The second dd has just received a Honda CRV. Neither vehicles were brand new but relatively new. To put this in perspective, these girls were *freshman* in high school when they received these vehicles!

 

Maybe it's because I'm just of the mindset to see my girls take the slow route to driving (graduated licensure versus "let's see how fast we can get them behind the wheel" kind of thing) that I find this a bit extreme. Of course, the frugal mind that I carry causes me to also struggle to justify the added costs (cost of vehicle to begin with, insurances, taxes, gas, etc), *even if* $ were no option. :-}

 

Anyway, I just find myself curious as to whether or not I'm in the minority in feeling newly minted teen drivers are actually better off having to wait for said luxury. I feel, too, that measures taken of this sort tend to foster that spirit of "entitlement" that has been discussed before here on the boards.

 

In any case, since I'm a "I've driven them for the first 15 years of their life, I don't mind driving them a couple more" kind of mom, my girls will be blessed in this nature in "due" time. :001_smile:

[Karen sn]

I'm with you.

I wouldn't want my kid on the road alone so young! It's all the idiot drivers that worry me.

[Harriet Vane]

When I was in high school, we did not have bus service. Everyone carpooled or their parents drove them. For some kids, school was quite a distance--a parent could easily be driving three or more hours a day. It was also difficult when kids had sports or drama involvement.

 

There were TONS of kids at my school who got cars when they were 16. It just made life simpler.

 

I was not given a car. I was essentially forced to buy one because I worked after school and was not able to work out a carpool there. I could only afford a beater, and that car cost me quite a bit to maintain. Between insurance, gas, and constant break-downs, it was a nightmare.

 

Personally, I would rather buy my kids a car that will run well than have them live through the vaguaries of beater-ownership.

 

If they do not need a car at that age, like I did, then I would rather the money be saved for college. If one is needed though, I would definitely buy one.

[melissel]

Personally, I would rather buy my kids a car that will run well than have them live through the vaguaries of beater-ownership.

 

If they do not need a car at that age, like I did, then I would rather the money be saved for college. If one is needed though, I would definitely buy one.

 

ITA. IF money were no object, I'd opt for something that would be less likely to break down (says the girl who was stuck far north on the Garden State Parkway with a broken down car, at 11 p.m., pre-cell-phone days, with no credit card, and had to depend on the kindness of a tow truck driver to drive her over an hour to her parents' house). Given that money probably will be an object of some sort, we'll do the best we can (and I mean that DDs will contribute too) and invest in AAA and cell phones.

[Lizzie in Ma]

Yet another area where I truly and firmly believe that a young adult should be responsible for their own vehicle and their own insurance.

I do think that if they have to earn it for themselves and bought and pay for it themselves, they are so much more likely to drive safer and take better care of the vehicle. :auto:

Just my .02

[abbeyej]

I guess my thought when you said "nice car" was something brand new and overly luxurious... While a slightly used Jeep Liberty is indeed a nice car (my family's one car is our 4 year old Liberty, lol), it doesn't seem like an outlandish / ostentatious choice to me.

 

Assuming the money were there to provide a child with a car, I'd go with something relatively new and with the highest safety standards I could reasonably afford.

 

Dh and I both got used-but-decent cars to drive when we were first licensed, and I would consider the same for my kids, depending on circumstances at the time. (Dh and I also both went away to college at 17 -- I'm sure glad for the year of constant driving I had at home before I went away to school.)

 

What I wouldn't do is go for the cheapest option regardless of safety features. If I didn't think I could afford a car that would be safe in an accident (whether or not my teen caused it), I'd skip the car altogether.

[mysticamethyst]

My son, who is 14, already has a car as well; given to him by me. Now, let me tell you this is an 88 honda that I was lucky enough to purchase for $200. He will not be allowed to drive it further than the Walgreens; driving is a privledge not a right in this house. We just had a talk about this the other night, because I over heard the " I will be able to come and go when ever and where ever I want". I was laughing so hard he had to come see what was so funny. He has a car because we got lucky, it is in and will remain in my name till his behavior proves otherwise; but he will do any repairs needed for this car. He will have to prove responsibility before ANYONE else but an adult is in the car with him and like I said he will not go more than a mile in any direction. I do realize though this is the first major step towards being adult, at least to me it is, and I need to start letting him grow-up. How is it possible that I am the mother of a child almost old enough to drive. He is counting the days till his 15 bday to get permit. To answer orginal question though, no way would I buy a car newer or as new as mine, their car, their money.

[PariSarah]

. . . if circumstances warranted it. When I was in high school, there was no bus service, my parents worked shift work, and I was a reasonably mature kid. It eased their burden considerably to have me drive myself the four miles to and from school every day.

:auto:

 

But they bought me an old Ford Escort, ya know? It was a car to make teenaged mistakes with--fender benders, forgetting to get the oil changed, etc. I can see why a family that could afford it would want to purchase a little more safety than my parents could--a friend of mine drove an oldish Volvo--but I really don't see the purpose of purchasing luxury for a teen. They're going to make mistakes. Their friends will spill a big gulp in it; they're going to back into a light post; they'll run out of radiator fluid and not notice. You don't want them doing that with a new Beemer.

 

Somewhat along these lines, one time I was getting some major dental work done, one of my dentists was telling the other about how she needed a new car. She was debating what kind to get--a Miata, a this, a that, whatever cars dentists can buy. The other guy asked what kind her old one was. It was a Porsche. Very nice car. Oh, well, why was she replacing it?

 

"Well, it just stopped running one day. I took it to the mechanic and he said something like, apparently, I need to get the oil changed every so often? And I had never done that, so it just stopped working at about 25,000 miles."

 

:tongue_smilie:

 

See, I didn't get the oil changed quickly enough on my first car either. But my first car was the above-mentioned Escort. And when the engine started knocking, I figured out what the problem was and I never did that again. A kid needs a car he can make that kind of mistake on and live through it.

[beansprouts]

I would buy their first car if I could afford to do so. I would purchase something sensible, reliable (not a junker that may possibly leave my teen daughter stranded on the side of the road...) and economical, but not overly luxurious.

[lynn]

No. I've seen to many "nice" vehicles given to newly permitted and licensed drives crashed within a year. My ds will drive a 13 year old pickup and he will inherit my fil 1998 dodge intrepid when fil stops driving. Plus insurance is cheaper on older cars. That's his choices or he can save and buy his own car.

[NicksMama-Zack's Mama Too]

:iagree: Amen!

 

BTW, my nephew worked all last summer and saved like crazy. He bought a $600 Accord and put a new engine in it, "pimped" out the interior (rewired all the lights in the dash), and proudly drove it a few weeks ago. We are all so proud of him.

[Sharon in SC]

I'm not saying I won't buy their first car. I'm questioning the wisdom behind providing such a young teen a relatively luxury car.....what about the life principle of having to work for things rather than having them handed to us? That is more my question.

[Gamom3]

for his drivers test. He just got his first car(1998 Honda Accord) last week, it is 10yrs old, but in very good shape.

We have not allowed him to get his license until he was able to pay for a car, insurance and what ever else is needed for it.

 

We believe that he will take better care of it since he is having to pay for it and will hopefully be more cautious with it.

 

If money was not an option, we would still do it this way.

[Sharon in SC]

Yes, I fully understand that there are times when the additional transportation is *needed*. But, that is not what I'm talking about. I'm purely speaking about instances of "luxury".

[LibraryLover]

My oldest got our pickup to drive when he was 17. Given his schedule and my need to have a car for my hsers, it was a necessity. If money were no object, I would have gotten him the larger Prius so he could drive more of sibs for me at times. He's 19 now and a huge to help to me, but his pickup can only safely hold two other people and guzzles gas.

 

In the US in areas where public transportation does not exisit, a good car is not a crazy thing. I know a new Prius costs more than a used Jeep. So, in that way, money would be no object. I haven't seen that giving my children 'stuff' changes their basic goodness and decency.

[ThelmaLou]

I just heard Dave Ramsey talking about this yesterday. He said that he operates under the "401 Dave" plan for vehicles for his children. He matches the funds his kids are able to raise for their own cars. If one savea $2000, he'll pitch in another $2000 and they'll get a junker. Another one saved and was able to buy a car (if I remember correctly) that was around $20,000. I'm sure Dave Ramsey can afford to buy his kids any vehicle they want.

 

Even if I had an endless supply of money, I'd be concerned about my kids growing accustomed to having "the best" in any area that money can buy. I know that there are plenty of financially well-off folks who do teach their kids the value of the dollar, so I'm not saying I think the two are mutually exclusive. But I was thinking the other day about what a blessing it is that I have to clip coupons, watch my money carefully, buy everything on sale, clean my own house, sell used books, buy used books, consign clothes, etc...I think if I had so much money that I didn't have to do these things, I'd be tempted to grow lazy and neglect to teach my kids by example how to be good stewards of their money.

 

If my kids could save enough for a really nice car, I'd be thrilled for them (though I'd hope all their eggs weren't in that one basket.) If not, I'd happily help them in whatever way I could to acquire the safest junker I could find.

[Sharon in SC]

ITA. IF money were no object, I'd opt for something that would be less likely to break down

 

:iagree: I agree, too! Again, I'm not talking about whether or not it can be prudent to provide solid transportation for our kids. I'm questioning the merit behind providing young teens who don't carry a *need* for said transportation withi state of the art wheels. I have enough experience and confidence with Toyota and Honda made vehicles to know that I could get a 6-10 year old car for my child and feel confident they're in "good hands" so to speak. I guess I just also happen to place significant value on life lessons and feel that I can do my children a good service in teaching them that, rather than expect fine things be given to them, there's value in working toward a goal (finer vehicle versus a simply reliable vehicle). I don't think they have to be one and the same - fine and reliable. Am I making any sense? :tongue_smilie:

[Sharon in SC]

What I wouldn't do is go for the cheapest option regardless of safety features. If I didn't think I could afford a car that would be safe in an accident (whether or not my teen caused it), I'd skip the car altogether.

 

Nor would I (forego safety for cost). Never. Safety and reliability will always come first in my mind!

[NicksMama-Zack's Mama Too]

for his drivers test. He just got his first car(1998 Honda Accord) last week, it is 10yrs old, but in very good shape.

We have not allowed him to get his license until he was able to pay for a car, insurance and what ever else is needed for it.

 

We believe that he will take better care of it since he is having to pay for it and will hopefully be more cautious with it.

 

If money was not an option, we would still do it this way.

 

:) I don't think he'd want my dh's '89 Accord (even though it has nice, new tires!).

[Sharon in SC]

*This* is what I'm trying to say. :-) Safety first, life lesson next.

[beansprouts]

Yes, I fully understand that there are times when the additional transportation is *needed*. But, that is not what I'm talking about. I'm purely speaking about instances of "luxury".

 

No, I don't think a child needs luxury handed to him. If he wants it he can work for it, and will appreciate it all the more.

[Sharon in SC]

My responses have been short and quick as I've got one foot out the door. I've enjoyed the dialogue and will check back in later.....

[beansprouts]

My responses have been short and quick as I've got one foot out the door. I've enjoyed the dialogue and will check back in later.....

 

You're doing better than me, I don't even have shoes on.

 

Guess it's time to get going...

[LibraryLover]

I don't like the assumption that helping kids without strings, or not forcing them to drive beaters makes them ungrateful. My dh was given a car at age 16, and his parents paid for his college. He didn't have to take out any loans. They also gave us 20k for our first home. All of this allowed me to be a sahm. We never had to use daycare or worry about paying his school loans. We could focus on mine and get him through graduate school. My FIL is dead, and my dh changed his diapers every weekend , all weekend and whenever he wasn't working or taking care of us, , and came home from work to put him to bed for the entire last year of his life. He was there at his deathbed. My MIL is 86 and frail. My dh has arranged for her care (housekeeper etc) and checks on her often. He manages her finances etc

 

I've never believed it's the stuff we give our kids, or a financial leg up when they need it is what has brats drinking away their college funds or cracking up their shiny new cars. It takes more than thoughtful parental support to turn a thoughtful kid into a dolt.

[shell in SC]

Hi Sharon. . .I'm in pretty much the same place as you are with this. DD is 18, and due to all her medical problems over the past few years, has only had her permit since Dec. She got my cast off car. . .a 1996 Isuzu Rodeo. It's paid for and is in reasonably good condition. Thankfully she LOVES it! She's really not going to need it to go very far...we live right up the hill from the new Walmart and she'll be going to Tech in the fall...so I'm not overly concerned with her breaking down. Odds and my own experience show that she's more than likely going to have a fender bender anyway and I just can't see sinking that much money into a vehicle that will probably wind up with some body damage of some sort. I think we're both thinking the same thing about the whole "Nice" car.

[hsmamainva]

My oldest dd will be 17 next week and we have yet to give her a driver's license.

 

She's had a learner's permit for a year now and she's very close to being ready for the license, but we felt that we wanted her to have more than the 40 hours of driving that the state required.

 

We've had so many young people killed on the local roads in our area that we really wanted her to have ALOT of driving experience before we gave her a license -- we live in a rural area, so lots of winding roads with low shoulders and high speed limits.

 

As for a car of her own, she has one. My sister-in-law and her husband bought a new car and the dealership offered them $700 for their old car. It's 8 years old, but it only has around 70,000 miles on it and it's in great shape, so they sold it to us for $500 and my daughter just loves it! And it gets better gas mileage than my own car! ;)

[EKS]

I know people have widely differing opinions on this. My SIL bought extremely nice new sports cars for each of her sons when they got their licenses. I thought she was nuts (but she is usually so reasonable!).

[beansprouts]

My oldest dd will be 17 next week and we have yet to give her a driver's license.

 

She's had a learner's permit for a year now and she's very close to being ready for the license, but we felt that we wanted her to have more than the 40 hours of driving that the state required.

 

We've had so many young people killed on the local roads in our area that we really wanted her to have ALOT of driving experience before we gave her a license -- we live in a rural area, so lots of winding roads with low shoulders and high speed limits.

 

As for a car of her own, she has one. My sister-in-law and her husband bought a new car and the dealership offered them $700 for their old car. It's 8 years old, but it only has around 70,000 miles on it and it's in great shape, so they sold it to us for $500 and my daughter just loves it! And it gets better gas mileage than my own car! ;)

 

I agree. I can tell you that at 16 I had no business behind the wheel. Neither did dh. I would have no problem delaying allowing my children to drive if they are not ready.

[Kelli in TN]

I have to jump in here and say this....

 

When my oldest two were teens we attended a fairly affluent church. There seemed to be a trend among the parents to help their under-age-16 year olds get a "hardship license". These were kids who were attending our most elite private schools. Doesn't hardship mean hardship? One girl, with whom my daughter had a loose friendship, rolled her fairly newish, very nice jeep. She was 15 years old and driving on a hardship license.

 

The parents, clearly relieved that she came through this experience with only very slight injuries, celebrated by purchasing another newish, very nice vehicle for their 15 year old daughter to drive with her hardship license.

 

I was stunned. To my way of thinking a hardship license was for the kid whose mother was fighting cancer and could not drive or something extreme like that. Not for wealthy kids with too busy parents who needed to get back and forth to their elite private schools.

[Remudamom]

I got a new Toyota when I turned 16. Then a new four door Ford when I was 17 so that I had a bigger car to carpool all my siblings. Then when I began college, another new Toyota so that I could scoot around campus.

 

My dad is a caraholic.

 

Our oldest got our our old mini van to take to him to college. He needed it, he's two days from home and we didn't want him stranded.

 

None of ours get cars when they are 16.

[shell in SC]

ITA Kelly! A hardship is a girl whose mom is not around very much and the teen feels the burden of caring for a younger sibling by quitting school and getting a job at the local fast food place (True story, that's why I use this example). More and more people think it's the norm to turn driving age and get a job immediately. DD is working on getting her first job and she just turned 18. Anyway, I'm not sure where I wanted to go with this just wanted to say that ITA! I have seen teens wreck the car and get a decent one as a replacement. . . not happenin' over here.

[LibraryLover]

I have to jump in here and say this....

 

When my oldest two were teens we attended a fairly affluent church. There seemed to be a trend among the parents to help their under-age-16 year olds get a "hardship license". These were kids who were attending our most elite private schools. Doesn't hardship mean hardship? One girl, with whom my daughter had a loose friendship, rolled her fairly newish, very nice jeep. She was 15 years old and driving on a hardship license.

 

The parents, clearly relieved that she came through this experience with only very slight injuries, celebrated by purchasing another newish, very nice vehicle for their 15 year old daughter to drive with her hardship license.

 

I was stunned. To my way of thinking a hardship license was for the kid whose mother was fighting cancer and could not drive or something extreme like that. Not for wealthy kids with too busy parents who needed to get back and forth to their elite private schools.

 

Yes. Parents who abuse the system and lie will more often have children who don't care and act in kind.

[Rhonda in TX]

DS is 11! Now, this means that the car will be 5 years old by the time he gets his license, but he never discussed this with us. He's already told DS that the car will be his, again without discussing this with us.

 

I think the last thing a new driver needs is a sporty car. Oh, and FIL plans on keeping it in his garage and only using it as his "fun" car. He'll still drive his other car for regular outings. And yes, I do believe he will do this.

 

For a little perspective, DS has Asperger's and is very ADD. I am not sure I'm even going to let him GET his license when he's 16.

 

Sorry for the rant. As to the OP's question, I might buy my child an older, dependable car when they have their license, but not just when they have their permit.

[Only me]

If she was still at the public school that she went to last year she would have completed driver's ed a few months ago and would be able to get her license in July when she turns 16. The laws in Illinois changed as of January 1st so now teens will have to drive 50 hours with a parent plus hold their permit 9 months before they can get their license. DD now has to take driver's ed through a private company. She will get her permit in June and will probably get her license a year from now (a few months before she turns 17). Neither of us are in a hurry and plan to take it very slow.

 

The problem is that my dh has a car with stick shift and we went dd to learn to drive an automatic. I drive a mini van but dh doesn't want her to learn on that either. Dh is thinking about trading his car in for a car that they can both use. Although if we had the money he would actually like to keep his car because it gets great gas mileage and buy a 3rd car. Of course it wouldn't be an expensive car but safety and reliability would be our highest concern. Now that we are having money issues I doubt we will be able to do that.

 

I see somewhat a dilema with teens. They need a car to be able to get to work unless parents are able to drive them. If they are going to have a car of their own they need a job to pay for insurance, gas, etc. In my dd's case though she really is in no hurry to get a car. We really don't want her to get a job right now. Her school workload has been very difficult this year and I can't imagine adding a job into the mix. Right now we feel that her "job" is to go to school and get good grades. She gets straight A's but that is not a requirement, although we would prefer her to get A's and B's if possible.

 

If at some point we are ever able to get a 3rd car she would use it to help us out-drive herself to school (there is no bus service) or to activities and when she is old enough to help with her siblings. Of course with the new law she wouldn't be getting her license until the end of her junior year anyway so I'm really talking more about her senior year of school. The car wouldn't be her car but a safe one that she could use. I don't think that would be spoiling her.

 

On the other hand, I agree that just handing a teen an expensive car the minute they get their license is asking for trouble. I know teens who were given an expensive car, abused it by racing around and ended up totalling it.

[JFSinIL]

I only hope we can afford to get a newer used vehicle to be our main car by next summer, when ds, 17 then, will (with luck) get a summer job - and need to drive there. Then our (currently only) vehicle, a 1999 van, will become the car for him (and later his sister) to drive.

 

So - any newer car or van would be for US!

 

I went to a high school that was mostly very wealthy kids - and a brand spanking new car on one's 16th b'day as not uncommon. Need I add - I did not get one ;)

[Pamela H in Texas]

I agree with Lynn. Regardless of when a kid starts driving (whether earlier or later), I would not buy them nice vehicles. There will be bumps and even crashes. It just makes more sense, imo, for it not to be an expensive vehicle. Also, the KIND would make some difference. We have to think safety.

 

I also think there is something about a kid buying and maintaining his own car though my daughter is inheriting one (she already takes care of it). I don't think it's absolutely necessary as it depends on what the child has going on. I can see having different ways of working it for different kids. But if it were between meaningful community service with full time college vs working to pay car insurance while taking 3 classes, I'd rather my 17yo choose the former and I'd gladly help with the car. Now extras would have to be earned but....

 

ANyway, so I don't really agree with your neighbors but maybe if money is no concern you can play with a couple thousand dollars more easily. *I* wouldn't know.

[Antonia]

We plan to buy our children's first cars. My dh is allowed to buy his company car after three years at a substantial discount. He chooses safe, reliable cars and then takes good care of them. That said, neither of my kids will get a car before they are eighteen and have been driving for two years. They are expected to contribute to the cost of the car and pay for their own insurance and gas. And, the most important caveat, we *will* take the car away if we ever find they have been drinking, driving recklessly, or doing anything else we consider irresponsible or dangerous.

[Peek a Boo]

I don't like the assumption that helping kids without strings, or not forcing them to drive beaters makes them ungrateful. My dh was given a car at age 16, and his parents paid for his college. He didn't have to take out any loans. They also gave us 20k for our first home. All of this allowed me to be a sahm. We never had to use daycare or worry about paying his school loans. We could focus on mine and get him through graduate school. My FIL is dead, and my dh changed his diapers every weekend , all weekend and whenever he wasn't working or taking care of us, , and came home from work to put him to bed for the entire last year of his life. He was there at his deathbed. My MIL is 86 and frail. My dh has arranged for her care (housekeeper etc) and checks on her often. He manages her finances etc

 

I've never believed it's the stuff we give our kids, or a financial leg up when they need it is what has brats drinking away their college funds or cracking up their shiny new cars. It takes more than thoughtful parental support to turn a thoughtful kid into a dolt.

 

I Totally Agree here.

 

I don't expect my kids to be driving solo until *I* need them to be driving solo. It's a higher risk than i'm willing to subject them to. i do believe in giving them as much practice as possible --i can't wait till he's chauffering ME all over the place ;)

[Tracey in TX]

hen DH & I purchase a car or phone for a child's usage, it belongs to us. It is a convenience and /or safety for DCs, but must be treated with respect and the understanding it is a privilege.

We will NOT purchase five new vehicles (as if!), but may buy 1-2 slightly used cars to transport as we feel necessary.

[PariSarah]

I was stunned. To my way of thinking a hardship license was for the kid whose mother was fighting cancer and could not drive or something extreme like that. Not for wealthy kids with too busy parents who needed to get back and forth to their elite private schools.

 

How on earth do you explain to people that there's a difference between being inconvenienced or having to work hard and actual, honest-to-goodness, the-world-should-stand-up-and-take-notice suffering?

 

I mean, honestly, I can understand why a gov't employee doesn't feel like she can look at someone who says, "My parents both work and I can't get to school unless I drive myself" and respond, "Take the bus like all the poor kids have to, honey."

 

But shouldn't there be some room in society, in the law, in public discourse for people to say to each other, "This is not suffering. It's just hard. Hard is normal."

[WTMindy]

I don't even buy nice vehicles for *us* to drive. :-) So, I guess the answer would be no. However, I am not opposed to giving them our old car and getting a new one for us (and when I say new, I mean new-used. We don't buy new cars).

[LibraryLover]

I Totally Agree here.

 

I don't expect my kids to be driving solo until *I* need them to be driving solo. It's a higher risk than i'm willing to subject them to. i do believe in giving them as much practice as possible --i can't wait till he's chauffering ME all over the place ;)

 

 

LOL Believe me, it's wonderful. If I have someone who needs to be at a music lesson while another is running late at the orthodontist, his ability to do pick-up is a life-saver. Ds drove for for nearly a year, without incident, before I felt comfortable with the sibs in the car.

 

 

I am sufferring right now as he's away at college. He's coming home in 5 weeks, and I can't wait. He's a great kid and a huge help to all of us. Plus, he makes us laugh. :grouphug:

[LibraryLover]

I don't even buy nice vehicles for *us* to drive. :-) So, I guess the answer would be no. However, I am not opposed to giving them our old car and getting a new one for us (and when I say new, I mean new-used. We don't buy new cars).

 

 

Yep. New- used.

[PiCO]

We have neighbors who have done this for both of their dds. The first child, just after she turned 15 and well before she could drive independently, received a Jeep Liberty. The second dd has just received a Honda CRV. Neither vehicles were brand new but relatively new. To put this in perspective, these girls were *freshman* in high school when they received these vehicles!

 

Maybe it's because I'm just of the mindset to see my girls take the slow route to driving (graduated licensure versus "let's see how fast we can get them behind the wheel" kind of thing) that I find this a bit extreme. Of course, the frugal mind that I carry causes me to also struggle to justify the added costs (cost of vehicle to begin with, insurances, taxes, gas, etc), *even if* $ were no option. :-}

 

 

I consider myself relatively frugal-minded, and I plan to do what your neighbors did. Dd will be 15 in the fall, a freshman in high school, and I will be getting her her own car to learn how to drive in. (She'll pay half.) I want to get a car with good safety features, not too small. The Honda CRV is actually on the Consumer Reports list of good cars for teen drivers. I will get a used car, but I don't want one too old because I don't want my teen daughter stranded on the side of the road.

 

I need to have two cars because one is a business vehicle, and right now I'm the only driver. My second car I don't think is safe for a new driver, so I need to get a different one.

[NicksMama-Zack's Mama Too]

because the only car available to me was a stick shift and she didn't want me at the mercy of another driver because I couldn't drive their car (she was worried I be stuck at a party with my driver drunk).

 

I think it's a good skill to have and stick shifts are cheaper to buy and keep, better on gas, and I feel you have more control over the car (downshift to slow, instead of using the breaks).

 

My friend sells used cars and she is always telling me that many people won't buy some really good, inexpensive, gas-sipping cars because they can't drive a stick.

[Danestress]

I'm not saying I won't buy their first car. I'm questioning the wisdom behind providing such a young teen a relatively luxury car.....what about the life principle of having to work for things rather than having them handed to us? That is more my question.

 

 

 

 

I would not buy a new teen driver a car, myself. I personally wish we would just not allow kids to drive AT ALL until they are closer to 18. I wish there simply were no 15 year old drivers on the roads, because statistically they are a danger to us all. My son started at 17, and I thought that was more reasonable.

 

But it sort of bothers me when people start in on how if we give our children things like cars and educations, we create monsters of entitlement. I just haven't noticed that in my life. And most of my friends are women who don't work. Yeah, we raise kids and care for our homes. But most mothers are raising kids, working and non-working.

 

I live in a nice house bought with money I didn't earn. I wear clothes my husband's money bought. I eat food he buys. I have a car he bought for me. Sure, I work around the house. I keep it picked up, I vacuum, I cook. But I did all those things before I was married and I still had to work if I wanted to eat. So I guess in a way, I feel like I am one of those people who has many many things I did not earn - both physically and spiritually. And while I may have a sense of entitlement at time, I believe I live my life with a lot of gratitude and wonder at my good fortune. I always feel like it's the greatest deal in the world to be a housewife and have your husband say "okay, I put some cash in the sock drawer, so if you need anything, help yourself." I will never get over what a great deal that is:)

 

I'm not sure I totally appreciated all the things my parents did for me at the time. But I sure appreciate it now, and I love them to bits. I see them almost everyday and I am committed to caring for them in the future, so I'm not sure being "spoiled" has really hurt me - yet.

 

That said, Daddy bought me a nice care (not fancy, but new) when I was 16, and I wrecked it within months. I wasn't doing anything really wrong or bad, wasn't speeding or drinking or anything like that. But I know that there is a good liklihood that a kid will have at least a few dings and dents the first couple of years of driving, so I personally would choose to buy something that is reliable but not beautiful so that they don't have to experience that guilt and misery.

[Heather in the Kootenays]

We've never even considered her having her own car - whether new or used. She can share the family car until she can afford her own. She still can walk, ride her bike, get rides with friends and borrow our car.

[j.griff]

Well, WE have never owned a brand new vehicle LOL, *I* don't believe in spending that much money on them- BUT we've never had "that much money". DH loves working on our vehicles, and we've always bought used. We haven't had many problems with them, except DH's Prelude, but it is an '86 and he has been driving that thing to work EVERYDAY for the past well, he just turned 32 in January and he bought the car when he was 16, so that means he's had it for 16 years! He is currently working on it though, getting it in shape again.

My oldest doesn't even WANT to own a car- she says she wants to live in a place with good public transportation, and have a really good bike. :) She is 13. She hasn't said she doesn't want to learn to drive, she just doesn't want to "own" a car. Her long term plans are to travel and live in many different places around the world though, and she's just not into "owning things"- that would just hold her back from travelling.

[LizzyBee]

If we can afford it, we will buy something used when my oldest dd gets her license. So far, she is a mature and responsible teen, and if that continues, we will allow her to get her license as soon as she is eligible. However, the third vehicle will be titled in our name, not hers. It will not be her car per se, but will be available for her use as long as she demonstrates that she is responsible enough to have the privilege. She knows that we will not hesitate to take her keys if she abuses the privilege.

[Sunny]

My BIL just bought both his dd's new Toyotas. Brand new.

He is a dentist. He can afford the cars, and the girls, I don't believe they have an entitlement attitude. They found that it was convenient for them to drive themselves to school that was quite a distance away.

Yes, they have had accidents, and are not the best of drivers, but experience, not age is the culprit there.

 

A parent choosing whether or not to buy a child a car is definately in my opinion, something that each parent has to decide for themselves what the effect is going to be on the entire family.

Personally, I would not buy a car for my ds' simply because I think they should have to work for it. However, they are not yet in a private school 15 miles from home either. Homeschooling families tend to do things together and dont' need all the extra cars, in general.