I wish it were not illegal...

[FaithManor]

to smack the stupid neighbors two blocks over upside the head with an iron skillet and then take the children away!

 

So, I just drove in from picking up my eye shadow and other odds and ends for the trip. The 19 year old alcoholic, marinjuana abuser with two daughters ages 3 and 1, was out on the front porch of the children's maternal grandmother's house. He was announcing to them it was time to have lunch and proceeded to feed them....cheetos, dorritos, and mountain dew. He's smoking in their faces, the grandmother is smoking in their faces, and the little girls are absolutely filthy. It does not do a bit of good to call social services - everyone in this town has reported them repeatedly. The last time he was in jail, the grandmother (who is a terrible person) kept them. He's been in jail three times in the past year for 30 day periods over petty crimes. Mostly marijuana possession and drunk driving. Our county is in desperate financial straits and the social services department has been cut to the bone. Subsidy and per diem rates for foster care have been lowered so many times by our "all-knowing" politicians, that many families have dropped out of foster care. There isn't a family available for these girls. I'd join FIA just to get my hands on them, but since we live two blocks away, it would be difficult to keep the IDIOT out of our life.

 

The uncle, who lives in that house when he isn't in jail, is a three time prosecuted domestic violence champion, (always manages to find some girl to make his girlfriend so he can then rough her up), one time grand theft auto, and more counts of vandalizing and petty theft than you can count on your fingers and toes. We all figure that one of these days when he's running from the police on some petty crime, a law enforcement official will have decided "I'VE HAD JUST ABOUT ENOUGH OF THIS" and shoot him down.

 

You may ask where the mother is.....oh she ran off shortly after the birth of the youngest and has not been seen or heard of again. The police can't find her. She went out of state with some woman.

 

Mountain Dew, Cheetos, and dorritos, noses running down their faces, dirt caked from one end of them to the other, saggy diaper just about down to the knees of the one year old, and two chain smokers puffing in their faces with the scum bag uncle being released from jail tomorrow and reportedly moving back in with his "family". I'd like to barf on somebody.

 

Yep, some days, it just seems like a little neighborly violence would be a good thing!

 

Frustrated,

Faith

[newlifemom]

to smack the stupid neighbors two blocks over upside the head with an iron skillet and then take the children away!

 

 

Yep, some days, it just seems like a little neighborly violence would be a good thing!

 

Frustrated,

Faith

 

I tell you. Where is a good pillory or tar and feathers when you need them. :glare:

 

I am sorry those girls are in that situation.:sad:

[Impish]

:grouphug:

[babysparkler]

I tell you. Where is a good pillory or tar and feathers when you need them. :glare:

 

I am sorry those girls are in that situation.:sad:

:iagree: That is so sad.

[tex-mex]

Hmmm. I find it ironic that anyone can be a parent -- but the law requires us to take a test to get a driver's license? That child needs a parent who is willing to act in their best interests. :glare: You're right. I feel sorry for those babies.

[momof8]

Prayer can move mountains... even for those little ones.

[fairfarmhand]

In the paraphrased words of will smith...you buy a big screen tv and get an instruction manual the size of a phone book. You have a child and the nurses put you in the car and wave at you as you drive away.

 

How sad for those children.

[Retired]

OK I am a liberation but tongue and cheek

 

I wish we could do force sterilization!

[*********]

Those poor little girls. My heart breaks for them. Once upon a time ago, that little girl was me....

 

It's awful.

 

Just stay in their lives as much as you can. Love on them, feed them, clean them, play with them. Whatever you can do.

 

My mom and dad divorced when I was 3. It was bad. Really bad. Ugly. They were young, broke, uneducated.

 

Just be there for them. For me.

[Parrothead]

Those poor babies. I wish there was something that could be done.

 

I gotta say I agree about the neighbors. If it weren't illegal to steal sparkplugs from their loud muffler-less vehicles I'd do it.

[Kim in Appalachia]

I wish I were joking :glare:, but I would say that your description would fit 25% (or more) of the people in this area. But you need to add meth to the pot. Pot in the morning, meth at night.

 

It's frustrating and sad, and yes, a cast iron skillet would be good, except most of them have guns.

[Mejane]

In the immortal words of Louie Armstrong, "I think to myself... what a wonderful world." :glare:

[WistfulRidge]

Oh those poor babies :( My heart aches for them.

[gpsings]

OMG, it sounds horrible! I don't know the whole situation, but I think I'd be inclined to try to 'befriend' them and offer to babysit. I do tend to take on too much, though. I don't know! :grouphug: Makes me want to cry how some kids grow up.

[May]

Feeling so sad about what you described.:grouphug:

[DianeW88]

That absolutely breaks my heart. :(

 

Diane W.

married for 22 years

homeschooling 3 kiddos for 16 years

[Pretty in Pink]

Maybe you could invite them over to play in the afternoons or something to get them out of that environment for a few hours.

[Granny_Weatherwax]

to smack the stupid neighbors two blocks over upside the head with an iron skillet and then take the children away!

 

So, I just drove in from picking up my eye shadow and other odds and ends for the trip. The 19 year old alcoholic, marinjuana abuser with two daughters ages 3 and 1, was out on the front porch of the children's maternal grandmother's house. He was announcing to them it was time to have lunch and proceeded to feed them....cheetos, dorritos, and mountain dew. He's smoking in their faces, the grandmother is smoking in their faces, and the little girls are absolutely filthy.

Frustrated,

Faith

 

I do not want to start an argument, and I have thought about this quite a bit, but I will post anyway--

 

If you were driving by and they live two blocks away from you how did you happen to hear him announce lunch, watch him feed them junk food and watch him and the grandma smoke in their faces?

 

Are you speaking from more than just today's experience?

 

Now that I asked that question I will add that I, too, find situations like that heartbreaking and frustrating. Our society certainly ties our hands when it comes to helping those who really need it.

[FaithManor]

Dragon Academy,

 

I am sorry that in my original post, I did not also specify that I have to come to a complete stop on that street and then ease past their house, as does everyone else who lives in this neighborhood, because they allow the babies to play in the road. No amount of caution from social services or the police makes them stop this. They do have a nice backyard but the house was built, literally, not more than 12 feet off the shoulder of the road. Since they don't seem to possess any sense, they let the babes wander at will. Quite often they can be seen climbing in and out of the windows of the car.

 

So, I had come to a complete stop in front of the house with the windows down just to make sure that the babes on the porch weren't going to run out. He was coming out of the house with the junk food and pop and announcing "lunch" at the top of his lungs. It wasn't hard to miss.

 

The really gut wrenching thing is that our itty-bitty town has a lot of people passing through that don't live in the community and are just zinging on into the next town (the county seat). So, the vast majority of the drivers on that road have no idea that there is routinely, two little babes playing in the street. We have a number of fully loaded beet and grain trucks that go wizzing by during harvest seson. Most of them are significantly breaking the speed limit because since this town is too small to be incorporated, we can't get the state or county to issue us 25 mile an hour speed zone signs. The lowest is 45 and this is very residential. Plus the 45 sign only comes into play only two blocks from their house. A fully loaded beat truck takes nearly a football field to go from 45 to Stop. I try not to think about it because I know it does bad things to my blood pressure.

 

I'd volunteer to babysit if they ever needed it. But, the grandma lives on disability and rarely, rarely ever leaves the house though she isn't actually disabled. The boy doesn't have a job either. I suppose they might let me in order to just have the kids out of their hair, but because of the uncle being a suspected drug dealer, dh doesn't want me to do so. I've decided to just keep calling the authorities. The people across the street from them call as well. Maybe someone will get tired of being harassed by us and do something about it. I keep thinking that the maternal grandfather, who was a really nice guy, had siblings and so maybe if the agency got desperate they could find a cousin of decent repute to take them in.

 

Faith

[Julie in Austin]

In our area, Head Start is a full-day free program (for people with low income). Perhaps you could volunteer to drive them there and pick them up? That would give them a good meal and snacks and a better environment for a few hours per day.

[FaithManor]

Thanks for that tip...I will find out if she is old enough at three for Head Start. That would at least get the older one in the company of decent people for a portion of the day. The baby is only one. There should be a head start program in the county seat. Although, being Michigan and its "fine" economy, who knows.

 

I'd gladly take them. Plus, the neighbor across the street has a little boy in kindergarten at the local school district. If there is head start there, she and I might be able to share some car pooling since she drives her son instead of letting him take the bus.

 

Faith

[Sue G in PA]

I don't understand why DCFS will not do anything? Drugs, smoking, dirty kids, playing in the street, car, etc.? That just screams neglect at the very least. Around here, those kids would be in foster care in a heartbeat and adopted out by the next week (exagerration, but close to the truth). Keep calling. Keep mentioning the drugs. Call the police when you smell marijuana. If you see them in the road again and don't see grandma or "dad" around...pick up the little girls yourself, call the police and tell them you found 2 babies playing in the street and don't know where they live and you couldn't find adults out anywhere. Maybe THAT would help it sink in to the fools at DCFS. Crazy. Good people have kids taken away for homeschooling...and DCFS can't see past their noses in order to save 2 babies from abuse? Makes me want to vomit.

[FaithManor]

The reason DCFS does not do anything is they say they have no where to house them. That could be the truth too. Since governor Granholm took office nearly eight years ago, she has cut their budget every year and lowered the adoption subsidies and foster care pay each year as well. Additionally, whenever things are tight on the hill, some counties don't get any money for foster care and people just don't get paid.

 

That's why they don't take these children into care, the social workers are pretty certain they won't be able to find anyone to care for them. I'm going to ask my dad if he remembers the maternal grandfather's last name. He used to live in this community before he passed away. He was a decent man and just possibly he has some relatives some where that might be willing to take these children.

 

I didn't know head start was from birth. Given our state's finances, chances aren't great of finding a program that will take the baby but I will certainly check into it. Maybe some of us can share the responsibility of ferrying them to their program in order to get the kids out even for a period of time per day. I think that as long as the neighbor lady and I do all he work, they'd let the kids go anywhere.

 

My dad says he is convinced that the reason the police aren't doing more is because they are trying to catch a "bigger fish"...namely, the supplier for the uncle.

 

Faith

[sparrow]

Since governor Granholm took office...

 

 

 

I read your first post and thought, "hey, that sounds like a lot of people in our little town."

 

This poor state :glare:.

[StephanieZ]

Perhaps social services wouldn't help. . . But, I wonder if you were to call 911, or even the non-emergency police #, each time you witnessed the kids in such a situation.

 

You could simply report, "Two very young children being neglected and in danger. . . at this very moment, they are not being properly fed, dressed, or bathed. They are sick (noses) and not being cared for."

 

Repeat every time you witness it. When you call, ask for the person's name and badge number who takes your report. Keep a log. Every month or two, mail in a letter with the details and lack of response.

 

Eventually, you might luck into someone who gives a cr@p.

 

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[Harriet Vane]

The reason DCFS does not do anything is they say they have no where to house them. That could be the truth too. Since governor Granholm took office nearly eight years ago, she has cut their budget every year and lowered the adoption subsidies and foster care pay each year as well. Additionally, whenever things are tight on the hill, some counties don't get any money for foster care and people just don't get paid.

 

That's why they don't take these children into care, the social workers are pretty certain they won't be able to find anyone to care for them. I'm going to ask my dad if he remembers the maternal grandfather's last name. He used to live in this community before he passed away. He was a decent man and just possibly he has some relatives some where that might be willing to take these children.

 

I didn't know head start was from birth. Given our state's finances, chances aren't great of finding a program that will take the baby but I will certainly check into it. Maybe some of us can share the responsibility of ferrying them to their program in order to get the kids out even for a period of time per day. I think that as long as the neighbor lady and I do all he work, they'd let the kids go anywhere.

 

My dad says he is convinced that the reason the police aren't doing more is because they are trying to catch a "bigger fish"...namely, the supplier for the uncle.

 

Faith

 

It's also possible that there is not enough "criminal" abuse or neglect detected. Where there are bruises or a child is old enough and vocal enough to speak or show that there is criminal abuse or neglect, then the state can seize the children. In the absence of convincing proof, the caseworker cannot take the kids. There are a LOT of borderline cases that cannot be addressed for this reason.

 

The truth is that the government cannot seize children in dysfunctional homes--it can only seize them where there is criminal abuse or criminal neglect.

 

I agree that it is sad and terribly wrong for the children to be living as you describe, but there's not a lot DCFS can do about it. The presence of a criminal in the home (like a drug pusher) is not grounds to seize children unless that criminal has been specifically mandated in court to stay away from those children or children in general or unless that criminal is involving the children in their crimes (like using the kids to sell drugs).

 

You and those in contact with the family should continue reporting all neglect, abuse, or criminal activity each and every time. Specifically request anonymity each and every time. Don't underestimate the power of building a paper trail.

[Granny_Weatherwax]

Dragon Academy,

 

I am sorry that in my original post, I did not also specify that I have to come to a complete stop on that street and then ease past their house, as does everyone else who lives in this neighborhood, because they allow the babies to play in the road. No amount of caution from social services or the police makes them stop this. They do have a nice backyard but the house was built, literally, not more than 12 feet off the shoulder of the road. Since they don't seem to possess any sense, they let the babes wander at will. Quite often they can be seen climbing in and out of the windows of the car.

 

So, I had come to a complete stop in front of the house with the windows down just to make sure that the babes on the porch weren't going to run out. He was coming out of the house with the junk food and pop and announcing "lunch" at the top of his lungs. It wasn't hard to miss.

 

Faith

 

Thanks for clarifying for me. This is so sad, made worse by knowing they are not the only children to have experiences like that in the USA where so many have so much.

[kalanamak]

Hmmm. I find it ironic that anyone can be a parent -- but the law requires us to take a test to get a driver's license? .

 

Try adopting a dog from the pound: you have to be under the age of 60 (so you don't die and leave it motherless), a fenced yard, yadda, yadda.

 

I get sick seeing kids like this: starting out the next generation young.

[emeraldjoy]

Just wondering if any of the obviously super involved people in the community have tried to befriend these folks?

You would be surprised at what is going on to cause to such behaviors.

I cringe at such srong judgements and talk of eugenics...yikes.

Where's the love? Maybe there has been a lot of it from the community..maybe not.

People don't wake up and decide they want to neglect and abuse children....they just don't.

This is me and my social worker heart. Sorry, my intention is not to offend.

I feel for everyone involved in this situation.

I too agree with the power of some serious praying.

e

[Mejane]

Old social worker here, too. Some people are really hard to help, d*mn near impossible to love. Ime. From the original post, it sounds like there are so many issues in this household, it would be a miracle if those kids grew up unscathed.

[tex-mex]

It's also possible that there is not enough "criminal" abuse or neglect detected. Where there are bruises or a child is old enough and vocal enough to speak or show that there is criminal abuse or neglect, then the state can seize the children. In the absence of convincing proof, the caseworker cannot take the kids. There are a LOT of borderline cases that cannot be addressed for this reason.

 

The truth is that the government cannot seize children in dysfunctional homes--it can only seize them where there is criminal abuse or criminal neglect.

 

Unfortunately, this is so true. I used to teach in a rural (tiny) hamlet that one particular family were the scandal of the school I taught at. Parents were similar to the OP's profile and they had a slew of kiddos -- all neglected. Each year, we teachers would report them to CPS and each time, nothing was done. I was shocked the parents openly bragged in my presence how CPS couldn't touch them. The final straw for me was the local paper running a piece on the family needing money for the Holidays. Kids never saw the gifts or money. It was a scam.

 

Our staff would help find clothes and lunch for those kids. Just broke my heart. I still wonder how those kids turned out... that was back in 1992. :glare:

Edited June 10, 2010 by tex-mex

[wy_kid_wrangler04]

Those poor kids :crying: I would take them-- do you think they would notice if they went, ah, missing? (Where do you like??)

 

 

Seriously thought WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE???? :banghead: Please if you hit them upside the head with a skillet will you do it for me to? I can not imagine what those poor kids think- and worse of all- they are not going to know how to grow up any better AND ITS NOT THEIR FAULT... ugh

[wy_kid_wrangler04]

Although, being Michigan and its "fine" economy, who knows.

 

 

 

You live in Michigan? That makes my offer double-- ugh I was from there- I have family coming here in July---

 

 

 

I wonder if the "dad" would allow an adoption...

[Guest]

Poor little girls:(.

[Mynyel]

Those poor little girls. My heart breaks for them. Once upon a time ago, that little girl was me....

 

It's awful.

 

Just stay in their lives as much as you can. Love on them, feed them, clean them, play with them. Whatever you can do.

 

My mom and dad divorced when I was 3. It was bad. Really bad. Ugly. They were young, broke, uneducated.

 

Just be there for them. For me.

 

 

I agree....since you know so much about them do you know them? I mean well enough to go over... nonchalant like... and say...can yourkids come play with mine? Or we are going to do *insert activity* can they come join us? Or some such thing...any excuse to get them over? I realize the will have to go back but...at least they can see what "normal" is like!

[FaithManor]

We have tried the outreach method many times. Believe me...it is not that we neighbors are making snap judgements. The paternal grandparents, who can not take care of the children due to both of them having cancer, have turned them in on more than one occasion...the "father" is an only child so their isn't a decent aunt or uncle on that side of the family to take them in.

 

So far here is a short list (the community has done more) of things that have been done to reach out to them:

 

During the mother's pregnancies, we neighbors took turns ferrying her to and from pre-natal visits. The only way she would go is if someone offered to take her out to lunch on the day of the visit. So guess what, people dug deep and treated her for the entirety of two pregnancies.

 

The dad has been offered jobs by three area businessmen. This is something considering he was only 16 at the time of the birth of the first. He turned them down because he figured that since they weren't getting married, she'd get welfare.

 

Our church has given them groceries and clothing every year at our annual event where we try to touch base with a lot of needy families. Dh and I have taken a week's worth of groceries plus baby gifts for each birth. We've given clothing at other times as well.

 

They have an old furnace that is constantly needing repair. My dad goes into that smoke filled house (he's allergic to smoke), does the work for free so the children won't be cold, and then is sick for three or fours days afterward. Every year same thing.

 

Neighbors across the road have filled prescriptions for the girls' frequent upper respiratory infections, which are diagnosed only after social services shows up on complaint of the paternal grandparents, takes the deadbeat and babies to the doctor, and then HAS THE NERVE TO DROP THE PRESCRIPTION AT THE NEIGHTBOR'S HOUSE AND ASK THEM TO FILL IT AND PAY FOR IT BECAUSE DINGDONG HAS DRUNK AWAY THAT WEEK"S WELFARE CHECK! Yep, you got it......to be completely honest with you, I feel absolutely awful for the caseworker because I can not imagine that her self-esteem is real pretty right now knowing that because politicians value lining the pockets of their major campaign donors, fraudulantly spend tax payer dollars, and poor money on pork barrel projects, she can't do her job and yank those kids out of the home. Can you imagine? Good Night I would not want to be her.

 

The church plus several of us in the neighborhood have paid on their propane bill as well as electric bill. We share garden produce.

 

Local mechanic has fixed their car twice for free.

 

Our church offered basic parenting classes. Free childcare was provided and a healthy lunch plus snacks at each seminar. They refused to come but wanted to know if they could still send the kids.

 

When the maternal grandmother was asked why the two biological donors chose to have the girls instead of terminate the pregnancies (not making a judgment call here, just happened to be in the grocery store and standing in line behind the questioner), she replied that she had counseled her daughter to have the babies because they'd get more welfare money.

 

During both pregnancies, several of us tried to get the "oven" to go to a crisis pregnancy center in the area that offers all kinds of wonderful services to moms in need. Child first aid, infant CPR, basic parenting, health and nutrition, etc. Every time they attend and participate in a class, they get to take free things home for their babies and little gift bags for themselves - lotion, bath salts, nail polish, vitamins, deodorant, pretty towels, hair clips, etc. She wouldn't go unless they'd let her take all the free stuff and not stay for the class. After the birth of the last one, she hit the road with a hippy girlfriend and hasn't been seen since.

 

It's not that we haven't tried to help them. Even some level of mediore care would be better than what they are getting. I think we are all about as discouraged as we can get and now the community is just plain ANGRY! I have this horrible, sinking feeling that nothing will be done and this will be another six o'clock news tragedy. I have so much sorrow for the babies, but even though I am a devout Christian, I think any compassion I had for the parents is long gone!

 

Faith

[Rosie_0801]

I realize the will have to go back but...at least they can see what "normal" is like!

 

Would that be fair? Since no one is in a position to fix the problem, might the kids be better off not knowing there is one? It's one thing to say every bit counts, but sometimes I'm not so sure. They are little kids, I tend to think it needs to be all or nothing because they won't understand in between.

 

Rosie

[Renee in NC]

We have tried the outreach method many times. Believe me...it is not that we neighbors are making snap judgements. The paternal grandparents, who can not take care of the children due to both of them having cancer, have turned them in on more than one occasion...the "father" is an only child so their isn't a decent aunt or uncle on that side of the family to take them in.

 

So far here is a short list (the community has done more) of things that have been done to reach out to them:

 

During the mother's pregnancies, we neighbors took turns ferrying her to and from pre-natal visits. The only way she would go is if someone offered to take her out to lunch on the day of the visit. So guess what, people dug deep and treated her for the entirety of two pregnancies.

 

The dad has been offered jobs by three area businessmen. This is something considering he was only 16 at the time of the birth of the first. He turned them down because he figured that since they weren't getting married, she'd get welfare.

 

Our church has given them groceries and clothing every year at our annual event where we try to touch base with a lot of needy families. Dh and I have taken a week's worth of groceries plus baby gifts for each birth. We've given clothing at other times as well.

 

They have an old furnace that is constantly needing repair. My dad goes into that smoke filled house (he's allergic to smoke), does the work for free so the children won't be cold, and then is sick for three or fours days afterward. Every year same thing.

 

Neighbors across the road have filled prescriptions for the girls' frequent upper respiratory infections, which are diagnosed only after social services shows up on complaint of the paternal grandparents, takes the deadbeat and babies to the doctor, and then HAS THE NERVE TO DROP THE PRESCRIPTION AT THE NEIGHTBOR'S HOUSE AND ASK THEM TO FILL IT AND PAY FOR IT BECAUSE DINGDONG HAS DRUNK AWAY THAT WEEK"S WELFARE CHECK! Yep, you got it......to be completely honest with you, I feel absolutely awful for the caseworker because I can not imagine that her self-esteem is real pretty right now knowing that because politicians value lining the pockets of their major campaign donors, fraudulantly spend tax payer dollars, and poor money on pork barrel projects, she can't do her job and yank those kids out of the home. Can you imagine? Good Night I would not want to be her.

 

The church plus several of us in the neighborhood have paid on their propane bill as well as electric bill. We share garden produce.

 

Local mechanic has fixed their car twice for free.

 

Our church offered basic parenting classes. Free childcare was provided and a healthy lunch plus snacks at each seminar. They refused to come but wanted to know if they could still send the kids.

 

When the maternal grandmother was asked why the two biological donors chose to have the girls instead of terminate the pregnancies (not making a judgment call here, just happened to be in the grocery store and standing in line behind the questioner), she replied that she had counseled her daughter to have the babies because they'd get more welfare money.

 

During both pregnancies, several of us tried to get the "oven" to go to a crisis pregnancy center in the area that offers all kinds of wonderful services to moms in need. Child first aid, infant CPR, basic parenting, health and nutrition, etc. Every time they attend and participate in a class, they get to take free things home for their babies and little gift bags for themselves - lotion, bath salts, nail polish, vitamins, deodorant, pretty towels, hair clips, etc. She wouldn't go unless they'd let her take all the free stuff and not stay for the class. After the birth of the last one, she hit the road with a hippy girlfriend and hasn't been seen since.

 

It's not that we haven't tried to help them. Even some level of mediore care would be better than what they are getting. I think we are all about as discouraged as we can get and now the community is just plain ANGRY! I have this horrible, sinking feeling that nothing will be done and this will be another six o'clock news tragedy. I have so much sorrow for the babies, but even though I am a devout Christian, I think any compassion I had for the parents is long gone!

 

Faith

 

I would report you local DSS to the state if for nothing else than allowing them to continue on welfare. Federal law mandates limits.

[Teachin'Mine]

I will be praying for these little ones.

 

If you're serious that you'd take them in if you could, have you considered asking them if they'd let you adopt them? I know it's a far fetch that they'd let one of their "loving" family go, but you never know. They may just consider them a burden and be happy to be out from under. And I understand that he'd know where they live and all too.

 

:grouphug:

[emeraldjoy]

I agree with the above poster.....sit down with them and talk to them...be as blunt as possible.

It does sounds like so, so much has been done.

Good for your community!! Wow!

I am wondering though if anyone has just sat down face to face with these people and flat out asked them what was going on; wether they wanted the children...just face to face confronation?

I am sure the social worker has, but someone that is not part of the "system" may get a different reaction.

[Caraway]

..at least they can see what "normal" is like!

 

Would that be fair? Since no one is in a position to fix the problem, might the kids be better off not knowing there is one? It's one thing to say every bit counts, but sometimes I'm not so sure. They are little kids, I tend to think it needs to be all or nothing because they won't understand in between.

 

Rosie

 

 

I worked for a human services agency run by a man that had experienced severe emotional, physical, and sexual abuse. His story was part of a book used for training.

 

The book's author wanted to know why some severely abused people went on to be successful adults and others did not. The common thread that he found was that each of the successful people could point to ONE person or situation that they experienced which showed them that life could be different and better. Those brief moments of normalcy gave them hope.

 

 

As an aside- I have long believed that we should have a second tier of crimes that fall under "community service". Yes it was a crime, but the jury agrees that we are all better off for it...

[happyhomemaker25]

to smack the stupid neighbors two blocks over upside the head with an iron skillet and then take the children away!

 

So, I just drove in from picking up my eye shadow and other odds and ends for the trip. The 19 year old alcoholic, marinjuana abuser with two daughters ages 3 and 1, was out on the front porch of the children's maternal grandmother's house. He was announcing to them it was time to have lunch and proceeded to feed them....cheetos, dorritos, and mountain dew. He's smoking in their faces, the grandmother is smoking in their faces, and the little girls are absolutely filthy. It does not do a bit of good to call social services - everyone in this town has reported them repeatedly. The last time he was in jail, the grandmother (who is a terrible person) kept them. He's been in jail three times in the past year for 30 day periods over petty crimes. Mostly marijuana possession and drunk driving. Our county is in desperate financial straits and the social services department has been cut to the bone. Subsidy and per diem rates for foster care have been lowered so many times by our "all-knowing" politicians, that many families have dropped out of foster care. There isn't a family available for these girls. I'd join FIA just to get my hands on them, but since we live two blocks away, it would be difficult to keep the IDIOT out of our life.

 

The uncle, who lives in that house when he isn't in jail, is a three time prosecuted domestic violence champion, (always manages to find some girl to make his girlfriend so he can then rough her up), one time grand theft auto, and more counts of vandalizing and petty theft than you can count on your fingers and toes. We all figure that one of these days when he's running from the police on some petty crime, a law enforcement official will have decided "I'VE HAD JUST ABOUT ENOUGH OF THIS" and shoot him down.

 

You may ask where the mother is.....oh she ran off shortly after the birth of the youngest and has not been seen or heard of again. The police can't find her. She went out of state with some woman.

 

Mountain Dew, Cheetos, and dorritos, noses running down their faces, dirt caked from one end of them to the other, saggy diaper just about down to the knees of the one year old, and two chain smokers puffing in their faces with the scum bag uncle being released from jail tomorrow and reportedly moving back in with his "family". I'd like to barf on somebody.

 

Yep, some days, it just seems like a little neighborly violence would be a good thing!

 

Frustrated,

Faith

 

I hear ya honey. This is the life my cousin was raised in and the life she raised her kids in and now the cycle continues with her kids having kids and raising them the same way. Our whole family has tried to intervene and nothing comes from it. We just keep watching these children live this life. It's heartbreaking. They live in a very small town and everyone who lives there lives like that. It is so frustrating!

[cjbeach]

Faith, I think you have an AMAZING community there. I'm so impressed by the turnout of people trying to help the family. Wow.

My heart breaks for those kids. :grouphug:

[kalanamak]

 

If you're serious that you'd take them in if you could' date=' have you considered asking them if they'd let you adopt them? I know it's a far fetch that they'd let one of their "loving" family go, but you never know. They may just consider them a burden and be happy to be out from under. And I understand that he'd know where they live and all too.

[/quote']

 

Or they may be getting benes related to the two kids....

[Impish]

They probably get food stamps, welfare cause of the kids. I doubt they'd give them up if it meant less $$ for them. :glare: