Always feel awkward . . .

[DaffodilDreams]

when mentioning to credentialed educators that we home school. Anyone else ever feel this way? I feel irrationally guilty and don't want to hurt their feelings, devalue their education, skills, etc. Please tell me I'll "grow out of this". :001_unsure:

[jld]

Hon, drop those feelings right now! You are totally qualified; you are your children's mother!:)

[Sebastian (a lady)]

when mentioning to credentialed educators that we home school. Anyone else ever feel this way? I feel irrationally guilty and don't want to hurt their feelings, devalue their education, skills, etc. Please tell me I'll "grow out of this". :001_unsure:

 

I always approach these encounters with the attitude that I am a series educator, though with a small group of students. It probably helps that I am interested in ed policy, so I know a lot of the buzzwords. But I think that after a couple years you have a wide familiarity with things like learning styles and methods and kid lit.

 

I've had several friends and family who were teachers who swapped curriculum or teacher books with me.

[Rosie_0801]

You've probably read more education theory than they have. I know I've read more than any of the teachers I know. They aren't even interested in education theory! I don't know the situation there, but over here you do a three year degree to become a primary teacher, and a three year degree plus a one year diploma for secondary school. I've been studying this stuff for four years already, so I'm already a year ahead of the primary teacher graduates, and I have three years experience in the child I'm going to be teaching. Ha! That makes me sound so much cleverer than I am. Diplomas make people sound much cleverer than they are too.

 

There's a difference between unqualified and diploma-deficient.

 

Rosie

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

I started out as an education major in college and then changed my major after a year and a half of taking ed classes. One of my sisters has her teaching certificate (she has been homeschooling for 2 years now), and my best friend teaches high school drama and English. I can assure you that education classes do not necessarily make you an expert on education. I wouldn't feel awkward around someone because they have credentials in education. My best friend told me that every teacher worth his or her salt knows that education classes are not what makes a good teacher. That quality is either inborn or learned from experience. You are every bit as (or more) qualified to have an opinion on the education of your child as anyone else.

[Pamela H in Texas]

I do this DAILY! I work in the public school system and almost daily I get asked about where my own kids go to school. Usually it's not an issue. I am VERY confident in my choice for my kids. So I guess it'll probably get easier for you as you get more time under your belt also :)

 

BTW, don't challenge them though. Even if they don't take it badly, YOU will feel guilty. I'm still reeling over something I said to 3 teachers on Thursday. I'm going to go apologize this afternoon and maybe ask for clarification.

[Dmmetler]

Well, I AM a credentialed educator, and at times I feel really nervous admitting that fact (particularly since I'm not only a credentialed educator, but an adjunct professor of Music education) to homeschoolers, since, after all, my entire professional career is based around a system that they're not using-and that, I agree, is inferior to what most homeschoolers are doing!

[lollie010]

I don't feel guilty, but I am usually concerned about what they will think. Not concerned enough to do anything differently. I used to give reasons and justifications--now I just give a big confident smile.

[LibraryLover]

Some of our biggest supporters are folks in education, and there are several educators in my family and in dh's. Jesse Wise started off as a teacher, and Gatto, and John Holt etc. My exp has been overwhelmingly postivie with teacher/educator -type folks. So my answer is no. :)

[2cents]

I never feel intimidated. The few times I've been somewhat challenged by a teacher, they ended up being blown away that I knew more than they did regarding curriculum etc. and they leave me alone. I don't set out to make them uncomfortable and really go out of my way to respect them (which I honestly do) but if they get all 'attitude' on me, I'm not above dishing it back. I've been doing this for over 10 years and all grades (one in college now) so I feel totally confident. I can honestly say though that most of my experience has been supportive and a couple of my good friends are teachers. ;)

Edited April 26, 2010 by 2cents

[mommy4ever]

We are new to homeschooling. And I thought it would be awkward. We had to pull our 2 younger due do a serious incident at the school. Everyone that we've told has said essentially the same thing. We are so lucky to be in a position to able to homeschool. Many of the girls friends are jealous that they get to homeschool. DD11 best friend, mom, dad, step dad and step mom are all teachers. The only negative we have heard was the fact that we weren't being permitted to transfer, and they felt we should fight the system on it. I told them it wasn't worth the fight, and they both said, our girls are so bright, that they'll excel at home, and if we need any help with anything ask. The dad actually is completely frustrated with the school system, and is considering a new career. Mom actually is on mat leave, and won't be returning to teaching. She owns a private preschool, and is opening an after school care, so she has no need to teach, she has 2 businesses. So that tells me ALOT about our school system.

 

We are the 'main stream' family, with the exception of being the family 'with all those kids':001_huh:, living in an area that having 2 is considered a big family..lol. But other than that, we are the hockey mom and dad, the team manager, the volunteer. I am the go to mom when something needs doing, or a child needs watching...... We have gotten a couple families considering homeschooling now as well.

 

Now the MIL and FIL aren't all that supportive. There are some big concerns. But I am not her generation, I graduated from school high school AND went to college. I can read and write in 2 languages, and I have learned a third as well. She is old school, where teacher knows best and there is no way a parent is capable of teaching their child. But... in their eyes, their son married a revolutionary..lol. A SAHM and breast-feeding mom. Home cooking, baking, canning, researching diva, that insisted all her kids learn a second language. I'm told I'm too progressive for the red neck family!

 

And there will always be people who look down on home schooling. And that isn't due to anything more than fear. Fear brought on by ignorance of what homeschooling really is or can be, and the news clips that incite outrage by always showing the worst case scenario in homeschooling!

[DawnM]

No, but I taught in the public school system for 16 years, so that may be part of it. There is nothing they can say that I don't already know, AND they leave the bad stuff out when trying to convince me about putting my kids back in school. Then when they start the complaining again later I make sure and bring up what they said before, when they were trying to convince me to put my kids BACK in school! :lol:

[May]

Never feel intimidated! I was surprised how little the teachers at our church's dayschool knew about homeschooling or what fabulous materials are our there written for homeschoolers. I am a former teacher and I struggled to think outside the box while homeschooling my dd. I always admired that about those that didn't have that voice in there head "this is how it should be done."

[texasmama]

I just smile and say, "Homeschooling is what works for our family at this point. It's good that there are so many educational options available." That makes it a personal choice and leaves little to object to or debate. I never felt guilty so much as I felt sometimes that people took my decision to homeschool as a condemnation of their decision to send to public/private school.

[Impish]

Diploma-deficient. I love it!! Thanks Rosie!!! :lol:

[PeterPan]

The ps teachers I talk with are usually genuinely curious about homeschooling, not knowing how it works or ANYTHING. So I usually explain the state laws, testing, evaluation,etc. Then they start to wonder WHY we do it and whether it's a reflection of hating ps's, which of course would offend them, so I give some reasons they can understand (flexibility, ability to customize, etc.). They know the flaws in the ps's, so they aren't offended that someone would want to do differently, at least not the ladies I've talked with.

[Carol in Cal.]

I know more about curricula and various major approaches to teaching math, reading, and writing than most teachers. And I'm WAY more interested in those things--I love to discuss them, and teachers mostly do not.

[Guest Katia]

No. It doesn't bother me at all. Dh was certified to teach in 7 different states, and has taught at all grade levels in public, private and Christian schools. He's also taught at the college level. So.....I know first-hand what the teachers are all about. It isn't a problem for me.

 

However, it seems to be a problem (here in this state at least) for the teachers, themselves. They seem to think that I think I'm on equal footing with them, and that I should be giving them deference. They are used to people saying, "That is a Teacher" and just obeying what they say. (notice the capital letter - here they all think of themselves this way). And, honestly, I don't. I question everything, which I think is a good policy, but Teachers don't like to be questioned.

 

Doesn't bother me. At.All. I'm good.

[Tree House Academy]

Me too...and usually I get lots of evil looks and comments from them too. I have gotten to the point where I just don't go beyond "we homeschool" anymore.

[fairfarmhand]

ALL of the teachers that I run into are amazingly supportive, most of them say things like, "That is wonderful. I really wish our family was able to do that." They KNOW the deficiencies of our system, and are glad that others have the opportunity to avoid the educational holes that others fall into.

[msjones]

You've probably read more education theory than they have. I know I've read more than any of the teachers I know. They aren't even interested in education theory! I don't know the situation there, but over here you do a three year degree to become a primary teacher, and a three year degree plus a one year diploma for secondary school. I've been studying this stuff for four years already, so I'm already a year ahead of the primary teacher graduates, and I have three years experience in the child I'm going to be teaching. Ha! That makes me sound so much cleverer than I am. Diplomas make people sound much cleverer than they are too.

 

There's a difference between unqualified and diploma-deficient.

 

Rosie

 

Sorry, Rosie, but this is just the attitude I would suggest that she avoid. In no argument is it truly constructive to take the "well, you're just ignorant and although you look real smart on paper you don't really know anything and I DO" approach.

 

I have learned a lot about teaching from fellow homeschoolers. I have learned a lot about teaching from fellow certificated teachers. I have seen horrendously irresponsible homeschooling moms, and pathetic, ill-prepared teachers.

 

OP -- you may be surprised to find that many certificated teachers will enjoy talking with you about your teaching. That's what started my homeschooling journey -- talking with an enthusiastic homeschooling mom. I knew little to nothing about the world of homeschooling, and was immediately intrigued and so glad that this mom was willing to share all the wonderful opportunities she was providing for her girls.

 

We're not all arrogant anti-homeschooling ogres waiting to pounce upon unsuspecting homeschooling moms. ;)

[lovemyboys]

when mentioning to credentialed educators that we home school. Anyone else ever feel this way? I feel irrationally guilty and don't want to hurt their feelings, devalue their education, skills, etc. Please tell me I'll "grow out of this". :001_unsure:

 

To some degree, you'll probably always have a bit of this. I do.

 

Educators are invested in the system of education and you're outside that. It's natural that they're a bit wary (if not downright dismissive) of your choices. It's natural for you (and any of us) to feel a bit naked out on our own.

 

If you're newer to homeschooling, you will grow in understanding and confidence as the years roll by (hopefully). But you will have periods of self-doubt when your dc hit new levels or subjects that are a challenge. The relationship with your students evolves as they mature and become more independent. Curriculum choices are constantly expanding and confronting us with more options. Then there are the extra-curriculars.... We who choose to home-educate are actually very well-versed in education because we have to be to keep up.

 

I try to be matter-of-fact about our choices without being confrontational. When people, particularly educators, are curious in a genuine way, I try to give them information about what works *for us* without challenging their livelihood. If the information resonates with them to give a more positive take on homeschooling, all good.

 

But I do recognize that my choice to not use their system is, in a way, a challenge to the system they're invested in. So it's understandable that they will not be overly fond of my choice.

 

:001_smile:

[Dandelion]

when mentioning to credentialed educators that we home school. Anyone else ever feel this way? I feel irrationally guilty and don't want to hurt their feelings, devalue their education, skills, etc. Please tell me I'll "grow out of this". :001_unsure:

 

I don't feel guilty, but I have experienced my share of awkward moments when talking to teachers about homeschooling. Some have been supportive - others not so much. The awkward moments I've experienced have generally come about because the teacher(s) in question started drilling me about what we do or how I'm teaching different subjects (and if DS happened to be around, they started drilling him too).

 

Now, when I'm talking to someone who I know is in the teaching profession, I simply don't share that much. Or, I might ask THEM some questions about how they teach certain subjects - makes them feel appreciated and gets the spotlight off of what we do. Works beautifully! ;)

[Guest Virginia Dawn]

There are two "reading specialists" that attend my church. One is new. Yesterday, I jokingly said that I was a reading specialist too - I taught all my kids to read. I could tell she didn't know how to respond to that, so I just changed the subject.

 

I've talked with the other about reading and school. She told me she envied me because I didn't have to make and pack breakfast, lunch, and snacks for my kids in the morning before school. :-)

Edited April 26, 2010 by Virginia Dawn

[Rosie_0801]

Sorry, Rosie, but this is just the attitude I would suggest that she avoid. In no argument is it truly constructive to take the "well, you're just ignorant and although you look real smart on paper you don't really know anything and I DO" approach.

 

I think you misunderstand. i don't think teachers know nothing and I don't think homeschoolers know everything. I don't think I am out of line for thinking I have read more education theory than the teachers I know because I have read more education than the teachers I know, and I am bucket loads more interested than they are. My point wasn't that homeschoolers are superior to diploma holding teachers, but that we are not inferior to them. To merely say "you're not inferior so don't feel bad, Love" is a bit weak, so I was providing a bit more substance. I think people can be intimidated by diplomas and degrees, assuming they hold more substance than they do. I don't think a person can acquire one without learning anything and I'm not sure why you are using extreme words like "anything" and "nothing. It is entirely possible, though, to acquire these bits of paper with mediocre skills and that seems to be more common than graduating with fantastic skills. Fantastic skills are fantastic skills regardless of diploma holding status. Good skills are good skills regardless of diploma holding status. Crappy skills are crappy skills regardless of diploma holding status. A diploma doesn't necessarily mean the diploma holder has good skills or even better skills than a person without, but the diploma holder doesn't necessarily realise that. After all, they have a diploma and that should mean something, shouldn't it?

 

Rosie

[Gooblink]

We were in FL last fall and visited a driving range mid-morning. The person working there was a retired school teacher and asked why the boys weren't in school. She then put them through 20 questions to ensure they were really learning something. I just kept telling myself to grin and bear it...and said a little prayer that the boys knew the answers to her questions!

 

They passed her test and got 2 free buckets of balls. LOL

[Embassy]

I don't feel guilty. I think a true educator would value a personalized education. Sometimes my response that we homeschool is met with silence or awkwardness. I have no problem discussing why we do what we do. I think some educators bite their tongue. Some are quite silly. I had one tell me last school year to stop by the local district and get a list of what I need to teach.

[DaffodilDreams]

Thanks for all the encouragement and words of wisdom! I feel better already! :)

[Giraffe]

You want to talk awkward? My SIL homeschools her kids. Her sister is a public school teacher and sends all her kids to public school. I think they finally agreed to disagree on the subject and they just don't discuss it anymore. I would want to crawl under my chair whenever the subject of education came up because while they tried to be gracious, both feel strongly about their choices.

[msjones]

I think you misunderstand.

 

I'm not sure why you are using extreme words like "anything" and "nothing.

Rosie

 

Well, I didn't use the word "nothing." But in using the word "anything" I was attempting to reflect what was, in my opinion, the somewhat adversarial approach that you suggested the OP use when feeling awkward around a certificated teacher.

 

She didn't say a teacher had made her feel inferior -- only that she felt "awkward." In my opinion, it would not be helpful for the OP to begin assuming the teacher actually had an inferior, unimpressive education so that the OP could somehow feel better about herself by silently belittling the teacher.

 

But, as you said, it could be that I simply misunderstood.

[annandatje]

when mentioning to credentialed educators that we home school. Anyone else ever feel this way? I feel irrationally guilty and don't want to hurt their feelings, devalue their education, skills, etc. Please tell me I'll "grow out of this". :001_unsure:

 

I do not follow why stating that you homeschool would be hurtful or a putdown to professional educators. Are you seeking others' approval of your educational choices? If yes, that is a tough path to travel. You could offer up a more palatable euphemism for homeschooling like "my children are privately tutored" if you wish to avoid controversy. In the long run, there is no shortcut for developing confidence in your own decision making abilities.

[IsabelC]

when mentioning to credentialed educators that we home school. Anyone else ever feel this way? I feel irrationally guilty and don't want to hurt their feelings, devalue their education, skills, etc. Please tell me I'll "grow out of this". :001_unsure:

Um, nope, never feel like that. I wonder whether your feelings come from a paradigm that sees school as normal and home ed as something deviant that needs to be justified. I view school as an optional service that some (well, OK, most lol) families choose to use. So I wouldn't feel bad about not using schools any more than I'd feel bad about meeting a plastic surgeon because I don't choose to have a face-lift.

 

Or, to put it another way, I see a professional teacher as a substitute for a home educating parent, rather than the other way around. I'm not denying that the teacher may be better academically qualified than me and better versed in pedagogical methodology (although, worryingly, some aren't), or more experienced at teaching (most are). But given that I have a teacher student ratio of 3:1 instead of 20 or 30:1, I am far more flexible, I know my child better and I love my child more, I reckon my overall qualifications for the job are at least as good as hers.

[IsabelC]

We're not all arrogant anti-homeschooling ogres waiting to pounce upon unsuspecting homeschooling moms. ;)

Of course not! But the ones who 'pounce' do tend to be the arrogant (or at least ignorant) anti homeschoolers. Most teachers are either sympathetically interested or neutral in attitude.

[DaffodilDreams]

I do not follow why stating that you homeschool would be hurtful or a putdown to professional educators. Are you seeking others' approval of your educational choices? If yes, that is a tough path to travel. You could offer up a more palatable euphemism for homeschooling like "my children are privately tutored" if you wish to avoid controversy. In the long run, there is no shortcut for developing confidence in your own decision making abilities.

 

hmmm . . . a tad harsh and presumptuous of you to question my confidence in my decision making abilities. I never stated that I lack confidence in my decision to educate my own child. Rather, I put forth that I'm uncomfortable discussing the subject with licensed educators. There's a difference. No, I do not seek their approval. My awkwardness stems from my ability to empathize with others and consider how I myself MIGHT feel if I were such a teacher. Ever consider that it's quite possible that what we've chosen to do might be construed as complete opposition to and, consequently, lack of appreciation for the way they've chosen to earn a living? I don't think that's such a far-fetched possibility.

[ThatCyndiGirl]

There are two "reading specialists" that attend my church. One is new. Yesterday, I jokingly said that I was a reading specialist too - I taught all my kids to read. I could tell she didn't know how to respond to that, so I just changed the subject.

 

 

 

:001_huh: Ouch. I'll bet that she ''didn't know how to resond to that'' because she knows that being a ''reading specialist'' means more than "teaching a kid how to read". I've taught two to read so far, but would NEVER (even jokingly) refer to myself as a reading specialist. I've given my kids medication before, but wouldn't jokingly refer to myself as a nurse.

[msjones]

:001_huh: Ouch. I'll bet that she ''didn't know how to resond to that'' because she knows that being a ''reading specialist'' means more than "teaching a kid how to read". I've taught two to read so far, but would NEVER (even jokingly) refer to myself as a reading specialist. I've given my kids medication before, but wouldn't jokingly refer to myself as a nurse.

 

This is a phenomena I only find on homeschooling boards -- assuming (while having little or no specific information about the teacher being discussed) that a trained teacher actually knows only very little about the area in which she has been trained.

[Rosie_0801]

This is a phenomena I only find on homeschooling boards -- assuming (while having little or no specific information about the teacher being discussed) that a trained teacher actually knows only very little about the area in which she has been trained.

 

It also seems to be your pleasure to notice this phenomena in places it doesn't exist, and appear happy to continue with that train of thought even when corrected. You are also making assumptions, you see?

 

My neighbour's child had experience with a reading specialist. Any lay person who'd taught a child to read would be a reading specialist in comparison to him. This fellow worked with the girl for months without either realising or caring that she was memorising books. That is a specialist in name, not in practice.

 

Rosie

[susancollins]

My mom is a teacher she has her Masters Degree and she is completing her national board certification. At first I felt ackward but she has seen what I am doing and she is now very proud of me! She even talks to her friends about me and shows them photos of my classroom.

[msjones]

It also seems to be your pleasure to notice this phenomena in places it doesn't exist, and appear happy to continue with that train of thought even when corrected. You are also making assumptions, you see?

 

 

 

Rosie

 

No, I don't.

 

I think it's safe to assume that we will not agree on this topic, and also that continuing our exchange will not be helpful to the OP.