My visit to the Catholic church....was not good....

[milovany]

Tammy, I'm sorry you had the experience you did! We now attend a highly liturgical church after having attended more "free flowing" evangelical churches for many years and I understand what you're saying! I think the best thing that happened for us was that we were invited to church by another Orthodox person, and she stood next to us and told us what was going on (whispered in my ear) throughout the service. We still felt "lost" LOL, but we did come away feeling like we understood better why this type of service would be what someone was looking for.

[Impish]

I did try to help by saying perhaps the format was b/c of Palm Sunday.

 

It's fine if people disagree with me. But people see what they want to see.

 

I went to a Buddhist temple once for a service. I can honestly say I didn't understand a word of the chalisas that were being chanted b/c it was a foreign lang. (maybe Hindi?) but I never would have walked out before the service was over and then said I got nothing out of it.

I don't get it. Seriously.

 

Not everyone is going to be comfortable in every setting. Not everything is going to speak to everyone. Yes, absolutely, there are times when someone doesn't get anything from a service, be it their home church/religion or no. The situation described in the OP, be it ANY church, would have been difficult to sit through, imo. If I want to read/be read to, I can do that at home. I've never been to a service, in any religion, where that was the major part of the service.

 

It sounds, to me, like a poor set up, regardless of the religion/church, or day. That sort of service (overhead projector, simply having something read aloud) isn't likely to connect to many people, esp those searching for their place. Any service I've attended had far more than simply being read aloud to involved, regardless of the church (I've tried Catholic, Anglican, Presbyterian, United and Alliance.)

 

And I see no reason to force a person to remain for the entirety of a service that isn't speaking to them. As long as they leave quietly, at an opportune time, not being an interruption or distraction, then its fine.

 

Has to be, given how many parents have had to leave part way through! :lol:

[happyhappyjoyjoy]

that this church (and maybe all Catholic churches) are a bit too formal for my liking. Also....it was a pretty big church....not the small community of people I was wanting. I guess you never know what to expect without visiting?

 

We plan on trying out another church this Sunday...it is a Presbyterian church, much smaller than the Catholic church.

 

I was trying to find something somewhat close to my house.

 

I hope everyone knows how little I know about churches.....so maybe it was just me. I didn't feel comfortable there....and want a more 'friendly' kind of church....hence the smaller one....maybe?

 

.

 

If you equate liturgy with formal, than a Catholic church will not be up your alley. Mainstream Protestant (Presbyterian, Methodist, etc...) will have elements of liturgy but less than Catholic. Evangelical, Baptist, Non-denom will have much less liturgy and be much less formal.

 

Also, on average Catholic parishes are very large. There are usually many mass times between Sat. night, Sun. morning, and Sun evening, so even though the church building might be the same size as a non-denom church with one service there will be at least 5 times as many members. In my experience, even in a large parish, there are those that are very active and once you meet them it can feel like a smaller parish after you get involved.

 

No matter what kind of church you visit some will be more welcoming than others. This is not a characteristic that is exclusive to one denomination.

 

And a final thought about the projector. I remember you mentioned that the priest had a think Spanish accent. Maybe that was to help people understand him?? Still it is very unusual.

 

Best of luck in your search.

[Sahamamama]

It sounds harsh no matter what religion you are writing about.

 

No, it sounds like she is seeking something, and it sounds as though she's walking blind-folded with this. I'll admit, at first I didn't understand why the OP posted her "question." :001_huh: But she isn't just stirring the pot, she's trying to figure something out and needs to discuss it.

 

Courage, Tammy. In the Bible, in the book of James, we read:

If any of you lacks wisdom, he [or she] should ask God,

who gives generously to all without finding fault,

and it [wisdom] will be given to him [or her].

Ask God to guide you in this, and believe that He will lead you. :grouphug:

[PollyOR]

And I see no reason to force a person to remain for the entirety of a service that isn't speaking to them. As long as they leave quietly, at an opportune time, not being an interruption or distraction, then its fine.

 

:iagree:

[PollyOR]

This thread explains why Tammy was visiting the church.

http://www.welltrainedmind.com/forums/showthread.php?t=163427

[unsinkable]

I don't get it. Seriously.

 

Not everyone is going to be comfortable in every setting. Not everything is going to speak to everyone. Yes, absolutely, there are times when someone doesn't get anything from a service, be it their home church/religion or no. The situation described in the OP, be it ANY church, would have been difficult to sit through, imo. If I want to read/be read to, I can do that at home. I've never been to a service, in any religion, where that was the major part of the service.

 

It sounds, to me, like a poor set up, regardless of the religion/church, or day. That sort of service (overhead projector, simply having something read aloud) isn't likely to connect to many people, esp those searching for their place. Any service I've attended had far more than simply being read aloud to involved, regardless of the church (I've tried Catholic, Anglican, Presbyterian, United and Alliance.)

 

And I see no reason to force a person to remain for the entirety of a service that isn't speaking to them. As long as they leave quietly, at an opportune time, not being an interruption or distraction, then its fine.

 

Has to be, given how many parents have had to leave part way through! :lol:

 

The part that might be getting lost in all this that the Gospel for Palm Sunday can take anywhere from 30 to 40 minutes to read. At least, it would take 25 minutes.

 

It is called the Passion. It includes Jesus' trial and crucifixition. It takes a long time to read.

 

There is much much much more to a Roman Catholic Mass than being read to.

 

No one is forcing anyone to stay for anything. But you can't say you did something if you left before it was over.

 

Tammy had had enough & left, which she has every right to say and do.

 

But Mass is not a baseball game, in which you see a few innings and get the general gist of it.

 

My opinion is if you leave early, you are missing something.

[unsinkable]

Tammy:

 

Here's my final thoughts:

 

Best wishes.

 

You are a great mom.

 

I hope & pray you find what you are searching for, for yourself and your son.

[Guest Cindie2dds]

I want to first say....that I hope not to offend any Catholics here (or anyone else)....but....I did NOT like my experience there AT ALL.

 

I felt it was very impersonal using a projector to read the sermon (which had no focus)....and you can't even SEE the person who is actually reading it....although I couldn't understand anything he said since he had a thick Spanish accent.

 

At one point a person stood up at the front and read something from the Bible....again....no real focus on the 'message'. He never even looked at the parishioners....just read the piece...then sat down.

 

After 45 minutes of this stuff.....I had to get up and leave. I felt no reason to continue....I didn't get a THING out of it.

 

It also didn't seem like a 'community' of followers....

 

I think I would be more comfortable in a non-denominational church?

.

 

Tammy,

 

Sorry you had this experience. When we first moved back to Texas, we went to a small, intimate Catholic Church where the musical instrument was a guitar (St. Jerome's). Not all Catholic Churches are exactly alike even though they have the same readings. I hope you can find a community you like for you and your son. :grouphug:

[2squared]

Different masses in the same parish will have a different feel as well. Something seemingly so little as a different choir makes the entire mass different. I love upbeat, fun music which our church doesn't have.

 

When dh was in a law school, we went to mass at a Newman center. FABULOUS!!!

[Brigitte]

that this church (and maybe all Catholic churches) are a bit too formal for my liking. Also....it was a pretty big church....not the small community of people I was wanting. I guess you never know what to expect without visiting?

 

We plan on trying out another church this Sunday...it is a Presbyterian church, much smaller than the Catholic church.

 

I was trying to find something somewhat close to my house.

 

I hope everyone knows how little I know about churches.....so maybe it was just me. I didn't feel comfortable there....and want a more 'friendly' kind of church....hence the smaller one....maybe?

 

.

 

Tammy,

I would not base your opinion of the Catholic Church on this one church. If I had been a person exploring churches and happened upon my mom's church (a Catholic church), I would never have come back to the faith. Her church is big (2000 families) and more impersonal with modern architecture that has awful accoustics. The Catholic church we fell upon and attend faithlfully is small (400 families) with a traditional architecture (think small European stone church), and a diverse congregation. We have ladies who cover their head for mass and others who wear jeans and flip flops. Our pastor has meaningful homilies and you feel your very soul being touched during mass. My mother's church leaves me feeling unfulfilled.

 

So, I recommend trying another. And, if you are denomination shopping, so to speak, I would say the same regardless of the denomination, assuming you agree with the doctrine of that denomination.

 

I see you are in FL. If you are near Apollo Beach, I might be able to let you know what the other Catholic churches are like, as my dad and step-mom live there.

 

I wish you all the best on your journey.

 

Brigitte

 

ETA: When we set out on our search for a church 1.5 years ago, we had no preconceived notion of where we would end up. We had to find a denomination that fit our beliefs (or convinced us of theirs) and the community had to fit us as well. It just so happened that it was the Catholic church that did that for us. Our particular parish is an excellent fit, but the doctirne of the church fits us no matter where we attend, eventhough we find some churches we attend when out of town lacking what we need and find familiar. That is a long way of saying, you have to find the balance between the beliefs of the denomination and the "culture" of the parish. If you find the beliefs, there is likely a parish (not sure that is what protestant churches call it, but you know what I mean) that will fit you, too. It just might not be closest to your home.

Edited March 29, 2010 by Brigitte

[Impish]

In every sermon I've ever attended, there was much more than being read to...but in the situation described in the OP, it seems as though there wasn't.

 

And staying for 45 minutes *is* enough to be able to discern if it is something that is speaking to you or not.

 

I suggest, again, that its not the religion that is an issue, but rather this particular one, on this particular day.

 

Just as I realize not all priests would be as obnoxious as the one I encountered, not all sermons, in all churches, are the same. Some are downright tedious and boring...yet at the same religion, different church, different person leading the sermon, and its wonderful.

 

I can completely see someone asking, as Tammy did, if this is what there is to it (normally), then its not for them.

[Guest Cindie2dds]

....They tend to get offended if you don't know the whole stand-up-sit-down routine.

 

:lol: My dh calls it "Catholic Calisthenics." This was one of the hardest things for him to get used to. I can be very overwhelming for a newcomer. It is also something that can make one feel like they don't belong.

[HRAAB]

Sorry you were offended. I have NO religious background....and am just trying to find a suitable church for my son. I also plan to attend with him....so I am trying to find something we both like.

 

.

 

You didn't offend me at all.

[sassenach]

Finding a church is a weird experience, even for those who are familiar with church culture. Churches are like families, each one has its own way of doing things. Some denominations are more liturgical (everyone saying the same prayer, at the same time, answering the same questions, all in unison), and some churches are extremely informal (think church in a bar). There is every possible point in between. Add to that that even within a denomination, there is a pretty wide scope of what that church family will look like. It can be exhausting to find a place that is a good fit. I don't envy ANYONE who is searching for a church, least of all someone like you, who is kind of flying blind.

 

It sounds like a non-denominational (or maybe methodist, presbyterian, ev free) might work for you. Small would probably be better if you are looking to connect quickly (but sometimes small also means closed). Do you have any church going friends? They might have some suggestions.

 

Catholic, episcopal and Lutheran are more on the formal end (in my mind, I am SURE there are exceptions)

 

Pentecostal and I *think* Assembly of God are often charismatic, which means there service might involve things like speaking in tongues. I'm not sure what your comfort level would be with that. Just something to consider.

 

Websites are sometimes a good way of scoping out a church in advanced. You can sometimes hear a message and see what they have going on in their community.

 

Best wishes,

[Hedgehogs4]

never mind.

[Brigitte]

The part that might be getting lost in all this that the Gospel for Palm Sunday can take anywhere from 30 to 40 minutes to read. At least, it would take 25 minutes.

 

It is called the Passion. It includes Jesus' trial and crucifixition. It takes a long time to read.

 

There is much much much more to a Roman Catholic Mass than being read to.

 

QUOTE]

 

YES! If my first mass at my church had been the Palm Sunday mass, I would likely never have gone back. It is long and if you don't know the history behind it, it is going to be tedious.

[chiguirre]

I want to first say....that I hope not to offend any Catholics here (or anyone else)....but....I did NOT like my experience there AT ALL.

 

I felt it was very impersonal using a projector to read the sermon (which had no focus)....and you can't even SEE the person who is actually reading it....although I couldn't understand anything he said since he had a thick Spanish accent.

 

At one point a person stood up at the front and read something from the Bible....again....no real focus on the 'message'. He never even looked at the parishioners....just read the piece...then sat down.

 

After 45 minutes of this stuff.....I had to get up and leave. I felt no reason to continue....I didn't get a THING out of it.

 

It also didn't seem like a 'community' of followers....

 

I think I would be more comfortable in a non-denominational church?

.

 

Actually, some of this does sound like mass today at my parish, and it's because it's Palm Sunday. We started outside and, no, most people couldn't see the priest doing the blessing of the palms, we just heard it over the speakers. OTOH, we were close to the doors so we actually got a seat when the congregation entered the church (this is an accomplishment). The readings are read by a lay lector who doesn't really try to draw meaning from them, they're just reading them. Some prayers are projected as supertitles above the altar, but not the readings (although, I think that would be a good idea, honestly). Today's gospel reading was about 10 times longer than normal and it's the only one (that I recall) that has more than one lector. The quality (and intelligibility) of the homily depends on which priest is presiding. Sometimes it can be hard to understand a priest with a heavy accent.

 

From your description, you might have been stuck in an overflow room where the mass is on closed circuit tv (if you're lucky) or on a loudspeaker (if you're not). If that's what happened, I'm not surprised that your experience was not very fulfilling. It's probably better on a more normal Sunday.

 

I'd keep visiting different churches, but be aware that next week is Easter and it will be very crowded everywhere. I doubt you'll get a true picture of any church next week. But after that, things will die down and be back to normal for most churches. Catholic churches may start doing First Communions which can take several weeks. Our parish will have First Communicants at 3 masses per Sunday for 3 Sundays. Those masses will also be jam packed and full of people who are there to celebrate a special occasion for their family.

 

The Easter season is a rough time to get a true idea of what a church is like, because it's the season where things are different. It is important to feel comfortable with church if you're going every week, especially if you're just accompanying your child. I was raised Catholic so it feels familiar, even though I'm not a Christian. I know when to sit, stand, kneel. I know the words. It makes it easy to follow along. If you've never attended church, it will be tougher to find a place that you feel comfortable with. In your place, I'd go with what your ds likes best. After a couple of weeks, you'll feel comfortable (as long as you don't have an experience like Impish!!!).

 

Good luck!

[happyhappyjoyjoy]

:lol: My dh calls it "Catholic Calisthenics." This was one of the hardest things for him to get used to. I can be very overwhelming for a newcomer. It is also something that can make one feel like they don't belong.

 

I remember visiting a Baptist church once and they sang something called 'Doxology'. Everyone knew it by heart and didn't need a hymnal for it. I felt very weird, since I didn't know it and my friend's mom said, "And here we thought we didn't have traditions." LOL. I also felt the same way when my friend took me to a living Christmas tree and everyone stood during Handle's Messiah. I had no experience with that either and had no idea why we were standing:) Once I learned why though I thought it was neat.

[Mrs Mungo]

I've been attending church my entire life, and one thing that has struck me recently is how difficult it is to feel comfortable in a church that I am visiting as opposed to my home church. It can be very awkward and uncomfortable to fully participate in a service when I'm not familiar with the church. I just can't quite settle in, and feel a bit nervous I guess, not knowing exactly what to expect. I can only imagine that feeling would be intensified if I had no church background whatsoever.

 

Finding a church is a weird experience, even for those who are familiar with church culture.

 

I agree. Because of our moves, we have to find a new home church every time. Sometimes this happens quickly and painlessly and sometimes it doesn't. Being a visitor in a church is not necessarily the most comfortable thing, even when you are accustomed to attending church.

 

Pentecostal and I *think* Assembly of God are often charismatic, which means there service might involve things like speaking in tongues. I'm not sure what your comfort level would be with that. Just something to consider.

 

I was raised Assembly of God and they definitely believe in the gifts of the spirit, including faith healing and speaking in tongues.

 

Websites are sometimes a good way of scoping out a church in advanced. You can sometimes hear a message and see what they have going on in their community.

 

I agree. This is a very good way to check out churches.

[Renee in NC]

You didn't offend me at all.

 

No offense taken here.

[Guest Cindie2dds]

I remember visiting a Baptist church once and they sang something called 'Doxology'. Everyone knew it by heart and didn't need a hymnal for it. I felt very weird, since I didn't know it and my friend's mom said, "And here we thought we didn't have traditions." LOL.

 

You're right! I had forgotten about that. The first time my husband took me to a Baptist church, I felt completely lost because there were a lot of songs that weren't in the Hymnal. I about passed out when someone turned around and wanted to talk to me in the middle of the service too. :001_huh: I wanted to crawl under the pews. One person's comfort is another's torture. :lol: Sorry, I digress.

 

Tammy, have you tried a UU church? My Dad and stepmom have been able to both be comfortable there. Just a suggestion.

[Crimson Wife]

I'm a devout Catholic and we walked out of Palm Sunday Mass today after it took 1 hour 45 minutes just to get to the homily. :blushing: I'm going to take the kids to daily Mass tomorrow to make up for missing the Liturgy of the Eucharist.

 

Please don't judge Catholicism based on your experience on Palm Sunday!

[MamaSheep]

The Catholic services I've been to didn't use a projector either, but I understand what you're saying about the level of formality. Maybe if you gave us more of an idea of what you are looking for, and hoping to avoid, in a church we might be able to suggest a few options that would be more suitable and help you narrow down the field a little. For example, from what you said here it sounds like you're looking for something that's less formal and more instructive, rather than something highly ritualistic. In researching churches, words like "liturgical" and "high church" usually indicate a formal, ritualistic style of worship somewhat like what you saw (though not with the projector...I don't know what that was all about, usually there's a priest up at the front doing the sermon part himself; maybe they wanted everyone to be able to see). Hopefully that will help you know more up front what you are walking into and be caught a little less off guard by it. My in-laws are Episcopalian, and I have to admit that while I find visiting their church services interesting from a comparative religion standpoint, I would not want to do that regularly either.

 

You mentioned that you have no church background yourself and are looking for a church for your son (how old is your son, BTW?), and that you want one where there is a feeling of community. Are there particular teachings or practices that you or your son would find important for a church to have, or not have? For example, some churches practice baptism by immersion, some by sprinkling, and some don't really bother all that much with it as they feel it's just an empty symbolic gesture anyway. Some churches expect absolute silence during services, whereas other churches expect participants to jump up and down and wave their hands in the air and shout. Do you plan on attending church with your son, or are you looking for a program where you can drop him off and pick him up after? I ask because some churches have separate services for children and adults, some have worship services for adults and older children and just have sort of a daycare for the younger kids, and in other churches families attend worship services together.

 

What would you kind of hope a church service would be like?

 

I can tell you about my faith's services, if that would be helpful. They tend to be quite standardized throughout the world, as we view the whole thing as one big church meeting in different smaller groups, rather than as many small groups who share an affiliation. (In fact, one of the things I really like about it is that I know I can attend services anywhere and it will be the same.)

 

I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. This is often abbreviated to LDS, and we've acquired the nickname of "Mormon".

 

Our church meetinghouses are generally fairly utilitarian, not a lot in the way of stained glass and fancy architecture. Congregations tend to be on the small side in most places. If they get to be more than five or six hundred people they're usually split into two congregations, so you're not going to run into a situation where you're lost in a sea of 3000 people. We don't have a professional clergy, the leaders are just members of the congregation who've been asked to serve in a particular capacity for a while, and they shift around as needed. A congregation is led by a bishop (or a branch president if it's particularly small) who is in charge of keeping things organized.

 

A typical Sunday worship service would start with the congregation singing a hymn together, followed by a prayer offered by a member of the congregation who has been asked by the bishop to do this. (Such prayers are fairly informal, talking to God kinds of prayers. Only the person offering the prayer speaks, and at the end the congregation usually says, "amen" to indicate agreement with what was said in the prayer. But don't feel obligated to do so yourself.) After that there might be announcements, or items of church business, such as changes in leadership. This is usually followed by another hymn while members of the lay priesthood prepare the sacramental emblems (this would be the sacrament of the Lord's supper, or communion; we usually call it "the sacrament", and we use bread and water). After the hymn, the bread will be blessed and passed to the congregation in little trays, followed by the blessing and passing of the water. It is good form not to take the sacrament unless you are a member, just pass the tray on to the person next to you. The sacrament prayers are two of a very small number of formal prayers in our church that must be said the proper way, so these will be the same every time. Again, only the person offering the prayer speaks, and then the congregation says "amen" at the end. This is considered the most sacred and important part of the worship service. After the sacrament has been blessed and passed, there are usually between two and four talks given by members of the congregation who have been invited to do so and given a subject to speak on by the bishop. Often there is another hymn in the middle, or a musical number by the choir or a church member. At the end the congregation sings another hymn and then there's another prayer. And that's pretty much all there is to it. There are a few variations that you might come across; for example, the first Sunday of every month it's a testimony meeting, which basically means that instead of assigned speakers anyone can come up and say a few words (preferably on a faith-inspiring sort of topic), and sometimes you might see a baby blessing or a confirmation at the beginning of the service. But this is the standard format.

 

In addition to the main worship service (which we call "sacrament meeting", btw), there are a series of classes each Sunday. Some congregations have them before, some after sacrament meeting. These are scheduled during two one-hour blocks so that you'd go to one class during the first hour, and a different one during the second hour. The children's organization is called "Primary". During one block the kids will meet in small groups of similar age for lessons, and during the other block they meet together for "sharing time", which is singing and stories and that sort of thing. There are Sunday school classes for youth and adults, which will focus on a different book of our scripture each year in a four-year rotation, and then the other block has separate meetings of the men's organization and the women's organization, with lessons on various gospel topics.

 

Other things to be aware of that come to mind are that the meeting generally takes a little over an hour, and families attend together, so there will be no separate children's service or babysitting available during the worship service. Women usually wear dresses or skirts, and men usually wear business suits or slacks with a shirt and tie. If you show up in something else they're not going to be mean about it, though. They probably would assume that you are a visitor, which is fine, we love visitors.

 

You should probably also be aware that we are not considered a "mainstream", "traditional" Christian church because some of our teachings and history are quite different from most Christian churches, but we most definitely consider ourselves to be Christ's church. I'd be happy to discuss similarities and differences, or specific teachings if you'd like.

 

This link can help you find a meetinghouse near where you live: http://www.mormon.org/mormonorg/eng/worship-with-us

 

ETA: You know...it just occurred to me that I should mention that this coming Sunday will be quite different and if you were to visit it would not look at all like what I just described. On the first Sunday of April and the first Sunday of October we have our semi-annual general conference for the church worldwide. It's held in Salt Lake City and broadcast by satellite and internet around the world. Most meetinghouses will be open and have the broadcast playing for those who want to come watch it, but many church members will just watch it from home. So if you want to see a typical service wait a week. :) You're welcome to watch the conference yourself, though. I quite enjoy it myself. The speakers are people in leadership positions for the worldwide church (which we call "general authorities", as opposed to local authorities), including the president of the church and the 12 apostles of the church, among others. Sessions are two hours long and there are two sessions on Saturday and two on Sunday. They start at 10:00am and 2:00pm mountain time. To access the live internet feed go to this page: http://www.lds.org/broadcast/gc/0,5161,9080,00.html. Also, there are archives of past conferences here if you want to see in advance what it would be like.

Edited March 29, 2010 by MamaSheep

[Tree House Academy]

Yeah, sounds like you just happened upon one that was not your cuppa. Try another. Are you Catholic? If not, why did you choose a Catholic Church? Non-denominational is going to be a christ-believing, praying church just like most other Christian Churches. I know Catholics are Christians, but they definitely differ the most in terms of worship from most other Christians. The biggest difference off the top of my head being the priest as a line of communication to God.

 

My point is definitely not to debate religion, etc. I just know that, as a Christian who prays daily to my Father, God, if I were going to look for other churches, I would go with non-denominational or Methodist to most closely align with where I am now belief wise (this is if I were to leave the Baptist church). Likewise, if I were Catholic, I would likely NOT venture to a Baptist church and expect it to be similar to what I was used to as a Catholic. Does that make sense?

Edited March 29, 2010 by Tree House Academy

[ktog29]

You know, I was raised going to every denomination of church there was...Catholic, Presbyterian, Episcopalian, Lutheran and Baptist. I always wondered why Catholics seemed less friendly...but then it occurred to me that with 4-5 Masses each week at a church means you can see a new person, introduce yourself and welcome them, only to find out they've been members of the church for 20 years but go to a different Mass :blushing: Oops.

 

When I was searching for a church, someone pointed out the me, as I was commenting on not feeling "fed," that maybe church wasn't all about me. She said maybe it was about worshiping God. Huh. That was eye-opening. I'd never thought about it that way before :tongue_smilie: Sometimes I have to remind myself of this when I've missed most of Mass taking children in and out as they make noise, need to use the restroom, etc.

 

Finally, the books recommended by a pp are terrific and amazing. From the outside looking in, the Mass is boring, strange and seemingly pointless. But once you begin to learn what is going on in the Mass...WOW! It's literally Heaven on Earth!!! It's the most amazing thing there is. Before you give up on the Catholic Church, read a little bit about what Catholics believe takes place in the Mass. It's amazing.

 

Best wishes on your search.

[Parrothead]

 

Also, on average Catholic parishes are very large.

That really is going to depend on the area. Some of the places I've lived I've had home parishes that had 6 families, 70 families, 200 families. I've never been to one that had more than 500 families.

[Tree House Academy]

You're right! I had forgotten about that. The first time my husband took me to a Baptist church, I felt completely lost because there were a lot of songs that weren't in the Hymnal. I about passed out when someone turned around and wanted to talk to me in the middle of the service too. :001_huh: I wanted to crawl under the pews. One person's comfort is another's torture. :lol: Sorry, I digress.

 

Tammy, have you tried a UU church? My Dad and stepmom have been able to both be comfortable there. Just a suggestion.

 

Hehe - well, the talking I can see. We don't sing songs that aren't in the hymnals, though - unless the choir is singing it alone with their sheet music.

 

Now...food. Come to a Baptist church and we will feed ya. That may even be something Baptists are known for, I am not sure. We make fun of ourselves a lot because we have food at every event for one reason or another. Maybe that is just the Southern Baptists.

 

Even though I am Baptist, I would not use the word "devout" to describe my following of Baptist teachings. There are things I disagree with and I have chosen to know where I divide from the group and not get into a place where I feel uncomfortable.

[TracyR]

I agree. I wouldn't base your experience on Palm Sunday, those are really long services.

This is a first time that I've heard of a projector being used in a Catholic church though. But then we are still behind the times where we live here.

There are big Catholic churches and small ones. We have small ones in our little town, now if you go into the city they are much bigger and less "homier' feeling.

The best thing to do if you are not familiar with the Catholic/Christian faith is to read about it first. The Catholics are a bit more formal and traditional with their services.

Protestants tend to have services that for the most part speak for you. The only issue is that if you do not believe in being saved then you may have an issue with Protestant churches. Most if not all preach about accepting Jesus Christ into your heart as your Lord and Savior and this is the only way to get into Heaven. I have been to many different types of Protestant churches: Methodist, Presybeterian, Evengelical, Assemblies of God,Baptist ,and though you get that small homey feeling be prepared to hear about being saved in every service ( at least this is the theme where I live).

Not saying this as a negative at all because currently I'm attending a Evangelical church. But unless you understand why they believe this it may end up rubbing you the wrong way as well.

 

If your going to church for your son I would ask him where he may be comfortable (I'm assuming he is old enough to express that)with. There are so many flavors to religion and it may take you quite some time to find the right place. I've been going to church all my life and just recently found a church I feel comfortable with at the moment, though my husband doesn't and much prefers the Catholic church.

I've had positive experiences with churches and I've had some not so positive experiences with churches as well. You are not going to find the perfect church going to one service of one particular branch of Christianity. It definitely is going to take time.

 

Also another way to find a church is by talking with your friends. See where they go, ask questions about their church and then give it a try. Honestly it takes visiting a church a few times (especially if your familiar with the faith) to get a good impression.

I may of not have walked out in the service but that would not have impressed me either.

[TracyR]

Hehe - well, the talking I can see. We don't sing songs that aren't in the hymnals, though - unless the choir is singing it alone with their sheet music.

 

Now...food. Come to a Baptist church and we will feed ya. That may even be something Baptists are known for, I am not sure. We make fun of ourselves a lot because we have food at every event for one reason or another. Maybe that is just the Southern Baptists.

 

Even though I am Baptist, I would not use the word "devout" to describe my following of Baptist teachings. There are things I disagree with and I have chosen to know where I divide from the group and not get into a place where I feel uncomfortable.

 

That must be a Southern Baptist thing. Here in our small town Baptists are very unfriendly, dont' like to get involved with the community and keep to themselves. Its usually the Methodists in our area that like the food. LOL!

[Parrothead]

I'm a devout Catholic and we walked out of Palm Sunday Mass today after it took 1 hour 45 minutes just to get to the homily. :blushing: I'm going to take the kids to daily Mass tomorrow to make up for missing the Liturgy of the Eucharist.

 

Please don't judge Catholicism based on your experience on Palm Sunday!

Wow! After almost two hours I'd have wanted to walk out too. Unfortunately I usually can't. If I'm at mass dd is alter serving.

[LauraGB]

Tammy - I have to ask - does your son know what kind of church he used to go to? If not, have you two sat down and looked at all the different faiths to find the one that "speaks" to him? Faith is such a personal thing...

 

I have been mostly to Catholic services, and yes, they are formal, but primarily, they are personal. By that I mean most of the parishioners are not at the mass for congregation or fellowship for the most part, they are there because they feel drawn to Catholicism. And as far as the Christian faiths go, Catholics are the most steeped in antiquity and ceremony for their masses. I've also been to Baptist services, which are great fun and I left every one of them feeling totally exhilarated! Possibly that's what you are looking for? I've also been to Lutheran (both Missouri and Wisconsin synod, and even those vary from one another) and Methodist services, and, having been raised Catholic, left a little...disappointed. Not in the sermon, but in the atmosphere itself. But the congregation was super friendly and welcoming, so I can't complain at all about the service.

 

I think in the end, you might want to sit down with your son and a book of Christian faiths (if that's where he is drawn) and read about and discuss the differences in the faiths, because those differences are wide ranging.

 

Good luck. I think it's wonderful that you are trying to help your son find what he is looking for.

[Guest janainaz]

I grew up in that and fully understand what you are saying.

 

What you are feeling is the reflection of how much those people are actually able to connect with God. What you feel is what they believe about God. If it feels impersonal and distant, it's because that is the basis of their relationship. Someone who fully embraces the love that God is draws you in with that same love and you crave it more.

 

Go hug your kids tight and bask in that moment. In that feeling you find God. There is more to learn and understand about God just from feeling love for and from your children, and that can't be taught in a sermon at church.

 

You could go to any kind of church you want and end up with that same disconnected feeling. Again, people reflect in their actions what and who they believe God is.

[2squared]

When I was searching for a church, someone pointed out the me, as I was commenting on not feeling "fed," that maybe church wasn't all about me. She said maybe it was about worshiping God. Huh. That was eye-opening. I'd never thought about it that way before :tongue_smilie: Sometimes I have to remind myself of this when I've missed most of Mass taking children in and out as they make noise, need to use the restroom, etc.

 

Thanks for this. I needed it today! My kids were horrid at mass. :glare:

[happyhappyjoyjoy]

That really is going to depend on the area. Some of the places I've lived I've had home parishes that had 6 families, 70 families, 200 families. I've never been to one that had more than 500 families.

well you are in Maine:). (The population there is not as high as other places, and I did say on average:) Our current parish has 9 jampacked weekend masses and has 14,000 members. This cracks me up, because it is a normal size church building. I onced lived in city with a mega church that always made it known that they had over 14,000 members and had a huge stadium type sanctuary. Often people don't realize that many Catholic parishes have enough parishoners to be a "megachurch" The last county I lived in in FL (not there currently) had 11 parishes. Most of them were big. Some that were in smaller communities were like you are describing.

Edited March 29, 2010 by happyhappyjoyjoy
their there

[Parrothead]

well you are in Maine:). (The population there is not as high as other places, and I did say on average:) Our current parish has 9 jampacked weekend masses and has 14,000 members. This cracks me up, because it is a normal size church building. I onced lived in city with a mega church that always made it known that they had over 14,000 members and had a huge stadium type sanctuary. Often people don't realize that many Catholic parishes have enough parishoners to be a "megachurch" The last county I lived in in FL (not there currently) had 11 parishes. Most of them were big. Some that were in smaller communities were like you are describing.

Actually the 6 family church was in Montana and the 70 family church was in Georgia. (We get around.:lol:) In Arizona (4 weekend masses) we were at a Parish that had a school so it was fairly large. But at the other end of the same avenue there was a much smaller parish. And when we lived in South Carolina there was a parish (one mass Sunday at 11) with a school but the school and parish were both fairly small. The school actually grew much faster than the parish population.

 

I was simply pointing out that the OP may possibly go 5 miles down the road and find another Catholic parish that is smaller and more intimate.

[MamaSheep]

So Tammy, I'm wondering...and this is complete nosey curiosity, so feel free to ignore me...what did your son think of the service?

[mommaduck]

:lol: My dh calls it "Catholic Calisthenics."

 

:lol: Orthodox have it worse...stand, sit, stand, sit, stand, kneel, stand, turn, stand, prostrate (or try touching the floor without banging your head)...LOL!

 

Both of those are better than the pentacostal church we visited with their jumping jacks, victory laps around the sanctuary, and throwing themselves on the ground (yep, one woman broke her leg when she threw herself back "in the spirit" onto a stadium chair).

[Tammy]

because if he really did like it.....I would have just kept my mouth shut.

[Tammy]

and I wanted you all to know the reason I asked HERE was because you all know much more than I will ever know about denominations and religion in general....

 

I will let you all know what I think of the next church we attend this Sunday.....

 

Thanks again for all your help.....it was very encouraging!

 

.

[MamaSheep]

because if he really did like it.....I would have just kept my mouth shut.

 

Lol...well, at least you're on the same page. I remember finding it all rather baffling the first time I went to a Catholic service too...which as I recall was on a palm Sunday with a little friend of mine as a child. I thought the palm leaves were pretty cool though.

 

Here's more of me being nosey (tell me when to stop). I saw on your other thread that he has attended church before in another state. Do you know what denomination that was? Maybe you could find something similar nearby.

[mommaduck]

Tammy, I think what you are doing is wonderful. I really hope that you find what you are looking for. I did not take your OP offensively, but rather as sincere honesty. Palm Sunday, in fact Holy Week, can be a really odd time to first attend.

[Pink Fairy]

Tammy, I think what you are doing is wonderful. I really hope that you find what you are looking for. I did not take your OP offensively, but rather as sincere honesty. Palm Sunday, in fact Holy Week, can be a really odd time to first attend.

 

:iagree: I hope you find what you need!

[MariannNOVA]

I think that what you are doing is to be commended and you are to be applauded for doing this out of love.

 

I think that going to a Mass on Palm Sunday can be daunting - as you have discovered - as it is such an atypical day in the Church.

 

I was raised Catholic and I now attend a Presbyterian Church - me, dh, and our three children.

 

When we were 'church-seeking' (and DH is a former Associate Pastor), it was difficult to walk into someplace new on a Sunday - fortunately when we were doing it, the children hadn't been born yet. That being said, when the children had arrived, we based which Presbyterian we visited on their childrens programs.

 

Unless we knew that a place absolutely wasn't for us, we would have a guideline to attend three times prior to making a decision to cross a place off our list (and, no, we didn't really have a list).

 

Perhaps some more website site searching for Churches (whatever denomination) that have active children's programs that your son finds worth looking into.

 

My only word of caution would be that this is a particularly difficult time of year to get an idea of what goes on as it is Easter week -- it would be similar to someone attending Good Friday service at a Catholic Church and vowing never to return again......or attending on a Sunday when the 'homily' time is devoted to the BUDGET!

 

Please Pm me if I can help you out at all with your search -- I've had YEARS of experience -- and I was not at all offended by your post.

 

HTH!

[OnTheBrink]

Tammy, when we moved to this area and were church shopping, we attended one church that was awful. Unwelcoming, cliquey, about as deep as a rain puddle after a 5 minute drizzle.

 

I decided that I didn't have time to waste attending church after church, so I got the yellow pages out, crossed out denoms that were obviously not going to fit, then took the ones that were left and googled them. Those who had websites got my priority, because I could read their statement of faith, mission statements, see what they had to offer. Of those, I picked the one that looked the best on paper. Then, I attended. It took some footwork, but in the end saved me some time and aggravation.

 

If you're wanting a less-formal approach to church, a liturgical church might not be a good fit for you. I'm no expert on all the denominations, but, ime, non-denominational churches seemed to be more relaxed, in general.

 

I hope you find what you're looking for.:001_smile:

[Tammy]

He was going to an Assembly of God church....I think Pentecostal. The problem is....there are none of those close to me....but it might be worth the drive. I remember going to a Methodist church as a young adult....and I really liked that one.

[dirty ethel rackham]

Tammy, FYI - this Sunday is Easter Sunday, so it will not be representative of what a church will be like either. Some will be very welcoming knowing that they are trying to reach the Christmas-Easter churchgoers. Some people will be very focused on their own families and have big celebrations planned at home.

[Tammy]

I have gone online trying to find churches that way....maybe I will have to branch out a little further since I live out in the sticks....per se, LOL!

[Parrothead]

and I wanted you all to know the reason I asked HERE was because you all know much more than I will ever know about denominations and religion in general....

 

I will let you all know what I think of the next church we attend this Sunday.....

 

Thanks again for all your help.....it was very encouraging!

 

.

Where are you going for Easter? Maybe someone who attends that denomination can give you a heads up on what to expect.

[Tammy]

I was thinking of going to a Presbyterian church which is pretty close to my house.... Here is the website....but they do not mention what their services will be for Easter Sunday.... http://www.orgsites.com/fl/palmswestpresbyterianchurch/ I don't think they update their website very often, LOL! What do you think about a Presbyterian church?