Starbucks Cashier Asked Me if DC were my GRANDCHILDREN! I Didn't really care But....

[MariannNOVA]

I'll bet she wanted the floor to open up and swallow her.

 

Granted, I am an 'older' mom - I've not hidden it here......I'm 55. I have grandchildren - who are, though, younger than my own three -- I have two grand-daughters - I think I posted a photo a couple of weeks ago when oldest DD celebrated her 31st birthday.

 

 

All that being said, I actually looked pretty darn good today -- I guess she was trying to make conversation -- I'm in there all the time so she must be one of the few STBX people who don't know that I am the older mom with three children and we homeschool.

 

I thought it was funny and I laughed out loud -- infrequently someone will ask if 'they' are my grandchildren and my reply is always the same: no - I am their mom. I do have two grandchildren, but they are only 6 and 4.

The person usually looks like they want the floor to open up and swallow them.

 

I think that 'are they your grandchildren?' needs to go the way of: 'when are you due?' -- which one should never ask unless the suspiciously pg-looking woman is taking cleansing breaths and getting ready to PUSH!

 

Just thought I'd share!:D

[Mommyfaithe]

This happened to me when I was out with my then 18 yo dd. We were at a photography studio and I told the girl not to make my baby smile, he was naturally very serious and I wanted the pics to reflect that. She turns to him and says "I bet grandma can make you smile!" My poor dd wanted to die of embarassment...I just wanted to punch her out!!! LOL! I was only 37! And I look pretty young to boot...UGH!

 

~Faithe

[Nicole M]

:svengo:

 

How about, "What beautiful children!" Shoot, if people want to talk about children, there are a kazillion ways to do it without being presumptuous about how they little darlings are related to you.

 

I had an odd experience yesterday, which was sort of the opposite of yours. I was talking with a very well-dressed business man, in a professional setting, and when he learned, by chance, that my son is a senior and his college acceptances are just rolling in, his whole affect toward me changed. "You? You have a child about to go to college?" He treated me with more respect after that. It was subtle, but he clearly had thought I was not old enough to have a child that old. People are goofy.

[MariannNOVA]

:w00t: You are a model of restraint! At age 37, I would have made sure the offender was wearing the camera.

[Mrs Mungo]

I always ask women "are these your children?" That way, you are safe. ;)

 

But (sorry!), to be fair, my mom is 56 and my eldest is 14. She was 19 when I was born, I was 23 when my dd was born.

[Lawana]

I'll bet she wanted the floor to open up and swallow her.

 

Granted, I am an 'older' mom - I've not hidden it here......I'm 55. I have grandchildren - who are, though, younger than my own three -- I have two grand-daughters - I think I posted a photo a couple of weeks ago when oldest DD celebrated her 31st birthday.

 

 

All that being said, I actually looked pretty darn good today -- I guess she was trying to make conversation -- I'm in there all the time so she must be one of the few STBX people who don't know that I am the older mom with three children and we homeschool.

 

I thought it was funny and I laughed out loud -- infrequently someone will ask if 'they' are my grandchildren and my reply is always the same: no - I am their mom. I do have two grandchildren, but they are only 6 and 4.

The person usually looks like they want the floor to open up and swallow them.

 

I think that 'are they your grandchildren?' needs to go the way of: 'when are you due?' -- which one should never ask unless the suspiciously pg-looking woman is taking cleansing breaths and getting ready to PUSH!

 

Just thought I'd share!:D

Right there with you (almost). I'm 50, with a 13yo, 10yo, and a 2 1/2yo(step)granddaughter in tow most days. I can just see the cogs turning in people's minds - very young grandmother? very old mother? Especially since the 2yo looks like the 13yo.

The strangest looks came when dh (mid 40's at the time) went out in public with his oldest daughter (19 at the time) and our infant. Dirty old man!

 

And just for the record, a childhood friend of mine, same age as me, does have a grandchild older than my dd13.

[MariannNOVA]

I always ask women "are these your children?" That way, you are safe. ;)

 

But (sorry!), to be fair, my mom is 56 and my eldest is 14. She was 19 when I was born, I was 23 when my dd was born.

 

 

I think that is an excellent question to ask and not embarass anyone -- and, yes, you make an excellent point --there are so many different age permutations and other situations that affect how old one's children are, it can be a bit dicey to assume automatically one way or the other.

 

When my older girls were 5 and 6, the 6 yr old had a little friend from school and the mom and I became friends -- she and her dh had a high school freshman dd - now, we were all 28 and 29 years old -- and until J told me that the dd was her niece whose parents had been killed in an auto accident when the niece was less than a year old - the friend and her dh were the legal guardians and they had adopted her. I know that other moms were picturing J pg at 15 -- truly, it's just an assumption that best left unmade.

 

My mom was 20 when I was born -- times change.:001_smile:

[HRAAB]

We've had this several times. Last time was in Walmart with our twins; we were buying a swing set for them. The cashier said to the girls, "Aren't you lucky grandma and grandpa so spoil you so." Truthfully, many people our age are grandparents. We chose to wait until later to start our family, and I guess this goes with it. Dh is 51 and I'll be 50 this year.

[MariannNOVA]

:svengo:

 

How about, "What beautiful children!" Shoot, if people want to talk about children, there are a kazillion ways to do it without being presumptuous about how they little darlings are related to you.

 

I had an odd experience yesterday, which was sort of the opposite of yours. I was talking with a very well-dressed business man, in a professional setting, and when he learned, by chance, that my son is a senior and his college acceptances are just rolling in, his whole affect toward me changed. "You? You have a child about to go to college?" He treated me with more respect after that. It was subtle, but he clearly had thought I was not old enough to have a child that old. People are goofy.

 

Are you trying to make me feel better?:smilielol5: I'm kidding -- yes, many moons ago I did have those experiences, and I know I am past them -- I agree -- people can be goofy. A better question from the STBX person might have been: 'So, do you really like those White Chocolate Mochas?';)

[Pamela H in Texas]

If I thought someone was a set of children's grandmother and was nosey (I'm too shy to be this nosey generally), I would ask, "oh, are those your children?" Then I'd be complimenting, not offending :)

 

My mom is asked whether my teens are hers, but she's only 53. We were both very young when we had children (good thing too as neither of us managed to have children at the normal ages or later). It probably also helps that we're very young looking (no one would guess I could have a 17yr old or even a 14yr old).

 

Anyway, I do think people should be wiser about being so nosey.

[Crimson Wife]

People can be such idiots. I get mistaken for the nanny all the time, even though my oldest looks just like me.

 

When my mom, my oldest, and I go out together, people often think I'm the big sis. And neither my mom nor I were super-young when we had kids (she had me at 23 and I had DD at 25).

[Nicole M]

Are you trying to make me feel better?:smilielol5: I'm kidding -- yes, many moons ago I did have those experiences, and I know I am past them -- I agree -- people can be goofy. A better question from the STBX person might have been: 'So, do you really like those White Chocolate Mochas?';)

 

I'm sorry! I just meant that people make dumb assumptions all the time. I am 43, have gray hair, and don't look as hot as you do (if I'm remembering correctly -- I think I've seen a picture of you :D). I'm sure I look old enough to be that kid's mom, and darnit! I should not have to earn the respect of a colleague no matter how old I am!

 

Yes. That would have been a much better question. How 'bout them White Chocolate Mochas!?

[mommaduck]

Worse when your stepdad gets mistaken for YOUR husband and your mother, his wife, gets mistaken as HIS mother-in-law! Let me tell you, the rest of that trip was a trip.

[Jean in Newcastle]

My ds is almost 13. I got asked something the other day about my grandson. One look at my face had them back-peddling.

 

In my case I think it is partly because I do not hide my gray. What is really weird is when people see my eldest sister (12 years older than me but colors her hair), my middle sister (9 years older than me but colors her hair) and me (quite a bit of gray but much younger face). They're not quite sure how to peg us. . .

[MariannNOVA]

I'm sorry! I just meant that people make dumb assumptions all the time. I am 43, have gray hair, and don't look as hot as you do (if I'm remembering correctly -- I think I've seen a picture of you :D). I'm sure I look old enough to be that kid's mom, and darnit! I should not have to earn the respect of a colleague no matter how old I am!

 

Yes. That would have been a much better question. How 'bout them White Chocolate Mochas!?

 

Oh, Nicole: I was joking -- no need to apologize! And, I agree with the assumptions folks make -- and thank you so much for your kind words -- and yes, you are remembering correctly - I'm hot! :lol: I'm joking! But, that is such a nice thing to say.

FWIW, dh is 11 yrs younger than me and I make a conscious effort (some days more of an effort than others) to 'maintain.'

And, exactly: how 'bout some marketing STBX: 'would you like a Mallorca Sweet Bread to go with that Mocha?' Sheesh!

[BikeBookBread]

This used to happen to my Mom often. I now have quite a bit of grey coming in. I'm just waiting for the day. :glare:

[StartingOver]

I think that 'are they your grandchildren?' needs to go the way of: 'when are you due?' -- which one should never ask unless the suspiciously pg-looking woman is taking cleansing breaths and getting ready to PUSH!

 

Just thought I'd share!:D

 

:iagree:

 

I am 41 and my husband is 51. We get this all the time !! Especially when we are out with the kids and the grandbabies. I have to tell them all the time, NO these 5 are mine, and those ( however many - up to 8 ) are my grandbabies !!

 

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

I was mortified the first time it happened ! Now I think I am used to it. Sometimes I still wanna smack them though !

[jonesloonybin]

I always looked much younger than my age and when I was pg with dd #1 (I was 18/19) I went to the store with my dad and we had some people stop us and ask me if I was ok. I was confused at first and said "I am fine, thanks." Then when we were walking away they started talking about how disgusting it was to see that old pervert with a pregnant preteen!! They thought I was 12!! I tried to explain to them, but they just nodded their head sympathetically. lol. My dad was so offended that he went to wait in the car.

[MariannNOVA]

Right there with you (almost). I'm 50, with a 13yo, 10yo, and a 2 1/2yo(step)granddaughter in tow most days. I can just see the cogs turning in people's minds - very young grandmother? very old mother? Especially since the 2yo looks like the 13yo.

The strangest looks came when dh (mid 40's at the time) went out in public with his oldest daughter (19 at the time) and our infant. Dirty old man!

 

And just for the record, a childhood friend of mine, same age as me, does have a grandchild older than my dd13.

 

My parents are only 52 yo and the last time they took the 4 grand daughters out they were told what polite dd's they had.

 

I laughed at my dad and told him that that is what he gets for starting a family at 19 yo.

 

We've had this several times. Last time was in Walmart with our twins; we were buying a swing set for them. The cashier said to the girls, "Aren't you lucky grandma and grandpa so spoil you so." Truthfully, many people our age are grandparents. We chose to wait until later to start our family, and I guess this goes with it. Dh is 51 and I'll be 50 this year.

 

If I thought someone was a set of children's grandmother and was nosey (I'm too shy to be this nosey generally), I would ask, "oh, are those your children?" Then I'd be complimenting, not offending :)

 

My mom is asked whether my teens are hers, but she's only 53. We were both very young when we had children (good thing too as neither of us managed to have children at the normal ages or later). It probably also helps that we're very young looking (no one would guess I could have a 17yr old or even a 14yr old).

 

Anyway, I do think people should be wiser about being so nosey.

 

People can be such idiots. I get mistaken for the nanny all the time, even though my oldest looks just like me.

 

When my mom, my oldest, and I go out together, people often think I'm the big sis. And neither my mom nor I were super-young when we had kids (she had me at 23 and I had DD at 25).

 

Worse when your stepdad gets mistaken for YOUR husband and your mother, his wife, gets mistaken as HIS mother-in-law! Let me tell you, the rest of that trip was a trip.

 

My ds is almost 13. I got asked something the other day about my grandson. One look at my face had them back-peddling.

 

In my case I think it is partly because I do not hide my gray. What is really weird is when people see my eldest sister (12 years older than me but colors her hair), my middle sister (9 years older than me but colors her hair) and me (quite a bit of gray but much younger face). They're not quite sure how to peg us. . .

 

This used to happen to my Mom often. I now have quite a bit of grey coming in. I'm just waiting for the day. :glare:

 

 

I KNEW I wasn't alone in this -- I know that last summer when DD(then 30) visited with the grand-daughters and we all went to the museums in DC - five children under the age of 10 and dd and her dh and me -- folks were quite confused. Especially with my oldest calling me mom, my three calling me mom, calling big sister by her first name and the grand-daughters calling my three Aunt and Uncle. :001_huh:

[StartingOver]

OMG 37 !! LMAOOO When my youngest son was born I was just 37. I took the oldest two and him in to get pictures. The photographer looked straight at me and said, " You must be so proud of your new grandson. " Both my older kids started sputtering, actually cackling ! Finally my daughter caughter her breath and said, " Mom knock her out, I am not married to my brother !!!! " My son was beet red for hours after. I still remind them of it constantly hehehe.

 

ETA : The kids sat back to back for the photos hehehe.

Edited March 25, 2010 by alatexan68
ETA Picture

[NoPlaceLikeHome]

I am sure people think this of me since I am almost 50:tongue_smilie: In fact, I am somewhat afraid that some will think I am the mom to my dh seeing as I am a little bit older:001_huh::svengo:

[nevergiveup]

I got the senior citizen discount at a grocery store, without being asked, when I was 44. On the one hand I was incensed. On the other hand, I saved a couple of bucks so that made up for it.

[Laurie4b]

I've had someone at a thrift shop try to be "tactful" and ask whether I would be wanting the senior discount today....

 

"No, I just don't color my hair."

 

Then there was my poor co-worker who, a few months after my wedding said, "You're gaining so much weight so fast....are you pregnant?"

 

"No."

 

I mean when you put all your cards on the table like that, you can't recover and say, "Oh gosh. It must be the style of the dress!"

Edited March 25, 2010 by Laurie4b

[Nicole M]

 

Then there was my poor co-worker who, a few months after my wedding said, "You're gaining so much weight so fast....are you pregnant?"

 

"No."

 

I mean when you put all your cards on the table like that, you can't recover and say, "Oh gosh. It must be the style of the dress!"

 

See. I would have blurted out something like, "Well, we are newlyweds. All that crazy-wild s*x we're having makes a girl hungry!"

[MaMa2005]

Oh, I hear that at least once a week. And yes, I am older with a 4 year old. And I have older children (38 and 32) and three grandchildren (16 years, 14 years, 7 months). And I meet the remarks with laughter and the comment that we needed something to occupy our retirement years and keep us young.

 

My poor DH really gets it when out alone with DS. DH has a head of gray hair and a gray beard and people just automatically think he is the grandfather. On top of that, DS calls his dad 'BaBa' (Chinese for dad) and most people think it is a grandfather name.

 

However, we are having the time of our lives with our little caboose and wouldn't trade it for the world!:001_smile:

[Tangerine]

My dad was 43 when I was born. People always thought he was my grandpa.

[Mrs Mungo]

My dad was 43 when I was born. People always thought he was my grandpa.

 

My MIL's father was *seventy* when she was born!

[Parrothead]

I had one of those last year. I was 42 at the time with a 9-year old dd.

[Granny_Weatherwax]

[mommaduck]

When I worked at restaurants, this was always a difficult situation. You had ppl that got upset if you asked them if they qualified for a senior discount and those that got upset if you didn't automatically KNOW that they should get a senior discount. It was a no win situation.

[MariannNOVA]

I always looked much younger than my age and when I was pg with dd #1 (I was 18/19) I went to the store with my dad and we had some people stop us and ask me if I was ok. I was confused at first and said "I am fine, thanks." Then when we were walking away they started talking about how disgusting it was to see that old pervert with a pregnant preteen!! They thought I was 12!! I tried to explain to them, but they just nodded their head sympathetically. lol. My dad was so offended that he went to wait in the car.

 

:w00t:

OMH -- your poor dad!

[Granny_Weatherwax]

See. I would have blurted out something like, "Well, we are newlyweds. All that crazy-wild s*x we're having makes a girl hungry!"

Not at her age!! Things like that don't happen past 40! Right?? Right??

[MariannNOVA]

OMG 37 !! LMAOOO When my youngest son was born I was just 37. I took the oldest two and him in to get pictures. The photographer looked straight at me and said, " You must be so proud of your new grandson. " Both my older kids started sputtering, actually cackling ! Finally my daughter caughter her breath and said, " Mom knock her out, I am not married to my brother !!!! " My son was beet red for hours after. I still remind them of it constantly hehehe.

 

ETA : The kids sat back to back for the photos hehehe.

 

Thank you for this story -- I love it! Just shows that folks should not make assumptions.

[CAMom]

A couple of years ago someone asked me if my sister was my daughter!:glare:

 

I'm only 4 years older than her and she's a recovering meth junkie who was still in the middle of addiction at that time. She looked old and strung out. I was not happy!:glare:

[MariannNOVA]

See. I would have blurted out something like, "Well, we are newlyweds. All that crazy-wild s*x we're having makes a girl hungry!"

 

 

:rofl: Great comeback!:D

[MariannNOVA]

 

Yes, that's right. Not.one.word.:toetap05:

[MariannNOVA]

Not at her age!! Things like that don't happen past 40! Right?? Right??

 

Look me in the eyes and ask me that!;)

[EthiopianFood]

 

I think that 'are they your grandchildren?' needs to go the way of: 'when are you due?' -- which one should never ask unless the suspiciously pg-looking woman is taking cleansing breaths and getting ready to PUSH!

 

I fall into the "suspiciously pregnant-looking" category. I decided I would just lie and say I was pregnant if anyone asked. I didn't plan for the first person to ask to be someone I would have to see again. :glare: :tongue_smilie:

 

Oh, and if you catch me right after going up a flight of stairs, you might think I WAS in labor, so your advice doesn't really help. :lol::lol:

[MariannNOVA]

I fall into the "suspiciously pregnant-looking" category. I decided I would just lie and say I was pregnant if anyone asked. I didn't plan for the first person to ask to be someone I would have to see again. :glare: :tongue_smilie:

 

Oh, and if you catch me right after going up a flight of stairs, you might think I WAS in labor, so your advice doesn't really help. :lol::lol:

 

:lol::lol::lol:

Years ago --and I mean years ago -- maybe 25 years ago, my mom's sister passed away and the post-funeral gathering was at my home. It was a really nice house, and 'cousins' and people who had never been there were taking the 'tour.' One of my cousins came down the stairs and headed to the diing room for a drink - she was WHITE. I asked what happened. She said: We were coming out of your youngest's room and Christine said that she loved how you had decorated the room. Aunt Gail said: 'Well, if you have a little girl, you should do her room the same way. When are you due?' Christine answered, 'I'm not pregnant.'

 

Since then, I NEVER assume a pregnancy - there would have to be a foot sticking out for me to assume a pregnancy.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I fall into the "suspiciously pregnant-looking" category. I decided I would just lie and say I was pregnant if anyone asked. I didn't plan for the first person to ask to be someone I would have to see again. :glare: :tongue_smilie:

 

Oh, and if you catch me right after going up a flight of stairs, you might think I WAS in labor, so your advice doesn't really help. :lol::lol:

 

Yea, me too. A man asked me when I was due in the grocery store (my "baby" was walking beside me pushing the cart). I looked him in the eye and said "I'm about to pop any minute." I think he fled the store.

[MariannNOVA]

Yea, me too. A man asked me when I was due in the grocery store (my "baby" was walking beside me pushing the cart). I looked him in the eye and said "I'm about to pop any minute." I think he fled the store.

 

:lol::lol:

[AndyJoy]

When I was visiting my parents last month the Walmart greeter said to my dad, "Oh, your granddaughter is visiting!" He was a bit miffed as he is 55 and I'm 28. Being the sweet daughter that I am, I told him, "Don't worry Dad, you don't really look THAT old. I just look young." :D He raised me with near-constant teasing, so a joking comment was required. I am often mistaken for 20. Since I don't plan to color my future gray hair, I suspect I will "age" rapidly at some point.

[MariannNOVA]

When I was visiting my parents last month the Walmart greeter said to my dad, "Oh, your granddaughter is visiting!" He was a bit miffed as he is 55 and I'm 28. Being the sweet daughter that I am, I told him, "Don't worry Dad, you don't really look THAT old. I just look young." :D He raised me with near-constant teasing, so a joking comment was required. I am often mistaken for 20. Since I don't plan to color my future gray hair, I suspect I will "age" rapidly at some point.

 

 

Yes, unfortunately, 'aging rapidly' does happen to all of us.:D

[missmoe]

My dm was 47 when my youngest brother was born. I was a "mature" looking 12 year-old. Well you can guess where this is going. Growing up, it was always assumed I was the unwed mom and she was the grandma. :tongue_smilie: Now that I have my own--everyone thought I was the nanny for the first few years--until I had some that looked like me! It's just better to go through life making NO assumptions!

[cathmom]

:svengo:

 

I had an odd experience yesterday, which was sort of the opposite of yours. I was talking with a very well-dressed business man, in a professional setting, and when he learned, by chance, that my son is a senior and his college acceptances are just rolling in, his whole affect toward me changed. "You? You have a child about to go to college?" He treated me with more respect after that. It was subtle, but he clearly had thought I was not old enough to have a child that old. People are goofy.

 

I've had that reaction. And recently at church, someone visiting asked if my daughters were my sisters. I think she may have failing eyesight! :lol:

[OnTheBrink]

My dad looks young and when I was around 20ish, people would assume I was his wife. It totally freaked me out at that age. He still looks a lot younger than 67. And, I, at 43, can still get carded. Despite the gray hair coming in, people are shocked I have a 22 year old.

 

I have good genes, I guess.

[Wheres Toto]

This happens to my DH all the time. He's 53 and has white hair (which he's had since his 20's so....). He doesn't take it too badly since he knows he's older than what is usual, in fact his younger brother actually has an 18 year old grandchild. He does correct people and let them know he's the dad.

 

I NEVER assume about people I see with children. There are a lot of older moms, there are a lot of younger moms - I've seen people insulted when others think their children are actually their siblings. My oldest had someone refer to her younger brother as her child - when she was 14 and he was 2!!

 

I've had people comment that I must have had my youngest when I was a teenager. Actually I was 24 but I've always looked somewhat younger than I am (kept getting carded until I was 35). I just shrug it off but I must admit, its actually kind of flattering lately. :tongue_smilie:

[TravelingChris]

My mom was 43 when she had me and 46 when she had my sister. We got this a lot. But my mom died when she was 65 and I had my children at 26, 30, and 33. I didn't think it was a good idea to have children so late. I really regret not having my parents see any of my children. My mom died when I was 23 and my dad when I was 13. I make no comments like this to anyone.

[Wheres Toto]

I'm laughing at all the experiences we've had. I've also avoided ever assuming that someone is pregnant unless it is very obvious (9 months along with a firm belly pointing out front with a t-shirt saying "Baby on Board"). We were visiting another state a couple of years ago and arranged to meet some of my cousins, who I see VERY rarely while we were there. We met my one cousin at a restaurant for dinner. She arrived looking pregnant but was wearing a very loose (maternity style) blouse so it was hard to tell for sure. So, I said nothing and acted like I didn't notice anything. (she was single, divorced from her ex-husband). Two years later we were invited to a party for her father (my uncle) and when we got there - she had a son. In this case I feel kind of bad - does she feel like I ignored her pregnancy because I disapproved? she might have been able to use someone sympathetic to talk to you (we are close in age and I had also been divorced). We did end up talking a lot when we saw her at the party, even stayed at her house and ended up having a great time so I hope that made up for any slight she felt previously.

[PiCO]

I have an employee who has been working for me since she was 15. She's now 28, married, and has a baby. I've known her so long, and seen her grow up, and I feel like a second mom to her.

 

Anyway, we were at a mutual friend's birthday party, and I was holding the baby. Someone at the party assumed I was the grandma- meaning I was mom to the 28-yo! I'm 47, so I guess that's possible.

 

I about choked, because I have a 16 yo dd. When someone calls me grandma I have visions of her pregnant. :glare: