does it bother you when

[EthiopianFood]

people give advice in a post for which they have little to no personal experience? I've been researching homeschooling, curriculum, etc. for awhile now. I have a very small bit of experience with my (very young) dd, as well as with my niece (more real life stuff than hs). Because of these things, sometimes I feel I have good advice for a poster. But the fact is, I don't have much personal experience with many educational topics. I would never claim to know The Answer, as I know my opinion is just one of many. Is it inappropriate for me to post my opinion? I guess I just don't want to be the equivalent of the person with no children giving out parenting advice. :tongue_smilie:

[RanchGirl]

It wouldn't bother me as long as you were up front about your actual experience level with the thing you are discussing. As in mentioning that you hadn't tried something, but you've done some research and XYZ looks interesting because....

[Rosie_0801]

I don't let it stop me :D

 

If people want to ignore us, they will. I, personally, get annoyed at the misconception that people without children know nothing about them. If you want to say something, say it! If someone wants to get annoyed by what you say, it's hardly your fault.

 

*shrug*

Rosie

[EthiopianFood]

I don't let it stop me :D

 

If people want to ignore us, they will. I, personally, get annoyed at the misconception that people without children know nothing about them. If you want to say something, say it! If someone wants to get annoyed by what you say, it's hardly your fault.

 

*shrug*

Rosie

 

You don't have kids? How did I miss that... :tongue_smilie:

[Rosie_0801]

Lol! I have them now! I used to find it insulting when my 5 years as a guide leader was discounted as experience with children, because I didn't actually produce them myself. After 17 years in guides, I'd have to pick up a few things, wouldn't I?

 

:)

Rosie

[fivetails]

I don't let it stop me :D

 

If people want to ignore us, they will. I, personally, get annoyed at the misconception that people without children know nothing about them. If you want to say something, say it! If someone wants to get annoyed by what you say, it's hardly your fault.

 

*shrug*

Rosie

 

:iagree:

 

It's the same thing with the notion that someone with young kids couldn't possibly have any suggestions that might help someone who's asked a question about teenagers/older kids/etc. Just because someone hasn't "been there, done that" doesn't mean that they can't have some creative/helpful/etc ideas.

[Carrie12345]

I feel as though I'm almost always posting with limited experience, which is strange when I consider how many times I actually erase before posting, lol. I try to make my experience level (or lack thereof) clear in my posts so the reader can decide how to weigh what I'm saying.

 

I like to get input from a wide variety of people. "Experts" are not always perfect, and novices sometimes have interesting and useful perspectives, or give me something new to think about.

[phathui5]

Of course, you've been a child, so you have some experience.

[Pamela H in Texas]

RaeAnn, don't worry. They will listen or not as they feel your opinion is relevant. Most of the time, "they" won't listen to those with a great deal of experience either.

[lionfamily1999]

:iagree:

 

It's the same thing with the notion that someone with young kids couldn't possibly have any suggestions that might help someone who's asked a question about teenagers/older kids/etc. Just because someone hasn't "been there, done that" doesn't mean that they can't have some creative/helpful/etc ideas.

I was going to say the same thing as pathui....

Of course, you've been a child, so you have some experience.

 

If you're good at research (or are a curriculum junky, even if you haven't BOUGHT the stuff yet), chime in! Sometimes you'll have the perfect answer and the person needing the info. is not going to care if you only researched it or actually wrote and developed it ;)

 

There is a whole field for researchers and most people in the research field have only been effected second hand by what they're researching. Your a researcher, please please please, let the rest of us profit from your abilities :)

[Orthodox6]

There is a "flip side" -- the people with ample, documentable experience who, nonetheless, are ignored as having nothing worth hearing.

[Christy B]

I think as long as you offer "information" instead of "advice", it should be perfectly fine and much appreciated! There have been many times when it's been one little tidbit of information that made everything click into place for me; I would hate to think that someone would have hesitated to share information simply because of lack of personal experience.

 

What irritates me is when people offer advice without reading my post . . . for example, if I mention my dd will do "Biology with lab" and someone jumps in and says "well, she's going to need lab". :confused: So just be sure your information really applies to the op. ;) Or ask for clarification.

 

Hey, I've been homeschooling for nine years, and sometimes my head gets so muddled -- I appreciate any objective and useful information. One of my best IRL homeschooling mentors has children younger than mine; she also has a logical brain and a wealth of information, and the ability to help me focus. (My dh says that anyone who can help me focus possesses a special skill set and could probably make a fortune in the private sector. Can't imagine what he means by that. :tongue_smilie:)

[MIch elle]

That's why it helps when people list their dc ages & curricula they use!

 

I also HATE when people answer a post that is the opposite of what was asked!!

 

i.e. OP "Tell me all the reasons you like Saxon math" answer " Saxon math is horrible for these reasons... " THAT'S NOT WHAT WAS ASKED - SAY OUT OF IT!! :rant:

[Tap]

It doesn't bother me a bit. Just because someone has experience, doesn't mean that they have valuable insight for the OP. For example: I tried and didn't like the "Trail Guides to xxx" series. I bought everything I needed and found it a quick way to loose a bunch of time during the day. So, we tried it for 2 weeks, and dumped it. I can give my experience as such, but honestly I only used a couple of lessons. That isn't much real 'experience' with the curriculum.

 

People's personalities also plays such a huge part in how they feel about a curriculum. I have a friend whose teacher personality is Vastly different from mine. She likes to use a curriculum in its entirety. She starts at the beginning and does it all. She likes daily schedules, procedure and documentation. I on the other hand, customize almost everything I buy. Using bits and pieces, editing, chopping and crossing out is my joy. I rarely document and find that dd does best learning in large chunks instead of little bits. We educate at will, and spend 1/2 our day on a subject, and then not touch it for a week. We just go with the flow..... But Believe it or not, we often use the same curriculum. Her experience with the curriculum is usually Much, much different from mine. I have another friend who I would expect to use very similar choices as she and I educate very similar...but we rarely do the same, in fact I would say rarely do we use the same materials. We have loaned back and forth, and hardly ever like the same materials. :lol:

 

I typed all this to say, that just because a person feels that the responders personality or style of teaching is similar, and that they will have similar focus using the material....doesn't usually pan out in my experience.

 

I like posts that say "I haven't used xyz but have read ...." That gives a disclaimer, and still allows you to be heard.

 

I research the crud out of materials before I buy. I can usually give a pretty good review on most curriculum even if I haven't used it, just because I have read so many other people's reviews on it. :0) It is kind of like the star rating system on websites. You don't have to read all the reviews if something has a 2 star rating. The general consensus is more valuable than one detailed review sometimes, as long as you know what you are looking at.

[Snickerdoodle]

Nothing really bothers me about any thread and I don't take anything here personal. I realize this is a public forum and whether I take any advice from here, the responsibility of that decision is solely my own.

 

For all I know, you all are a bunch of cantankerous old men in your undies making it all up as you go along. ;) And I proceed as if it were true.

 

 

Take it all with a grain of salt. That's my motto.

 

:D

[Pajama Mama]

If you mention how you have experience/knowledge on a subject, I don't see why there would be a problem. If you worked with kids or were the oldest of 5 kids; then you do have experience. Of course, the experience will be different than with your own kids but it's still experience.

 

OTOH-If you've lived under a rock until today and have never encountered kids before; then perhaps you shouldn't comment:D

[OnTheBrink]

people give advice in a post for which they have little to no personal experience? I've been researching homeschooling, curriculum, etc. for awhile now. I have a very small bit of experience with my (very young) dd, as well as with my niece (more real life stuff than hs). Because of these things, sometimes I feel I have good advice for a poster. But the fact is, I don't have much personal experience with many educational topics. I would never claim to know The Answer, as I know my opinion is just one of many. Is it inappropriate for me to post my opinion? I guess I just don't want to be the equivalent of the person with no children giving out parenting advice. :tongue_smilie:

 

You're not the equivalent of a childless "parent." You're researching, you're starting out; you have more experience than someone who hasn't gone that far yet.

 

And, NO ONE has The Answer. Even the most experienced homeschooler doesn't have The Answer for everything homeschooling. :001_smile:

[LG Gone Wild]

Of course, you've been a child, so you have some experience.

 

LOL! Touche and too true.

[MIch elle]

You know, I read a few times here that some people are bothered by the fact some people list their curriculum. LOL

 

:lol: Why did they say it bothered them?

[Rosie_0801]

For all I know, you all are a bunch of cantankerous old men in your undies making it all up as you go along. ;) And I proceed as if it were true.

 

 

OMG! I laughed so much my eyes watered!

 

:smilielol5:

Rosie

[buddhabelly]

OMG! I laughed so much my eyes watered!

 

:smilielol5:

Rosie

 

Well, maybe you're right (about the old men in their underwear), but if that's true I picture Rosie's underwear being hand-quilted out of some really beautiful, rare material.....:lol:

[Jill- OK]

...I will admit that I take it with a grain of salt when someone offers advice and has only one small child.

 

(Don't be mad, lol!)

 

I mean, yes, everyone has a point of view, and just because you don't have experience doesn't mean that you don't have wisdom to share. I think that's a given.

 

But having several children and many years of homeschooling under your belt counts for something completely different. I'm more likely to perk up my ears when someone with *more* kids than me, who has been homeschooling for *longer* pipes up. It's the same with general parenting; I tend to pay attention to those who have *grown* children, not just teenagers.

 

One of the reasons I tend to do this is because I like to hear about mistakes that folks have made. If you haven't had the chance to make any mistakes, then you don't have any to share, KWIM?

 

ETA: I agree with the poster who mentioned the helpfulness of having general ages of kids listed in signature lines, and this is one reason why. I don't really find all the curricula helpful, because I think that's relative to the children you're teaching, but I do like to have a ballpark figure for the number/ages of children the poster has. I put mine in after someone else mentioned this, some time ago!

[Moni]

does it bother you when people give advice in a post for which they have little to no personal experience

 

No.

;)

:seeya:

[Rosie_0801]

Well, maybe you're right (about the old men in their underwear), but if that's true I picture Rosie's underwear being hand-quilted out of some really beautiful, rare material.....:lol:

 

 

:001_huh:

 

 

If I ever make some, I'll be sure to post the pic! :lol:

 

Rosie- wondering what kind of reputation she's growing here...

[EthiopianFood]

But having several children and many years of homeschooling under your belt counts for something completely different. I'm more likely to perk up my ears when someone with *more* kids than me, who has been homeschooling for *longer* pipes up.

 

This is probably just my personality type and how I process information, but I think if anything I (or whomever) said could benefit you, you would just seem to fit with your situation. If you don't sense that fit, then why would you pay much attention? It's certainly nothing personal.

 

Thank you everyone for your comments. :) I love this board so much I love that I've found parents who value education and being educated. It feels so good to learn from everyone else's experiences BEFORE I start (well, I've already started, but not the formal stuff ;) ). I have some subjects planned through high school! :lol: Who knows how much of it will work with my particular dd, but I have a place to start, you know? :D

[Truscifi]

For all I know, you all are a bunch of cantankerous old men in your undies making it all up as you go along. ;)

 

:lol::lol::lol:

 

I never thought of that!!!

[Lovedtodeath]

I research the crud out of materials before I buy. I can usually give a pretty good review on most curriculum even if I haven't used it, just because I have read so many other people's reviews on it. :0) It is kind of like the star rating system on websites. You don't have to read all the reviews if something has a 2 star rating. The general consensus is more valuable than one detailed review sometimes, as long as you know what you are looking at.

:iagree:

 

:lol: Why did they say it bothered them?

Because sometimes there is so much (and very often more than what TWTM recommends) that it can make one feel inadequate when reading it.

[Lovedtodeath]

For all I know, you all are a bunch of cantankerous old men in your undies making it all up as you go along. ;) And I proceed as if it were true.

 

LOL! You know I could just add a few kids to my sig to make my advice look better. :lol:

[gardening momma]

Of course, you've been a child, so you have some experience.

That's what I was going to say. I've been a child/teenager/young adult, so I can speak from that experience. And, as Rosie said, I've worked with children who were not my own, so I have that experience too.

[Stacie]

I don't mind a lack of personal experience as long as it's stated as such. When looking for advice, I do exactly that...I look for advice. I'm not asking for a decision, just input. I also factor the experience (as much as I know about the person) of the one offering the advice. *making a note to self to add in my kiddo info into a signature one of these days*

 

What I do dislike is when someone asks for opinions on a topic, and get what I call a "snort" post. It usually goes something like this: Q: Do you think TV program X is appropriate for a 10 year old? A: *snort* I don't allow my children to watch the mind-numbing idiot box at all and they are just brilliant. OR Q: I have a pound of hamburger for dinner and could use a good recipe for it. A: *snort* I don't eat meat because of the beef industry's increasing focus on imported meat and the detrimental effect it's having on our domestic beef. ;) Okay, these aren't actual quotes, but I'm sure many of you have scratched your head like me at some of the responses people get when honestly asking for opinions or advice. :001_huh:

 

I guess I really don't mind information, as long as it comes with relevence. I can sift through it on my own. ;)

[Mrs Mungo]

I've seen some posts (not just mine) where it bothered me. For example, I've seen posts that specifically say "if you don't have a child with ADD, please don't post," and yet someone insists on posting saying "I don't know why you allow that sort of behavior, I would never allow that." They clearly have no understanding. Same with asking advice for dealing with teens, etc. I think if someone clearly states they are looking for BTDT help then you should respect that. Otherwise, no, it doesn't bother me.

[Lovedtodeath]

 

I've seen some posts (not just mine) where it bothered me. For example, I've seen posts that specifically say "if you don't have a child with ADD, please don't post," and yet someone insists on posting saying "I don't know why you allow that sort of behavior, I would never allow that." They clearly have no understanding. Same with asking advice for dealing with teens, etc. I think if someone clearly states they are looking for BTDT help then you should respect that. Otherwise, no, it doesn't bother me.

Good points.

[mommyrooch]

RaeAnn, don't worry. They will listen or not as they feel your opinion is relevant. Most of the time, "they" won't listen to those with a great deal of experience either.

 

:iagree:

[mommyrooch]

Nothing really bothers me about any thread and I don't take anything here personal. I realize this is a public forum and whether I take any advice from here, the responsibility of that decision is solely my own.

 

For all I know, you all are a bunch of cantankerous old men in your undies making it all up as you go along. ;) And I proceed as if it were true.

 

 

Take it all with a grain of salt. That's my motto.

 

:D

 

You mean their not! :001_huh: I am so going to have to re-think the way I have been approaching things. :tongue_smilie:

 

Okay, just kidding... and :iagree:

[mommyrooch]

:001_huh:

 

 

If I ever make some, I'll be sure to post the pic! :lol:

 

Rosie- wondering what kind of reputation she's growing here...

 

Okay, you guys have got me cracking up. :smilielol5: I really needed this laugh today. :D

[Jumping In Puddles]

I don't let it stop me :D

 

If people want to ignore us, they will. I, personally, get annoyed at the misconception that people without children know nothing about them. If you want to say something, say it! If someone wants to get annoyed by what you say, it's hardly your fault.

 

*shrug*

Rosie

 

The only thing is... sometimes something sounds so great in theory and of course, you've read all the reviews but there is NOTHING that beats the hands on experience.

 

For example, when some people have asked for science recommendations, I have seen you recommend BFSU (sight unseen right?). I would have also... Until I tried to use it! I even read the book cover to cover and could.not.implement it!

 

Same for OPG. I thought this was brilliant. I called my friend and told her this is waaay better than 100EZ and to try it!! :001_huh: um, yeah, my ds cried and sobbed when ever he looked at the book. I would never have known that without experience!

 

But, if I research something and it seems to have all the points that someone else is researching - I may throw it out there that I'm looking at that but have never used it. I learned my lesson. :tongue_smilie:

Edited September 18, 2009 by Jumping In Puddles

[Lovedtodeath]

I use OPG as a teacher's guide, not a book for the child. ;)

 

But good points, Jumping.

[Rosie_0801]

The only thing is... sometimes something sounds so great in theory and of course, you've read all the reviews but there is NOTHING that beats the hands on experience.

 

For example, when some people have asked for science recommendations, I have seen you recommend BFSU (sight unseen right?). I would have also... Until I tried to use it! I even read the book cover to cover and could.not.implement it!

 

 

Oh sure, but if no one else has mentioned it, I might as well. If the OP hasn't heard of it, it gives them something else to look into. If they think it sounds interesting, they'll ask specific questions. There's plenty of threads by people who have used it, and who have both positive and negative things to say. I'm not promising that BFSU will solve all of anyone's science woes, I'm merely suggesting they look at it if they haven't already. Besides, anything I might have to say about it would only be another review of equal value to the rest of the online reviews, and they range from being a complete pain in the butt as per your experience, to being the best thing since chocolate brownies for others. I don't see why suggestions must come only from people who've used the product, because anyone who is going to purchase is going to go and read all the available reviews regardless. Maybe you have a different perspective, in the US, because you can go to curriculum fairs and see things first hand, whereas the rest of us have to research everything to death then cross our fingers and hope it works! Now, if someone posts asking for personal recommendations, I'll make it quite clear that I haven't used it and can only point them towards other reviews and the yahoo group.

 

Perhaps I should go and order the book right now. Do you think dh would accept "Jumping in Puddles will feel better if I read the book" as an excuse? :lol:

 

Rosie

[Impish]

Honestly, there have been times that it bothers me irl.

 

Being told how to put a baby (nursing at that) on a schedule from someone that's never had a baby. That bugged me, especially as it was Tazzie, my THIRD child.

 

The other big one was Wolf taking marital advice from his elder sister when we were first married. I finally snapped and told him that if he was going to get marital advice, go to someone that HAS a successful marriage, not someone that's been divorced 2 or 3 times, and has absolutely no problem having multiple affairs :glare:

 

On the forums, its just as easy to take the info offered as ignore it, and ymmv regardless of the issue at hand, so its always worth a look when someone suggests something you haven't heard of/tried, unless its completely opposed to your morals, ethics, etc. To me, anyways.

[iluvmy4blessings]

I will admit that I don't take advice about raising children from people who have no children. I used to think I knew a lot before I had my kids. Babysitting them, teaching them, reading about them is completely different from actually parenting them. So I might be wrong in this, but I basically don't listen to any advice given on parenting from people who are not parents. This doesn't mean I don't pay attention to child development research and educational theory etc. which may be written about from those who research but are not parents. I'm talking about the nitty gritty day to day parenting life.

 

Aside from that I'm all ears!

[Jumping In Puddles]

Perhaps I should go and order the book right now. Do you think dh would accept "Jumping in Puddles will feel better if I read the book" as an excuse? :lol:

 

Rosie

 

You should definitely order the book right now and feel free to use me as an excuse :D But I won't feel better until you have actually implemented it, LOL! :tongue_smilie::tongue_smilie:

[stripe]

I don't have too many childless people daring to offer me child-rearing advice. I am, however, deeply touched when someone cares enough to ask for my advice, especially in person. People seem to get offended on here often enough or disagree when someone has been there/done that or has used that curriculum, so why add to your stress level? Just throw out what seems irrelevant to you.