How should teachers respond to immodest clothing?

[msjones]

I wonder what all you gals think about this -- especially those of you who have teen daughters.

 

Is it best for a male teacher/coach to just ignore it if a girl who is 'falling out' of her top, or to point it out so she can make necessary adjustments?

Pointing it out could be seen as helpful, but also as gawking/'checking her out' (one could say that he shouldn't have noticed that sort of thing at all).

 

NOT pointing it out could be seen as appropriate (the male teacher averted his eyes), or as lecherous (male teacher percieved as enjoying a bit of exhibitionism unbeknownst to teen girl).

 

(By the way, lets assume that the teacher/coach is not able to leave his class/group and go to find a female teacher...in the middle of teaching, giving a test, etc. Otherwise, that would be the obvious solution.)

[NoPlaceLikeHome]

I am not a teacher, but is it feasible to ask administration how they want situations like that handled? Do they have dress codes and who enforces it? Could student be sent to the principles office with a note? I don't know-just brain-storming ;)

[LG Gone Wild]

Pointing it out could be seen as helpful, but also as gawking/'checking her out' (one could say that he shouldn't have noticed that sort of thing at all).

 

 

 

No, one could not reasonably say that. There is a mom at my gym who, gee, looks artificially enhanced and wears revealing clothes to the point of absurdity. I look! And I am not into that.

 

 

A male teacher should be able to tell a student that certain clothes are not appropriate for class. My dh has told me of female students coming to class in clubbing outfits, not appropriate for a welding class.

[HollyinNNV]

My immediate thought is to send a note in a closed envelope to administration and let them take care of it.

 

or ignore it

 

as a woman, I'd not directly deal with it because it is not the place of the teacher but administration to deal with this type of situation-same goes for a man IMHO

[Maria from IN]

In my high school we weren't allowed to wear, among other things, tank tops, half shirts, and shorts that were above the tips of the fingers, as well as t-shirts with vulgar sayings or tobacco ads (of course, this was 20 years ago, but I wish it still existed).

 

We were sent home to change and counted as tardy when we got back. Enough tardies and we got detention.

[Dana]

My aunt taught high school. She did have the support of administration and made the rules clear at the start of school. She kept a pair of old (clean) overalls in her class (maybe a shirt too) and would have a student who was clearly inappropriately dressed (spelled out in advance) wear them during her class.

 

I could see this being a bit trickier with a male teacher, but it could be a solution.

 

It's definitely worth discussing with administration from the pov of not allowing a student to distract other students. Many schools have a dress code and policies for violations. (Enforcement may be trickier.)

[PinkInTheBlue]

My guess would be that it would be "safer" if he notified a female teacher or the administration of the need and let them handle it. You never know now-a-days. :)

[sbgrace]

When I taught high school the administration handled dress code violations. So a male teacher could simply tell the office/admin. the student's name and she would would be called out of class to handle the situation.

 

I know some female teachers addressed girls directly but in reality in most cases if the girl was going to go home to change it had to involve the office at some point anyway. What is the teacher going to do in the classroom or hallway to fix it?

[abbeyej]

The male teacher should ask a female administrator (or, barring that, a female teacher) to address the matter with the student.

[Laurie]

I didn't have to deal with this when I was a kindergarten teacher.

 

Speaking as the mother of a pre-teen dd I'd hate to think no one would say anything. Here's what I think might work: Could he say something to the class about how it's summer and he understands that it's not turtleneck season but he also doesn't want any "wardrobe malfunctions" (a la Janet Jackson) in his class. Therefore, if necessary, he's going to issue a WMA (Wardrobe Malfunction Alert) so that people can quickly assess their own situation. He could even turn his back to the class for a moment. I think using some humor with an awkward situation might be the best approach.

 

When I was a kid we used to say "XYZ" for "Examine Your Zipper". It seems to me that saying something like "WMA" would also be appropriate. Maybe the students would use it with each other when necessary so your dh wouldn't have to.

[Building Up]

A friend's dh teaches middle school at a local ps. My understanding is that it is the policy at their school that he should send her to the nurse with a note of explanation, rather than try to address it himself. (The school also has a liberal dress code.)

 

I also like Laurie's suggestion of the "WMA"!

[LizzyBee]

I think if he addresses the situation directly with the student, it's likely to blow up. I like Laurie's suggestion of dealing with it indirectly and humorously. Otherwise, I'd wait until I could notify admin, even if that meant waiting until later in the day.

 

I am sooo glad my dd goes to a school that has a dress code. It's enforced by teachers, not just admin.

[DawnM]

We were given this option as well when I taught high school.

 

It is MUCH harder for the men. Sometimes, esp. a P.E. class, there just isn't a female teacher around. The teacher says, "Meet me down at the field" and by the time the students get there, it is too late.

 

The P.E. teachers did have a system of sorts in place to try to prevent this (didn't always work, but it helped). They had the female teachers stand at the door to the girls' locker room and the men at the boys'. In theory they were supposed to not only make sure everyone got out of the locker room and to class, but they were supposed to check for things like uniform (we had a P.E. uniform too!) and dress code. That way a female could catch it before the male teacher was stuck alone with his class.

 

Dawn

 

A friend's dh teaches middle school at a local ps. My understanding is that it is the policy at their school that he should send her to the nurse with a note of explanation, rather than try to address it himself. (The school also has a liberal dress code.)

 

I also like Laurie's suggestion of the "WMA"!

[lgm]

They are sent to the nurse with no public comment so they can adjust their attire in private. If they need to borrow a t-shirt, the nurse has several to lend. They won't be going back to class until they conform with the dress code but if they are nice about it they may be allowed to go back to their locker and get any clothing they removed (that mama thought they would be wearing all day).

[Pink Fairy]

My dh deals with this. He keeps a very large, unflattering t-shirt for those who dress inappropriately but who don't actually cross the line into "go to the office" territory. If you can imagine, certain "adjustments" will make something unacceptable suddenly acceptable, so it depends on how they're wearing what they're wearing. A t-shirt works for those borderline situations.

[ConnieB]

 

(By the way, lets assume that the teacher/coach is not able to leave his class/group and go to find a female teacher...in the middle of teaching, giving a test, etc. Otherwise, that would be the obvious solution.)

 

 

Except that most times when someone dresses inappropriately it's not a one time thing....it's every day with the low cut blouse, tummy showing, short shorts.

 

I think in that case the ongoing problem should be turned over to administration and that they should handle it not as an isolated incident but as the ongoing problem. In which case, I would hope that admin (principal?) would call the parents in to discuss it.

 

If I were that male I would avoid making any mention of inappropriate clothing.....it could be misconstrued either purposely or not. It's sad but I think this falls into the same category of teachers no longer being able to hug a distraught student, or in congratulations even.....and also not being able to allow a student to take them into confidences. There is simply too much danger for the teacher. According to friends I have that are teachers, many schools have a standing policy that no teacher is EVER to be completely alone with a student. The door to the classroom is to remain open if there is only teacher/student in the room.

 

I find that necessity very sad. I can remember a year when I was going through extremely difficult home situation and having a male teacher who would greet me happily each day and often with a semi-hug. And more than once I cried heavily on his shoulder. He was a wonderful friend to a teen going through life's tough moments...and remained a friend for years after (even attended my wedding). Our friendship ended only upon his death, which devastated me. But our friendship never, ever, even for a second was anything more than mentor/student/friends. But I know that today he would never have been able to do this. Sad. I also had a female teacher who befriended my high school boyfriend and I....her car broke down, we happened upon her, bf helped and we became friends. We went to her home many times for talking, card games and dinner. We were careful to not divulge our friendship at school, but that because she was worried that we students would be in trouble with our peers, not that she would be in trouble. In fact, I'm fairly sure that other teachers knew of our friendship. She moved away and we slowly lost contact, but I have many things that she made for me (she was an artist at heart, a teacher to survive).

 

If your hypothetical question is about a real situation, please have this teacher talk with his admin folks...and if they don't help, then with the superintendent's office. He needs to protect himself. In the meantime he needs to avert his eyes, but in a subtle non-obvious ways, as attention to the situation can be just as bad!

 

I'm glad that I'm my children's teachers....they get hugs and shoulders to cry on, and friendship from THEIR teacher.....I just happen to also be their mom.

[Audrey]

I wonder what all you gals think about this -- especially those of you who have teen daughters.

 

Is it best for a male teacher/coach to just ignore it if a girl who is 'falling out' of her top, or to point it out so she can make necessary adjustments?

 

Pointing it out could be seen as helpful, but also as gawking/'checking her out' (one could say that he shouldn't have noticed that sort of thing at all).

 

NOT pointing it out could be seen as appropriate (the male teacher averted his eyes), or as lecherous (male teacher percieved as enjoying a bit of exhibitionism unbeknownst to teen girl).

 

(By the way, lets assume that the teacher/coach is not able to leave his class/group and go to find a female teacher...in the middle of teaching, giving a test, etc. Otherwise, that would be the obvious solution.)

 

At our little town school, teachers are simply supposed to say "your attire is inappropriate" and then send the student to the principal with a form note. The principal then gets to handle the issue. The parent gets a copy of the form note. I've seen one and it is basically a checklist of possible attire infractions. The teacher simply checks which ones apply.

[elw_miller]

In my high school we weren't allowed to wear, among other things, tank tops, half shirts, and shorts that were above the tips of the fingers, as well as t-shirts with vulgar sayings or tobacco ads (of course, this was 20 years ago, but I wish it still existed).

 

I taught 8th grade in IA 5 years ago and all those were against school dress code--except tanks were okay so long as bra straps didn't show. The fingertip rule is still there.

 

For students who were dressed inappropriately I had a hideous cardigan for them to wear in class (and then give them a reminder about the code at the end--I never had to remind a student twice). In a male teacher's shoes I might still have them put on the hideous cardigan and go to the main office with a note. Though, I think some male teachers could get away with just telling students straight up their clothing is against code.

 

Good question.

[elizabeth]

This situation is a prime example of dress codes being a disciplinary matter removed from individual teacher discretion. They refer the offending student to the vice principal or principal for a dress code infraction. No big deal. I am enclosing our district's code and policy . http://www.council-bluffs.k12.ia.us/stu_serv/Student-Dress-Code-07.pdf I think it is fairly clear and enforceable. It is a tough issue to address as many students must procure their clothing from older siblings or thrift stores and compliance with the code is not a primary concern. Thank goodness Britney Spears naughty schoolgirl look is done with. I am sure the designers, marketers and buyers for the stores will come up with some new fad that degrades young women soon enough. They always do . I wonder though with the new maxi dress trend if we are not coming to the point where the pendulum is swinging back toward a level of respect for self . I am very, very grateful that we are able to home educate so that dd can have her character shaped by other forces than mass marketing schemes that debase and demean young women.

[JudyJudyJudy]

To address the OP, as a male teacher, I would not say anything to the female student. I'd talk to either an administrator or a female teacher about it. Likewise, if a male student's "package" were showing, I wouldn't speak directly to the male student about it; I'd enlist the help of another male in the building.

 

 

In my high school we weren't allowed to wear, among other things, tank tops, half shirts, and shorts that were above the tips of the fingers, as well as t-shirts with vulgar sayings or tobacco ads (of course, this was 20 years ago, but I wish it still existed).

When I taught middle school during the 2007-2008 school year, those rules still existed; I'm sure they still do. However, there wasn't a rule about cleavage.

 

 

as a woman, I'd not directly deal with it because it is not the place of the teacher but administration to deal with this type of situation-same goes for a man IMHO

I know some might think I was out of line, but as a teacher, I did deal with situations if I felt comfortable doing so. For example, I had a sixth grader who was very well developed. As I said, we didn't have a rule about cleavage, and she frequently spilled out of her tops. I felt comfortable with talking to the student about it, so I did. It helped.

 

I think part of "the bad" that has happened in most schools is that teachers feel a need to have distance from their students for fear of lawsuits or whatever; I think that is sad. Fortunately, I was in a school where it's still common for teachers and students to hug each other. I hope problems never develop here that makes that against the rules.

[msjones]

No, one could not reasonably say that. There is a mom at my gym who, gee, looks artificially enhanced and wears revealing clothes to the point of absurdity. I look! And I am not into that.

 

 

A male teacher should be able to tell a student that certain clothes are not appropriate for class. My dh has told me of female students coming to class in clubbing outfits, not appropriate for a welding class.

 

The problem, however, is that the male teacher then earns the reputation of teacher-who-notices-girls'-breasts.

[msjones]

In my high school we weren't allowed to wear, among other things, tank tops, half shirts, and shorts that were above the tips of the fingers, as well as t-shirts with vulgar sayings or tobacco ads (of course, this was 20 years ago, but I wish it still existed).

 

We were sent home to change and counted as tardy when we got back. Enough tardies and we got detention.

 

This is not the policy at my husband's school. The parents often don't even dress that conservatively.

[msjones]

When I taught high school the administration handled dress code violations. So a male teacher could simply tell the office/admin. the student's name and she would would be called out of class to handle the situation.

 

I know some female teachers addressed girls directly but in reality in most cases if the girl was going to go home to change it had to involve the office at some point anyway. What is the teacher going to do in the classroom or hallway to fix it?

 

The 'plan' is for teacher's to notify the office, and the office brings a large t-shirt. But, you can see that then that teacher is seen as having noticed the "hot" girl.

[msjones]

My dh deals with this. He keeps a very large, unflattering t-shirt for those who dress inappropriately but who don't actually cross the line into "go to the office" territory. If you can imagine, certain "adjustments" will make something unacceptable suddenly acceptable, so it depends on how they're wearing what they're wearing. A t-shirt works for those borderline situations.

 

So, does he just approach the girl, tell her that her shirt is too tiny or too tight, hand over the shirt, and carry on? Or does he pull her aside? The problem is that doing it publicly is humiliating, and pulling her aside for a private conversation about her sexy clothing seems a bit creepy.

[msjones]

This situation is a prime example of dress codes being a disciplinary matter removed from individual teacher discretion. They refer the offending student to the vice principal or principal for a dress code infraction. No big deal. I am enclosing our district's code and policy . http://www.council-bluffs.k12.ia.us/stu_serv/Student-Dress-Code-07.pdf I think it is fairly clear and enforceable. It is a tough issue to address as many students must procure their clothing from older siblings or thrift stores and compliance with the code is not a primary concern. Thank goodness Britney Spears naughty schoolgirl look is done with. I am sure the designers, marketers and buyers for the stores will come up with some new fad that degrades young women soon enough. They always do . I wonder though with the new maxi dress trend if we are not coming to the point where the pendulum is swinging back toward a level of respect for self . I am very, very grateful that we are able to home educate so that dd can have her character shaped by other forces than mass marketing schemes that debase and demean young women.

This is similar to our district's policy, but it's the enforcement that is the problem.

And, yes, I agree that fashion may be swinging back to larger clothing. I notice a lot of long vests and cardigans in the fall ads. I hope so!

[Pink Fairy]

So, does he just approach the girl, tell her that her shirt is too tiny or too tight, hand over the shirt, and carry on? Or does he pull her aside? The problem is that doing it publicly is humiliating, and pulling her aside for a private conversation about her sexy clothing seems a bit creepy.

 

I think he just says something like "You know better than that," and hands her the t-shirt. I don't think he's worried about her feeling humiliated. First of all, he teaches seniors, so these are 17 and 18 year olds, not 12 year olds. Secondly, if she's humiliated, she's much less likely to do it again. He tells everyone at the beginning of the year that he expects them to comport themselves with dignity, including in their dress, and if they don't this is what they can expect. So it's not exactly a surprise.

 

Repoire makes a difference, too. My dh's students know that he really cares about them. He treats them with a sort of fatherly respect, and because of that most of them receive his corrections well.

 

He does tell me it's difficult, sometimes. He teaches in an urban environment, and a lot of the girls dress provocatively. The dress code doesn't cover things like "super tight," so you can't do much about that.

[Joanne]

I believe the appropriate response starts with a written, clear as possible and enforcable policy.

 

What concerns me with this is that inappropriate and immodest are subjective.

[pqr]

At our little town school, teachers are simply supposed to say "your attire is inappropriate" and then send the student to the principal with a form note. The principal then gets to handle the issue. The parent gets a copy of the form note.

 

Thank heavens.... some sanity.

 

What happened to the days when a teacher, male or female, would have said "Mary you are not dressed apopropriately, please leave my class?" The touchy feely attitudes demonstrate all too well the impact of our litigous society, the weakness of our teachers and the gross failure of parents, society, teachers et al to insist on standards.

 

If a child insists on dressing like a tart she should be called on it.

Edited August 1, 2009 by pqr

[chaik76]

Thank heavens.... some sanity.

 

What happened to the days when a teacher, male or female, would have said "Mary you are not dressed apopropriately, please leave my class?" The touchy feely attitudes demonstrate all to well the impact of our litigous society, the weakness of our teachers and the gross failure of parents, society, teachers et al to insist on standards.

 

If a child insists on dressing like a tart she should be called on it.

Uncalled for. You become more and more rude with every post you make.

[pqr]

Uncalled for. You become more and more rude with every post you make.

 

 

In a discussion that is devoted to.... what is the title of the thread?? Oh yes "How should teachers respond to immodest clothing?"......just what was uncalled for?

 

What was rude?

 

What in my opinions was incorrect?

 

Why are you so upset?

[TCoppock]

My guess would be that it would be "safer" if he notified a female teacher or the administration of the need and let them handle it. You never know now-a-days. :)

:iagree:

When I was in private school there were a few who pushed the boundaries. (myself included):blink: Our principle had floor length skirts and PLENTY of oversized sweatshirts for us to cover up. We had a male teacher who would say very matter-of- fact, 'I see you are having trouble with your clothing. Go see Mrs. X and see if she can help you with that.'

[Karenciavo]

If there were a dress code I would have him write a note to the office saying the girl needs to change her clothes and have her deliver it. If there is no dress code what can he do?

[Karenciavo]

I see nothing wrong with what you said.

 

In a discussion that is devoted to.... what is the title of the thread?? Oh yes "How should teachers respond to immodest clothing?"......just what was uncalled for?

 

What was rude?

 

What in my opinions was incorrect?

 

Why are you so upset?

[Karenciavo]

I believe the appropriate response starts with a written, clear as possible and enforcable policy.

 

What concerns me with this is that inappropriate and immodest are subjective.

 

Yup, it's up to teacher/administration discretion. Nothing wrong with that.

[lgm]

If the school is having an enforcement problem, the male teachers need to speak with the principal or union rep (whichever is their chain of command) about their dilemma..it's been addressed successfully in other school districts and can be in this one too.

 

Here, the nurse and those staff members designated with bus & hall duty do the incoming student checks. Dress code is one of the checks...if students walk in inappropriately dressed they are directed to go to the nurse's office and borrow something appropriate. If they change later they will be given a pass to the nurse's office with the remark 'dress code'. If they are off-task and drawing undue attention themselves, they are re-directed or sent up to the AP that handles discipline.

[chaik76]

Thank heavens.... some sanity.

 

What happened to the days when a teacher, male or female, would have said "Mary you are not dressed apopropriately, please leave my class?" The touchy feely attitudes demonstrate all too well the impact of our litigous society, the weakness of our teachers and the gross failure of parents, society, teachers et al to insist on standards.

 

If a child insists on dressing like a tart she should be called on it.

 

Uncalled for. You become more and more rude with every post you make.

 

In a discussion that is devoted to.... what is the title of the thread?? Oh yes "How should teachers respond to immodest clothing?"......just what was uncalled for?

 

What was rude?

 

What in my opinions was incorrect?

 

Why are you so upset?

I actually meant to highlight this: "If a child insists on dressing like a tart she should be called on it." The way it showed up, it looked like I disagreed with your entire post, which is untrue.

 

I have no problem with the rest of your post...where one should be able to ask an inappropriately dressed student to leave class. I think that should be the standard.

 

My issue was specifically with "dressing like a tart"...first, what is considered "tart-like" dress is subjective...some people might think a skirt that only comes to the knees is tart-like, and second, there are more appropriate ways of stating that. The comment suggests (I admit it does not state) that the child who dresses like a "tart" is a "tart". My main objection is to the word itself, and to basically branding a child or teen with this designation.

[JudyJudyJudy]

I'd never heard the word "tart" used that way. You learn something new every day. :tongue_smilie:

[5kidsforME]

Uncalled for. You become more and more rude with every post you make.

 

Use the ignore feature if it bothers you so much.

 

For the OP, does the school have any policy on this? I agree with the posters that said he should have a big t-shirt for the girls that dress inappropriatley, maybe even a belt for the boys that wear their pants down around their knees :tongue_smilie:. If it embarrases them maybe they should have thought about that before. I am sure they will definately think about it the next time they want to dress that way.

[pqr]

 

My issue was specifically with "dressing like a tart"...first, what is considered "tart-like" dress is subjective...some people might think a skirt that only comes to the knees is tart-like, and second, there are more appropriate ways of stating that. The comment suggests (I admit it does not state) that the child who dresses like a "tart" is a "tart". My main objection is to the word itself, and to basically branding a child or teen with this designation.

 

 

A short search of 3 different on-line dictionaries came up with the following definitions:

 

Tart:

 

a. A prostitute.

b. A woman considered to be sexually promiscuous.

 

Tart:

 

a. prostitute or any promiscuous woman

 

Tart:

 

a. derog. a prostitute or a promiscuous woman.

 

In my attempt to maintain some decorum I did not use that other word frequently associated with the word tart (See definitions above, trying not to be too rude, you do understand). But as to the line, I stand by it. If a child insists on dressing like a tart she should be called on it." I would imagine that given the various descriptions in this thread of how children are dressing there is little doubt as to what mode of dress I was speaking of. Further looking at the definition of the word again leaves little doubt as to my intention.

As to branding a teen with this definition, I certainly never stated that she should be called that by the teacher as that would be inappropriate, but if a child dresses like that then the appellation will be applied by those who see her on the street. Many believe, sometimes erroneously, that “if it walks like a duck and it talks like a duck…..†This is why I lamented the weakness of our society in not calling a girl on this dress; as negative reinforcement does modify behavior.

Those who would allow children to dress like this do give a tacit nod to the fact that they are allowing their children to be labeled by a large segment of society. In some cases it will simply cause disdain on the part of the individual seeing a girl so dressed, but others who are far more dangerous may see opportunity. This fact, if for no other reason, should persuade parents to keep their daughters’ dress style on the more conservative side.

[Tony'sMom]

We wore uniforms from 3rd grade through high school. What a easier time!

We knew everyday when we got up what we were going to be wearing. In fact, on Saturday morning we would each iron 5 white blouses for the coming week. (Yes, ironing!) With 3 sisters I often earned extra cash by ironing their blouses. (Because we wore sweaters also, I had one sister that would iron only what woudl show - the collar and the front of her shirt. Weekday mornings there was no standing in front of a closet picking and choosing or arguing with parents about what we were going to wear. In high school there was a wide disparity in income levels. The uniforms evened things out a bit. No clothes competition. If ever there was a problem the teachers could easily say, "Your out of uniform, please go down to the office." The "out of uniform" usually consisted of a skirt rolled at the waist to make it shorter. By the time they got to the office the problem was usually corrected already. I found it humorous that 30 years later, when my son was in a private school, that they resolved the rolled skirt problem by sewing the school's crest on the waistband of the skirt. If the crest was not visible you were "out of uniform". Another positive point for the uniforms - cost!! 5 white blouses, a couple skirts, a couple sweaters, and one butt-ugly gym uniform from the 30's - is sure less expensive than buying clothes all year long to satisfy the latest fashion trend. Ok, do I sound old???? I'm really not. We thought the uniforms were ugly - but we were all ugly together:001_smile:

[Desert Rat]

It would depend on the rules/codes of that school. My dad was a youth pastor and used to hand out big, oversized, ugly as sin T shirts to the girls who wore inappropriate tops or even bottoms that were too short. The girls hated wearing the shirts so they came dressed appropriately.

[Laurie]

(Because we wore sweaters also' date=' I had one sister that would iron only what woudl show - the collar and the front of her shirt. :[/quote']

 

And I agree with you about school uniforms! I always thought my Kindergarten students looked so cute. I was sorry, though, when schools started including sweatshirts as part of the uniform. The polo shirts didn't bother me, but a sweatshirt still looks sloppy to me even if it has the school's name on it. :tongue_smilie:

 

My dh's school uniform included a tie...everyday! The only downside for him is that to this day he refuses to wear anything green. :ack2:

[Impish]

Thinking back to highschool, the girl would simply be sent to the office to see the principal. He was known for sending girls home and telling them to use their skirt as a belt next time.

[Starr]

Male teachers I know were advised to say nothing less they are the ones accused of inappropriate behavior. My favorite solution was a friend who could turn the heat down in his classroom. All the kids started wearing sweatshirts. :)

[Janet in WA]

You could NOT pay me enough to get me to teach in a public high school.

[chaik76]

A short search of 3 different on-line dictionaries came up with the following definitions:

 

Tart:

 

a. A prostitute.

b. A woman considered to be sexually promiscuous.

 

Tart:

 

a. prostitute or any promiscuous woman

 

Tart:

 

a. derog. a prostitute or a promiscuous woman.

 

In my attempt to maintain some decorum I did not use that other word frequently associated with the word tart (See definitions above, trying not to be too rude, you do understand). But as to the line, I stand by it. If a child insists on dressing like a tart she should be called on it." I would imagine that given the various descriptions in this thread of how children are dressing there is little doubt as to what mode of dress I was speaking of. Further looking at the definition of the word again leaves little doubt as to my intention.

As to branding a teen with this definition, I certainly never stated that she should be called that by the teacher as that would be inappropriate, but if a child dresses like that then the appellation will be applied by those who see her on the street. Many believe, sometimes erroneously, that “if it walks like a duck and it talks like a duck…..†This is why I lamented the weakness of our society in not calling a girl on this dress; as negative reinforcement does modify behavior.

Those who would allow children to dress like this do give a tacit nod to the fact that they are allowing their children to be labeled by a large segment of society. In some cases it will simply cause disdain on the part of the individual seeing a girl so dressed, but others who are far more dangerous may see opportunity. This fact, if for no other reason, should persuade parents to keep their daughters’ dress style on the more conservative side.

Thank you for your explanation. I really do appreciate it as it helps me better see where you are coming from. Again, I do agree with the majority of what you stated here, so thanks for clarifying.

[chaik76]

Use the ignore feature if it bothers you so much.

 

 

Actually, while I often disagree with pqr, he also has very interesting things to say (some of which I do agree with), so I won't be putting him on ignore. Pqr very kindly addressed my issues with his posts...just as this thread called out teens dressing inappropriately I was calling out something I saw, which I consider totally acceptable. Pqr was able to respond and I was able to see the areas in which I agree with him.

[sleepymommy]

In this day in age, I think it would be safer for the male teacher to simply let the administration know that the girl in question is wearing clothing that is inappropriate and let them take care of it.

 

Honestly, if her stuff is hanging out accidently then it's unfortunate for her and hopefully one of her friends will let her know, but if she's letting it all hang out on purpose than she's just embarrassing herself and the administration should handle it.

[TravelingChris]

My daughter attended a fine arts summer program held at a ps school this summer. We got a copy of the rules and she obeyed them. Many other teens did not and there was no enforcement at all.

 

Then my son was telling me about the Muslim women at his college who wear head covering but extremely tight and revealing clothes. He didn't understand that practice at all.